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People Lose It At Australian Model’s “118 Reasons” Why She Doesn’t Want Kids
From losing sleep privileges to getting a so-called “pregnancy nose”, those are just a few of the hundreds of reasons why women have expressed their disdain for ever having kids, and this Aussie model has taken it upon herself to highlight the reasonings.
Model Ellie Gonsalves collected over 100 reasons not to have children, from other women sharing their own experiences with pregnancy and motherhood on social media.
Nevertheless, upon sharing the controversial list, the 32-year-old has been subjected to backlash.
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Model Ellie Gonsalves collected over 100 reasons not to have children
Image credits: ellie_gonsalves
Image credits: ellie_gonsalves
In fact, Ellie left people online quite divided after sharing 118 justifications why she does not want children on Instagram last Sunday (November 26).
Opening up to Mamamia about the online abuse she has received following her brutal honesty, Ellie said: “I have already received hundreds of DMs criticizing me, telling me how much of a horrible and broken person I am.
“But lots of these fears/thoughts ARE real.
“They resonate with not only me but with so many other women.
“A lot of them are small things that contribute towards a much bigger picture.”
“Lots of these fears/thoughts ARE real,” Ellie said
Image credits: ellie_gonsalves
Image credits: ellie_gonsalves
The model reportedly admitted that the messages she has received questioning the list she had posted to her Instagram page only increased her firmness.
Ellie explained: “They further illustrate my main point: people are sold a certain life, and when they witness others choosing a different path, the frustration lies within themselves.”
Ellie and her husband Ross Scutts said they didn’t want children
Image credits: ellie_gonsalves
Image credits: ellie_gonsalves
However, the influencer also opened up about the multiple positive messages from fans praising her for speaking her truth and sharing her candid view of her desire to remain child-free.
She said: “It’s been nice to read hundreds of comments from people who feel seen, people who have also had uncomfortable moments where others have questioned their choice and all that has done is made them feel awful or uncomfortable.”
Image credits: ellie_gonsalves
Image credits: ellie_gonsalves
Ellie’s post, which has prompted nearly 1,000 comments, listed, among other things, postpartum hair loss, “babies poo inside you”, and “your house will never be tidy”.
She clarified: “While some of those things on my list are satirical, many are serious and factual.
“Societal pressure when it comes to this topic is truly questionable and I believe unfair towards those with differing opinions.
“Very rarely do we see a voice in support of this, because let’s face it, the public backlash can be too much.”
“I have already received hundreds of DMs criticizing me,” Ellie admitted
Image credits: ellie_gonsalves
Image credits: ellie_gonsalves
As a result, Ellie isn’t planning to grow a family anytime soon along with her recent husband and long-term partner, entrepreneur Ross Scutts.
Ellie and Ross reportedly married in two luxury ceremonies back in March, with the official nuptials taking place at the floating beach club La Luna on the Gold Coast.
The couple followed the intimate ceremony with a second luxury event where they had invited their bridal party and other guests.
“They resonate with not only me but with so many other women,” the model explained
Image credits: ellie_gonsalves
Image credits: ellie_gonsalves
Last year, TikTok user @yuniquethoughts rose to popularity online after going viral several times for sharing her ongoing list of reasons why she never wants to have a baby, earning her the nickname of “the girl with the list”.
Yuni has constantly shared videos of women sharing their experiences with having kids and pregnancy on TikTok, prompting a never-ending stream of pros and cons of having children.
Her list, which has since been printed to show the impressive amount of pages the number of cons have amounted to, features over 300 reasons to not have babies.
Image credits: ellie_gonsalves
Image credits: ellie_gonsalves
One of the few pros that have been listed includes not having a period for nine months, although this isn’t the case for all women.
Other women have also taken to TikTok to make similar lists, such as @lifeofnina___, or simply “the girl with the list” on the social media platform.
Image credits: ellie_gonsalves
Image credits: ellie_gonsalves
Image credits: ellie_gonsalves
View this post on Instagram
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, since 2007, the birth rate in the US has been declining by about 2% each year on average.
Despite early speculation about a pandemic baby boom, the coronavirus crisis accelerated the decline even further, with births falling by 4% last year, as per CNN.
Moreover, Business Insider reported last year that a growing number of Americans have lost interest in becoming a parent, as a November Pew Research Center survey of 3,800-plus Americans suggested that 44% of non-parents said it’s not too likely or not likely at all they’ll have kids someday.
While some women state their careers as being more important than having children, others have said the idea of being childless has become less taboo, while others simply think it costs too much to take care of a child.
People admired Ellie’s honesty and wished more people shared their experience
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What do you think ?
Mimi M 2 years ago
Is Raven your bird, your dog or your cat? I'm voting dog...
Load More Replies...
Ima Manimal 2 years ago (edited)
She’s thought it through. I think it’s hilarious how miserable people with children like to point and judge. We are happy. Leave us alone. Oh, and your baby stinks.
Tamra 2 years ago
I totally support fellow women who choose to be child-free, just as I support those who choose to be parents. We've fought a long time to be able to make these choices for ourselves. However, if you choose to post a self-indulgent rant about either decision on the internet, be prepared for a slew of opinions.
Load More Replies...
Ace 2 years ago
Jeez, some of the comments! "You'll regret it when you're 50", No, she won't. She'll be enjoying the lifestyle she's become accustomed to over the years while watching her parent peers struggle to finally get rid of their offspring so they can start spending their hard-earned money on themselves.
Ripley 2 years ago
As someone who is sans kids and 50+, 100% this. We did want kinds at one stage - didn't happen for us and I don't miss it.
Load More Replies...
Some Random Person 2 years ago
Unfortunately, at least in Eastern Europe, when a woman "comes of age", most of the older relatives, next-door neighbors, co-workers and other people around start persistently asking "Why aren't you married? If you're married, why don't you have kids? If you're single, why don't you give birth to have your own tiny human and the purpose of life? And so on.." When I was verbally attacked with similar questions for the first time, I really felt lost and in order to defend myself I tried to create a similar list, because a simple "no" is not good enough for all those people. Some of them really wished me well (in a very weird way), but most just didn't care. This pressure from society is plausible, it creates tons of negativity, self-doubt and anger mixed with sadness. I do not have kids because I don't want to, and that is the only answer all the asking people get from me now. And we live in the 21st century, when a woman can and should choose for herself in her unique circumstances.
nini 2 years ago
As soon as we told people about our engagement the comments about children started. We don't want children. When people ask me why, I simply ask "Well, why should I? Haven't got a well enough reason yet."
Load More Replies...
CD Mills 2 years ago
I am a parent and I think every reason she posted is 100% valid for her. I've always wanted a tattoo but I'm a needle phone so I don't have a tattoo. I don't want a tattoo bad enough to do whatever I'd need to do to get me to get one. It's not worth it to me to overcome that fear. Just like it's not worth it to her to overcome her fears of having a child.
Latchkey 2 years ago
Please don't downvote me for what I'm going to say. I 100% agree that children aren't for everyone, it's *not* up to others to decide; it's for everyone to come to that decision on their own. Some people just don't want kids, and they don't need to have a reason. That's okay! However, a lot of these worries she has can be prevented by just making different choices. Ie. Getting "fisted" (lol) by people checking how dilated you are.. if you don't want that, it's okay to say no! Women's bodies are designed to handle childbirth, and while yes it's very very hard, it's always up to mama to decide what she wants to go through, not the docs! She should listen to her body, it knows when to push and what position to be in. I say this because I used to be really afraid of pregnancy and childbirth until I did a bit of reading and found alternative options to what is seen in the media. It doesn't have to be scary, it can be empowering!
Allen Packard 2 years ago
Ok. Who actually cares about whether someone wants children or not? Why is this a thing? So weird to me. Like to you want an award or something? Is this something that you need validation for?
Susan Green 2 years ago
It shouldn’t be a thing. She obviously just wants attention, which is why every picture of her is filtered/photoshopped.
Load More Replies...
Sir Panda 2 years ago
It's easy when you're ugly(i.e. me). So I won't have children by default. But good for her. People that don't want children shouldn't have them. We have too many unwanted kids as it is. And that creates a problem of too many broken people who either have delayed maturity or not enough guidance to do better in life. Sure there's those individuals who have the fortitude to recognize on their own, but clearly the vast majority of children with c**p parents or no parents are typically doing far worse or not as successful. Yes there are exceptions. And they are just that. Exceptions.
Mimi M 2 years ago (edited)
If no 'ugly' people procreated, all humans would be beautiful. Since they all aren't, clearly ugly people are also procreating. Ymmv, but still. TLDR, some is down to looks, a lot is just down to luck.
Load More Replies...
Cat Houston 2 years ago
I'm 50 and never regretted not having them, ever. Adding: 119. One in 36 kids are born with Autism and may never be self sufficient, ever. 120. You will also be responsible for all of THEIR kids, should they decide to run off/do drugs/die. 121. At some point, they will hate you, make bad decisions, and have problems. 122. Bringing your own offspring into this deteriorating habitat is just cruel and selfish. 123. Cats rule. Plain and simple.
Big Chungus 2 years ago
I feel like her list is a little over the top on some of it, since in reality almost all of those can also work for why not to date people lol but I would never bash a woman for not wanting kids. It is hard work and not the funnest thing in the world, but the more people make a conscience decision to have children that actually want kids the better for everyone really
Vinnie 2 years ago (edited)
Proper sex ed, a little experience with kids, and letting people make their own choices helps. A friend of mine spent 24 hours with his wee niece, was exhausted, yet delighted enough to say he now wanted kids. He ended up a happy father. I babysat kids, generally got along with them, decided not to have them. I ended up a happy aunt.
Load More Replies... Szebastian-Jacint Stefan 2 years ago
1. If she chooses not to have children, that's perfectly acceptable! 2. Her list contains numerous duplicate reasons, and many seem to cancel each other out. Furthermore, a significant portion of her reasons appears somewhat adolescent, focusing on fun and comfort. 3. It's evident from her list of reasons; she could have been forthright and stated, "I earn my living through my looks," as the list strongly implies. Admitting this could potentially jeopardize her comfortable lifestyle. I would genuinely respect her more if she were honest about it. While I don't take issue with her decision, promoting it to other women who aren't in her position seems morally questionable! ;) I'm curious whether her perspective will remain the same when she reaches the age of 50.
ThisIsMe 2 years ago
There need only be one reason - don't have them if you don't want to. But when you try to use a long list like this that includes fewer legit reasons than shallow (no sex for 6 weeks), irrelevant (choosing a nanny can be difficult?!?), statistically unlikely (child is a serial killer), and sometime down right not true/exaggerations (something about how you can never fly again) reasons, you make it that much harder to be accepted for having the right to choose. I don't have kids - I didn't want them. Why is not actually anyone's business, nor does it need to be justified.
Mimi M 2 years ago
Is Raven your bird, your dog or your cat? I'm voting dog...
Load More Replies... Ima Manimal 2 years ago (edited)
She’s thought it through. I think it’s hilarious how miserable people with children like to point and judge. We are happy. Leave us alone. Oh, and your baby stinks.
Tamra 2 years ago
I totally support fellow women who choose to be child-free, just as I support those who choose to be parents. We've fought a long time to be able to make these choices for ourselves. However, if you choose to post a self-indulgent rant about either decision on the internet, be prepared for a slew of opinions.
Load More Replies... Ace 2 years ago
Jeez, some of the comments! "You'll regret it when you're 50", No, she won't. She'll be enjoying the lifestyle she's become accustomed to over the years while watching her parent peers struggle to finally get rid of their offspring so they can start spending their hard-earned money on themselves.
Ripley 2 years ago
As someone who is sans kids and 50+, 100% this. We did want kinds at one stage - didn't happen for us and I don't miss it.
Load More Replies... Some Random Person 2 years ago
Unfortunately, at least in Eastern Europe, when a woman "comes of age", most of the older relatives, next-door neighbors, co-workers and other people around start persistently asking "Why aren't you married? If you're married, why don't you have kids? If you're single, why don't you give birth to have your own tiny human and the purpose of life? And so on.." When I was verbally attacked with similar questions for the first time, I really felt lost and in order to defend myself I tried to create a similar list, because a simple "no" is not good enough for all those people. Some of them really wished me well (in a very weird way), but most just didn't care. This pressure from society is plausible, it creates tons of negativity, self-doubt and anger mixed with sadness. I do not have kids because I don't want to, and that is the only answer all the asking people get from me now. And we live in the 21st century, when a woman can and should choose for herself in her unique circumstances.
nini 2 years ago
As soon as we told people about our engagement the comments about children started. We don't want children. When people ask me why, I simply ask "Well, why should I? Haven't got a well enough reason yet."
Load More Replies... CD Mills 2 years ago
I am a parent and I think every reason she posted is 100% valid for her. I've always wanted a tattoo but I'm a needle phone so I don't have a tattoo. I don't want a tattoo bad enough to do whatever I'd need to do to get me to get one. It's not worth it to me to overcome that fear. Just like it's not worth it to her to overcome her fears of having a child.
Latchkey 2 years ago
Please don't downvote me for what I'm going to say. I 100% agree that children aren't for everyone, it's *not* up to others to decide; it's for everyone to come to that decision on their own. Some people just don't want kids, and they don't need to have a reason. That's okay! However, a lot of these worries she has can be prevented by just making different choices. Ie. Getting "fisted" (lol) by people checking how dilated you are.. if you don't want that, it's okay to say no! Women's bodies are designed to handle childbirth, and while yes it's very very hard, it's always up to mama to decide what she wants to go through, not the docs! She should listen to her body, it knows when to push and what position to be in. I say this because I used to be really afraid of pregnancy and childbirth until I did a bit of reading and found alternative options to what is seen in the media. It doesn't have to be scary, it can be empowering!
Allen Packard 2 years ago
Ok. Who actually cares about whether someone wants children or not? Why is this a thing? So weird to me. Like to you want an award or something? Is this something that you need validation for?
Susan Green 2 years ago
It shouldn’t be a thing. She obviously just wants attention, which is why every picture of her is filtered/photoshopped.
Load More Replies... Sir Panda 2 years ago
It's easy when you're ugly(i.e. me). So I won't have children by default. But good for her. People that don't want children shouldn't have them. We have too many unwanted kids as it is. And that creates a problem of too many broken people who either have delayed maturity or not enough guidance to do better in life. Sure there's those individuals who have the fortitude to recognize on their own, but clearly the vast majority of children with c**p parents or no parents are typically doing far worse or not as successful. Yes there are exceptions. And they are just that. Exceptions.
Mimi M 2 years ago (edited)
If no 'ugly' people procreated, all humans would be beautiful. Since they all aren't, clearly ugly people are also procreating. Ymmv, but still. TLDR, some is down to looks, a lot is just down to luck.
Load More Replies... Cat Houston 2 years ago
I'm 50 and never regretted not having them, ever. Adding: 119. One in 36 kids are born with Autism and may never be self sufficient, ever. 120. You will also be responsible for all of THEIR kids, should they decide to run off/do drugs/die. 121. At some point, they will hate you, make bad decisions, and have problems. 122. Bringing your own offspring into this deteriorating habitat is just cruel and selfish. 123. Cats rule. Plain and simple.
Big Chungus 2 years ago
I feel like her list is a little over the top on some of it, since in reality almost all of those can also work for why not to date people lol but I would never bash a woman for not wanting kids. It is hard work and not the funnest thing in the world, but the more people make a conscience decision to have children that actually want kids the better for everyone really
Vinnie 2 years ago (edited)
Proper sex ed, a little experience with kids, and letting people make their own choices helps. A friend of mine spent 24 hours with his wee niece, was exhausted, yet delighted enough to say he now wanted kids. He ended up a happy father. I babysat kids, generally got along with them, decided not to have them. I ended up a happy aunt.
Load More Replies... Szebastian-Jacint Stefan 2 years ago
1. If she chooses not to have children, that's perfectly acceptable! 2. Her list contains numerous duplicate reasons, and many seem to cancel each other out. Furthermore, a significant portion of her reasons appears somewhat adolescent, focusing on fun and comfort. 3. It's evident from her list of reasons; she could have been forthright and stated, "I earn my living through my looks," as the list strongly implies. Admitting this could potentially jeopardize her comfortable lifestyle. I would genuinely respect her more if she were honest about it. While I don't take issue with her decision, promoting it to other women who aren't in her position seems morally questionable! ;) I'm curious whether her perspective will remain the same when she reaches the age of 50.
ThisIsMe 2 years ago
There need only be one reason - don't have them if you don't want to. But when you try to use a long list like this that includes fewer legit reasons than shallow (no sex for 6 weeks), irrelevant (choosing a nanny can be difficult?!?), statistically unlikely (child is a serial killer), and sometime down right not true/exaggerations (something about how you can never fly again) reasons, you make it that much harder to be accepted for having the right to choose. I don't have kids - I didn't want them. Why is not actually anyone's business, nor does it need to be justified.
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