Photographer Deletes Wedding Photos She Took Right In Front Of The Groom, Goes Viral
If you’re asking your friend for a favor, don’t antagonize them. Sounds simple? Sure! However, you’ll find that in real life, some people have no problem at all being mean to their pals, demanding that they keep working without any breaks for hours on end, and denying them even food, and water. And then… they act surprised when they can’t take it anymore.
A dog groomer and part-time amateur photographer asked the AITA Reddit community for its verdict on whether or not she was a jerk for deleting their friend’s wedding photos in front of them. Her story went absolutely viral and internet users rushed to express their support for the photographer.
However, we’d love to hear what you think about the situation, dear Pandas! Have a read through redditor u/Icy-Reserve6995’s full, detailed story below.
Photographer Dominic Sberna gave Bored Panda his take on the importance of contracts when working events. “A signed contract in this day and age is important, but it’s even more important to have everything upfront if either individual has any doubts,” he said. “Something a lot of people forget is that a verbal contract is also legally binding. So, it’s more about making everything transparent between each party involved.”
An amateur photographer’s favor for a friend quickly turned sour
Image credits: Mariah Krafft (not the actual photo)
The photographer agreed to take pictures at her friend’s wedding, however, things didn’t turn out quite as she expected
Photographer Dominic shared with Bored Panda that when it comes to doing favors for your friends and keeping everyone happy, honesty is key. “Much like anything in life, be honest. At the end of the day, you have to do what you’re okay with, and what is best for you. Not in a selfish way, but in a way that you know you’re not going to regret later,” he said that we have to know what our boundaries are and make them clear for everyone involved.
He also gave some advice for photographers to keep up their strength while working on their feet for hours on end. “Stay hydrated, bring snacks if needed, and wear a comfy pair of shoes. The brain and body need sustenance and you’ll be more focused if you keep yourself sustained. If you cannot wear a comfy pair of shoes, get a good pair of inserts,” Dominic suggested.
Redditor u/Icy-Reserve6995’s tale spread like wildfire online. It got 18k upvotes on the platform and soon caught the attention of some popular news outlets which helped spread the story even further.
The redditor pointed out to the AITA community that she’s “not really a photographer.” However, since she has got to take lots of photos of dogs for their work social media accounts, she’s got some experience with it.
That’s why a friend of theirs reached out, asking to be the photographer at their wedding. They offered her 250 dollars for 10 hours of work. That’s very little money for that much work, but the redditor saw it as helping out a pal on a “shoestring budget.”
Plenty of us have been there, lending our skills to our friends for free or for a symbolic payment simply because we care about them and want to help. So personally, I know exactly where she were coming from. However… this doesn’t mean that your friends can treat you like you’re not a human.
Sometimes, people forget that photographers are real human beings with very basic needs. Like drinking some water. Grabbing a bite to eat. Taking a small break to get their energy back. Unfortunately, the redditor explained how the bride and groom didn’t save them a seat at their table for a meal. They also refused to let the photographer take a 20-minute break to eat and drink.
The photographer gave some curious redditors some more information about what happened
The worst part (at least for me) was that the redditor couldn’t even get a drink of water after she emptied their personal water bottles. She mentioned that it was 110 degrees F (that’s over 43 degrees C) and there was no air conditioning. And I believe that we’ve all been in situations where we’d give practically anything for a nice, long, cool drink of water.
That’s exactly what the photographer did after her friend told them that she wouldn’t get paid if she left at that moment. She deleted the photos right in front of the groom. “If I was to be paid $250, honestly at that point I would have paid $250 just for a glass of cold water and somewhere to sit for 5 minutes,” the redditor wrote. A lot of us can relate to this.
ShootProof explains that one of the most important things that you can do as a wedding photographer is to make everything legal. “One of the biggest beginner mistakes a photographer can make when photographing weddings is not having a signed contract. When you have a legally binding contract, it sets an agreement between you and the client,” they explain.
With a contract in play, your client agrees with your role and responsibilities. “The contract clearly states your tasks and what your clients will receive. It serves as a protection to both parties, especially since there’s money involved.” Of course, this can be a tough question to address with friends, however… stories like the one we’ve just read suggest that sometimes making things official isn’t the worst idea in the book.
Here’s what those people who supported the photographer had to say
However, some others thought that everybody was to blame in this case. Here’s why they think so
The groom fired the photographer without pay. There was no contract anymore, which gave the photographer the freedom to do with the pictures whatever she liked. She chose to delete them. End of story. All this "yes, but..." leads to nothing. It is done and over. Perhaps both of them will have learned a lesson out of this.
plus she was invited so was supposed to eat and drink...
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Yes, but then she decided to charge a semi-pro fee for taking pics (with probably zero post-processing) at which point she chose to become staff over guest
semi-pro fee? are you kidding? That's just cost coverage. semi-pro would be at least 1000.
with no regards to the money. staff needs food and water too. exception for the restaurant/waiters: these ppl are expected to eat on their own as they have the direct access to the kitchen and it is them charging you for food. they can simply charge more and eat what they cooked. but if you hire someone to take pictures or videos, a band, DJ or a professional host like it is in our country ( someone who tells ppl what to do, entertains guests with jokes, competitions etc) they all need to eat and drink and YOU as their employer have to provide it. if not anything else as a plain courtesy. I cannot imagine not to feed my photographer who was with me from 7am till midnight during my wedding
My hackles went up at "food is being served and I was told I cannot stop to eat because I need to be photographer; in fact, they didn't save me a spot at any table". My photographer was a friend who was paid full-price (they're a professional) and fed same as the guests.
He didn't even want her to take a break for water in 110F heat. That's inhuman.
That part really got me too, I just couldn't fathom being this unkind to anyone none the less a friend. I didnt even know my photographer, he was still served the same food as guests and before the wedding I asked him if he'd like a seat at a guests table or given a private table to eat dinner
My hubby and I 'hired' photography students at a tech college (hubby took a different course there) We were willing to feed them, they declined. They were not paid, we got the photos for cost. $ 300.00 (the class did 'mock' weddings for experience) Hubby just went to the class and asked if anyone wanted to have the opportunity to do a real one. The guys even entered the pictures at a county fair as amateurs and won first prize! Got what we 'paid for', some errors happened---but we understood the pitfalls that could go wrong. Would I do it again? you bet! May have a guide line to what I wanted and didn't get--but that's on me.
A list is a very good idea. My boss at one job noticed that I liked taking pictures. When he asked if I wanted to take pictures at a work event, I asked for a list of what the company needed (they also had a pro on hand). I'm an amateur, but it worked out well and was a blast. And the food was amaaazing (I took pictures first, of course - food pics were on the list).
Oh, she could stop taking pictures during dinner. That's when she was supposed be watching their daughter so they could eat. (running around after daughter) so yeah, she was conscripted into far more than photos.
Further in the story the photographer clarifies that she wasn't just photographer during dinner - they also made her babysitter! Even worse! Not only was she denied a break or water or food, but they were pawning off new jobs that weren't even hers. 😕
I'd not have deleted them personally but I can understand the frustration. Just would have hated the loss of my own work. I don't know why people getting married so often end up so demanding, so expectant that everyone will scurry around them, and up their own arses with thinking they're special. You're getting married, not canonised. Calm down. People do it all the time and to those who work in the industry you're just the next customer. Have some respect for those you employ on the day (friends or otherwise) and they'll usually go out of their way to make your day special.
Alternatives to deleting the pictures would have been to stop taking photos at that point, and/or to just send the unedited photos to the bride and groom, and let them put in days or weeks sorting through the things and editing, cropping, and deleting them. That would have been appropriate as well. but deleting the photos on the spot sure got the message across.
Tired, hungry, hot and thirsty. Not thinking straight. Mentally rummaging through the possibilities would have been beyond me at that point.
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They openly admit they aren't a professional so this was probably never on the table anyway, but they were happy charging $25 an hour
Do you really think 25 dollars an hour is a FEE for all that work? Good grief!
But was that $250 just for the time spent taking photos, or was she also expected to spend days or weeks of her free time editing, cropping, tagging, and uploading photos for the $250?
The OP specifically said it was $250 for the 10 hour day so...
She should have kept them and held them as a bargaining chip. She should have said she would give the pictures to the groom, but at her professional rate.
The groom fired the photographer without pay. There was no contract anymore, which gave the photographer the freedom to do with the pictures whatever she liked. She chose to delete them. End of story. All this "yes, but..." leads to nothing. It is done and over. Perhaps both of them will have learned a lesson out of this.
plus she was invited so was supposed to eat and drink...
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
Yes, but then she decided to charge a semi-pro fee for taking pics (with probably zero post-processing) at which point she chose to become staff over guest
semi-pro fee? are you kidding? That's just cost coverage. semi-pro would be at least 1000.
with no regards to the money. staff needs food and water too. exception for the restaurant/waiters: these ppl are expected to eat on their own as they have the direct access to the kitchen and it is them charging you for food. they can simply charge more and eat what they cooked. but if you hire someone to take pictures or videos, a band, DJ or a professional host like it is in our country ( someone who tells ppl what to do, entertains guests with jokes, competitions etc) they all need to eat and drink and YOU as their employer have to provide it. if not anything else as a plain courtesy. I cannot imagine not to feed my photographer who was with me from 7am till midnight during my wedding
My hackles went up at "food is being served and I was told I cannot stop to eat because I need to be photographer; in fact, they didn't save me a spot at any table". My photographer was a friend who was paid full-price (they're a professional) and fed same as the guests.
He didn't even want her to take a break for water in 110F heat. That's inhuman.
That part really got me too, I just couldn't fathom being this unkind to anyone none the less a friend. I didnt even know my photographer, he was still served the same food as guests and before the wedding I asked him if he'd like a seat at a guests table or given a private table to eat dinner
My hubby and I 'hired' photography students at a tech college (hubby took a different course there) We were willing to feed them, they declined. They were not paid, we got the photos for cost. $ 300.00 (the class did 'mock' weddings for experience) Hubby just went to the class and asked if anyone wanted to have the opportunity to do a real one. The guys even entered the pictures at a county fair as amateurs and won first prize! Got what we 'paid for', some errors happened---but we understood the pitfalls that could go wrong. Would I do it again? you bet! May have a guide line to what I wanted and didn't get--but that's on me.
A list is a very good idea. My boss at one job noticed that I liked taking pictures. When he asked if I wanted to take pictures at a work event, I asked for a list of what the company needed (they also had a pro on hand). I'm an amateur, but it worked out well and was a blast. And the food was amaaazing (I took pictures first, of course - food pics were on the list).
Oh, she could stop taking pictures during dinner. That's when she was supposed be watching their daughter so they could eat. (running around after daughter) so yeah, she was conscripted into far more than photos.
Further in the story the photographer clarifies that she wasn't just photographer during dinner - they also made her babysitter! Even worse! Not only was she denied a break or water or food, but they were pawning off new jobs that weren't even hers. 😕
I'd not have deleted them personally but I can understand the frustration. Just would have hated the loss of my own work. I don't know why people getting married so often end up so demanding, so expectant that everyone will scurry around them, and up their own arses with thinking they're special. You're getting married, not canonised. Calm down. People do it all the time and to those who work in the industry you're just the next customer. Have some respect for those you employ on the day (friends or otherwise) and they'll usually go out of their way to make your day special.
Alternatives to deleting the pictures would have been to stop taking photos at that point, and/or to just send the unedited photos to the bride and groom, and let them put in days or weeks sorting through the things and editing, cropping, and deleting them. That would have been appropriate as well. but deleting the photos on the spot sure got the message across.
Tired, hungry, hot and thirsty. Not thinking straight. Mentally rummaging through the possibilities would have been beyond me at that point.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
They openly admit they aren't a professional so this was probably never on the table anyway, but they were happy charging $25 an hour
Do you really think 25 dollars an hour is a FEE for all that work? Good grief!
But was that $250 just for the time spent taking photos, or was she also expected to spend days or weeks of her free time editing, cropping, tagging, and uploading photos for the $250?
The OP specifically said it was $250 for the 10 hour day so...
She should have kept them and held them as a bargaining chip. She should have said she would give the pictures to the groom, but at her professional rate.