Hey Pandas, AITA For Giving Away My Boyfriend’s Dog After He Stopped Taking Care Of Her

Moderator’s note:

If you find yourself disagreeing with this person’s actions, we encourage you not to downvote the post. Instead, kindly express your opinions in the comments. We recommend maintaining politeness and articulating your thoughts with well-constructed arguments.

So I (25F) have been dating my boyfriend “Ryan” (32M) for almost 3 years. About a year into our relationship, Ryan adopted a golden retriever named Daisy. She was sweet, but he’s always been kind of… lazy about pet care. I ended up walking, feeding, and grooming her most of the time.

When we moved in together, he promised he’d “step up” as her owner. Spoiler: he didn’t.

Daisy became more my dog than his, but I didn’t mind – she was my baby

Golden retriever dog with a flower crown lying on grass, related to rehoming dog after abandonment story.

Image credits: Zach Shup (not the actual photo)

Then, last spring, Ryan got a new job out of town. He said it was just a temporary 3-month contract and he’d visit on weekends. He asked if I could “keep Daisy for him” during that time. Of course, I agreed.

Three months turned into six. He only visited twice, barely texted about Daisy, and stopped sending money for her food or vet bills. Meanwhile, Daisy developed allergies, and I was the one paying hundreds for medication.

When he finally came back, he acted like nothing happened. I tried to talk to him about splitting costs and responsibility, but he brushed it off – said he was “too busy catching up on life.”

A few weeks later, Daisy had an accident and tore her ACL

Road sign pointing to veterinary surgery, relating to rehoming boyfriend’s dog after abandonment for months.

Image credits: Matt Seymour (not the actual photo)

Surgery was $2,000. I called Ryan, crying, and his response was literally, “She’s your problem now. You’re the one who cares so much.”

That was my breaking point. 

I couldn’t afford surgery alone, so I posted on a local pet rescue page asking for help

Hand holding open an empty wallet with coins inside, symbolizing lack of resources while rehoming dog after abandonment.

Image credits: Immo Wegmann (not the actual photo)

Long story short, a retired vet offered to adopt Daisy, cover her medical care, and even let me visit sometimes. I cried but said yes.

A month later, Daisy was walking again, happy and healthy. Then Ryan came over and asked where she was. I told him the truth. He went ballistic – said I “gave away his dog without permission” and “stole from him.”

Now his friends are calling me cruel and heartless. My friends say I did the right thing, that Daisy’s better off. But I can’t shake the guilt – she technically was his dog, even if he neglected her.

So… AITA for rehoming my boyfriend’s dog after he abandoned her and refused to pay for her care?

Moderator’s note

Please be aware that the images used in this article are illustrative only and do not depict the actual people or events described.

If you’ve experienced something similar or have a story you’d like to share, we welcome submissions from our community, including anonymous ones. You can send your story directly to community@boredpanda.com to be shared anonymously, or upload it through our Bored Panda submission form by clicking here. We review community stories regularly, and some may be featured in upcoming posts.

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