“My Mother Started Crying And Left The Room”: Parents Kick Out 18-Year-Old Son, Then Get Upset He Doesn’t Want To Return
Moving out of your parents’ home is one of the most common signs of becoming an adult. And while it’s more of a social norm than law, most people move out because they start school in another location, or they have a job that pays well, proving them with financial stability that leads to independence. But staying with your parents is cool too, for more or less the same reasons, and there is no shame in it.
But then there are more unique situations. One such situation recently found its way onto Reddit where an 18-year-old son was specifically asked to move out once he’s old enough, but then the parents had a change of heart, but were too late, and for some reason the son’s at fault?
More Info: Reddit
Moving out is part of becoming an adult, but what do you do if your parents suddenly start asking you to move back in with them after asking you to leave?
Image credits: Fil.Al (not the actual photo)
OK, so let’s rewind. Reddit user u/Independent-Boot-789 went to the Am I The A-Hole community to get some perspective on a quite unorthodox predicament involving him moving out.
In particular, the 18-year-old’s parents always wanted to be child-free, but ended up with a son, whom they kept because of religious reasons. While they have always supported him financially, they were emotionally distant and had agreed with the son at a younger age that he was to prepare to leave them once he hit 18.
Well, one Redditor had quite a unique situation regarding moving out, which he shared with the AITA community
Image credits: Independent-Boot-789
So, fast forward to about a week before the fateful birthday, they all sit down, have a chat, during which they make sure the son isn’t leaving the nest unprepared, and the day after his birthday, he departs.
Now, instead of moving in with friends and sharing an apartment, like he originally had planned, he was offered a much better deal in a friend’s family’s furnished basement for $150, which includes utilities. He took the latter. It is important to mention that both he and the family that offered him a place to stay are all of Indian descent.
Image credits: Independent-Boot-789
OP had no contact with his parents for a while, until one day he was asked to come over for dinner. This was when the parents offered him the opportunity to move back in, rent-free and all. But he didn’t want to. You see, when he was living with them, he always felt this awkwardness at home, but now that he’s independent, he doesn’t feel that way, and he actually feels great.
So, he declined the offer, which immediately upset both of the parents. So much, in fact, that mom started crying and dad started scolding him, saying friends are distancing themselves from the family because there’s apparently a rumor that they had kicked their own son out and another Indian family took him in.
Image credits: Independent-Boot-789
The only thing he had to say is that it was exactly that, it wasn’t his concern to do damage control for something the parents decided to do, and they ought to face the consequences. And now the whole family is effectively terrorizing the 18-year-old for this.
The AITA community didn’t even have to think, they immediately knew who the a-holes were in this situation and ruled OP isn’t one.
The general consensus was that OP’s family is very wrong here, wanting to create a good image of themselves rather than actually caring for their son, let alone being willing to deal with the consequences of their own actions. It should have been something they ought to have at least considered at that point.
In the end, people ruled that OP’s family are the bad guys here, showering OP with support
Others even pointed out that moving back in won’t resolve the issue in any way, mostly because of them not caring, but also because the damage is done. All in all, the community was supportive, and OP even added an edit thanking them for it.
The post ended up going viral with over 21,100 upvotes, 60 plus Reddit awards, and nearly 1,200 comments.
You can look through the post in context here, but don’t run off just yet as we’d like to hear your ideas and opinions in the comment section below!
My dad came to me and asked when I was going to move out at 18 insinuating he was tired of my finanial burden (not the first time). Long story short, I had been having trouble with combined highschool and college classes, with severe clinical depression boardering on suicidal, and had not left the house in three months. Middle child of 7 and neither parent cared what happened with me. Eldest brother helped me find jobs that paid enough for a squallor, and I moved. My divorced mother had a fit, constantly calling to shame me since "no woman should move on her own, only into her husbands house". I didnt even date at the time, and she was normally absent in my life. I didn't realize the suffocating damage they were doing to me until I was gone. I have rarely stayed in contact since, and with years I learned how horrible they really were.
Eiram, I'm sorry you had to go through this. You must feel relieved to live somewhere else and I hope you are happy now. Hugs for you Eiram.
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American here. It was no secret that I was the "oops baby". I was asked how I was planning on supporting myself since the age of 16. I was in advanced prep classes in high school and taking additional classes at the local college. I dropped some classes and got a waitress job. Saved up as much money as I could. The day after my high school graduation I packed my car and drove 5 states away. I didn't say a word to my parents. I called a week later and dear old mom yelled at me to get home and clean her house. As she was yelling at me, I said, "goodbye, mother", and hung up. The next week I called again (to say I got a job and an apartment). Mom changed her tune. She said she missed her "little helper" and wanted me home. She didn't want her daughter, she wanted her maid. I never looked back. That is an extremely common story for Gen Xers. The Boomers have a subset called The Me Generation, they put their kids last.
Linda, I know many "Boomers" and they have always been kind and loving to their children. I'm Gen X and have always been welcome and could stay at home as long as needed. I have unfortunately, heard many stories from the USA that at 18 yo you are meant to bugger off which is cruel imo. I have heard that that idiot Dr Phil has been saying this for years that children should leave house at 18. I'm sorry you had to experience this and hope that you are happy now.
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For 8 years, I lived in a neighborhood which was predominantly Indian families. I got to know many of them well. The thing that really stuck with me was that several generations of family lived in one house. Family was priority over everything. No wonder your parents are being shamed. But first of all they let you know you weren't wanted but "had" to keep you. They were cold then made you move out right out of school. Now THEIR actions have led to being shamed, they have to face their consequences. If you move back in, it wouldn't be long until they'd kick you out again. Then maybe you wouldn't have the option you have now. I'm so glad you're happy. Their problem is their problem.
That's what's so odd about this story. It's assholish by any standards, but by the standards of Indian culture... from what I know this is just unthinkable! Especially treating a son, an only son badly, usually an only son is treated like royalty.
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My dad came to me and asked when I was going to move out at 18 insinuating he was tired of my finanial burden (not the first time). Long story short, I had been having trouble with combined highschool and college classes, with severe clinical depression boardering on suicidal, and had not left the house in three months. Middle child of 7 and neither parent cared what happened with me. Eldest brother helped me find jobs that paid enough for a squallor, and I moved. My divorced mother had a fit, constantly calling to shame me since "no woman should move on her own, only into her husbands house". I didnt even date at the time, and she was normally absent in my life. I didn't realize the suffocating damage they were doing to me until I was gone. I have rarely stayed in contact since, and with years I learned how horrible they really were.
Eiram, I'm sorry you had to go through this. You must feel relieved to live somewhere else and I hope you are happy now. Hugs for you Eiram.
Load More Replies... American here. It was no secret that I was the "oops baby". I was asked how I was planning on supporting myself since the age of 16. I was in advanced prep classes in high school and taking additional classes at the local college. I dropped some classes and got a waitress job. Saved up as much money as I could. The day after my high school graduation I packed my car and drove 5 states away. I didn't say a word to my parents. I called a week later and dear old mom yelled at me to get home and clean her house. As she was yelling at me, I said, "goodbye, mother", and hung up. The next week I called again (to say I got a job and an apartment). Mom changed her tune. She said she missed her "little helper" and wanted me home. She didn't want her daughter, she wanted her maid. I never looked back. That is an extremely common story for Gen Xers. The Boomers have a subset called The Me Generation, they put their kids last.
Linda, I know many "Boomers" and they have always been kind and loving to their children. I'm Gen X and have always been welcome and could stay at home as long as needed. I have unfortunately, heard many stories from the USA that at 18 yo you are meant to bugger off which is cruel imo. I have heard that that idiot Dr Phil has been saying this for years that children should leave house at 18. I'm sorry you had to experience this and hope that you are happy now.
Load More Replies... For 8 years, I lived in a neighborhood which was predominantly Indian families. I got to know many of them well. The thing that really stuck with me was that several generations of family lived in one house. Family was priority over everything. No wonder your parents are being shamed. But first of all they let you know you weren't wanted but "had" to keep you. They were cold then made you move out right out of school. Now THEIR actions have led to being shamed, they have to face their consequences. If you move back in, it wouldn't be long until they'd kick you out again. Then maybe you wouldn't have the option you have now. I'm so glad you're happy. Their problem is their problem.
That's what's so odd about this story. It's assholish by any standards, but by the standards of Indian culture... from what I know this is just unthinkable! Especially treating a son, an only son badly, usually an only son is treated like royalty.
Load More Replies...
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