Aita For Giving My Husband The Idea To Do Paternity Testing On His “First Born”

Hi all, I will try to make this as short as possible but there is so much more to this story. So many years ago, when I decided I’m finally going to say “yes” to dating this guy (M25 at the time), he calls me to say that he had a one-night stand with this girl (F16 at the time), and she came 3 months after saying it is his child. I then backed off because I did not want to be his second. However, he did not stop asking me out after that… I later just ignored and blocked him. However, 2 years later we saw each other again and we hung out (I was F21 at this time), he told me that the “mother of the child” took the baby at 6 months to his mother and asked to have them take care of her while she finds a place to stay…needless to say the mother never returned. instead, she went on living a new life with someone else and forgot about her own. With the stories I decided to meet the child. He’s mom and Grandmother explained to me the story and I felt deeply heartsore for this poor child, not for just that, but he’s mom, grandmom, aunts etc. were all making fun of this child in front of her about how she don’t look like him and do not have the same hair as anyone in the family and literally saying in front of the child that “you can see this is not his daughter” – I felt awful for this child. I then looked pass what I said about “I will not be your second” and knew that this child needs me. We dated; I moved in with him (F22 at the time) and his grandma said that we must take care of this child. We did! She moved in with us and the abuse stopped. We decided to have one of our own a year after, we got married. you know how the rest goes. Then all of a sudden. BOOM! The mother makes an appearance (upset that we did not teach the child that she is the mother {with no pics to even show the child}) The child called me mom in front of her and well we almost ended up fighting. We then heard by the mom’s sister that all the time since she was born, the mother has been getting state money for the baby, my husband took this to court and the money was taken away from her. He also took her to court for child maintenance since we were taking care of her. Upon each court date she returned saying she did not find a job so she can’t pay. We got tired of this in and out of court. We then left it and moved away. At the time the child was 8, the mother then lived closed to us, and we needed assistance with aftercare for her where we will cover all the expenses, she doesn’t have to give out a cent. She agreed and that worked for 3 weeks. The mother then called us for the child’s birth certificate and health clinic card, she is close to the clinic to go take her for her shot that is coming up, we were skeptical but decided to give her a chance since she is helping us now. The next day I ask my daughter, “Hi, how was the injection”, She replied by saying,” I did not go for injection, I was taken for child well-fare money”. My husband got furious and said he refuse to take off from work for court dates and do this all over again (He got unpaid leave for these days); I also got upset and told him, “Let’s do a Paternity Test, this will prevent all speculations from your family, and will know exactly where we stand with the mother. (Just to let you know the child is 8yo by this time and his family still said those words around her and about her features etc. Now since we had a letter from the previous court Judge to say that we are her sole care takers, we could take this letter for the Paternity testing without the mother. We got the results, and it came that it is not his child. My Husband was truly heartbroken that I did not even know how to console him. After a week he started to become angry with everything and everyone, making decisions that is not like him. So, we told his mother and the rest of my In-Laws, and I did not get the response that I expected. Instead, they immediately ranted and blamed it on me, saying how all of this is my fault and I forced him to do the Paternity testing and that I was selfish, you should have seen the looks I got from his brothers, their wives, father & mother. I was not welcome there for a while and even If I go today, I still get the same treatment. My Husband told the mother, where the mother could not tell her current husband or my husband who the father is (but I think she did not know who the father is). Every time when the family gets together and get drunk or some sort and the child’s name gets mentioned then I’m being the target, my husband at a time also said that the child would have still been in the best of care if I did not motivate or gave him the idea to do the Paternity testing. Since then, the child has been living with the mother, but here’s the thing, the mother has had a stable job since she found out she had to take care of the child now and paying everything that she should, and the child is being well taken care of. It took Paternity testing for the mother to really wake up. She recently turned 15 and me and my husband gave her a party. I am reaching out to this platform cause at the time I did not think that it was the wrong thing to do, however with everyone saying that it is my fault I am starting to believe it. We will be married for 11 Years this year and the blame is still going on. AITA the AH here? Please help!