Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
then open in external browser
and click "Open in External Browser" 
User submission
Hey Pandas, AITA For Feeling Like My Sister’s “Hands-Off” Parenting Went Too Far?
User SubmissionModerator’s note:
If you find yourself disagreeing with this person’s actions, we encourage you not to downvote the post. Instead, kindly express your opinions in the comments. We recommend maintaining politeness and articulating your thoughts with well-constructed arguments.
I (34F) don’t have kids – just two cats, Miso and Bean, who are basically my babies. My younger sister (29F) has a 4-year-old son, Tyler. I love my nephew, but… let’s just say my sister’s parenting style is what she calls “free-spirited” and what I’d call “mildly chaotic.”
She’s very big on “letting kids explore the world naturally.” Which, okay, fine – but her idea of that is letting Tyler play with things that absolutely shouldn’t be toys.
RELATED:
He’s “experimented” with kitchen knives, “painted” the TV with yogurt, and once “decorated” the dog with peanut butter and glitter
Image credits: Nathan Dumlao (not the actual photo)
My sister just laughs and says, “He’s learning through experience!”
Anyway, she and Tyler came to stay with me for a week because her apartment was being fumigated. I figured it’d be nice bonding time – but by day two, I was losing my mind.
She let him run around my apartment unsupervised with a screwdriver because he “wanted to fix the Wi-Fi.” He nearly poked out the screen of my monitor. I tried to gently tell her that maybe tools aren’t great toys for a preschooler, and she rolled her eyes: “You don’t get it – you don’t have kids.”
Then came the incident.
I was working from home when I heard one of my cats yowl.
I ran into the kitchen and found Tyler trying to pour Monster Energy into Bean’s water bowl
Image credits: Laura Chouette (not the actual photo)
When I shouted, he cried and said, “Mommy says energy drinks make you strong and fast! I wanted Bean to be fast like Sonic!”
My sister came in and immediately told me to “calm down.” I pointed out that energy drinks can seriously harm a cat, and she just shrugged and said, “He didn’t know any better, stop making it a big deal.”
I told her this wasn’t cute – it was dangerous, and maybe she needed to start actually setting some rules for him. That’s when she completely flipped out.
She yelled that I’m “judgmental,” “childless,” and “don’t know what it’s like to raise a kid 24/7”
Image credits: luca romano (not the actual photo)
She packed up and left that night to stay at a friend’s place, and my mom has since called to tell me I “humiliated” my sister and made her feel like a bad mother.
For the record, I didn’t yell – I just told her that giving a kid that little supervision is risky. But now the family’s divided. Half think I was right to step in, the other half says I overstepped because I “don’t have kids.”
I feel awful because I didn’t want to make her feel like a bad mom – I just didn’t want her kid or my cats to get hurt.
So, Pandas… AITA for telling my sister her parenting is dangerous after her kid tried to give my cats an energy drink?
Moderator’s note
Please be aware that the images used in this article are illustrative only and do not depict the actual people or events described.
If you’ve experienced something similar or have a story you’d like to share, we welcome submissions from our community, including anonymous ones. You can send your story directly to community@boredpanda.com to be shared anonymously, or upload it through our Bored Panda submission form by clicking here. We review community stories regularly, and some may be featured in upcoming posts.
Poll Question
Total votes ·
Thanks! Check out the results:
Total votes ·
Newsletter
Subscribe to Access
Exclusive Polls
By entering your email and clicking Subscribe, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. You are also agreeing to our Privacy Policy.
Thank you! You've successfully subscribed to newsletters!
1k+views
Share on Facebook
What do you think ?
Heffalump 3 weeks ago
This kind of free-range child rearing is just post-rationalised parental laziness.
Vinnie 3 weeks ago
"don’t know what it’s like to raise a kid 24/7" - and neither does the lady who provides the bare necessities.
Load More Replies...
FreeDragon 3 weeks ago
"I feel awful because I didn’t want to make her feel like a bad mom". You didn't make her feel like a bad mom, you just made it clear she was a bad one. And a pretty entitled one as well. “You don’t get it – you don’t have kids.” Really?
Tabitha 3 weeks ago (edited)
TBH, sister fully deserves to feel like a bad mom. Let it be her wake up call to get up off her a*s and do better. The relatives who are defending her and trashing OP for it aren’t doing her or her kid any favors.
Load More Replies...
Ace 3 weeks ago
A I living in a different world? Regardless of the cats. surely it's not acceptable to let a 4 year old have caffeinated energy drinks anyway?
Janissary35680 3 weeks ago
Now I'm wondering if Tyler is in any way responsible for their apartment needing fumigation. 🦟🐜🪲🐝🐛
KatSaidThat 3 weeks ago
Amazing how if you don't have kids you don't understand them. Sure, except I was a kid with older and younger siblings. Running around with a screwdriver and damaging property and then trying to poison the cat with energy drinks I have understood from a very young age to be rewarded with punishment.
FreeTheUnicorn 3 weeks ago
The child couldn't know better but the adult does, so this is on her Supervise you kid. Keep him from doing harm
Binky Melnik 3 weeks ago
I disagree that this adult knows better. I’m not sure the adult knows anything useful at all.
Load More Replies...
E Henry Todd 3 weeks ago
I think it situations like this we need to acknowledge that she sounds like a terrible parent.
Katharina Sei. 3 weeks ago
Actions have consequences. It is the responsibility of parents or guardians to teach this to their children. There are various ways to do this. As a rule, it is rather inefficient and destructive to teach children this by letting them try everything out for themselves.
Tyke 3 weeks ago
She felt like a bad mother because she is a bad mother. By that age kids can learn not to fùck with pet - ask first if you can pet them, learn the signs to back off, don't poison them. Perhaps sister would like to pay the vet fees? She's doing the Darwin style of parenting, that kid won't survive for long.
Tabitha 3 weeks ago (edited)
“He doesn’t know any better”. Well, FFS Mom, YOUR JOB is the TEACH HIM BETTER! That’s what being a parent is, teaching your children right from wrong so they can function in society, around other people, around animals, around things that do not belong to them. OP’s sister is one of the lazy parents who think kids can just figure it all out on their own. Humans aren’t born instinctively knowing how to survive. We are helpless and clueless and need to learn how to navigate the world. That’s why humans don’t just dump our babies and leave them on their own, like some animals do. That is where true parenting comes in, to care for and teach our kids, so that once they achieve adulthood they know how to survive what can be a very tough and unforgiving world that ain’t their mama, doesn’t love them, and won’t make excuses and exceptions for them. There are generations coming up who I really feel sorry for, as their parents failed them miserably by raising them with OP’s sister’s philosophy for raising children, and all the other trendy variations that are also doomed to fail them.
Beth Wheeler 3 weeks ago
NTA. The sister is an idiot and needs to start clamping (not the word I'm looking for) down on that kid. Don't let the kid run around with knives and tools, smearing stuff all over the TV or anything else. The little boy is gonna hurt himself. somebody else or somebody's pet. It's amazing at how stupid and lazy some parents are.
Somebodys grandmother 3 weeks ago (edited)
She is a bad mum. She needs to get up and teach him how to behave, learn him to play and not hurt him self and everybody around him... His is a disaster waiting to happend
wobbly jelly 3 weeks ago
Offer the kid a pack of smokes, a lighter, a few beers and maybe a handgun - it's all experimenting
Binky Melnik 3 weeks ago
Don’t forget the narcotics, too! That’ll learn her REAL quick.
Load More Replies...
Spittnimage 3 weeks ago
Free spirited parenting means parent doesn't want to bother teaching the kid right from wrong.
Kelly Scott 3 weeks ago
Your kids messing with my pets is where I draw the line. If you can't keep them under control, yes, you will be called a bad parent and shown the door. No exceptions.
Wysteria_Rose 3 weeks ago
You are well within your right of it being YOUR home and YOUR pets who would be affected by her child's behavior. Make it very clear that, yes, it's HER child, but it's YOUR home and boundaries need to be in place. If she won't respect that, then she can always stay elsewhere and your visits with your nephew can be somewhere public and not where your fur babies or belongings are at risk. She's going to learn but it doesn't have to be in your space.
Crystalwitch60 3 weeks ago (edited)
Erm this freak little brat needs PARENTING FFS really an engergy drink at 4 oh hell to the f right off NO , SCREWDRIVERS NO CONTROL CPS PLEASE preferably before this brat hurts himself and or someone else 🤬as for her yelling ,you got no kids u don’t got a clue NEITHER HAS SHE !!! Not one single f kin iota of a clue ,op NTA but your sis n your family are dangerous raising a monster !!
FreeTheUnicorn 3 weeks ago
There's no learning from experience if you don't teach them right from wrong. It's just yogurt on the TV if there's no don't do that and consequences if you do
Anne Roberts 2 weeks ago
I tried to raise my children to be good, responsible people. They experimented with many things WITH my supervision - always! I wanted them to go out in the world so that other people will enjoy (or at least not dread) being around them. Not everyone will love a child's personality and/or behavior the way their parents do.
Shoopyfloop Roundbird 3 weeks ago
4 year old drinks energy drink. Can we take a moment with that please? Terrible for adults but basically crack to a toddler so yeah no wonder the child is "spirited" And if you come over and destroy my hime and endager my pets i am 100% going to say something to you. Bye felicia
Heffalump 3 weeks ago
This kind of free-range child rearing is just post-rationalised parental laziness.
Vinnie 3 weeks ago
"don’t know what it’s like to raise a kid 24/7" - and neither does the lady who provides the bare necessities.
Load More Replies... FreeDragon 3 weeks ago
"I feel awful because I didn’t want to make her feel like a bad mom". You didn't make her feel like a bad mom, you just made it clear she was a bad one. And a pretty entitled one as well. “You don’t get it – you don’t have kids.” Really?
Tabitha 3 weeks ago (edited)
TBH, sister fully deserves to feel like a bad mom. Let it be her wake up call to get up off her a*s and do better. The relatives who are defending her and trashing OP for it aren’t doing her or her kid any favors.
Load More Replies... Ace 3 weeks ago
A I living in a different world? Regardless of the cats. surely it's not acceptable to let a 4 year old have caffeinated energy drinks anyway?
Janissary35680 3 weeks ago
Now I'm wondering if Tyler is in any way responsible for their apartment needing fumigation. 🦟🐜🪲🐝🐛
KatSaidThat 3 weeks ago
Amazing how if you don't have kids you don't understand them. Sure, except I was a kid with older and younger siblings. Running around with a screwdriver and damaging property and then trying to poison the cat with energy drinks I have understood from a very young age to be rewarded with punishment.
FreeTheUnicorn 3 weeks ago
The child couldn't know better but the adult does, so this is on her Supervise you kid. Keep him from doing harm
Binky Melnik 3 weeks ago
I disagree that this adult knows better. I’m not sure the adult knows anything useful at all.
Load More Replies... E Henry Todd 3 weeks ago
I think it situations like this we need to acknowledge that she sounds like a terrible parent.
Katharina Sei. 3 weeks ago
Actions have consequences. It is the responsibility of parents or guardians to teach this to their children. There are various ways to do this. As a rule, it is rather inefficient and destructive to teach children this by letting them try everything out for themselves.
Tyke 3 weeks ago
She felt like a bad mother because she is a bad mother. By that age kids can learn not to fùck with pet - ask first if you can pet them, learn the signs to back off, don't poison them. Perhaps sister would like to pay the vet fees? She's doing the Darwin style of parenting, that kid won't survive for long.
Tabitha 3 weeks ago (edited)
“He doesn’t know any better”. Well, FFS Mom, YOUR JOB is the TEACH HIM BETTER! That’s what being a parent is, teaching your children right from wrong so they can function in society, around other people, around animals, around things that do not belong to them. OP’s sister is one of the lazy parents who think kids can just figure it all out on their own. Humans aren’t born instinctively knowing how to survive. We are helpless and clueless and need to learn how to navigate the world. That’s why humans don’t just dump our babies and leave them on their own, like some animals do. That is where true parenting comes in, to care for and teach our kids, so that once they achieve adulthood they know how to survive what can be a very tough and unforgiving world that ain’t their mama, doesn’t love them, and won’t make excuses and exceptions for them. There are generations coming up who I really feel sorry for, as their parents failed them miserably by raising them with OP’s sister’s philosophy for raising children, and all the other trendy variations that are also doomed to fail them.
Beth Wheeler 3 weeks ago
NTA. The sister is an idiot and needs to start clamping (not the word I'm looking for) down on that kid. Don't let the kid run around with knives and tools, smearing stuff all over the TV or anything else. The little boy is gonna hurt himself. somebody else or somebody's pet. It's amazing at how stupid and lazy some parents are.
Somebodys grandmother 3 weeks ago (edited)
She is a bad mum. She needs to get up and teach him how to behave, learn him to play and not hurt him self and everybody around him... His is a disaster waiting to happend
wobbly jelly 3 weeks ago
Offer the kid a pack of smokes, a lighter, a few beers and maybe a handgun - it's all experimenting
Binky Melnik 3 weeks ago
Don’t forget the narcotics, too! That’ll learn her REAL quick.
Load More Replies... Spittnimage 3 weeks ago
Free spirited parenting means parent doesn't want to bother teaching the kid right from wrong.
Kelly Scott 3 weeks ago
Your kids messing with my pets is where I draw the line. If you can't keep them under control, yes, you will be called a bad parent and shown the door. No exceptions.
Wysteria_Rose 3 weeks ago
You are well within your right of it being YOUR home and YOUR pets who would be affected by her child's behavior. Make it very clear that, yes, it's HER child, but it's YOUR home and boundaries need to be in place. If she won't respect that, then she can always stay elsewhere and your visits with your nephew can be somewhere public and not where your fur babies or belongings are at risk. She's going to learn but it doesn't have to be in your space.
Crystalwitch60 3 weeks ago (edited)
Erm this freak little brat needs PARENTING FFS really an engergy drink at 4 oh hell to the f right off NO , SCREWDRIVERS NO CONTROL CPS PLEASE preferably before this brat hurts himself and or someone else 🤬as for her yelling ,you got no kids u don’t got a clue NEITHER HAS SHE !!! Not one single f kin iota of a clue ,op NTA but your sis n your family are dangerous raising a monster !!
FreeTheUnicorn 3 weeks ago
There's no learning from experience if you don't teach them right from wrong. It's just yogurt on the TV if there's no don't do that and consequences if you do
Anne Roberts 2 weeks ago
I tried to raise my children to be good, responsible people. They experimented with many things WITH my supervision - always! I wanted them to go out in the world so that other people will enjoy (or at least not dread) being around them. Not everyone will love a child's personality and/or behavior the way their parents do.
Shoopyfloop Roundbird 3 weeks ago
4 year old drinks energy drink. Can we take a moment with that please? Terrible for adults but basically crack to a toddler so yeah no wonder the child is "spirited" And if you come over and destroy my hime and endager my pets i am 100% going to say something to you. Bye felicia
You May Like Parents Share The Moments They Realized Their Kids Might Be Horrible People (35 Posts) Parent Wonders How Bad They Messed Up After Hysterically Laughing At Son’s Entitlement 17YO Refuses To Meet His Siblings As Parents Abandoned Him 17 Years Ago, Family Drama Escalates
Indrė Lukošiūtė
Justinas Keturka
Monika Pašukonytė
Related on Bored Panda
28
48