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These Safety Tips From A Former Secret Service Agent Go Viral And Start An Important Discussion
Recently, Twitter user Ryanne quoted a TikTok, saying “men never ask for help.” This bold statement immediately started a heated discussion, and some of its participants began looking for the author of the message.
People eventually came to an agreement that it was Lauren, aka Cardy Couture Boutique. She has posted numerous videos, sharing advice on safety from her dad, a former member of the Secret Service.
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This tweet started a heated discussion on women safety
Image credits: ryanneashleigh
So to get more information, its participants began looking for the TikTok that inspired it
@cardy_couture_boutiqueYour Welcome #BiggerIsBetter#DontSweatIt#inspirational#ShowerWithMoxie#virAl#fyp#marchmadness#momtok#qoutes#poster♬ A Thousand Miles – Vanessa Carlton
Women definitely need to stay alert. A sexual assaulter can be any kind of person. These words shouldn’t make everyone scared of everyone else; rather, they just mean that there isn’t one specific type who commits such kinds of crimes.
At least that is what Dr. Samuel D. Smithyman, a US clinical psychologist, learned when he anonymously interviewed 50 men back in the 1970s who had confessed to having raped someone.
These men had diverse backgrounds and social statuses as well as different personalities and mentalities. What really surprised Smithyman was how unconcerned they sounded when talking about such a criminal offense.
The motives that push a person to rape someone vary and are difficult to quantify. However, studies show that rapists have some common characteristics, including a lack of empathy, narcissism, and feelings of hostility towards women.
They came to an agreement that it belongs to Lauren, aka Cardy Couture Boutique
And she has a whole series dedicated to this important topic
The videos have a combined view count of nearly 2 million
@cardy_couture_boutiqueYou asked I delivered #RayBanElevatorDance#PlantersTrickShot#BiggerIsBetter#DontSweatIt#inspirational#viral#fypdong♬ A Thousand Miles – Vanessa Carlton
Lauren’s dad really knows what he’s talking about. Special Agents are men and women of the highest caliber, performing critical protective and investigative assignments. During their careers, Special Agents may be assigned to multiple duty stations throughout the United States and abroad with responsibilities that include: protecting various protectees, conducting criminal investigations pertaining to financial obligations of the United States, and planning and implementing security designs for National Special Security Events.
And Lauren believes her dad’s advice have already saved her life
@cardy_couture_boutiqueWill explain the last one in another video#FindYourCore#RayBanElevatorDance#GodzillaVsKongRoar#inspirationalquotes#SourPatchPrankFund#fyp#viral♬ A Thousand Miles – Vanessa Carlton
Some men have been questioning the application of these tips
Image credits: khai_fadzli
Image credits: KingJB27
Image credits: ayy_its_daniele
Image credits: AutieNorthern
While women have been sharing stories, proving they can be more valuable than they seem at first
Image credits: Kimistry_D
Image credits: scarah72
Image credits: CarlaBarokas
Image credits: mshelejones
Image credits: youngganddopee
Image credits: barely_a_spec
Image credits: mamabigdog
Image credits: ariedoitbetter
Image credits: randimeredith
Image credits: TheFatsyCline
Image credits: TheFatsyCline
Image credits: migikun12
Image credits: NDNbadbitch
Image credits: Daezi7
Image credits: SankySmith_
What do you think ?
Rick Seiden 4 years ago
I hate this post with every fiber of my body. It is so wrong that women have to live in fear like this. It's so wrong that there are such evil men in this world. It's just so much wrong, and so much pain, and so much fear. I hate it all. And, as a white man in the US, I am sorry that women have to live in fear. I am sorry that so many men are out there attacking women. I am sorry that you all have to go through this on a daily basis. I'm sorry.
N G 4 years ago
As with so many things, condensing advice into headlines means important context and nuance is lost. If a man has the opportunity to ask another man for help, he should, but if the help required is clearly genuine (someone is bleeding, or there is a fire) that shouldn't stop him asking a woman for help if she's the only other person available - ask her to use her phone to call EMS. If he specifically targets a woman to ask for help, it's a red flag.
Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
Just ask from a safe distance, e.g., 4-5 meteres, "Excuse me? I need ..... Can you please help me?" and do not approach the other person. Any other situation, I was taught, is potential danger. By my dad, btw.
Viviane 4 years ago
When my indoor cat took off, I did ask some kids playing outside if they had seen her (kids are more likely to notice animals than adults are). However, I did not ask for help looking for her -- that would be irresponsible. I found my cat (thanks, kids).
Load More Replies...
Paul Davis 4 years ago (edited)
"When a man asks you for help you better run". So this is why I can't get any service at the stores I shop at.
Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
I'm asked for help every flippin' day. By men, women, and whatever in between, and just be polite and keep a polite distance, and nobody has to freak out, y'know? *sigh*
Load More Replies... StrawberryParfait 4 years ago
So many salty male tears. Like it or not, this is the world you have created for women, fellas. These are all great tips. Ignore all the men trying to make it about them, as usual, and follow these tips, ladies. Our kind and helpful natures can oftentimes work against us. Put your own safety first. You will never regret it, but you may very well come to regret being "nice" at the wrong moment.
Nikki Sevven 4 years ago
Men are not the only ones who created this world. Women telling their sons to "man up" and "don't cry" and other things helped create toxic masculinity. And it will take all of us to solve this problem. Being divisive certainly won't help.
Load More Replies...
Beatrice Multhaupt 4 years ago
I totally respect your efforts to keep women safe but.... I was walking in a large unkempt public park when I spotted a guy who somehow looked strange. I started thinking, ''I hope he doesn't approach me with a request''. Sure enough, he asked where he could find a priest (!) Turned out his mother had just died in his apartment (no airconditionning) . City sanitation said they,d pick up the body but he would have to do without religious ceremony. The guy was so visibly out of it that I walked him over to the university chaplain's house and ruined the end-of-semester barbecue party. The trouble with police and secret service is that they are trained to react by rote to emergencies where there is no time to think. I saw this fellow walking towards me (not behind!) and I KNEW.
Mimi M 4 years ago (edited)
First lesson of The Gift of Fear (classic on safety): Listen to your gut and trust it. Good for you.
Load More Replies... Al Jones 4 years ago
Telling women that men don't ask for help is telling men they *shouldn't* ask for help. As a victim of a pretty nasty attack in which my phone was stolen and I really needed help, this kind of statement is frightening. Be careful and have your wits about you but for goodness sake, men sometimes need help!
Lina Ballerina 4 years ago
Sorry rather you go get help by a man than me take the chances of helping you and being kidnapped, raped and even murdered. Again, if you’re angry at this statement direct the anger at your fellow man.. we didn’t create this fear / reality… the men who rape is did…
Load More Replies...
Debbie 4 years ago
Awareness is good, but it creates a huge divide. It focuses on negativity, lots of negative emotions, thoughts, feelings attached. Spread positivity, not fear. I'd say, trust your instinct above all. A guy with a cast on his arm can need help. And EVERYONE should be able to ask for help. You can't see all injuries, disabilities from the outside. I'm getting a bit tired of this fear culture rising more and more here. Maybe because I don't live in constant fear like it seems the USA does? More positive stories (and not "how I survived an attack" or "rescued abandoned puppies" ) As there is a very strong negative thing to it. Stories about dancing in the street. Stories about crazy postitive stuff with no other incentive then that. Like just dancing in the streets because dancing and music is so wholesome.
Random Panda 4 years ago (edited)
I agree. Men asking for help shouldn't be this much of an issue. It can raise red flags if they are trying to lead you away to a secluded place, but it can also be a woman doing this and lead you to a place where her partner(s) are waiting. It's not a black and white thing, you need to be smart, not paranoid of one gender.
Load More Replies...
Deal _Anneal 4 years ago
Bruh this article is sooo toxic and stereotypical like we are all humans after all.......
StrawberryParfait 4 years ago
Bruh, male violence against women is soooo much a real thing. Too bad all the men beating, raping, kidnapping , and trafficking us don't realize that women are human after all...
Load More Replies...
Mimi M 4 years ago
Forget the 'four right turns'. If you think you are being followed, go into a public place.
Nikki Sevven 4 years ago
I can't even remember the last time I saw a pay phone. Better to drive right to the local police station.
Load More Replies...
Rick Seiden 4 years ago
I hate this post with every fiber of my body. It is so wrong that women have to live in fear like this. It's so wrong that there are such evil men in this world. It's just so much wrong, and so much pain, and so much fear. I hate it all. And, as a white man in the US, I am sorry that women have to live in fear. I am sorry that so many men are out there attacking women. I am sorry that you all have to go through this on a daily basis. I'm sorry.
N G 4 years ago
As with so many things, condensing advice into headlines means important context and nuance is lost. If a man has the opportunity to ask another man for help, he should, but if the help required is clearly genuine (someone is bleeding, or there is a fire) that shouldn't stop him asking a woman for help if she's the only other person available - ask her to use her phone to call EMS. If he specifically targets a woman to ask for help, it's a red flag.
Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
Just ask from a safe distance, e.g., 4-5 meteres, "Excuse me? I need ..... Can you please help me?" and do not approach the other person. Any other situation, I was taught, is potential danger. By my dad, btw.
Viviane 4 years ago
When my indoor cat took off, I did ask some kids playing outside if they had seen her (kids are more likely to notice animals than adults are). However, I did not ask for help looking for her -- that would be irresponsible. I found my cat (thanks, kids).
Load More Replies... Paul Davis 4 years ago (edited)
"When a man asks you for help you better run". So this is why I can't get any service at the stores I shop at.
Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
I'm asked for help every flippin' day. By men, women, and whatever in between, and just be polite and keep a polite distance, and nobody has to freak out, y'know? *sigh*
Load More Replies... StrawberryParfait 4 years ago
So many salty male tears. Like it or not, this is the world you have created for women, fellas. These are all great tips. Ignore all the men trying to make it about them, as usual, and follow these tips, ladies. Our kind and helpful natures can oftentimes work against us. Put your own safety first. You will never regret it, but you may very well come to regret being "nice" at the wrong moment.
Nikki Sevven 4 years ago
Men are not the only ones who created this world. Women telling their sons to "man up" and "don't cry" and other things helped create toxic masculinity. And it will take all of us to solve this problem. Being divisive certainly won't help.
Load More Replies... Beatrice Multhaupt 4 years ago
I totally respect your efforts to keep women safe but.... I was walking in a large unkempt public park when I spotted a guy who somehow looked strange. I started thinking, ''I hope he doesn't approach me with a request''. Sure enough, he asked where he could find a priest (!) Turned out his mother had just died in his apartment (no airconditionning) . City sanitation said they,d pick up the body but he would have to do without religious ceremony. The guy was so visibly out of it that I walked him over to the university chaplain's house and ruined the end-of-semester barbecue party. The trouble with police and secret service is that they are trained to react by rote to emergencies where there is no time to think. I saw this fellow walking towards me (not behind!) and I KNEW.
Mimi M 4 years ago (edited)
First lesson of The Gift of Fear (classic on safety): Listen to your gut and trust it. Good for you.
Load More Replies... Al Jones 4 years ago
Telling women that men don't ask for help is telling men they *shouldn't* ask for help. As a victim of a pretty nasty attack in which my phone was stolen and I really needed help, this kind of statement is frightening. Be careful and have your wits about you but for goodness sake, men sometimes need help!
Lina Ballerina 4 years ago
Sorry rather you go get help by a man than me take the chances of helping you and being kidnapped, raped and even murdered. Again, if you’re angry at this statement direct the anger at your fellow man.. we didn’t create this fear / reality… the men who rape is did…
Load More Replies... Debbie 4 years ago
Awareness is good, but it creates a huge divide. It focuses on negativity, lots of negative emotions, thoughts, feelings attached. Spread positivity, not fear. I'd say, trust your instinct above all. A guy with a cast on his arm can need help. And EVERYONE should be able to ask for help. You can't see all injuries, disabilities from the outside. I'm getting a bit tired of this fear culture rising more and more here. Maybe because I don't live in constant fear like it seems the USA does? More positive stories (and not "how I survived an attack" or "rescued abandoned puppies" ) As there is a very strong negative thing to it. Stories about dancing in the street. Stories about crazy postitive stuff with no other incentive then that. Like just dancing in the streets because dancing and music is so wholesome.
Random Panda 4 years ago (edited)
I agree. Men asking for help shouldn't be this much of an issue. It can raise red flags if they are trying to lead you away to a secluded place, but it can also be a woman doing this and lead you to a place where her partner(s) are waiting. It's not a black and white thing, you need to be smart, not paranoid of one gender.
Load More Replies... Deal _Anneal 4 years ago
Bruh this article is sooo toxic and stereotypical like we are all humans after all.......
StrawberryParfait 4 years ago
Bruh, male violence against women is soooo much a real thing. Too bad all the men beating, raping, kidnapping , and trafficking us don't realize that women are human after all...
Load More Replies... Mimi M 4 years ago
Forget the 'four right turns'. If you think you are being followed, go into a public place.
Nikki Sevven 4 years ago
I can't even remember the last time I saw a pay phone. Better to drive right to the local police station.
Load More Replies...
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