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328
Woman Terminates Pregnancy After Fiancé Cheats, He Is Absolutely Stunned That She Would Dare To
Interview With AuthorCheating can completely turn a relationship upside down. It’s scary to imagine, but around 16% of married couples admit to having an affair at some point. The infidelity can change everything and bring to light some serious issues in the marriage that both partners could never imagine.
A woman found herself in the same position when she got pregnant. She was just going to reveal it to her fiancé when he admitted to cheating. The news was so devastating that she had to make one of the hardest decisions about her pregnancy.
More info: Reddit
RELATED:
Fiancée who got cheated on decided to end her pregnancy instead of struggling as a single mom and having to manage joint custody with the ex who broke her heart
Image credits: Alex Green (not the actual photo)
The woman and her BF were high school sweethearts who had been together for 7 years, one day he brought his mistress to their house and said they had been having an affair for a year
Image credits: Tima Miroshnichenko (not the actual photo)
The heartbroken poster, who was pregnant, revealed that after he admitted to cheating, she realized that she did not want to co-parent or be a single mom
Image credits: Eren Li (not the actual photo)
A few days later, she terminated the pregnancy and let him know about it, but he was enraged since he had always wanted kids, and his mean words made her feel like a jerk
Image credits: u/Gummytoeswithcream
She explained that even though she felt selfish for her actions, the thought of having a baby alone would have made her unhappy, especially after he broke her heart
The grief-stricken poster was vulnerable enough to share what was probably one of the most difficult situations of her life. She revealed that she and her fiancé had been together for 7 years. During their relationship, he had been cheating with another woman for over a year. He even had the audacity to bring his mistress to their house and break the news to the poster.
The unfortunate part was not just that her relationship had ended, it was also that she was pregnant. She had not told him the news, but when he revealed the affair, she realized that she did not want to have the baby. She had never been that interested in the idea of having kids, unlike him. So, she broke the news to him and terminated the pregnancy a few days later.
Bored Panda reached out to the post’s author, u/Gummytoeswithcream, to understand how she was coping with the decision. She said, “I do not think I will regret it. It’s been around a month, and I don’t really miss the potential child. Maybe I will regret it in the future, but it just doesn’t seem that as of now. I have been feeling pretty neutral, like truthfully I just feel like everything said and done has not happened.”
She added, “I feel like everything has happened really fast, and I’m not realizing why I am not crying or angry or anything. I’m just doing what I do. Wake up, breakfast, brush my teeth, shower, get ready for work, lunch break, leave work, go home, dinner, shower, then sleep.”
This is an incredibly tough decision to make. According to the WHO, there are nearly 73 million pregnancy terminations that happen every year. It’s a physically and mentally challenging option that nobody chooses lightly. Some netizens were enraged by the woman’s decision, and she clarified that she did not do it out of revenge.
She told commenters, “I didn’t [end the pregnancy] to get back at him because I hate kids and he should be punished or something. I did it because I didn’t want to ruin that kid’s life and mine. I would not love that baby and as controversial as it sounds, I would probably do some things that I wouldn’t be proud of if I had them. No one but him and maybe his girlfriend knows about it.”
Image credits: Keira Burton (not the actual photo)
When she informed her ex-fiancé about her decision, he blew up at her. He had always wanted a big family, and even though he had cheated, he expected her to go ahead with the pregnancy. He couldn’t believe she would have gone ahead with the termination without checking with him first. But, the woman stated again that she barely liked kids, and the idea of having the baby of the man who cheated on her did not make sense.
We asked the author if her ex had contacted her and what he had to say. She said: “In short, he emailed me, he nitpicked my looks and the form of my chest and behind size, and he went on about if I did not have [a pregnancy termination], he would have considered dating me again or even getting married.”
Despite the man’s reaction and some mean words from commenters, the woman was firm with her choice. Research found that women who went through with the termination of pregnancy experienced less anxiety than those who were denied the option. Another survey showed that of 226 women who ended their pregnancy, 33% who wanted to do it experienced positive mental health gains after it happened. Of the remaining women, 60% said they would have preferred to give birth if they had more support from the people in their lives.
Emotional and social support is so important when someone chooses to end their pregnancy. This is because the decision comes with a whole host of emotional and physical side effects that are difficult to deal with all alone. As the woman had mentioned, she didn’t want kids but didn’t mind them either, and if the man hadn’t cheated, she would have probably had the baby. But knowing the future that lay ahead of her, she decided to make this hard choice.
It’s nobody else’s place to tell the woman what she should or shouldn’t have done. Though the situation was extremely complicated, the man had no right to get angry with her because he had been having an affair. The woman said she would share an update on her situation after a while. We hope she’s in a better mental space now.
Do you agree with how the poster handled the situation? What are your thoughts?
Most netizens sided with the woman and told her that she definitely dodged a bullet judging by her ex’s behavior
What do you think ?
KatSaidWhat 1 year ago
It's not pro-life, it's anti-women's rights. My body, my choice. I terminated because 1) it was accidental, 2) I was very irresponsible back then, and 3) it was ectopic in first month already. Do I regret it? No, I never wanted kids anyway. This guy cheated on OP, rubbed her face in it hard then tried to make a decision about how her life is going to go? Nah, Felicia, GTFO and take your new bit with you.
Fox with a Dragon Tattoo 1 year ago
The hard right forced birth cult, once again attacking women. Thats all it does. Pure. Evil.
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Crouching hippo hidden panda 1 year ago
And a lifelong commitment too, kids are hard work, let alone ones you didn’t truly want or that connect you to an AH ex
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Ryan-James O'Driscoll 1 year ago
He didn't consult her before he started f***ing someone else, so does not get to make himself a victim. Hard to say of it was the right choice. Only time will tell on that one and she will know. But it was her choice.
Tabitha 1 year ago (edited)
OP assessed the situation and decided that having a baby, especially with someone who isn't going to be around (and I bet will be a pain in the a*s to track down for support payments) to actively be a part of the child's life, was not in the cards right now. She made it a clean break, so they can each go their separate ways with nothing tying them together. Men, unless you are going to either be there to co-raise YOUR child with the child's mother OR you are going to be a very very generous check in the mail every month, you get no say in the woman's decision whether to keep your child or not. Also, and most importantly, it does NOT make you more of a man to be a deadbeat baby daddy, with kids all over the place that you are not lifting a finger or paying a dime to raise. Babies are not trophies or badges of manliness, they are PEOPLE who deserve to have a decent childhood, not one with some man who shows up once in a while and says he's their father, then disappears again for who knows how long. Get your heads out of your asses, man up, and either understand if a woman does not want to keep a baby you accidentally donated sperm to make, or if she does keep the child, f*****g BE THERE taking an active role in raising a child who shares your DNA, ffs!
DC 1 year ago
I don't really get how he finds something to complain about. With him telling her he cheated, their relationship was, basically, over. So, as they weren't a couple, his opinion on that matter doesn't bear any relevance. That might look different with an involved father, but as he isn't, nor seems to have wanted to be one, nor any sign indicating so, any right that his take on it may be considered is down the drain already anyway ... and the final say, if a COUPLE can't agree, due to the more significant impact it has on her, is hers anyway. Ejaculating, really, isn't that hard a work to do, it's rather just a normal bodily function.
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Guy-Incognito 1 year ago
Brought the gf with him?! Wtf. Nobody should have kids with a monster like this.
Lyoness 1 year ago
What a horrific decision to have to make. Anyone who judges this woman needs to remember that it's her uterus and she gets to decide what to do with it. Stay out of our bodies unless we invite you in.
Roman Hans 1 year ago
That's a great line. Sigh: it's terrific to see how cool some people are, & temporarily forget how f**cked America is right now.
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notlikeyou1971 1 year ago
Hon,you shouldn't feel guilty because you did absolutely nothing wrong. You are your own person. Truthfully you weren't ready for a baby. Even more you didn't want to see a reminder of your cheating ex for the rest of your life. You knew you couldn't handle a child by yourself and didn't have to tell or get his permission for anything. You were the one who was going to have to do all the work carrying a baby( being pregnant and living with the possible health issues and complications),taking care of and paying for it( no guarantees he will, a lot become deadbeats) working and supporting yourself and this kid. Seems like you really didn't want a baby in the 1st place and only did it for him. You did yourself and the child a favor. At least you were honest with yourself. Besides he didn't give you a say in him messing with another person. It's your choice and your body. I know you were realistic not spiteful. Until the day this man can get pregnant and give birth himself he can STFU and if he wants a kid so bad let him play house with his new mate
Aline 1 year ago
Good for OP, don't bring a small human into a terrible situation if you don't have to. Don't put them in the middle of an awful parental dynamic. Don't ruin your own life because your ex has a hang up about sperm. You couldn't trust him to be a husband, why trust him to be a father and co parent? This is the best decision for everyone, adults and zygote alike.
Ouss Ben Aziza 1 year ago
Empathically f**k that guy and anyone like him. Cheating and being entitled is a very VERY disgusting combo. Logically he has no claim on the baby he is not the one carrying it for 9 months. Also why bring one into a dysfunctional family already?
Janelle Collard 1 year ago (edited)
Oh right: I'm gonna go thru 9 mths of pregnancy, labor + raise a kid on my own, cuz AH decided I wasn't good enough. Nope! Not even. Personally, I wouldn't have told him about the abortion so I'd never have to talk to him again. I would've let him draw his own conclusions as to why there was no kid.
Maiko Dancer 1 year ago
i've had an abortion because it was the right thing for me at the time. It was my body, so no one needed to know or comment on it. Although i did feel guilt over it i still say it was the only correct thing for me to have done at the time. my life would be completely different. You did what was best for you, We're both lucky we still had that choice.
Anne Home 1 year ago
I had one also, and it was absolutely the right decision! R
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Joey Jo Jo Shabadoo 1 year ago
$10 says the same people sending OP hateful messages are the same kind of people who criticize single mothers with deadbeat baby daddies.
Fox with a Dragon Tattoo 1 year ago
I feel so bad for her, the guilt she feels is proof his twisted gaslighting worked.
MR 1 year ago
I mean, it seems pretty reasonable to not have a child with someone who cheated on you and would use it as a means to be in your life forever. Yeah, the colleratal damage sucks, but it's so early in the process, it's not that big a deal. And now you can make a clean break and not need to look back. This was an insanely healthy move. The fact that she didn't really want kids to begin with just makes it an even smarter decision.
Max Fox 1 year ago
It's NOT "a baby", it's "a fetus". It was also in the early stages of the pregnancy, since she hadn't yet told him. So actually, not even a fetus, but an embryo. So it barely has the early stages of organs, and nothing like a brain or nervous system. It may even have only been a blastocyst, so just a mass of cells. It was never "a baby", and calling it a "a baby" is typical anti-choice and misogynistic propaganda, aimed at making women feel like that this mass of cells is a "person" with the same rights as the mother has.
Cathleen Cummings 1 year ago
This woman did the right thing! The cheating, lying M**o can rot in hell and/or have kids with his side piece. she is NTA x 10000000
Joy DSouza 1 year ago
I'm sorry about the hard choices you're having to make. This is your life, your choic s, please do not give anyone the right to make you feel good or bad. It's already a tough decision that you will live with for the rest of your life. Each one of us does things we regret or wish it was not so. Children are a blessing when you want them, if not they suffer. Just be blessed, forgiveness and love for yourself. God still loves you!
Janet Floyd 1 year ago
YOU sound like a good Christian. Not the hypocritical ones that I hear too often. I'd probably go to church if more Christians were like you.
Load More Replies... Liz The Biz 1 year ago
I don't blame her. Men like him who can't keep it in their pants rarely change. Women from all walks of life have abortions for all kinds of different reasons. It's never a decision that is made lightly and nobody has the right to judge.
Ephemera Image 1 year ago
She had every right to terminate a pregnancy that he was willing to let her carry alone, and parent, again alone, even if he did any co-parenting I doubt very much the new GF would be welcoming that kid into their home, especially as a baby. And she would be tied to him for the next eighteen years or more!So his selfish expectation was that she would carry all the work, because it's HIS PRECIOUS SEED! The ego is palpable. She dodged a nuclear event!
Zelda McLink 1 year ago
Imagine having to co parent with that soggy sack of c**p for the rest of your life.
Invisible Potato 1 year ago
why would she keep a kid of a a*****e who cheated on her and brought his sidechick to her home to tell her that he is dumping her? its cruel to the baby, to be constant reminder of ex partner, its cruel to the mother to be, that kid would have a very dificult life without love.... if she want in 3-9months pregnant, then there is nothing wrong with HER decision about HER body, HER future...
Nitka Tsar 1 year ago
I did not even need to read this through. Of course she is NTA! Anyone saying otherwise is an idiot.
Kerry Fletcher 1 year ago
Even if you did get it out of spite, that's your choice! Hopefully you aren't American and you were able to get the proper procedure and recovery.
Melissa anderson 1 year ago
No reason she should be forced to give birth to the scumbag cheaters accidental offspring. He can breed with his side piece. Her body is not for him to control.
Betty Vanderhooven-SchmaaSchmaa 1 year ago
Men need to understand that nobody can tell you had a vasectomy. It's not castration. You'll still ejaculate and have testes. I'm shocked at the number of men w unwanted children that don't know this.
weatherwitch 1 year ago
She gets abuse yet he's cheated on her for a Year and brought the mistress around to the house they both own. Yet She gets s**t?!? What the f**k is wrong with people???? Poor woman. A termination is a difficult heart rending decision to have to take and he'd already walked out of that relationship. I hope she is content and peaceful now
Bernie j. Janinsky 1 year ago
There 'pro-abortion' & 'anti-abortion'. I'm pro, & the above example is why. A child deserves to be brought into the best of world, to be wanted & protected by BOTH. The OP made the best choice for her AND the baby. I always love how the 'antis' are all a'twitter about the fetus But The Second The Child Is Born, The Baby Becomes 'IT'! As in "Well, that's what your tax dollars are for - To Take Care Of (Warehouse Someplace) IT!" I remember documentaries on Mother Teresa. And I remember realizing that, if you edited out all references to MT, everyone would be crying "OMG! THIS IS ONE OF THOSE HORRIBLE ROMANIAN ORPHANAGES EVERYONE IS TALKING ABOUT! OH, THOSE POOR LITTLE CHILDREN!"
NoName 1 year ago
She, nor ANY OTHER WOMAN ON THE PLANET, isn't an incubator. These decisions aren't made easily, and way too many women aren't given the option to choose. I don't think any woman comes out of this situation doing backflips out of joy. It is a choice that has to be lived with. But I'm grateful that she isn't forced to be bound to this man for the rest of her days. She wasn't keen on kids. She chose what was best for herself. That kid would have been bounced back and forth between bitter parents. Unfortunately, this is the best outcome for her situation. I'm grateful she was allowed to choose.
Kakashisith 1 year ago
She dodged a huge cannonball! Good for her. She even didn`t want kids herself.
Ruth Watry 7 months ago
NTA - 18 years of coparenting is a long time, especially since shared custody could mean that you have to live withing 25 miles of where he lived.
M.J. J. 1 year ago
Any decision a woman makes, yes or no for abortion is going to change her life. I hope where OP got her medical care, she was told of the emotional aftermath with this procedure, due to hormones, societal guilt, pressure from others, etc. Imagine how the child would have been affected in later life with that kind of father, or lack thereof. OP is a strong, centered woman who made the right choice for herself, without support! Kudos!
Grace 1 year ago
Dear lady, DO NOT WORRY ABOUT WHAT IDIOTS THINK!! It is NEVER OK to have an unwanted child!!!! Do you know there are MORE THAN 10 MILLION FOSTER/ORPHANED KIDS IN THE US??? The ONLY reason these anti-abortionosts and Republicans want to abolish abortion is because MORE THAN 97%OF UNWANTED CHILDREN GROW UP AND KEEP OUR FOR-PROFIT PRISONS FULL!!! And THEY should be ABSOLUTELY ASHAMED to run our country thus way. WOMEN OF THE WORLD: DO NOT LET IDIOT BULLIES BOTHER YOU!! ALWAYS DO WHAT WOULD BE IN THE BEST INTEREST OF A POTENTIAL CHILD!! BTW, anti-abortionists call it murder...how stupid can a human be??? In order for murder to happen, there must 1st be a HUAN AND A FETUS IS NOT A LIVING, BREATHING HUMAN!!!!
Livingwithcfs 1 year ago
I didn't have an abortion when I was young because he wanted kids. I was the worse decision I ever made, not my kids fault, I love her very much but it kept him in my life and that was a huge mista
Judy Takács 1 year ago
You did exactly the right thing. 100%. It is exactly what I would have done in the same situation. This is a man you want out of your life forever, and having a child together would put him in your life forever. FOR.EVER. Having this abortion may well pave the way for future happiness and future love…and if you choose, future children. Sometimes parent have to make difficult decisions, and sometimes that decision is to not be a parent. You did the right thing. <3
Mary Anne 1 year ago
DEFINITELY NOT THE AH. You absolutely did the correct thing. I aborted my 2nd pregnancy whilst married. He is now my ex and the worst father to our only child. No one, including him, knows about my abortion because it's a non factor of my life and I have zero regrets and 100% gratitude for having this option. Do not let this give you sleepless nights, nor impede on your daily life/future. May you continue to be blessed with support, light, love and positivity xxx PS: Thank goodness his disgusting , selfish and cowardly behaviour came to light before you were robbed of choice. Rest assured, he will get a different mistress pregnant when his wife is about to birth their 1st/2nd/3rd child.
Pandroid Rebellion 1 year ago
Children raised in this circumstance are almost always unhappy. Why do that to someone when you can prevent an unhappy and resentful childhood before it starts? The concept that human life is sacred is ridiculous. It is only sacred when we are controlling women with the sentiment.
Eboni Henderson 1 year ago
I don't think you were wrong to have an abortion. He was selfish to cheat on you instead of sharing his feelings and exiting the relationship. He strung you along for a year and disrespected you further by bringing the other woman to your home. I don't see how you wouldn't be raising the baby alone. Just as you were in a relationship alone for the last year. He did what he wanted with zero thought or concern for you. You should definitely do the same. Don't give him anymore thought you definitely didn't want children and his wants should never outweigh your own when it comes to something that substantial.
Java Addict 1 year ago
Personally I would have never told him I was pregnant, just had the abortion and washed my hands of him
brenda porterfield 1 year ago
nta. you did what you had to do smart woman f**k what everybody else talking about, he ran off to cheat with a s**t bucket so be it, dont feel bad about protecting your heart and well being. KEEP THAT BIG HEAD OF YOURS UP, PRESENT THAT BEAUITFUL SMILE and keep it moving , IT AINT THE END OF THE WORLD, F**K HIM LET HIM GO stay his way and do what he wanna do, and you stay yo way and do what you gotta do PROTECT YOUR HEART!
Aelin Wildfire 1 year ago
Parenthood is something that should be done with 100% commitment or not at all. Same with pregnancy, considering all the pain and all the potential side effects (including fatality). I think she did the right thing.
jennifer brinkman 1 year ago
She did what was right for her and the baby. Screw anyone who thinks differently. Not your body...not your business!!! The weakling wasn't a man anyway and would have been a s****y father.
StretcherBearer 1 year ago
It's between her, her doctor and her deity if it comes to that. The first two suffice for it to be no one's business ever.
FoodieHuntress 1 year ago
It's a mercy killing. Just accept the fact. Mother did the best she could. Why prolong anyone's suffering?
ShreekyLette Lois (Shreeky) 1 year ago
I have a cousin and an old friend who both had abortions before. Years later they both found out that they had cancer in the overies and would never be able to have kids. Both admitted that karma punished them because they were young and stupid for getting abortions that of they would had known that they could never be able to get pregnant again they would never had the abortions to start with. My cousin's parents made her get 2 abortions at 16 and 18 so no one in their church would know that their daughter got pregnant before marriage.(My cousin told me that not long after I my 1st daughter. Once she found out she had cancer in the ovaries in her mid 20s, she came clean and told me. I never looked at my aunt and uncle the same way again, they didn't want to be looked down on at their church cause their daughter got pregnant twice before marriage. Now she is 💯 lesbian and vowed to never get married) My old friend got pregnant back in college around 21yrs old. She didn't want a kid
ShreekyLette Lois (Shreeky) 1 year ago
Right then so she got an abortion, a year later she found out she had cancer in the ovaries also. She became suicidal because she wanted a baby later on in life but karma punished her because she was young and stupid. ( I didn't meet her until she was 25 and I was 20, we worked in telemarketing together and became friends). All I'm trying to say is... Think before doing that s.it, that may be your only chance of having your own child cause karma will come back and kick you in the a*s eventually. Don't have an abortion to get even with an ex, that's fkd up. And you will regret it down the road. If you don't want kids then be smart and use some type of birth control or keep your damn legs shut or just get a tubal and won't be worrying about getting pregnant. Once you do want kids you can have a reversible tubal(insurance won't pay for the reversible you will have to pay it yourself. When I had mine done my OBYGN told me about it and it was $3k back in 2008, dunno how much now)
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Rebecca A. Corvello 1 year ago
Not a baby. Maybe a fetus but probably just a ball of cells at this early stage. Take a biology course.
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Tyranamar Seuss 1 year ago
I think she was willing to have kids until he turned out to be a lying scumbag.
Load More Replies... KatSaidWhat 1 year ago
It's not pro-life, it's anti-women's rights. My body, my choice. I terminated because 1) it was accidental, 2) I was very irresponsible back then, and 3) it was ectopic in first month already. Do I regret it? No, I never wanted kids anyway. This guy cheated on OP, rubbed her face in it hard then tried to make a decision about how her life is going to go? Nah, Felicia, GTFO and take your new bit with you.
Fox with a Dragon Tattoo 1 year ago
The hard right forced birth cult, once again attacking women. Thats all it does. Pure. Evil.
Load More Replies... Crouching hippo hidden panda 1 year ago
And a lifelong commitment too, kids are hard work, let alone ones you didn’t truly want or that connect you to an AH ex
Load More Replies... Ryan-James O'Driscoll 1 year ago
He didn't consult her before he started f***ing someone else, so does not get to make himself a victim. Hard to say of it was the right choice. Only time will tell on that one and she will know. But it was her choice.
Tabitha 1 year ago (edited)
OP assessed the situation and decided that having a baby, especially with someone who isn't going to be around (and I bet will be a pain in the a*s to track down for support payments) to actively be a part of the child's life, was not in the cards right now. She made it a clean break, so they can each go their separate ways with nothing tying them together. Men, unless you are going to either be there to co-raise YOUR child with the child's mother OR you are going to be a very very generous check in the mail every month, you get no say in the woman's decision whether to keep your child or not. Also, and most importantly, it does NOT make you more of a man to be a deadbeat baby daddy, with kids all over the place that you are not lifting a finger or paying a dime to raise. Babies are not trophies or badges of manliness, they are PEOPLE who deserve to have a decent childhood, not one with some man who shows up once in a while and says he's their father, then disappears again for who knows how long. Get your heads out of your asses, man up, and either understand if a woman does not want to keep a baby you accidentally donated sperm to make, or if she does keep the child, f*****g BE THERE taking an active role in raising a child who shares your DNA, ffs!
DC 1 year ago
I don't really get how he finds something to complain about. With him telling her he cheated, their relationship was, basically, over. So, as they weren't a couple, his opinion on that matter doesn't bear any relevance. That might look different with an involved father, but as he isn't, nor seems to have wanted to be one, nor any sign indicating so, any right that his take on it may be considered is down the drain already anyway ... and the final say, if a COUPLE can't agree, due to the more significant impact it has on her, is hers anyway. Ejaculating, really, isn't that hard a work to do, it's rather just a normal bodily function.
Load More Replies... Guy-Incognito 1 year ago
Brought the gf with him?! Wtf. Nobody should have kids with a monster like this.
Lyoness 1 year ago
What a horrific decision to have to make. Anyone who judges this woman needs to remember that it's her uterus and she gets to decide what to do with it. Stay out of our bodies unless we invite you in.
Roman Hans 1 year ago
That's a great line. Sigh: it's terrific to see how cool some people are, & temporarily forget how f**cked America is right now.
Load More Replies... notlikeyou1971 1 year ago
Hon,you shouldn't feel guilty because you did absolutely nothing wrong. You are your own person. Truthfully you weren't ready for a baby. Even more you didn't want to see a reminder of your cheating ex for the rest of your life. You knew you couldn't handle a child by yourself and didn't have to tell or get his permission for anything. You were the one who was going to have to do all the work carrying a baby( being pregnant and living with the possible health issues and complications),taking care of and paying for it( no guarantees he will, a lot become deadbeats) working and supporting yourself and this kid. Seems like you really didn't want a baby in the 1st place and only did it for him. You did yourself and the child a favor. At least you were honest with yourself. Besides he didn't give you a say in him messing with another person. It's your choice and your body. I know you were realistic not spiteful. Until the day this man can get pregnant and give birth himself he can STFU and if he wants a kid so bad let him play house with his new mate
Aline 1 year ago
Good for OP, don't bring a small human into a terrible situation if you don't have to. Don't put them in the middle of an awful parental dynamic. Don't ruin your own life because your ex has a hang up about sperm. You couldn't trust him to be a husband, why trust him to be a father and co parent? This is the best decision for everyone, adults and zygote alike.
Ouss Ben Aziza 1 year ago
Empathically f**k that guy and anyone like him. Cheating and being entitled is a very VERY disgusting combo. Logically he has no claim on the baby he is not the one carrying it for 9 months. Also why bring one into a dysfunctional family already?
Janelle Collard 1 year ago (edited)
Oh right: I'm gonna go thru 9 mths of pregnancy, labor + raise a kid on my own, cuz AH decided I wasn't good enough. Nope! Not even. Personally, I wouldn't have told him about the abortion so I'd never have to talk to him again. I would've let him draw his own conclusions as to why there was no kid.
Maiko Dancer 1 year ago
i've had an abortion because it was the right thing for me at the time. It was my body, so no one needed to know or comment on it. Although i did feel guilt over it i still say it was the only correct thing for me to have done at the time. my life would be completely different. You did what was best for you, We're both lucky we still had that choice.
Anne Home 1 year ago
I had one also, and it was absolutely the right decision! R
Load More Replies... Joey Jo Jo Shabadoo 1 year ago
$10 says the same people sending OP hateful messages are the same kind of people who criticize single mothers with deadbeat baby daddies.
Fox with a Dragon Tattoo 1 year ago
I feel so bad for her, the guilt she feels is proof his twisted gaslighting worked.
MR 1 year ago
I mean, it seems pretty reasonable to not have a child with someone who cheated on you and would use it as a means to be in your life forever. Yeah, the colleratal damage sucks, but it's so early in the process, it's not that big a deal. And now you can make a clean break and not need to look back. This was an insanely healthy move. The fact that she didn't really want kids to begin with just makes it an even smarter decision.
Max Fox 1 year ago
It's NOT "a baby", it's "a fetus". It was also in the early stages of the pregnancy, since she hadn't yet told him. So actually, not even a fetus, but an embryo. So it barely has the early stages of organs, and nothing like a brain or nervous system. It may even have only been a blastocyst, so just a mass of cells. It was never "a baby", and calling it a "a baby" is typical anti-choice and misogynistic propaganda, aimed at making women feel like that this mass of cells is a "person" with the same rights as the mother has.
Cathleen Cummings 1 year ago
This woman did the right thing! The cheating, lying M**o can rot in hell and/or have kids with his side piece. she is NTA x 10000000
Joy DSouza 1 year ago
I'm sorry about the hard choices you're having to make. This is your life, your choic s, please do not give anyone the right to make you feel good or bad. It's already a tough decision that you will live with for the rest of your life. Each one of us does things we regret or wish it was not so. Children are a blessing when you want them, if not they suffer. Just be blessed, forgiveness and love for yourself. God still loves you!
Janet Floyd 1 year ago
YOU sound like a good Christian. Not the hypocritical ones that I hear too often. I'd probably go to church if more Christians were like you.
Load More Replies... Liz The Biz 1 year ago
I don't blame her. Men like him who can't keep it in their pants rarely change. Women from all walks of life have abortions for all kinds of different reasons. It's never a decision that is made lightly and nobody has the right to judge.
Ephemera Image 1 year ago
She had every right to terminate a pregnancy that he was willing to let her carry alone, and parent, again alone, even if he did any co-parenting I doubt very much the new GF would be welcoming that kid into their home, especially as a baby. And she would be tied to him for the next eighteen years or more!So his selfish expectation was that she would carry all the work, because it's HIS PRECIOUS SEED! The ego is palpable. She dodged a nuclear event!
Zelda McLink 1 year ago
Imagine having to co parent with that soggy sack of c**p for the rest of your life.
Invisible Potato 1 year ago
why would she keep a kid of a a*****e who cheated on her and brought his sidechick to her home to tell her that he is dumping her? its cruel to the baby, to be constant reminder of ex partner, its cruel to the mother to be, that kid would have a very dificult life without love.... if she want in 3-9months pregnant, then there is nothing wrong with HER decision about HER body, HER future...
Nitka Tsar 1 year ago
I did not even need to read this through. Of course she is NTA! Anyone saying otherwise is an idiot.
Kerry Fletcher 1 year ago
Even if you did get it out of spite, that's your choice! Hopefully you aren't American and you were able to get the proper procedure and recovery.
Melissa anderson 1 year ago
No reason she should be forced to give birth to the scumbag cheaters accidental offspring. He can breed with his side piece. Her body is not for him to control.
Betty Vanderhooven-SchmaaSchmaa 1 year ago
Men need to understand that nobody can tell you had a vasectomy. It's not castration. You'll still ejaculate and have testes. I'm shocked at the number of men w unwanted children that don't know this.
weatherwitch 1 year ago
She gets abuse yet he's cheated on her for a Year and brought the mistress around to the house they both own. Yet She gets s**t?!? What the f**k is wrong with people???? Poor woman. A termination is a difficult heart rending decision to have to take and he'd already walked out of that relationship. I hope she is content and peaceful now
Bernie j. Janinsky 1 year ago
There 'pro-abortion' & 'anti-abortion'. I'm pro, & the above example is why. A child deserves to be brought into the best of world, to be wanted & protected by BOTH. The OP made the best choice for her AND the baby. I always love how the 'antis' are all a'twitter about the fetus But The Second The Child Is Born, The Baby Becomes 'IT'! As in "Well, that's what your tax dollars are for - To Take Care Of (Warehouse Someplace) IT!" I remember documentaries on Mother Teresa. And I remember realizing that, if you edited out all references to MT, everyone would be crying "OMG! THIS IS ONE OF THOSE HORRIBLE ROMANIAN ORPHANAGES EVERYONE IS TALKING ABOUT! OH, THOSE POOR LITTLE CHILDREN!"
NoName 1 year ago
She, nor ANY OTHER WOMAN ON THE PLANET, isn't an incubator. These decisions aren't made easily, and way too many women aren't given the option to choose. I don't think any woman comes out of this situation doing backflips out of joy. It is a choice that has to be lived with. But I'm grateful that she isn't forced to be bound to this man for the rest of her days. She wasn't keen on kids. She chose what was best for herself. That kid would have been bounced back and forth between bitter parents. Unfortunately, this is the best outcome for her situation. I'm grateful she was allowed to choose.
Kakashisith 1 year ago
She dodged a huge cannonball! Good for her. She even didn`t want kids herself.
Ruth Watry 7 months ago
NTA - 18 years of coparenting is a long time, especially since shared custody could mean that you have to live withing 25 miles of where he lived.
M.J. J. 1 year ago
Any decision a woman makes, yes or no for abortion is going to change her life. I hope where OP got her medical care, she was told of the emotional aftermath with this procedure, due to hormones, societal guilt, pressure from others, etc. Imagine how the child would have been affected in later life with that kind of father, or lack thereof. OP is a strong, centered woman who made the right choice for herself, without support! Kudos!
Grace 1 year ago
Dear lady, DO NOT WORRY ABOUT WHAT IDIOTS THINK!! It is NEVER OK to have an unwanted child!!!! Do you know there are MORE THAN 10 MILLION FOSTER/ORPHANED KIDS IN THE US??? The ONLY reason these anti-abortionosts and Republicans want to abolish abortion is because MORE THAN 97%OF UNWANTED CHILDREN GROW UP AND KEEP OUR FOR-PROFIT PRISONS FULL!!! And THEY should be ABSOLUTELY ASHAMED to run our country thus way. WOMEN OF THE WORLD: DO NOT LET IDIOT BULLIES BOTHER YOU!! ALWAYS DO WHAT WOULD BE IN THE BEST INTEREST OF A POTENTIAL CHILD!! BTW, anti-abortionists call it murder...how stupid can a human be??? In order for murder to happen, there must 1st be a HUAN AND A FETUS IS NOT A LIVING, BREATHING HUMAN!!!!
Livingwithcfs 1 year ago
I didn't have an abortion when I was young because he wanted kids. I was the worse decision I ever made, not my kids fault, I love her very much but it kept him in my life and that was a huge mista
Judy Takács 1 year ago
You did exactly the right thing. 100%. It is exactly what I would have done in the same situation. This is a man you want out of your life forever, and having a child together would put him in your life forever. FOR.EVER. Having this abortion may well pave the way for future happiness and future love…and if you choose, future children. Sometimes parent have to make difficult decisions, and sometimes that decision is to not be a parent. You did the right thing. <3
Mary Anne 1 year ago
DEFINITELY NOT THE AH. You absolutely did the correct thing. I aborted my 2nd pregnancy whilst married. He is now my ex and the worst father to our only child. No one, including him, knows about my abortion because it's a non factor of my life and I have zero regrets and 100% gratitude for having this option. Do not let this give you sleepless nights, nor impede on your daily life/future. May you continue to be blessed with support, light, love and positivity xxx PS: Thank goodness his disgusting , selfish and cowardly behaviour came to light before you were robbed of choice. Rest assured, he will get a different mistress pregnant when his wife is about to birth their 1st/2nd/3rd child.
Pandroid Rebellion 1 year ago
Children raised in this circumstance are almost always unhappy. Why do that to someone when you can prevent an unhappy and resentful childhood before it starts? The concept that human life is sacred is ridiculous. It is only sacred when we are controlling women with the sentiment.
Eboni Henderson 1 year ago
I don't think you were wrong to have an abortion. He was selfish to cheat on you instead of sharing his feelings and exiting the relationship. He strung you along for a year and disrespected you further by bringing the other woman to your home. I don't see how you wouldn't be raising the baby alone. Just as you were in a relationship alone for the last year. He did what he wanted with zero thought or concern for you. You should definitely do the same. Don't give him anymore thought you definitely didn't want children and his wants should never outweigh your own when it comes to something that substantial.
Java Addict 1 year ago
Personally I would have never told him I was pregnant, just had the abortion and washed my hands of him
brenda porterfield 1 year ago
nta. you did what you had to do smart woman f**k what everybody else talking about, he ran off to cheat with a s**t bucket so be it, dont feel bad about protecting your heart and well being. KEEP THAT BIG HEAD OF YOURS UP, PRESENT THAT BEAUITFUL SMILE and keep it moving , IT AINT THE END OF THE WORLD, F**K HIM LET HIM GO stay his way and do what he wanna do, and you stay yo way and do what you gotta do PROTECT YOUR HEART!
Aelin Wildfire 1 year ago
Parenthood is something that should be done with 100% commitment or not at all. Same with pregnancy, considering all the pain and all the potential side effects (including fatality). I think she did the right thing.
jennifer brinkman 1 year ago
She did what was right for her and the baby. Screw anyone who thinks differently. Not your body...not your business!!! The weakling wasn't a man anyway and would have been a s****y father.
StretcherBearer 1 year ago
It's between her, her doctor and her deity if it comes to that. The first two suffice for it to be no one's business ever.
FoodieHuntress 1 year ago
It's a mercy killing. Just accept the fact. Mother did the best she could. Why prolong anyone's suffering?
ShreekyLette Lois (Shreeky) 1 year ago
I have a cousin and an old friend who both had abortions before. Years later they both found out that they had cancer in the overies and would never be able to have kids. Both admitted that karma punished them because they were young and stupid for getting abortions that of they would had known that they could never be able to get pregnant again they would never had the abortions to start with. My cousin's parents made her get 2 abortions at 16 and 18 so no one in their church would know that their daughter got pregnant before marriage.(My cousin told me that not long after I my 1st daughter. Once she found out she had cancer in the ovaries in her mid 20s, she came clean and told me. I never looked at my aunt and uncle the same way again, they didn't want to be looked down on at their church cause their daughter got pregnant twice before marriage. Now she is 💯 lesbian and vowed to never get married) My old friend got pregnant back in college around 21yrs old. She didn't want a kid
ShreekyLette Lois (Shreeky) 1 year ago
Right then so she got an abortion, a year later she found out she had cancer in the ovaries also. She became suicidal because she wanted a baby later on in life but karma punished her because she was young and stupid. ( I didn't meet her until she was 25 and I was 20, we worked in telemarketing together and became friends). All I'm trying to say is... Think before doing that s.it, that may be your only chance of having your own child cause karma will come back and kick you in the a*s eventually. Don't have an abortion to get even with an ex, that's fkd up. And you will regret it down the road. If you don't want kids then be smart and use some type of birth control or keep your damn legs shut or just get a tubal and won't be worrying about getting pregnant. Once you do want kids you can have a reversible tubal(insurance won't pay for the reversible you will have to pay it yourself. When I had mine done my OBYGN told me about it and it was $3k back in 2008, dunno how much now)
Load More Replies... Rebecca A. Corvello 1 year ago
Not a baby. Maybe a fetus but probably just a ball of cells at this early stage. Take a biology course.
Load More Replies... Tyranamar Seuss 1 year ago
I think she was willing to have kids until he turned out to be a lying scumbag.
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