‘He Said He Didn’t Know How To Boil Water’: Foster Parent Shares What It’s Like To Raise Children From Hard Backgrounds
The memories we associate with food are strong and can follow us for as long as we live. Tasting something that we ate during a certain period of our lives can bring back what we were feeling then, whether those memories are fond, or painful. A mom’s post about one of these darker memories that her son, who she adopted through foster care, shared with her, has gone viral as an example of how surviving neglect affects children and as a reminder for foster parents to listen and make space for their kids’ experiences.
Aubren Dudley, an adoptive mother of 5 siblings, wrote in a Facebook post that she noticed the 9-year-old about to eat something that appeared strange and unappetizing to her: a block of dry ramen noodles straight out of the packet. She was about to stop him, but he explained that he wanted to eat it that way since he had developed a taste for it in his old home. When she opened up and listened to his explanation, it made her more conscious of what her kids had been through before they came to her.
Aubren Dudley posted her son’s story along with a picture of the meal
Image credits: aubren00
In the United States, nearly a third of children in foster care, most of them 5 years old or younger, were removed from their parents because of neglect related to parental drug use. That figure has increased due to the opioid and methamphetamine epidemics, and an overall increase in the amount of children entering foster care in the last decade could possibly be related as well.
In Dudley’s post, she highlights the importance of not trying to erase this experience of neglect or minimize its relevance, but letting her kids share it at their own pace and appreciating their resilience that got them to where they are now.
Other people who have adopted children, or were adopted themselves, thanked her for sharing the story and for her call to be empathetic when kids open up about traumatic experiences.
People commended both Dudley and her son for the story
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Actually, instant ramens are quite good like that! I used to eat them that way. Ramen are already cooked so they're not uncooked, just dried.
I used to eat Ramen like that too, I liked it a lot actually. I'd sprinkle a little water on it so the spices would stick then crunch away.
Load More Replies...This story is so sad. Its remembering me how I had to be strong when I was living with my dad. Yes its survival mode and you cant just press "Pause" there is no stop. When I was 15years old my dad kicked me from the house. This was the best thing that could happened to me (even if it was a rough time) I always say I started living at 15 now.
I think that kids who get kicked out before they're legally old enough to support themselves with full time work should be able to sue their parents for back child support years later.
Load More Replies...Sometimes life boils down to perspective and this is a good one to be mindful of
I cried. And I'm a trauma therapist who is used to a lot. How strong hè is!
I'm sorry you had to go through that. In my experience C-PTSS can get better. Find a traumatherapist. Medication will not cure: most medication pushes down feelings that should be felt to be processed.
Load More Replies...I frequently engage kids in conversation, sometimes at the annoyance of their parents, so they feel like they have someone who listens to them. Often times the stories are fantastic and don't make a lot of sense, but it's great to see how excited they get than an adult is interested in talking about kids stuff. I'm just grateful to have a son that exposes me to all the latest greatest topics in the kid world. Oh..and Ramen is his favorite meal..but he prefers his cooked.
I knew a couple years ago that took in foster children. The very first one, aged four, would hide caches of food all over the house. This was because her bio parents would lock her in a closet with a box of crackers and a bottle of water, then go off and party for a weekend or longer. So she learned to survive by making sure she always had these secret sources of food. At four. My friends ended up adopting her, so I guess she was a "foster fail".
some people should never be allowed to procreate. Not speaking about this loving foster family obviously. Just some people don't deserve children!
Totally agree. Actually, these cases are my biggest argument against god. If there were a benevolent god, s/he wouldn't allow these people to have children.
Load More Replies...I wish that I could adopt but sadly I doubt I will never be in a financial situation to do so, at least where I live. This poor boy is so strong.
Actually, instant ramens are quite good like that! I used to eat them that way. Ramen are already cooked so they're not uncooked, just dried.
I used to eat Ramen like that too, I liked it a lot actually. I'd sprinkle a little water on it so the spices would stick then crunch away.
Load More Replies...This story is so sad. Its remembering me how I had to be strong when I was living with my dad. Yes its survival mode and you cant just press "Pause" there is no stop. When I was 15years old my dad kicked me from the house. This was the best thing that could happened to me (even if it was a rough time) I always say I started living at 15 now.
I think that kids who get kicked out before they're legally old enough to support themselves with full time work should be able to sue their parents for back child support years later.
Load More Replies...Sometimes life boils down to perspective and this is a good one to be mindful of
I cried. And I'm a trauma therapist who is used to a lot. How strong hè is!
I'm sorry you had to go through that. In my experience C-PTSS can get better. Find a traumatherapist. Medication will not cure: most medication pushes down feelings that should be felt to be processed.
Load More Replies...I frequently engage kids in conversation, sometimes at the annoyance of their parents, so they feel like they have someone who listens to them. Often times the stories are fantastic and don't make a lot of sense, but it's great to see how excited they get than an adult is interested in talking about kids stuff. I'm just grateful to have a son that exposes me to all the latest greatest topics in the kid world. Oh..and Ramen is his favorite meal..but he prefers his cooked.
I knew a couple years ago that took in foster children. The very first one, aged four, would hide caches of food all over the house. This was because her bio parents would lock her in a closet with a box of crackers and a bottle of water, then go off and party for a weekend or longer. So she learned to survive by making sure she always had these secret sources of food. At four. My friends ended up adopting her, so I guess she was a "foster fail".
some people should never be allowed to procreate. Not speaking about this loving foster family obviously. Just some people don't deserve children!
Totally agree. Actually, these cases are my biggest argument against god. If there were a benevolent god, s/he wouldn't allow these people to have children.
Load More Replies...I wish that I could adopt but sadly I doubt I will never be in a financial situation to do so, at least where I live. This poor boy is so strong.






















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