“I Was Forced To Suck It Up And Get Back To Work:” Heartbroken Mom Shares Why 12 Weeks Of Maternity Leave Isn’t Enough
Interview With Author
As if returning to work after maternity leave wasn’t hard enough already for women from all around the world, the US parental leave policies are putting even more strain on new mothers.
But despite being overly stressed and exhausted, being the key source of income, the financial burden makes them put on a smile and open the office door just 12 weeks in from maternity leave. For most European countries, such a short period of leave is simply incomprehensible.
And one of the unsung hero moms, Rachael Larsen, took 4 years to finally have the courage to share her tearful story of going back to work. Rachael, who’s a director of product operations at a Salt Lake City education company, wrote: “The shame around raising a family and working full-time is real,” and added that no matter the circumstances, “she wasn’t ready.”
Rachael’s post shared on LinkedIn shed light on what’s really going through so many women’s heads as they have no other choice but to suck it up and do their best; even then, deep inside, they may feel totally defeated. So let’s read it in full right below.
Rachael Larsen posted a tearful confession on how she wasn’t ready to go back to work after 12 weeks of maternity leave
Bored Panda reached out to Rachael Larsen, the author of this viral Linkedin post who was happy to share her experience of that tearful day.
When asked what took her four years to share the picture, Rachael said: “It took me so long because I knew the default response from many people would be critical of my desire to be a career-loving mother. The pressure for women to fit in only one box is real and you can see it lived out in rude comments.”
“Returning to work after family leave might be one of the most difficult things you do, or it might bring you relief to feel like your old self. Every situation is different.” With Rachael’s oldest child, she returned to work after 8 weeks. “It was a breath of fresh air for me to be able to take a break from the grueling work of caring for a newborn who wants to eat every two hours and cries non-stop.”
However, many parents out there stay silent about what they’re really going through at that incredibly stressful point of their lives. “We don’t want to be viewed as weak, or unable to manage the demands of our lives.”
According to Rachael, “It is difficult to ask for help, especially when many companies only provide what FMLA requires and their corporate policies don’t allow them to provide more paid time off or flexible return options. For many managers, there is literally nothing they can do.”
Rachael’s confession resonated with many others as they shared their support in the comments
For comparison, in Austria, women are obligated to take leave from eight weeks before the birth to eight weeks after, during which they cannot work. According to an OECD report, Austrian employees are paid their full average net income for the previous three months in maternity benefit with no cap.
People from foreign countries shared their experiences and many agreed 12 weeks is far from enough
“It’s no surprise that the parental leave in America is the worst of any developed nation. To break free from the individualist mindset of ‘pull yourself up by your bootstraps’ we will need a national change of heart where we acknowledge the value that families and communities provide to our country.”
Rachael believes that “we need to value the humanity of our workers just as much as we value corporate profit. It doesn’t have to be one or the other; when the interests of both are balanced, you see companies thrive.”
But there have also been some critical opinions
To all parents out there who feel silenced, miserable, and hopeless, Rachael says: “No matter how you feel about it, you are not alone. There are millions of parents out there working through the same emotions and guilt that you feel.”
According to a 2019 report by Unicef, which analyzed which of the world’s richest countries are most family-friendly, Estonia leads the field for new mothers with over 80 weeks of leave at full pay.
And from 41 reported countries that are part of the Organisation for Economic Cooperation and Development and European Union, the US made it to the bottom of the table, giving a total of zero weeks with no national paid leave.
And a few general comments that summed up the whole situation
In Romania the mothers got 2 years to stay home . And they receive 80% of the salary (last 12 months) from the state.
Germany has 18months (which can be shared between mom and dad) and 60%.
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23 years ago when I had my son, I was so happy when I had an emergency C-section because it meant I got an extra 2 weeks of paid maternity leave (8 weeks instead of 6). I now realize how absolutely ridiculous it was that I was happy about having major surgery because it meant having a whole extra 14 days home with my son.
In my country, the maternity leave is 12 months. Paid. Paternity leave is 9 weeks, but the father can "take" some of the mother's 12 months if they prefer. Then either parent can take parental leave until the child is 3 years old (not on full pay but still a good amount, like 60 or 70%). The government subsidies the companies, and an employee CANNOT be fired when on any of those leaves, by law. America is so backward sometimes.
Jerry Hengehold: It ends when you go live alon on a secluded island. A society needs children to survive and hence has to support parents. if you don't like it, then f*cking LEAVE.
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I'm surprised the amount of people commenting that don't know how maternity leave works (do they even have maternity leave in the USA??). The government pays this, not your employer. So it makes no sense to whine about employers having to cover the costs, or employees having to cover for 2 people. If your work place is forcing you to cover for another person it's because they are cheap. They are not paying the salary for that person using materiality leave and are more than capable of hiring a temp. Stop shaming people for having a personal life especially when you have no idea what you're whining about.
The government does NOT pay for your maternity leave in the US. That is 100% covered by your employer if they offer and many do not.
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In Slovakia maternity leave lasts 3 years. It starts 6 weeks before due date. For 34 weeks mother is paid almost 100% of the salary (in case she has a job). For the rest of ML mother gets 370 euros per month. Not so bad.
I went back to work 8 days after having my son because my company offered no maternity leave. I was a single mom at the time, it was really hard.
In Israel we have 12 weeks pay leave, but you can stay home for 6 months without being fired. My self, at the end of the first 3 months, I almost got crazy. I did not want to go back to work, just did not want to stay with the baby alone for one more second. It's good to have the option to choose.
Funny how many people commented that you know about limited maternity leave before you have kids. The fact that your country doesn't provide very well for families does normally not change your wish to have a family. Other countries do it much better than the USA.
Also funny how some of the men commented that women didn't need that much time off, they knew the policy before they got pregnant, one felt the need to mention that HE had two kids-not sure what that has to do with anything..but basically, women are being pregnant wrong, planning wrong, and don't know their bodies or their mind. Thank god these men can explain that stitches in my vagina from getting ripped and this bladder bag I have to carry around due to delivery complications is just me whining. One man commented that " he didn't get any time off for paternity leave". The men are right. We are just a bunch of stupid idiots who complain about gender pay gaps, and the men probably could do such a better job at being pregnant &having a baby , and mothering, than we can-we should just start listening to every thing they tell us. Our life would be so much easier. Maybe I will finally learn where my clitoris is-I will just listen to a man explain it to me-and try real hard to understand.
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I had 2 of my 3 kids while I was an active duty Marine. 30 days maternity leave and 6 months to meet PT and weight standards. (This was 1987-1988.) Not impossible...but not fun either.
Not fun.. so why do it? Why make it harder for yourself
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In Norway you were entitled to 12 weeks from 1956, before that it was up to each employer but 10-12 weeks was common. My sister was born 1990, and from then on you would get 28 weeks maternity leave on full pay. Now, 2021, you get 49 weeks at 100% pay, or 59 weeks at 80%. The mother has to take at least 6 weeks directly after the birth, and has the sole right to 15 of these 49 weeks,. The father (other parent) has the sole right to 15 weeks too, and the family will lose these weeks if he doesn't take them. The remaining 19 weeks will be shared between the parents as they see fit. And the parents have the right to unpaid leave/reduced work hours until the child is three, and to be let back to his/her work full time after this period. . PS: The Swedish permission system is better than the Norwegian one. Especially for multiple births.
It's absolutely shameful that we Dutch women only get 10-12 weeks paid maternity leave. All our neighbors are doing so much better. I think we're just about the worst in Europe, while we're definitely not the poorest country. It's insane..
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To the negative commentators, just because you thought it out beforehand does not mean you know how you will feel when it is time to go back.
That sucks! In Europe it's mostly a year or even two. I have no idea how can anyone leave barely 3 months old baby, that is just cruel. Maybe you could fight to change that law, it's not natural. Sometimes, I get so angry at tv portrait of business women who can't wait to get to work right after having baby! They make it hard for every other woman.
It seems other countries do quite a bit for families while here in the good ol' USA, they'll just tell ya "Hey, if you can't afford to take time off then you shouldn't be having kids!" Nice ain't it? /s
Slovakia has 3 years. 8 Months you get 80% of your salary. Of course you can go back to the work when you want, but if not, you have 3 years, untill your baby goes to the kindergarden.
After 8 months of 80% salary, you got child support, which is only few hundred Euros. Materniny leave can be shared between mother ans father.
Load More Replies... I love the "don't like it, don't have kids" coming from the country that is actively trying to make abortion illegal and in my opinion means taking the right to choose how a woman lives her life away. They make it seem like women always have a choice in getting pregnant, it is not always the case, you can use all the protection in the world & it still happens. Also, 12 weeks is disgusting. That is not nearly enough time for either parent to be home. More proof the US healthcare system is broken, & yes, that is healthcare. The body goes through SO much after creating & then delivering a baby, it takes a long time to heal, both physically & mentally.
Exactly! I always wonder if the "dont have kids!" crowd has thought through their own advice...like...do they realize what would happen if everyone took their "smart" advice and had no kids? Where do they think THEY came from? I get the "dont have kids until stable" comments...but to just tell people they are "stupid" or "selfish" for simply having a family is really short sighted and kind of daft.
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When I had my daughter, I only could be a 24/7 father two weeks (that was the standard in Spain for a father -not for a mother-) and not in a row: due to responsibility at work (and at home), I had to split them. And yes, that broke my heart for some time... but life ain't easy, right?
Luckily it changed! Now both parents get equal non transferable 4 months of leave
Load More Replies... This is absolutely heartbreaking. No mother should have to be forced to go back to work after having a baby at least for a year, unless they want to. There are a lot of things to wrong with this country, but this is absolutely disgusting. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen crying mothers at work. Most of them having left their baby right after six weeks. We seem to reward people who don’t work at all, and punish the ones who do. The U.S needs a major reform of labor laws and government assistance.
people who say just don't have kids are actually part of the problem!! Also when you say " I don't want to cover for you just because you have kids " you totally miss the point!! this is not a fight between parents and non parents! it's a fight for your rights!!! it's the company's job to find a way to cover the person and if they don't care about the parents, they will not care about you also if you need a sick leave!! it's all wrong and you shouldn't be opposite, no matter if you have kids or not! it's about your rights as workers! rights that in other countries are completely logical! By the way I don't have kids and I come from a much smaller country and not rich at all! these things are standard!
Poor thing, thinks she was lucky and privileged to get 12 weeks. It’s just barbaric by developed world standards.
Wow, yet another time I'm glad I'm NOT American. I am British. I am expecting my first child in May. I am finishing work at the end of this month, taking a month of accrued holiday and then starting my maternity leave in May. I will return to work February next year. We can take 52 weeks in UK but only the first 39 weeks are paid. My employer do full pay for 6 weeks, half pay for 20 weeks, and the final 13 weeks are Statutory Maternity Pay (SMP) which is the £151.20pw. Some employers offer better packages, some just offer the basic as stated in the article (6 weeks at 90% and then 33 weeks at £151.20pw). But all women are entitled to take up to 52 weeks off. Right now I wouldn't want to take the 52 weeks and have 13 weeks unpaid, however it's nice to know I have that flexibility to be able to do that if I'm not ready to leave the baby, and my fiancé and I can save enough money up to cope on his salary alone for that time.
Hungary has 2 years maternity leave on 80% of salary paid by the state, protection scheme that they cant fire you after returning to work, government grant to build a house (if you have 3 kids, they give you 25000 gbp handout, and another ~30000 gbp interest free government loan towards your house)... And if you have 4 kids, the mother wont have to pay income tax for the rest of their life. And people here are complaining that its a piece of sh*t and our president should be hung on a lamppost. Oh, i forgot to mention, if you have 3 kids, you can also have a government grant of ~5000 gbp towards a new 7 seater car. Its nearly impossible to please people...
Norway's system is flexible and generous. Mothers can take 49 weeks at full pay or 59 weeks at 80% pay, and fathers can take between zero and 10 weeks depending on their wives' income. Together, parents can receive an additional 46 weeks at full pay or 56 weeks at 80% of their income.
When my son was born the father got 1 day off. Officially to register their kid with the municipally. Luckily I had tons of leave piled up and could take 10 weeks paid leave. My girlfriend had the normal 13 weeks, which were extended with 6 weeks summer vacation (she was employed in education). So we were extremely lucky.
But don't want help for the woman who has given birth. The hypocrites who have stopped legislation allowing moms to stay with their children
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Here in Trinidad and Tobago women get 13 weeks paid maternity leave which is definitely not enough and men get no paternity leave or three days (only if the company chooses to allow it). I really think there should be some universal rule with maternity leave because this just isn't right.
In Bulgaria you have 2 years maternity leave, in the first one the state pays you 80% of the net monthly salary you received in the past 24 months before the maternity leave. The second year is at minimal wage. The father has 2 weeks payed leave after the baby is born. At the end of the two years, the mother can use accumulated payed leave days, which at minimum are 20 days per year. And the mother can take payed sick days before the birth, some even take the whole 9 months, depending on the case.
The second year compensation is set at 380 BGN for everyone, it's not tied to minimum wage.
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I was extremely lucky in the sense that I got to be a stay-at-home mom, I didn't have to work while I was pregnant. Looking back now, I realise that I've had chronic fatigue syndrome since I was 18, I always wondered why I was so exhausted during my pregnancy and I was only 29. We need to stop being unkind to women who choose to not have children, women who choose to have children and work, and women who choose to stay home with the kids. We all do what we have to, to take care of our families in every way we can. Stop criticising other people's choices. Having a career and having children should not be mutually exclusive.
These "critical opinions" shouldn't even be displayed. Most of them don't have any empathy.
With 12 weeks of maternity or less are you surprised the USA is raising thousands of sociopaths?
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LOL- people on here dumb enough to think profit-driven US businesses give a s**t about their employees or society in general. LOL!!!!! As long as corporate America continues to own CONgress, none of this will change.
I’m currently pregnant and they do 12 weeks here ONLY if you have the fmla hours. I have a disability that requires me to miss work at times so I won’t even get the full 12 weeks. 😔
These are just more examples about how much the pro-life community does not actually care about children. Where is the legislation to give paid maternity leave so mothers can be with their babies?? Oh wait, but capitalism is more important than the bond between a mother and her child.
brutal!!! thats just uncivilized. here we get up to 3 years. for the mother AND the father.
"she is privileged" to have 12 weeks? In my country you get 1 year (paid) plus after that you use your 26 days of vacation days from that year(paid)
I honestly was there I didn't know how hard it would be. I was leader in my field but had to make the decision down the road to take a less paying job and my husband who was a stay at home dad went back to working. I have 4 kids now and balance work and family better. No one can tell you how much it changes when it happens but for me it was one of working telling me I wish my mom worked less and spent more time with me when I was little. I cried so hard that day but I got it. Sometimes it takes one hard lesson to know it's Quality of life we do it for. I am so sorry it hurt you and know why you waited to say something. You weren't wrong for feeling that way it just hard.
There's a book on archive.org by George Newman written way back in 1906 called 'Infant Mortality, a social problem' that's incredibly insightful as to why moms need to be allowed to be moms. Sure, we have incubators and infant formula now, but surviving isn't necessarily thriving, and the first year is critical for maintaining healthy bodies and minds as we age. In a lot of ways, the book outlines an important historical lesson that's just as valid today.
My wife went back to work after about 12 weeks and I took paternity leave. We both really enjoyed it. Second kid we switched. Women do not HAVE to stay home, stop shaming.
The US just suck. The stories in the comments are unbelievable - asking a torn open, bleeding and lactating new mother to come into work is insane.
So, how many weeks with the child did the father get? What do you say? They couldn't even spend a week with the newborn? Missed all the "firsts" that didn't happen on a weekend? Oh.
Some people don't have maternity leave at all. I'm in the USA. At my Firm if you don't work you don't get paid and if you don't work for weeks or months.. you'll be replaced. I had my son on a Friday and was back to work that Monday. I didn't even need to take a sick day, thank god. I was answering emails while sitting next to him in the NICU. One week later he was home and I was telecommuting. And by 2 weeks post birth I was back in the office. If it wasn't for COVID he would have been with me in a rocker or something because I have my own office, but thanks to COVID I didn't want to test it. That would have been a year ago this month.
A lot of people in the USA don't even get leave. I had my baby on a Friday and was back to work on Monday. I'm not kidding. I was answering my emails while in the NICU sitting by him. I was telecommuting the first 2 weeks of his life before going back into the office and that was only because of Covid - otherwise I would have had him with me at the office but I didn't want to expose him to anything so he stayed at home with my parents. That was a year ago this month. They don't have maternity leave at this Firm. If you don't work, you get replaced.
You are so pretty, and here you look so sad. I am a Mom and I absolutely know how you must have felt. You are all the braver and stronger now time after those circumstances. I'm glad you and your family are well and happy and healthy to look back at a real struggle that makes your bond stronger. Our country is one of growth and economy driven, the family unit is not the focus here, unfortunately. Third world countries have better maternity leave benefits. Cheers to you and family!
I got 6 weeks of paid(all my vacation I saved) and two weeks unpaid when my ob refuse to allow me back due to postpartum.
The US is so ass-backwards. And 12 weeks is great, in some circumstances employers fire women, don't hold jobs and just don't care.
Mother of three here. I got one week off without pay after the birth of my child. They hired me knowing I was pregnant, knew I would have to go to medical appointments so they put me on a 5 to 2 am shift, and then I was made to feel like I was lucky they held my position for that week I spent recovering from child birth. I later left that job and joined the military. When my son died, I was given six weeks off to help deal with all that comes with that nightmare (that never seems to go away). I dont know how to feel about her having to go back to work after 12 weeks. Good for her? Sorry? Congratulations on her healthy baby? I am not beating her up. Things change over time - some for the better, some not. The primary thing is when you HAVE to make it work, you do. And then you just keep going, hoping that it is true that things wont always be like this. And on the other side of it now, things did get better. Except that death thing. Nothing changes that.
When I asked my HR department what their maternity leave policy was they said ummm... you can apply for unemployment
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Might be kind of unpopular to say, but I think the problem is more that we have created a system in which in order for most people to survive, they have to have 2 incomes. That is not to say that woman should be the one to stay home... just that it is sad that parents are forced to choose between living on a shoe string, or making their kids "latchkey kids" even at 2 years old. We lost something when we made "equality" mean that both parents had to live the traditionally "male" role rather than making it ok for both/all genders to choose either the work or home role. I loved the years my dad was home to raise me, even if it ended when I started school.
In most European countries ... Welcome to Belgium, were the lucky self-employed mums-to-be also get 12 weeks. It used to be even less. It's a goddam shame.
But you have the paternity leave that you can take. Everybody can take paid leave up in the first 12 years of their kids life if I am not mistaken
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You aren't forced to return to work. Some people take this time to stay at home for a few years.
If I had done that, we would have been on welfare.
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American feminists went the wrong direction. In France, they pushed for more maternity leave, not gender equality. Gender equality will get you the same amount of maternity leave as men.
Omfg! Maybe you should have had kids 20 years ago when mat leave wasn't a thing. If YOU chose to have a kid, it didn't become your employer's responsibility. Nowadays noone takes responsibility for thier actions it becomes someone elses, and then have the guts to whinge and cry to the world about your poor decisions.
People are paid to work. People are not paid to not work. Seems fair to me
With your stupid attitude, humanity would have died out long ago, because cave people would not have not supported cave women with newborns.
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It's bad enough when someone at my office takes two weeks off for vacation. Can't imagine having to do someone's job for up to two years because they are on maternity leave. Do I get compensated for the extra work I now have to do? Of course not.
Not how it works. Government pays mom, so employer has money to hire replacement on temporary basis.
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Yes, I loved unpaid leave while recovering from an emergency c-section then returning to work before I was ready! Maybe I should have stayed home on welfare.
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It’s tough to go back to work after a baby. She was able to take enough time off though to physically recover from birth, making her more fortunate than a lot of women. Her baby will be fine. Good quality childcare is not harmful for kids. I don’t think anyone is wrong here. It’s completely understandable that she’s upset, but her employers were generous in their policy.
Maybe part of it is just ignorance. Like I don’t have kids and 12 weeks to me sounds like enough time. I wouldn’t have guessed it wasn’t. I can see there being more time if other countries are doing it but a whole year just sounds like a lot of responsibility for an employer. Can they hire a new person? Does the government pay that money? What happens to the new person when the mom comes back? Honestly I’m just glad my companies are in fields where women don’t really even apply, because I really don’t want anything to do with that whole process.
Yes, in those countries the government usually pays most of what the parent receives during their leave, that's part of what people pay taxes for. And the company can indeed hire someone as a replacement for the duration of that leave, usually either a "full employee" with a fixed-term contract or a temp worker.
Load More Replies... And where is the reward for those who don't take advantage of the paid maternity leave--either women who can't have children or are childless by choice, or the men--who have to cover for those out having babies, all while never seeing any of that paid benefit? Perhaps they should get something for saving the company money.
Companies hire replacements. Govt pays for maternity leave. Childless people benefit because other people's children will pay their pension. That's how it works in Germany.
Load More Replies... People are paid to work. People are not paid to not work. Seems fair to me.
People pay taxes and are therefore compensated by the state during periods when they are unable to work. That's what's fair.
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#choices Why not be a RESPONSIBLE human being and think about the consequences of your actions? Save money and plan so you can have a family and offer your kids a decent upbringing. How about we start being AWARE and become ACCOUNTABLE for the choices we make? Connect to reality! Boo-hoo won't cut it
Or don't live in a third world country that pretends to be a first world country.....
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In developed countries maternity is paid by the state from taxes, the employer is not covering anything. They instead use the money they used to pay to the mother to hire a replacement until she comes back.
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In Romania the mothers got 2 years to stay home . And they receive 80% of the salary (last 12 months) from the state.
Germany has 18months (which can be shared between mom and dad) and 60%.
Load More Replies... 23 years ago when I had my son, I was so happy when I had an emergency C-section because it meant I got an extra 2 weeks of paid maternity leave (8 weeks instead of 6). I now realize how absolutely ridiculous it was that I was happy about having major surgery because it meant having a whole extra 14 days home with my son.
In my country, the maternity leave is 12 months. Paid. Paternity leave is 9 weeks, but the father can "take" some of the mother's 12 months if they prefer. Then either parent can take parental leave until the child is 3 years old (not on full pay but still a good amount, like 60 or 70%). The government subsidies the companies, and an employee CANNOT be fired when on any of those leaves, by law. America is so backward sometimes.
Jerry Hengehold: It ends when you go live alon on a secluded island. A society needs children to survive and hence has to support parents. if you don't like it, then f*cking LEAVE.
Load More Replies... I'm surprised the amount of people commenting that don't know how maternity leave works (do they even have maternity leave in the USA??). The government pays this, not your employer. So it makes no sense to whine about employers having to cover the costs, or employees having to cover for 2 people. If your work place is forcing you to cover for another person it's because they are cheap. They are not paying the salary for that person using materiality leave and are more than capable of hiring a temp. Stop shaming people for having a personal life especially when you have no idea what you're whining about.
The government does NOT pay for your maternity leave in the US. That is 100% covered by your employer if they offer and many do not.
Load More Replies... In Slovakia maternity leave lasts 3 years. It starts 6 weeks before due date. For 34 weeks mother is paid almost 100% of the salary (in case she has a job). For the rest of ML mother gets 370 euros per month. Not so bad.
I went back to work 8 days after having my son because my company offered no maternity leave. I was a single mom at the time, it was really hard.
In Israel we have 12 weeks pay leave, but you can stay home for 6 months without being fired. My self, at the end of the first 3 months, I almost got crazy. I did not want to go back to work, just did not want to stay with the baby alone for one more second. It's good to have the option to choose.
Funny how many people commented that you know about limited maternity leave before you have kids. The fact that your country doesn't provide very well for families does normally not change your wish to have a family. Other countries do it much better than the USA.
Also funny how some of the men commented that women didn't need that much time off, they knew the policy before they got pregnant, one felt the need to mention that HE had two kids-not sure what that has to do with anything..but basically, women are being pregnant wrong, planning wrong, and don't know their bodies or their mind. Thank god these men can explain that stitches in my vagina from getting ripped and this bladder bag I have to carry around due to delivery complications is just me whining. One man commented that " he didn't get any time off for paternity leave". The men are right. We are just a bunch of stupid idiots who complain about gender pay gaps, and the men probably could do such a better job at being pregnant &having a baby , and mothering, than we can-we should just start listening to every thing they tell us. Our life would be so much easier. Maybe I will finally learn where my clitoris is-I will just listen to a man explain it to me-and try real hard to understand.
Load More Replies... I had 2 of my 3 kids while I was an active duty Marine. 30 days maternity leave and 6 months to meet PT and weight standards. (This was 1987-1988.) Not impossible...but not fun either.
Not fun.. so why do it? Why make it harder for yourself
Load More Replies... In Norway you were entitled to 12 weeks from 1956, before that it was up to each employer but 10-12 weeks was common. My sister was born 1990, and from then on you would get 28 weeks maternity leave on full pay. Now, 2021, you get 49 weeks at 100% pay, or 59 weeks at 80%. The mother has to take at least 6 weeks directly after the birth, and has the sole right to 15 of these 49 weeks,. The father (other parent) has the sole right to 15 weeks too, and the family will lose these weeks if he doesn't take them. The remaining 19 weeks will be shared between the parents as they see fit. And the parents have the right to unpaid leave/reduced work hours until the child is three, and to be let back to his/her work full time after this period. . PS: The Swedish permission system is better than the Norwegian one. Especially for multiple births.
It's absolutely shameful that we Dutch women only get 10-12 weeks paid maternity leave. All our neighbors are doing so much better. I think we're just about the worst in Europe, while we're definitely not the poorest country. It's insane..
Load More Replies... To the negative commentators, just because you thought it out beforehand does not mean you know how you will feel when it is time to go back.
That sucks! In Europe it's mostly a year or even two. I have no idea how can anyone leave barely 3 months old baby, that is just cruel. Maybe you could fight to change that law, it's not natural. Sometimes, I get so angry at tv portrait of business women who can't wait to get to work right after having baby! They make it hard for every other woman.
It seems other countries do quite a bit for families while here in the good ol' USA, they'll just tell ya "Hey, if you can't afford to take time off then you shouldn't be having kids!" Nice ain't it? /s
Slovakia has 3 years. 8 Months you get 80% of your salary. Of course you can go back to the work when you want, but if not, you have 3 years, untill your baby goes to the kindergarden.
After 8 months of 80% salary, you got child support, which is only few hundred Euros. Materniny leave can be shared between mother ans father.
Load More Replies... I love the "don't like it, don't have kids" coming from the country that is actively trying to make abortion illegal and in my opinion means taking the right to choose how a woman lives her life away. They make it seem like women always have a choice in getting pregnant, it is not always the case, you can use all the protection in the world & it still happens. Also, 12 weeks is disgusting. That is not nearly enough time for either parent to be home. More proof the US healthcare system is broken, & yes, that is healthcare. The body goes through SO much after creating & then delivering a baby, it takes a long time to heal, both physically & mentally.
Exactly! I always wonder if the "dont have kids!" crowd has thought through their own advice...like...do they realize what would happen if everyone took their "smart" advice and had no kids? Where do they think THEY came from? I get the "dont have kids until stable" comments...but to just tell people they are "stupid" or "selfish" for simply having a family is really short sighted and kind of daft.
Load More Replies... When I had my daughter, I only could be a 24/7 father two weeks (that was the standard in Spain for a father -not for a mother-) and not in a row: due to responsibility at work (and at home), I had to split them. And yes, that broke my heart for some time... but life ain't easy, right?
Luckily it changed! Now both parents get equal non transferable 4 months of leave
Load More Replies... This is absolutely heartbreaking. No mother should have to be forced to go back to work after having a baby at least for a year, unless they want to. There are a lot of things to wrong with this country, but this is absolutely disgusting. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen crying mothers at work. Most of them having left their baby right after six weeks. We seem to reward people who don’t work at all, and punish the ones who do. The U.S needs a major reform of labor laws and government assistance.
people who say just don't have kids are actually part of the problem!! Also when you say " I don't want to cover for you just because you have kids " you totally miss the point!! this is not a fight between parents and non parents! it's a fight for your rights!!! it's the company's job to find a way to cover the person and if they don't care about the parents, they will not care about you also if you need a sick leave!! it's all wrong and you shouldn't be opposite, no matter if you have kids or not! it's about your rights as workers! rights that in other countries are completely logical! By the way I don't have kids and I come from a much smaller country and not rich at all! these things are standard!
Poor thing, thinks she was lucky and privileged to get 12 weeks. It’s just barbaric by developed world standards.
Wow, yet another time I'm glad I'm NOT American. I am British. I am expecting my first child in May. I am finishing work at the end of this month, taking a month of accrued holiday and then starting my maternity leave in May. I will return to work February next year. We can take 52 weeks in UK but only the first 39 weeks are paid. My employer do full pay for 6 weeks, half pay for 20 weeks, and the final 13 weeks are Statutory Maternity Pay (SMP) which is the £151.20pw. Some employers offer better packages, some just offer the basic as stated in the article (6 weeks at 90% and then 33 weeks at £151.20pw). But all women are entitled to take up to 52 weeks off. Right now I wouldn't want to take the 52 weeks and have 13 weeks unpaid, however it's nice to know I have that flexibility to be able to do that if I'm not ready to leave the baby, and my fiancé and I can save enough money up to cope on his salary alone for that time.
Hungary has 2 years maternity leave on 80% of salary paid by the state, protection scheme that they cant fire you after returning to work, government grant to build a house (if you have 3 kids, they give you 25000 gbp handout, and another ~30000 gbp interest free government loan towards your house)... And if you have 4 kids, the mother wont have to pay income tax for the rest of their life. And people here are complaining that its a piece of sh*t and our president should be hung on a lamppost. Oh, i forgot to mention, if you have 3 kids, you can also have a government grant of ~5000 gbp towards a new 7 seater car. Its nearly impossible to please people...
Norway's system is flexible and generous. Mothers can take 49 weeks at full pay or 59 weeks at 80% pay, and fathers can take between zero and 10 weeks depending on their wives' income. Together, parents can receive an additional 46 weeks at full pay or 56 weeks at 80% of their income.
When my son was born the father got 1 day off. Officially to register their kid with the municipally. Luckily I had tons of leave piled up and could take 10 weeks paid leave. My girlfriend had the normal 13 weeks, which were extended with 6 weeks summer vacation (she was employed in education). So we were extremely lucky.
But don't want help for the woman who has given birth. The hypocrites who have stopped legislation allowing moms to stay with their children
Load More Replies... Here in Trinidad and Tobago women get 13 weeks paid maternity leave which is definitely not enough and men get no paternity leave or three days (only if the company chooses to allow it). I really think there should be some universal rule with maternity leave because this just isn't right.
In Bulgaria you have 2 years maternity leave, in the first one the state pays you 80% of the net monthly salary you received in the past 24 months before the maternity leave. The second year is at minimal wage. The father has 2 weeks payed leave after the baby is born. At the end of the two years, the mother can use accumulated payed leave days, which at minimum are 20 days per year. And the mother can take payed sick days before the birth, some even take the whole 9 months, depending on the case.
The second year compensation is set at 380 BGN for everyone, it's not tied to minimum wage.
Load More Replies... I was extremely lucky in the sense that I got to be a stay-at-home mom, I didn't have to work while I was pregnant. Looking back now, I realise that I've had chronic fatigue syndrome since I was 18, I always wondered why I was so exhausted during my pregnancy and I was only 29. We need to stop being unkind to women who choose to not have children, women who choose to have children and work, and women who choose to stay home with the kids. We all do what we have to, to take care of our families in every way we can. Stop criticising other people's choices. Having a career and having children should not be mutually exclusive.
These "critical opinions" shouldn't even be displayed. Most of them don't have any empathy.
With 12 weeks of maternity or less are you surprised the USA is raising thousands of sociopaths?
Load More Replies... LOL- people on here dumb enough to think profit-driven US businesses give a s**t about their employees or society in general. LOL!!!!! As long as corporate America continues to own CONgress, none of this will change.
I’m currently pregnant and they do 12 weeks here ONLY if you have the fmla hours. I have a disability that requires me to miss work at times so I won’t even get the full 12 weeks. 😔
These are just more examples about how much the pro-life community does not actually care about children. Where is the legislation to give paid maternity leave so mothers can be with their babies?? Oh wait, but capitalism is more important than the bond between a mother and her child.
brutal!!! thats just uncivilized. here we get up to 3 years. for the mother AND the father.
"she is privileged" to have 12 weeks? In my country you get 1 year (paid) plus after that you use your 26 days of vacation days from that year(paid)
I honestly was there I didn't know how hard it would be. I was leader in my field but had to make the decision down the road to take a less paying job and my husband who was a stay at home dad went back to working. I have 4 kids now and balance work and family better. No one can tell you how much it changes when it happens but for me it was one of working telling me I wish my mom worked less and spent more time with me when I was little. I cried so hard that day but I got it. Sometimes it takes one hard lesson to know it's Quality of life we do it for. I am so sorry it hurt you and know why you waited to say something. You weren't wrong for feeling that way it just hard.
There's a book on archive.org by George Newman written way back in 1906 called 'Infant Mortality, a social problem' that's incredibly insightful as to why moms need to be allowed to be moms. Sure, we have incubators and infant formula now, but surviving isn't necessarily thriving, and the first year is critical for maintaining healthy bodies and minds as we age. In a lot of ways, the book outlines an important historical lesson that's just as valid today.
My wife went back to work after about 12 weeks and I took paternity leave. We both really enjoyed it. Second kid we switched. Women do not HAVE to stay home, stop shaming.
The US just suck. The stories in the comments are unbelievable - asking a torn open, bleeding and lactating new mother to come into work is insane.
So, how many weeks with the child did the father get? What do you say? They couldn't even spend a week with the newborn? Missed all the "firsts" that didn't happen on a weekend? Oh.
Some people don't have maternity leave at all. I'm in the USA. At my Firm if you don't work you don't get paid and if you don't work for weeks or months.. you'll be replaced. I had my son on a Friday and was back to work that Monday. I didn't even need to take a sick day, thank god. I was answering emails while sitting next to him in the NICU. One week later he was home and I was telecommuting. And by 2 weeks post birth I was back in the office. If it wasn't for COVID he would have been with me in a rocker or something because I have my own office, but thanks to COVID I didn't want to test it. That would have been a year ago this month.
A lot of people in the USA don't even get leave. I had my baby on a Friday and was back to work on Monday. I'm not kidding. I was answering my emails while in the NICU sitting by him. I was telecommuting the first 2 weeks of his life before going back into the office and that was only because of Covid - otherwise I would have had him with me at the office but I didn't want to expose him to anything so he stayed at home with my parents. That was a year ago this month. They don't have maternity leave at this Firm. If you don't work, you get replaced.
You are so pretty, and here you look so sad. I am a Mom and I absolutely know how you must have felt. You are all the braver and stronger now time after those circumstances. I'm glad you and your family are well and happy and healthy to look back at a real struggle that makes your bond stronger. Our country is one of growth and economy driven, the family unit is not the focus here, unfortunately. Third world countries have better maternity leave benefits. Cheers to you and family!
I got 6 weeks of paid(all my vacation I saved) and two weeks unpaid when my ob refuse to allow me back due to postpartum.
The US is so ass-backwards. And 12 weeks is great, in some circumstances employers fire women, don't hold jobs and just don't care.
Mother of three here. I got one week off without pay after the birth of my child. They hired me knowing I was pregnant, knew I would have to go to medical appointments so they put me on a 5 to 2 am shift, and then I was made to feel like I was lucky they held my position for that week I spent recovering from child birth. I later left that job and joined the military. When my son died, I was given six weeks off to help deal with all that comes with that nightmare (that never seems to go away). I dont know how to feel about her having to go back to work after 12 weeks. Good for her? Sorry? Congratulations on her healthy baby? I am not beating her up. Things change over time - some for the better, some not. The primary thing is when you HAVE to make it work, you do. And then you just keep going, hoping that it is true that things wont always be like this. And on the other side of it now, things did get better. Except that death thing. Nothing changes that.
When I asked my HR department what their maternity leave policy was they said ummm... you can apply for unemployment
Load More Replies... Might be kind of unpopular to say, but I think the problem is more that we have created a system in which in order for most people to survive, they have to have 2 incomes. That is not to say that woman should be the one to stay home... just that it is sad that parents are forced to choose between living on a shoe string, or making their kids "latchkey kids" even at 2 years old. We lost something when we made "equality" mean that both parents had to live the traditionally "male" role rather than making it ok for both/all genders to choose either the work or home role. I loved the years my dad was home to raise me, even if it ended when I started school.
In most European countries ... Welcome to Belgium, were the lucky self-employed mums-to-be also get 12 weeks. It used to be even less. It's a goddam shame.
But you have the paternity leave that you can take. Everybody can take paid leave up in the first 12 years of their kids life if I am not mistaken
Load More Replies... You aren't forced to return to work. Some people take this time to stay at home for a few years.
If I had done that, we would have been on welfare.
Load More Replies... American feminists went the wrong direction. In France, they pushed for more maternity leave, not gender equality. Gender equality will get you the same amount of maternity leave as men.
Omfg! Maybe you should have had kids 20 years ago when mat leave wasn't a thing. If YOU chose to have a kid, it didn't become your employer's responsibility. Nowadays noone takes responsibility for thier actions it becomes someone elses, and then have the guts to whinge and cry to the world about your poor decisions.
People are paid to work. People are not paid to not work. Seems fair to me
With your stupid attitude, humanity would have died out long ago, because cave people would not have not supported cave women with newborns.
Load More Replies... It's bad enough when someone at my office takes two weeks off for vacation. Can't imagine having to do someone's job for up to two years because they are on maternity leave. Do I get compensated for the extra work I now have to do? Of course not.
Not how it works. Government pays mom, so employer has money to hire replacement on temporary basis.
Load More Replies... Yes, I loved unpaid leave while recovering from an emergency c-section then returning to work before I was ready! Maybe I should have stayed home on welfare.
Load More Replies... It’s tough to go back to work after a baby. She was able to take enough time off though to physically recover from birth, making her more fortunate than a lot of women. Her baby will be fine. Good quality childcare is not harmful for kids. I don’t think anyone is wrong here. It’s completely understandable that she’s upset, but her employers were generous in their policy.
Maybe part of it is just ignorance. Like I don’t have kids and 12 weeks to me sounds like enough time. I wouldn’t have guessed it wasn’t. I can see there being more time if other countries are doing it but a whole year just sounds like a lot of responsibility for an employer. Can they hire a new person? Does the government pay that money? What happens to the new person when the mom comes back? Honestly I’m just glad my companies are in fields where women don’t really even apply, because I really don’t want anything to do with that whole process.
Yes, in those countries the government usually pays most of what the parent receives during their leave, that's part of what people pay taxes for. And the company can indeed hire someone as a replacement for the duration of that leave, usually either a "full employee" with a fixed-term contract or a temp worker.
Load More Replies... And where is the reward for those who don't take advantage of the paid maternity leave--either women who can't have children or are childless by choice, or the men--who have to cover for those out having babies, all while never seeing any of that paid benefit? Perhaps they should get something for saving the company money.
Companies hire replacements. Govt pays for maternity leave. Childless people benefit because other people's children will pay their pension. That's how it works in Germany.
Load More Replies... People are paid to work. People are not paid to not work. Seems fair to me.
People pay taxes and are therefore compensated by the state during periods when they are unable to work. That's what's fair.
Load More Replies... #choices Why not be a RESPONSIBLE human being and think about the consequences of your actions? Save money and plan so you can have a family and offer your kids a decent upbringing. How about we start being AWARE and become ACCOUNTABLE for the choices we make? Connect to reality! Boo-hoo won't cut it
Or don't live in a third world country that pretends to be a first world country.....
Load More Replies... In developed countries maternity is paid by the state from taxes, the employer is not covering anything. They instead use the money they used to pay to the mother to hire a replacement until she comes back.
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