220 Hilarious Tweets About Dating That Tell The Story Of Your Life

I like her!

This deserves more up-arrow

Well. ... sadly, she's not wrong.

Well, at least they are clean. :D

Every. Date. Ever

But at the zoo, they are safely in their enclosures

I want someone to look at me, the way I look at the waiter when they are bringing out my food!

Yes tho

The wink is VERY important

lmao that's great!

hahahahha!!!!

he is so obsessed with you!

Lots and Lots of pricks!

Bwaaaahaha! I wanna see the dog!!!

And we' re not his parents. Stop bothering people

Well your honestly is admiring!

mayihavehim

can i have my fence back now?

Have to find out how it ends.

She wants someone like you. but not you.

or vice versa

I always thought that having a farting ketchup bottle was no laughing matter.

Hilarious

This one's my favorite!

I consider this a fact XD

Might not meant to be together as lovers, just as very good friends.

lmao

Oh.. Creepy..

And this is why I got off of Facebook!

I actually laughed out loud at this 😊

I'd date her :3, I'd enjoy seeing her making an effort defending her arguments

This should be waaaay up!

Newton's Third Law of Life: Over time, what you invest in a relationship tends to have an equal and opposite effect.

Your write about that! (Sorry, couldn't resist)

Ha!!! Seriously though...

Should you accidentally poke yourself in the eye before you say that, or after?

I actually laughed out loud just now! Hysterical!

i like toast. how bout you?

Me. all the time. Me.

BOOM.

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Well, if you finished high-school and still use Bae, I hope you get castrated before you procreate.

Tech: Creepy meter just reached 11! Supervisor: But it only goes to 10! All: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

wow that'll take a lot of imagination and still some plastic surgery!

DENIED!

🔥

Ha!

nice

hahahah yes!

Makes me miss the old days

I think I have about 4 and a third....

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If you're a freak, yes.

there's a day for that?

Were there bruises and fractures involved?

Be a dog :))

Language barrier is evident. He is asking if she needs Richard

I'll take sleep if he'll want me.

Oh good, I'm not the only one who looks at online dating and decides I'm good with dying alone

Nah with the right person, it's being weird together!

I would be honored if a lady took me along on a dentist appointment! Just so I didn't have to let the dentist do me, too.

clever

I will take that to heart

Disturbing. I like it.

20? Overestimating yourself a little too much?

LOL

Newton's First Law of Life: If what you are doing continues to hurt, then stop doing it, and you'll feel better about life.

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You may now deliver the punchline....