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Jimmy Fallon's hashtag game is going strong, as always. The most recent hashtag? #MarchDadness.
Just yesterday Jimmy Fallon asked his Twitter followers to tweet "the best/corniest "dad joke" your dad or someone else's dad has said", and there are already a bunch of responses. We've picked out the best ones and put them together in a list below. Keep on scrolling to take a look and don't forget to vote for your favorites!
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#2
Amanda Panda 8 years ago
When I order an entire large pizza, chicken wings, and a 2L coke, I yell "Pizza is here!" before I answer the door, so they don't know i'm going to eat all that by myself!
Sandy Rood 8 years ago
My Mom would do this! Then I did and now my kids do it! I feel so normal for once?
#4
Jason Hook 8 years ago
I'd believe that, but even the Service hates Trump. Republicans hate him, Democrats hate him, he got outvoted by 3 million...
#5
Kira Thesloth 8 years ago
My dad was hospitalized for a serious illness. The nurses would come check on him while he was sleeping, they would lean in close to check the quality if his breathing. So of course he thought it'd be funny to hold his breath until they got really close and then open his eyes and scream in their faces.
Szucs Zsuzsanna 8 years ago
Once I asked if I will be allowed to drive wearing my new glasses. They said yes. I said great, I don't have a driver's licence.... They wasn't happy.
madcow 3417 8 years ago
Something similar happened with my doctor. After a migraine I told the doctor I was no longer able to juggle. The doctor asked if I was able to before. FYI, juggling came back after a few weeks, no idea what was wrong.
Caroline Woods 8 years ago
That's what my dad said at my mom's pre-mastectomy consult. She was mortified!
#6
#7
MysticalMan 8 years ago
A good example of thinking something that's funny to you and a bad example of saying it.
#8
FlyGirl 8 years ago
My grandpa said this, along with other morbid jokes. He wanted it on his tombstone but grandma vetoed it.
Samm Nowak-Martek 8 years ago
My father used to tell me they were marble gardens. Took me years to learn tombstones are usually made of marble.
ErMerGerd ItBecky 8 years ago
My dad does this too, or "why are cementries so loud?" ...... "because of all the coffin!"
Tamra Smith 8 years ago
When we passed this one cemetery, my dad always said, "Did you know the people who live in this neighborhood, can't be buried in this cemetery?........because they are still living, duh." 🙄
Jim Connolly 8 years ago
Yep so does mine! And whenever we pass a cemetery with my father in law he always says "How many dead people in there?......All of them!"
#9
Jason Hook 8 years ago
Well, if you worked on the floor, you'd be a D**k handler. If you were the boss, you'd be a D**k head. If you get fired, you'll be D**k-less. Do you work at a big D**k or a little D**k?
#10
#11
#12
Jason Hook 8 years ago
That's not a dad joke, though. That's just a hell of a loving, caring father.
#13
Amanda Panda 8 years ago
lol I've never heard this, so I can enjoy it. I'm sure after the 100th time though it gets old
Jeffery Stricklin 8 years ago
My Dad would say......"You know what was the last thing that went through that insect's mind when he hit the windsheild? ......His A*s!" made me laugh every time.
Andrew White 8 years ago
Mine too. He's been gone 12 years, but I carry on the tradition. Every time. Hopefully my kids appreciate it . #marchdadness
#14
Victoria Vanderwall Tucker 8 years ago
My dad's favorite blanket statement was don't let the bastards get to you. This covered everything from poor customer service for waitstaff to boyfriends that were a******s.
#15
Victoria Vanderwall Tucker 8 years ago
When asked the same, my dad would say it seems like only yesterday, and you know what a b***h of a day yesterday was
#16
#17
Bernadette Circle 8 years ago
Kidnapping: stealing someone's child. Kid napping: a child sleeping during the day.
#18
#19
i_know_im_amazing 8 years ago
I prefer it just put straight in the shopping cart... then i can make a trail of milk for me to find my way back xD
Benny Lava 8 years ago
I tried that too but my neighborhood is filled with a*****e kittens.
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#20
Amanda Panda 8 years ago
At least he didn't ask you to pull his finger like my dad STILL does!
Eva Tóthová 8 years ago
my husband always yells "you farted!" and when person tries to defend (no i dodn't) he yells "and again!"
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#21
Meike Henneman 8 years ago
The suggestion is that he had a brother until he tried doing this specific thing. Now apparently the brother is no longer.
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Anja Henriksen 8 years ago
Me too haha (moms cab definitely say this too :P )
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#23
Amanda Panda 8 years ago
If I told my dad i was hungry, he'd say "oh, nice to meet you hungry, I'm Dad" *rolls eyes so hard i can see brain"
Sebastian Morkisch 8 years ago
I laughed so hard. Your joke was better, especially that part after the asterisk. :-D
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Collin Lyle 8 years ago
I always wanted to say that to the twitter trolls who liked to wield their male superiority by telling women "make me a sandwich"
#24
Jax Ashton 8 years ago
Woooow! My dad is evangelical Christian. I can't even imagine this falling out of my dad's face!
#25
#26
Ana Marques 8 years ago
My brother would say yes and just keep there saying nothing more and not calling me either...
Kazim Rahim 8 years ago
Both my parents would do that..... my friends learned really fast the correct way to get me on the was phone was "Hello Sir / Ma'am May I please speak to..."
Hyodo widger 8 years ago
s**t my brother used to do worst, when they ring the door bell, he answer through second stair window, but he doesn't look at them for like 2 mins looking at the street, then he talks back "what?", ... "you want hyodo?" and 2 other mins without moving then he talks back, "let me check", well after they are gone he tells me "some friends of yours are on the door", XD
#27
Talise Snyder 8 years ago
...why do they deserve it? You don't even know them...
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#29
#30
rakuninaru 8 years ago
Friend told her little brother our noses fell once in our lifetime and grew again. He believed her.
#31
#32
Amanda Panda 8 years ago
I have no shame in admitting i just sat at my desk and made the "Fsh" noise just to see how it sounds without the "i"
Jim Connolly 8 years ago
Oh no. This has been one of my favourite jokes for years. I'm also a dad...
Sara Zuniga 8 years ago
I had a guy call my work and buy something then at the end very seriously he asked me this question and I paused for a moment and whispered very confused "fsssshhhhh" he broke out in hysterical laughter and just hung up
#33
#34
SuperTango 8 years ago
There is no Tatum Cassidy. On an unrelated note, the first family dog has gone to medical school!
#35
#36
#37
#38
#40
JillVille Child Care 8 years ago
I do this to my kids too. The look they always give me is so funny!
Danielle Jasso 8 years ago
I do the same thing but I ask "can you call me?" And he goes "DANIELLE!!!"
Catharina Geerts 8 years ago
I'm living alone but I have a landline and a gsm; when I can't find the latter, I use the landline to make it ring. :D
Tiny Dynamine 8 years ago
After I read the last line, I looked up at her picture. I wasn't surprised.
#41
#42
Fandoms Rise 8 years ago
whenever the waiter/waitress brings the check my dad always, I mean ALWAYS says, "Oh, its her turn to pay. What do you mean you didn't bring any money?" shoving the check towards me when we go out to eat and then he takes the check sighing and says, "I have to do everything around here."
Randomcthulu 8 years ago
My boyfriend either says "I didn't order that" when the give us the check or volunteers me to wash dishes
#44
Tiny Dynamine 8 years ago
That was actually told by Bono from U2 in an interview a long time ago.
Leo Bellantoni 5 years ago
...and your friends can’t play with you anymore. That joke dates back to the 1970s at least
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#46
#47
Pinka Tyler 8 years ago
I hate that reply. Erm no, my eyeball is part of my eye. It can't be in something that it's a part of ;-)
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#50
#51
#52
Kamila Zawada 8 years ago
It should be in there! So funny when you put this together.
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It's Caturday 8 years ago
It does. You can be specifically Russian and not European.
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#54
#55
#58
Randomcthulu 8 years ago
In our family I would progress into "hi Hungry, I'm whoever" and Hungry would say "at least I can do something about it"
daniellabob 8 years ago
for me my mom would say eat your right hand and keep the left one for later!!! when I think about it now it sounds kind of vampirish, hmmmm no wonder.
#59
JillVille Child Care 8 years ago
Yep another of my dad's best ones. He still tells my kids this. They hate it, lol
Celeste Hyde 8 years ago
My dad's version: "you can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't wipe your friends on the side of the couch."
#61
Amanda Panda 8 years ago
As a fellow Amanda, I can. This person is either transitioning from MTF or FTM, and albeit Amanda is traditionally a female name, people often make the joke "you're A MAN Duh" which is a play off the name A-MAN-DA. The dad probably thought it was funny b/c in this case, he/she is either transitioning to a man, or was biologically born one.
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JillVille Child Care 8 years ago
I remember this one from when I was younger. My dad was full of these great jokes.
#65
#67
Marioara Popescu 8 years ago
This is where proper grammar is useful. If you say "my friend comes over my dad", it might be misinterpreted.
Danya Chepes 8 years ago
How mean are you to call her out, publicly shaming her for a friggin' comma? I'm an English major and understood just fine.
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Joanne Caffrey 8 years ago
It's not being mean or shaming. This girl won't even see her comment. It's more just to point out that it can be read two ways. I for one am hoping she didn't mean when her friends bust a nut all over her dad lol
#68
#69
Georgina Fisk 8 years ago
that is suuuch a GRATE pun! it really breightoned my day and made me feel a bit chedder about things rn! Although, i have to say, i am getting a bit fedap with all this scrolling, and i Camembert it much longer! I stilton't see why kids don't appreciate these jokes though
#70
#72
Nicole Grinbarg 8 years ago
It refers to a large breast hanging out of a bra cup that is too small.
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Catharina Geerts 8 years ago
Clever to think about such a line, with a sore head of a hungover. :)
#74
#76
Kennie Last 8 years ago
They can split it into swctions like every one can pay for there own meal or two seoet groups many ways actully
#80
#81
Melisa Alina 8 years ago
Every time i Say to my dad i have a headache he Said I have Bad material
#82
Evie Fick 8 years ago
That's not a joke it's the truth. My dad is bald and his showers are like 3 min
Amber Dae Ingalls 8 years ago
Yepp mine too. Never understood why my sister with thick curly hair down to her waist took forever in the shower til my step mom told him it takes awhile to wash and condition all that hair. My dad was like "well it's not my fault she has long hair!" this was during a conversation about how our shower times needed to be ten mins or under
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#85
Julia Wolfe 8 years ago
Sound so like concern for their health. I'd call that supportive.
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#87
#91
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What do you think ?
Socially Awkward 8 years ago
My dad puts his hand on my head and says: this is a brain sucker. It's starving.
Brianna Bastian 8 years ago
my dad too, i was 13 then i realised what he meant.
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susievoozie 8 years ago
one day i went christmas shopping with dad and at the check out this young woman asks dad for a card to pay for moms makeup and dad pulls one out and says:,, no...not that one, there too much money there,, here have this one.'' .-_-
Robin Fox 8 years ago
When i was young my dad took me to an ice cream parlor. When inside the ladies behind the counter had their backs to us because they were busy making ice cream for customers ahead of us. My dad says out loud, "This is a stick up" Both women dropped the ice creams, put their hands in the air and turned around, only to find out that the only "stick up" was the twig/stick my dad got from the small tree in front of the parlor, he was holding up high in the air
Claudio Simonini 8 years ago
My dad was Italian, and whenever he used his finger to ring a bell, he did it very slowly as if he expected a huge explosion.
Heather Whited 8 years ago
One day a squirrel fried itself on a transformer near our house. Power went out, next substation picked it up, blew, lights went out again. Went on like 5 times. After the power went out the last time my Dad just looked at me and said "This is the worst disco I've ever been to."
Sharron Popovich 8 years ago
Told my parents I was opting for being an organ donor. Dad said he was going to donate his heart on one condition: "That whoever gets it, has to agree to keep passing it on."
AnimalLover231 8 years ago
Kids: "How long till we get there?" Dad: "Remember when we drive to Florida? Not that long."
Socially Awkward 8 years ago
My dad puts his hand on my head and says: this is a brain sucker. It's starving.
Brianna Bastian 8 years ago
my dad too, i was 13 then i realised what he meant.
Load More Replies... susievoozie 8 years ago
one day i went christmas shopping with dad and at the check out this young woman asks dad for a card to pay for moms makeup and dad pulls one out and says:,, no...not that one, there too much money there,, here have this one.'' .-_-
Robin Fox 8 years ago
When i was young my dad took me to an ice cream parlor. When inside the ladies behind the counter had their backs to us because they were busy making ice cream for customers ahead of us. My dad says out loud, "This is a stick up" Both women dropped the ice creams, put their hands in the air and turned around, only to find out that the only "stick up" was the twig/stick my dad got from the small tree in front of the parlor, he was holding up high in the air
Claudio Simonini 8 years ago
My dad was Italian, and whenever he used his finger to ring a bell, he did it very slowly as if he expected a huge explosion.
Heather Whited 8 years ago
One day a squirrel fried itself on a transformer near our house. Power went out, next substation picked it up, blew, lights went out again. Went on like 5 times. After the power went out the last time my Dad just looked at me and said "This is the worst disco I've ever been to."
Sharron Popovich 8 years ago
Told my parents I was opting for being an organ donor. Dad said he was going to donate his heart on one condition: "That whoever gets it, has to agree to keep passing it on."
AnimalLover231 8 years ago
Kids: "How long till we get there?" Dad: "Remember when we drive to Florida? Not that long."
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