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James Breakwell is the epitome of what the Internet would call "dad goals" - though with 4 daughters to manage, he might not always feel like it. The Indianapolis-based comedy writer and family man has had Twitter enamored since April 2016, when tales of his humorous clan first went viral, and he's showing no signs of stopping - over 750 thousand followers later. Exploding Unicorn, as Breakwell's comedy platform has come to be known, is a collection of hilarious conversations between the brutally frank dad and his eccentric daughters, as well as a select few with his wife. The anecdotes are short, but together they offer a perfect snapshot of the family dynamics we all juggle in our own lives. Breakwell's first book, a hybrid of parenting advice and satire entitled Only Dead on the Inside: A Parent’s Guide to Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse, is due in October 2017. Have a look at some of James and his family's latest adventures below, and be sure not to miss our previous post about them.

More info: Exploding Unicorn, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram

#1

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Pi...
Community Member
9 years ago

I could learn a thing or twenty from this!

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RELATED:
    #2

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    I❤️My cat
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    😂😂😂

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    #3

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    Hans
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    If you approach Harry Potter novels with common sense logic, particularly your view of Dumbledore will change for ever...

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    #4

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    Pi...
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    Omg! this kid is awesome.

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    #5

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    Jeremie Guerra
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    Well, she won that candy! :)

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    #6

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    Pi...
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    Together they have a good supply and demand value chain.

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    #7

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    Jeremie Guerra
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    And the second :)

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    #8

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    Kjorn
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    social pressure! mens doesn't pressure other men to lose weight

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    #9

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    Amanda Panda
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    at least she didn't say *Evil Queen*

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    #10

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    John L
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    Now that's quick thinking on the fly. The kid's going places.

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    #11

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    I❤️My cat
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    OMG creepy 😱

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    #12

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    Christine
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    A young woman already!!

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    #13

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    Mia Rennie
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    this is me

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    #14

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    ADHORTATOR
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes..AAATAACK of the Killer Tomatoooes!..."

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    #15

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    Hans
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    Quite philosophical!

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    Never miss a story that brings joy to the world. Add us on Google

    #16

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    Notchimine Mette
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    Cool!! :)

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    #17

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    AcousticGString
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    Okay, lets be brutally fair ... you orgasmed, that was your contribution, your wife did the rest of the work.

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    #18

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    Pi...
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    Perspective!

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    #19

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    Pi...
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    You tell 'im , li'll girl!

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    #20

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    Notchimine Mette
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    LOL!

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    #21

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    Filip Debeuf
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    oohhh, tough one!

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    #22

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    Hans
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    Or probabaly just a girl to clever for fairytales!

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    #23

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    Sreejith
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    ya, may be... ;-)

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    #24

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    Mia Rennie
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    ha ha ha BURN!

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    #25

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    Heather K
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    I told my mum something similar. My delivery wasn't nearly as cutely stated, nor was her reply.

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    #26

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    Hans
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    I cannot help but imagine a snarling toddler.

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    #27

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    GlassOfWater
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    Hell yeah!

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    #28

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    Hans
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    You have to start somewhere...

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    #29

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    Pi...
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    That....is pretty brilliant!

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    #30

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    Hi_Welcome_to_Chili's
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    😂 OMG 😂

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    #31

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    Ok Ha-Neul
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    aw

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    #32

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    Pi...
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    More like Ouché :-D

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    #33

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    Jesus Wäre
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    *hoses them down in the backyard*

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    #34

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    Pi...
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    Good manners does a lady make!

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    #35

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    Jeremie Guerra
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    So true...

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    #36

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    Pepper
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    The padawan is ready.

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    #37

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    Rachel LI
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    YOU GO GIRL!

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    #38

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    Lara B.
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    Wait! Is that a pig in the background?! Please adopt me!!!!

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    #39

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    Jesus Wäre
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    The calm before the storm

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    #40

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    Pi...
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    She reminds me of the very literal alien from Guardians of the Galaxy. - Drax the Destroyer.

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    #41

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    Kristin Freudenthal
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    LOL! She's got you pegged already. You're in trouble!

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    #42

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    Sreejith
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    she took the better charector ;-)

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    #43

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    Ok Ha-Neul
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    you will never win an argument as long as you live. science!

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    #44

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    GlassOfWater
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    Ouch.

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    #45

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    Pi...
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    MOTUS

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    #46

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    Heather K
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    How do I click multiple likes?

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    #47

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    Ok Ha-Neul
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    no slytherins in this household

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    #48

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    Pepper
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    oooohhhh

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    #49

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    Koko Sempai
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    daaaaaaaaawwwww

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    #50

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    rachel smith
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    Shhh, just enjoy it

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    #51

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    Kjorn
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    his room was cool!

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    #52

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    Ok Ha-Neul
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    lol true

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    #53

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    Pi...
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    I like her logic.

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    #54

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    Notchimine Mette
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    Your floor is very clean.

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    #55

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    Nancy Arnold
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    I'm a new nana and the word no has already gone out the window and my granddaughter isn't one yet !!

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    #56

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    Chuck Bartowski
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    She has the right idea!

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    #57

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    Wezboy Zin
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    Existence is wrong!

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    #58

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    Jaclyn
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    Catching an M&M on the third try is a big win!!

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    #59

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    ADHORTATOR
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    See you in Valhalla :-)

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    #60

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    Pi...
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    That's right too!

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    #61

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    The Bee Kwami
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    love it

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    #62

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    Steffen Beth
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    You would think, you would have learned..... But.....

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    #63

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    Ok Ha-Neul
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    don't give up on getting dinosaurs it could happen

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    #64

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    Ok Ha-Neul
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    lmao

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    #65

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    The Bee Kwami
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    i' on the dad's side for this one

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    #66

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    Blue wolf
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    Kids, the ones you need to brag to about everything

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    #67

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    Pi...
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    Fair enough, Ginny.... fair enough....

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    #68

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    Ok Ha-Neul
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    need some aloe vera for that burn?

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    #69

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    Pi...
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    Of COURSE it is!

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    #70

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    Kjorn
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    this one needs to go up!

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    #71

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    piggy panda
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    so that's why babies decide not to walk makes a lot more sense to me than them not knowing?

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    #72

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    Ok Ha-Neul
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    she's building up her immune system

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    #73

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    Ok Ha-Neul
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    don't reply with k

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    #74

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    Isadora Greenberg
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    Smart girl!

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    #75

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    GlassOfWater
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    *searches french fry perfume for sale*

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    #76

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    rachel smith
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    Lol, reminds me of when i got my big brother to get sweets for me when mom said "only a handful" cause his hands were way bigger than mine

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    #77

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    Kjorn
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    omg! one is missing! Run for your life!

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    #78

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    Pi...
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    Oh! It's been re- tweeted 1,999 times.... OCDDDDDD

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    #79

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    frederic eeckman
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    4 weddings and a funeral...

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    #80

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    Katinga Bussel
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    This happened to my 22 month old on a number of occasions, then he pooped on the just cleaned rug....

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    #81

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    Ok Ha-Neul
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    what i said : children, they're interesting that way What i meant : children can find loopholes anywhere

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    #82

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    Ok Ha-Neul
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    new parents are entertainign i litterally watched one of my friends go this baby cereal expires in 3 months is it unsafe to give it to her ...

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    #83

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    Pepper
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    nice recovery!

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    #84

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    Tilda
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    #priorities

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    #85

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    Notchimine Mette
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    The same works for my cat...

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    #86

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    Hyodo widger
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    This conversation itself is a mother's day gift

    #87

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    Steffen Beth
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    That is the right priority.... :-)

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    #88

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    Fillippa Nöel
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    True

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    #89

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    Sid Ramchandani
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    It'll be so wonderful when she'll see something which is perhaps the most beautiful piece of art in the world to her.

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    #90

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    Touche
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    It's going to be a long day!

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    #91

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    Ok Ha-Neul
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    i want to have a relationship like that

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    #92

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    Amanda
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    Aww

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    #93

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    Silent Skeleton
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    Origami is awesome! I love making dogs that bark and birds that flap their wings :oD

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    #94

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    Cat Meow
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    Not anymore, I suppose

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    #95

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    Steffen Beth
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    Touche..... :-)

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    #96

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    CultOfBambi
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    The power of Christ compels you!

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    #97

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    Rikke Jakobsen
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    This is relatable

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    #98

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    COOLSKELETON95
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    well you have to get rrid of germs

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    #99

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    Brad Oleson
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    Apparently at least 4 times you didn't.

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    #100

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    Steffen Beth
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    Wait... You also have a pig.... Damn....

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    #101

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    Kjorn
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    Jedi are just Space magician

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    #102

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    Kjorn
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    mine: Cédric! don't lick the door!

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    #103

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    Kjorn
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    i just say no! even sometime when i think i might be too harsh i need to stick by it! i said no so it's no!

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    #104

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    DragonFiire
    Community Member
    7 years ago

    This stuff isn't stupid, it's amazing

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    #105

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    Pi...
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    Yaaaaaaaaabagaiyaaaaabagfkchibahaaaaaa!

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    #106

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    Sameer Rashid
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    she's going places..

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    #107

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    Ok Ha-Neul
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    bow to her highness

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    #108

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    Pi...
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    Rest in Peace.

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    #109

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    Silent Skeleton
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    But pigs are awesome

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    #110

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    Barbara Villegas
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    I See Why your girls are so smart now....He he he.

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    #111

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    Kjorn
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    yep! i clean the house first... them mom does it right

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    #112

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    Kjorn
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    if i had a dollar for each time i say something like that

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    #113

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    Andrea Seiden Giroux
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    it's true!

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    #114

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    Pat
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    "They" is the kids.

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    #115

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    M O'Connell
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    Never, ever, ever forget Elevensies. They certainly won't.

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    #116

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    Pamela Mitchell
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    I feel the pain!

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    #117

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    Sushi Smack
    Community Member
    8 years ago

    thouche indeed

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    #118

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    Venomous Sloth
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    Obviously! 😜

    #119

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    Steffen Beth
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    I hope there was a questions mark there......

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    #120

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    GlassOfWater
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    Delicious

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    #121

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    Pamela Mitchell
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    Hey, I have an adult son and we spend time at the zoo and botanical gardens. Whatever I gotta do to spend time with my 23 year old - catching Pokémon is just a bonus.

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    #122

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    Dżoana Kałuża
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    This is a moment when his wife should say: got face from mummy and brains from daddy

    #123

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    Blue wolf
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    Smart kid

    #124

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    Amanda
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    Haha

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    #125

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    rachel smith
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    They never understand

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    #126

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    Pepper
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    accurate

    #127

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    Ok Ha-Neul
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    yeah...

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    #128

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    Blue wolf
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    Such a smart child!

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    #129

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    Kjorn
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    that's a gift i get a lot

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    #130

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    Pepper
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    how you know you're raising your kids right...

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    #131

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    Kjorn
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    yeah! it's sick to see people think they're accomplished if they had the big carreer... but alone.

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    #132

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    Lola Granola
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    Ba-dum tish!

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    #133

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    Pi...
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    Sadly, the quiet ones never end up being heard. As adults!

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    #134

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    Kayla McCormick
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    Husband: you can't control me. I do what I want. Me: you do what you want... after you run it by me and I say it's ok.

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    #135

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    Lyndsay B
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    Was probably that last Jurassic park movie. No way anyone would do all that running in those heels.

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    #136

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    Ok Ha-Neul
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    well we know what you chose to do

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    #137

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    Andrea Seiden Giroux
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    it doesn't. :'(

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    #138

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    Pi...
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    A whole generation has been frozen-ified....

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    #139

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    Bway_Gonnabe11
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    im 15 and I may or may not do that xD

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    #140

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    DragonFiire
    Community Member
    7 years ago

    I love these kids

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    #141

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    Daniel Baither
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    It was a trap either way, she was leading you down a path of manipulative logic.

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    #142

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    M O'Connell
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    No hesitation: Yes, but it's an open circulatory system with hemo-lymphatic fluid instead of blood!

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    #143

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    Kawaii Lemon
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    Me: *Continues looking at all these tweets on Bored Panda*

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    #144

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    Agata Kopka
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    Just tell her, she will have more to wash if she wears them.

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    #145

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    Kjorn
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    great parenting!

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    #146

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    Pat
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    NOT!!!

    #147

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    Bway_Gonnabe11
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    and one has a full stomach

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    #148

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    Valentine Leokin
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    Can't argue with that

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    #149

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    Amanda
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    That's me 😅

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    #150

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    Amanda
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    A food critic :)

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    #151

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    Eliza
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    Maybe both- it's a team effort to evict the moles

    #152

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    Blue wolf
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    Survival of the fittest

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    #153

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    Ok Ha-Neul
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    me too hun me too

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    #154

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    rai mei
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    scooby doo bidoo~

    #155

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    Megan Lockwood
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    My sons middle name really is Danger

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    #156

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    Nickie LaRue
    Community Member
    Premium
    9 years ago

    Yes! My mom is always complaining that she doesn't see her grandson enough, that 'grandpa' never sees him, but whenever I ask her to watch him for a bit, I get a bunch of c**p about it...

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    #157

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    Ok Ha-Neul
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    not another one

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    #158

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    Pat
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    That she was listening for the moo.

    #159

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    egracec
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    My excuse is that it keeps me calm enough to deal with customers.

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    #160

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    ADHORTATOR
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    I understand you - my wife would NEVER admit that she wasn' t right...

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    #161

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    #162

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    Kjorn
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    this is real! when you clean the house the saturday and on the sunday you see no diference... you don't want to clean anymore

    #163

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    Linda Strang
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    hahaha been there.. my grandtoddler did not want to leave the Park and drive 2 blocks to my house to get her sweater. Massive tantrum. We finally get to my house, I get her sweater, put it on her, drive 2 blocks back to the Park. Massive tantrum. She doesn't want to go to the Park! She wants to go to Nana's house! LOL ---- Nana

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    #164

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    Anna Nilofer
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    My nephew tried it with cake once , He thought thats what 'cheese'cake means.

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    #165

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    Pat
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    Who's the adult?

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    #166

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    Patricia Moran
    Community Member
    7 years ago

    Especially with ice cream.

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    #167

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    Pi...
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    If only...

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    #168

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    Cat Lady
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    God yes, can I join you?

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    #169

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    Kjorn
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    and all of them up at 6h30 during the weekend

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    #170

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    Pat
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    Me/Mom has to save 20 yo son from itty bitty spider.

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    #171

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    Venomous Sloth
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    Just noticed 😹 @XplodingUnicorn 😹

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    #172

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    Blue wolf
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    LOL

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    #173

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    Andrea Seiden Giroux
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    you could tweet funny stuff the queen says

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    #174

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    LizzyM
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    You can judge by the comments on this tweet which BoredPanda-user has kids and who hasn't. No cleaning tips from me, I'm still a free spirit ✌🏼

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    #175

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    Isadora Greenberg
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    touche

    #176

    Funny Dad Tweets

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    #177

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    Kjorn
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    forgot : Patience, Money, Pride

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    #178

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    Charlene King
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    Trick question! Lol

    #179

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    Wyndmere
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    You set the bar for yourself too low.

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    #180

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    Linda Strang
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    hahaha i did that to my hubby too! :D

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    #181

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    Blue wolf
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    Indeed

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    #182

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    Wyndmere
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    You gave them 4 lovely, intelligent grand daughters.

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    #183

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    Blue wolf
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    It's a mystery

    #184

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    Kjorn
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    Papa smurfs building nuclear weapon? i know he wasn't clean.

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    #185

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    Wyndmere
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    She knows you soooo well.

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    #186

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    Cat Lady
    Community Member
    9 years ago

    A dino-firetruck!

    #187

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    #188

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    #189

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    #190

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    #191

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