Woman Gets Reported To HR For Being On Her Period, Decides To Share Her Full Story Online
As if women in the corporate world needed something else to worry about, it is now apparently inappropriate for co-workers to know that you’re on your period, especially if they’re male.
An office worker in the UK recently anonymously discussed an ordeal she endured on Mumsnet, a British parenting site. A male co-worker, hereby known as ‘Guy,’ noticed that she had a hot water bottle nestled into her lap, and jokingly asked about it. Anyone who has ever experienced the searing pain of period cramps would know why it was there, but poor Guy was out of the loop, and had to be politely informed. The man, clearly offended by the thought of a woman (gasp) menstruating in front of him, reported her to the HR department. What followed was an embarrassing conversation that we wouldn’t wish on our worst enemy.
The Internet is now outraged, mostly because none of us were aware that having a uterus was considered a medical condition. Scroll down to read the whole story for yourself, find out how people reacted, and add your own 2 cents at the end. Just make sure none of your male peers are watching, as they might assume that you, too, are suffering from the notorious period.
More info: mumsnet.com
A UK woman working in an office recently shared this outrageous story on a parenting website
People went berserk after reading it, and the replies they posted pretty much hit the nail on the head
Do you agree with these comments? Be sure to leave your opinion below
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Share on FacebookI'm honestly more angry at the HR person (who is also a woman!), because she took his side. She should've told him to grow up and get over it.
as a male. this is disgustingly stupid of that company. she wasn't exposing herself. she wasn't making it overtly obvious. and she didn't state anything clearly until an HR admin contacted her. its absolutely wrong how the company handled this and is an absolute ethics violation. (at least it would be in the US)
So many of these comments, it turns out, are NOT from the U.S. and come from countries where women have no remedies.
Load More Replies...Honestly, this "Guy" person seems like a huge jerk having some serious problem with women. Generally there is lack of personal approach in work, I hate how someone has problem with colleague and instead of talking to the person, he/she just goes to the person´s boss or HR. This is quite unsettling, because something similar happened to me more times too and it seems that is it more of a norm than exception. I personally prefer to discuss anything with concerned person even when it is not pleasant, to do otherwise is just cowardly and immature imho.
You know what? i think, that this story is about Daniel Losinger as he denies that story so much :D
Load More Replies...This 'Guy' person must have never seen a woman, or have a girlfriend... My job is mostly with men. And when I was feeling very bad because of my periods and my colleagues noticed it and asked me what was wrong, I honestly said : "Oh, sorry it's just... THAT time of the month". ALL were saying to me : " I understand. My wife/girlfriend has also a lot of problems and feels so much pain during her periods... " I was sooo surprised to see men paying attention so nicely to me... I never felt ashamed with them. Strangely, more with women...
My closest new colleague got hers on the very first day of work. We went to the bathroom together and she was like "oh no!" I offered her a menstrual pad. I make sure to have some in my drawers and in my bag in case of emergencies.
Load More Replies...Ok so, the guy is a child and the HR departmen is SUPER unprofessional. If the blood isnt on your chair, you dont have to feel uncomfortable about someone having her period, PLUS she didnt told him explicitly she was menstruation she just said "for the pain". Nice thought about maybe her needing time off bc of pain, but you ask her "do you need a pill or to go home? we can call HR and tell them if you are not feeling well today", thats just it. THATS IT. I cant really think what type of relationship he has with women.
I'm an older male. I had a mother and two wives, I have two sisters, two daughters, and a daughter-in-law. I also have female friends, many of whom share their discomfort with me. What is the big deal with "Guy"? How can he be that terrified of a woman during her time of the month that he has to call HR? The medical issue here is non compos mentis on the part of the "Guy". I definitely this this is lawsuit material. But only because murder is illegal.
Not just when confronted with an employee on their period but I have seen firsthand how pregnant women can be unfairly treated due to the fact that ignorance of the opposite sex poses a certain lack of sympathy from our male supervisors. My boss grew very impatient with my increasing need for time off for doctor's visits, even though I told him they would want to see me more frequently as my pregnancy got further along. When my doctor begged me to go on sick leave due to all the problems I was having, I refused for weeks because I was so afraid of pissing off my boss. I put my health at risk to appease my boss who simply did not have the patient or sympathy he should have had for a pregnant employee. When I finally did go on leave I was the happiest I have ever been. And we only get 6 weeks postpartum maternity leave. So when I called him to let him know I would be using my vacation time to have just one more week with my first child before handing her over to a babysitter,
he said it was selfish not to think of my coworkers but to do what I wanted. My job is solitary and no one depends on me to relieve them in any way. My absence does not hurt anyone. What did hurt was I had full respect for this man before his reaction to my medical and emotional needs as a pregnant woman. No woman should be made to feel guilty for creating life.
Load More Replies...Did Guy actually realize she was on her period or did he assume she had some gastro issue and worried that she might be contagious? It sounds to me like this whole thing could just be a communication failure surrounded by faulty assumptions.
That's what I thought too, when I actually read the conversations. She never said it was for menstrual cramps, she just said "pain". Even the HR response doesn't really mention it, and while she does say "I explained exactly what happened" she again doesn't say whether she clearly mentioned her period to the HR lady. Everybody else's lines sound a lot like they think she's actually sick. Need more info to know what to really make of this.
Load More Replies...I sincerely hope you forward this entire thread to HR. Ignore Guy, he's just a wanker, but HR seriously f****d up and need to learn their lesson.
I find it very telling that everyone saying "there's no evidence this even happened" is a male. Just an observation.
Are you kidding? I am more angry at the HR person too. It's NONE of anyones business. Guy must have hatched out of an egg.
Does that Guy know he wouldn't be here if half of the population on Earth wasn't menstruating? Or...wait...did aliens forget him here?
Am I reading it correctly? It seems like she didn't even tell her supervisor, Guy, that she's having cramps - She mentioned it was for pain relief. She only told the HR admin that she was having cramps, who then went missing after the conversation. Then she was contacted by the HR Director about her disclosure of her menstrual cramps to Guy, which made him feel uncomfortable. So, doesn't it seem like it was the HR Admin who told her supervisor of her actual condition? Shouldn't that be a bigger issue to address, the fact that HR openly disclosed the information? If anything it was HR that should be reprimanded for making the supervisor feel uncomfortable. Just an additional thought. I wholeheartedly agree that it's sexual discrimination and the supervisor should grow up about the situation, but thought I'd point out that part as well since it doesn't seem to have came up in the discussion...
I suspect that Guy figured it out on his own. or maybe he goggled it. It seems to have escalated quickly once the HR-minion got involved. Checking in to see if somebody is okay, is one thing. reminding that individual they can take a personal day might be pushing that thing a little far. calling an individual into the office because some guy got weirded out by a reply to a (potentially) inappropriate joke to keep their (fairly routine) medical conditions private is... excessive.
Load More Replies...Wow, both Guy and HR dealt with this in a very Weird way. It must be both infuriating and a little bit embarrassing, I mean to receive calls and be called into an office for something so natural and normal is beyond me. Don't they have better things to deal with? If it was me and they told me to go home, I would have switched off my computer, take my bag and say "Thank you, I will see you after 5 days". Then I would go home and spend time with my baby who will make me forget about all these crazy people in an instant.
Unfortunately I haven't met an HR person who is sane enough to know what is normal. Not sure what kind of person wants to be in HR but they don't seem rational
As a manager in an office HR should have told the guy that it was improper for him to ask why she had a hot water bottle.
What this guy did is moral harassement, also the HR did, it´s crime in Brazil.
As a man i can assure you ladies this f****n troglodyte does not represent me or most men i know, this is disgraceful, grow the f**k up "guy". If i saw you in work with your hot water bottle i would know you are on your monthly and i wouldn't mention it, instead i would ask you if you needed anything and then be on my way, why bring attention to something that doesn't need attention?. With regards to HR, i am confident that all you woman (my wife included) know exactly how to handle your period and don't need any s****y advice from "Guy" or that awful waste of time HR advisor.
Hello if anyone is wondering, I am "Guy" and I would also like to say if it is you-know-when, that is gross and you should take the day off ew girl cooties.
This is plain stupid. HR should have pulled up the guy instead for wasting everyone's time.
This is a disgusting attitude to take over a woman who has a hot water bottle in her lap! HR should be ashamed of their attitude and told this idiot to mind his own business.
That is c**p she did nothing wrong all she said was she had pain, she didn't use the word period and what was she supposed to say oh no I'm just weird oh its nothing don't worry y'know let's talk about guy over here laying on the floor and s**t in front of clients why isn't he being told off or sent home that is inappropriate not having a water bottle for pain. As for HR she could get them in trouble because now guy complained she had to go through humiliation of telling higher ups she is on a period only for them to be like well can you not, like take it out of work if its a problem which it wasn't until guy stuck his nose in.
He asked her, she did not offer up the information. She was in the privacy of her office. Does he not have a wife or girlfriend that has a period? Was he perhaps gay and not in any way prepared to deal with the natural female cycle? He apparently wasn't too uncomfortable as he was able to contact HR and discuss with them. UGH> people are so awful sometimes.
Tell Guy to get over it. My granddaughter has such severe cramps she gets sick and vomits. Ask Guy how babies are born.I get annoyed because guys call in with the runs. That grosses me out but I keep quiet.
Wow, what a dumbass Guy is. And an immature brat to boot. What the hell is it with some men still being "shocked" and "scared" over periods? They are a completely natural part of the human female anatomy. That's like being shocked, appalled and scared over the fact that men have semen floating around in their testicles.
Here in the states I have found that guys do not need to be told. Todays male that I have worked with is apologetic that they made the female say what is wrong. And all that grade school nonsense is gone. They were all adults.
For me..... Now back in the 70's and 80's..... different story.... I worked for men that thought you shouldn't be there or you are there to work and be played with. People who have not had this happen have no idea..... But I am so GLAD that the younger folks are changing the workforce attitudes against females. Just my personal experience ....
Load More Replies...I agree, she didn't even say what the problem was, she could have IBS!!! He is the one who got it in his head to have a baby boy fit!!!! Typical English Male! Still trying to control everything about a woman. Honestly, we have a*s--- here in the US asking about "being on the rag" but they don't throw us out of the office for having cramps. AND, HR shold have supported her not his hissy fit. He's totally unprofessional and I don't care what kind of performance eval he's given before, he's maneuvering to get her out of that job. Maybe he has a friend that want's it. No other reason to pull HR into the situation immediatly with his damn nose firmly in the air! (Hope he drowns)!
How Stupid of HR. I had serious problems before my hysterectomy and had to use a hot water bottle at work and I worked in a mans world !! Nothing was ever said, yes they knew i am sure but so what the bottle helped. Like this lady if clients came in it wasnt there, HR are so in the wrong here,,, and personally I would make a formal complaint...
Freaks me out to hear that in 2017 this can happen. If Guy is uncomfortable, that's his problem. Extremely unprofessional? You're talking about him complaining to HR that one of the ladies in the office has menstrual cramps and uses a water bottle for relief? 'Cause I don't see anything else extremely unprofessional happening in this story. I can't believe the woman who took his side. WTF is wrong with her?
Once upon a time I was dating a very nice lady who had an occasionally crippling cycle. We're talking ER visit bad. If I were working in an office and supervising a female co-worker and she was using a water-bottle for pain relief I'd offer her the option of burning a sick/vacation day if she wanted. That said I wouldn't involve HR.
My boss says "hi"... All i have to do is grumble in his general direction and he gets it. I'm a damn hard worker, but a couple days a month I'm a mess. Any MAN that has been NEAR a woman KNOWS... It's not easy! Even for the toughest of us!!
Maybe true for some, not all. Women are different. I do get cramps, but it never affects my mood.
Load More Replies...After having to take a day each month off for 5 months in a row for intense bleeding, terrible cramps and an accompanying migraine... with an on going doctors note i night add, my boss yelled at me he never would've hired me if he had known i had so many "health problems." Mind you he manages about 150 women a day but having a uterus is a health problem??
Hey, this is actually cool: A company that allows you to take sick days whenever you are menstruating! As for 'Guy': since he is so horrified about a woman's reproduction system he'll clearly never be able to live with a woman and hence will never procreate. Problem solved, at least int the long run.
Very simple. Gentlemanly behaviors, good manners practiced by everyone, male, female or child should eliminate this type of thing. Lack of manners, on the other hand, leaves the door open for anything becoming an issue. Very simple behave in a mannerly way. Behave with good manners. One never goes wrong when good manners rule. Now, you could be like me and ignore good manners and call the guy the schmuck he is. Oh, the word schmuck? A rude reference to the male member....you know, the male private part.
Know I'm about 7 years late BUT............. Why hasn't someone kicked this guy in his penis so he could even vaguely understand what chronic period pain feels like?
This can't be real? Are you f@%kin kidding me ? What an absolute jackazz, his dumbazz got here from a woman that went through the same thing, I'm sorry that this beautiful woman got any kind of punishment for being a woman and having to deal with cramps , I guess if some ignorant fool like this co-worker asks a stupid question about your monthly ordeals just tell him to mind his own business because people have just gotten to be really dumb here lately
She didn't even say she was on her period. Guy asked her what the water bottle was for and she said it was for pain. There was nothing explicit, unprofessional, or otherwise wrong with that. There was no reason for HR to get involved at all. But since HR did get involved, and there may have been a concern that she wasn't feeling well, they should have just let it go after she said she was fine in the email.
"Okay dude, listen up. I have a special medical condition called 'I have a uterus.' If you would like to file a complaint, go ahead and talk to half the world to complain about me having a hot water bottle in my lap due to period cramps. I bet all the women in the world would LOVE to hear about that!"
I'm 22 and having intense cramps every month is one of the reasons I'm afraid to apply for a full time job...well done 21st century 😒😒
If the stupid a*s didn't want to hear the truth, why did he ask her the question? This is not only sexual discrimination. It's sexual harassment too.
"Guy" was an idiot, but the HR person should be fired. They're lucky it wasn't me they spoke to or I would have threatened a discrimination lawsuit right there in the meeting room before I demanded an apology.
Is thre a Labor Relations Board in England. You may need some legal advise. Some c**p never changes. Human relations class when I was in USAF, women are just for secretaries and they are always having their period. I thought I would explode. I wish you well.
I hope "Guy" gives you an appropriate performance report relative to your accomplishments - NOT YOUR PERIOD! Keep notes for possible Legal Action - PERIOD!
"Guy is extremely uncomfortable, and it's unprofessional." The HR chick is right, Guy is behaving extremely childishly, and should be told to act like a professional!
I commented like 20 people commented back but. Can't find my comment to see what they said ? WTF??
It got to the point at my work where I was taking 3 days off a month for leakage and pain. I saved up my rostered days off, and sick leave for this, and went to the Dr for a certificate. After about the 5th month I myself spat the dummy, had a talk with my GP and organised it so I didn't get periods anymore. I'd have flung the damned heat pack at his stupid head. He should go home and whinge to his Mummy! Males like that drive me NUTS, he's not a man, just a being who has no common sense or empathy!
"As if women in the corporate world needed something else to worry about, it is now apparently inappropriate for co-workers to know that you’re on your period, especially if they’re male." :D :D :D Sister, it's cause it turns them on! You go giving them the weird walk lady!
Guy Lesson number one. When a woman is either PMS or on her periods stay the hell away. Try to be sympathetic without being patronizing A woman's periods are as natural as the sun rising in the east, And then comes menopause, wise up ol fruit you may eventually die of old age.This is supposed to be the age of enlightenment.
this is the kind of stupidity that is becoming more and more common in this country...
Good grief! Wait until he encounters a woman going through menopause symptoms! What a f*****g asshat and what a horrible way HR dealt with it.
So sad but unfortunately there are BROWN NOSES in all workforce thinking that if they tell tails it would look good for them, Well we have news for you you to can be replaced in a heart beat
I think a woman should have a day off for the first day, but on full pay. They deserve it for putting up with it whilst we men just winge.
There are BROWN NOSES in all work places , they think its ok but little do they know they can be replaced in a heart beat x
Guy was just concerned that his colleague was unwell and shouldn't be at work. He probably didn't even think about the cause. Not all men are focussed all the time about that part of women's anatomy. Some of us just have 'colleagues'; male or female, black, white or Asian don't come into it! Get a life!!! Be thankful he was concerned for you.
When I was in High School (many, many years ago) I had menstrual pains so bad that I could not physically get out of bed. I had a doctor's note to excuse me from school. But the Dean tore it up right in front of my face and said I was faking it. 25 years later i had a hysterectomy for endometriosis. FU Dean!! Sexual harassment at it's finest.
Seems oddly consistant everytime during a conversation between a male and a female one of them expresses what may be a legitimate concern for the others well being it gets twisted into an HR issue by one of them. This could have been a caring question and she gave a professional answer and that should have been it---but nooooo somebody had to make something of it.
I feel like proclaiming to this man, "Mate, I hate to burst your bubble but you exist because your mum was fertile and had a fully functioning uterus that came complete with a menstrual cycle!" 😛
Where does this story come from? Planet Saturn?? Seems so unreal, like we are dealing with zombies from planet Alcatraz or Saturn. Hopefully the giant spaceship will come back and pick up their moronic alien robots who are definitely not human nor are earthlings. Please go back to your zombie world. This is for the man who complained and the moronic alien HR department.
The HR rep and Guy should have common sense beaten into them!!!! Why don't people just mind their own business??? Certainly looks like a serious lawsuit waiting to happen!!
Our culture is such, that a man's comfort is put above a woman's. The office temperature is regulated for men's comfort. School dress codes target young girls with the admonition, "it distracts the boys", chairs are designed for men's bodies, 'standard' is for average height, average weight male but a woman needs 'woman's sizes', gym machines are designed with men in mind, and a unisex name is for both sexes if its a girl name (shannon, alex, kelly) but it's a girl with a boy's name if its, charlie, bobby, danny....well...you get it.
The whole interpretation is wrong. Guy was clearly worried and he didn't feel he has the authority to let her go home so he passed that on HR team. HR team were the idiots in this situation.
The fact that he asked about the hotwater bottle on her LAP is questionable. I mean why was he looking there. He has issues that should be addressed. This world makes me sick. Stick up for yourselves ladies because HR and the rest of humanity aren't going to. DANG!
Hmm I'd say i's pretty hard NOT to notice, if the person you're talking to has a hotwater bottle on their lap.
Load More Replies...Seriously guys should be used to this stuff by now,this guy acted like kids used to when they were in elementary school not wanting to get cooties.
Seriously guys should be used to this by now,he acted like how kids used to be in elementary school not wanting to get cooties.
good ones, sometimes it look like people forget where the come from.... and yeah that she got pains means she is not pregnant... and will stay at work.....
This 'Guy' needs to have a vagina for a few months....See how he feels about a hot water bottle after that.
This is so immature.. He needs to grow an learn more in life.. Not only his profession
Probably never had a live in girlfriend, so totally unaware of the normal processes a woman goes through on a monthly basis whe her "friend" comes to visit for a week or so!
Makes me wonder if this "guy" ever grew up around any females in his lifetime, or the HR grew up around any "males" in her lifetime??!! Hmmmm??!!! Makes ya wonder now, doesn't it?!
Well, I would definitely change my working place. I am having headaches, pre-, menstrual and post-menstrual pains and and extremely painful ovulation that usually last 2-3 days as well. No medication has a real effect. All this taught me to be strong, no matter what to smile and I keep being not less professional than anyone else. There are days when even driving in that condition is an extreme effort for concentration. If that was not normal I would have be in sick leave for 90% of my time.
This group's HR are a bunch of PC crazy snowflakes that obviously lack in degrees in their own field.
Idk the labor laws in England but this was def. handled poorly! I think they should have a class for the males in the office to acclimate them to reality of women's cycles. :) If she can work through the pain than surely you can handle the sight of a hot water bottle!
maybe if she actually said to the HR people 'I'm on my period, not ill, no medical issues', they wouldn't have over-reacted the way they did; you'll notice not once did she actually explain the hot water bottle, just made vague remarks for why she had it. A little explanation goes a long way and stops people leaping to conclusions. Nothing like inviting questions and not giving answers just so you can b***h and whine about it on twitter 5 minutes later.
I honestly didn’t know these issues still exist! I would have to seriously compose myself before talking to anyone of authority. When I was in the Army I had a major issue while we playing Soldier right next to camp (which contained portables, however, I was never received from my foxhole! I was really embrassed explaining that the higher ups!!
I admit my comment was an exaggeration to effect. I obviously have not taken a public opinion poll. Nevertheless period shaming is a very real phenomenon. As for working to make society better on the topic here is a newsweek article: http://www.newsweek.com/2016/04/29/womens-periods-menstruation-tampons-pads-449833.htmlhttp://www.newsweek.com/2016/04/29/womens-periods-menstruation-tampons-pads-449833.html
Ladies, you don't have to have searing pain of period cramps, use Ponstan (google it), it blocks the prostaglandins that cause the womb to cramp. And no this isn't an ad, it's just a bit of advice from a fellow lassy. Guy is a tool btw.
It doesn't work for everyone, and shouldn't be taken long term as it can cause complications, unfortunately.
Load More Replies...read this story and I wasn't even mad...I just want to make this clear before I write anything else: 1) It's not like she was fired 2) she is really playing up the whole "female on rag" stereotype which doesn't really help us females. 3) She's actually not helping her own situation at this point asides from complaining about first world problems My two cents: The article highlights a male coworker basically got her in trouble with HR because she told him she's not feeling well due to her menstrual cramps. It painted a mysogenic facade onto the male coworker in question.... It even implies that men should stay in their lane when it comes to these things since they're "ignorant" when it comes to stuff like Menstruation. However some men out there REALLY actually don't know what it's like to have cramps. Its not their fault and they should not be blamed for not being mind readers.... She did not consider perhaps the guy was honestly concerned about her wellness and decided to talk to HR
She doesn't say, but I wonder if Guy happens to be Muslim? They have real problems with women, especially menstruating women.
Oh come oooon..! Always someone who has to turn ANY subejct into a muslim issue.. *eye rolling*
Load More Replies...It is a testimony to the human condition and especially the male gender that the vast majority of men have a complete and total psychological, creative, sociological, emotional, cognitive, spiritual, anthropological, interactive apocalyptic breakdown when there even a hint of the topic of menstruation arises.
A lot of guys, but 'vast majority' is amassive exaggeration. Most guys have bought tampons without needing a trip to the psychologist ;-)
Load More Replies...PANDA PROPAGANDA .... next on panda there will be a male-female issue with not such a clear side-line ....
Hey if she wanted she could have complained about him looking in places that he shouldn't have been looking. Had hit eyes not been in her lap he wouldn't have seen the hot water bottle. Not like she was waving it over her head while giving a whooping cry like a drunk girl at a party once she starts yanking clothing off.
His eyes not hit eyes blegh.......fluent in typonese today!
Load More Replies...Hey this manager is not so bad...with an attitude like that, every women on earth would be getting paid holidays every month for 7 days. Not that bad really, when you think about it...it was actually a law in the dark ages. ;)
Notice how the people who are saying this are all men? I find that interesting. It's true though, until we hear the other side of the story we can't play executioner here. It probably did happen just as she says it did, and for the same reasons, but until we KNOW we shouldn't be calling for people's heads. I think the women are more furious because they do face some serious male idiocy about their baby-making parts and are so fed up they are (for good reason) out for blood now. No pun intended.
Load More Replies...I know of one HR manager who, if they didn't like a person (there didn't have to be a reason) they would gossip about them and spread malicious stories, usually to the top people, and then would start undermining that person which involved refusing them things like training, special leave, etc., until that person became so anxious they couldn't work. After taking a week or two off sick, on their return to work they would be called into the HR office and castigated for taking sick leave. There was no point in complaining to the Chief Executive as he was totally in with the scheme as were all of the senior staff and some of the other staff jumped on the bandwagon because they thought it would gain them brownie points. These things do happen and unfortunately it's accepted that, these days, this is how corporate organisations can be run, and no-one dared to speak out.
Load More Replies...In fact, it's the HR department here to blame, for not managing the situation professionally, by taking their time to hear and listen from both sides. However, I personally am a bit annoyed about all the taboo surrounding menstruations. Sure, you don't need to proudly display it (which she didn't do, btw), but it shouldn't be something to hide that much either. Besides that, it might even have not been from menstruation, cramps can come after eating something wrong too....
Load More Replies...Which is the case for most of the stories on BP. Better get busy posting your clever observation 8-10 times in the comment section on all of them too.
Load More Replies...I'm honestly more angry at the HR person (who is also a woman!), because she took his side. She should've told him to grow up and get over it.
as a male. this is disgustingly stupid of that company. she wasn't exposing herself. she wasn't making it overtly obvious. and she didn't state anything clearly until an HR admin contacted her. its absolutely wrong how the company handled this and is an absolute ethics violation. (at least it would be in the US)
So many of these comments, it turns out, are NOT from the U.S. and come from countries where women have no remedies.
Load More Replies...Honestly, this "Guy" person seems like a huge jerk having some serious problem with women. Generally there is lack of personal approach in work, I hate how someone has problem with colleague and instead of talking to the person, he/she just goes to the person´s boss or HR. This is quite unsettling, because something similar happened to me more times too and it seems that is it more of a norm than exception. I personally prefer to discuss anything with concerned person even when it is not pleasant, to do otherwise is just cowardly and immature imho.
You know what? i think, that this story is about Daniel Losinger as he denies that story so much :D
Load More Replies...This 'Guy' person must have never seen a woman, or have a girlfriend... My job is mostly with men. And when I was feeling very bad because of my periods and my colleagues noticed it and asked me what was wrong, I honestly said : "Oh, sorry it's just... THAT time of the month". ALL were saying to me : " I understand. My wife/girlfriend has also a lot of problems and feels so much pain during her periods... " I was sooo surprised to see men paying attention so nicely to me... I never felt ashamed with them. Strangely, more with women...
My closest new colleague got hers on the very first day of work. We went to the bathroom together and she was like "oh no!" I offered her a menstrual pad. I make sure to have some in my drawers and in my bag in case of emergencies.
Load More Replies...Ok so, the guy is a child and the HR departmen is SUPER unprofessional. If the blood isnt on your chair, you dont have to feel uncomfortable about someone having her period, PLUS she didnt told him explicitly she was menstruation she just said "for the pain". Nice thought about maybe her needing time off bc of pain, but you ask her "do you need a pill or to go home? we can call HR and tell them if you are not feeling well today", thats just it. THATS IT. I cant really think what type of relationship he has with women.
I'm an older male. I had a mother and two wives, I have two sisters, two daughters, and a daughter-in-law. I also have female friends, many of whom share their discomfort with me. What is the big deal with "Guy"? How can he be that terrified of a woman during her time of the month that he has to call HR? The medical issue here is non compos mentis on the part of the "Guy". I definitely this this is lawsuit material. But only because murder is illegal.
Not just when confronted with an employee on their period but I have seen firsthand how pregnant women can be unfairly treated due to the fact that ignorance of the opposite sex poses a certain lack of sympathy from our male supervisors. My boss grew very impatient with my increasing need for time off for doctor's visits, even though I told him they would want to see me more frequently as my pregnancy got further along. When my doctor begged me to go on sick leave due to all the problems I was having, I refused for weeks because I was so afraid of pissing off my boss. I put my health at risk to appease my boss who simply did not have the patient or sympathy he should have had for a pregnant employee. When I finally did go on leave I was the happiest I have ever been. And we only get 6 weeks postpartum maternity leave. So when I called him to let him know I would be using my vacation time to have just one more week with my first child before handing her over to a babysitter,
he said it was selfish not to think of my coworkers but to do what I wanted. My job is solitary and no one depends on me to relieve them in any way. My absence does not hurt anyone. What did hurt was I had full respect for this man before his reaction to my medical and emotional needs as a pregnant woman. No woman should be made to feel guilty for creating life.
Load More Replies...Did Guy actually realize she was on her period or did he assume she had some gastro issue and worried that she might be contagious? It sounds to me like this whole thing could just be a communication failure surrounded by faulty assumptions.
That's what I thought too, when I actually read the conversations. She never said it was for menstrual cramps, she just said "pain". Even the HR response doesn't really mention it, and while she does say "I explained exactly what happened" she again doesn't say whether she clearly mentioned her period to the HR lady. Everybody else's lines sound a lot like they think she's actually sick. Need more info to know what to really make of this.
Load More Replies...I sincerely hope you forward this entire thread to HR. Ignore Guy, he's just a wanker, but HR seriously f****d up and need to learn their lesson.
I find it very telling that everyone saying "there's no evidence this even happened" is a male. Just an observation.
Are you kidding? I am more angry at the HR person too. It's NONE of anyones business. Guy must have hatched out of an egg.
Does that Guy know he wouldn't be here if half of the population on Earth wasn't menstruating? Or...wait...did aliens forget him here?
Am I reading it correctly? It seems like she didn't even tell her supervisor, Guy, that she's having cramps - She mentioned it was for pain relief. She only told the HR admin that she was having cramps, who then went missing after the conversation. Then she was contacted by the HR Director about her disclosure of her menstrual cramps to Guy, which made him feel uncomfortable. So, doesn't it seem like it was the HR Admin who told her supervisor of her actual condition? Shouldn't that be a bigger issue to address, the fact that HR openly disclosed the information? If anything it was HR that should be reprimanded for making the supervisor feel uncomfortable. Just an additional thought. I wholeheartedly agree that it's sexual discrimination and the supervisor should grow up about the situation, but thought I'd point out that part as well since it doesn't seem to have came up in the discussion...
I suspect that Guy figured it out on his own. or maybe he goggled it. It seems to have escalated quickly once the HR-minion got involved. Checking in to see if somebody is okay, is one thing. reminding that individual they can take a personal day might be pushing that thing a little far. calling an individual into the office because some guy got weirded out by a reply to a (potentially) inappropriate joke to keep their (fairly routine) medical conditions private is... excessive.
Load More Replies...Wow, both Guy and HR dealt with this in a very Weird way. It must be both infuriating and a little bit embarrassing, I mean to receive calls and be called into an office for something so natural and normal is beyond me. Don't they have better things to deal with? If it was me and they told me to go home, I would have switched off my computer, take my bag and say "Thank you, I will see you after 5 days". Then I would go home and spend time with my baby who will make me forget about all these crazy people in an instant.
Unfortunately I haven't met an HR person who is sane enough to know what is normal. Not sure what kind of person wants to be in HR but they don't seem rational
As a manager in an office HR should have told the guy that it was improper for him to ask why she had a hot water bottle.
What this guy did is moral harassement, also the HR did, it´s crime in Brazil.
As a man i can assure you ladies this f****n troglodyte does not represent me or most men i know, this is disgraceful, grow the f**k up "guy". If i saw you in work with your hot water bottle i would know you are on your monthly and i wouldn't mention it, instead i would ask you if you needed anything and then be on my way, why bring attention to something that doesn't need attention?. With regards to HR, i am confident that all you woman (my wife included) know exactly how to handle your period and don't need any s****y advice from "Guy" or that awful waste of time HR advisor.
Hello if anyone is wondering, I am "Guy" and I would also like to say if it is you-know-when, that is gross and you should take the day off ew girl cooties.
This is plain stupid. HR should have pulled up the guy instead for wasting everyone's time.
This is a disgusting attitude to take over a woman who has a hot water bottle in her lap! HR should be ashamed of their attitude and told this idiot to mind his own business.
That is c**p she did nothing wrong all she said was she had pain, she didn't use the word period and what was she supposed to say oh no I'm just weird oh its nothing don't worry y'know let's talk about guy over here laying on the floor and s**t in front of clients why isn't he being told off or sent home that is inappropriate not having a water bottle for pain. As for HR she could get them in trouble because now guy complained she had to go through humiliation of telling higher ups she is on a period only for them to be like well can you not, like take it out of work if its a problem which it wasn't until guy stuck his nose in.
He asked her, she did not offer up the information. She was in the privacy of her office. Does he not have a wife or girlfriend that has a period? Was he perhaps gay and not in any way prepared to deal with the natural female cycle? He apparently wasn't too uncomfortable as he was able to contact HR and discuss with them. UGH> people are so awful sometimes.
Tell Guy to get over it. My granddaughter has such severe cramps she gets sick and vomits. Ask Guy how babies are born.I get annoyed because guys call in with the runs. That grosses me out but I keep quiet.
Wow, what a dumbass Guy is. And an immature brat to boot. What the hell is it with some men still being "shocked" and "scared" over periods? They are a completely natural part of the human female anatomy. That's like being shocked, appalled and scared over the fact that men have semen floating around in their testicles.
Here in the states I have found that guys do not need to be told. Todays male that I have worked with is apologetic that they made the female say what is wrong. And all that grade school nonsense is gone. They were all adults.
For me..... Now back in the 70's and 80's..... different story.... I worked for men that thought you shouldn't be there or you are there to work and be played with. People who have not had this happen have no idea..... But I am so GLAD that the younger folks are changing the workforce attitudes against females. Just my personal experience ....
Load More Replies...I agree, she didn't even say what the problem was, she could have IBS!!! He is the one who got it in his head to have a baby boy fit!!!! Typical English Male! Still trying to control everything about a woman. Honestly, we have a*s--- here in the US asking about "being on the rag" but they don't throw us out of the office for having cramps. AND, HR shold have supported her not his hissy fit. He's totally unprofessional and I don't care what kind of performance eval he's given before, he's maneuvering to get her out of that job. Maybe he has a friend that want's it. No other reason to pull HR into the situation immediatly with his damn nose firmly in the air! (Hope he drowns)!
How Stupid of HR. I had serious problems before my hysterectomy and had to use a hot water bottle at work and I worked in a mans world !! Nothing was ever said, yes they knew i am sure but so what the bottle helped. Like this lady if clients came in it wasnt there, HR are so in the wrong here,,, and personally I would make a formal complaint...
Freaks me out to hear that in 2017 this can happen. If Guy is uncomfortable, that's his problem. Extremely unprofessional? You're talking about him complaining to HR that one of the ladies in the office has menstrual cramps and uses a water bottle for relief? 'Cause I don't see anything else extremely unprofessional happening in this story. I can't believe the woman who took his side. WTF is wrong with her?
Once upon a time I was dating a very nice lady who had an occasionally crippling cycle. We're talking ER visit bad. If I were working in an office and supervising a female co-worker and she was using a water-bottle for pain relief I'd offer her the option of burning a sick/vacation day if she wanted. That said I wouldn't involve HR.
My boss says "hi"... All i have to do is grumble in his general direction and he gets it. I'm a damn hard worker, but a couple days a month I'm a mess. Any MAN that has been NEAR a woman KNOWS... It's not easy! Even for the toughest of us!!
Maybe true for some, not all. Women are different. I do get cramps, but it never affects my mood.
Load More Replies...After having to take a day each month off for 5 months in a row for intense bleeding, terrible cramps and an accompanying migraine... with an on going doctors note i night add, my boss yelled at me he never would've hired me if he had known i had so many "health problems." Mind you he manages about 150 women a day but having a uterus is a health problem??
Hey, this is actually cool: A company that allows you to take sick days whenever you are menstruating! As for 'Guy': since he is so horrified about a woman's reproduction system he'll clearly never be able to live with a woman and hence will never procreate. Problem solved, at least int the long run.
Very simple. Gentlemanly behaviors, good manners practiced by everyone, male, female or child should eliminate this type of thing. Lack of manners, on the other hand, leaves the door open for anything becoming an issue. Very simple behave in a mannerly way. Behave with good manners. One never goes wrong when good manners rule. Now, you could be like me and ignore good manners and call the guy the schmuck he is. Oh, the word schmuck? A rude reference to the male member....you know, the male private part.
Know I'm about 7 years late BUT............. Why hasn't someone kicked this guy in his penis so he could even vaguely understand what chronic period pain feels like?
This can't be real? Are you f@%kin kidding me ? What an absolute jackazz, his dumbazz got here from a woman that went through the same thing, I'm sorry that this beautiful woman got any kind of punishment for being a woman and having to deal with cramps , I guess if some ignorant fool like this co-worker asks a stupid question about your monthly ordeals just tell him to mind his own business because people have just gotten to be really dumb here lately
She didn't even say she was on her period. Guy asked her what the water bottle was for and she said it was for pain. There was nothing explicit, unprofessional, or otherwise wrong with that. There was no reason for HR to get involved at all. But since HR did get involved, and there may have been a concern that she wasn't feeling well, they should have just let it go after she said she was fine in the email.
"Okay dude, listen up. I have a special medical condition called 'I have a uterus.' If you would like to file a complaint, go ahead and talk to half the world to complain about me having a hot water bottle in my lap due to period cramps. I bet all the women in the world would LOVE to hear about that!"
I'm 22 and having intense cramps every month is one of the reasons I'm afraid to apply for a full time job...well done 21st century 😒😒
If the stupid a*s didn't want to hear the truth, why did he ask her the question? This is not only sexual discrimination. It's sexual harassment too.
"Guy" was an idiot, but the HR person should be fired. They're lucky it wasn't me they spoke to or I would have threatened a discrimination lawsuit right there in the meeting room before I demanded an apology.
Is thre a Labor Relations Board in England. You may need some legal advise. Some c**p never changes. Human relations class when I was in USAF, women are just for secretaries and they are always having their period. I thought I would explode. I wish you well.
I hope "Guy" gives you an appropriate performance report relative to your accomplishments - NOT YOUR PERIOD! Keep notes for possible Legal Action - PERIOD!
"Guy is extremely uncomfortable, and it's unprofessional." The HR chick is right, Guy is behaving extremely childishly, and should be told to act like a professional!
I commented like 20 people commented back but. Can't find my comment to see what they said ? WTF??
It got to the point at my work where I was taking 3 days off a month for leakage and pain. I saved up my rostered days off, and sick leave for this, and went to the Dr for a certificate. After about the 5th month I myself spat the dummy, had a talk with my GP and organised it so I didn't get periods anymore. I'd have flung the damned heat pack at his stupid head. He should go home and whinge to his Mummy! Males like that drive me NUTS, he's not a man, just a being who has no common sense or empathy!
"As if women in the corporate world needed something else to worry about, it is now apparently inappropriate for co-workers to know that you’re on your period, especially if they’re male." :D :D :D Sister, it's cause it turns them on! You go giving them the weird walk lady!
Guy Lesson number one. When a woman is either PMS or on her periods stay the hell away. Try to be sympathetic without being patronizing A woman's periods are as natural as the sun rising in the east, And then comes menopause, wise up ol fruit you may eventually die of old age.This is supposed to be the age of enlightenment.
this is the kind of stupidity that is becoming more and more common in this country...
Good grief! Wait until he encounters a woman going through menopause symptoms! What a f*****g asshat and what a horrible way HR dealt with it.
So sad but unfortunately there are BROWN NOSES in all workforce thinking that if they tell tails it would look good for them, Well we have news for you you to can be replaced in a heart beat
I think a woman should have a day off for the first day, but on full pay. They deserve it for putting up with it whilst we men just winge.
There are BROWN NOSES in all work places , they think its ok but little do they know they can be replaced in a heart beat x
Guy was just concerned that his colleague was unwell and shouldn't be at work. He probably didn't even think about the cause. Not all men are focussed all the time about that part of women's anatomy. Some of us just have 'colleagues'; male or female, black, white or Asian don't come into it! Get a life!!! Be thankful he was concerned for you.
When I was in High School (many, many years ago) I had menstrual pains so bad that I could not physically get out of bed. I had a doctor's note to excuse me from school. But the Dean tore it up right in front of my face and said I was faking it. 25 years later i had a hysterectomy for endometriosis. FU Dean!! Sexual harassment at it's finest.
Seems oddly consistant everytime during a conversation between a male and a female one of them expresses what may be a legitimate concern for the others well being it gets twisted into an HR issue by one of them. This could have been a caring question and she gave a professional answer and that should have been it---but nooooo somebody had to make something of it.
I feel like proclaiming to this man, "Mate, I hate to burst your bubble but you exist because your mum was fertile and had a fully functioning uterus that came complete with a menstrual cycle!" 😛
Where does this story come from? Planet Saturn?? Seems so unreal, like we are dealing with zombies from planet Alcatraz or Saturn. Hopefully the giant spaceship will come back and pick up their moronic alien robots who are definitely not human nor are earthlings. Please go back to your zombie world. This is for the man who complained and the moronic alien HR department.
The HR rep and Guy should have common sense beaten into them!!!! Why don't people just mind their own business??? Certainly looks like a serious lawsuit waiting to happen!!
Our culture is such, that a man's comfort is put above a woman's. The office temperature is regulated for men's comfort. School dress codes target young girls with the admonition, "it distracts the boys", chairs are designed for men's bodies, 'standard' is for average height, average weight male but a woman needs 'woman's sizes', gym machines are designed with men in mind, and a unisex name is for both sexes if its a girl name (shannon, alex, kelly) but it's a girl with a boy's name if its, charlie, bobby, danny....well...you get it.
The whole interpretation is wrong. Guy was clearly worried and he didn't feel he has the authority to let her go home so he passed that on HR team. HR team were the idiots in this situation.
The fact that he asked about the hotwater bottle on her LAP is questionable. I mean why was he looking there. He has issues that should be addressed. This world makes me sick. Stick up for yourselves ladies because HR and the rest of humanity aren't going to. DANG!
Hmm I'd say i's pretty hard NOT to notice, if the person you're talking to has a hotwater bottle on their lap.
Load More Replies...Seriously guys should be used to this stuff by now,this guy acted like kids used to when they were in elementary school not wanting to get cooties.
Seriously guys should be used to this by now,he acted like how kids used to be in elementary school not wanting to get cooties.
good ones, sometimes it look like people forget where the come from.... and yeah that she got pains means she is not pregnant... and will stay at work.....
This 'Guy' needs to have a vagina for a few months....See how he feels about a hot water bottle after that.
This is so immature.. He needs to grow an learn more in life.. Not only his profession
Probably never had a live in girlfriend, so totally unaware of the normal processes a woman goes through on a monthly basis whe her "friend" comes to visit for a week or so!
Makes me wonder if this "guy" ever grew up around any females in his lifetime, or the HR grew up around any "males" in her lifetime??!! Hmmmm??!!! Makes ya wonder now, doesn't it?!
Well, I would definitely change my working place. I am having headaches, pre-, menstrual and post-menstrual pains and and extremely painful ovulation that usually last 2-3 days as well. No medication has a real effect. All this taught me to be strong, no matter what to smile and I keep being not less professional than anyone else. There are days when even driving in that condition is an extreme effort for concentration. If that was not normal I would have be in sick leave for 90% of my time.
This group's HR are a bunch of PC crazy snowflakes that obviously lack in degrees in their own field.
Idk the labor laws in England but this was def. handled poorly! I think they should have a class for the males in the office to acclimate them to reality of women's cycles. :) If she can work through the pain than surely you can handle the sight of a hot water bottle!
maybe if she actually said to the HR people 'I'm on my period, not ill, no medical issues', they wouldn't have over-reacted the way they did; you'll notice not once did she actually explain the hot water bottle, just made vague remarks for why she had it. A little explanation goes a long way and stops people leaping to conclusions. Nothing like inviting questions and not giving answers just so you can b***h and whine about it on twitter 5 minutes later.
I honestly didn’t know these issues still exist! I would have to seriously compose myself before talking to anyone of authority. When I was in the Army I had a major issue while we playing Soldier right next to camp (which contained portables, however, I was never received from my foxhole! I was really embrassed explaining that the higher ups!!
I admit my comment was an exaggeration to effect. I obviously have not taken a public opinion poll. Nevertheless period shaming is a very real phenomenon. As for working to make society better on the topic here is a newsweek article: http://www.newsweek.com/2016/04/29/womens-periods-menstruation-tampons-pads-449833.htmlhttp://www.newsweek.com/2016/04/29/womens-periods-menstruation-tampons-pads-449833.html
Ladies, you don't have to have searing pain of period cramps, use Ponstan (google it), it blocks the prostaglandins that cause the womb to cramp. And no this isn't an ad, it's just a bit of advice from a fellow lassy. Guy is a tool btw.
It doesn't work for everyone, and shouldn't be taken long term as it can cause complications, unfortunately.
Load More Replies...read this story and I wasn't even mad...I just want to make this clear before I write anything else: 1) It's not like she was fired 2) she is really playing up the whole "female on rag" stereotype which doesn't really help us females. 3) She's actually not helping her own situation at this point asides from complaining about first world problems My two cents: The article highlights a male coworker basically got her in trouble with HR because she told him she's not feeling well due to her menstrual cramps. It painted a mysogenic facade onto the male coworker in question.... It even implies that men should stay in their lane when it comes to these things since they're "ignorant" when it comes to stuff like Menstruation. However some men out there REALLY actually don't know what it's like to have cramps. Its not their fault and they should not be blamed for not being mind readers.... She did not consider perhaps the guy was honestly concerned about her wellness and decided to talk to HR
She doesn't say, but I wonder if Guy happens to be Muslim? They have real problems with women, especially menstruating women.
Oh come oooon..! Always someone who has to turn ANY subejct into a muslim issue.. *eye rolling*
Load More Replies...It is a testimony to the human condition and especially the male gender that the vast majority of men have a complete and total psychological, creative, sociological, emotional, cognitive, spiritual, anthropological, interactive apocalyptic breakdown when there even a hint of the topic of menstruation arises.
A lot of guys, but 'vast majority' is amassive exaggeration. Most guys have bought tampons without needing a trip to the psychologist ;-)
Load More Replies...PANDA PROPAGANDA .... next on panda there will be a male-female issue with not such a clear side-line ....
Hey if she wanted she could have complained about him looking in places that he shouldn't have been looking. Had hit eyes not been in her lap he wouldn't have seen the hot water bottle. Not like she was waving it over her head while giving a whooping cry like a drunk girl at a party once she starts yanking clothing off.
His eyes not hit eyes blegh.......fluent in typonese today!
Load More Replies...Hey this manager is not so bad...with an attitude like that, every women on earth would be getting paid holidays every month for 7 days. Not that bad really, when you think about it...it was actually a law in the dark ages. ;)
Notice how the people who are saying this are all men? I find that interesting. It's true though, until we hear the other side of the story we can't play executioner here. It probably did happen just as she says it did, and for the same reasons, but until we KNOW we shouldn't be calling for people's heads. I think the women are more furious because they do face some serious male idiocy about their baby-making parts and are so fed up they are (for good reason) out for blood now. No pun intended.
Load More Replies...I know of one HR manager who, if they didn't like a person (there didn't have to be a reason) they would gossip about them and spread malicious stories, usually to the top people, and then would start undermining that person which involved refusing them things like training, special leave, etc., until that person became so anxious they couldn't work. After taking a week or two off sick, on their return to work they would be called into the HR office and castigated for taking sick leave. There was no point in complaining to the Chief Executive as he was totally in with the scheme as were all of the senior staff and some of the other staff jumped on the bandwagon because they thought it would gain them brownie points. These things do happen and unfortunately it's accepted that, these days, this is how corporate organisations can be run, and no-one dared to speak out.
Load More Replies...In fact, it's the HR department here to blame, for not managing the situation professionally, by taking their time to hear and listen from both sides. However, I personally am a bit annoyed about all the taboo surrounding menstruations. Sure, you don't need to proudly display it (which she didn't do, btw), but it shouldn't be something to hide that much either. Besides that, it might even have not been from menstruation, cramps can come after eating something wrong too....
Load More Replies...Which is the case for most of the stories on BP. Better get busy posting your clever observation 8-10 times in the comment section on all of them too.
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