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Woman Brings Her Own Food To A Vegan Wedding Because The Couple Didn’t Want To Cater To Her Specific Diet, Drama Ensues
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Living with a food allergy can be incredibly difficult. You always have to be on the lookout for potential danger and weigh the odds of cross-contamination. And it becomes hard to relax if you get the munchies at a public event or a fun celebration like a wedding. After all, even if a chef caters to you specifically, you can never be 100% sure that there haven’t been nuts or what you’re allergic to in the vicinity of the kitchen. And a guest eating a piece of candy and accidentally touching your glass or plate might even make you go into anaphylactic shock.
So when it comes to catering to others, you’d expect that vegans—of all people—would have a bit more sympathy for people who are extremely picky about what they eat due to health reasons. You also probably wouldn’t think that someone would bring some eggs to a vegan wedding (or that they’d cause massive drama at a celebration of love). And yet, here we are: a redditor, who has major food allergies, turned to the AITA community to share what happened when she brought egg salad to her brother’s vegan wedding.
Scroll down to read about the vegan wedding egg drama in the redditor’s own words. The story isn’t as clear-cut as you’d think, and the AITA community had a whole bunch of different reactions to it. When you’ve read the OP’s post in full, let us know what you think in the comments, dear Pandas.
RELATED:
A couple of eggs recently ended up creating some major drama
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Image credits: Summerinstantcrush
The guest, who has some severe food allergies, explained what happened at her brother’s vegan wedding when she packed a homemade meal
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Image credits: WeTV
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The OP was very clear from the get-go that she’s aware of how nuanced the situation is, and she wanted the internet to hear their side of the story. As it turns out, two eggs are the line between an amazing wedding and a celebration that ends up being ruined, for some vegan brides.
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Respect for one’s food preferences is a two-way street. The bride felt like she and her values were being disrespected by her sister-in-law. Meanwhile, the SIL who wrote the Reddit post, felt like she didn’t really have a choice but to bring her own food to the wedding, seeing as the people behind the food catering weren’t ‘professionals’ and there was no way to guarantee that there wouldn’t be any allergens in the dishes.
At the core of everything lies the question about if the OP should have just brought a simple vegan salad from her home, instead of one with eggs. She feels like she cleared the issue with her brother, the groom, beforehand. Meanwhile, on the day of the actual wedding, both the bride and groom were disappointed in the guest’s behavior. The bride even went as far as to call her SIL ‘selfish’ and accused her of ‘ruining’ the entire day.
ADVERTISEMENTA while back, Bored Pandaspoke about food allergies and what to do when dining out, with pie artist and food expert Jessica Leigh Clark-Bojin. She made it very clear that if you have life-threatening food allergies, there’s never a 0% risk when you’re dining out. The burden of responsibility, in the expert’s opinion, can’t fall just on the restaurant’s shoulders, even if there’s crystal-clear communication between them and the allergic customer. Cross-contamination is a very real possibility even if everyone involved is a seasoned chef.
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“Most restaurants will do their best to accommodate guests with specific dietary requests, but for certain life-threatening allergies, it’s not always possible due to the possibility of cross-contamination,” the pie artist told Bored Panda during an earlier interview. She stressed that there are differences between food allergies that make one uncomfortable and ones that pose an actual threat to one’s life.
“If you are lactose-intolerant and would like the restaurant to hold the cream sauce on your pasta, that’s likely no problem. If on the other hand, you have a deadly peanut allergy and would like the restaurant to hold the peanut sauce on your chicken satay, well, that’s another story,” the expert said.
“The kitchen can’t guarantee that trace amounts of the allergen will not make its way to your plate, and they (understandably) don’t want to be responsible for your anaphylaxis!” Jessica told us.
“If your allergies are so severe that they will cause you to have a spectacularly bad time should you come in contact with your triggers, it’s best if you stick to restaurants that have kitchens and menus which already exclude those items,” she said. People with allergies have to take the time to do their research about the restaurants they plan on visiting. They should also consider calling the restaurant or even going there in person to have a chat with the staff if they’re very worried about their food allergies.
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The OP explained that she didn’t get any guidelines for what food she could bring
Some people thought that the woman did absolutely nothing wrong
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However, others believe she should have packed something vegan to go match the happy couple’s food
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And then there were those who thought that nobody was blameless. Here’s what they had to say
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Storytelling, journalism, and art are a core part of who I am. I've been writing and drawing ever since I could walk—there is nothing else I'd rather do. My formal education, however, is focused on politics, philosophy, and economics because I've always been curious about the gap between the ideal and the real. At work, I'm a Senior Writer and I cover a broad range of topics that I'm passionate about: from psychology and changes in work culture to healthy living, relationships, and design. In my spare time, I'm an avid hiker and reader, enjoy writing short stories, and love to doodle. I thrive when I'm outdoors, going on small adventures in nature. However, you can also find me enjoying a big mug of coffee with a good book (or ten) and entertaining friends with fantasy tabletop games and sci-fi movies.
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Storytelling, journalism, and art are a core part of who I am. I've been writing and drawing ever since I could walk—there is nothing else I'd rather do. My formal education, however, is focused on politics, philosophy, and economics because I've always been curious about the gap between the ideal and the real. At work, I'm a Senior Writer and I cover a broad range of topics that I'm passionate about: from psychology and changes in work culture to healthy living, relationships, and design. In my spare time, I'm an avid hiker and reader, enjoy writing short stories, and love to doodle. I thrive when I'm outdoors, going on small adventures in nature. However, you can also find me enjoying a big mug of coffee with a good book (or ten) and entertaining friends with fantasy tabletop games and sci-fi movies.
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What do you think ?
Mary Rogers 3 years ago
She could have left the eggs off but at the same time the bride massively overreacted. If her eating eggs ruined her appetite and her wedding how does she even manage to function in the real world where people are eating meat products all the time? Does she scold everyone around her in other situations as well? I know many vegans are perfectly nice people but there is a certain breed that treats their dietary choices like a religion that they feel they have to force on others and it really feels like this woman may be in that category.
CatWoman312 3 years ago (edited)
I can only imagine her being one of those typical self righteous pretentious vegan jerks you know the ones who remind you of the animal that died while you eat your bacon and how you’re supporting murder. I imagine she’s that type and I can’t see their marriage lasting. I guess I’m not particularly partial to vegans though considering all my experiences with them are not good
Load More Replies... Vincent Hannah 3 years ago (edited)
I don't understand why veganism is the one kind of prejudiced A who we tolerate. Imagine someone bringing a mixed race date to a wedding and getting harangued for it being "off theme" and disgusting. Same situation. Don't try to control people, and don't worry about bacon bits in other people's salad.
Nancy Weigel 3 years ago
It's not that we hate all vegans and stuff like that, we hate a certain breed of vegans who try to force everyone to be vegan, and insult people who are just minding their own business because they see an egg.
Karen Brokken 3 years ago
Have a theme for the wedding that’s proudly announced in advance, then a guest does something that is basically a slap in the face to the theme of a very special day.
Shannan Carothers 3 years ago
But many eat egg substitutes, meat substitutes but then get made at otherd
Brando Dean 2 years ago
It's not that it was seperate food it's that it was a vegan specific event.
CatWoman312 3 years ago
I agree, but the decent vegans are the exception. Most are pretentious in some degree and it is very off putting
Karen Brokken 3 years ago
“Pretentious to some degree”? Seems you already made that decision before meeting “most” vegans. A vegan tries to say they are vegan and people get offended. That’s my experience. Other vegans I know have faced this hate when people find out they’re vegan before they’ve even had a chance to talk.
Karen Brokken 3 years ago
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I was going to say the opposite. An intolerance for people who are vegan is prejudiced. Shouldn’t tolerate that kind of hate anymore than hate directed towards interracial couples. I don’t see vegans being intolerant that way. Black Lives Matter activism is as strong as animal rights in the vegan community
Vincent Hannah 3 years ago (edited)
Except intolerance for vegans isn't a thing. Intolance towards loud, irritating vegans who tell people what to eat, and organize events specifically to make people uncomfortable, and weaponize their wedding to use as some kind of cudgel to shame people who aren't vegan is a thing... But that really has very little to do with actually being vegan.
Espen Buhaug Sveinungsen 3 years ago
You know what I would do? If anyone talked to me like that while I was eating I'd Google on YouTube on how to kill farm animals safely or something like that and make.us both watch while I enjoyed my food.that will shut them up XDDDDDDD (And I mean propper kill farm.aninlas not some f****d up bruttal killing for fun type of vids.i mean normal quick and painless type of way)
Vincent Hannah 3 years ago
No more disrespectful than attempting to weaponize your wedding as a justification to attack your friends and family lifestyle, or telling off a GUEST who came to celebrate your special day because the sack lunch that you invited her to bring was somehow offensive?
Irma 3 years ago
If she wants her vegan wedding she gets a vegan wedding. She provides the food. Its not telling people what to do it is eating what youre served. Basic respect guys. The fact that she brought her own food should be an exception tho. She is not tryinb to offend anyone she can just straight up die eating the wrong thing.
Laura Ketteridge 3 years ago
Nah, you just don't do it. The bride and groom had gone to a lot of trouble ensuring their wedding was in line with their beliefs/morality, and the groom sister rocks up with eggs. Extremely disrespectful of her. It is the equivalent of someone bring a roast pork sandwich to an Orthodox Jewish celebration. You just don't do it!
Phil Vaive 3 years ago
They didn't go to a lot of effort to make sure that the food was edible by all people, though. The brother was well aware of his sister's allergies, and rather than choose a caterer that could accommodate her allergies, he left her to fend for herself. If they couldn't respect her life or death allergies, why should she respect their decision to be vegan?
Kristina H.N. 3 years ago
Some vegans don't have issues with eggs, so where does anyone draw the line?
Vincent Hannah 3 years ago
If you eat eggs, you aren't a vegan. Vegan means no animal products like milk, cheese, butter, and the like. Eggs are squarely in that category. Even some vegetarians won't eat eggs. Of course, my dad had a "vegetarian" phase where he "only ate fish." So i see where you're coming from. People are dumb.
Marie Claire Lafreniere 3 years ago
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Ultimately eggs are vegan anyway. Commercial eggs never undergo a fertilisation process.
Karen Brokken 3 years ago
The conditions battery hens are kept in are horrendous. If you witnessed it it would likely make you think twice about supporting that industry. Not to mention the male chicks being ground up alive.
Mary Rogers 3 years ago (edited)
Marie, being vegan isn't the same as being vegetarian. Vegans don't believe in eating any products that come from animals. That not only includes eggs (fertilized or not), but also milk and even honey. They believe that eating these things amounts to exploiting animals.
AnyOtherName 3 years ago
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Because it's their wedding and she's a guest? Is it that hard for people to accommodate others for one single day without getting in a big strop that their needs weren't catered for? It's not about her. It wouldn't have been hard not to include the eggs
Random Panda 3 years ago (edited)
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The caterer was capable, but OP didn't trust her. That is OP's problem and not the groom and bride, who did what they could to accommodate her. It wouldn't have been hard to bring a meal that didn't contain animal products, or at least not in such a blatant way like putting the eggs on top of the salad.
Mary Rogers 3 years ago
Random, it wasn't a professional caterer, as stated in the post. If I had a life threatening food allergy, that would be a giant red flag for me.
Mary Rogers 3 years ago
Hazel, read it again. She specifically gave the reason why she was uncomfortable with the caterers was because they were not professionals.
Janine B. 3 years ago
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Sorry but I have to disagree. First of all they should care for ALL of their guests. And besides the OP wrote she often brought her own food which has never been a problem before. So the couple knew what to expect. Her brother even agreed she could bring her own food. As someone with lots of food allergies I totally understand the OP didn't trust the caterer. It happend too many times to me.
Hazel Hello 3 years ago
I'd say the op should have expected that she would be expected to bring vegan food to a vegan wedding. It's just common sense.
Fall F. 3 years ago
So wrong, in many levels! The "proud-vegan-assholes" were not careful enough to assure for someone else, also having special diet, a risiko-free dish. So, because you are vegan, should everybody kiss your a*s? And take it normal your idiot behavior and arrogance
Random Panda 3 years ago
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It's hilarious how you assume everyone who is critisizing OP is vegan. No, not all of us are. I just think what she did was disrespectful and she could have brought a meal that wasn't offensive to the bride at her own wedding.
Vincent Hannah 3 years ago
Listen to what you're saying. "She could have brought a MEAL that wasn't offensive to the bride." The meal was for her own consumption. If the bride chooses to take offense, that's on her.
Laura King 3 years ago
Did they also check with everyone's makeup to make sure it was not animal tested and vegan?
Nancy Weigel 3 years ago (edited)
They didn't provide proper catering to a person with a deadly allergy. If it was someone more important in the brides new life (such as her mother in law), she would have probably got a professional caterer or wouldn't have minded as much if they brought non-vegan food. She brought a vegetarian dish, she respected them enough not to bring steak or chicken, but the bride got mad. I believe the bride overreacted. If one egg is enough to ruin your wedding, then you must not be thinking about much other than if someone brings out an egg
Martine Lassen 3 years ago
Even a professional caterer can mess up and cross contamination is so sudden. Only way to be sure is to make the food yourself.
Nancy Weigel 3 years ago
Also, it was a vegan wedding. If they didn't have enough money, how did they afford all the vegan items. Red lipstick that wasn't made from beetles, nothing from China(most products from China require animal testing), no real flowers because that can harm bees pollination, not driving a car ran on petrol, you know, or else if wouldn't be a true vegan wedding, right?
Nancy Weigel 3 years ago
I didn't say OP wasn't important, but if it was someone more important (like I said, mother-in-law) the bride wouldn't have cared. Why? Because usually the mother-in-law makes or breaks a relationship. Most brides try to make the mother-in-law the happiest person there, while they don't really care as much about how the siblings, aunts, and cousins feel about them.
Hazel Hello 3 years ago
Please, tell me, how is steak or chicken worse than eggs, or more disrespectful?
Nancy Weigel 3 years ago
Eggs are vegetarian, meat is not. Meat=dead animal. Eggs=animal product that is not an alive being, and chickens lay them evey 12hrs.
QueenOf Hearts 3 years ago
Vegan opinions are not valid. Honestly the whole movement is rotten to the core and it does not surprise me in the slightest the vegan bridzilla MUST flip her lid about two measles little eggs from a meal she did not pay for, have to eat, or prepare.
Nicole Deniece 3 years ago
Unless she liked eggs in her salad, the bride could of ate her own food and gazed into the eyes of her new husband instead of worrying about what she's eating especially since they couldn't provide ONE thing for her to eat safely. And I feel like you were being sarcastic about the "certain breed" but dietary choices are related to spiritually and religion. Many are just lost to that knowledge but doesn't mean it has to be forced upon ppl. And if you believe it shouldn't be forced why state "she should of left the eggs off" if that's what she likes on her salad?
Irma 3 years ago
a soy allergy is a difficult one when eating vegan tho. It often has sog or traces of soy and the allergy as she discribes is severe. As someone with food allergies im scared of some types of food too. A few green leaves doesnt really sound like a main meal and i think the salad with eggs were more harmless than anything else she could have brought
Shea Keenan 3 years ago
That's what I'm thinking. The bride overreacted. How are they ever going to go to family events if seeing other people eat non- vegan foods throws her into a tizzy?
Katy Hickman 3 years ago
Have you met brides? I’ll admit I was a bit of a diva on my day. You get caught up in a horrible frenzy of perfection and if just one thing doesn’t go right it hurts on a weird and dumb level. Now there are some outrageous brides that go way overboard, but this bride I feel is well within her rights to be upset at SIL.
Desiree Meredith 3 years ago
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Not really. It was her wedding, not a random outing. I don't think it's hard just to NOT eat animal products for a few hours.
Fall F. 3 years ago
I don't think, it's hard just respect other people's eating choices. Do you think, you are some kind of goodness, eating vegan? I have bad news for you: in 1st world countries, like Europe, feeding your toddler vegan, is child-abuse.
Martine Lassen 3 years ago
Europe isn't a country and I really think you'd be able to feed a toddler vegan here. But you need to do it right, which is hard. A lot of vegan kids end up undernourished.
Vincent Hannah 3 years ago
She's bringing her own food anyway. She's not demanding anything from the bride/groom. It's not their business what she puts in her lunchbox. If they wanted a say, they needed to have a meal ready that she could eat.
J Matz 3 years ago
So if she is at a wedding for two omnivores, should she be forced to eat meat if it is the bride and grooms beliefs that meat is part of a well balanced diet? The biggest issue is putting people in a lose lose situation. I'm willing to bet that when my sister gets married, it'll be a vegan wedding. Then I'm forced to either abandon my beliefs (that it's not a meal without meat), bring my own meat dish, or avoid her wedding all together, making me a shmuck regardless of my decision. Quit forcing your beliefs on others!
AnyOtherName 3 years ago
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I think that's the thing non vegans don't get: to her, the eggs are morally reprehensible, having them at her wedding will have reminded her of something she finds extremely distressing (ie the belief that animals are being exploited horrifically). Her wedding day is meant to be a special day for her and her partner, not a day in the real world. I agree her reaction seems pretty OTT but I still think the guest is a bit the arsehole. Almost feels like they did it to make a point or for attention, and that's maybe how the bride perceived it.
Vincent Hannah 3 years ago (edited)
I think republicans are morally reprehensible. That said, if I go out of my way to turn my wedding into a political statement, I've crossed a line. Theme or not. That's not reasonable behavior. Themes are supposed to be fun. Just because you're having a dungeons and dragons themed wedding, doesn't mean you get to tell people what kind of underwear to bring. Same thing here. Her food for her. She likes, she eats, life goes on.
Dr. Gonzo 3 years ago (edited)
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Democrats are MUCH more morally reprehensible than Republicans could ever think of being, and if you're one of those blind, hate fueled, hypocritical, vile fcks you're willfully ignorant and don't deserve the platform you've rápêd, tortured, and killed for. Sincerely, an independent.
Mary Rogers 3 years ago
Good lord, Gonzo. That is way out of line. Democrats have "raped , killed and tortured?" And, no, I don't believe you are an Independent.
StayClassy 3 years ago
the bride *CHOSE* to be offended. She was on the lookout for something that might "ruin" her day. The bride chose her own reaction.
Night Owl 3 years ago (edited)
I agree. What particularly struck me was the bride staring at her during the whole meal. If she accidentally saw it (I don't think it was accidental) and was disgusted, she should have looked away, concentrate on her own meal or on her new husband (or on anybody or anything else there) and not on his sister and her meal. And saying a wedding is all about veganism is crazy, it's about two people coming together and celebrating their love with friends and families...or at least it should be
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Not_Tellin 3 years ago
I don't think she accidentally saw it, either. I think she was looking for it. She knew that that meal was going to be different and she was just looking for a way to nit pick.. She was just a b***h.
der sebbl 3 years ago
True, the bride overreacted but still. Bringing eggs to a vegan wedding is not thoughtful
Will sell corn chip for a soul 3 years ago
She was never informed she had to bring vegan food it was two eggs she just wanted to be able to eat a meal at her brothers wedding
LongCoolWomanInABlackDress 3 years ago
It's kind of self explanatory though when the theme is 'vegan' and the reason you can't eat their food is fear of cross contamination only. Had the caterer been a professional she would gladly have eaten the regular, vegan food, as she stated in the post.
Paula Mullen 3 years ago
I disagree, the beides personal xhoices for her diet and what is served at her wedding doesnt automatically ductate what his sister eats. Not to mention not everyone would realize that eggs might be an issue. This is just one incident in what's going to be a long list of problems for this family. Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, family BBQ, this woman is going to make everyone miserable and distance her husband from his family.
Random Panda 3 years ago (edited)
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She clearly knew the couple had planned a vegan menu and did what they could to plan an eco friendly wedding. You have to be daft not to realise you should bring a vegan-friendly meal.
Will sell corn chip for a soul 3 years ago
Well your saying this like eggs aren't eco friendly
Jennifer Harris 3 years ago
Exactly. It was not thoughtful, but it was hardly a crime. Brother is going to go mad trying to keep this chick happy!
Not_Tellin 3 years ago
And literally, the only person who noticed was the bride. That's it, nobody else said anything. That anything. Well the brother did, after wifey ran it enraged and pissed and moaned.
Hazel Hello 3 years ago
Ok, so let's just go out and insult everybody and anybody, maybe be racist to some black and Asian people, it will be **THEIR** Choice to be offended.
Laura Ketteridge 3 years ago
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And would you say the same to Orthodox Jews when someone brings pork sausages to their celebration? The bride was offended because a guest did an offensive thing.
Vincent Hannah 3 years ago
Have you ever had a meal with an Orthodox Jew? Do they get offended by people eating things they themselves refuse to eat in front of them? My experience with religious diet restrictions, (which I'll admit, I've never been to a Jewish Orthodox wedding) is that they usually think of diet as a personal choice. No?
Mary Rogers 3 years ago
Vincent, my understanding of why pork is prohibited in Judaism is that historically it often carried nasty diseases. So it is both a religious and health issue for them, but like you, I doubt they would be offended at non-Jews eating it.
Rachel Wooster 3 years ago (edited)
Vincent eating pork at an Orthodox Jewish event would be offensive. You also can't eat pork on Jewish grounds such as a synagogue. So if you brought pork onto the temple grounds it's a very big deal.
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Victoria Pitt 3 years ago
I think the vegan bride is going to have a lot of drama in her life if that's how she reacts to things not going perfectly her way. Sure, be a little annoyed but also get over yourself.
Gothica SweetHeart 3 years ago
I can only imagine how many holidays and family gatherings shes going to ruin with her veganism.
Load More Replies... Hazel Hello 3 years ago
I think her reaction is completely reasonable, it's a wedding, a very special day.
Letícia GR 3 years ago (edited)
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It's her wedding, not everyday life. And its her family, the sister in law, not any guest. I guess she expected more respect from her family. Because of the eggs, she can't say her wedding was vegan anymore and that no animals were harmed for that occasion on that none vegan food was consumed on the wedding. I guess the groom didn't specify it for the sister cause it's common sense, if you are going to a vegan wedding you eat vegan food, come on, she couldn't do it for one meal? I'm not vegan, but I get that it's almost like a religion. If you are Muslim but goes to a catholic wedding, you respect it and vice-versa, and for others religions too. Two eggs... it's almost like she putted it there intentionally, cause it would be ridiculously easy to go without those two eggs for only one meal.
Vincent Hannah 3 years ago
You respect it, insofar as what? First of all, this is why most weddings offer a choice. So that they can avoid allergies or diet restrictions. Second of all, if you're a Muslim and you go to a wedding where literally nothing meets your diet, you don't eat, and you feel bad. Third, she brought her own food from home. It was a salad. Get over it.
LEGOPernille 3 years ago
I am multiallegic... I can't eat vegan and be full... I would go cold... Without Soy, peanuts fx it is very hard to be full on vegan diet. OP and only OP knows what is good for her. And the risk of dying vs a couple of eggs... Come on thats not acceptable... It is really hard to be allegic... soy is in SO much food and unless you have tried to be really sick, don't junge...
xiao xiao 3 years ago
She could eat before or after the wedding and be fine, she wouldn't die if hunger or any allergy. I think both are assholee, the bride overreacted, the brother should've told her not to bring anything non vegan, and she should've thought that its best to remove the eggs and just eat the salad.
Load More Replies... Fat Harry 3 years ago
Why is it seen as acceptable for a vegan to specify that a wedding should be entirely vegan, even when someone brings their own food, but unacceptable for a meat-eater to insist everyone eat meat? There's a massive double standard where vegans expect everyone to kowtow to their dietary choice. If they go to someone's wedding they expect there to be a vegan option, yet when it's their own wedding they insist there's no non-vegan option for those who find vegan food to be bland or unpleasant.
Hazel Hello 3 years ago
Because meat is cruel, and vegans don't want to pay for that. Vegan food, on the other hand, is much much much much less cruel.
Vincent Hannah 3 years ago
Better example then: fantasy themed wedding with steam punk on one side and DnD on the other. You're paying for the whole shebang, of course. Person has concerns about latex and cosmetics and whatever and you agree to let them bring a suit from home. They show up in some normal boring suit that they probably had in their closet! Question: has this person RUINED your wedding? Was that selfish and disrespectful and evil? THEY KNEW you were having a fantasy themed wedding and there are "tons" of recepies online that don't have latex or whatever. All he had to do was a couple hours of reasearch, a little shopping and maybe an hour to throw it all together. How disrespectful of him!
Tiffany J 3 years ago
So shes suppose to sit and watch everyone else eat?!? The bride chose vegan but does that mean everyone in attendance was vegan?!? So its ok for the bride to force everyone to eat what she eats?!?! That marriage wont last...as soon as the hubs slips and eats something non-vegan...its a wrap!
Hazel Hello 3 years ago
I seriously don't understand comments like these... It's not like people absolutely have to have animal products in every meal, and you can have a perfectly good meal without any animal products.
Rachel Gerstner 3 years ago
You'd be surprised how easy it is. Most food we eat is already vegan. Potatoes, rice, pasta, beans, veggies, fruits, mushrooms, etc and it can be very filling. Plus many mock meats these days are soy free.
Fat Harry 3 years ago
And what happens if you don't like or can't eat much of that stuff? I can't eat quorn as a meat substitute as it'll make me hideously ill. I don't like mushrooms, I'm not a fan of beans. I don't mind a vegetarian diet: I love eggs, cheese, pasta (which is usually made with eggs, so not automatically vegan), potatoes, fruits (but not for a main meal) and carrots, but not many other veggies. It's easy to say "all this stuff is vegan!" but you have to also consider what people can't or won't eat.
The Mom Budget Natural 3 years ago
And what are you supposed to make when most of the recipes have something in it you don't like or barely eat. You only name three things on that list that I will possibly eat on a daily basis, that's the potatoes, rice and pasta what else am I going to put with it that's vegan and I can actually swallow? See that's the problem, everybody doesn't like everything, I can only imagine how it is on top of having deadly allergies.
Vincent Hannah 3 years ago (edited)
Cheese stuffed mushrooms sateed in butter are vegan? I didn't know! Oh, what, your lying, because you know perfectly well that being vegan is not easy and that's a terrible point to make? Ah. Funny?
K O 3 years ago
I'm vegan with a soy and quorn allergy - it's not hard. It's not hard to not bring eggs and it does not cause her to risk dying
Notyomama 3 years ago
Are you in the US? Because it is next to impossible here. Soy is in everything.
Rae Edwards 3 years ago
High risk that Non professional caterers may include ingredients that could cause her a reaction. It wasnt worth the risk. We are complicit in an increasingly Selfish culture. It's not hard for you so it's not hard for anyone else. Kinda not how anything works ever.
Sheila Rogge 3 years ago
Same here.... It's EGGS. You can eat SOMETHING else.... unless you guys are telling me you must eat eggs in every setting. If that's the case I feel kinda bad for your spouse. Yikes.... You do NOT need to eat meat in every meal. That's ridiculous. Then stating if she didn't she could die. Liiike whhhaaaat. Overreacting.
Fat Harry 3 years ago
Sorry, but the bride is the one overreacting. No one asked her to eat eggs. Vegans have this incredible sense of entitlement: they want everyone else to follow their diet but throw a hissy fit if others provide no vegan option for them. If you're vegan, great, that's very admirable, but your food is mostly awful.
Desiree Meredith 3 years ago
It was only for a few hours. She wasn't going to go hungry because she ate her salad without eggs in it. I've been to plenty of events where there was absolutely nothing for me to eat. I stayed, had a nice time, and, guess what, didn't die because I didn't eat for a a short few hours.
Wombat1985 3 years ago
It is bad hospitality, plain and simple. If I invite Muslims, I provide something without pork. If I invite a baby, I try to accommodate that, too. That is how hospitality works, unless I am not a completely self-centered jerk.
Rachel Wooster 3 years ago
Wombat1985 I hear you about the hospitality thing but as someone with severe food allergies I don't expect any host to provide me a main dish I can eat. I constantly have host apologizing to me for not providing this or that and I always like the salad (which was ment as a side) was wonderful and there was plenty for me and you had lots of other sides I could eat as well. It isn't bad hospitality it's the reality of severe allergies. Some of use can't even risk sides because cross-contamination.
Jennifer Harris 3 years ago
Nobody was going to die if she ate eggs, either. And if they'd asked she'd have refrained. Thoughtless I'll grant, but hardly as bad as the bride wants her to be.
Vincent Hannah 3 years ago
No, she probably wouldn't have gone hungry, but then, again, why should she accomidate the bride's "allergies" in her own, personal packed lunch? She made it for her. If she wants egg in her salad, it's her salad. The bride has no right to dictate to her what she puts in it. Also, wombat is right. There should be non-vegan options, even at a vegan wedding.
Hazel Hello 3 years ago
And, male chicks should have the right to not be blended alive, chickens should have the right to not be used as egg making machines and brutally slaughtered...
Sheila Rogge 3 years ago
LMAO I know right. These people. They are acting like meat MUST be in every meal. I think they have lack of fruit in the diet or something.
Fat Harry 3 years ago
No one mentioned meat. We're talking about eggs. And it's the double standards that are annoying: vegans expect to be catered for, but they also expect everyone to eat vegan at their own party. I don't expect meat at every meal, but I also find most vegan food pretty awful. I'm happy with vegetarian stuff: cheese, eggs, etc.
Hazel Hello 3 years ago
They're paying for their own catering, and like you said, it's their party.
Letícia GR 3 years ago
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One meal, you don't need to be full every single meal if the point is to respect your family special day. You wouldn't die without two eggs in one single meal. It's a doable sacrifice if it's for one of the most important day in your brother's life, it's it's day about the couple, to fulfill the couple dream. Its not about the sister feeling full o vegan diet, it's one single meal. What it's not acceptable is that kind of disrespect from your sister in a occasion that you worked so hard to prepare. One meal without the eggs, that's not so hard if you care about your brother.
Boblawblaslawblog 3 years ago
You're missing the point. SIL prioritized a diet or a human being. You don't know how long the wedding and party are. I, for one, am not going more than a few hours without a source of protein. Some of us can't. We'll pass out. Is that what you want? For someone's blood sugar level to spike or dive because the bridezilla gets butthurt over eggs? Really? Over eggs. Eggs. O.V.E.R. E.G.G.S. is this really the hill this brat wants to die on? FFS people. Get a grip. Human beings and relationships are more valuable than getting upset because someone was hungry and ate some eggs because the were not offered an alternative. The OP is certainly not the AH. Her brother and SIL are out of touch and high on their own farts.
Vincent Hannah 3 years ago (edited)
I mean, to be fair, whenever you have "local ladies" catering an event over an actual catering service, its rarely because the caterers couldn't pull off the menu you wanted. It was either about money or a personal connection or something similar. Nobody prioritized their diet over the SIL's life. They even gave her permission to pack in, which was the correct call. Even professionals can mess up.
Beth L 3 years ago
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Beans, hummus, nuts, sesame seeds, tahini, quinoa, vegan "cheese" substitutes, nutritional yeast, seitan, Beyond Burgers and many other veggie burger products are all soy-free vegan protein options. It isn't the bride getting butthurt O.V.E.R. E.G.G.S, it is all the "but I neeeeeed" people who think eggs are the only option.
Faye Taylor 3 years ago
Bro she’s allergic to sesame, nuts, and soy. Most of what you listed she can’t eat, and there is no way to verify that the community caterers specifically used soy free products. If your having a wedding, you should accommodate your guests, esp someone in the gd wedding party!!
Vincent Hannah 3 years ago
Oh, wow. Sesame seeds. Nutritional yeast? That's not reaching at all. Had the SIL only known. Look, its not about the eggs. She made food that the could eat, so that she could enjoy a party and support her brother. She made something that she wanted to eat. Could have been a bagel, could have been a ceasar salad, could have been a pasta salad. The point is that she isn't a vegan. Shes probably never put tahini on anything, ever, in her life. She might even be allergic to it and not know . It's ridiculous to say she should just "be a vegan" for a couple of hours. Almost as ridiculous as her saying to you that you should try living with severe allergies for a day.
Beth L 3 years ago
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It is one meal out of a lifetime. There are plenty of vegan cheeses that aren't soy based. Plenty of brands of beans that aren't co-processed with soy or peanuts. Nutritional yeast. High protein grains. Or, if you have some sort of malady where you literally will die without eating eggs every few hours, excuse yourself to your car and house those puppies in privacy.
Vincent Hannah 3 years ago (edited)
Nah. It was the brides failure to provide edible food that forced her to pack a lunch in the first place. She should eat whatever she wants and not be shamed for it by veganites. And, yes, food that is not 100% guaranteed to not kill me is my standard for what is edible. Severe food allergies are not a hangup. Worring about eggs in someone else's salad, is.
Boblawblaslawblog 3 years ago
Yes. Not to mention the brother and SILs priorities are so far out of whack it's borderline full blown comedy show. There's something wrong with people that laser focus on other's food choices and obsess over a perceived slight. Get over yourselves. It's stories like this that put off folks in the fence about changing eating habits. It ruins your cause. If you want more people to be vegan, be a good ambassador of the culture.
Angela Turrall 3 years ago (edited)
Same can be said for the Bride, it's one meal out of thousands she will be having with this family. She could have simply overlooked it for the time being and had private conversation with the OP later to say they were disappointed. Instead the bride's reaction was totally unreasonable and over the top. Hardly Eco friendly either to suggest the OP buy a bunch of products that could be used to replace cheese and egg when you'd likely never use them again. Lose lose situation. Not to even mention that the bride made the wedding about the veganism, not the love. OR that the brother is probably the one who was in the wrong by not quantifying what OP should or shouldn't bring.
Boblawblaslawblog 3 years ago
When I got married, we did a catered event, but some people brought McDonald's and Subway sandwiches. Didn't bother one bit at all. I tried to provide food that I thought everyone would enjoy. And most folks did. But some wanted to eat something different. And that was ok. The day wasn't about the food. It was about my relationship and family. The rest was background.
Vincent Hannah 3 years ago (edited)
The brides "deeply held ethical beliefs" would be relevant if the sister had expected the bride to eat her eggs. Since that isn't the case, your point is irrelevant. Holding to your beliefs, and holding everyone in your vicinity to your beliefs are two completely different things.
Boblawblaslawblog 3 years ago
You probably think women should breastfeed in the toilet too so people don't get butthurt over boobs, right?
MightySquish 3 years ago
Literally everything you've stated comes down to choice. Moral or ethics arent even a factor in veganism. It's a lifestyle choice, simple as that. Cope harder. Also weddings are about the bride and groom, which you seem to have conveniently glazed over beth. But an overattentive bride was focused on the theme of the wedding rather than the reason for the wedding. How does this not bother you? Man people are so messed up now this world is going to hell at this rate. I shouldn't have even bothered reading the comments. I knew full well that there would be people like you in the comments so im out no more for me. I've had enough of the trashy side of the internet.
Scott T Brynildsen 3 years ago
I'm going to assume no leather belts were allowed either, or leather shoes.
Mine Truly 3 years ago
Definitely. No wool, either. That was probably specified, but it's a detail that isn't relevant to OP's story.
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Jamie Mcdonald 3 years ago
What's wrong with eggs or wool? The eggs sold for food are usually unfertilized eggs so no animal is harmed. Also wool is doing a service for the animal. Have you ever seen a sheep that was never groomed? They can barely walk. I saw a video of one they found that had it's fur all matted and was carrying around an extra 50lbs of weight because of it.
Ibbygirl 3 years ago
The male chicks that are hatched are immediately killed at egg farms. They are thrown alive into grinders since they cannot lay eggs. Only the female chicks are kept. So yes there is harm and cruelty in egg farming as well. Just wanted to add that to the conversation as it may not be common knowledge.
Mary Rogers 3 years ago
I agree with you Jamie, but vegans believe that using any animal products (including milk and even honey) is exploitation of animals. So it doesn't matter that the,eggs are unfertilized to them. And I doubt that they have thought about the poor sheep. Some domesticated animals simply can no longer be let back into the wild because they would not survive. Sheep have been bred to produce massive amounts of wool and it would be cruel to not shave them.
der sebbl 3 years ago
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Ever heard the word 'whataboutism'?
Dr. Gonzo 3 years ago
Yeah, it's a word dipsh*ts use when they don't want to acknowledge a valid counterpoint, or want to try to deflect from being called out for being a fn hypocrite.
Mary Rogers 3 years ago
Except in this case it was perfectly valid to bring up these other points as they are very relevant to the issue at hand.
Andrea Wellman 3 years ago
Actually I haven't heard that term before doc. Care to enlighten, please?
S 3 years ago
Bride's a f*****g lunatic. She LET it ruin her day. She wouldn't have even noticed if she wasn't blatantly staring at her meal. If you want to let stupid s**t ruin your day, by all means, but don't let it be everyone else's problem. Good luck to the groom.
Letícia GR 3 years ago
Right, imagine an alcohol free wedding because the groom or bride is a recovering AA. Even if they didn't see that someone brought alcohol would still be disrespectful. I'm not vegan but I get that is almost religious. Now the couple, that made a lot of effort to make their wedding according to their beliefs, can't say that their wedding was vegan anymore, in other words that only vegan food was consumed, that no animals were affected for that occasion. Because of two eggs. It's almost like the sister did it on purpose, how couldnt she let out the eggs for one meal, one single meal? For one of the most important day in her brother's life? What the sister did was disrespectful, but mostly because she is family, you don't expect that kind of disrespect from your family. I think that if some other guest did it the bride would be sad, but not that sad.
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Jamie Mcdonald 3 years ago
It wasn't disrespectful at all. And they can still say no animals were harmed as like 99% of eggs are unfertilized, so therefore no animal was harmed. The wife is just a psycho. I can't stand how vegans are always trying to dictate what others eat.
Emma Q. 3 years ago
It isn't really the same thing - nobody is really in rehab for having an egg addiction. And even then - people are going to drink etc in public places even if your guests don't other people inside restaurants are gonna drink or eat food that isn't vegan. Does the bride throw all those people's food to the floor?
Boblawblaslawblog 3 years ago
The brother and SIL are delusional. They can try all they want to make the wedding."cruelty free" or vegan, but good luck policing that. Did they forbid leather garments/shoes/belts? I'm willing to bet there was leather there. Did everyone in attendance walk to and from? Or did they use cars and planes that burn fossil fuels and pollute? Did they have a moment of silence for all the animals killed (moles, mice, snakes, ground nesting birds) or displaced plowing the soybean fields? What about the fish and aquatic life destroyed by the irrigation if these crops? Or is it ok for cruelty towards those species, but not cows, chickens, and pigs? These people need to get a grip. Even IF they had a legitimate gripe for the OP to herself how she is freely allowed to chose, and even IF, they are completely blind the fact the are still perpetuating animal cruelty, they still should forgive this person, show some grace, AND MOVE ON with their lives.
Rachel Wooster 3 years ago
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Spot on answer with the alcohol reference.
Alexia Franceschi 3 years ago
No, it's not. You compare addiction, something destroying health, mental, etc... Something people CAN'T control. It's not spot on at ALL.
Andrea Wellman 3 years ago
I don't know, I'm torn. As an alcoholic in sustained recovery myself I can see where that example could be offensive. Having alcohol at a wedding for a bunch of alcoholics could mean life or death. For many of us, we know that if we drink again it will probably result in death, (or incarceration or in an instatution.) The eggs, while upsetting to the bride, had no possibility of causing her actual harm. On the other hand, I see what they are getting at with the example, that it is a big deal, and will be emotionally harmful to the bride. This comparison shows a level of seriousness I think a lot of people have been missing.
Alexia Franceschi 3 years ago
I'm sorry you are going trough this. And this is exactly why I said it's not a good example. English is not my maternal language and my comment was too short, but you explained my point perfectly. I wish you a lot of courage for what you are going trough and send you all the good vibes I have ✨
Andrea Wellman 3 years ago
Pretty sure you didn't read the comment right, because they were talking about addiction. So I'm pretty sure your snark was misplaced.
hot foot mask 3 years ago
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eggs smell. she would've noticed whether she was looking or not.
Felix Feline 3 years ago
NTA. The bride is, though, for making a guest feel shamed and miserable. A courteous host would never do such a thing.
Delilah Evil 3 years ago
I agree. It cannot be undone, presumably this is their only wedding, let it go.
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Rose the Cook 3 years ago
Would it have been so hard to provide a suitable vegan meal for a family member with such serious food allergies? Sorry, just the fact that a guest had to bring their own food to such an important occasion seems rude.
KM 3 years ago
Actually it can be really hard to provide a meal for a person with allergies this severe. It's not as simple as skipping peanuts in your pad thai, the whole kitchen needs to be very thoroughly cleaned, separate cutting boards might need to be used and so on. If they were using a small local catering company it is definitely best to have the guest bring their own food. Better safe than sorry. Or they could have ordered a separate meal from a more serious establishment but that still wouldn't remove the risk of cross-contamination.
Load More Replies... Rose the Cook 3 years ago
That is fair enough if it were a work friend or similar but for a close family member with a long term condition I find it hard to believe that no family member owns separate utensils to cater for the woman's needs. Must she always bring her own food when visiting? Just different ideas of hospitality I suppose.
Wombat1985 3 years ago
Totally agree. This is the brother and his wife telling OP that they don't actually give a s**t if she dies for their ethical values.
Rachel Wooster 3 years ago
I have severe food allergies and my family has tried to accommodate me and when I am at their house for the most part it does work. But when we go out quite often we will go someplace and I will just have to skip eating at that restaurant they chose. It's awkward and sucks and it's not like they didn't try but once you ask the waitress it becomes obvious you can't eat their even though your family thought they did their diligence in research. It is always better to be safe then in the hospital 🏥.
Andrea Wellman 3 years ago
I think with catering, especially at a small place and what seems to be some type of buffet style eating rather than plated, accommodating the sister would have been near impossible. It would have been nice though, if they had ordered her a meal from their favorite vegan place that could follow her allergy guidelines. Then they could have given her that meal while everyone else got theirs.
Lost Panda 3 years ago
She chose to bring her own as she wasn't confident in the person catering, that's fair enough
Mine Truly 3 years ago
The guest has a severe allergy and has to watch out for cross-contamination. It sounds like the bridal party checked with the caterer and determined they couldn't guarantee against cross-contamination. At that point, it's prudent to just let the allergic person make food they know is safe.
L̸1̶z̵ 3 years ago
Did the bride and groom ask their guests if they are all vegan too? Or did they just force everyone to be vegan for their wedding? I'm not vegan so I would either choose not to attend, or I'd also bring something to eat so that I get my proper diet. You cannot force people to change their dietary requirements because you think you're entitled to control their food. OP was absolutely within her right as a human to ensure she got the nutrition she needs regardless of the bride's petty rules. What an entitled twatwaffle!
Munnin 3 years ago
At an event that someone else is planning and paying for, they absolutely decide what people will eat. It's how these things work. If you don't like the menu, don't go or just don't eat. Showing up to someone's event with your own food because you don't like their menu is rude (if you can't go a few hours without your "proper diet" 🙄, then stay home). The sister has allergies, which they accommodated by allowing her to bring a meal. She knew they were both vegan, all the other guests were clearly fine eating vegan on this one day, she should have left the eggs off. If she couldn't go a few hours without eating 2 boiled eggs then she should have not attended. The bride's reaction was over the top and rude, but bringing animal products to eat at a vegan event was also rude.
Load More Replies... Vincent Hannah 3 years ago (edited)
Don't go, don't eat, *OR bring your own food and eat that. Perfectly respectable third option.
Random Panda 3 years ago (edited)
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No, it's not. It's incredibly rude, unless there are circumstances that require it - allergies or food restrictions.
Vincent Hannah 3 years ago (edited)
No. Its actually not. 40 people in a room eating whatever's on offer, 1 person pulls a bag of chips out and you think the wedding is ruined? That's idiocy. Pure and simple. If you want to pack a lunch box, go for it. As long as you don't break into it during the I do's, it's not rude at all. Glaring at someone while they eat, though? That's very rude.
Rachel Wooster 3 years ago
Let's try to remember that a vegan isn't the same as a vegetarian, it's more of a moral / lifestyle then a diet. Also it's their wedding and you are a guest. First should she have brought her own food yes because of her sever allergies. Second should it have included eggs, NO. Here are a few examples to explain why: #1 Recovered alcoholics have a alcohol free wedding, you wouldn't bring alcohol. #2 Jewish wedding and reception on temple grounds, you wouldn't bring bacon for obvious religious reasons. #3 Hindu wedding, you wouldn't bring beef of any kind for obvious religious reasons. I have severe food allergies usually their is a food option I can eat but if their isn't and I have to bring my own food I still follow the rules of the event.
Andrea Wellman 3 years ago
I'm uncomfortable with your example about bringing booze to a recovered person's wedding. Like I said earlier, I get where your going, but alcohol to an alcoholic is literally- actually, life or death. Deeply held beliefs are important, and I like your other examples, even alcohol to a dry wedding (some weddings are dry not for recovery reasons,) and I too think she shouldn't have used eggs, but the first example... Just not the same.
Rens 3 years ago
I have multiple food intolerances due to IBS (legumes including soya, lentils, chickpeas; cruciferous vegetables like cauliflower broccoli and kale; mushrooms including Quorn, nightshade family which includes tomatoes, aubergine, and potatoes; coconut flour, anything heavily processed) and some allergies (bananas) and there's no way I would feel safe eating a vegan meal at a wedding - I am not willing to risk a the agony of a digestive system reacting to any of the foods I know cause problems. I would definitely need to bring my own food; maybe I wouldn't go the wedding at all. Veganism is a choice which does not suit my diet and lifestyle. I wouldn't bring a meal with eggs in it though because boiled eggs really do stink!
Mary Rogers 3 years ago (edited)
I have IBS as well, and it is very frustrating to figure out what I can eat. I actually had previously been drifting towards a more vegetarian diet, but actually the foods that I know 100% will not cause me issues are animal products (unless they are spiced with something I can't handle). Unfortunately one thing that self-righteous vegans don't seem to get is that not everyone does well on a vegan diet, for one reason or another. I have read about people being hospitalized because they tried vegan diets that their bodies could not tolerate.
Diolla 3 years ago
@Mary: Vegetarian / borderline vegan here. Completely support what you said. Once I actually lived with a guy who WANTED to go vegetarian but he sort of wasted away on that diet. Did not even have IBS or anything but some people just need meat. I can imagine that if you have may allergies, going vegan would kill you :-).
Migdalia Ferrer 3 years ago
If i didnt like vegan food, i will skip the wedding. Its not worth risking my life. Its to dangerous.
Mary Rogers 3 years ago
She could have left the eggs off but at the same time the bride massively overreacted. If her eating eggs ruined her appetite and her wedding how does she even manage to function in the real world where people are eating meat products all the time? Does she scold everyone around her in other situations as well? I know many vegans are perfectly nice people but there is a certain breed that treats their dietary choices like a religion that they feel they have to force on others and it really feels like this woman may be in that category.
CatWoman312 3 years ago (edited)
I can only imagine her being one of those typical self righteous pretentious vegan jerks you know the ones who remind you of the animal that died while you eat your bacon and how you’re supporting murder. I imagine she’s that type and I can’t see their marriage lasting. I guess I’m not particularly partial to vegans though considering all my experiences with them are not good
Load More Replies... Vincent Hannah 3 years ago (edited)
I don't understand why veganism is the one kind of prejudiced A who we tolerate. Imagine someone bringing a mixed race date to a wedding and getting harangued for it being "off theme" and disgusting. Same situation. Don't try to control people, and don't worry about bacon bits in other people's salad.
Nancy Weigel 3 years ago
It's not that we hate all vegans and stuff like that, we hate a certain breed of vegans who try to force everyone to be vegan, and insult people who are just minding their own business because they see an egg.
Karen Brokken 3 years ago
Have a theme for the wedding that’s proudly announced in advance, then a guest does something that is basically a slap in the face to the theme of a very special day.
Shannan Carothers 3 years ago
But many eat egg substitutes, meat substitutes but then get made at otherd
Brando Dean 2 years ago
It's not that it was seperate food it's that it was a vegan specific event.
CatWoman312 3 years ago
I agree, but the decent vegans are the exception. Most are pretentious in some degree and it is very off putting
Karen Brokken 3 years ago
“Pretentious to some degree”? Seems you already made that decision before meeting “most” vegans. A vegan tries to say they are vegan and people get offended. That’s my experience. Other vegans I know have faced this hate when people find out they’re vegan before they’ve even had a chance to talk.
Karen Brokken 3 years ago
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I was going to say the opposite. An intolerance for people who are vegan is prejudiced. Shouldn’t tolerate that kind of hate anymore than hate directed towards interracial couples. I don’t see vegans being intolerant that way. Black Lives Matter activism is as strong as animal rights in the vegan community
Vincent Hannah 3 years ago (edited)
Except intolerance for vegans isn't a thing. Intolance towards loud, irritating vegans who tell people what to eat, and organize events specifically to make people uncomfortable, and weaponize their wedding to use as some kind of cudgel to shame people who aren't vegan is a thing... But that really has very little to do with actually being vegan.
Espen Buhaug Sveinungsen 3 years ago
You know what I would do? If anyone talked to me like that while I was eating I'd Google on YouTube on how to kill farm animals safely or something like that and make.us both watch while I enjoyed my food.that will shut them up XDDDDDDD (And I mean propper kill farm.aninlas not some f****d up bruttal killing for fun type of vids.i mean normal quick and painless type of way)
Vincent Hannah 3 years ago
No more disrespectful than attempting to weaponize your wedding as a justification to attack your friends and family lifestyle, or telling off a GUEST who came to celebrate your special day because the sack lunch that you invited her to bring was somehow offensive?
Irma 3 years ago
If she wants her vegan wedding she gets a vegan wedding. She provides the food. Its not telling people what to do it is eating what youre served. Basic respect guys. The fact that she brought her own food should be an exception tho. She is not tryinb to offend anyone she can just straight up die eating the wrong thing.
Laura Ketteridge 3 years ago
Nah, you just don't do it. The bride and groom had gone to a lot of trouble ensuring their wedding was in line with their beliefs/morality, and the groom sister rocks up with eggs. Extremely disrespectful of her. It is the equivalent of someone bring a roast pork sandwich to an Orthodox Jewish celebration. You just don't do it!
Phil Vaive 3 years ago
They didn't go to a lot of effort to make sure that the food was edible by all people, though. The brother was well aware of his sister's allergies, and rather than choose a caterer that could accommodate her allergies, he left her to fend for herself. If they couldn't respect her life or death allergies, why should she respect their decision to be vegan?
Kristina H.N. 3 years ago
Some vegans don't have issues with eggs, so where does anyone draw the line?
Vincent Hannah 3 years ago
If you eat eggs, you aren't a vegan. Vegan means no animal products like milk, cheese, butter, and the like. Eggs are squarely in that category. Even some vegetarians won't eat eggs. Of course, my dad had a "vegetarian" phase where he "only ate fish." So i see where you're coming from. People are dumb.
Marie Claire Lafreniere 3 years ago
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Ultimately eggs are vegan anyway. Commercial eggs never undergo a fertilisation process.
Karen Brokken 3 years ago
The conditions battery hens are kept in are horrendous. If you witnessed it it would likely make you think twice about supporting that industry. Not to mention the male chicks being ground up alive.
Mary Rogers 3 years ago (edited)
Marie, being vegan isn't the same as being vegetarian. Vegans don't believe in eating any products that come from animals. That not only includes eggs (fertilized or not), but also milk and even honey. They believe that eating these things amounts to exploiting animals.
AnyOtherName 3 years ago
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Because it's their wedding and she's a guest? Is it that hard for people to accommodate others for one single day without getting in a big strop that their needs weren't catered for? It's not about her. It wouldn't have been hard not to include the eggs
Random Panda 3 years ago (edited)
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The caterer was capable, but OP didn't trust her. That is OP's problem and not the groom and bride, who did what they could to accommodate her. It wouldn't have been hard to bring a meal that didn't contain animal products, or at least not in such a blatant way like putting the eggs on top of the salad.
Mary Rogers 3 years ago
Random, it wasn't a professional caterer, as stated in the post. If I had a life threatening food allergy, that would be a giant red flag for me.
Mary Rogers 3 years ago
Hazel, read it again. She specifically gave the reason why she was uncomfortable with the caterers was because they were not professionals.
Janine B. 3 years ago
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Sorry but I have to disagree. First of all they should care for ALL of their guests. And besides the OP wrote she often brought her own food which has never been a problem before. So the couple knew what to expect. Her brother even agreed she could bring her own food. As someone with lots of food allergies I totally understand the OP didn't trust the caterer. It happend too many times to me.
Hazel Hello 3 years ago
I'd say the op should have expected that she would be expected to bring vegan food to a vegan wedding. It's just common sense.
Fall F. 3 years ago
So wrong, in many levels! The "proud-vegan-assholes" were not careful enough to assure for someone else, also having special diet, a risiko-free dish. So, because you are vegan, should everybody kiss your a*s? And take it normal your idiot behavior and arrogance
Random Panda 3 years ago
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It's hilarious how you assume everyone who is critisizing OP is vegan. No, not all of us are. I just think what she did was disrespectful and she could have brought a meal that wasn't offensive to the bride at her own wedding.
Vincent Hannah 3 years ago
Listen to what you're saying. "She could have brought a MEAL that wasn't offensive to the bride." The meal was for her own consumption. If the bride chooses to take offense, that's on her.
Laura King 3 years ago
Did they also check with everyone's makeup to make sure it was not animal tested and vegan?
Nancy Weigel 3 years ago (edited)
They didn't provide proper catering to a person with a deadly allergy. If it was someone more important in the brides new life (such as her mother in law), she would have probably got a professional caterer or wouldn't have minded as much if they brought non-vegan food. She brought a vegetarian dish, she respected them enough not to bring steak or chicken, but the bride got mad. I believe the bride overreacted. If one egg is enough to ruin your wedding, then you must not be thinking about much other than if someone brings out an egg
Martine Lassen 3 years ago
Even a professional caterer can mess up and cross contamination is so sudden. Only way to be sure is to make the food yourself.
Nancy Weigel 3 years ago
Also, it was a vegan wedding. If they didn't have enough money, how did they afford all the vegan items. Red lipstick that wasn't made from beetles, nothing from China(most products from China require animal testing), no real flowers because that can harm bees pollination, not driving a car ran on petrol, you know, or else if wouldn't be a true vegan wedding, right?
Nancy Weigel 3 years ago
I didn't say OP wasn't important, but if it was someone more important (like I said, mother-in-law) the bride wouldn't have cared. Why? Because usually the mother-in-law makes or breaks a relationship. Most brides try to make the mother-in-law the happiest person there, while they don't really care as much about how the siblings, aunts, and cousins feel about them.
Hazel Hello 3 years ago
Please, tell me, how is steak or chicken worse than eggs, or more disrespectful?
Nancy Weigel 3 years ago
Eggs are vegetarian, meat is not. Meat=dead animal. Eggs=animal product that is not an alive being, and chickens lay them evey 12hrs.
QueenOf Hearts 3 years ago
Vegan opinions are not valid. Honestly the whole movement is rotten to the core and it does not surprise me in the slightest the vegan bridzilla MUST flip her lid about two measles little eggs from a meal she did not pay for, have to eat, or prepare.
Nicole Deniece 3 years ago
Unless she liked eggs in her salad, the bride could of ate her own food and gazed into the eyes of her new husband instead of worrying about what she's eating especially since they couldn't provide ONE thing for her to eat safely. And I feel like you were being sarcastic about the "certain breed" but dietary choices are related to spiritually and religion. Many are just lost to that knowledge but doesn't mean it has to be forced upon ppl. And if you believe it shouldn't be forced why state "she should of left the eggs off" if that's what she likes on her salad?
Irma 3 years ago
a soy allergy is a difficult one when eating vegan tho. It often has sog or traces of soy and the allergy as she discribes is severe. As someone with food allergies im scared of some types of food too. A few green leaves doesnt really sound like a main meal and i think the salad with eggs were more harmless than anything else she could have brought
Shea Keenan 3 years ago
That's what I'm thinking. The bride overreacted. How are they ever going to go to family events if seeing other people eat non- vegan foods throws her into a tizzy?
Katy Hickman 3 years ago
Have you met brides? I’ll admit I was a bit of a diva on my day. You get caught up in a horrible frenzy of perfection and if just one thing doesn’t go right it hurts on a weird and dumb level. Now there are some outrageous brides that go way overboard, but this bride I feel is well within her rights to be upset at SIL.
Desiree Meredith 3 years ago
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Not really. It was her wedding, not a random outing. I don't think it's hard just to NOT eat animal products for a few hours.
Fall F. 3 years ago
I don't think, it's hard just respect other people's eating choices. Do you think, you are some kind of goodness, eating vegan? I have bad news for you: in 1st world countries, like Europe, feeding your toddler vegan, is child-abuse.
Martine Lassen 3 years ago
Europe isn't a country and I really think you'd be able to feed a toddler vegan here. But you need to do it right, which is hard. A lot of vegan kids end up undernourished.
Vincent Hannah 3 years ago
She's bringing her own food anyway. She's not demanding anything from the bride/groom. It's not their business what she puts in her lunchbox. If they wanted a say, they needed to have a meal ready that she could eat.
J Matz 3 years ago
So if she is at a wedding for two omnivores, should she be forced to eat meat if it is the bride and grooms beliefs that meat is part of a well balanced diet? The biggest issue is putting people in a lose lose situation. I'm willing to bet that when my sister gets married, it'll be a vegan wedding. Then I'm forced to either abandon my beliefs (that it's not a meal without meat), bring my own meat dish, or avoid her wedding all together, making me a shmuck regardless of my decision. Quit forcing your beliefs on others!
AnyOtherName 3 years ago
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I think that's the thing non vegans don't get: to her, the eggs are morally reprehensible, having them at her wedding will have reminded her of something she finds extremely distressing (ie the belief that animals are being exploited horrifically). Her wedding day is meant to be a special day for her and her partner, not a day in the real world. I agree her reaction seems pretty OTT but I still think the guest is a bit the arsehole. Almost feels like they did it to make a point or for attention, and that's maybe how the bride perceived it.
Vincent Hannah 3 years ago (edited)
I think republicans are morally reprehensible. That said, if I go out of my way to turn my wedding into a political statement, I've crossed a line. Theme or not. That's not reasonable behavior. Themes are supposed to be fun. Just because you're having a dungeons and dragons themed wedding, doesn't mean you get to tell people what kind of underwear to bring. Same thing here. Her food for her. She likes, she eats, life goes on.
Dr. Gonzo 3 years ago (edited)
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Democrats are MUCH more morally reprehensible than Republicans could ever think of being, and if you're one of those blind, hate fueled, hypocritical, vile fcks you're willfully ignorant and don't deserve the platform you've rápêd, tortured, and killed for. Sincerely, an independent.
Mary Rogers 3 years ago
Good lord, Gonzo. That is way out of line. Democrats have "raped , killed and tortured?" And, no, I don't believe you are an Independent.
StayClassy 3 years ago
the bride *CHOSE* to be offended. She was on the lookout for something that might "ruin" her day. The bride chose her own reaction.
Night Owl 3 years ago (edited)
I agree. What particularly struck me was the bride staring at her during the whole meal. If she accidentally saw it (I don't think it was accidental) and was disgusted, she should have looked away, concentrate on her own meal or on her new husband (or on anybody or anything else there) and not on his sister and her meal. And saying a wedding is all about veganism is crazy, it's about two people coming together and celebrating their love with friends and families...or at least it should be
Load More Replies... Not_Tellin 3 years ago
I don't think she accidentally saw it, either. I think she was looking for it. She knew that that meal was going to be different and she was just looking for a way to nit pick.. She was just a b***h.
der sebbl 3 years ago
True, the bride overreacted but still. Bringing eggs to a vegan wedding is not thoughtful
Will sell corn chip for a soul 3 years ago
She was never informed she had to bring vegan food it was two eggs she just wanted to be able to eat a meal at her brothers wedding
LongCoolWomanInABlackDress 3 years ago
It's kind of self explanatory though when the theme is 'vegan' and the reason you can't eat their food is fear of cross contamination only. Had the caterer been a professional she would gladly have eaten the regular, vegan food, as she stated in the post.
Paula Mullen 3 years ago
I disagree, the beides personal xhoices for her diet and what is served at her wedding doesnt automatically ductate what his sister eats. Not to mention not everyone would realize that eggs might be an issue. This is just one incident in what's going to be a long list of problems for this family. Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, family BBQ, this woman is going to make everyone miserable and distance her husband from his family.
Random Panda 3 years ago (edited)
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She clearly knew the couple had planned a vegan menu and did what they could to plan an eco friendly wedding. You have to be daft not to realise you should bring a vegan-friendly meal.
Will sell corn chip for a soul 3 years ago
Well your saying this like eggs aren't eco friendly
Jennifer Harris 3 years ago
Exactly. It was not thoughtful, but it was hardly a crime. Brother is going to go mad trying to keep this chick happy!
Not_Tellin 3 years ago
And literally, the only person who noticed was the bride. That's it, nobody else said anything. That anything. Well the brother did, after wifey ran it enraged and pissed and moaned.
Hazel Hello 3 years ago
Ok, so let's just go out and insult everybody and anybody, maybe be racist to some black and Asian people, it will be **THEIR** Choice to be offended.
Laura Ketteridge 3 years ago
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And would you say the same to Orthodox Jews when someone brings pork sausages to their celebration? The bride was offended because a guest did an offensive thing.
Vincent Hannah 3 years ago
Have you ever had a meal with an Orthodox Jew? Do they get offended by people eating things they themselves refuse to eat in front of them? My experience with religious diet restrictions, (which I'll admit, I've never been to a Jewish Orthodox wedding) is that they usually think of diet as a personal choice. No?
Mary Rogers 3 years ago
Vincent, my understanding of why pork is prohibited in Judaism is that historically it often carried nasty diseases. So it is both a religious and health issue for them, but like you, I doubt they would be offended at non-Jews eating it.
Rachel Wooster 3 years ago (edited)
Vincent eating pork at an Orthodox Jewish event would be offensive. You also can't eat pork on Jewish grounds such as a synagogue. So if you brought pork onto the temple grounds it's a very big deal.
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Victoria Pitt 3 years ago
I think the vegan bride is going to have a lot of drama in her life if that's how she reacts to things not going perfectly her way. Sure, be a little annoyed but also get over yourself.
Gothica SweetHeart 3 years ago
I can only imagine how many holidays and family gatherings shes going to ruin with her veganism.
Load More Replies... Hazel Hello 3 years ago
I think her reaction is completely reasonable, it's a wedding, a very special day.
Letícia GR 3 years ago (edited)
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It's her wedding, not everyday life. And its her family, the sister in law, not any guest. I guess she expected more respect from her family. Because of the eggs, she can't say her wedding was vegan anymore and that no animals were harmed for that occasion on that none vegan food was consumed on the wedding. I guess the groom didn't specify it for the sister cause it's common sense, if you are going to a vegan wedding you eat vegan food, come on, she couldn't do it for one meal? I'm not vegan, but I get that it's almost like a religion. If you are Muslim but goes to a catholic wedding, you respect it and vice-versa, and for others religions too. Two eggs... it's almost like she putted it there intentionally, cause it would be ridiculously easy to go without those two eggs for only one meal.
Vincent Hannah 3 years ago
You respect it, insofar as what? First of all, this is why most weddings offer a choice. So that they can avoid allergies or diet restrictions. Second of all, if you're a Muslim and you go to a wedding where literally nothing meets your diet, you don't eat, and you feel bad. Third, she brought her own food from home. It was a salad. Get over it.
LEGOPernille 3 years ago
I am multiallegic... I can't eat vegan and be full... I would go cold... Without Soy, peanuts fx it is very hard to be full on vegan diet. OP and only OP knows what is good for her. And the risk of dying vs a couple of eggs... Come on thats not acceptable... It is really hard to be allegic... soy is in SO much food and unless you have tried to be really sick, don't junge...
xiao xiao 3 years ago
She could eat before or after the wedding and be fine, she wouldn't die if hunger or any allergy. I think both are assholee, the bride overreacted, the brother should've told her not to bring anything non vegan, and she should've thought that its best to remove the eggs and just eat the salad.
Load More Replies... Fat Harry 3 years ago
Why is it seen as acceptable for a vegan to specify that a wedding should be entirely vegan, even when someone brings their own food, but unacceptable for a meat-eater to insist everyone eat meat? There's a massive double standard where vegans expect everyone to kowtow to their dietary choice. If they go to someone's wedding they expect there to be a vegan option, yet when it's their own wedding they insist there's no non-vegan option for those who find vegan food to be bland or unpleasant.
Hazel Hello 3 years ago
Because meat is cruel, and vegans don't want to pay for that. Vegan food, on the other hand, is much much much much less cruel.
Vincent Hannah 3 years ago
Better example then: fantasy themed wedding with steam punk on one side and DnD on the other. You're paying for the whole shebang, of course. Person has concerns about latex and cosmetics and whatever and you agree to let them bring a suit from home. They show up in some normal boring suit that they probably had in their closet! Question: has this person RUINED your wedding? Was that selfish and disrespectful and evil? THEY KNEW you were having a fantasy themed wedding and there are "tons" of recepies online that don't have latex or whatever. All he had to do was a couple hours of reasearch, a little shopping and maybe an hour to throw it all together. How disrespectful of him!
Tiffany J 3 years ago
So shes suppose to sit and watch everyone else eat?!? The bride chose vegan but does that mean everyone in attendance was vegan?!? So its ok for the bride to force everyone to eat what she eats?!?! That marriage wont last...as soon as the hubs slips and eats something non-vegan...its a wrap!
Hazel Hello 3 years ago
I seriously don't understand comments like these... It's not like people absolutely have to have animal products in every meal, and you can have a perfectly good meal without any animal products.
Rachel Gerstner 3 years ago
You'd be surprised how easy it is. Most food we eat is already vegan. Potatoes, rice, pasta, beans, veggies, fruits, mushrooms, etc and it can be very filling. Plus many mock meats these days are soy free.
Fat Harry 3 years ago
And what happens if you don't like or can't eat much of that stuff? I can't eat quorn as a meat substitute as it'll make me hideously ill. I don't like mushrooms, I'm not a fan of beans. I don't mind a vegetarian diet: I love eggs, cheese, pasta (which is usually made with eggs, so not automatically vegan), potatoes, fruits (but not for a main meal) and carrots, but not many other veggies. It's easy to say "all this stuff is vegan!" but you have to also consider what people can't or won't eat.
The Mom Budget Natural 3 years ago
And what are you supposed to make when most of the recipes have something in it you don't like or barely eat. You only name three things on that list that I will possibly eat on a daily basis, that's the potatoes, rice and pasta what else am I going to put with it that's vegan and I can actually swallow? See that's the problem, everybody doesn't like everything, I can only imagine how it is on top of having deadly allergies.
Vincent Hannah 3 years ago (edited)
Cheese stuffed mushrooms sateed in butter are vegan? I didn't know! Oh, what, your lying, because you know perfectly well that being vegan is not easy and that's a terrible point to make? Ah. Funny?
K O 3 years ago
I'm vegan with a soy and quorn allergy - it's not hard. It's not hard to not bring eggs and it does not cause her to risk dying
Notyomama 3 years ago
Are you in the US? Because it is next to impossible here. Soy is in everything.
Rae Edwards 3 years ago
High risk that Non professional caterers may include ingredients that could cause her a reaction. It wasnt worth the risk. We are complicit in an increasingly Selfish culture. It's not hard for you so it's not hard for anyone else. Kinda not how anything works ever.
Sheila Rogge 3 years ago
Same here.... It's EGGS. You can eat SOMETHING else.... unless you guys are telling me you must eat eggs in every setting. If that's the case I feel kinda bad for your spouse. Yikes.... You do NOT need to eat meat in every meal. That's ridiculous. Then stating if she didn't she could die. Liiike whhhaaaat. Overreacting.
Fat Harry 3 years ago
Sorry, but the bride is the one overreacting. No one asked her to eat eggs. Vegans have this incredible sense of entitlement: they want everyone else to follow their diet but throw a hissy fit if others provide no vegan option for them. If you're vegan, great, that's very admirable, but your food is mostly awful.
Desiree Meredith 3 years ago
It was only for a few hours. She wasn't going to go hungry because she ate her salad without eggs in it. I've been to plenty of events where there was absolutely nothing for me to eat. I stayed, had a nice time, and, guess what, didn't die because I didn't eat for a a short few hours.
Wombat1985 3 years ago
It is bad hospitality, plain and simple. If I invite Muslims, I provide something without pork. If I invite a baby, I try to accommodate that, too. That is how hospitality works, unless I am not a completely self-centered jerk.
Rachel Wooster 3 years ago
Wombat1985 I hear you about the hospitality thing but as someone with severe food allergies I don't expect any host to provide me a main dish I can eat. I constantly have host apologizing to me for not providing this or that and I always like the salad (which was ment as a side) was wonderful and there was plenty for me and you had lots of other sides I could eat as well. It isn't bad hospitality it's the reality of severe allergies. Some of use can't even risk sides because cross-contamination.
Jennifer Harris 3 years ago
Nobody was going to die if she ate eggs, either. And if they'd asked she'd have refrained. Thoughtless I'll grant, but hardly as bad as the bride wants her to be.
Vincent Hannah 3 years ago
No, she probably wouldn't have gone hungry, but then, again, why should she accomidate the bride's "allergies" in her own, personal packed lunch? She made it for her. If she wants egg in her salad, it's her salad. The bride has no right to dictate to her what she puts in it. Also, wombat is right. There should be non-vegan options, even at a vegan wedding.
Hazel Hello 3 years ago
And, male chicks should have the right to not be blended alive, chickens should have the right to not be used as egg making machines and brutally slaughtered...
Sheila Rogge 3 years ago
LMAO I know right. These people. They are acting like meat MUST be in every meal. I think they have lack of fruit in the diet or something.
Fat Harry 3 years ago
No one mentioned meat. We're talking about eggs. And it's the double standards that are annoying: vegans expect to be catered for, but they also expect everyone to eat vegan at their own party. I don't expect meat at every meal, but I also find most vegan food pretty awful. I'm happy with vegetarian stuff: cheese, eggs, etc.
Hazel Hello 3 years ago
They're paying for their own catering, and like you said, it's their party.
Letícia GR 3 years ago
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One meal, you don't need to be full every single meal if the point is to respect your family special day. You wouldn't die without two eggs in one single meal. It's a doable sacrifice if it's for one of the most important day in your brother's life, it's it's day about the couple, to fulfill the couple dream. Its not about the sister feeling full o vegan diet, it's one single meal. What it's not acceptable is that kind of disrespect from your sister in a occasion that you worked so hard to prepare. One meal without the eggs, that's not so hard if you care about your brother.
Boblawblaslawblog 3 years ago
You're missing the point. SIL prioritized a diet or a human being. You don't know how long the wedding and party are. I, for one, am not going more than a few hours without a source of protein. Some of us can't. We'll pass out. Is that what you want? For someone's blood sugar level to spike or dive because the bridezilla gets butthurt over eggs? Really? Over eggs. Eggs. O.V.E.R. E.G.G.S. is this really the hill this brat wants to die on? FFS people. Get a grip. Human beings and relationships are more valuable than getting upset because someone was hungry and ate some eggs because the were not offered an alternative. The OP is certainly not the AH. Her brother and SIL are out of touch and high on their own farts.
Vincent Hannah 3 years ago (edited)
I mean, to be fair, whenever you have "local ladies" catering an event over an actual catering service, its rarely because the caterers couldn't pull off the menu you wanted. It was either about money or a personal connection or something similar. Nobody prioritized their diet over the SIL's life. They even gave her permission to pack in, which was the correct call. Even professionals can mess up.
Beth L 3 years ago
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Beans, hummus, nuts, sesame seeds, tahini, quinoa, vegan "cheese" substitutes, nutritional yeast, seitan, Beyond Burgers and many other veggie burger products are all soy-free vegan protein options. It isn't the bride getting butthurt O.V.E.R. E.G.G.S, it is all the "but I neeeeeed" people who think eggs are the only option.
Faye Taylor 3 years ago
Bro she’s allergic to sesame, nuts, and soy. Most of what you listed she can’t eat, and there is no way to verify that the community caterers specifically used soy free products. If your having a wedding, you should accommodate your guests, esp someone in the gd wedding party!!
Vincent Hannah 3 years ago
Oh, wow. Sesame seeds. Nutritional yeast? That's not reaching at all. Had the SIL only known. Look, its not about the eggs. She made food that the could eat, so that she could enjoy a party and support her brother. She made something that she wanted to eat. Could have been a bagel, could have been a ceasar salad, could have been a pasta salad. The point is that she isn't a vegan. Shes probably never put tahini on anything, ever, in her life. She might even be allergic to it and not know . It's ridiculous to say she should just "be a vegan" for a couple of hours. Almost as ridiculous as her saying to you that you should try living with severe allergies for a day.
Beth L 3 years ago
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It is one meal out of a lifetime. There are plenty of vegan cheeses that aren't soy based. Plenty of brands of beans that aren't co-processed with soy or peanuts. Nutritional yeast. High protein grains. Or, if you have some sort of malady where you literally will die without eating eggs every few hours, excuse yourself to your car and house those puppies in privacy.
Vincent Hannah 3 years ago (edited)
Nah. It was the brides failure to provide edible food that forced her to pack a lunch in the first place. She should eat whatever she wants and not be shamed for it by veganites. And, yes, food that is not 100% guaranteed to not kill me is my standard for what is edible. Severe food allergies are not a hangup. Worring about eggs in someone else's salad, is.
Boblawblaslawblog 3 years ago
Yes. Not to mention the brother and SILs priorities are so far out of whack it's borderline full blown comedy show. There's something wrong with people that laser focus on other's food choices and obsess over a perceived slight. Get over yourselves. It's stories like this that put off folks in the fence about changing eating habits. It ruins your cause. If you want more people to be vegan, be a good ambassador of the culture.
Angela Turrall 3 years ago (edited)
Same can be said for the Bride, it's one meal out of thousands she will be having with this family. She could have simply overlooked it for the time being and had private conversation with the OP later to say they were disappointed. Instead the bride's reaction was totally unreasonable and over the top. Hardly Eco friendly either to suggest the OP buy a bunch of products that could be used to replace cheese and egg when you'd likely never use them again. Lose lose situation. Not to even mention that the bride made the wedding about the veganism, not the love. OR that the brother is probably the one who was in the wrong by not quantifying what OP should or shouldn't bring.
Boblawblaslawblog 3 years ago
When I got married, we did a catered event, but some people brought McDonald's and Subway sandwiches. Didn't bother one bit at all. I tried to provide food that I thought everyone would enjoy. And most folks did. But some wanted to eat something different. And that was ok. The day wasn't about the food. It was about my relationship and family. The rest was background.
Vincent Hannah 3 years ago (edited)
The brides "deeply held ethical beliefs" would be relevant if the sister had expected the bride to eat her eggs. Since that isn't the case, your point is irrelevant. Holding to your beliefs, and holding everyone in your vicinity to your beliefs are two completely different things.
Boblawblaslawblog 3 years ago
You probably think women should breastfeed in the toilet too so people don't get butthurt over boobs, right?
MightySquish 3 years ago
Literally everything you've stated comes down to choice. Moral or ethics arent even a factor in veganism. It's a lifestyle choice, simple as that. Cope harder. Also weddings are about the bride and groom, which you seem to have conveniently glazed over beth. But an overattentive bride was focused on the theme of the wedding rather than the reason for the wedding. How does this not bother you? Man people are so messed up now this world is going to hell at this rate. I shouldn't have even bothered reading the comments. I knew full well that there would be people like you in the comments so im out no more for me. I've had enough of the trashy side of the internet.
Scott T Brynildsen 3 years ago
I'm going to assume no leather belts were allowed either, or leather shoes.
Mine Truly 3 years ago
Definitely. No wool, either. That was probably specified, but it's a detail that isn't relevant to OP's story.
Load More Replies... Jamie Mcdonald 3 years ago
What's wrong with eggs or wool? The eggs sold for food are usually unfertilized eggs so no animal is harmed. Also wool is doing a service for the animal. Have you ever seen a sheep that was never groomed? They can barely walk. I saw a video of one they found that had it's fur all matted and was carrying around an extra 50lbs of weight because of it.
Ibbygirl 3 years ago
The male chicks that are hatched are immediately killed at egg farms. They are thrown alive into grinders since they cannot lay eggs. Only the female chicks are kept. So yes there is harm and cruelty in egg farming as well. Just wanted to add that to the conversation as it may not be common knowledge.
Mary Rogers 3 years ago
I agree with you Jamie, but vegans believe that using any animal products (including milk and even honey) is exploitation of animals. So it doesn't matter that the,eggs are unfertilized to them. And I doubt that they have thought about the poor sheep. Some domesticated animals simply can no longer be let back into the wild because they would not survive. Sheep have been bred to produce massive amounts of wool and it would be cruel to not shave them.
der sebbl 3 years ago
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Ever heard the word 'whataboutism'?
Dr. Gonzo 3 years ago
Yeah, it's a word dipsh*ts use when they don't want to acknowledge a valid counterpoint, or want to try to deflect from being called out for being a fn hypocrite.
Mary Rogers 3 years ago
Except in this case it was perfectly valid to bring up these other points as they are very relevant to the issue at hand.
Andrea Wellman 3 years ago
Actually I haven't heard that term before doc. Care to enlighten, please?
S 3 years ago
Bride's a f*****g lunatic. She LET it ruin her day. She wouldn't have even noticed if she wasn't blatantly staring at her meal. If you want to let stupid s**t ruin your day, by all means, but don't let it be everyone else's problem. Good luck to the groom.
Letícia GR 3 years ago
Right, imagine an alcohol free wedding because the groom or bride is a recovering AA. Even if they didn't see that someone brought alcohol would still be disrespectful. I'm not vegan but I get that is almost religious. Now the couple, that made a lot of effort to make their wedding according to their beliefs, can't say that their wedding was vegan anymore, in other words that only vegan food was consumed, that no animals were affected for that occasion. Because of two eggs. It's almost like the sister did it on purpose, how couldnt she let out the eggs for one meal, one single meal? For one of the most important day in her brother's life? What the sister did was disrespectful, but mostly because she is family, you don't expect that kind of disrespect from your family. I think that if some other guest did it the bride would be sad, but not that sad.
Load More Replies... Jamie Mcdonald 3 years ago
It wasn't disrespectful at all. And they can still say no animals were harmed as like 99% of eggs are unfertilized, so therefore no animal was harmed. The wife is just a psycho. I can't stand how vegans are always trying to dictate what others eat.
Emma Q. 3 years ago
It isn't really the same thing - nobody is really in rehab for having an egg addiction. And even then - people are going to drink etc in public places even if your guests don't other people inside restaurants are gonna drink or eat food that isn't vegan. Does the bride throw all those people's food to the floor?
Boblawblaslawblog 3 years ago
The brother and SIL are delusional. They can try all they want to make the wedding."cruelty free" or vegan, but good luck policing that. Did they forbid leather garments/shoes/belts? I'm willing to bet there was leather there. Did everyone in attendance walk to and from? Or did they use cars and planes that burn fossil fuels and pollute? Did they have a moment of silence for all the animals killed (moles, mice, snakes, ground nesting birds) or displaced plowing the soybean fields? What about the fish and aquatic life destroyed by the irrigation if these crops? Or is it ok for cruelty towards those species, but not cows, chickens, and pigs? These people need to get a grip. Even IF they had a legitimate gripe for the OP to herself how she is freely allowed to chose, and even IF, they are completely blind the fact the are still perpetuating animal cruelty, they still should forgive this person, show some grace, AND MOVE ON with their lives.
Rachel Wooster 3 years ago
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Spot on answer with the alcohol reference.
Alexia Franceschi 3 years ago
No, it's not. You compare addiction, something destroying health, mental, etc... Something people CAN'T control. It's not spot on at ALL.
Andrea Wellman 3 years ago
I don't know, I'm torn. As an alcoholic in sustained recovery myself I can see where that example could be offensive. Having alcohol at a wedding for a bunch of alcoholics could mean life or death. For many of us, we know that if we drink again it will probably result in death, (or incarceration or in an instatution.) The eggs, while upsetting to the bride, had no possibility of causing her actual harm. On the other hand, I see what they are getting at with the example, that it is a big deal, and will be emotionally harmful to the bride. This comparison shows a level of seriousness I think a lot of people have been missing.
Alexia Franceschi 3 years ago
I'm sorry you are going trough this. And this is exactly why I said it's not a good example. English is not my maternal language and my comment was too short, but you explained my point perfectly. I wish you a lot of courage for what you are going trough and send you all the good vibes I have ✨
Andrea Wellman 3 years ago
Pretty sure you didn't read the comment right, because they were talking about addiction. So I'm pretty sure your snark was misplaced.
hot foot mask 3 years ago
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eggs smell. she would've noticed whether she was looking or not.
Felix Feline 3 years ago
NTA. The bride is, though, for making a guest feel shamed and miserable. A courteous host would never do such a thing.
Delilah Evil 3 years ago
I agree. It cannot be undone, presumably this is their only wedding, let it go.
Load More Replies... Rose the Cook 3 years ago
Would it have been so hard to provide a suitable vegan meal for a family member with such serious food allergies? Sorry, just the fact that a guest had to bring their own food to such an important occasion seems rude.
KM 3 years ago
Actually it can be really hard to provide a meal for a person with allergies this severe. It's not as simple as skipping peanuts in your pad thai, the whole kitchen needs to be very thoroughly cleaned, separate cutting boards might need to be used and so on. If they were using a small local catering company it is definitely best to have the guest bring their own food. Better safe than sorry. Or they could have ordered a separate meal from a more serious establishment but that still wouldn't remove the risk of cross-contamination.
Load More Replies... Rose the Cook 3 years ago
That is fair enough if it were a work friend or similar but for a close family member with a long term condition I find it hard to believe that no family member owns separate utensils to cater for the woman's needs. Must she always bring her own food when visiting? Just different ideas of hospitality I suppose.
Wombat1985 3 years ago
Totally agree. This is the brother and his wife telling OP that they don't actually give a s**t if she dies for their ethical values.
Rachel Wooster 3 years ago
I have severe food allergies and my family has tried to accommodate me and when I am at their house for the most part it does work. But when we go out quite often we will go someplace and I will just have to skip eating at that restaurant they chose. It's awkward and sucks and it's not like they didn't try but once you ask the waitress it becomes obvious you can't eat their even though your family thought they did their diligence in research. It is always better to be safe then in the hospital 🏥.
Andrea Wellman 3 years ago
I think with catering, especially at a small place and what seems to be some type of buffet style eating rather than plated, accommodating the sister would have been near impossible. It would have been nice though, if they had ordered her a meal from their favorite vegan place that could follow her allergy guidelines. Then they could have given her that meal while everyone else got theirs.
Lost Panda 3 years ago
She chose to bring her own as she wasn't confident in the person catering, that's fair enough
Mine Truly 3 years ago
The guest has a severe allergy and has to watch out for cross-contamination. It sounds like the bridal party checked with the caterer and determined they couldn't guarantee against cross-contamination. At that point, it's prudent to just let the allergic person make food they know is safe.
L̸1̶z̵ 3 years ago
Did the bride and groom ask their guests if they are all vegan too? Or did they just force everyone to be vegan for their wedding? I'm not vegan so I would either choose not to attend, or I'd also bring something to eat so that I get my proper diet. You cannot force people to change their dietary requirements because you think you're entitled to control their food. OP was absolutely within her right as a human to ensure she got the nutrition she needs regardless of the bride's petty rules. What an entitled twatwaffle!
Munnin 3 years ago
At an event that someone else is planning and paying for, they absolutely decide what people will eat. It's how these things work. If you don't like the menu, don't go or just don't eat. Showing up to someone's event with your own food because you don't like their menu is rude (if you can't go a few hours without your "proper diet" 🙄, then stay home). The sister has allergies, which they accommodated by allowing her to bring a meal. She knew they were both vegan, all the other guests were clearly fine eating vegan on this one day, she should have left the eggs off. If she couldn't go a few hours without eating 2 boiled eggs then she should have not attended. The bride's reaction was over the top and rude, but bringing animal products to eat at a vegan event was also rude.
Load More Replies... Vincent Hannah 3 years ago (edited)
Don't go, don't eat, *OR bring your own food and eat that. Perfectly respectable third option.
Random Panda 3 years ago (edited)
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No, it's not. It's incredibly rude, unless there are circumstances that require it - allergies or food restrictions.
Vincent Hannah 3 years ago (edited)
No. Its actually not. 40 people in a room eating whatever's on offer, 1 person pulls a bag of chips out and you think the wedding is ruined? That's idiocy. Pure and simple. If you want to pack a lunch box, go for it. As long as you don't break into it during the I do's, it's not rude at all. Glaring at someone while they eat, though? That's very rude.
Rachel Wooster 3 years ago
Let's try to remember that a vegan isn't the same as a vegetarian, it's more of a moral / lifestyle then a diet. Also it's their wedding and you are a guest. First should she have brought her own food yes because of her sever allergies. Second should it have included eggs, NO. Here are a few examples to explain why: #1 Recovered alcoholics have a alcohol free wedding, you wouldn't bring alcohol. #2 Jewish wedding and reception on temple grounds, you wouldn't bring bacon for obvious religious reasons. #3 Hindu wedding, you wouldn't bring beef of any kind for obvious religious reasons. I have severe food allergies usually their is a food option I can eat but if their isn't and I have to bring my own food I still follow the rules of the event.
Andrea Wellman 3 years ago
I'm uncomfortable with your example about bringing booze to a recovered person's wedding. Like I said earlier, I get where your going, but alcohol to an alcoholic is literally- actually, life or death. Deeply held beliefs are important, and I like your other examples, even alcohol to a dry wedding (some weddings are dry not for recovery reasons,) and I too think she shouldn't have used eggs, but the first example... Just not the same.
Rens 3 years ago
I have multiple food intolerances due to IBS (legumes including soya, lentils, chickpeas; cruciferous vegetables like cauliflower broccoli and kale; mushrooms including Quorn, nightshade family which includes tomatoes, aubergine, and potatoes; coconut flour, anything heavily processed) and some allergies (bananas) and there's no way I would feel safe eating a vegan meal at a wedding - I am not willing to risk a the agony of a digestive system reacting to any of the foods I know cause problems. I would definitely need to bring my own food; maybe I wouldn't go the wedding at all. Veganism is a choice which does not suit my diet and lifestyle. I wouldn't bring a meal with eggs in it though because boiled eggs really do stink!
Mary Rogers 3 years ago (edited)
I have IBS as well, and it is very frustrating to figure out what I can eat. I actually had previously been drifting towards a more vegetarian diet, but actually the foods that I know 100% will not cause me issues are animal products (unless they are spiced with something I can't handle). Unfortunately one thing that self-righteous vegans don't seem to get is that not everyone does well on a vegan diet, for one reason or another. I have read about people being hospitalized because they tried vegan diets that their bodies could not tolerate.
Diolla 3 years ago
@Mary: Vegetarian / borderline vegan here. Completely support what you said. Once I actually lived with a guy who WANTED to go vegetarian but he sort of wasted away on that diet. Did not even have IBS or anything but some people just need meat. I can imagine that if you have may allergies, going vegan would kill you :-).
Migdalia Ferrer 3 years ago
If i didnt like vegan food, i will skip the wedding. Its not worth risking my life. Its to dangerous.
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