Husband Thinks Wife Should Apologize To Her Doctor For Cursing At Him While Giving Birth
There are some situations when people tend to behave less politely than they normally would and being in pain is one of them. It has even been shown that for the many people who don’t often use such language, swearing increases pain tolerance, among its other functions.
Either way, it may be hurtful when directed at others and this Redditor raised a question about whether it would be a good idea to apologize for swearing at her doctor while giving birth.
More info: Reddit
A woman’s doctor was great while she was in labor, yet towards the end, they ran into a disagreement
Image credits: Jonathan Borba (not the actual photo)
The new mom was in labor for around 30 hours and was incredibly exhausted
Image credits: Pixabay (not the actual photo)
Image credits: AnswerTrue8371
At some point, the woman felt as if she was about to faint from pain and expressed her emotions with “Jesus f*****g Christ”
Image credits: Alexander Grey (not the actual photo)
The doctor replied with “do not use the lord’s name in vain”
A woman brought it to the Reddit AITA community online as she was considering sending an apology note after swearing at her doctor and asked if she was a jerk for doing so in the first place.
The woman explained that she gave birth to her baby 2 weeks ago. The new mom was in labor for close to 30 hours and was incredibly exhausted; luckily, her doctor was great the whole time.
However, towards the end, the pain was unbearable and after the woman reacted to it with “Jesus f*****g Christ”, she was told by the doctor to not use the lord’s name in vain. To this, the woman quickly responded by cursing at the doctor, making him not say much during the remainder of the birth.
Eventually, the new mom felt pretty guilty and was considering sending an apology note to the doctor for swearing at him.
The woman quickly swore at the doctor and he didn’t say much for the remainder of the birth
Image credits: Jonathan Borba (not the actual photo)
Afterwards, the woman felt pretty guilty and was considering sending an apology note to the hospital
In some situations it might be difficult to tell if one did something wrong, or what the exact intentions of another party were, yet when it comes to the woman’s behavior during labor the commenters judged she was not the jerk with the post gathering 13.k upvotes on Reddit.
Either way, when it comes to apologies, Verywell Mind noted that it is possible to simply apologize for one’s own part of the conflict if one feels like it, without meaning that the entire conflict was their fault.
They explained that giving an apology, even when only a small part of the conflict was one’s responsibility, may sometimes be a good idea. Being fair in one’s apology may be an opportunity to admit what one feels uncomfortable about the effect of their actions but also confirm their boundaries.
When it comes to the defense of swear words, it was noted by Melissa Mohr in her study on the history of swearing, called “Holy Sh*t”, that while swearing can certainly be overused, such combinations of words also are tools that may have important functions, like a “hammer that’s perfectly designed for the job”.
The author explains that people often swear about what they care about and swear words do what other English words often fail to do, which is express extreme emotions, whether negative or positive, carry a sometimes needed function of language to insult and offend others, offer catharsis as a response to pain or to powerful feelings and cement ties among members of groups in ways that other words cannot.
What’s your take on the situation? Please, share your thoughts in the comment section below!
Redditors shared their takes on the situation
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A doctor should be immune to swearing of any sort, and should certainly not let their own religious beliefs or intolerances show in any way at all. This behaviour is unethical at best.
I was thinking..."Is this his first time in labor and delivery?!" because swearing during labor is not an isolated incident...not by far.
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The doctor was grossly unprofessional. Religion has no place in medical practice.
Tell that to all the catholic hospitals who bungle miscarriages because *abortion*. They will happily let you die.
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Oh, give me f*****g break. Doctor was way, WAY out of line. He should be apologizing to HER, FFS.
Yeah.... Dr is an unprofessional ahole. If the doctor has issues with his religion in his workplace he should find a new job. The patient is a patient for a reason. When I was in labour (no drugs) with my daughter, I told the midwife I couldn't do it. My husband held my hand and said, just think about holding that baby and I look him dead in the eyes and gritted out "I dont give a f*k about the baby". My midwife just smiled indulgently. She knew it was just the pain talking and not at all true. Baby was in my arms less than 5 minutes later.
I’ve had a natural childbirth (no anesthesia). It was the most intense pain I’ve ever felt in my life. I too almost passed out from the pain. That doctor should apologize to HER. Maybe he should go home & spend 12 hours trying to s**t a cantaloupe as a lesson in empathy for what his patients are experiencing. I wouldn’t apologize, I would file a complaint.
From what I understand as a male, giving birth is 2nd only to being burned alive in regards to pain... any woman going through this procedure should get a free pass on swearing... and seriously folks, are we REALLY going to tell women they can't swear when giving birth? I sure as hell would be screaming every foul word in my lexicon if something like that was exiting my body for 30hours... if the doctor told my wife to watch her language during birth, both of us would cuss that MF'r out.
My daughter's father says l called him m**********r during labour. I honestly have no recollection whatsoever, but if l did he had it coming :)
I do not understand why religious people get into the medical field just to deny people the best care, or medication they need. sure, maybe it's against your religion, but its not against mine, so get a new job and f**k off
One of the nurses attending my birth shushed me when I yelled too loud near the end. I yelled louder. That doctor likely accepted he'd been put in his place and moved on.
I kicked a doctor in the face as they "examined" me without any warning, it was a reflex and 100% deserved. Would do again in the same situation.
Never correct the language of a lady giving birth. The doc can F@#$ right off
“Using the lords name in vain,” is things like putting, “In God We Trust,” on money and saying, “Thank God for Donald Trump.”
I was surprised to learn that the saying, In God We Trust, was not on our bills until a few decades ago. Sixties, maybe?
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Don't tell a woman what is appropriate to say during childbirth if you haven't experience that degree of pain. Actually the doctor was out of line: the guidelines say to leave the mother in her bubble so whatever the brain does during childbirth can work properly (and it definitely switch to a special program!). Talking to a birthing mother is disruptive, especially when there's no anaesthetic and the mother is experiencing the whole thing fully.
Girl, if you can't drop a few f-bombs while squeezing a whole PERSON out your crotch... when can you? OP is NTA, Hubby is an idiot, and Doc needs to retire.
ABSOLUTELY NOT! Was either of them he the one to push a whole a*s human being out of their fucken body? No? Okay then NTA! You are allowed to swear, yell, cry, pass out, poop, sweat, yell at your husband, squeeze hands, speak like you're possessed & so much more WHEN YOURE LITERALLY GIVING BIRTH! Why do men think they're entitled to tell women how to act when all they do is stand there & make dumb comments like "give her an extra stitch for me" or "ouch you're squeezing my hand too hard" or my favorite.... passing out. N a doctor of all ppl should know that this isn't about him & his love for the lord. Like.. keep your religion out of my fine Birth room bro! I hate religion. All religion. But if you're someone who practices & doesn't try to recruit ppl or force ppl who don't practice to live by the rules of your religion when they're not even in your home then idc. You do you. But don't bring your god b******t to my birth room. Or you will be told to f**k off & worse
I’ve personally ordered a doctor to leave my room and never come back on more than one occasion. The first time I stood up for myself, the doctor had the nerve to tell me I rated my post op pain too high because if I was “really at an 8” I wouldn’t be able to talk to him. Told him who the hell was he to decide if I’m truly in pain and my baseline level is a 6 so I’m a bit more adapted to dealing with pain than the average patient. He called me a liar to my face and I then let profanities fly. Ordered him out, contacted my nurse and told her he would not be my doctor and to get my regular doctor in my room even if he wasn’t the on call. He came and took care of my needs and was appalled at how I had been treated. I was lucky I had a witness in my mild mannered husband. Even he was red with anger over it. Once out of the hospital I went straight to my doctors office and told them to note that the offending doctor is NEVER to come near me again. They were happy to help.
The doctor clearly needs to read up about giving birth and try pushing a 10 pound watermelon out his crack and see what he splutters as he does so. I bet he wouldn't be as fussy, nor quiet. I can recall asking if I could have someone who knew what they were fing doing during my labor.. to be fair the trainee anesthesiologist had fd up my epidural 10 times by that stage. On being introduced my son I told my husband to f off and leave me alone.
A professional should know when to reprimand and when not. Also, Jesus was a contractor, He know what is it the pain of hitting yourself with an hammer. Normally I recommend not to swear His mother, as a fellow Mediterranean I realize the mothers are sacred...
Birth is painful, doctors and midwifes are exposed to it in every labour suite. If he can't handle hearing bad language then he shouldn't be in obstetrics. I swore more than once during my births, and most other mums swore like troupers when they had babies.
NTA but the doctor is. Personally, I'd still apologize to the doc for lashing out but say that what he said was also completely inappropriate, especially for the situation. And then I'd switch doctors.
She wasn't blacked out for god's sake. Just because a person is in pain doesn't mean that they lose their memory.
Load More Replies... A doctor should be immune to swearing of any sort, and should certainly not let their own religious beliefs or intolerances show in any way at all. This behaviour is unethical at best.
I was thinking..."Is this his first time in labor and delivery?!" because swearing during labor is not an isolated incident...not by far.
Load More Replies... The doctor was grossly unprofessional. Religion has no place in medical practice.
Tell that to all the catholic hospitals who bungle miscarriages because *abortion*. They will happily let you die.
Load More Replies... Oh, give me f*****g break. Doctor was way, WAY out of line. He should be apologizing to HER, FFS.
Yeah.... Dr is an unprofessional ahole. If the doctor has issues with his religion in his workplace he should find a new job. The patient is a patient for a reason. When I was in labour (no drugs) with my daughter, I told the midwife I couldn't do it. My husband held my hand and said, just think about holding that baby and I look him dead in the eyes and gritted out "I dont give a f*k about the baby". My midwife just smiled indulgently. She knew it was just the pain talking and not at all true. Baby was in my arms less than 5 minutes later.
I’ve had a natural childbirth (no anesthesia). It was the most intense pain I’ve ever felt in my life. I too almost passed out from the pain. That doctor should apologize to HER. Maybe he should go home & spend 12 hours trying to s**t a cantaloupe as a lesson in empathy for what his patients are experiencing. I wouldn’t apologize, I would file a complaint.
From what I understand as a male, giving birth is 2nd only to being burned alive in regards to pain... any woman going through this procedure should get a free pass on swearing... and seriously folks, are we REALLY going to tell women they can't swear when giving birth? I sure as hell would be screaming every foul word in my lexicon if something like that was exiting my body for 30hours... if the doctor told my wife to watch her language during birth, both of us would cuss that MF'r out.
My daughter's father says l called him m**********r during labour. I honestly have no recollection whatsoever, but if l did he had it coming :)
I do not understand why religious people get into the medical field just to deny people the best care, or medication they need. sure, maybe it's against your religion, but its not against mine, so get a new job and f**k off
One of the nurses attending my birth shushed me when I yelled too loud near the end. I yelled louder. That doctor likely accepted he'd been put in his place and moved on.
I kicked a doctor in the face as they "examined" me without any warning, it was a reflex and 100% deserved. Would do again in the same situation.
Never correct the language of a lady giving birth. The doc can F@#$ right off
“Using the lords name in vain,” is things like putting, “In God We Trust,” on money and saying, “Thank God for Donald Trump.”
I was surprised to learn that the saying, In God We Trust, was not on our bills until a few decades ago. Sixties, maybe?
Load More Replies... Don't tell a woman what is appropriate to say during childbirth if you haven't experience that degree of pain. Actually the doctor was out of line: the guidelines say to leave the mother in her bubble so whatever the brain does during childbirth can work properly (and it definitely switch to a special program!). Talking to a birthing mother is disruptive, especially when there's no anaesthetic and the mother is experiencing the whole thing fully.
Girl, if you can't drop a few f-bombs while squeezing a whole PERSON out your crotch... when can you? OP is NTA, Hubby is an idiot, and Doc needs to retire.
ABSOLUTELY NOT! Was either of them he the one to push a whole a*s human being out of their fucken body? No? Okay then NTA! You are allowed to swear, yell, cry, pass out, poop, sweat, yell at your husband, squeeze hands, speak like you're possessed & so much more WHEN YOURE LITERALLY GIVING BIRTH! Why do men think they're entitled to tell women how to act when all they do is stand there & make dumb comments like "give her an extra stitch for me" or "ouch you're squeezing my hand too hard" or my favorite.... passing out. N a doctor of all ppl should know that this isn't about him & his love for the lord. Like.. keep your religion out of my fine Birth room bro! I hate religion. All religion. But if you're someone who practices & doesn't try to recruit ppl or force ppl who don't practice to live by the rules of your religion when they're not even in your home then idc. You do you. But don't bring your god b******t to my birth room. Or you will be told to f**k off & worse
I’ve personally ordered a doctor to leave my room and never come back on more than one occasion. The first time I stood up for myself, the doctor had the nerve to tell me I rated my post op pain too high because if I was “really at an 8” I wouldn’t be able to talk to him. Told him who the hell was he to decide if I’m truly in pain and my baseline level is a 6 so I’m a bit more adapted to dealing with pain than the average patient. He called me a liar to my face and I then let profanities fly. Ordered him out, contacted my nurse and told her he would not be my doctor and to get my regular doctor in my room even if he wasn’t the on call. He came and took care of my needs and was appalled at how I had been treated. I was lucky I had a witness in my mild mannered husband. Even he was red with anger over it. Once out of the hospital I went straight to my doctors office and told them to note that the offending doctor is NEVER to come near me again. They were happy to help.
The doctor clearly needs to read up about giving birth and try pushing a 10 pound watermelon out his crack and see what he splutters as he does so. I bet he wouldn't be as fussy, nor quiet. I can recall asking if I could have someone who knew what they were fing doing during my labor.. to be fair the trainee anesthesiologist had fd up my epidural 10 times by that stage. On being introduced my son I told my husband to f off and leave me alone.
A professional should know when to reprimand and when not. Also, Jesus was a contractor, He know what is it the pain of hitting yourself with an hammer. Normally I recommend not to swear His mother, as a fellow Mediterranean I realize the mothers are sacred...
Birth is painful, doctors and midwifes are exposed to it in every labour suite. If he can't handle hearing bad language then he shouldn't be in obstetrics. I swore more than once during my births, and most other mums swore like troupers when they had babies.
NTA but the doctor is. Personally, I'd still apologize to the doc for lashing out but say that what he said was also completely inappropriate, especially for the situation. And then I'd switch doctors.
She wasn't blacked out for god's sake. Just because a person is in pain doesn't mean that they lose their memory.
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