“No Emergency, No Reason”: Man Snaps After Years Of Having His Sleep Disrespected By GF

When couples start living together, most of them imagine these picture-perfect mornings with each other — waking up together, having coffee, sharing some stories and cuddles before they’re ready to start the day and go to work.

But reality is far from different for a lot of them. Different work schedules, sleep habits, and responsibilities usually mean that there might be some days when you have to leave the bed all by yourself.

A man recently posted online about a similar problem in his own relationship. He said his girlfriend wanted him to wake up every morning at exactly the same time as her, no matter the circumstances.

When he finally snapped, she told him that’s what “normal couples” do.

Woman uses phone in bed while waking up boyfriend in a cozy bedroom, showing normal couple morning routine.

A woman forced her boyfriend to wake up with her every morning

Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

No matter what the time or the circumstances, she wanted him to be awake when she was

Woman keeps waking up boyfriend every morning immediately because that's what normal couples do in their routine.

Woman keeps waking up boyfriend early morning as part of what normal couples do in their daily routine together.

Alt text: Woman keeps waking up boyfriend as soon as she wakes up, showing what normal couples do in daily routines.

Woman sleeping with an eye mask in bed, illustrating waking up boyfriend as part of normal couples' morning routine.

Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

Man describes how woman keeps waking him up early because normal couples spend time together despite her frequent social outings.

Text about waking up boyfriend early on Sunday morning because that’s what normal couples do, describing relationship habits.

Text showing a woman keeps waking up boyfriend as soon as she wakes up, describing normal couples’ behavior.

Text message conversation about a woman waking up her boyfriend as soon as she wakes up, showing normal couple behavior.

Alt text: Text message about a woman waking up her boyfriend because that's what normal couples do.

Text from a man questioning why his girlfriend wakes him up as soon as she wakes up, calling it a normal couples thing.

The man said he has a lot of responsibilities and chores to do all day long

Man waking up in bed covering his face, showing tiredness in a dimly lit room, depicting normal couples waking each other up.

Image credits: Toa Heftiba / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

ALT text: Woman wakes up boyfriend immediately after waking as a typical behavior among normal couples in daily life.

Text conversation expressing a woman's wish to sleep undisturbed, related to waking boyfriend as normal couples do.

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Sometimes, shared sleep can be more stressful than restful

For a lot of couples, falling asleep and waking up next to their partner are the quiet pleasures of being in a long-term relationship.

Research even suggests there can be benefits.

Couples who sleep side by side can show more synchronized sleep patterns, including steadier REM sleep — the stage that helps your brain with emotional processing and memory.

Waking up at the same time and having small shared rituals in the morning, like having coffee together before work, can also boost relationship satisfaction.

A study found that couples who spend just 15 minutes of quality time together each morning report significantly higher relationship satisfaction scores.

But it only works when both people are actually resting.

It’s hard to have a good night’s sleep when one partner is snoring or tossing and turning the whole night. Some couples also struggle with differences in work schedule or bedtime practices, like watching TV or scrolling on the phone in bed.

For example, if you’re on night shifts and have your routine down, what happens when your partner has a regular 9-to-5 schedule?

Some couples are now recognizing the benefits of not sleeping in the same bed or even the same room as their partner — this trend is called “sleep divorce.”

A recent survey found that 31% of US adults choose a “sleep divorce” with their partner.

This number was highest for millennial adults ages 35 to 44. Nearly 40% of them said they sleep separately.

The survey also found that people are making other changes to accommodate their partners and respect their sleep schedule.

At least 37% said they chose to go to bed at different times than they’d normally like to, and 15% said they use a silent alarm to avoid disturbing their partner.

“If your partner hinders you from falling asleep or disturbs your sleep, and you are much more relaxed if you sleep alone, that is probably the best sleeping arrangement to do,” says Henning Johannes Drews, a researcher at the Center for Integrative Psychiatry.

Woman waking up boyfriend in bed, showing a playful morning moment typical in normal couples' daily routine.

Image credits: Pablo Merchán Montes / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

Respecting each other’s sleep schedules is a way to show care

We all know how much a truly restful night can change the way your whole day feels.

Not getting enough sleep can make you grumpy and irritable. You may also find it harder to focus or react quickly.

Research shows that couples who get less than 7 hours of sleep per night are more likely to fight with one another. They may also have more difficulty interpreting each other’s emotions and moods accurately.

In other words, when you’re tired, it’s hard to pay attention to your partner.

Experts say respecting a partner’s basic needs, including sleep, is one of the simplest ways to show care in a relationship.

“It’s critically important that both sleepers respect their own need for sleep as well as their partner’s need for sleep. The majority of adults need between 7 and 9 hours daily. That should be carved out of the daily schedule and viewed as a non-negotiable item,” says Terry Cralle, a clinical sleep educator.

When one partner keeps disturbing the other, it’s more about control or a lack of empathy.

Wanting to spend quality time in the morning isn’t wrong, but wanting uninterrupted sleep isn’t wrong either. The real challenge is figuring out how to balance both needs without turning either one into a test of love.

Experts say if your work hours or your sleep patterns don’t match up, here are some ways to stay connected:

• Set up a short daily ritual that fits your schedules
• Leave little notes or messages for each other
• Reserve special mornings together on weekends
• Use your phone for quick, intentional check-ins during the day

At the end of the day (or the start of the day), it’s less about matching alarm clocks and more about respecting each other’s needs.

Many people said his girlfriend’s behavior was disrespectful

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing how normal couples respect each other's basic physical needs like sleep.

Comment discussing a woman waking up her boyfriend, highlighting relationship dynamics and respect in couples.

Comment criticizing woman for waking boyfriend by willfully disturbing his sleep, calling behavior disrespectful and unhealthy.

Text post from Vegetable-Section-84 discussing how multiple medical organizations recognize forced sleep deprivation as disabling, criticizing a woman who disrupts her boyfriend’s sleep.

Text comment discussing intentional sleep deprivation as a power move by a woman waking up her boyfriend repeatedly.

Comment on a forum criticizing a woman who keeps waking up her boyfriend, calling it rude and childish behavior in relationships.

Comment calling out sleep deprivation caused by woman waking up boyfriend as what normal couples do is wrong and gaslighting.

Screenshot of an online comment reacting to a woman who keeps waking up her boyfriend as soon as she wakes up.

ALT text: Reddit comment discussing disrespect and codependence in couples when one wakes partner repeatedly, affecting needed sleep.

Comment on Reddit about woman waking up boyfriend, describing the boyfriend as frustrated and calling her selfish in a relationship.

Comment discussing couples respecting each other's sleep patterns and what normal couples do regarding waking up.

Text post discussing sleep deprivation as a manipulation tactic, relating to woman waking up boyfriend in normal couples.

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Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a woman repeatedly waking up her boyfriend as soon as she wakes up.

Screenshot of a social media comment reacting to a woman repeatedly waking up her boyfriend as soon as she wakes up.

Comment on relationship and lack of sleep affecting health as woman keeps waking up boyfriend in normal couples behavior.

Comment highlighting how a woman keeps waking up her boyfriend, affecting his sleep and showing disrespect in the relationship.

Comment on Reddit about a woman waking up her boyfriend as soon as she wakes up, describing normal couples behavior.

Commenter expressing frustration about a woman waking up her boyfriend as soon as she wakes up, reflecting normal couple behavior.

Screenshot of an online comment discussing a woman waking up her boyfriend as soon as she wakes up in couples behavior.

ALT text: Reddit comment discussing a woman waking up boyfriend and boundary issues in normal couples' sleep habits.

Comment about insomnia and sleep routines, highlighting challenges and support in a relationship with a woman and her boyfriend.

Text about relationship advice with a focus on habits and deal breakers for normal couples.

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