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Dad Of A Cheerleader Agrees To Let School Use His Property For Their Fundraising Event, Takes His Promise Back When The Focus Shifts To The Football Team
People often gather together for a certain purpose and sometimes, along the way, their initial goal changes. As long as everyone is happy about the change, there is no need to worry about this natural sequence of events. However, this is not always the case. And people might find themselves in a situation where they signed up for one thing, but it turned into another. It is here that they have to decide what they value more: faithfulness to that particular group of people and the majority’s vote or something else. This father decided that he respected the promise given to the cheerleading team more than people’s time and money donated to make this fundraising event.
More info: Reddit
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The PTA had been preparing for a fundraiser for months, so one father is livid after this plan takes a turn
Image credits: Dani Jace (not the actual photo)
The majority voted to buy new football equipment instead, therefore the man cancelled the event venue
Image credits: ptawoesandtrials
Image credits: David Baron (not the actual photo)
Image credits: ptawoesandtrials
The fundraiser was established to raise money for new cheerleader uniforms and the kids were excited about it
Image credits: Pixabay (not the actual photo)
The football coach suggested that the football equipment needed to be replaced and the PTA voted to use the fundraiser for it
This man decided to turn the whole PTA down by refusing to provide his property and furnishing for their fundraising event, which he had promised early in the planning and which was agreed to be cost-free. He shared that he is in a way driven by strong emotions of anger and disappointment and most of the people involved in the event do not empathize with his actions, but, as noted by Redditors, his reasons seem to be fair.
The main context of the story, as shared by this man, is the fundraising event, the planning of which took a long time for the people involved. The PTA had been planning for months to raise money for new cheerleader uniforms and got the kids excited, as the old uniforms were very outdated.
The man wasn’t the only one contributing to the event. Many people worked hard spending their time and money for making and buying things to be sold at the fundraiser, while the man, as noted, agreed to provide his property as a venue.
It all was going well until the football coach suggested the football equipment had to be replaced and it was voted by the PTA to use the funds raised for it. This is when the father got livid, as the event suddenly changed its nature when it was almost done organizing. He explains that from his side, he went above and beyond to help out the cheerleading team. However, the main argument he brought up was that his child and all the kids from the cheerleading team got their hopes up only to be dashed by the group of adults, who were supposed to show a good example of keeping one’s word.
As a consequence, the father refused to go with the decision that the majority agreed upon by voting and took his offer to use his property back. In this way, he was putting the event at risk, as he knew they wouldn’t be able to find a venue this late, especially not at an affordable price.
After this man cancelled the free venue, he was accused of throwing all the people’s hard work in the trash
Image credits: MART PRODUCTION (not the actual photo)
Redditors agreed this man had every right to refuse the venue and could have suggested the football field instead
This made the majority of people involved angry at him, including some people who voted against the change. The main argument was, of course, that he was “throwing all their hard work in the trash.” People were claiming that the only thing that mattered at that point was voting, and that by refusing to comply with the majority’s decision he was acting like a dictator, while this man was pointing to the children’s feelings and doing justice to what was promised to them in the first place.
In his book “On the Psychology of Promising,” Herbert J. Schlesinger claims that psychologists and psychoanalysts have not paid sufficient attention to making and keeping promises. He, on the contrary, claims that the ability to make and keep a promise should be taken to be, if not the defining act of moral maturity, then at least a defining act of moral maturity.
He contrasts this phenomenon with fiction, such as Greek dramas and Shakespeare’s plays, which, according to him, people often regard as intuitive psychologists. The importance of a promise was emphasized in these plays by making it a force that moved the actions of its characters, even in situations when the promise wasn’t made honestly. Schlesinger notes that Sophocles and Shakespeare, in their works, considered promises to “take the life of their own,” showing them fulfilling themselves “even in spite of the too-late change of heart of the promiser.”
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Roddfergg 2 years ago
Tell them your family took a vote on using the property. It was the will of the majority that decided against it.
Bug 2 years ago
Bait and switch is never a good thing. Your good will offering was based on helping the cheerleaders. Had it been presented as a football benefit, you most likely would not have made the offer. So, therefore you are in the right to pull back the offer. I think the sense of entitlement of the coach is unfortunate.
Load More Replies...
that weird wallflower is demi 2 years ago
Football is always the most important thing in school and I think it's dumb. The coach should've brought up this problem earlier on, then maybe the PTA could've come up with a compromise. It's unfair that the cheerleaders, who the fundraiser was originally intended for, should be pushed into the shadows while the football players take over the spotlight.
Bunzilla 2 years ago
This is like what we went through when I was in high school. Band and Choir consistently got screwed over. The sports teams got a free ride for *everything*. Band and choir had to: A, pay for our own uniforms, B, pay for our own equipment, C, pay for our own trips. We won awards and impressed our peers... but we weren't valued by our own school, it was clear.
Load More Replies...
Nikki Sevven 2 years ago
I don't believe for a second that this switch wasn't the plan from the beginning. NTA.
Ron Baza 2 years ago
“Sometimes c***ery is planned, sometimes c***ery, but c***ery is always done by c***s.” Shakespeare
Load More Replies...
Skulls.N.Succulents 2 years ago
I'd say that whoever wanted to sell their items for the cheerleading fundraiser could still use my property but if they are raising funds for the football team they must go elsewhere.
Cyber Returns 2 years ago
I would have held the cheerleader fundraiser privately and asked everyone who prepared for the event to come and that all funds raised would not be given to the school until they sign a contract that all money raised would be donated to the school on the condition it is used for the cheerleaders uniforms and not wasted on anything else
Jen 2 years ago
They never have to hand it over to the school as money. They can ask the cheer coach to create the order and write the check directly to the uniform company. That is what our band boosters had to do to make sure the money we raised for new uniforms went only to those uniforms.
Load More Replies...
Blackheart 2 years ago (edited)
I am the mother of a cheerleader, and besides my shelling out THOUSANDS of dollars each year for her uniforms and gear, the cheer squad helps with football fundraisers. Yet the football players do not assist with cheer fundraisers. I am not antifootball, I think sports can be a positive outlet for students...BUT football is not more important than any other sports. Also football caters to males. I don't like the message this sends to female students about their worth.
Rasheeda Pennybaker 2 years ago
His daughter is going to love him for standing up for her. My high-school we use to swear our principle wanted to jump the bones of the football team. They got away with everything. One day they started a food fight and the principle decided to lock up the veding machines the snack lines etc. The football team was allowed to go to the office to get snacks. When I was in 10th grade our whole class score the highest in out state on our PSAT's so we got money. It was given to us before 12th grade most of the money was spent on the football team/ the boys weight room. They got all new top line equipment. I heard from another school when that happened to them they gave everyone in that class a check to help out with college supplies.
Ed Bangor 2 years ago
This is why we honestly shouldn't have sports for students at all. People end up viewing that have as the way to their (not their kid's) easy future. So they pay to undercut everything but the football team. So now, Billy Bob might get a partial ride to a D3 school, but Johnny and Susie got a s**t education along with him, and all 3 will be broke before turning 21.
Load More Replies...
El Howard 2 years ago
I'm confused... every fundraiser at every school I ever attended was held in the school gym... they can't find another venue? What about the school itself?
Bekah 2 years ago
If it was anything like my middle school gym they probably couldn't fit. Our middle school was very old and a half size gym. Great for our volleyball team not so much for the basketball team lol
Load More Replies...
Ed Bangor 2 years ago
"You're being a dictator" No, you voted to ignore a outcaste citizen, and said private citizen is exercising his rights to private property in our great democratic system to refuse to let you use his land. That's called civil liberties. Literally, the backbone of any democratic government is the rights of the individual. But of course the boys in the football team matter more then the girls who cheer. That's just how small town America works: they get really sexist and racist and completely ignore the fundamental concepts that underpin the very concept of democracy
joy mcnally 2 years ago
True.That dictator comment got me too.. Who changed what the fundraiser was for at the last minute...A dictator! Also what a fundraiser is for is very pertinent and parent had every right to cancel their participation given that they turned the whole thing around on him.
Load More Replies...
Roddfergg 2 years ago
Tell them your family took a vote on using the property. It was the will of the majority that decided against it.
Bug 2 years ago
Bait and switch is never a good thing. Your good will offering was based on helping the cheerleaders. Had it been presented as a football benefit, you most likely would not have made the offer. So, therefore you are in the right to pull back the offer. I think the sense of entitlement of the coach is unfortunate.
Load More Replies... that weird wallflower is demi 2 years ago
Football is always the most important thing in school and I think it's dumb. The coach should've brought up this problem earlier on, then maybe the PTA could've come up with a compromise. It's unfair that the cheerleaders, who the fundraiser was originally intended for, should be pushed into the shadows while the football players take over the spotlight.
Bunzilla 2 years ago
This is like what we went through when I was in high school. Band and Choir consistently got screwed over. The sports teams got a free ride for *everything*. Band and choir had to: A, pay for our own uniforms, B, pay for our own equipment, C, pay for our own trips. We won awards and impressed our peers... but we weren't valued by our own school, it was clear.
Load More Replies... Nikki Sevven 2 years ago
I don't believe for a second that this switch wasn't the plan from the beginning. NTA.
Ron Baza 2 years ago
“Sometimes c***ery is planned, sometimes c***ery, but c***ery is always done by c***s.” Shakespeare
Load More Replies... Skulls.N.Succulents 2 years ago
I'd say that whoever wanted to sell their items for the cheerleading fundraiser could still use my property but if they are raising funds for the football team they must go elsewhere.
Cyber Returns 2 years ago
I would have held the cheerleader fundraiser privately and asked everyone who prepared for the event to come and that all funds raised would not be given to the school until they sign a contract that all money raised would be donated to the school on the condition it is used for the cheerleaders uniforms and not wasted on anything else
Jen 2 years ago
They never have to hand it over to the school as money. They can ask the cheer coach to create the order and write the check directly to the uniform company. That is what our band boosters had to do to make sure the money we raised for new uniforms went only to those uniforms.
Load More Replies... Blackheart 2 years ago (edited)
I am the mother of a cheerleader, and besides my shelling out THOUSANDS of dollars each year for her uniforms and gear, the cheer squad helps with football fundraisers. Yet the football players do not assist with cheer fundraisers. I am not antifootball, I think sports can be a positive outlet for students...BUT football is not more important than any other sports. Also football caters to males. I don't like the message this sends to female students about their worth.
Rasheeda Pennybaker 2 years ago
His daughter is going to love him for standing up for her. My high-school we use to swear our principle wanted to jump the bones of the football team. They got away with everything. One day they started a food fight and the principle decided to lock up the veding machines the snack lines etc. The football team was allowed to go to the office to get snacks. When I was in 10th grade our whole class score the highest in out state on our PSAT's so we got money. It was given to us before 12th grade most of the money was spent on the football team/ the boys weight room. They got all new top line equipment. I heard from another school when that happened to them they gave everyone in that class a check to help out with college supplies.
Ed Bangor 2 years ago
This is why we honestly shouldn't have sports for students at all. People end up viewing that have as the way to their (not their kid's) easy future. So they pay to undercut everything but the football team. So now, Billy Bob might get a partial ride to a D3 school, but Johnny and Susie got a s**t education along with him, and all 3 will be broke before turning 21.
Load More Replies... El Howard 2 years ago
I'm confused... every fundraiser at every school I ever attended was held in the school gym... they can't find another venue? What about the school itself?
Bekah 2 years ago
If it was anything like my middle school gym they probably couldn't fit. Our middle school was very old and a half size gym. Great for our volleyball team not so much for the basketball team lol
Load More Replies... Ed Bangor 2 years ago
"You're being a dictator" No, you voted to ignore a outcaste citizen, and said private citizen is exercising his rights to private property in our great democratic system to refuse to let you use his land. That's called civil liberties. Literally, the backbone of any democratic government is the rights of the individual. But of course the boys in the football team matter more then the girls who cheer. That's just how small town America works: they get really sexist and racist and completely ignore the fundamental concepts that underpin the very concept of democracy
joy mcnally 2 years ago
True.That dictator comment got me too.. Who changed what the fundraiser was for at the last minute...A dictator! Also what a fundraiser is for is very pertinent and parent had every right to cancel their participation given that they turned the whole thing around on him.
Load More Replies...
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