A mom has just gone viral on TikTok after she revealed she used to work in a daycare where hugging children was considered abuse. The woman went on to explain that it’s actually one of the reasons why she won’t work and look after her daughter at home instead.
Other motives included subpar food menus and overall strict guidelines that prevent kids from being, well, kids.
The woman added that she could go on about these things but chose not to. However, as her clip gained more and more views, people in the comments took it upon themselves to expand on this important topic.
When the woman saw that the discussion wasn’t going to stop anytime soon, she released a follow-up video.
More info: TikTok
Image credits: olddavenportfam
Image credits: olddavenportfam
Last month, the U.S. Department of Treasury sent a pretty similar message. It determined that the nation’s childcare system is “unworkable,” saying it is plagued by market failures that put quality care out of reach for many families.
In one of its reports, Treasury details the struggle many parents face to afford childcare, especially as bills pile up before their peak earning years. Additionally, Treasury found that many industry workers are paid low wages, suffer high turnover, and face discrimination.
Treasury is making the case for federal government support for paid family leave, universal preschool, and significant tax credits for parents and dependent care as Democrats in Congress work to write a social-spending bill that could total $3.5 trillion.
“Having a well-functioning childcare sector is good for working families. It’s good for children. I would also emphasize it’s good for the rest of us,” Catherine Wolfram, Treasury’s acting assistant secretary for economic policy, said. “It’s critical to a well-functioning economy.”
The video has been viewed over a million times
@olddavenportfamI could go on about things.. there’s a lot.. #crunchymom #childcareworker #sahm #workingmom #childcare #experience♬ The Magic Bomb (Questions I Get Asked) [Extended Mix] – Hoàng Read
Talya Stone, a former editor-in-chief and the woman behind the blogs Motherhood: The Real Deal and 40 Now What, told Bored Panda that she has questioned the things that went on in her daughter’s daycare as well but “the simple fact of the matter is, parents rely on daycare in order to be able to continue their careers and manage the juggle between raising a family and earning a living.”
“Even though we may feel the conditions are far from ideal or up to our standards, quite frankly for most parents at least, not sending their children is just not an option,” she said. “I still feel the advantages of daycare still far outweigh the negatives, and also it’s important to note the positive implications on a child’s development and happiness also, not to mention the fact they provide support for families to sustain the responsibilities of raising a family where often the traditional support structure of extended families of once upon a time has all but vanished for many.”
With that being said, finding the right fit for your child can be quite challenging. “Not all daycare [centers] are the same. It’s important to do your research, spend time there, meet all the staff, get a sense of the atmosphere and management, the facilities, activities, and food provided, ask lots of questions, and most importantly trust your gut,” Talya Stone said. “If something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t. Do the children seem happy there? What sort of feedback do other parents have? It’s important to remember that every child is different as is every daycare and it’s down to you as the parent to try and create the best match between the two as possible.”
And the mom eventually released a follow-up
Image credits: olddavenportfam
Image credits: olddavenportfam
No wonder these TikToks have resonated with the public so much. Earlier this year, a national panel survey of 2,500 working parents, found that nearly 20% of working parents had to either quit or reduce their hours solely due to a lack of childcare.
Only 30% of all working parents had any form of backup childcare, and there were significant disparities between low and high-income households.
The survey revealed that 26% of women who became unemployed during the pandemic said it was due to a lack of childcare.
Vice President Kamala Harris addressed the dire problem for women in The Washington Post, claiming that the economy cannot fully recover unless women fully participate. She said that “without affordable and accessible child care, working mothers are forced to make an unfair choice.”
Talya Stone also thinks that the government has to do more and support women if they want to keep them in work. “There needs to be better access to affordable, high quality and, ideally, subsidized childcare,” the UK mom told us. “The bottom line is the future of the economy hinges on childcare, and unless parents can be supported adequately in this area, the economy will not be able to feel the full benefit of more mothers in the workforce. The U.S. is woefully behind compared to other advanced countries, and it’s high time they caught up as one of the most advanced nations in the world.”
@olddavenportfamReply to @silversirentreasures just my personal preference from the 4 centers I’ve been at #childcareworker #childcarecenter #sahm #educated♬ The Magic Bomb (Questions I Get Asked) [Extended Mix] – Hoàng Read
The TikToker continued to share her thoughts in the comment sections under her videos
And the discussion quickly spread to other platforms as well
Parents and industry workers have been expressing similar concerns for quite some time now
I think a bigger question is the privilege, luck, good fortune whatever you want to call it that you can stay at home with your child. Most people don't live a life where only one income can provide for a family. I mean in some areas, two incomes don't even cut without subsidization of some sort. I understand where this woman is coming from but all it does is foster a level of shame and guilt on parents who can't afford to make that choice or the choice they can afford isn't a prime caring facility. It would be like people who say "I will never send my parents to a nursing home, that is why I have private around the clock care for them in house." Well bully for you that you and your parents can afford that. Some people can't afford around the clock care and they physically, emotionally, and financially can't stay home 24/7 to provide that care themselves. It's a lot more nuanced than just saying daycare is bad don't do it.
Yes to all of this. It also just sounds like this woman worked at a really crappy facility. Yes, these places absolutely exist, but such places do not describe all daycares. My daughter's daycare is excellent. The problem in the US is that daycare in general is expensive and people don't receive enough parental leave. But this woman painting all daycares like they're the shitty one she worked at is just fear mongering and creating unnecessary anxiety among parents who don't have many other options.
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I'm from the Netherlands and work in daycare. TBH I'm shocked by this info. Here we need a special education and a background check to be able to work in daycare. And we play and cuddle with all the kids, so strange that it's not allowed in the US.
Yep. Very strict in the Netherlands. Special education is very high quality too.
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Its almost like they are not your private babysitter 🙄 Some of the points about background checks and staffing levels are really important, and right to be concerned with. But then adding in that they won't tailer when children have naps, when they play, what they eat etc to the desires of each individual parent just makes her sound entitled and dilutes serious points.
In the Netherlands they are your private babysitter. The educated and highly trained and skilled staff of daycares do their best to be the best substitute for the parents. Including hugging the kids and playing with them. Daycares also don't cost you 20% to 25% of your income over here.
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Some of this is complete bullshit. No longer allowed to do background checks? In many US states it's required by law to file the background checks with an overseeing authority.
while i am not saying that this mom doesn't have valid concerns, this does not mean all daycare facilities are like what she described. if you want to make sure a facility is good and working within legal mandates then do your research. also, yes, there is a schedule for naps and that isn't a bad thing. i managed two daycares and all menus had to be passed by me and meet nutritional guidelines; same with snacks. and, i don't know of any state licensed facility that doesn't do background checks. frankly, sounds like some of this is excuse to stay home.
"sounds like some of this is excuse to stay home." I agree. But when you suggest alternating shifts for working they have a conniption because they...just....cant.
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it's easy to say you won't send your kids to a daycare. before the 70's most woman was at home and it wasn't a question, but now most of the 2 parents has to work and don't really have a choice. it's not everyone who can stay at home.
Sometimes it's better financially for a parent to stay at home, depends on the cost of daycare. All low income families should get governmental support for one child. That's what paying tax is for. But if everyone in the society lives only for themselves ("why should I pay higher tax to help someone else") that's when you get inequality in health and child care.
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This is very situational. I have three friends who worked in daycares. One said hers was awful, but the other two said theirs was quite good; they even recommended them when I was searching for a daycare. The daycare we went with is also fantastic and my daughter loves it. She naps on her own schedule, gets fed on her own schedule, they fill out a "report card" every day telling me what activities they did with her and her mood, and everyone undergoes background checks. The moral seems to be don't send your kid to a bad daycare center, or, alternatively, "be rich enough that you can afford to stay at home with your kid and if you can't afford to, then you're a bad parent".
My husband and I worked different schedules and at times I worked 3 different jobs (where I could take my son with me). It was very difficult, but the one time I did put him in after school care - he was miserable. I really wish the US would recognise that kids need parental care and min wage just does not cut it.
When I visited a daycare for my daughter in Italy one of the ladies there was constantly holding this 'koala baby' (her words) because he needed the extra attention. Went on to have my daughter in several daycares in Italy, UK and France and they were all extraordinary. What this lady says is not the norm.
Every parents f*cks his kid up one way or another. While protecting it from the downsides of the current childcare "standards", she's also depriving it from learning the social skills young children acquire by being raised in a group and not being the center of attention 24/7. Pick your battle, make choices you feel most comfortable with, but know, in the end, you will have failed at certain points no matter what.
Babies don't need "social skills" and they do need one on one attention from a caregiver. It's developmentally inappropriate for babies to be in an environment where they cannot be hugged or touched.
Load More Replies... I have to disagree about the rule about tickling. Tickling can be a form of abuse. It was used that way in my house. I would never let anyone tickle my daughter.
agree with some of this stuff All centers require a background check at least on crime do you know how much trouble they'd be in if they hired a sex offender? Of course children eat and nap at the same time do you know how hectic life would be for children and workers if everyone ate different and slept at different times? The place would be dimmed and quiet at all times I do agree they don't all follow the laws of kids to adult ratios and even then they are too high I was with 12 - 2 year olds by myself which is the law but when it's 14 pure insanity I also can't stand how they call it school or workers teachers generally the highest age is 5 they are the only ones who might be learning and not much I think it's just to make parents feel more comfortable with their money and time One thing that bothered me was most the parents who get the care for free through government programs are more likely to complain or make demands
As much as I would have loved for my daughter to not have as many struggles and she does, her medical issues did qualify her for an early intervention facility, fulltime. It was a daycare, therapy center, PreK 1 & 2, socializing, etc all rolled in to one. I know several other parents in my area that have all had issues with daycare centres (biting, emotional distress, bumps and bruises, things of that nature). It's really a scary thought that people are often forced to rely on a stranger to watch their child. The specified nap times just seem so harsh to me. Heck, at 7.5 and in first grade (public school) my mini munchkin still gets to nap if/when she needs to. Before I get the "that's too old, get a better schedule" comment, I just want to point out that it's a 2 hour bus ride so a nearly 12 hour school day. Even an adult would be getting a bit tired by noon, add in a parasomnia and PT session and it's lights out.
People forget that at least in the U.S. we have in home daycare and facility daycare and not all daycares are licensed. So there's a range and yes there are some horrors but my kid's daycare was amazing with excellent meals, programs, and affectionate amazing staff and it wasn't even very fancy or as expensive compared to some larger facilities. Yes they had a nap schedule but even if the kid couldn't nap there were other quiet options. Loved that place which was absolutely necessary for me as a returning college student.
I'm just here to say as someone who is ticklish being tickled is not fun, it's actually awful, please stop doing it to children as they can't say no and the laughing is involuntary.
My mother was a childcare provider, and I witness several incidents of aggression and physical violence towards the children in her care. She was forced to resign after I reported her to the police and social services…no charges were brought as I only had evidence for one incident, and that parent (my sister) would not press charges. When the parents were around, she was like an angel, all bubbly and friendly and sweet to the children…it was like a switch flipping. Even now, I don’t think any of the parents believe she did anything to their kids. There are some good childminders out there, but having watched my mother and also seen some of the behaviour of her fellow childminders that she socialised with, I just would never use a childminder.
What country is this? US? We have quite strict regulation here in Germany for example. From what she lists here I'd choose the same route as she did.
I watched my friends kids a lot, but there were times I would refuse (I loved the kids like they were my own, but also watching two babies 10 plus hours a day without getting paid for it got annoying) and whenever they came back from stints in day care they'd have *horrible* diaper rash, like to the point of bleeding That being said, it's a huge privilege to be able to just stay home.
What she is describing isn't normal. I'm sorry she worked at a shitty place and that kids went to a place like that, but what she described is far from universal.
As someone that used to be ticklish as a child but managed through sheer force of will to desensitize myself, let me clear something up! Tickling automatically becomes abusive when the child says to stop and the person does not. Once I desensitized myself to it the true child abusers were easy to spot! They would get visibly angry when I no longer responded to tickling and would often say things like, "what's wrong with you, or you're not normal?"
I worked at centers and licensed home daycares for years. The stories I have. Once the fire drill went off and I followed the protocol I'd been taught at the last place...I was reprimanded and told we would all die if there was a fire because the fire doors were illegally blocked. I worked in a place where a litterbox that never got changed was in the child's bathroom. There was cat pee and feces everywhere. I started my own home daycare. I bought a bigger house with the intention of being licensed and saw no benefit. I have an open door policy at all hours of operation, every room in my house is open to my clients. I am privileged to be able to cook very healthy meals for the kids. I also hug, tickle, kiss, rock, etc., am affectionate while respecting their boundaries and bodily autonomy. I hope this women made it clear this was the daycare she worked at - not all of them.
I currently work at a daycare and we are always over staffed, we do love on our kids (even encouraged to do so!) And my kids have attended the same center since they were both infants, we love it here. It's not all daycare centers, I promise there are good ones out there. We are even NAEYC accredited, which is almost unheard of, only center to be acredited in my tri-state area.
Just like with everything, do a background check, ask other parents who have had their child at that particular daycare of their views. Just because it's not law for a childcare centre to do background checks for hirees, they may still do one by default. Not everyone is out to hurt children. As for not hugging and showing affection, this will not harm the kids and the kids may prefer not to be touched by the staff anyways. They should be getting the physical affection from the parents. Having this as a reason to avoid daycares is weird. I've been to some good daycares and bad daycares growing up. Same with my daughter. It's the same experience with schools. Trust your gut and do what you think is right. If you have the means to not work and be at home all the time to look after your kids, then all the power to you. Not everyone has that opportunity.
speaking as a pre-school child -- when I was three I was taken to see the local school, The Infants Mistress,?) picked me up and held me in a tight busty embrace. I am still very very proud of my three year old self, because I "kicked her in the stomach" and she put me down. it is exceptionally rude to try to cuddle kids unless they ask for it -- and then be sure you do it in the open with disinterested witnesses.
We needed daycare, but we didn't put our kids in an industrial daycare system. We made an arrangement with a mother that took care of her two kids, plus 4 more all in her own home. We worked with her to come to an agreement as to what level of care we wanted, what food to prepare, what sort of activities, when to give naps & how often, etc. She was quite willing to adapt to our children's needs (within reason). Way better than dealing with a larger business.
And daycare is a luxury, I'm just me, one income, I couldn't never afford daycare, plus I start work at 6 am and work Sunday to Thursday, daycares usually don't open before 7 and not on weekends, and cost thousands a month. I've had to post ads or use Facebook childcare groups to find people to watch my daughter
I didn’t have a choice. Daycare was going to be my full minimum wage job- I would owe more than I was able to make. Working daycare was the ONLY way to bring home a paycheck- because by working there for the same minimum wage, they allowed me to send my son half price. So I got half a paycheck at the very least. Good ole $120 a week or so.
in Italy there are private kindergartens and municipal kindergartens .. I sent both my children to municipal kindergartens, the educators must have adequate training (diploma and qualification for education) and even the menu must be approved by the region, at the kindergarten they have preschool activities (starting up writing and reading for example) ... I was lucky because I have always found attentive and affectionate teachers but here it is more difficult to find similar problems because the kindergarten teachers are comparable to school teachers .. I recommend bring the children to kindergarten not only for work necessity but because the children who attended nursery and kindergarten have a considerable learned autonomy (my son learned to walk first to the nursery, to eat alone while watching other children, the teachers also helped me to make both babies independent of the diaper)
Ok, so that's just another problem on the growing list of problems that the "greatest country in the world" has. Can't imagine how people have to live who think that the US is heaven compared to where they live.
Yeah, no. She worked in a bad daycare. There are good daycares and bad ones. I will admit that the rules need to be stricter on what constitutes a daycare (some people run ones out of their homes while others are childcare centers, and they have different rules), but there are great daycares in the U.S. and bad ones. She's pretending her one experience makes her an authority.
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I spent one summer at a daycare. It was between 3rd and 4th, or 4th and 5th grades. They made us watch preschool shows. Not age appropriate.
The cost of a nanny for the amount of time of daycare would be 10 time they cost of the daycare where I live.. plus the food (in daycare they have weekly balanced menu) and of course the lack of social interaction with kids of the same age that a "homeschooling " would involve
Load More Replies... I think a bigger question is the privilege, luck, good fortune whatever you want to call it that you can stay at home with your child. Most people don't live a life where only one income can provide for a family. I mean in some areas, two incomes don't even cut without subsidization of some sort. I understand where this woman is coming from but all it does is foster a level of shame and guilt on parents who can't afford to make that choice or the choice they can afford isn't a prime caring facility. It would be like people who say "I will never send my parents to a nursing home, that is why I have private around the clock care for them in house." Well bully for you that you and your parents can afford that. Some people can't afford around the clock care and they physically, emotionally, and financially can't stay home 24/7 to provide that care themselves. It's a lot more nuanced than just saying daycare is bad don't do it.
Yes to all of this. It also just sounds like this woman worked at a really crappy facility. Yes, these places absolutely exist, but such places do not describe all daycares. My daughter's daycare is excellent. The problem in the US is that daycare in general is expensive and people don't receive enough parental leave. But this woman painting all daycares like they're the shitty one she worked at is just fear mongering and creating unnecessary anxiety among parents who don't have many other options.
Load More Replies... I'm from the Netherlands and work in daycare. TBH I'm shocked by this info. Here we need a special education and a background check to be able to work in daycare. And we play and cuddle with all the kids, so strange that it's not allowed in the US.
Yep. Very strict in the Netherlands. Special education is very high quality too.
Load More Replies... Its almost like they are not your private babysitter 🙄 Some of the points about background checks and staffing levels are really important, and right to be concerned with. But then adding in that they won't tailer when children have naps, when they play, what they eat etc to the desires of each individual parent just makes her sound entitled and dilutes serious points.
In the Netherlands they are your private babysitter. The educated and highly trained and skilled staff of daycares do their best to be the best substitute for the parents. Including hugging the kids and playing with them. Daycares also don't cost you 20% to 25% of your income over here.
Load More Replies... Some of this is complete bullshit. No longer allowed to do background checks? In many US states it's required by law to file the background checks with an overseeing authority.
while i am not saying that this mom doesn't have valid concerns, this does not mean all daycare facilities are like what she described. if you want to make sure a facility is good and working within legal mandates then do your research. also, yes, there is a schedule for naps and that isn't a bad thing. i managed two daycares and all menus had to be passed by me and meet nutritional guidelines; same with snacks. and, i don't know of any state licensed facility that doesn't do background checks. frankly, sounds like some of this is excuse to stay home.
"sounds like some of this is excuse to stay home." I agree. But when you suggest alternating shifts for working they have a conniption because they...just....cant.
Load More Replies... it's easy to say you won't send your kids to a daycare. before the 70's most woman was at home and it wasn't a question, but now most of the 2 parents has to work and don't really have a choice. it's not everyone who can stay at home.
Sometimes it's better financially for a parent to stay at home, depends on the cost of daycare. All low income families should get governmental support for one child. That's what paying tax is for. But if everyone in the society lives only for themselves ("why should I pay higher tax to help someone else") that's when you get inequality in health and child care.
Load More Replies... This is very situational. I have three friends who worked in daycares. One said hers was awful, but the other two said theirs was quite good; they even recommended them when I was searching for a daycare. The daycare we went with is also fantastic and my daughter loves it. She naps on her own schedule, gets fed on her own schedule, they fill out a "report card" every day telling me what activities they did with her and her mood, and everyone undergoes background checks. The moral seems to be don't send your kid to a bad daycare center, or, alternatively, "be rich enough that you can afford to stay at home with your kid and if you can't afford to, then you're a bad parent".
My husband and I worked different schedules and at times I worked 3 different jobs (where I could take my son with me). It was very difficult, but the one time I did put him in after school care - he was miserable. I really wish the US would recognise that kids need parental care and min wage just does not cut it.
When I visited a daycare for my daughter in Italy one of the ladies there was constantly holding this 'koala baby' (her words) because he needed the extra attention. Went on to have my daughter in several daycares in Italy, UK and France and they were all extraordinary. What this lady says is not the norm.
Every parents f*cks his kid up one way or another. While protecting it from the downsides of the current childcare "standards", she's also depriving it from learning the social skills young children acquire by being raised in a group and not being the center of attention 24/7. Pick your battle, make choices you feel most comfortable with, but know, in the end, you will have failed at certain points no matter what.
Babies don't need "social skills" and they do need one on one attention from a caregiver. It's developmentally inappropriate for babies to be in an environment where they cannot be hugged or touched.
Load More Replies... I have to disagree about the rule about tickling. Tickling can be a form of abuse. It was used that way in my house. I would never let anyone tickle my daughter.
agree with some of this stuff All centers require a background check at least on crime do you know how much trouble they'd be in if they hired a sex offender? Of course children eat and nap at the same time do you know how hectic life would be for children and workers if everyone ate different and slept at different times? The place would be dimmed and quiet at all times I do agree they don't all follow the laws of kids to adult ratios and even then they are too high I was with 12 - 2 year olds by myself which is the law but when it's 14 pure insanity I also can't stand how they call it school or workers teachers generally the highest age is 5 they are the only ones who might be learning and not much I think it's just to make parents feel more comfortable with their money and time One thing that bothered me was most the parents who get the care for free through government programs are more likely to complain or make demands
As much as I would have loved for my daughter to not have as many struggles and she does, her medical issues did qualify her for an early intervention facility, fulltime. It was a daycare, therapy center, PreK 1 & 2, socializing, etc all rolled in to one. I know several other parents in my area that have all had issues with daycare centres (biting, emotional distress, bumps and bruises, things of that nature). It's really a scary thought that people are often forced to rely on a stranger to watch their child. The specified nap times just seem so harsh to me. Heck, at 7.5 and in first grade (public school) my mini munchkin still gets to nap if/when she needs to. Before I get the "that's too old, get a better schedule" comment, I just want to point out that it's a 2 hour bus ride so a nearly 12 hour school day. Even an adult would be getting a bit tired by noon, add in a parasomnia and PT session and it's lights out.
People forget that at least in the U.S. we have in home daycare and facility daycare and not all daycares are licensed. So there's a range and yes there are some horrors but my kid's daycare was amazing with excellent meals, programs, and affectionate amazing staff and it wasn't even very fancy or as expensive compared to some larger facilities. Yes they had a nap schedule but even if the kid couldn't nap there were other quiet options. Loved that place which was absolutely necessary for me as a returning college student.
I'm just here to say as someone who is ticklish being tickled is not fun, it's actually awful, please stop doing it to children as they can't say no and the laughing is involuntary.
My mother was a childcare provider, and I witness several incidents of aggression and physical violence towards the children in her care. She was forced to resign after I reported her to the police and social services…no charges were brought as I only had evidence for one incident, and that parent (my sister) would not press charges. When the parents were around, she was like an angel, all bubbly and friendly and sweet to the children…it was like a switch flipping. Even now, I don’t think any of the parents believe she did anything to their kids. There are some good childminders out there, but having watched my mother and also seen some of the behaviour of her fellow childminders that she socialised with, I just would never use a childminder.
What country is this? US? We have quite strict regulation here in Germany for example. From what she lists here I'd choose the same route as she did.
I watched my friends kids a lot, but there were times I would refuse (I loved the kids like they were my own, but also watching two babies 10 plus hours a day without getting paid for it got annoying) and whenever they came back from stints in day care they'd have *horrible* diaper rash, like to the point of bleeding That being said, it's a huge privilege to be able to just stay home.
What she is describing isn't normal. I'm sorry she worked at a shitty place and that kids went to a place like that, but what she described is far from universal.
As someone that used to be ticklish as a child but managed through sheer force of will to desensitize myself, let me clear something up! Tickling automatically becomes abusive when the child says to stop and the person does not. Once I desensitized myself to it the true child abusers were easy to spot! They would get visibly angry when I no longer responded to tickling and would often say things like, "what's wrong with you, or you're not normal?"
I worked at centers and licensed home daycares for years. The stories I have. Once the fire drill went off and I followed the protocol I'd been taught at the last place...I was reprimanded and told we would all die if there was a fire because the fire doors were illegally blocked. I worked in a place where a litterbox that never got changed was in the child's bathroom. There was cat pee and feces everywhere. I started my own home daycare. I bought a bigger house with the intention of being licensed and saw no benefit. I have an open door policy at all hours of operation, every room in my house is open to my clients. I am privileged to be able to cook very healthy meals for the kids. I also hug, tickle, kiss, rock, etc., am affectionate while respecting their boundaries and bodily autonomy. I hope this women made it clear this was the daycare she worked at - not all of them.
I currently work at a daycare and we are always over staffed, we do love on our kids (even encouraged to do so!) And my kids have attended the same center since they were both infants, we love it here. It's not all daycare centers, I promise there are good ones out there. We are even NAEYC accredited, which is almost unheard of, only center to be acredited in my tri-state area.
Just like with everything, do a background check, ask other parents who have had their child at that particular daycare of their views. Just because it's not law for a childcare centre to do background checks for hirees, they may still do one by default. Not everyone is out to hurt children. As for not hugging and showing affection, this will not harm the kids and the kids may prefer not to be touched by the staff anyways. They should be getting the physical affection from the parents. Having this as a reason to avoid daycares is weird. I've been to some good daycares and bad daycares growing up. Same with my daughter. It's the same experience with schools. Trust your gut and do what you think is right. If you have the means to not work and be at home all the time to look after your kids, then all the power to you. Not everyone has that opportunity.
speaking as a pre-school child -- when I was three I was taken to see the local school, The Infants Mistress,?) picked me up and held me in a tight busty embrace. I am still very very proud of my three year old self, because I "kicked her in the stomach" and she put me down. it is exceptionally rude to try to cuddle kids unless they ask for it -- and then be sure you do it in the open with disinterested witnesses.
We needed daycare, but we didn't put our kids in an industrial daycare system. We made an arrangement with a mother that took care of her two kids, plus 4 more all in her own home. We worked with her to come to an agreement as to what level of care we wanted, what food to prepare, what sort of activities, when to give naps & how often, etc. She was quite willing to adapt to our children's needs (within reason). Way better than dealing with a larger business.
And daycare is a luxury, I'm just me, one income, I couldn't never afford daycare, plus I start work at 6 am and work Sunday to Thursday, daycares usually don't open before 7 and not on weekends, and cost thousands a month. I've had to post ads or use Facebook childcare groups to find people to watch my daughter
I didn’t have a choice. Daycare was going to be my full minimum wage job- I would owe more than I was able to make. Working daycare was the ONLY way to bring home a paycheck- because by working there for the same minimum wage, they allowed me to send my son half price. So I got half a paycheck at the very least. Good ole $120 a week or so.
in Italy there are private kindergartens and municipal kindergartens .. I sent both my children to municipal kindergartens, the educators must have adequate training (diploma and qualification for education) and even the menu must be approved by the region, at the kindergarten they have preschool activities (starting up writing and reading for example) ... I was lucky because I have always found attentive and affectionate teachers but here it is more difficult to find similar problems because the kindergarten teachers are comparable to school teachers .. I recommend bring the children to kindergarten not only for work necessity but because the children who attended nursery and kindergarten have a considerable learned autonomy (my son learned to walk first to the nursery, to eat alone while watching other children, the teachers also helped me to make both babies independent of the diaper)
Ok, so that's just another problem on the growing list of problems that the "greatest country in the world" has. Can't imagine how people have to live who think that the US is heaven compared to where they live.
Yeah, no. She worked in a bad daycare. There are good daycares and bad ones. I will admit that the rules need to be stricter on what constitutes a daycare (some people run ones out of their homes while others are childcare centers, and they have different rules), but there are great daycares in the U.S. and bad ones. She's pretending her one experience makes her an authority.
Load More Replies... I spent one summer at a daycare. It was between 3rd and 4th, or 4th and 5th grades. They made us watch preschool shows. Not age appropriate.
The cost of a nanny for the amount of time of daycare would be 10 time they cost of the daycare where I live.. plus the food (in daycare they have weekly balanced menu) and of course the lack of social interaction with kids of the same age that a "homeschooling " would involve
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