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Friendships can be as important to us as romances, and just like the latter, they too might come to an end unexpectedly.
Reddit user Fearless_shift7108 wanted to know what that usually looks like, so they asked others on the platform to share why and how they lost their besties. Their pals. Their amigos.
Whether it’s developing a dangerous health issue or forming a new relationship with someone else, these folks’ stories range from heartbreaking to infuriating.
However, if it’s time for two people to split, delaying the inevitable could make everything even worse. At least now they can move on.
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#1
She's an alcoholic and started drinking again and it causes her to be delusional. Started accusing me of things like calling her late at night from a hidden number. I just had to block her everywhere. Been friends for 53 years and have had to cut her off every time she starts drinking. I love her so much but my mental health is more important.
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#2
She ghosted when I told her I had a tumour.
No idea what that was about but at least the trash took itself out. 🤷♀️.
#3
I got cancer and was in hospital on a ventilator (although awake) for five weeks and he didn’t come visit me because the one free day he could visit was then double booked later for a last minute second date with a girl he met online…
That said other friends not as close before really stepped up in his absence so I learned who valued our friendship most moving forward.
#4
I said "no" for the first time in our friendship, over something benign. Many angry messages, hurtful emails, and embarrassing group chats later, I had fewer friends.
Which. Good riddance. That's not a friend, and her yes men were a waste of time.
#5
I found out he was beating his wife. That's a big nope, police was allerted, and maybe he accidentally tripped. :).
#6
I took her on a trip to Portland for her birthday 3 years ago. I drove the whole time, put about 3,000 miles on my car in 3 days (she picked the itinerary), paid for our hotel room (even though she said she would pay half), and then at the end gifted her a Polaroid scrapbook I spent months working on. The last page was blank so we could take a Polaroid when I gave it to her and do the last page together. She didn’t seem excited about the gift and didn’t want to do the last page, which hurt my feelings but hey it’s her gift. Two weeks later she say she feels like I don’t care about her, and friend dumped me.
Daisydaisy 9 hours ago
Wow - that sounds like her problem, not yours - you sound like a wonderful friend!
#7
He broke up with his girlfriend, our mutual long time good friend, because he didn’t see a future with her. Fair enough. Then he posted dozens of intimate photos they took together. She was super traumatized from it and when I called him out on it he only tried to explain why it wasn’t a big deal. So I called it. .
#8
He started drifting further and further alt right. it started with friendly debates but it got to the point every conversation he had to prove something and he would steam roll people just to be the loudest voice in the room. One time i showed him proof that something he said was wrong and he said "Well I don't want to believe that's true." I lost all respect and stopped contacting him.
#9
I was the only one reaching out, inviting them for barbecues or birthday parties. They only reached out when they needed help.
I stopped reaching out or inviting them over, that's it. When I stopped drinking and smoking weed the last friendships disappeared.
I have now 0 friends to hang out with, but a beatiful family so everything is fine.
#10
Best man in my wedding 29 years ago. He became very right wing and knowingly brought his 80+ year old father to his house while he had Covid. Father got Covid and died within a couple weeks. He rationalized it by saying “he was old, not in the best of health, and was going to die sooner or later”. Mind you, he was a Covid denier AND far right “Christian”.
#11
He married a woman who hated all of his friends. Within a year, he hated all of his friends.
I was the best man at his first wedding, I wasn't even invited to his second wedding.
#12
He slept with my wife.
#13
He was always the type of guy who would "claim" women. We'd walk into a bar or a club or a party and within 15 minutes he'd have pointed out and basically staked a flag in every one of the most beautiful women present. We were at a pool party once and I actually counted SIX women with whom I was "not allowed" to flirt. They were his. Simple as that.
I shrugged it off. I'm good-looking and have never had issues meeting women. Every now and then, one of the women he would essentially block me from would make her way through whatever obstacles he'd erected and we'd talk. Sometimes we'd hit it off, sometimes we wouldn't.
One day, after ten years of friendship, he confronted me and said he couldn't take it anymore. Told me that I targeted "every woman" he had interest in. I sat and listened to him unload on me for a solid ten minutes. Then he confessed that he never let me meet his girlfriends because he was afraid I'd try to "take them" from him.
I apologized profusely, hung up, and blocked him. I was so overcome by just....total and utter disgust for his lack of self esteem....that I deleted him from my life entirely and in that moment. I spent the next few months wondering how I'd allowed a man with so little respect for himself become my best friend. I have since discovered, through the grapevine, that he regularly talked trash about me to the women we both knew.
Earonn - 3 hours ago
I'd say, the fact that he 'claimed' women as 'his' as if we were pieces of cake was a good giveaway already.... Guys, don't expect a man who treats women like possessions to be a good friend to you. A cvnt will always be a cvnt. Remove them out of self-preservation if you can't bring yourself to do it out of respect for women.
#14
She was my best friend, but I was just one of her friends. I would have been okay with that, but it turned out that I was also the least valuable of her friends to her. So she would cancel stuff with me last minute to go hang out with someone else (which I usually learned from her IG story). The second time she stood me up without any excuse or apology, I realized where I stood with her and disengaged.
#15
From back in highschool.
Dude wanted to come out of the closet with a dramatic oppression story. Although I was his only real friend, I never discriminated him, I actually didn't even suspect it.
He instead discriminated another friend of ours who came out first(I remained friends with both).
I was and am very religious, but that didn't translate to gay bashing, far from it.
But he decided to make up stories about me discriminating him and my mom pressuring us to not be friends.
I found out weeks after he had spread such lies.
My mom had even invited him over for lasagna knowing he was gay.... Literally no discrimination from us, but still he felt we were fair game to turn us into the villains.
I realized he didn't even deserve a reaction. I deleted him on all social media and apparently that got him pissed off.
But it's fine, he's the one who had a hard time making friends, college to me was amazing and not knowing from him enhanced the experience.
#17
After we both moved to different cities for college , he just ghosted me out of blue ..
Just a month earlier, we were playing cricket every week . Both families knew each other , no fights or anything, he just dropped a 10 yr old friendship just like that .
#18
Just stopped talking to her eventually. She would let men treat her however and 90% of the drama she was in was over a guy.
#20
She was constantly asking for financial support from me when I was struggling myself and would lash out and make me feel like the worst person in the world whenever I had to say no. She took in pets that she couldn't afford to take care of when she could barely care for herself and her children. She spent years refusing to work and coming up with one feigned disability after another trying to live off of SSI when she's not disabled and is fully capable of working, she just doesn't want to. I got sick of the expectations for me to subsidize her lazy lifestyle and the guilt trips when I couldn't.
#21
He lied to the police about me because we’d had an argument. This very nearly resulted in me going to prison, and did result in a lot of wasted money on legal fees.
#22
We rented a townhouse together with their partner for 6 months. They (friend and their partner) only gave me 2 weeks notice that they weren't renewing the lease. She only told me when my new then boyfriend (now ex long ago) was over so he could "deal with me" if I took it badly.
We haven't spoken since and it's been 7 years now. I dealy miss the friendship sometimes but she really screwed me over there.
#23
She couldn’t handle her friends hanging out with each other when she wasn’t there and her solution was to invite us all over to a party at her place just to yell at us in front of everyone and then kick us out 👌🏼 (we drove an hour to be there).
#24
He went from old school “low taxes” republican to deep down the maga rabbit hole. Grew up in age but remained a man child who couldn’t take responsibility for anything. Continually a creep to women to the point charges were filed for stalkng, and his response was to blame women as a whole. Stopped working to sit around all day gambling his trust fund away. Despite being on his phone all day, would only reach out when he needed something, never interested in anyone but himself. Any one of those things should’ve been a deal breaker. I held onto the friendship for way too long.
#25
He cheated on his wife . He kept borrowing money from his twin brother (my second best friend) and never paid back.
#26
My best friends (a married couple with 3 kids) stopped talking to me because they disagree with my child-free lifestyle. They say it's "selfish". They threw away 10 years of friendship and memories because of this. They admitted they thought I would change and eventually have a family.
#28
We stopped being friends because communication just faded. It wasn’t one big fight or anything our lives just went in different directions, and we slowly drifted apart.
#29
He stopped sharing his joys with me, and then I realized that we only communicate when he has problems.
#31
Her sister got reported to social services about how she treats her 6yo, she is convinced it was me and now hates me (it wasn't me).
Kim Kermes 9 hours ago
And why would you want to stay friends with someone who had to be reported, and I hope you would have reported her, had you known.
#32
When an ex and I broke up, the literal first message I got from him was telling me he was going to ask her out. She and I had *just* broken up the night before.
#33
Different views on the world and I don't like being around grumpy people.
#34
She was a user, manipulator and liar. Also a very aggressive alcoholic. Still owes me $1500.
#35
My best friend since age 9, Maids of Honor in each other’s weddings, close with both families. At 25 I found out that my dad had an aggressive, untreatable form of brain cancer. I reached out and let her and her spouse know about it, then complete silence for 10 months. I invited her to the funeral when my dad did finally pass, and since the funeral she has texted me several times expecting that we can just pick up where we left off. Like nothing happened in that 10 months, I have ignored all attempts at contact. And it’s been 4 years.
#36
I asked her to pick me up from shoulder surgery (months in advance). Something I had done for her in the past, we texted all day every day & were besties for a decade+. I always showed up for her - moving days, breakups, airport pickups, her surgery, everything. She bailed right before my surgery leaving me scrambling. Luckily, my now husband stepped in and took care of me. She then became jealous of me spending all my time with him and refused to share anything for 2 years. Now we’re acquaintances at best.
#37
When she couldn't be happy when I was getting married and activity tried to sabotage any joy in wedding planning. Some people just love to spread their own misery to others.
She was such a miserable jerk I had to kick her out of the wedding.
#39
Friends since childhood for many decades. He is a strong Trump supporter and i cannot even talk to a person with such hate in their heart for humanity.
#40
I had a brain injury and she missed the old me. She slowly stopped reaching out and found a new best friend.
#41
She developed an intense case of anorexia and socially withdrew from everyone and we never got what we had back. We were in 7th grade. I still miss her sometimes .
#42
As life went on, we just kind of went different ways. The time between talking got longer and longer.
One of my best friends and I went to Cancun for my 21st birthday. We were super close. That’s been a little more than a decade ago, and when I most recently saw him it was in a grocery store. We did the ‘hey, how are you?’, but never broke stride.
#43
He just stopped talking to me, it was always me saying hi first, havent spoken to him in about 8 months.
A few years ago, we lived literally around the corner and he said about us doing more things, I saw him about 4 times in the year I was living around the corner.
Just got to a point where I really couldnt be bothered anymore.
#45
When I got married, my now husband and I decided to have our bridal party be family only. So I lost three friends total because of that decision. Hurt.
#46
We got into an argument about her not being very concerned about her dog having pyometra. I called 3 different vets (well 2 and 3/4, one's a vet student) to get advice on how best to help, and took that information to her, because all 3 were unanimous that it's an emergency and needs surgery, but her vet was blase about it. Had that been it I wouldn't have walked away, but she went off on me about always having to be right, trying to tell her what to do, and that I was not staying in my lane (I'm a school nurse, not a vet, true, but I had called my vet, an emergency vet by her, and my friend who's in her last year of vet school so it wasn't just out of my head). She also sent her fiancee after me and he said some really nasty stuff.
She had become very him-centered once she got into her current relationship, which I accepted, because she said that that's how she is, she likes herself better when she's in a relationship. But I knew that things were already tapering when she was going to have surgery and I offered to take the day to help, and she said "Oh fiancee is already doing it", in a way that kinda felt like "uh, why do you want to be there, that's weird". That fight over her dog just kinda turned the light on over my head that she mattered WAY more to me than I did to her, and that it was not healthy anymore. I miss her, but it is what it is.
#47
He was racist and I couldn't overlook it anymore.
#48
My former friend asked me to make a film about his life and experiences. It was to be part documentary with a fictionalized ending. I submitted the film idea (with his written permission and consent) to a film festival. The film festival accepted the idea for a pitch competition. I stood up on a stage and pitched the film to an audience. While the film wasn't selected, I received generous help in getting a distribution deal for the finished film, i assembled a crew, and the film generated lots of interest. I started trying to raise funds for the film.
Meanwhile, unknown to me, my former friend was making a film about himself, using the same footage, and with the same idea for an ending. Ge submitted it to the same film festival and then invited me to his film's Facebook page. He framed it as a "prequel" to my film, and asked me to pitch his film to the same film festival where I had pitched mine.
I asked him to stop and to please consider that he was sabotaging my film. In so many words he said he didn't care and would "throw money" at my film when his film blew up.
After several heated conversations i stopped talking with him and blocked him on everything.
#49
Depression made me self isolate and I ghosted him for over half a year. It happened more than once. By the end he rightly got sick of it.
Kim Kermes 8 hours ago
Depression s***s. I like to think that if you had been able to explain that you needed him to reach out, he would have. I hope you're better now. Therapists should encourage people to do that, and even have them make the call during session.
#50
There was a few gestures she did with me that really bothered me, I told her "hey I love you and I cherish you but you do 1 2 3 things toward me I don't like it, can you please stop? It bothers me" she said oh ok thanks for telling me. Proceeded to ignore me for 2 weeks.
She would talk to our whole friend group but deliberately ignore me. Later we started talking again like normal.
Months later I reopened the subject because I was still hurt and confused on why she ignored me, she didn't take that well obviously. Started ignoring me again and since then we stopped being friends.
We talked a bit during our graduation but that's about it. We cut contact ever since.
#51
She didn't come to my wedding because I didn't ask her to be a bridesmaid lol. That was the last straw.
#52
I invited her to my wedding and she seemed randomly annoyed about coming for some reason. When she was there, she cared only about my nephew who was 1 at the time and giggling with my sister and cousin about babies. When she got pregnant, she did not invite me to her baby shower. It proved to me I was not a part of her life anymore. She has everyone there: old friends, even my sister there. When she messaged me not long after that, I just ignored it. I don't know what i did to make her so frustrated with me. We had been best friends since we were 10... whatever though. Hope she's happy.
#53
He was fun to party with but was kind of a jerk to a lot of other people, especially when drinking.
#54
She fell in love with me. She was my best friend and my roommate so I friendzoned her and wanted to keep her close (I told her I'm not interested)
Someday out of the blue, she took all her stuff and left our house. She refused to talk to me ever since, I never understood what happened and why.
My only explanation is that she was jealous of the people I was seeing and I refused seeing her as more than friends.
Still hurts almost 10years later.
Dog Mom to Zoe 8 hours ago
I think it hurt her to see you with other women. I had the same happen to me; where my male friends wanted more. I had to end it and it s***s.
#57
Said he didn't like the jokes I make towards him and yet is still friends with 3 other people who do the same thing to a higher extent than I do.
#58
She was letting her mother run her life and I dared to tell her that she needed to stand up to her.
#59
Not best, but really good friends. Talking regularly and for hours(he was the one who kept pushing to talk more.) after going our separate ways for college, suddenly got really distant, not responding to texts, making excuses to hang up in a min or 2, ditching plans for hangout.
Learned from a mutual friend that apparently someone told him I was badmouthing him behind his back. Confronted him about it, confirming and reassuring nothing like this happened. He said he believed me but the distance was still there, tried to get back how we used to be like a dozen times but there was no effort from his side. Had to give up, you cant clap with one hand.
Still meet sometimes if the mutual group is getting together, but more like acquaintances now.
What do you think ?
Dog Mom to Zoe 8 hours ago
Friend of 20 years cheated on her husband when she vacationed in Hawaii. Then came back stating that she was moving there to be with this guy. Went back to Hawaii and the guy said she must have misunderstood his intentions as he already moved on. She told her husband that I was going to be 'all over him' once she left to Hawaii. Knowing the type of men I'm attracted to, there was no way I would do that. Plus, he was a friend of a good friend. She came crawling back to her husband and he took her back. Haven't spoken to either one of them in 17 years and honestly, I don't miss her.
Dog Mom to Zoe 8 hours ago
Friend of 20 years cheated on her husband when she vacationed in Hawaii. Then came back stating that she was moving there to be with this guy. Went back to Hawaii and the guy said she must have misunderstood his intentions as he already moved on. She told her husband that I was going to be 'all over him' once she left to Hawaii. Knowing the type of men I'm attracted to, there was no way I would do that. Plus, he was a friend of a good friend. She came crawling back to her husband and he took her back. Haven't spoken to either one of them in 17 years and honestly, I don't miss her.
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