These 30 Women Shared Their Experience With Dating Apps And What Counts As A Red Flag
Throughout all of history, dating has always been a difficult thing. However, with the advent of modern technology, dating has become even more confusing despite the fact that now all it takes to go on a first date with someone is a few swipes and clicks on your phone. But if you think that means that every date is going to involve romantic hand-holding, gazing into each other’s eyes, and drinking hot cocoa while watching snowflakes swirl outside your window, you’re wrong.
Dating apps have made the dating landscape very difficult to navigate and some people end up having bad experiences. Fortunately, the women of Twitter have banded together and compiled a list of some of the best dating app red flags—things that let you know that a certain person is probably best avoided.
Scroll down, upvote your fave tips, and share them with your friends. Let everyone know in the comments if you have any other pieces of advice about what counts as a red flag on dating apps!
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Same reason as anyone else: because you love them and want to spend your life with them. Monogamy has nothing to do with level of commitment.
Load More Replies...what if his wife knows about it and has the same freedom, and is happy about it...? not saying that's super common lol! XD just food for thought- usually it's just an a*****e
And why is this thing using my whole name for crying out loud and ask for my whole name to let me on the damn thing
Using voice text so it doesn't always come out right I'm not going back to fix it too much hassle anyway like I said no luck with anybody respond to me liking them or whatever! I guess I'm texting this and search that I'm giving this app thing one last chance and then I'm just going to give up and consider it all bulshit!!! Anybody have any comments about these apps being real I don't believe it!
Yeah, that would be a *really* strange way to say that you're in an ethically non-monogamous (aka open) relationship. I've been looking for polyamorous people online and there are plenty, but I've never seen someone phrase it like that. I would be more suspicious than usual that he's just a cheater.
well, he could have an account for 4 years, but did he used it?
True story, I created an account on a meeting app and forgot about it completly because life is full of events. I realised I was still in it 2 years later with my profile barely filed and not much done. So yup, it is a reality, not a red flag (unless there's solid proof Chad has been flirting relentlessly but the point still stand).
Load More Replies...On its own, nothing. But a lot of men use it as an excuse to be a s****y person but see themselves as superior.
Load More Replies...Yeah, i actually want someone, Who will hold normal conversation like... Talking about our hobbies, movies, books, games, family, animals, life... Im really disapointed when only thing they want to tak about is intimate things, when we would start dating and askinkg for nudes
Why is this a red flag? You might be quite attracted to someone, but if they're dull or can't have a stimulating conversation, then why bother?
I must admit I think this is more someone's grievance based on personal experiences than a red flag per se.
Load More Replies...There's a difference between intellect and having an intellectual conversation.
I see women say they want intellectual conversation fairly often. Is it a flag guys also need to pay attention to?
You made it through "law school", with that grammar? Was it the school of Häagen-Dazs?
Women started pouring their hearts out and sharing their personal red flags with the internet after Beth McColl posted her personal tips on whom to avoid based on their bios and behavior. A lot of women focused on explaining what certain phrases that people post on their bios actually mean from their experience.
Whether we love them or loathe them, dating apps have turned dating into a whole other beast. Some people use apps like Tinder for finding long-term relationships and you wouldn’t believe how many of my friends have gone on just one date and then settled down with that person, moving in together after just a few months. It’s the last thing you’d expect from Tinder.
Yep, totally with you on this. Although could probably go as far as Bored Panda, with Netflix on in the background. I may be describing my current activities...
Load More Replies...Yeah, I mention Netflix on my profile because it's one of the things I want to share with someone. I have other hobbies, and I list them, and I'll absolutely go out and do things with you, and I say that, but most nights I'm either working on my own projects (and would rather do that alone) or watching Netflix, and I want someone who's the same.
They didn't say it was their "hobby" they just said they enjoyed it. Geez, a lot of these people need to calm down.
What's the harm in enjoying Netflix and admitting it? Why is almost everything a man does even if it's not related to women offensive to women? I'm not a man, but i know this world has now started making simple men as scrapgoat for others.
There's nothing wrong with enjoying Netflix but listing it as a hobby is like announcing your favorite ice cream is vanilla or favorite color is blue or that your best personality trait is 'nice.' Everyone's is. You're just announcing the individual preferences that distinguish you from the herd are everyone else's baseline.
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It’s what I do when I’m doing homework and writing reports, so I suppose it’s the opposite for me Jenni
I'm glad I'm not the only one trying to get the night time thoughts to stop. I think about cookies or cake XD even if I don't eat it, it makes me happy
I could never date someone posing with an animal corpse. "I enjoy killing" isn't really the vibe I'm looking for in a potential partner
That's 90% of profiles in northwest Wisconsin. I have a disclosure on MY profile saying that we will not match if he has a picture of his latest kill on his profile.
Load More Replies...For some reason a fish doesn’t seem weird to me. A deer does, but a fish I wouldn’t think twice about.
Load More Replies...It's the ones that say I love you and want to be with you.When you haven't met them you have to be cautious of.
For the first point, I'd say it depends on the situation. Hunting for food means the person can self provide what they need. For the second point YOU ARE DOING IT YOURSELF BY POSTING THIS WHOLE COMMENT. And for the third the person may very well be trying to give you an out in case you don't feel good about it. They don't know you like you do. In that case don't you think it's more considerate and carring that judgmental? I'm not saying people are all good, but these points are not automatic red flags.
Nothing wrong with being self sufficient and hunting for food. But being proud about killing and taking a picture with a corpse creeps me out
Load More Replies...What? This is a huge generalization. First of all, some people just hate talking about politics and political parties. Second of all, it is not every guy's chief aim with dating to "get laid".
That is right some guys truly want a relationship
Load More Replies...Or he has little to no interest in the subject and little to no interest in discussing it.
On the whole social media is more "liberal" than "conservative", but I think she underestimates how non-political most people are.
This one is not correct. I am not political. I have opinions, but I don't really bother with the political process as it's broken. I am neither conservative or liberal. My opinions and views are my own and not adopted based on a political party's. And, I am sure that I am not the only person that is like that.
That's great. It's also arrogant. Politics is life and death for some people these days, what with one party led by white supremacists and the other trying to fight against that. Must be rough not to have to worry.
Load More Replies...Believe it or not, most people don't want to spend a first date talking politics. I am there to meet the person not their politics.
Apparently, a lot of people won't date them which is why they're lying.
Load More Replies...While others have been using online dating so much that they’ve got what’s known as dating app fatigue. More and more people are relying on the internet to help meet potential dates, so there’s less of a feeling that you’re taking a risk and making a genuine connection when compared to asking someone out in real life.
Dear Pandas, what do you think of dating apps? Do you have any advice for people who are new to online dating? Do you prefer asking someone out in real life or over the internet? Share your thoughts with all the other readers.
I think any real women is literal, there are like 3 to 1 fake profiles for females in these sites. Plus the real women respond less. So you're actually not sure if the're real profiles
Oh, come on! It would sound just as bitter if a woman wrote 'are there any real men on here'.
Load More Replies...The long list always describes a woman who only exists in his fantasies and never in any reality—-and of course his appearance shouldn’t matter. Get a sex doll, incel, and leave real women alone.
Women do this too, but the list is longer and more ridiculous. We only tell other women about our millionaire astronaut supermodel secret agent boyfriend with a good sense of humor that likes puppies and is good with kids.
Load More Replies...Being completely honest, looks was never the first thing I thought of. It was in there yeah, but it's not anywhere near as high on the list as being dependable. I know that sounds like a load of b******t, but when you meet the cruelest sorts of people, the last thing on your mind is silly c**p like "looks"... it's "are you nice to me, genuinely, without wanting something...?"
hhh my god my biggest dating app pet hate XD A child can't consent to their photos appearing on a dating app, if I grew up then learnt my uncle/aunt had a photo with me on a dating app I'd be pretty hacked off. Lots of weirdos out there, keep kids off your dating photos pls D: D: D: auto no from me
I'm at Argentina now and you should see an amount of pics with babies on tinder. They love kids and they are very proud of them. But i am very sad about moms of these kids, who doesn't know that her bf/husband are using a pic of their newborn to get laid.
That is absolutely disgusting post. What if a woman posted a picture with a child ? Then it is considered absolutely acceptable and shows shew is a good mum/aunt/good with kids.if a man does the same you already think there is something wrong with him? That speaks more about you than him!
GO SEXISM GO! F*****g b***h. It's disgusting that men have to explain that children are their niece, nephew, adopted child, he'll I recall this disgusting story where police caught a man cause he was with his young daughter and she took after the mother but it was a interracial marriage so she wasn't white like her dad mother was spanish
I would also be very worried if he aimed for four exclamation marks but only managed three.
Ah, I see. And this applies solely to males, does it, you shallow turd?
I'm drama free. The most drama in my life is my cat deciding to wake me up by sitting on my face. I don't want anything to do with other peoples drama either. I've dated people who had non-stop drama with other people. It was intrusive (invited by her I guess) into our lives, a huge waste of time and stopped me from doing things I wanted to do. So yeah, not wanting drama in my life doesn't make me the common denominator. But now I can see it before I commit so it's not hard to avoid.
Why is sarcasm a flag? I see women with that in their bio quite often
people use “sarcasm” as an excuse to be an a*s sometimes
Load More Replies...saying "I respect women" repeatedly and without prompting, and taking any opportunity to inject it into the conversation... a bit of a red flag for me. I know that seems strange- it's not an automatic no for me, but it does make me very very uneasy... Don't talk the talk, walk the walk. Respectfully let me decide that.
Damnit Liz - "Speaks fluent sarcasm" is part of MY profile... because that's who I am. Maybe you should learn to speak it too!!!
Scorsese said he doesn't want people watching it on their phones.
Load More Replies...or maybe he's not boring and expects the same from potential partner ? :P
"You have emotional baggage" buddy it sounds like YOU have emotional baggage with a list like this
With a name like that michal, you must have a lot
Load More Replies...Know the difference between 'your' and 'you're' for crying out loud!
Yup, I see this a lot. Totally not interested in meeting someone with a list of "don't be..."
"Emotional baggage"? Okay b***h date an AI then. You clearly dont want a NORMAL person with FEELINGS!
That is obnoxious but ahhh so is the intimation that education == intelligence.
LOL, one of my date's profile photos were at least 10 years old, judging by the difference in hair and weight when I met him IRL. When I declined a second date he accused me of not being genuine. Look in the mirror, buddy.
These are the same guys that wear sunglasses in all of their profile pictures.
I'm a photographer XD and while I don't think anyone should edit the living heck outta their images, I can't say I would entirely call it false advertising... the camera does not always see you how you actually look, without good hard practice and hours of work. You can be beautiful, but not photogenic.
Possibly the dumbest thing I've read. Yes, it is false advertising and no, it's not criticizing women. It's calling them out on their BS!!
Maybe don't filter yourself to the point where your own phone won't recognize you.
I fit! I fit in my car, my clothes, and my life! So sorry to hear that you do not, but thank you for trying!
*Will cheat on you and micromanage your weight. God help you if you have a child.
“Ruin me”? Are you really so fragile or corruptible? Sad sad little boy.
I've been coming up on this a lot. Also I get men who urgently want me to join google hangout. Why is this? Is it a scam?
When I see 'sapiosexual', I lose interest. My brain is not here to entertain you.
Don't mean to sound dumb, but what does sapiosexual mean?
Load More Replies...Sapiosexual is just a term someone made up to feel superior. Okay, so you like intelligent people. That isn't it's own orientation.
I know, it's disrespectful to actual sexual orientations. Sapiosexual isn't a sexual orientation
Load More Replies...I've learned that people who need to put sapiosexual in their bio are usually not the sharpest tools in the shed
Load More Replies...I don't get this but I see it pretty often. I thought the app automatically calculates your age. My age updated on my birthday. I guess they put in the wrong year? Do they think we won't figure it out?
This one confuses me. Why would someone want to get into a relationship with this guy if he's already thinking about it ending in ex's? Ummmm, no.
Jeff Goldblum's character in Jurassic Park said it. It was funny that time and hasn't been ever since. The joke for me was his low expectations for himself.
Load More Replies...Perhaps she is already done with you and has no interest left in you or your life
Ana J, she's talking about her OWN experiences on Tinder and sharing. Not assuming to talk about things you've been through.
well, If Im not having a good time with you, I will not stay with you for long, girl. Because, whats the point?
This one does sound bitter, but dating apps do have a lot uninteresting small talk happening in them.
Well, its kind of rude about profile pics and i bet he just copied that from somewhere but he is right. Picture must be real. You don't want to spend an evening with a man who is obviously dissapointed that your look is very different from your pics.
I've never been on a dating site so I don't know if the first one means something (like people ask for it but really want something else) but when I was stationed in Germany I had a female friend who I traveled all over Europe with. We were friends and it was nice to have someone else to share experiences with, not to mention safer. Neither of us had any interest in the other beyond basic friendship and it was mostly based on travel.
Yeah but if someone wanted a travel buddy they wouldn't be searching on a dating app or site.
Load More Replies...I'd go halfway on the second statement --- If you don't look like your profile pics, you've started our conversation with lying to my face. I've cleared my evening now for you, so you start by somewhat making it up to me (as in, you pay). If we hit it off, fine, looks don't matter that much and we can have a laugh; we'll leave alone most probably tho.
Wouldn't it be a twist if they looked better in person?
Load More Replies...I actually look like my photos and I am in reasonably good shape...not the guys I have met on here. Last one I met for lunch bragged about how he is always up surging the beached in my area. Dude had such a big gut when I met him out in Malibu, he could not even fit in a booth so we had to move to a table. Lots of recovering addicts...tons of narcissists and a whole gaggle of in/under employed. Virtually all if them looking for instant casual sex but claim they want a relationship. SMDH
Disagree. I am not mean, but very sarcastic. There is a huge difference. I mean, a lot of the comments I put on BP are sarcastic! (and I note them as such).
However, if you consider "sarcasm" to be your entire personality, you're probably an a*****e
Load More Replies...If it’s one of a decent sized list of other descriptors, OK. If it’s the only thing on the list,, pass.
I don't get this though, isn't that how you get to know each other? Asking questions about stuff that interests you about the other person.
I think the reason is that most dating apps ask people to describe themselves. Good indicator for personality, hobbies or things they're passionate about. It's straight to the left when people couldn't be bothered to write anything about themselves.
Load More Replies...Yeah super weird. There must be a second post about such girls on tinder. They never put info about themselves of photos describing their hobbies but demand guys to start conversation first. C'mon - dude loves fishing and proud of his catch, can provide a food for you. There is so many things to ask. Prfff
what's wrong with looking for the pam to my jim besides the fact that no one will ever live up to jim halpert
Third one is cliched, but not a red flag. We need to dial this stuff back a bit. Pretty soon, just swiping will be a red flag.
They’re looking for sugar mamas they can mooch off of until they’re rightfully dumped, at which time they start advertising for the next one.
Such a great article! I love online dating most and meet Filipina girls! Has anyone here tried the free Filipina dating site Filipino4U c o m? I've heard great things about them. I'm also looking for any other legitimate totally free Asian sites, any suggestions?
I'm trying to leave a comment and it's not working this app sucks to whatever it is bored panda never heard of it before I'll try to sending this again asking for my name and stuff and I did then it goes to my spam what?
If I'm gonna date a man, I want to know what he does for a living, not how much he makes. If he's unemployed I want to know it too, because I prefer a balanced relationship where we both work and are economically independent.
Load More Replies...I think this one's actually pretty good, doesn't scream red flag like the others.
I think it's good to say you're not politically involved right off the bat. That way those who are very involved can avoid a bad date.
Not being political is not the same as not having an opinion. Not being political is not involving oneself with the political process. Having an opinion on life, the world, and even the political process is normal. But, if the political process is broken, what's the point in voting?
That's why it's broken. People like you don't vote. There are more of us than there are of them.
Load More Replies...I don't understand this one. Being apolitical doesn't mean you have no opinions about life matters. You can have opinions, you just aren't interested in the Which-politician-f****d-up-today game show.
This is the opposite of the truth. Caring about politics is a luxury. If you are a single parent working two jobs you have more immediate concerns. Going to protests and educating yourself on issues won’t be your top priority.
Polyamori 🙄. Said by a guy whose wife had given birth 6 months ago. Gulped my beer and left.
That's swinger lingo. Not necessarily a red flag. Would you rather them lie?
Not necessarily a swinger, in fact probably not (see my comment to CrunChewy). But I'm with you - if they're not lying about it, there's probably no red flag here.
Load More Replies...I don't understand why this is a red flag? It may not be their cup of tea, but I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with polyamory.
Often the other partner is not aware of the “polyamory.”
Load More Replies...No, it means they are ethically non-monogamous. That encompasses swinging (which is about sex, generally discouraging emotions), polyamory (which is about full relationships with multiple people, including sex and emotions and meeting your friends etc) and many other iterations. On a dating app, I suspect it wouldn't mean swinging because that's usually done at swinging parties with your main partner, not alone online.
Load More Replies...It's good to be honest what you're looking for. Not everyone is interested in sex with a stranger. Not everyone is looking for a relationship either.
C'mon, lady - no one is shaming you here. If you feel insecure about reason that brought you on tinder that is only your thing. And maybe that will be a surprise for you but tinder isn't just a quick sex finder app. There is a plenty of nice men, who is looking for serious relationships. You're just angry that you don't match his expectations. Tinder is just a tool, like a hatchet and its up to you what would you do with it - a pile of wood chips or a statue.
Exactly Kaisu!!!! It doesn't mean you have "standards" to sleep with someone you're not dating??? Ana J you are very judgmental based of your comments on these... it's 2019 it's okay for both men and WOMEN to explore their sexuality and live their life. Sometimes something will blossom between two people and sometimes it doesn't and that's okay???
Exactly! There's nothing wrong with two people having fun, safe sex for one night and never seeing each other again. People should be allowed to safely explore their sexuality and have fun with it without immediately becoming attached to the other person.
Load More Replies...There's nothing wrong with this one. It just means you want to find someone with similar interests. It's a common phrase.
What is the problem with this? Heck, what is the problem with MOST of these things on this list?
This one doesn't seem bad either. My partner and I call ourselves that all the time. Can anyone explain to me why this is a red flag?
For real? How is that a red flag in any way? That's just being picky and judgemental.
THIS. But, in all fairness, women use it as much. PLEASE, humans, don't. It's cheesy, outdated and 99% of times it is simply not true
But what if you want to do some crime and you really need a partner?
Load More Replies...A lot of people in this list need to learn that just because you personally dislike something doesn't mean it's a "red flag" and wrong.
While I agree all of these behaviors are obnoxious, I do have to say that I've seen a version of almost every one of these entries in a lot of women's profiles.
Agreed, once I registered as a guy to see my competition, scary.
Load More Replies...I've been on Tinder for a year and an half before quitting, tried everything, got three unremarkable dates with two different ladies. The only way to win at this game is not to play
Giovanni, I'm sorry your experiences with online dating have been bad and I really hope you find what you're looking for!
Load More Replies...Some of these red flags are legitimate red flags and others just sound like the woman is looking for an excuse to be upset about something. I used to do dating apps but don't anymore. However, I don't find anything wrong with them. The whole thing that everyone needs to remember on dating apps is to just be careful and be safe.
Talking about the ex (or exes) in the very first dates. Hmm....no.
Thank God i got married long before all this online and texting bs. If he dies...thats it im gonna become that weird cat lady.
I thought that this could be a fun post, but after going through the first ones I really felt sorry for those who get made fun of as "red flags". Even the intro is so entirely wrong in my opinion: I want someone who doesn’t take themselves too seriously = I will treat you carelessly and tell you to lighten up. <<< THAT IS SO WRONG. There is a quote that I love and it says: the graveyards of these world, are filled with people who believed they are irreplaceable. I went through a lot of s**t in my life and I value my strength in not giving a s**t about anything and being depressed because life hands me lemons. So I would wipe right reading that someone wants someone who doesn't take himself too serious. I mean look at most people on Tinder or in SoMe in general. They are in love with their fake-selves. They are driven by the wish to be seen and worshipped and they believe that just because 25k people follow them, they are better people. Nobody likes to be lonely.
And we live in a society where nobody knows what is going on anymore. Where you have to be a feminist on side, but man up on the other. We can't approach women anymore and flirt, because it is sexist. Unless we are hot and the woman is interested. It's like everyone creates his own rules, his own red flags and then we go into battle against each other. Me too, f**k you, lets f**k, not you.... s**t got confusing. And you are dismissing people on s**t you are interpreting in their profiles. Not everyone is funny and witty. Not everyone is a douche. Some are new to this, even when they are signed in at Tinder for years already. Maybe they still havnt figured out. But does this mean they are bad people? Be serious... In the end it depends on how attracted you are to someone on the first view. The rest ist just depending on that. One guy will write something really sexy and you will swipe right because he is hot. The other will write the same, but he is not your type and now he is a creep
Load More Replies...A lot of people in this list need to learn that just because you personally dislike something doesn't mean it's a "red flag" and wrong.
While I agree all of these behaviors are obnoxious, I do have to say that I've seen a version of almost every one of these entries in a lot of women's profiles.
Agreed, once I registered as a guy to see my competition, scary.
Load More Replies...I've been on Tinder for a year and an half before quitting, tried everything, got three unremarkable dates with two different ladies. The only way to win at this game is not to play
Giovanni, I'm sorry your experiences with online dating have been bad and I really hope you find what you're looking for!
Load More Replies...Some of these red flags are legitimate red flags and others just sound like the woman is looking for an excuse to be upset about something. I used to do dating apps but don't anymore. However, I don't find anything wrong with them. The whole thing that everyone needs to remember on dating apps is to just be careful and be safe.
Talking about the ex (or exes) in the very first dates. Hmm....no.
Thank God i got married long before all this online and texting bs. If he dies...thats it im gonna become that weird cat lady.
I thought that this could be a fun post, but after going through the first ones I really felt sorry for those who get made fun of as "red flags". Even the intro is so entirely wrong in my opinion: I want someone who doesn’t take themselves too seriously = I will treat you carelessly and tell you to lighten up. <<< THAT IS SO WRONG. There is a quote that I love and it says: the graveyards of these world, are filled with people who believed they are irreplaceable. I went through a lot of s**t in my life and I value my strength in not giving a s**t about anything and being depressed because life hands me lemons. So I would wipe right reading that someone wants someone who doesn't take himself too serious. I mean look at most people on Tinder or in SoMe in general. They are in love with their fake-selves. They are driven by the wish to be seen and worshipped and they believe that just because 25k people follow them, they are better people. Nobody likes to be lonely.
And we live in a society where nobody knows what is going on anymore. Where you have to be a feminist on side, but man up on the other. We can't approach women anymore and flirt, because it is sexist. Unless we are hot and the woman is interested. It's like everyone creates his own rules, his own red flags and then we go into battle against each other. Me too, f**k you, lets f**k, not you.... s**t got confusing. And you are dismissing people on s**t you are interpreting in their profiles. Not everyone is funny and witty. Not everyone is a douche. Some are new to this, even when they are signed in at Tinder for years already. Maybe they still havnt figured out. But does this mean they are bad people? Be serious... In the end it depends on how attracted you are to someone on the first view. The rest ist just depending on that. One guy will write something really sexy and you will swipe right because he is hot. The other will write the same, but he is not your type and now he is a creep
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