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Family relationships are hard. We care about the people closest to us, so we try to make it work even when we’re going through difficult times with them. But there’s only so much our hearts can take. Enough lying, manipulation, and betrayal will eventually push the kindest of us past our limits, too.
Interested in what that looks like, actor and creator Joshua Triplett asked his online followers who went no contact with their parents to describe the final straw. In the personal stories that he received, the circumstances might be different, but the pain is felt just as deeply.
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#1
My mother was scream spitting in my 14 yr old's face threatening them with physical violence because the sick child was napping in the living room(at our home) and not his bedroom when she stopped by. Its been 12 years and I dont regret standing up for my children
Multa Nocte (she/her/86 47) 11 hours ago
I sure hope this is an AI pic because BP uses this woman's photo all the time when they tell stories of horrible, mean, nasty, terrible women. If I saw her in real life I would run away in horror, shrieking.
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#2
I cut my mom off when she wanted me to keep a pregnancy at 13 to get more money from welfare.
One study, drawing on thousands of interviews with adult children, found that 26 percent reported estrangement from their fathers. A much smaller share, 6 percent, had cut ties with their mothers.
“I think it relates to this new desire to have healthy relationships,” says Rin Reczek, a sociology professor at the Ohio State University and lead author of the study. “There might be some cultural shifts around people being allowed to choose who is in your family. And that can include not choosing to have the person who raised you be in your family.”
Pop culture has been filling up with stories of Gen Z adults cutting off helicopter parents. At the same time, books such as Rules of Estrangement: Why Adult Children Cut Ties and How to Heal the Conflict and Fault Lines: Fractured Families and How to Mend Them have flown off the shelves.
#3
My parents split when l was young and my father was supposed to pick us up on weekends. Most of the time, he never showed. I was 14 when l was invited on a camping trip. I needed a few other items so l called & asked if he could take me shopping. He said yes but never showed up. My mom gave my sister the money and told her to take me to take me shopping and she did. He called a week later and I told him "You and I will never speak again." I was 14. I'm now 53 and I've held true to that promise.
#4
My dad was complaining about the MeToo movement, so I listed for him some of the harassment I've experienced, just in the workplace. He chuckled. At every vile thing these men said to me, he chuckled. One particularly vile thing a boss had said to me, he laughed and said "that's a good one, I'll have to remember that"
Earonn - 12 hours ago
Germany had a similar movement, "Aufschrei" (outcry) a few years before MeToo. Usually decent male friends of mine wondered if all the stories women put online weren't "a bit exagerrated". I told them how often I had been verbally or physically se.xually harassed, up to attempted gang ra.pe. I think, what hit it home for them was me saying that in my female friends' group I was the lucky one because I was "only" almost ra.ped (I was 9, btw). They had the decency to apologise and think about it. If my father had laughed at such things, I'd punched his face and go NC immediately. But yeah, that's what you have to deal with.
#5
When my dad continued to treat me like trash while treating his other two kids like royalty. He always treated me like the black sheep, all of a sudden I’m his most successful child and now he wants to claim me, absolutely not. I literally go to therapy because of him.
Stay tf away from me fr!
Kate Johnson 6 hours ago
I'd say, "If I'm successful, it's certainly despite you not because of you. You are a worthless POS"
As for why fathers are far more frequent targets of estrangement than mothers, according to Reczek, that statistic is partly about divorce—a split that generally leaves children in the care of their mothers. And it’s partly about the emotional chasm that often separates fathers and children.
“A lot of the adult children I talk to, they don’t really know their fathers,” Reczek adds. “They don’t have a really close relationship with them. And that leads to estrangement.”
#6
My father left my sole dog in the backyard and a coyote got him. A part of me left that that day because I love that dog more than myself. I do not have a father anymore.
Kristin 15 hours ago
And some people think having a soul dog is "ridiculous" but I had one as well and my heart was crushed when I found her. She had tried jumping the fence, her collar got stuck and hung herself. Im still a deep animal lover and take of every animal I come across. Im so sorry that happen and I would've went no contact as well
#7
My dad had a procedure done and needed me to drive him . So I wake myself and my toddler up 4 am in the winter cold and drove over an hour away to bring him . Stayed until he was done to bring him back home . On the way home he noticed my acne scars and said “no wonder you picked me up in the dark all those marks look so ugly “ that didn’t hurt my feelings what hurt was the fact I dragged myself and my 3 yr old out the bed to help you and you insult me ! After years of insults I just had enough
Geobugi🇰🇷🇰🇭 9 hours ago
What sort of person would say that to their child? I could never do this, nothing that helps the child and o think if you have nothing nice to say, shut up
#9
The last time I spoke to my dad was two years ago, on Father’s Day. I had driven my whole family out to the park because my parents’ car wasn’t working as per usual
He started screaming at me after I pulled into a slightly different entrance and parked in a slightly different parking area than the one he had ordered me to
I was like “you can’t talk to me like this” and he was like “that’s some liberal garbage” and “there’s not going to be a Fathers’ Day next year”
I never spoke to him again
#10
When my mom missed my Doctoral Graduation. She has missed my HS, Bachelors, Masters and Doctoral graduation ceremonies. I will not continue to hurt myself with hope that she will choose me let alone celebrate me.
#11
I got into a car accident due to a seizure. I’ve had epilepsy my whole life. Instead of them helping me get back on my feet, they isolated me from my child and telling people they had to take care of my child because I couldn’t.
Earonn - 12 hours ago
In case you're wondering: usually as an epileptic you're allowed to drive once you've been seizure-free for about 5 years (surely different from country to country) and a neurologist gives green light. And often you feel a seizure coming so that even if driving, there'd be enough time to stop the car.
#12
When she kicked me and son out her house a few days after i lost my house due to a tornado ripping thru . My son was only 8 months . I didn’t care about me but she said both of us and it was -2 weather outside .
#14
My step dad passed away and my mom got a lot of money from his life insurance. She was giving a lot of people thousands of dollars just because. I was starting a new job and asked her for $1k to buy a car and told her I'll pay her back in 1 month. She ignored me for 3 days. I called my sister panicking because didn't know if something happened to her. My sister told me she's been telling everyone she was ignoring me while giving other people money. She also bought my brother a car lol. I blocked her
#15
I was tired of my mother never having a nice thing to say about my children, me, my life, every choice I ever made, or any person she ever came in contact with. So negative and I didn’t need it anymore. My daughter asked, do I have to invite grandma? I knew enough was enough.
KatSaidThat 9 hours ago
It's sometimes glorious that kids don't have boundaries and will say what everyone else was thinking.
#17
My dad ruined my sons first birthday party by kicking the clowns out so a band could play, and left without saying goodbye because i refused to let them play the entire party. I endured so much generational trauma. I will never put my children through that.
#18
When he bragged about his exes daughter being a freshman in college for chemical engineering and how smart she is, then asked me when am I gonna be done with my “little nursing thing”. I’m his only child btw. 7 years no contact 😊
Kate Johnson 6 hours ago
Hope his ex's daughter wants tot take care of him when he's old, or he's SOL.
#19
I had recently lost my job and I was behind on rent and literally couldn’t afford food. I asked my dad for money to get some groceries. He told me he would give me the money in person and I literally sat at the window waiting for him like a child.
He never showed up.
Good riddance.
#20
For my husband it was refusing to accept our autistic child and only wanting a relationship with our neurotypical child
Kate Johnson 6 hours ago
Hopefully the neurotypical child wanted absolutely nothing to do with him and he could do away with the pretense that he is anything but a s***m donor.
#21
Hearing from my daughter that my mother would make me cry on purpose, because she knew she could. She bragged about this to my sister, in front of my daughter.
#22
My mother never took the time to meet my daughter. My daughter turns 13 in September.
#23
Got so trashed at my reception she couldn't walk or speak I was so embarrassed. Then she decided to not invite me to any holidays or celebrations and made it as if I hated my family bc after rhe entire yr she sent a very backhanded invite to Christmas. I ignored it and been NC since.
#24
Told my mom how she treated me for the last 20 years wasn’t ok and her response was “You’re still stuck on that?”
#25
When it was clear that boundaries meant nothing. I just had my first born and she started the lying and the drama. I was in my last year of university, had a newborn, was hormonal as hell and mama bear came out when I realized that I needed to protect my kid. 23 years ago.
#26
My mom didn't talk to me for 5 months because I told her to go to therapy .
Now she wants to talk but doesn't want to hear what I have to say.
I told her to call me after going to therapy. Doubt I'll get that call.
#27
I asked him to acknowledge the trauma that happened to me because of his choices. Acknowledge, not apologize.
He refused. We didn't speak for 13 years up until 6 months ago when my sister passed away.
#28
So still kinda fresh for me (like by a week or so), my snapping point is my father chose my 25th birthday to get married on this year because it’s the day “that I made him a man 25 years ago”. He didn’t even bother leaving me on read when I told him a 21 yr old knocking up a 14 yr 25 years ago doesnt make someone a man especially when they’re absent for most of their life and sisters lives but raised the only male (my brother is the only boy and I have 4 sisters)
#29
When they made racist jokes about my interracial child.
#30
When my parent brought me into a room at age 38 and my dad berated me for 2 hours and 37 min while my mom amen’d him about how i wasn’t a good anything (wife, mom, teacher etc) in front of my baby sister who was 23. Out of his 9 kids, I’m actually the “best” mom, wife, etc. I was the number one teacher for the entire 20 years I taught. He got to calling my child names. I sat there and took it and then when i walked out of their house, blocked and never spoke to them again. That was 7 years ago…
Multa Nocte (she/her/86 47) 10 hours ago
Who sits still to be yelled at for 2 hours and 37 minutes, including when the person calls your child names?
#31
“I was always there for you, you owe me big time!” This coming from the man who was never there, and barely knew what my first name was.
#32
The very last straw? It was a process, but the final straw was when my mother sided with my father against me 2 months ago. My mother told me a story of my father holding out my infant sister at arms length and threatening to drop her (40+ years ago). They also divorced 40+ years ago.
Tell me why this woman STILL tells me to keep the peace with my father (woman beater extraordinaire)?
I can’t.
So I stopped talking to them both
#33
I got exposed to Covid at work in 2019, got tested. Dad & his wife said if I was negative I could come over and celebrate Christmas. Negative results Christmas morning, they still didn’t want me to come. It clicked that I was never really wanted in their lives and I spent the day crying and then at my best friend’s house with her family.
#34
My FIL drove home drunk with his wife in the car (my pos MIL) and then held me hostage in a room and screamed at me while I begged him to let me leave. That’s what kicked it off
#35
When she sent me a list of demands on how I need to act or she'll withdraw from the relationship. Wish I had that option when I was 9. Perpetual victim.
#36
For my mother - she harassed me and my relatives (legal guardians) all the way till I turned 18. She showed up uninvited and unexpectedly to my HS graduation w/ a completely different demeanor as if nothing happened. Fck her.
For my dad - showed up to my hospital psych job as a patient and told everyone my business w/out specifically saying my name. Just told staff “my daughter works here and she got this, this, and that and our main family just passed away” just going on and on.
#37
My dad telling me that, "I'm not his daughter", but sending me a friend request on Facebook after retrieving that account after 10 year's. Hell no!!!
KatSaidThat 9 hours ago
I'd accept it, remind him on his wall what he did and then unfriend him. Not block for a few days, just to see the drama for a bit first.
#38
In the middle of the covid lockdown my mom messaged me demanding money “i owed her” when she doubled my rent at home a few months before i moved out. No how are you, no asking if i got covid, no asking about my own bills bec i needed to close my store and pay my staff…just basically requiring me to pay her because she had so many bills. That was the last straw.
#39
When asked if he wanted to hug me on my wedding day he said “nah, I’m good”
#40
When she spent 30 minutes berating my husband in a public place and he never said a word in response because he just wanted it over. She then left me a message and the last words were “I wish I never had you…”. Then I knew.
Multa Nocte (she/her/86 47) 11 hours ago
You're a chip off the old block if she berated your husband in public for 30 minutes and you watched it happen.
#41
When I got pregnant and told my grandparents. I was told my baby would be an abomination cause I wasn’t married. And they didn’t really want anything to do with me. (Mind you I was in my late 20s) Then when I miscarried 3 weeks later. I got a very long text about how incredibly sorry they were. And they understood my pain. And a whole lot more. But I was done. I couldn’t believe how two faced it was.
#42
Telling me i abandoned him because i chose to live back with my mom due to him neglecting my basic needs as a child..
#43
My dad was in prison most of my childhood. I had already been out and flourishing since I was 14. When he finally got out when I was 18 everything was cool but him realizing that being gay is who I am didn’t sit with him and he “disowned” me and I’ve never looked back.
#44
He broke into my apartment and berated my guests, threw lit cigarette ashes at me, and screamed like a cm from my ear because I had to get a restraining order against him for... obvious reasons.
#45
My mom got married to her boyfriend of 18 years on my wedding day. Same date, same year, all that.
#46
She missed every single ceremony I’ve ever had and then asked me if she can take My Son to my cousins graduation. She gained the son that day lost her daughter
#47
When I asked my daddy if he even loved me? And, I started going to a therapist to heal from all the trauma from my childhood.
#48
My dad and mom split a few years ago, they haven’t divorced. He would have parties and never invite my sister or I. His siblings would ask why we never went (he would tell them he invited us), he started inviting the same day or late the night before. I was finally done when he wanted us to go for last Christmas, but didn’t tell me it was because he was going to propose to his new girlfriend. I thankfully didn’t go, he now posts her sons all the time calling them “his boys”.
#49
My mom lied about who my father was. Turns out it was his brother. Now both my uncle daddy and daddy uncle are both gone. I didn’t find out my my uncle was actually my dad until 11 years after he passed away and my dad left when I was 4 because he found out I wasn’t his. I found out he passed 3 years ago doing a google search after 30 years of no contact. And it’s been about 8 years of no contact with any of my family.
#50
My dad taking presents out from under the Christmas tree which were for my nephews and had both my mom and my names on them (they were going through a divorce) he had everyone in tears. I never spoke to him again, he me wrote out of his will, I wasn’t in his obituary and he died 3 years later.
#51
Being expected to pay a $4000 ambulance bill because she decided to go get wasted in another country fall down the stairs and all of a sudden it was my responsibility
#52
99% sure my dads ‘cancer’ was fake, 19 years of gas lighting and being told he doesn’t give a flying f if we don’t have a relationship
#53
I cut my mother off at 18 because she was only okay with me being gay if I dated white women. I only tried to reconnect at 21 because my gf (now wife) said I should try again. When the met my mother asked her to translate Spanish for my sister's husband....my wife is Burmese and does not speak spanish. I haven't talked to her or made an effort to reconnect since then.
#54
My mom and sister came over to drop off Christmas presents for my daughter and I.
And the entire time they acted as if I didn't exist, only my daughter. My mom took it a step further and didn't speak a word to me, even when I addressed her directly.
I pretty shortly after told her my door was closed. I haven't heard from neither my mom nor my sister since that day.
#55
My mother keeps cutting my son's hair every time he goes over. For yrs, I've been trying to grow his hair and she keeps getting in the way.
She never liked ME to begin with, and since im the only of her children that moved out & doesn't live w/ her; She tries to mess w/ me by messing w/ son
#56
Not entirely cut off my dad- but when I told him after his mother’s funeral that he could just send me messages to chat and keep up he said he didn’t really have a reason to.
I only text on holidays now.
#57
Don’t laugh too loud with this.
My father spoke to me about how angry he was about how the world treats fathers on Father’s Day. I said I get the plight and the message but you’re the wrong messenger. You were absent in all of your kids lives. That day ain’t meant for you. He said absent?! I was there for every one of your birthdays and graduations …. I’ve graduated on my birthday most my life yall my bday is 6/25. Yep that was it.
#58
I could and that was all I needed. I patiently waited for the opportunity and never looked back. My mother was not a good person. She was a bitter, mean, male centered, resentful of her children, because of the men she laid down with, constantly telling us we were on the streets when we turned 18 without giving us any valuable life skills to survive at all and she raised her kids to fend for ourselves instead of believing in family just a horrible human.
Susan Teter 5 hours ago
She DID make you strong...strong enough to walk away and never look back.
What do you think ?
Geobugi🇰🇷🇰🇭 8 hours ago
Some of them very hard to understand but maybe because i am to lazy to read it again
Geobugi🇰🇷🇰🇭 8 hours ago
Some of them very hard to understand but maybe because i am to lazy to read it again
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