Woman Says Nerds Make The Best Hubbies, Others Jump In To Explain Why It’s A Thing
Turns out, you don’t need to embark on an epic fantasy quest to a realm far, far away to find that one true love. Or maybe you do? It all depends on what corporeal existence you consider the friendzone to be.
In any case, it shouldn’t be too far of a trek, as someone made of quality boyfriend material is actually what you’d colloquially call a nerd. And if he exudes an aura of nerdiness with a bunch of Star Wars, Harry Potter, Dungeons and Dragons and other kinds of geeky swag, he’s a keeper, and we have folks arguing just how true that is.
More Info: TikTok
“Where the hell y’all be finding these men that are obsessed with you, are good fathers, can take care you, spoil you…?”
“They’re nerds. They’re nerds! You go for the nerd.”
Image credits: @theisabelbrown
“It honestly blows my mind how we have this entire trope in American literature and movies and TV shows about…”
“… the nerdy girl who gets the glow up when she grows up and she was this unsuspecting girl next door, always nose in a book, loves the fantasy series and movies girl who then becomes super hot and amazing. But we don’t see that for men.”
Image credits: Gustavo Fring (not the actual photo)
“I want you to hear me loud and clear when I say this, so listen up:”
“if he owns a lightsaber—green flag. If he has purchased a wand from the Wizarding World of Harry Potter—greenest possible flag. If he has an unhealthy obsession with Ahsoka Tano, you better run to the altar.”
“Bonus points if he’s obsessed with Monopoly because those little underestimated nerd boys grow up to be men who see what’s in here [gestures at the heart].”
Image credits: @theisabelbrown
You can check out the full video below
@theisabelbrown Nerds make the best husbands. It’s a fact.♬ original sound – Isabel Brown
So, the internet was all in on the idea that you gotta go for the nerds. More often than not, they’ve gone through the right kind of training to make them boyfriend material
Image credits: Alex Kotliarskyi (not the actual photo)
So, TikTok user @thequeenisbackkkk, a.k.a. Riley, raised a question that’s been on people’s minds for quite a while, it seems: “Where the hell y’all be finding these men that are obsessed with you, are good fathers, can take care of you, spoil you…?”
You get the point.
Some time later (like, nearly a year after the original video… actually, many stitches later too), the video was picked up by Isabel Brown, streamer, author, and overall influencer, who gave a quick, spot-on answer to Riley saying that it’s nerds.
She continued to say just how baffling it is to think that there’s this entire American trope about a shy, ultra nerdy girl becoming this hot and amazing woman through plot developments and the like, but there is no equivalent for men. Well, there should be.
Isabel cut to the chase and explained that if a guy owns a lightsaber, if they’ve recently bought a wand from the Wizarding World of Harry Potter, if they like Ahsoka Tano or [insert quite literally any other mega nerdy thing here], that is a huge green flag walking right in front you and you should do everything within your power to make that man yours.
Bonus if the guy loves Monopoly (a bit of an interesting one, but OK) because “those little underestimated nerd boys grow up to be men who see what’s in here [gestures at the heart].”
While humorous, it’s important to look out for things like lightsabers, LEGO, Harry Potter wands and general talk about anime in a potential boyfriend
Image credits: Adhen Wijaya Kusuma (not the actual photo)
Oh, no, this ain’t the end, folks. This was actually the beginning of an overdue discussion, a key part of which was @UrDivorceSurvivalGuide’s input. He elaborated on this saying two key things:
The first is that nerds are the people who are always outside looking in. They get excluded from all the cool kid social circles and hence observe them from the outside. That way, they see what’s the good, the bad and the ugly and so they develop positive traits because they get an understanding of the toxicity of jock, pretty boy and other cool kid cultures.
Pair that up with anime, which, more often than not, teaches values that the cool kids are too busy to learn when it comes to love, compassion, honor, perseverance and the like, and you’ve got yourself a nerd who’s also a good person.
These days, most nerds are also keen on improving themselves physically too. This naturally led to them losing the stereotypical nerdy look in favor of a healthily buff person who can bench press not just emotional baggage, but physical as well.
Another TikToker, @ramblinglifter, attested to this. He is a nerd by definition: he works in IT, dabbles in tech, plays games, loves anime, all that jazz. However, his looks—because he worked on those—tend to attract a certain demographic of women. Women who see a jock or a pretty boy in the person, ignoring the nerdiness, which is part of his identity.
What this ultimately boils down to is these types of women don’t have the motivation to accept the nerdiness in nerds. By proxy, they don’t accept the nerd for who he is, and so his needs aren’t met that way. And so it ends up not working out.
It is important to note that women don’t have to be nerds themselves in such a scenario—they do, however, have to like the person and accept and embrace who they are. And if they happen to be a nerd, it just happens to be a part of them.
It is also important to note that going for a nerd for the nerdy quality as a token and not as part of who they are is just not a good romance strategy. Not everyone is for everyone, and prioritizing finding a person that fits you rather than a person who possesses nerdy qualities just because is not going to end well, and its best to save that time and energy for the right guy or gal before dating fatigue kicks in. In fact, this is what some folks online were concerned about—the fact that nerds aren’t for everyone, and that is fine. Because there are non-nerds for them.
Image credits: RDNE stock project (not the actual photo)
A discussion was buzzing in the comment section under Isabel’s video too. The first thing folks suggested checking is the aforementioned friendzone. A lot of nerds end up there one way or another, and there ain’t no shame in taking a peek there to see if you accidentally imprisoned someone there.
Believe it or not, LEGO even chimed in and added another green flag, which was if the guy owns a LEGO set, that’s a very good sign. And Isabel agreed by liking the comment.
Hands down, one of the main topics in the comments was folks pointing out a prime example of a nerd who’s unlike any other—Henry Cavill. Yep, Superman, Geralt of Rivia, Napoleon Solo, that guy built his own computer from scratch, he likes gaming, is in love with a number of fandoms, but otherwise looks like the next step after being a Greek god.
But what are the chances of finding a guy who’s a nerd? Don’t know, but someone did dare to calculate the chances of finding a soulmate. Considering the number of statistics the author referenced to base her reasoning on, the conclusion is this:
Imagine a bowl with 50 balls, all labeled with numbers. Say your soulmate is a particular number—what are the chances of picking that particular one with your eyes closed (get it, love is blind…?). Probably quite low. But despite that, you still have a chance, and if it doesn’t work out, you now have a bowl with 49 balls and your chances are now higher.
So, stay positive out there, y’all. And stay active with your fingers mashing that keyboard in the comment section below!
Folks online were quick to comment on other green flags and to discuss a prime example of a hot nerdy guy, i.e. Henry Cavill
There were some skeptics in the bunch too
Every type of man can be the best man for you, it completely depends on your interests, and not running after some trend to get an accessory partner like a small dog in a handbag
I myself have a nerdy fiance, and so am I, because we both like Mecha, anime, videogames and dinosaurs. But I doubt this would be the right choice for someone who does care about any of that and wants to go hiking every weekend and work out for a hobby.
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Nobody is for everybody. Well, except for Henry Cavill. If my wife wanted to date Henry Cavill, I would agree, just for the chance to hang out with Henry Cavill sometimes. If my friends asked me "how are you OK with your wife having an affair?", I'll tell them "it's with Henry Cavill", and they'll say " Oh, of course".
Load More Replies...
No more tiktoks please. They are a) bad b)boring c) on a dangerous intrusive app and d) were on buzzfeed last week.
Be careful when you say you're into nerds, because that will invariably attract the Nice Guy™ crowd.
I married a nerd. He designs board games, knows too much about Star Wars, 3D prints weird stuff. He gave me the best life. <3
THIS. This is why my only dating requirement is that they have to be a nerd. And I also have an unhealthy obsession with Ahsoka Tano so you best bet that I’m dragging them to the altar already
my dating requirements where that they were kind, funny and were into me. set your bar a little higher. you are worth it.
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My mum chose a nerd, and that's why we had the first personal computer in our neighbourhood and why I got a major headstart on computer literacy - plus of course, Dad introduced me to video games and science fiction movies. ^_^
I can attest to this. My husband is a huge fucken nerd n he's the single best man I have ever met in my life. I trust him with every ounce of my being n he's my best friend. I could only hang out with him for the rest of my life n never get bored. He's funny. He's kind. He's supportive. He loves me, even when I'm being a b***h. (I love him even when he's being a brat too) he's the best listener. He's literally the perfect person. However, I don't think he's a perfect person just because he's a nerd. I think he's just the perfect person for me. He was married before n he was a totally different person when I met him. His ex brought out the worst in him n he brought out the worst in her. He was an even bigger nerd back then. So I don't think that fact matters too much. I just think that ppl need to find someone who makes them happy n who they can trust n stop worrying about the stupid s**t like "being a nerd" or their aesthetic in general. Just be open minded n you'll find your person
Hmmm, I'm not sure how I feel about this. How about, find a person you love and cherish that values and respects you for who you are. Yes, you don't always have to share the same interests, but it can sometimes truly help if you have certain things in common. As someone who does enjoy some geeky and nerdy pursuits but also loves sports and the outdoors I think that I would gravitate toward someone who similar interests. There are some truly kindhearted nerds out there, but just like any group, there are going to be some toxic.
The best part is seeing the dumb jocks LOSE it "They can't change a tiiiirrrreee". I'm a geek to end all geeks. I mostly read fantasy and watch sci-fi, and absolutely LOVE analyzing data. I can also change a tire, and I can fix a leaky faucet. I'm also an IDF combat veteran, First Sergeant, Senior Medic, and have served (and seen action) in Lebanon, and chasing infiltrators down the Jordan River (yes, the original one) valley. Meanwhile, Jason over there won't get on Chicago's Pink Line because he believes that his balls will disappear, and no, he has absolutely no idea how to change a tire, or a car battery, or even the bag of his lawnmower.
Well gee, one individual woman on the internet feels nerds make the best husbands, she must be right! Everyone else, forget your own personal tastes and interests and follow this incredibly important individual's sage advice!!!
Really depends on the nerd, and if you share any interests. My "first" was a nerd, and he was kind and would have been an okay father had it come to that. But he got upset because I wasn't into D&D, etc (although I told him before I even moved in!) and focused too much on that I was my own person with my own interests, rather than that I wasn't expecting him to give up his hobbies simply because I had no interest in them (you see a lot of "I don't do it so you aren't either", I'm not like that.)
So it’s my Death Star lampshade and my Lego cars that my partner was impressed by? Why did I bother with dinner and dates?
I got me a D&D, comic book movie loving need for a hubby and he's perfect.
It depends on your interests, but nerds are the best in my opinion. Bonus points if they're in band, band kids are a mixed bag, but most of the time they're passionate about their instrument, and you get to hang out with them during football games if they like you enough to sneak you into the marching band section.
Legos, wrestling, anime (admittedly I haven't kept up much recently) and RPG gaming/gaming in general. If I find a girl as interested in these as I am, you best bet I'm marrying her.
Being a nerd doesn't remove negative qualities from a person so I don't agree nerds make perfect husbands. More likely maybe not rule someone out because they like stuff considered nerdy. Unless you adamantly hate fantasy, comics and such in which case you should be finding someone as boring as yourself.
Star Wars fandom is extremely toxic, so I completely disagree. Anyone who likes that nonsense is someone I stay far away from.
Can you expand on that please? How is starwars toxic? I'm genuinely curious not attacking
Load More Replies... Yeah... says all the women who probably treated these same guys like s**t in high school and college. Then guess what, when these girls grow up, their looks start to fade and no one wants to put up with their selfish BS anymore...Boom! Grand realization! "Nerds" grew up to be successful and have lots of $$$. What a surprise.
Every type of man can be the best man for you, it completely depends on your interests, and not running after some trend to get an accessory partner like a small dog in a handbag
I myself have a nerdy fiance, and so am I, because we both like Mecha, anime, videogames and dinosaurs. But I doubt this would be the right choice for someone who does care about any of that and wants to go hiking every weekend and work out for a hobby.
Load More Replies... Nobody is for everybody. Well, except for Henry Cavill. If my wife wanted to date Henry Cavill, I would agree, just for the chance to hang out with Henry Cavill sometimes. If my friends asked me "how are you OK with your wife having an affair?", I'll tell them "it's with Henry Cavill", and they'll say " Oh, of course".
Load More Replies... No more tiktoks please. They are a) bad b)boring c) on a dangerous intrusive app and d) were on buzzfeed last week.
Be careful when you say you're into nerds, because that will invariably attract the Nice Guy™ crowd.
I married a nerd. He designs board games, knows too much about Star Wars, 3D prints weird stuff. He gave me the best life. <3
THIS. This is why my only dating requirement is that they have to be a nerd. And I also have an unhealthy obsession with Ahsoka Tano so you best bet that I’m dragging them to the altar already
my dating requirements where that they were kind, funny and were into me. set your bar a little higher. you are worth it.
Load More Replies... My mum chose a nerd, and that's why we had the first personal computer in our neighbourhood and why I got a major headstart on computer literacy - plus of course, Dad introduced me to video games and science fiction movies. ^_^
I can attest to this. My husband is a huge fucken nerd n he's the single best man I have ever met in my life. I trust him with every ounce of my being n he's my best friend. I could only hang out with him for the rest of my life n never get bored. He's funny. He's kind. He's supportive. He loves me, even when I'm being a b***h. (I love him even when he's being a brat too) he's the best listener. He's literally the perfect person. However, I don't think he's a perfect person just because he's a nerd. I think he's just the perfect person for me. He was married before n he was a totally different person when I met him. His ex brought out the worst in him n he brought out the worst in her. He was an even bigger nerd back then. So I don't think that fact matters too much. I just think that ppl need to find someone who makes them happy n who they can trust n stop worrying about the stupid s**t like "being a nerd" or their aesthetic in general. Just be open minded n you'll find your person
Hmmm, I'm not sure how I feel about this. How about, find a person you love and cherish that values and respects you for who you are. Yes, you don't always have to share the same interests, but it can sometimes truly help if you have certain things in common. As someone who does enjoy some geeky and nerdy pursuits but also loves sports and the outdoors I think that I would gravitate toward someone who similar interests. There are some truly kindhearted nerds out there, but just like any group, there are going to be some toxic.
The best part is seeing the dumb jocks LOSE it "They can't change a tiiiirrrreee". I'm a geek to end all geeks. I mostly read fantasy and watch sci-fi, and absolutely LOVE analyzing data. I can also change a tire, and I can fix a leaky faucet. I'm also an IDF combat veteran, First Sergeant, Senior Medic, and have served (and seen action) in Lebanon, and chasing infiltrators down the Jordan River (yes, the original one) valley. Meanwhile, Jason over there won't get on Chicago's Pink Line because he believes that his balls will disappear, and no, he has absolutely no idea how to change a tire, or a car battery, or even the bag of his lawnmower.
Well gee, one individual woman on the internet feels nerds make the best husbands, she must be right! Everyone else, forget your own personal tastes and interests and follow this incredibly important individual's sage advice!!!
Really depends on the nerd, and if you share any interests. My "first" was a nerd, and he was kind and would have been an okay father had it come to that. But he got upset because I wasn't into D&D, etc (although I told him before I even moved in!) and focused too much on that I was my own person with my own interests, rather than that I wasn't expecting him to give up his hobbies simply because I had no interest in them (you see a lot of "I don't do it so you aren't either", I'm not like that.)
So it’s my Death Star lampshade and my Lego cars that my partner was impressed by? Why did I bother with dinner and dates?
I got me a D&D, comic book movie loving need for a hubby and he's perfect.
It depends on your interests, but nerds are the best in my opinion. Bonus points if they're in band, band kids are a mixed bag, but most of the time they're passionate about their instrument, and you get to hang out with them during football games if they like you enough to sneak you into the marching band section.
Legos, wrestling, anime (admittedly I haven't kept up much recently) and RPG gaming/gaming in general. If I find a girl as interested in these as I am, you best bet I'm marrying her.
Being a nerd doesn't remove negative qualities from a person so I don't agree nerds make perfect husbands. More likely maybe not rule someone out because they like stuff considered nerdy. Unless you adamantly hate fantasy, comics and such in which case you should be finding someone as boring as yourself.
Star Wars fandom is extremely toxic, so I completely disagree. Anyone who likes that nonsense is someone I stay far away from.
Can you expand on that please? How is starwars toxic? I'm genuinely curious not attacking
Load More Replies... Yeah... says all the women who probably treated these same guys like s**t in high school and college. Then guess what, when these girls grow up, their looks start to fade and no one wants to put up with their selfish BS anymore...Boom! Grand realization! "Nerds" grew up to be successful and have lots of $$$. What a surprise.
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