“Kicked Me Out At 18”: Man Who Was Treated Like A Burden Gets A Call From His Mother 32 Years Later

Family relationships aren’t always easy, and sometimes people grow apart. It might be due to neglect, conflict, or not getting along.

And if a family member passes away, it can be even more complicated. Do you attend the funeral? Is it rude if you don’t?

These are the questions that bugged a man so much that he turned to the internet for some advice.

Mistreated all throughout childhood and kicked out of the house at the age of 18, he suddenly received a call about his father’s funeral.

A man said his family neglected him when he was a child and favored his twin brother instead

Sad man sitting on floor by couch, reflecting on woman wanting to reconcile with son she kicked out 32 years ago.

Image credits: alexandrumusuc (Not the actual photo)

He was asked to leave the house as soon as he turned 18

Reddit post text about a man seeking advice on reconciling with family who kicked him out at 18 years old.

Text describing developmental and emotional issues, related to woman wanting to reconcile with son she kicked out.

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Text excerpt about a woman trying to reconcile with her son she kicked out 32 years ago and him figuring out why.

Text about a woman seeking to reconcile with her son after 32 years, as he uncovers the reason behind it.

Text excerpt from a son sharing struggles with school and comparing himself to his brother who got better grades.

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Text excerpt showing a woman’s story about being kicked out at 18 and her son’s reasons for wanting to reconcile after 32 years.

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His mother contacted him after 32 years to tell him about his father

Elderly woman with gray hair in a mustard cardigan talks on phone, showing remorse while sitting at a kitchen table.

Image credits: stockking (Not the actual photo)

Excerpt of a man reflecting on family life and home after reconciling with a woman and raising children.

Text describing a woman suddenly wanting to reconcile with her son she kicked out 32 years ago after a family call.

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Text excerpt about a woman wanting to reconcile with her son she kicked out 32 years ago, exploring her reasons.

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The man shared some more information about his situation

Text in a message discussing living in Florida and family likely staying in California, mentioning a long trip and uncertainty about its worth.

Text excerpt discussing a woman wanting to reconcile with her son after many years of estrangement and limited contact.

Text excerpt from a personal story about a woman wanting to reconcile with her son after 32 years apart.

Image credits: freepik (Not the actual photo)

A significant number of adults are currently estranged from one or more family members

Being estranged from a family member is not that uncommon, yet many people shy away from discussing it.

“It’s still taboo. It’s quite a scary topic that people don’t want to talk about. They think it’s just something that happens to other people,” says Lucy Blake, a senior lecturer in psychology at the University of the West of England.

In a recent survey, 38% of American adults said they are currently estranged from one or more family members. At least 16% of them said they no longer talk to their parent/parents.

For many, estrangement is about keeping themselves safe from physical and emotional harm.

In the same survey, 34% of people said they are estranged from a parent because of manipulative behavior. The same number of people said they cut off ties because of physical and emotional mistreatment. Another common reason cited was parents lying or betraying their kids.

“It’s usually about problematic parenting, like really harsh parenting, controlling parenting, authoritarian parenting. I don’t think anyone has to stay in a relationship in which they don’t feel safe. Often, we think of physical… but emotional (harm) is just as important to talk about,” says Blake.

While some people feel guilt and loneliness (it’s usually more pronounced around the holidays), research shows that a lot of adult children feel happier and less stressed after cutting off a parent.

In a survey, four out of five respondents reported that there had been a positive outcome from their experience of estrangement. They felt freer and more independent, and were better able to understand themselves and their relationships.

Young man in deep thought near a window, reflecting on a woman wanting to reconcile with her son after 32 years.

Image credits: kayfochtmann (Not the actual photo)

When someone who’s been out of your life for a long time passes away, it can bring up a lot of mixed feelings

Questions like whether you should go to the funeral, how to honor them, or whether to stop bad‑mouthing them can all come to mind.

There’s no single rule, and it’s okay to choose what feels right for you.

Some people go to funerals to say goodbye and find closure. Others don’t because being there would just reopen old wounds.

“When an estranged parent passes away, how you react is a very personal choice. A range of emotions can occur — some may feel a sense of relief while others suffer a complicated grief,” says New York-based licensed clinical social worker Jennifer Bohr-Cuevas.

“To process the loss of an estranged parent, recognize that grief shows up as many different emotions. Validate and release your feelings. Create a support system. Seek out professional help if the grief is overwhelming. Most importantly, give yourself time,” she adds.

One way people sometimes honor a complicated relationship with a parent is by doing something personal instead of attending a funeral.

It could be lighting a candle, writing a letter to the person who passed, or making a private ritual that feels respectful on your own terms. These acts can help you acknowledge the loss without stepping into an uncomfortable room yourself.

“In one sense, I owe my parents everything in the literal, metaphysical and existential sense. But clearly, if I have survived some awful parental (harm), then presumably that means I have no further duty,” says philosopher Christopher Cowley from University College Dublin.

He says an ideal relationship between parent and adult child would resemble a friendship.

Young man sitting by window, looking thoughtful and sad, reflecting on reconciling with mother after 32 years apart.

Image credits: New Africa (Not the actual photo)

Several people tried to help the man with different pieces of advice

Comment discussing a woman suddenly wanting to reconcile with her son after 32 years, focusing on narcissistic motives.

Text post discussing emotional neglect by a woman who suddenly wants to reconcile with her son after 32 years.

Reddit comment advising to communicate effects of a difficult upbringing and recognizing strength in overcoming family challenges.

Comment discussing a woman suddenly wanting to reconcile with son she kicked out 32 years ago and his response.

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Screenshot of a Reddit comment about a woman wanting to reconcile with her son after 32 years and the reasons why.

Reddit comment warning about childhood trauma and reconciling with a mother after 32 years estranged.

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Comment discussing a woman wanting to reconcile with son she kicked out 32 years ago and the reasons behind it.

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Comment from Glassgrl1021 discussing a woman wanting to reconcile with son she kicked out, questioning her sincerity.

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Woman wanting to reconcile with son after 32 years, as he uncovers the reason behind her decision.

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The man thanked people for sharing their opinions

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Thank you message expressing gratitude for comments, shares, and feedback on a reconciliation and family story.

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Woman reaching out to reconcile with son after 32 years, son discovering the reason behind her change.

He said he called his brother and found out the real reason his mom tried to get in touch

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Woman trying to reconcile with son she kicked out years ago, son appears thoughtful and emotional.

Image credits: namii9 (Not the actual photo)

Text excerpt showing a son explaining why he refuses to reconcile with the woman who kicked him out years ago.

Text showing a son explaining why he is reluctant to reconcile with his toxic mother 32 years after being kicked out.

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Text excerpt showing a son explaining why he refuses to reconcile with his mother after being kicked out 32 years ago.

Text on a white background reading: As some of you suggested, I'm gonna have a small goodbye for my dad on my own time.

Text expressing gratitude from a man to internet strangers for their kindness and care in a heartfelt message.

Image credits: Anonymous

See how people reacted to the whole story

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a narcissistic mother favoring one child over the other after kicking out her son.

Screenshot of a forum comment discussing a woman wanting to reconcile with her son she kicked out 32 years ago.

Comment discussing regret over lack of contact between mother and son after years of estrangement and reconciliation attempts.

Text from Reddit post discussing a woman wanting to reconcile with son she kicked out 32 years ago and reasons behind it.

Woman and adult son reconnecting emotionally after 32 years, seeking reconciliation and understanding past conflicts.

Middle-aged woman and adult son in a tense conversation, hinting at reconciliation after being estranged for decades.

Comment text on a white background discussing a son figuring out why his mother wants to reconcile after 32 years.

Reddit comment about a woman suddenly wanting to reconcile with son she kicked out 32 years ago and his reaction.

Comment on a forum discussing a woman wanting to reconcile with son she kicked out 32 years ago, exploring her motives.

Reddit comment discussing a narcissist parent trying to reconcile with son she kicked out 32 years ago.

Reddit comment about being kicked out at 18, reflecting on loyalty and its emotional impact in family reconciliation.

Comment about woman wanting to reconcile with son she kicked out, reflecting on family perspective and history.

Comment text on social media relating to a woman wanting to reconcile with her son after 32 years apart.

Woman wants to reconcile with son she kicked out decades ago, son discovers the reason behind her sudden change.

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