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“This Does Not Happen To Men”: 50 Of The Most Downplayed Medical Conditions And Procedures
There are things we cannot fully comprehend unless we’ve been there, firsthand. It’s why many of us develop misconceptions about things, in this case, medical conditions and procedures.
A recent Reddit thread featured responses from people who are clearing up misguided notions about the illnesses and operations they’ve dealt with and gone through. Some spoke about what it really is like to go through childbirth, while others described the symptoms of the physical and mental conditions they deal with every day.
You may learn something new as you scroll through. Feel free to share your insights, as well.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Anything being put through the cervix / into the uterus - IUD insertion, endometrial biopsy, colposcopy. “Just take an ibuprofen before your appointment and you’ll be fine!”
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#2
The doc told me when they boiled the lining of my uterus off because I had a menoraga that there are no pain receptors inside your uterus.
All the pain you have from childbirth comes from your cervix. When I was 20, I had a colcoscopy that hurt a lot and as a further indignity made me carry it to the lab in a cup on the other side of the hospital. The doctor also ignored me when I told him I was in a lot of pain during my 1st C-section, they were doing on me and they said that was just pressure. Then I told him I could feel the blood running down my legs and they said oh well maybe you can feel something. This does not happen to men. My husband got prescribed more pain meds for a hemorrhoid than I did for one of c sections.
#5
Migraines and cluster headaches. I used to get Migraines that wouldn't stop until I puked just from my head hurting so bad. I got it under control thank goodness but I have a lot of sympathy for people who tell me they have a headache.
#6
Endometrosis and uterine fibroids - they are debilitating for many women but because they won't end you a lot of people are expected just to cope. It may affect up to 20% of women to varying degrees and the pain is often played down as "normal". If your period or ovulation time is causing you to cramp, bleed heavily, pass out or vomit see a doctor and get a referral to a gynacologist and keep pushing. Being out of commision for 2-5 days a month is not normal.
#8
I had an IUD inserted a few weeks after my daughter was born. Over the course of the next four months I repeatedly went back to the doctor because it *hurt*. She kept telling me it can’t hurt. The fifth time I saw a different doctor. The IUD had implanted and of course needed to be removed.
When I think about it now I’m still confused about my behavior. It hurt, it hurt from the moment it went in, I knew it hurt, but I walked away from four separate appointments trying to convince myself it didn’t because someone said it didn’t.
#9
Nerve Pain. There is no relief. No medication. Just have to deal with it. Had to leave a business meeting to puke from the pain. It has been years since the injury and it's under control but hasn't gone away. Nerves take forever to heal. I didn't understand what chronic pain was until I experienced it.
#10
Rheumatoid "arthritis" (I prefer the term rheumatoid disease). It's not just aching joints when it rains. It's an autoimmune disease that attacks the entire body. The pain can be literally blinding! I've spent days trapped in a bed or chair where it was excruciatingly painful to even press a button on a remote. Many times I couldn't catch my breath, tears soaking my tingling face, trying unsuccessfully to will the worst of the pain away. The pain, during a flare is all-consuming. There is nothing to do but ride it out (and try not to disturb others with your screaming). There's no cure. Unlike childbirth there is no "reward" after the pain. There's just the expectation that you'll continue on with life and deal with it [preferably silently].
The downplaying of rheumatoid disease, like many of the procedures and conditions mentioned, is due to sexism and misogyny.
#11
Sciatica. Recovering from a cesarean was a breeze in comparison. I wouldn’t wish that level of pain on even my worst enemy.
#12
Childbirth. I don’t care how often it’s mentioned, it’s worse than that. And the after effects can last forever.
#13
Throwing out your lower back. People laugh about it likes it nothing but it seriously hurts like hell.
#14
Hidradenitis suppurativa also known as “acne inversa”.
People often mistake it for harmless acne, that’s why i don’t really like the term “acne inversa”. It’s actually incredibly painful and big absecess, that can turn into a sepsis in very bad cases. There is no cure and your skin basically gets ruined and is full of scars and in extreme cases, open wounds and holes. There’s also not much you can do to prevent it and everything that doctors suggest, could help, isn’t even guaranteed, because we don’t know much about it yet.
On top, people often aren’t taken serious, because they say that the reason they have it, is their overweight, which is confirmed not to be the cause.
You lose your whole quality of life, because you can almost eat nothing, as it triggers your HS even more.
You can not wear cool clothing, because it causes the flares to hurt like hell.
Oh, and you will also ruin it and also bed sheets and other stuff you sit or lay on, when your flares leak and bleed.
You are judged because people don‘t really believe you that it’s THAT bad or don’t take it serious. This is basically why it‘s so unknown. Scientists just don‘t bother to do researches, that‘s what I heard.
You smell, no matter how much you shower.
You develop mental illnesses.
You have just a higher risk of developping diabetes, if I‘m correct.
You are constantly tired and hot, because your whole body is full of inflamations.
Sometimes it’s so painful that you can’t even move some days, because every step just hurts and nothing truly helps to relieve the pain except simply not moving. It’s hell. Especially as an young girl, who has her whole life ahead of her. You are basically never beautiful.
Edit: So, this really blew up and I‘m very happy about the helpful answers or the people who wrote that I helped them find out their disease or that someone finally mentioned it.
I wanted to give you the hint, that there‘s a sub reddit, where you can find more people with HS: r/Hidradenitis.
#15
Fibromyalgia, especially when combined with *any* spinal issues, arthritis, and chronic fatigue. It *can be* incredibly painful and the severity of it isn't well recognised or taken seriously by the medical community.
Most days, I struggle to get out of bed, my thinking is impaired (foggy), and there are days when I cannot even lift my leg high enough to get it over the d**n tub to get into it to take a shower. I think one of the worst things about this condition is that it can be so *individualised*. There isn't a cookie-cutter solution to it, and there sure isn't enough research done on it.
I wouldn't wish this on *anyone*.
#16
I have stage 4 cancer. Cancer is more painful than I ever could have imagined.
Pancreatitis is also extremely unbearably painful.
Bowel obstructions are very painful too.
#17
Gout. I feel that it's commonly downplayed as a disease, just kind of a part of life for many thing. The standard management and treatment of it also seems very low level. My partner has it, and his flare ups used to be horrifying. The swelling, the pain, it was awful. He's not a complainer, but I remember one time his ankle was the size of a grapefruit, even cloth brushing it was excruciating. He mentioned once that amputation seemed like a viable option, except for the fact that the gout would just move elsewhere. People blame it on the person too - clearly they're eating too much rich food or drinking too much. My partner's was actually triggered by dehydration most of the time, but the more it happens the easier it is to trigger because your uric acid levels stay high.
Anyway, he went with an aggressive treatment that reduces your uric acid levels and dissolves the crystals it forms in your body. (Another fun thing gout does! Tophi are formations of uric acid crystals that can essentially lock up your joints, and can actually open wounds in your skin. My partner had them on his feet, basically rocks IN HIS FEET.) As the crystals dissolve, they trigger an immune response that comes across as a really bad gout attack but can last way longer. His treatment took the better part of a year, and at one point he was in so much pain he couldn't dress himself. We didn't know anyone who had been through the treatment and it was hard to trust that it would be successful, but I'm so glad he persevered. He now takes regular medication and his gout is so under control that he hasn't had an attack in five years. He can even indulge occasionally in foods he used to avoid like the plague, things like seafood and red meats! We're so glad with where he is, but it was a really rough path to get here.
#18
Any wear and tear injury experienced by a middle aged woman that’s not related to sports. It boggles my mind how doctors roll out the red carpet for my colleagues that have sports injuries but tear the same tendon from overworking it scrubbing floors and it’s just “wait and see” and long wait times for imaging and nothing for pain.
#19
C-section. It’s painful, high susceptibility to infections, recovery while being a new mom, it’s not easy. It’s downplayed even making you think that it’s normal. It’s major surgery and really requires rest during the recovery. Which is really challenging when you’re also bonding with a new baby.
hannahrlindsay:
C-Section. We talk about it so casually, but I felt them pulling and tugging and yanking at my body as they got my baby out and then I hurt after for MONTHS. I’m ashamed I didn’t bow to every woman who mentioned having one before I had my own. Truly a hellish experience.
#20
Pleurisy and/or broken rib. Someone is st**bing you every time you breathe. Guess what you have to do every 3-5 seconds?
#21
PCOS. People can't comprehend that someone can be overweight because their body does not process food correctly. It HAS to be my fault, because I'm fat and a woman. I've lost 15lbs in 3 months on a medication and my doctor immediately wanted to take me off it because "obviously diet and exercise are working." I'd changed nothing in my routine but the medication (bc I eat fine & exercise the recommended amount).
If I go off the medication I'll experience debilitating hunger and constant nausea and lightheadedness if I don't overeat. Suddenly I experience hunger like a normal person and not someone with f*****g Prader-Willi.
But it's my fault, I should just have to suffer and be starving all the time bc I'm fat and that's my fault.
Thankfully I found a less s****y doctor but that other woman should not practice medicine. She does not understand the basic concepts of the disease she runs a specialty clinic for.
This isn't even going into how society treats you as an overweight woman. The dysmorphia, the guilt.
#22
Gallbladder attack was worse than labor or unmedicated childbirth. Never have I vomited from pain before. I would not wish that on my worst enemy.
#23
Torsion of the ovary, testicle, or fallopian tube. Fallopian tube torsion was the condition that taught me that pain can be so bad you vomit.
#24
Sickle cell anemia. A friend of mine has it and is pretty much guaranteed to be hospitalized every month. Hearing her cry on the phone and saying that morphine isn't working and that the staff wouldn't give a dilaudid shot because they thought she was d**g seeking is heartbreaking.
#25
Trigeminal Neuralgia. I’ve had gall bladder issues and unmedicated childbirth. This is so horrific when I’m having a flare I don’t even know how I function at all. Feels like my face/ear/head are all being s**bbed and lit on fire at the same time.
#26
Interstitial cystitis - most people don't know this is a thing and the Cleveland clinic estimates up to 12M people have it in the U.S., it impacts women more.
Imagine if you felt like you were having a UTI...pain, urgency, the whole thing, except nothing shows up in cultures, you have to figure out what's going on so a s**t ton of trial and error. Is it allergies/diet? Autoimmune? Is my bladder damaged from an actual UTI previously? Medication?
Very few meds are on the market to treat it, and some treatments are painful like bladder instillations and hydro distension.
People will go years (myself included in that) with minimal to no answers while dealing with pain and discomfort. Some folks even go on disability because they can't leave their house because every time they need to pee it's a painful ordeal.
#27
Abscessed tooth. Worse than childbirth, worse than migraines. I spent my life with migraines and horrible cramps. I've had 2 abscessed teeth and that pain was worse than anything. The pain shoots up your head and the nerve just THROBS.
#29
Arthritis. It's just an old people disease right? As if that should even matter.
I'm in my early 30s and I was diagnosed with psoriatic arthritis 4 years ago. Thankfully during an appointment with my derm they asked me if I experience joint pain. I told them yes. They asked me where and I told them everywhere. Turns out, that's not normal for a 28 year old but I had always just thought it was because I was fat because that's what I had been told.
Now I'm on medication that treats the arthritis (and a few other conditions I have) and my life is so much better. I'm not in pain all the time. I can actually go out and live my life or even do just basic things like cleaning my house. All of which were very difficult or d**n near impossible before the meds.
Arthritis can be a very debilitating condition but most people think that only older folks can get it or the pain is just not that bad but it has the potential to steal your life from you.
#30
Any and all injuries caused by childbirth - as if the labor can’t ruin your body forever, childbirth injuries are rarely spoken of, nor is there anywhere near enough research and help available. We’re just expected to get up and function normally immediately, not taking into account the injuries and pain we have after birthing (and building too for that matter!) a whole human being. The recovery can be way worse, and certainly lasts longer, than the birthing process. I pity any and all living in a country with less than a year paid maternity leave, that should be the minimum everywhere.
#31
MD here. Nasogastric (NG) tube, which goes through your nostril, down your esophagus into your stomach, is super painful and uncomfortable. I lost a bet in med school and had to insert one in myself...it was absolute hell.
#32
Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, I have it and the pain hasn't been able to be controlled in any way so far.
My joints dislocate or subluxate, I get terrible nerve pain , horrific GI pain during a fair and so much more.
Also period pain and vaginal ultrasound.
NorraVavare:
Ehlers Danlos Syndrome. We experience so much pain we can function at levels that sound impossible.
I grew up thinking it was normal to dislocate my knees by walking. Sure it hurts to pop it back in, but no one ever noticed it was happening. If I said something was hard or hurt, I got told it was normal and to suck it up. I found out at 32 my knees should have never done that. Or my thumbs, toes, and shoulder. Oh yeah and its not supposed to hurt your stomach to eat. Choking on water 5 times a day or asperating rice regularly isn't normal either.
I was in counseling with a LCSW when I was about 38 and she figured out I was in pain all the time. I am ALWAYS in pain so I didnt know what I was feeling wasnt fatigue. She badgered me to tell my PCP and for the first time ever I had a really good one. No suggestions to see a psychiatrist, just asked if I was willing to go for lots of testing.
I told my PT once I was at a 7 on the pain scale, so I couldn't do a full day. Later on, we were talking about how hard it is to use. I told her I quantify my # by telling nurses, "Respatory failure being a 10 and a freshly broken leg an 8, my pain level is at x" She looked at me weird and asked me how I was walking around let alone doing therapy.
#33
Hysterosalpingogram (commonly called HSG) which checks if the fallopian tubes have any blocks that could be preventing pregnancy. It was excruciatingly painful and I was told it would be something I just needed to “breathe through”. I literally couldn’t even take a breath because I was screaming/groaning/crying. I sobbed the rest of the day.
#34
Reconstructive jaw surgery. I'm three years post-op. They had to disconnect my jaw from my spine and skull, like I was a human IKEA project, and then had to rebuild and replace my entire jaw and half my face using custom titanium prosthetic hardware. Surgeons wire your mouth/jaw shut for the first three months or so, and you're forced to "eat" through a special syringe. And by "eat" I mean consume...... liquids only...... for THREE FREAKING MONTHS. I love chocolate pudding and smoothies just as much as the next person, but by day 4-5 of ONLY consuming pudding, broth, smoothies, or apple sauce, the desire to smash cups of pudding against the wall intensifies ***very*** strongly.
Oh, and I also had to endure it during the height of the pandemic, and I'm also immunocompromised due to an autoimmune condition. The universe decided to throw COVID-19 in the mix too, but because of my jaw surgery, I wasn't allowed to blow my nose. I was basically a leaking, human faucet for like three months.
#35
CPR. It is not what it looks like on TV. If you do NOT break ribs you are NOT doing it hard enough to beat the person’s heart for them. At that point we are not stopping your 93 year old Full Code grandma from passing, we are bringing her back to life just for her to feel all the pain of her broken, battered body until her body passes away a second time.
#36
Trigeminal Neuralgia aka S*****e Disease. Intense nerve pain in head, face, and neck. Sleeping is difficult as any pressure causes flare ups. Treatment includes anti-seizure and depression medications. Opioids tend to provide no relief. Worst 6 months of my life.
#37
People laugh about getting older and having a stiff back but acute back issues are fully debilitating and hurt with every movement. I’d legitimately rather be st**bed than herniate another disc.
#38
Amniocentesis so traumatic and scary. You can not move at all and it’s painful and your baby is moving and the needle is as long as my arm. Us women are amazing.
#41
Uveitis - when your eyeball is so inflamed, it throbs. It’s impossible to function and all you think about. It’s an indescribable pain - and I’ve had 2 difficult births and IUD insertions without meds so I’m no stranger to pain.
#42
I don’t think people understand just how bad PTSD can be. It’s caused by a nearly infinite combination of factors and strengths, has no cure, and isn’t something that can be treated without significant clinical intervention.
#43
I heard off my husbands friend having scar tissue in his urethra that made a blockage so he couldn’t pee. The solution was to scrape the scar tissue off physically, poking some kind of instrument inside his urethra… no pain meds! I mean, I have given birth and endured most the contractions without pain meds but I’d say thats nothing compared to what this guy went through! .
#44
Costochondritis will make you feel like your ribcage is going to snap in two if you breathe too deeply. Especially fun if the affected area is close to your heart!
#45
Blood clots. I got a massive DVT in my leg when I was pregnant and it was the worst pain I felt in my life from my groin down. I’m pretty tough in general, but I was crying anytime I tried to move it and couldn’t even walk. the dr acted like I was a d**g seeker when I tried to get something for pain with my leg painful, purple, and as the doctor quoted “freakishly swollen.”
#49
Bone marrow aspirate. Honestly it's like having someone drive a corkscrew into your spine.
The bit they don't tell you is that it doesn't work everytime so sometimes they do it 2 or 3 times to get a good sample.
#50
Feeding tube insertions. Most docs won’t prescribe pain meds unless you advocate for it. It’s excruciating. I’ve had it done twice and out of all the surgeries and procedures I’ve had it’s by far the most painful.
#51
Something rarely mentioned in these threads —
and it isn’t by any means the most painful or anything but until you’ve had to endure it you won’t know how bad it can be — is planter fasciitis. I got it one summer because I was dumb and wore nothing but my flip flops and it f*****g hurt to walk or stand for months until the exercises and stretches finally helped.
#52
Colposcopy. Basically taking a punch sample from the cervix for biopsy without any pain relief.
#53
Adult tonsillectomy (Tonsil removal).
It's trivial for kids. But for adults, it's 14 days of medieval t*****e. .
#54
A pneumoencephalograph. They drain the cerebrospinal fluid from your skull and replace it with compressed air for an X-ray. It was one of the most painful medical procedures there was. My sister had one. They were discontinued in the 70's.
#55
I frequently get Rhyzotomy/Rhyzolysis/Pulsed Radio Frequency procedures on the nerves in my spine. I am always unconscious for it. Except. Except last time they decided "light sedation" would be fine. I WAS AWAKE WHILE THE RADIATION WENT IN MY SPINE. I was NOT Okay after that.
And I have fibromyalgia, as well as spine pain from bulging discs, arthritis, degenerative discs, etc.
I'm now contemplating my next treatment. And I will be unconscious or they will not be touching me.
#57
I've had a lot of procedures and ER visits and also had two kids, but the one thing I would never want to go through again is having a little bubble removed from my eyeball. I had this weird bubble on my eye. It was kind of clear and gelatinous. I went to the eye doctor and who took a look at it and casually says "yes, we're going to have to do a little surgery on that." A few days later I showed up at the office for my "little surgery. "
It was the most horrific thing I've ever been through. They numbed my eyeball and then propped it open with a little device that wouldn't let me close it. Then the doctor leaned over me and, with a scalpel, started scraping away at my eyeball. I was wide awake through the whole thing, and every fiber of my being wanted to close my eye. I was seriously traumatized.
#58
Ear infections. I’ve had a c-section but the worst pain I’ve ever felt in my life was a really bad ear infection I got as a kid.
#63
Not sure if this counts but Periods and the pain that comes with them people who don't have V or who do and for what ever reason dont have them can never truly understand how paimfull they are and yout expeted to still do everything you normly do while on it and cramping.
#64
Mammogram. The reason so many women skip their mammograms is because they are practically a medieval t*****e device. There has got to be a better way.
#66
Total knee replacement. I am a hypersensitive person (which really sucks). I could not get up from my recliner or the toilet without my partner putting a therapy belt around me and hauling me up. I would have to walk the length of the house to get back to my recliner from the bathroom and every step was t*****e. I’d be sobbing and saying, “I can’t do this. I can’t do this.” I thought sometimes I’d pass out from the pain. And that was with taking every pain pill (opioids) right on schedule. No one warned me it would be that bad—and I resented that. For the second TKR at least I knew, though knowing didn’t make the pain any less.
#68
Chickenpox. Wiped out my immune system and I ended up with pneumonia that took three different antibiotics to cure. Spent six weeks sick, including all of Christmas break. At risk for shingles for the rest of my life. The vaccine came out like two years later. People having “chickenpox parties” can eat a bag of d***s.
#69
Bartholin gland cyst drainage. I’ve had a baby since then and the cyst was exponentially worse.
#70
Waking up after a Tibial nail was put in my broken leg was really bad. I could feel that the inside of my bone had been reamed out, and the morphine did nothing.
#71
I don’t know if it’s so much physical pain, but I’ll say restless leg syndrome. As a nurse I never learnt anything about it at university. I figured it was just people having to wiggle their legs a bit while drifting off to sleep. But over the years I’ve met people with severe, treatment resistant RLS and it seems like t*****e. People running on a treadmill all night until sunrise. People that just lie on their back cycling their legs round and round vigorously for hours and hours. People that haven’t been able to stop pacing back and forth all night. Then they have to go about their day and try to function like everyone else even though their literally ran a marathon overnight.
I had one patient who, by the time she came to us, hadn’t slept for almost 60 hrs.
I had no idea it could be so debilitating.
#73
Not sure if it really counts as a "medical condition," but it's actually insane how painful trapped gas can be. It seems like an enormous design flaw in the human body that some air in the wrong spot can be so excruciating.
Dependent_Top_4425:
Gas pain. I have an egg intolerance and before I knew that, I was in SO much pain I would be doubled over on the couch thinking that I was going to end up on that show "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant". Thankfully, I ought to just be on a show called "I Didn't Know I Couldn't Eat Eggs".
#74
Ever have your retinas laser welded back onto the rear of your eyeballs? I have and yikes!!
#76
Brain surgery. Before having spinal fusion a few months ago, I googled “most painful surgeries” to see where it fell. It was always #1 or 2, behind joint replacement. Brain surgery never made any of the lists. Brain surgery remains the most excruciating thing I’ve ever endured. Every time I woke up from the morphine, I would scream until the morphine hit again. 2nd most painful was a tonsillectomy. Unless you gargle lidocaine, no pain meds work on the throat. Fusion was tied for 3rd with labor.
What do you think ?
Gingersnap In Iowa 6 months ago
I never smoked weed in my life until my fibromyalgia pain got so bad I couldn't take it anymore. 😞
Gingersnap In Iowa 6 months ago
The weed doesn't always help with the pain.
Load More Replies... Gingersnap In Iowa 6 months ago
I never smoked weed in my life until my fibromyalgia pain got so bad I couldn't take it anymore. 😞
Gingersnap In Iowa 6 months ago
The weed doesn't always help with the pain.
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