“You Won’t Make My Nieces Feel Unsafe”: Aunt Kicks Out Guest For Policing Girls’ Outfits
Sometimes, when it comes to talking to children about sensitive issues, people who aren’t their parents or guardians step out of line by bringing it up. And it’s even worse when they do it poorly, for example, by yelling.
Today’s story is exactly about that. A woman’s guest yelled at her pre-teen nieces to cover up, so they wouldn’t tempt men. To put it briefly – that was not the right thing to say or way to bring it up.
More info: Reddit
Sometimes, even people who you think might become your friends step so far out of line that you must kick them out immediately
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
A guest ruined the mood at a gathering when she started yelling at pre-teen girls to cover up and not tempt the men with their cheerleading uniforms
Image credits: Ron Lach (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Liza Summer (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/Interesting_Cake9188
This woman ended up kicking the guest out of her home and explaining to the girls why this situation even happened
The OP was visited by her friend and her fiancé, who have twin girls, as well as another friend who tagged along. There were also 6 of the hostess’ nieces and 1 nephew over. The ages of the kids she was watching ranged from 9 months to 12 years.
While the guests were over, the OP’s oldest three nieces had just come back from their cheerleading practice and so they were wearing their uniforms. Everyone was having a great time, but suddenly, the woman who the friends had brought yelled at the oldest niece that she should change her clothes. And by that, she meant that the girls should cover up because there were men in the house, so girls shouldn’t tempt them. The men she was referring to were two boys and the father of the friend’s twins.
The OP firmly responded that she shouldn’t yell at her nieces and their clothing is fine. She added that the woman should leave her house because no one should make her nieces feel unsafe there. The woman called her sister and left the gathering.
After that, the OP had to sit all her nieces down and explain the situation. She told them that they didn’t need to cover up, as well as what it meant when the woman said that girls might tempt men. She also explained to them that her house is always safe for them, and if someone is making them uncomfortable in any way, they can tell her.
Image credits: Meadow Marie (not the actual photo)
What we can say is that the guest handled the situation poorly. Even if she had any good intentions, she still took part in a very big societal problem. We’re talking about the sexualization of young girls.
The sexualization of young girls occurs when anyone implies that a girl’s value comes from her sexualized appearance. Girls are often pressured to be more sexually attractive, to wear tighter clothing, to act more feminine, and so on. And quite often it might even be done by friends, family members, or acquaintances. And they might do it without even realizing it. Explaining to girls that they should act differently than boys in these kinds of circumstances also adds to the problem.
Girls experiencing sexualization or objectification can heavily mess up their mental health. It can even lead them to such problems as low self-esteem, eating disorders, depression, anxiety, and even PTSD.
And so, circling back to the story with this information, the woman certainly crossed a line. Yelling at pre-teen girls to cover up might actually harm her girls’ mental well-being. Especially, when, as the OP updated, they weren’t even aware why men would objectify them beforehand.
And apparently, Reddit commentators had the same opinion. They were disgusted with the way the guest handled the situation. Some even said that the OP was too gentle for the overbearing woman. And not only that, a lot of them also added that they are happy that the nieces have someone in their life who will stand up for them.
“Auntie OP rocks” – folks online support the OP and are beyond happy that the nieces have such a cool aunt in their lives
Even Jesus told his dudes to rip out their eyeballs if they can't look at girls without perving
So did Mohammed. Actually I think he said that the men must look away. The Talmud also insists it's the men's fault if they look lustfully. Strangely enough, all of the Abrahamic Three generally place the fault on the woman even when their own books say otherwise.
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Friend of a friend is a guest who yelled at children in OP’s care, in OP’s home. Regardless of what the issue was, you don’t yell, correct, punish or anything of the sort the children that aren’t in your care. You talk to the carer/parent first. OP handled it well.
So you go into a stranger's home and yell at girls for tempting grown dudes? Somebody needs etiquette lessons.
As well as a lesson in how boys' or men's lust is a not girls' or women's responsibility.
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If men can't control themselves not to perv on UNDERAGE GIRLS then that's 100% a problem with the men, not the girls.
Lady sounded insecure over her own man maybe seeing something she don't have. I understand when kids are underclothed an might need a little more coverage. I have a niece in law that when she was like 8 or so would throw herself onto people to sit on them. She did this once to me in a dress w tights on an I felt uncomfortable because I one babysat little kids a one of them lied to a parent that I told them to get naked. I was shocked. I wasn't believed that I didn't say that. And from then on I'm very off limits around kids as I don't want that to happen again. So yeah she could have not screamed at the kids to cover up but spoke to the adult in the room on the side about maybe they need a little more clothing on. And the host could have said what she did a little easier without making the kids inquire. But good for her taking the time to show kids they don't need to be covered for safety when boys don't need to but girls have to/should. Sorry I rambled.
If someone makes this kind of comments about my daugthers in front of my sister, oh lord, you better trust things will go WWE real fast. Your reaction has been 100% adecuate OP
François comes off the top turnbuckle with The People's Elbow!
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It's a shame about the punctuation - from the "we're in shorts" it looked like she was too, but reading it, it should be "were in shorts". General point though is that it is no-one's place to impose their views on anyone but their own children (up to a point), especially religious or political views. By all means expression your opinion - in this situation, it should have been said quietly to the OP, not to the girls.
I always have trouble understanding the nuances and the people involved when a story is so poorly written.
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The most horrible thing the guest did was suggest that the girls should be afraid of their relatives perving on them.
I couldn't finish reading this... hard time understanding. And its "tempt", not temp
Angela Jackson - And we have yet another person who is so perfect they feel they can point out other's mistakes. I'm so sorry you had to come here and be confused. It's amazing how many other people were able to get what the post was saying. Maybe with your simple mind, you should have someone read it to you and explain what it's about~!
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It is well past time we stop telling girls, or grown women, what to wear, because men cannot, or will not take control and be responsible for their thoughts I have a neice, 18, stunning, and like to dress up, and yes, show some skin. She is not naked, or showing anything inappropriate, but some members of her family tell her to cover up. Nothing wrong with what she's is wearing, and she knows she will not have her body look as stunning as it does forever, she is comfortable...no one should be policing her dress code. Men, GROW UP
Even Jesus told his dudes to rip out their eyeballs if they can't look at girls without perving
So did Mohammed. Actually I think he said that the men must look away. The Talmud also insists it's the men's fault if they look lustfully. Strangely enough, all of the Abrahamic Three generally place the fault on the woman even when their own books say otherwise.
Load More Replies... Friend of a friend is a guest who yelled at children in OP’s care, in OP’s home. Regardless of what the issue was, you don’t yell, correct, punish or anything of the sort the children that aren’t in your care. You talk to the carer/parent first. OP handled it well.
So you go into a stranger's home and yell at girls for tempting grown dudes? Somebody needs etiquette lessons.
As well as a lesson in how boys' or men's lust is a not girls' or women's responsibility.
Load More Replies... If men can't control themselves not to perv on UNDERAGE GIRLS then that's 100% a problem with the men, not the girls.
Lady sounded insecure over her own man maybe seeing something she don't have. I understand when kids are underclothed an might need a little more coverage. I have a niece in law that when she was like 8 or so would throw herself onto people to sit on them. She did this once to me in a dress w tights on an I felt uncomfortable because I one babysat little kids a one of them lied to a parent that I told them to get naked. I was shocked. I wasn't believed that I didn't say that. And from then on I'm very off limits around kids as I don't want that to happen again. So yeah she could have not screamed at the kids to cover up but spoke to the adult in the room on the side about maybe they need a little more clothing on. And the host could have said what she did a little easier without making the kids inquire. But good for her taking the time to show kids they don't need to be covered for safety when boys don't need to but girls have to/should. Sorry I rambled.
If someone makes this kind of comments about my daugthers in front of my sister, oh lord, you better trust things will go WWE real fast. Your reaction has been 100% adecuate OP
François comes off the top turnbuckle with The People's Elbow!
Load More Replies... It's a shame about the punctuation - from the "we're in shorts" it looked like she was too, but reading it, it should be "were in shorts". General point though is that it is no-one's place to impose their views on anyone but their own children (up to a point), especially religious or political views. By all means expression your opinion - in this situation, it should have been said quietly to the OP, not to the girls.
I always have trouble understanding the nuances and the people involved when a story is so poorly written.
Load More Replies... The most horrible thing the guest did was suggest that the girls should be afraid of their relatives perving on them.
I couldn't finish reading this... hard time understanding. And its "tempt", not temp
Angela Jackson - And we have yet another person who is so perfect they feel they can point out other's mistakes. I'm so sorry you had to come here and be confused. It's amazing how many other people were able to get what the post was saying. Maybe with your simple mind, you should have someone read it to you and explain what it's about~!
Load More Replies... It is well past time we stop telling girls, or grown women, what to wear, because men cannot, or will not take control and be responsible for their thoughts I have a neice, 18, stunning, and like to dress up, and yes, show some skin. She is not naked, or showing anything inappropriate, but some members of her family tell her to cover up. Nothing wrong with what she's is wearing, and she knows she will not have her body look as stunning as it does forever, she is comfortable...no one should be policing her dress code. Men, GROW UP
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