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Sexism can manifest itself in ways that are serious or minor, outrageously offensive or so normalized that you don't even recognize it. But as countless women around the world can tell you, it's there.
In an attempt to show the internet just how imbalanced gender relations can be, the Facebook page "Humans of Patriarchy" is sharing memes, testimonies, and all sorts of other content that exposes the ugly side of today's society. And it appears to be working — as of this publication, the online project has over 415K followers.
Continue scrolling to check out some of its most popular posts.
More info: Facebook
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Beeps 4 years ago
It’s from his book “The macho paradox” which is a really good and important read.
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Dave 4 years ago
F**k, I never actually noticed this angle of the situation and it makes so much sense and I like the shift in focus towards the asshole males who should be shot.
Caro Caro 4 years ago
Haaahaha Dave. Yes, F**k is appropriate in this case. :D
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Stephen Smith 4 years ago
You don't hear about violence against men much do you? Well I'm a lot happier now I've divorced her :)
Kathryn Baylis 4 years ago
The hell with being passive and not loudly stating who is responsible. Change it to “Violence Perpetrated by Men Against Women”. And for those of you “Not All Men” types, you can switch the genders. Hell, change it to the same gender if you like. Won’t change the statistics that show men are the biggest perpetrators of violence, whether against women or other men, BY FAR.
Marco Conti 4 years ago
I am glad I wasn't the only one noticing this. Especially in the pregnancy department. Everybody clutching their pearls because young girls get pregnant, like there is a mad fertility doctor going around impregnating teenagers. How about, at the very least, blaming the boys for being unable to keep it in their pants. That is, if you think contraception or sex-ed "gives them ideas". It appears to me that they need no extra motivation at all.
Lianne 4 years ago
It's a good statement but you can't know for sure how many boys/men, they can rape, harass an impregnate more than one girl/woman.
Grumble O'Pug 4 years ago
Yet again, you are making the "boogeyman" one guy who is flying across the world like santa claus harassing, raping, and generally practicing misogyny all by his lonesome. This is a wholesale handwashing of the problem because "I don't know someone who would do that". Chances are you do, and he did.
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Missy Moo Moo 4 years ago
Yeh because according to these men, they didn't do it, it never happened and it wasn't them. It's time to believe women
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#2
Ozacoter 4 years ago
Also about how sad it is that society has convinced many people that romance is the only kind of love that is important. You barely see in media people showing family or friendly love to each other.
El muerto 4 years ago
not so long ago we use talk about the friend zone as something that could happen to both genders, and it wasn't necessarily a bad thing. more like description on how a relationship developed...on the hand, there is one fact that bothers me...just because a male might develop and interest in you romantically, doesn't mean that, that was his goal all along or they manipulated you for sex. it could also mean that that person might have developed those feelings along the way, and they could be perfectly genuin feelings...yet of course no one owns you sex, romance or friendship, and if the other party said no, you should accept that for what it is, and move on. being nice to somebody doesn't mean they own something to you
Joshua Rigrod 4 years ago
It saddens me that women are still seen as objects as a sexual conquest, or a notch on the headboard. There's nothing wrong with being friends and only friends, and understanding that is the way it is decided. And there's nothing wrong with going Beyond friendship. But you really have to learn to listen to one another and take yes and no, when it is given, and accepted for why it was.
Marco Conti 4 years ago
This. This is tragic and so very true. All these "friend zone" whiners cannot even comprehend how depressing that is for the object of their desire. Often these are the very people that once they migrated from friend to lover, become obsessed with micromanaging their girlfriend's life, cut them off from friends and family. Half of discovery ID murder shows have this dynamic in common (or so my wife tells me).
Frozengeckolover 4 years ago
Only once in my life have a seen an actual example of a girl "friend zoning" a guy. She was openly flirting with him, leading him on about the possibility of dating him, and then laughing about it. She knew he was in love with her, and she was definitely taking advantage of him. I confronted her about it, and she admitted that she just liked the attention. I gave him a heads up, and I told him he could prove it by telling her that he was going to ask me out. She blew up... at him, and me. Then he realized she was using him, and he stopped hanging out with her. I witnessed what these "nice guys" are claiming happens all the time ONCE.
Izzi 4 years ago
"Friendzone" takes away from anyone really in love with a friend, not just wanting to have sex. There are a lot of people who don't just want sex, but are emotionally in love with the other person. But of course, guys who expect sex from a girl just for not taking it by force have to negatively effect everyone involved. If you've ever fallen in love with a friend, you get what I'm saying. It sucks, especially when they (in my case, she) was dating someone else and talking about them. I never used the word friendzone when venting to my other friends, though, because I don't expect her to let me be her girlfriend. Yet parents give boys this strange idea that women are here to sleep with them! I could rant about this for an entire book...
Looking at these posts, it's clear that our society hasn't achieved gender equality quite yet. But that doesn't mean the situation is hopeless.
Chilean writer Isabel Allende, whose novels are often based upon her personal experience and historical events and pay homage to the lives of women, thinks that we're certainly progressing.
"I have lived enough to see great changes in the situation of women," Allende told The New York Times in an interview. "Little by little, women are chipping away the patriarchy. The fact we have not been able to replace it yet doesn't mean we have failed; it means that the job is monumental. But it's not impossible."
"I believe it will happen, but not in my lifetime, and it will happen only if women are educated, informed, connected and active. It takes very little for us to lose the rights we have obtained. Best recent example: the Taliban. In a few days, women and girls lost all their rights in Afghanistan, and the most awful form of patriarchy took over the country. We have to be vigilant: Given the wrong circumstances, it can happen anywhere."
#3
Samantha Lomb 4 years ago
And these are the same people screeching about "CRT" being taught in schools because they still prioritize White feelings over truth
L.A. Trefry 4 years ago
Not even that. They screech about CRT even though CRT is a LAW SCHOOL course that has never, ever, ever, ever been taught K-12.
Load More Replies... Marco Conti 4 years ago
Jacob Wohl is a tool. I am an ex soldier. Armed civilians going against trained soldiers is like if your friends at the local BBall court played against an NBA team. Even putting his racism aside, unorganized armed civilians have no chance against trained soldiers. That wasn't a problem as long as our democracy was taken seriously by a vast majority of citizens. Now though? 1/3 of the population thinks "democracy" is something we export at gunpoint to people that don't want it, but it doesn't really apply to us. Or it does, as long as your "team" wins. "Rise and fall of the Third Reich" is on Kindle Unlimited or available at your library as an e-book. Read it.
Jo Choto 4 years ago
You can't "forget" about American history when it turns out you never learned it to begin with.
Calvin Girvin 4 years ago
True. Our sanitized textbooks in our schools make sure students don't learn the truth: America is and always has been a racist society.
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Roxy Eastland 4 years ago
As a Brit I read the first bit and thought 'what??' It's internationally known that this has happened.
Tamra Stiffler 4 years ago
Yes, Roxy, and that's the problem in our country (US). These events have been swept beneath the rug, so to speak, in order to keep the pro-America propaganda machine rolling. Those that control the country want a nation of ignorant, angry, blindly patriotic people- the better to control us and get us to sign off on multi-trillion dollar military spending.
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Alicia Miller 4 years ago
Jacob Wohl is a horrible human and I'm glad he's rarely making news anymore.
Daniel Marsh 4 years ago (edited)
White people had guns. (Not sure what this post has to do with the topic, though.)
Samantha Lomb 4 years ago
The argument many second amendment gun nuts use is that if they have guns the government can't oppress them. They fail to notice its their white privilege that lets them have guns in the first place. Just go ask the Black Panthers.
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Frozengeckolover 4 years ago
Well, I don't remember those things because I was not alive then. I've only read about in books.
Lulu Lemons 4 years ago
Can someone explain this to me? I don't think I have the background knowledge to understand and a google search did nothing
Artur Sowiński 4 years ago
blacks injuns, japs coulnt have a gun in that period... guess what happenedd....
#4
Nadia Monteira 4 years ago
This one is powerful. I don't want to be beautiful as a woman to conform to a norm expected from me since I was a toddler. I want to be strong, resilient, intelligent, cultured, friendly, helpful, any adjective but beautiful. I am not a flower, I am a woman
Otter 4 years ago
I think women should stop telling each other we're beautiful, and tell each other we have worth other than beauty.
Miss Cris 4 years ago
We can be both. Real beauty comes from the eyes of the viewer, we find beauty on our beloved people when we're free and healthy (let's speak about rating of health in other post) and it's different from colonialist and capitalist and patriarcal canons of beauty.
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angry_waffle 4 years ago
i believe this thought process is called body neutrality. body neutrality is different from body positivity because body positivity focuses on every body is beautiful, while neutrality wants to remove the need to be seen as beautiful.
Jo Choto 4 years ago
This is so true. By constantly striving to change, modify and improve our appearance as women, we are only serving to perpetuate the myth that our greatest asset is our attractiveness. It's okay not to be beautiful, to never be beautiful, physically, because you are still a person with worth and value and attributes.
Snorkeldorf 4 years ago
When I was in second grade my mom came home from work and she found me in my room crying. I told her I was crying because all the girls in my class were prettier than I was. She gave me a big hug and told me it was much more important to be pretty on the inside. She said as long as people are good on the inside it shines through. She also said that many people seem to be pretty on the outside but if they're not good people it doesn't matter what they look like. That talk made a big difference in my life then and it still does decades later.
Chucky Cheezburger 4 years ago
This one could go for women and men both. Most of the time, when we meet people for the first time, the first impression is visual. We see what they look like and pre- judge that person based strictly on appearance. In hindsight, it isn't the wisest of things but that is human nature.
Theo Blackwood 4 years ago
If my stretch marks are a tattoo then I want a refund and the term ‘tiger stripes’ makes me gag. They’re stretch marks.
daniel280456 4 years ago
But if she wants a man who looks much better than her, it's the man's fault for not liking her.
But can we verify this quantitatively? Actually, yes. Since 2006, the Global Gender Gap Index has been measuring the extent of gender-based gaps among four key dimensions: economic participation and opportunity, educational attainment, health and survival, and political empowerment. Tracking the progress towards closing these gaps over time, it reports benchmarks and provides country rankings that allow for effective comparisons across and within regional peers. According to its 2020 findings, there is still a 31.4% average gender gap that remains to be closed globally.
Across the four characteristics, on average, the largest gender disparity lies within political empowerment. Despite being the most improved dimension that year, the gap on this subindex has only been closed by 25%, meaning there are still not enough women occupying seats in government across the world.
However, it's important to note that the political empowerment subindex fails to measure the legal rights of women and girls in comparison to those of men, which plays a significant role in determining the extent to which a society is equal.
"Although progress [has been] made in advancing women’s rights, it has been slow and inconsistent, and many sex-discriminatory laws remain entrenched,” Romina Canessa, a human rights lawyer at Equality Now, told Global Citizen. “When governments deny women and girls the same rights as men and boys, this legitimizes discrimination and abuse, and means they have no formal recourse if their rights are violated.”
#5
Miss Cris 4 years ago
It may be cultural. I've seen this some times in bored panda but I can affirm that in my country they will explain and they can be very explicit. And, if being among some men, all of them will talk much and at the same time.
Vicky Z 4 years ago
I don't know about that.... I'm using this technique lately and haven't found anyone that was able to explain it! Not only about sexual inappropriate jokes but also about sexist or racist jokes! They are struggling and they end up with something like " well, if you don't get it you don't have humour!"
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Trish Oliver 4 years ago
I'm just tired of the fact that women still don't make the money that men do even if we have a higher education. Women are discriminated against to keep us dependent on men, i e get married let him make all the money. ... All that b*****hit. And when they die before us, we have to live poor cuz we don't have anything in a retirement. Do the research yes women retire much poorer than men do.
Becky Samuel 4 years ago
Hahahaha. So funny. What exactly is funny about it?
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Caro Caro 4 years ago
If a man thinks this then he is an idiot and doesn't know how to have normal interaction with women.
Vicky Z 4 years ago
You know i had this conversation with a guy that said that is scared to look or talk to a woman now cause he might be accused of something! My answer was that maybe he is doing it wrong then and maybe it's good for him to be scared this time just for a change! We feel fear all the time! Told me I'm overreacting!
Load More Replies... Roxy Eastland 4 years ago
All these arguments fell on stoney ground, eh? "So now men can't even chat women up!!" 'fine by us', "we're going to miss out on sex because we're too scared to make the first move" 'Oh, wah, wah, wah' "now men are fearful to even speak to a woman" 'I think the women'll get along okay'
Joshua Rigrod 4 years ago
What the sexist males are saying is they no longer can use derogatory terms and attempt to hold Advantage sway over ladies. Regular men who speak normally to people like people do not have these problems. I should know.
Load More Replies... Chucky Cheezburger 4 years ago
And on the other side of the coin: If I hold the door for you, grab something off the top shelf you're trying to reach, offer assistance if you're obviously having auto issues, or compliment your choice in hair color, it doesn't mean I'm trying to flirt or "make a move" on you. It means I'm trying to be a decent human being, and, no, it doesn't matter it your a man or woman.
Blackstone 4 years ago (edited)
As long as all the kindness being shown to women would also be shown to another man, I'm okay with it. I'm for normalizing kindness, but it can't be just because "she's short", "she's weak", "she can't know anything about cars so imma help her", "she needs to know she's beautiful", or it's obviously not flirting because it's just straight up sexist. So yeah, if you actively offer the same to the men in your life, then cool. Let's also normalize men complementing one another and not expecting every man to master "manly" things, like auto repair, like WTF does that have to do with having male anatomy?
Load More Replies... Frozengeckolover 4 years ago
I feel like this lumping all men into the same category. My husband voiced his concern about being falsely accused. He is absolutely not sexist, or predatory. He was just freaked out by an incident at the supermarket that week. He was looking at coffee, and this woman walked up next to him and loudly said, "I hate it when men don't respect my personal space!" He stepped aside, and apologized. I just stared at her. That was so crazy! She was invading HIS space, not the other way around. If you argue that "Not all women make false accusations", then you must concede that "Not all men who fear accusation, deserve those accusation".
Rae Black 4 years ago
I think the over abundance of porn has a lot to do with how men think and interact with women. Not saying it's bad in moderation. Some guys I've met recently seem to believe that porn is reality.
Joshua Rigrod 4 years ago
I sadly have heard this before from some of said males.
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Jarrod Nichols 4 years ago
I think that's a little quick to judge. He certainly didn't state it eloquently, but there is something there. We haven't yet found the balance for who is ok and who isn't. It's true, to a point, that non-,predatory men have to be more cautious now. Is it justified? Certainly. A small price to pay for helping assure a comfortable environment for women, but still paying for other's sins nevertheless.
Joshua Rigrod 4 years ago
There are some people that we just will have to have separated from others, hopefully before they commit crimes like rape.
daniel280456 4 years ago
She's the kind of woman who calls the cops on a man playing with his child in the park.
#7
Hannah Edwards 4 years ago
I once was in a training class with a man who felt that a woman, who reported to police, having her bum slapped by a man at a party was over reacting (this was in a training scenario) When asked how he would have felt if the woman in question was his wife, he said he’d have been outraged. He genuinely couldn’t grasp that it was exactly the same thing whoever the woman was. He was training to be a police constable.
Martha Meyer 4 years ago
This dude considered his wife his property. Those other women were free game.
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Something 4 years ago
Sadly, some people don't even know the difference between respect and attraction.
Elizabeth Hendrick 4 years ago
Only respecting people who are attractive isn't respecting people.
Thomas Sweda 4 years ago
I agree with just about everything said here, but I would also observe that it seems that sometimes it’s only sexual harassment if the girl doesn’t like you. Just sayin.
The economic and labor market gender gap has been closed by 58%. This is due to the fact that, on average, only 55% of women are participating in the global workforce, and their presence in higher-yielding positions is even lower.
Plus, this disparity is exacerbated by the global wage gap, which affects women across all industries and backgrounds, and has remained relatively stagnant throughout the last five years or so. These components highlight the challenges women face to escape poverty and become financially and economically independent.
#8
Lauren Caswell 4 years ago
And it hurts everyone, to paint emotions as a weakness rather than a part of humanity
Miss Cris 4 years ago
Also denying emotions as part of reality, as they eren't "objective", "rational" and other traits attached only to men. Stop binarism, please. We all are everithing and all are useful tools of human beings.
J. Brelner 4 years ago
How noble! Then why did a woman dream up the idea of a "male tears" coffer mug? Tee-hee.
Load More Replies... Jo Choto 4 years ago
It's amazing how stereotypical "feminine" emotions are considered weak and the "male" ones are just ignored. I mean, last I checked, anger, jealousy, competitiveness, all of that stuff that fills men-only spaces, hell, devotional responses to sports teams, all that stuff is emotion too, ya know.
Strawberry Hellcat 4 years ago
Don't forget war. Number one on the "destructive emotional response" scale.
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Vicky Z 4 years ago
That's because for centuries we were thought as problematic because of our hormones and periods! "Women can't vote because they are unstable due to their hormones". "Women cannot lead because they will take wrong decisions during their periods". "Women cannot travel by train because their uteruses will fly out their bodies".🙄🙄🙄🙄
Gerard Neaux 4 years ago
Ah yes the "wondering womb". Illnesses made up by physicians dropped on their heads.
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Nathan Pogorzala 4 years ago
The cowardly man's need to constantly size up the male pecking order is causing damn near all the issues in the world.
bxttery_bxby 4 years ago
My own mother told me that I wouldn't make a good president because "You're a woman, and you are too emotional." ?? Way to support me, mom
Piet Puk 4 years ago
Indeed! Men are better in controling their emotion... until their favorite team loses.
Blackstone 4 years ago
Ignoring or stuffing it down is not controlling, it's displacing. Emotions are like water, it's got to go somewhere. You either actively address, feel, and manage it, or you don't and it comes out another way, like stress or fear turned to anger and coming out at other drivers or at the server at the restaurant or at the kids. It's not that "men need more outlets" (they may), but it wouldn't be so bad if they were allowed self care to manage the stress to begin with.
Load More Replies... Kathryn Baylis 4 years ago
Especially since I know an enormous number of men who will never admit they can be HUGE drama kings. Who will overreact at any perceived slight—-perceived, as well as actual. Who will just retreat to another room and quite literally curl up and die whenever life throws them a curveball, yet proclaim that they have a can-do attitude and can withstand any adversity. They’re the type who would leave town because they “just can’t handle” things like pregnant girlfriends or loss of income, etc—-while leaving the WOMEN behind to actually deal with the problem(s), and straighten out their fuckups that caused them in the first place. And those same women usually end up doing that quite skillfully too, and with no help or old boys’ network to help them either.
#9
Miss Cris 4 years ago
On the other hand, I invite men to have more fun (only people who wants to!) in their appearance. It's also feminism to allow non cis women to wear make up, jewelry, coloured clothes and other clothes different from a shirt or t-shirt and plain trousers. I mean, as a chice, never mandatory!
redties_and_blackparades 4 years ago
Boys can be who they want. Girls can be who they want. Tbh i’m just happy with people being themselves <3
Casey McAlister 4 years ago
They don't, if you aren't attracted to boys, neither with makeup nor without it. It's not about makeup, it's about your own subjective taste.
Jaz Wood 4 years ago
Please clarify for a man. I know that make up companies target women hard. It seems like an incredible hassle. Yet make up tutorials are very popular and make up is a frequent topic among women I know. They're not talking about carburetors and paddle shifting. I think makeup for men would be at best as popular as wearing a suit and tie which most men hate. I don't see mechanics, line workers and coal miners ever wearing makeup at work regardless of sex. Is it so terrible that men and women have different tastes in general?
Joey Marlin 4 years ago
It's assumptions that create the problem. You might be right in saying that there are generalisations that apply to the different sexes but there are always people who buck those trends and they aren't always obvious. So, no, it isn't terrible that there are different tastes in general but it is terrible if you assume that every man or every woman will follow those trends - or assume one is better than the other. Find out from the individual what they like and who they are and go in with an open mind.
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Manny_Flawz 4 years ago
I am a guy who thinks that women don't need to waste money on makeup. You are fine just the way you are.
Tiny Dancer 4 years ago
And yet, here I am at 57, been told all my life how awful women look without makeup and I still refuse to wear it. The last time I wore it on a regular basis was before my son was born when I worked in the corporate world (skirts, high heels, pantyhose, and makeup, oh my!). We moved into this apartment 10 years ago and I still haven't found my makeup bag.
Carrie de Luka 4 years ago
No. Cattiness is not a sex-linked characteristic. It gets portrayed as a thing women do to others in films far more than it exists in reality. The bitchiest people I've known were both men. Being snarky and unkind about other people is truly nothing to do with any male/female divide and all about those particular individual's sh!tty personalities.
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adiiantryx 4 years ago
divorces are used in statistical analyses as a measure of the progressiveness of a society
Susie Elle 4 years ago
The only reason we even 'need' marriage in society is for God or tax purposes
Chucky Cheezburger 4 years ago
What makes it screwed up is that marriage is more like a contract except there is no end date or escape clause except for divorce. Either make it a fully written legal contract or make it a religious union with no terms and conditions. Right now, it's a mix of the worst of the 2.
Frozengeckolover 4 years ago
I can attest to that. I'm American, and my first husband was abusive. Everyone in my family, and community, was against divorce because it went against their Christian values. I had no support when I left him. I became homeless. I lived in a car in a junkyard, under a bridge, and in some strangers barn for a while. When I asked for help, I was told to go back to my husband, and trust God to work it out. I sought help outside of the Christian community, and I actually recieved the help I needed. I'm no longer Christian. That was the last straw for me.
At least 35 of the 153 surveyed countries have closed the education gender gap by 96.1%. However, this number varies across education levels.
Globally, girls are less likely to receive an education due to gender-based discrimination, child marriage, and the burden of fulfilling domestic chores, all of which prevent young girls and teens from attending school.
While more young girls and women are attending primary and secondary school, less than half are going on to attend college.
#11
Marcellus II 4 years ago
Very true, the picture part. But what I don't get is the caption above? I've met the occasional stereotypical 'dumb blonde' (of every hair and skin color), but I don't see how I'd ever frame that as "being attracted to women in a nutshell".
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Nikki Sevven 4 years ago
For me, if the body is handsome but the brain is ugly, I no longer feel attracted.
Vicky Z 4 years ago
Can't even count the times that this have happened to me
Load More Replies... Marco Conti 4 years ago
Actually, this one cuts both ways. I had a very pretty girlfriend once with whom I had nothing in common. She had no intellectual curiosity, wasn't interested in the same things I was and I couldn't understand what it was she was passionate about, if anything. Eventually, I decided to split up but I was trying to come up with a delicate way to do it. She bored me to tears, but she wasn't a bad person, just dull. As I was going to call her to ask her to meet me at a coffee shop, she called me and dumped me. She got mad I wasn't devastated at the news. Thinking back, "drama" was the one thing she was passionate about.
Roxy Eastland 4 years ago
Ha ha ha ha ha. I remember once seeing a guy in a night club that I liked the look of and going over to speak to him (the evening I worked out *I* could offer to buy a guy a drink, and if it didn't go any further he was still chuffed to bits that a girl had bought him a drink and it was all much easier, was the best evening). He was a bit younger than me, cute, long blond hair, we got chatting. He was a complete moron. Later on I discovered that he was also slightly racist. What a waste of external packaging, LOL.
Joshua Rigrod 4 years ago
Sometimes we like a person just for their looks. And this is why, because they turn out to be a himbo.
Load More Replies... Fat Harry 4 years ago
If this were a picture of a man talking about a woman there would be outrage. Posts like this do the equality movement no favours.
Marcellus II 4 years ago
Well, they strive for equality by plumbing the same depths? Along the lines of Nyquist's theory of equilibrium, "Equality is not when a female Einstein gets promoted to assistant professor; equality is when a female schlemiel moves ahead as fast as a male schlemiel."
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Bicurious cat 4 years ago
This i good and sad. Good that there is a illustration! Bad that neither me nor they have seen one.
Roxy Eastland 4 years ago
Really bad that we never even thought about it. That's what I first thought when I came across this post for the first time.
Load More Replies... Ozacoter 4 years ago
Have you ever seen a "human evolution" drawing portraying only women or non white people? Its almost impossible to find one. I have one with all females/women that ends up with a black woman but it took me forever to find it.
Joshua Rigrod 4 years ago
I've seen the human evolution with black and Asian representation, but sadly, never a female.
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Demi Zwaan 4 years ago
Don't biology books in African countries have black people in illustrations? No Asians in Asian books? Genuine question, because I don't know, but I just can't imagine other countries that aren't predominantly white never having developed their own books.
Lp Johnson 4 years ago
It's 'likely', but certainly not a given, since Colonialism and the eurocentric "standard" of 'normal' and 'beautiful' has touched just about every corner of the planet. Even in predominately non-white societies, women clamor to "bleach" their skin so they can meet the "standard" of "beauty". In education, the "standard" is older white male, so it's possible the renderings in medical books look just like they do in the Western cultures.
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redjina donker 4 years ago (edited)
When a baby of color is born, it takes time for the melanin (colors) in their skin to come up :) A lot of babies are actually born with yellow or pink/white skin
Eiram 4 years ago (edited)
True, babies of African origin are not as dark as their parents at first, but they will be darker than parents of pale skin.
Load More Replies... Deja Katz 4 years ago
I’ve worked with neonates in a medical setting. Although I don’t oppose the image, which is progressive, the weird thing is all babies look pinkish in utero. And straight after getting born their color is what you’d expect after they’ve been steeped in water for 9 months! Even babies from v.dark skinned parents take a couple days of light exposure to get their overall color; the pigment tends to sit around their finger and toenails before landing in the rest of their skin. Babies are cute and pretty amazing!
debora shuger 4 years ago
It's been 43 years, but I remember being struck that all the newborns in the hospital where my daughter was born were more or less the same color, with the same color eyes. I don't recall what color it was, just that, unlike the mothers, they were all pretty much the same color.
#13
Samantha Lomb 4 years ago
Every female expert has to deal with these sorts of men almost every day. It is so deeply frustrating.
Kimi Tomminello 4 years ago
Being a female farmer and agricultural researcher I can definitely confirm. Men loved telling me I was wrong, mansplaining and then admitting they'd never even been to a farm. 🙄 I just stopped trying, kept my head down and dad my own thing.
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Troux 4 years ago
This was impressive though. Not only did he presume how to make macarons without ever having tried, he also presumed what a tutorial would say without even doing the 30 -second armchair research to back it up.
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Clare C 4 years ago
Yeh but I bet he still insisted she was doing it wrong even if she make a million quid doing it.
Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
Macarons as metaphor for my life: Some guy telling me I'm doing it wrong, sometimes as I'm stitching his wound shut. "Oh, my real doctor..." Yeah, I'm imaginary. .. Sorry. Early morning after weekend doubles, and it was a "holiday". Drunks *and* Covid. yeesh.....
Chucky Cheezburger 4 years ago
Just goes to show, you can't help stupid. It's usually wise to defer to experience, regardless of the subject matter or what kind of plumbing there is.
Anna Banana 4 years ago
For some reason this furstrates me more than anything else, this confidence they have when talking out of their asses.
Load More Replies... Jo Choto 4 years ago
It's just baffling to encounter a man who thinks they are more qualified than you to be alive. I came across it time and again in many different businesses. I was always able to put that man in his place pretty easily, but there's just SO many of them. Thanks to all the guys who are normal human beings. I appreciate you.
Frozengeckolover 4 years ago
I had a guy tell me, repeatedly, that I couldn't make a drop cake the way I was making it. I told him, repeatedly, that it was my grandmother's recipe; I had made it many times before. Finally, I told him to shut up, or go home. He decided to shut up. We had an excellent drop cake for dessert, then I called him an ignorant, know-it-all, little b*tch, and he left. Good times. Lol.
Although the global gender gap for health care and survival has been closed by 95.7%, millions of women worldwide still do not have equal access to health care, especially reproductive health care.
Jennifer Weiss-Wolf, vice-president for development at the Brennan Center for Justice, thinks that period poverty and menstrual stigma play significant roles in holding society back from achieving gender equality, noting that these barriers can also hold them back from participating in politics, the workforce, and education.
“If menstruation inhibits anybody from any one of those things, it inhibits them from all four, which places it squarely in the heart of what it means to achieve full gender equality,” she explained. “If we don’t have policies in place to ensure a safe and open, and accurate discussion around menstruation, treatment of menstruation, in all of these ways, we are leaving off the table a considerable component.”
In order to achieve gender equality and make all of these pictures a thing of the past, countries across the globe must increase the number of women in government, ensure education is accessible to all women and girls, create free or affordable child care so that more women can participate in the labor market, and provide access to safe reproductive health care.
#14
Marcellus II 4 years ago
Also to relatives in general, parents uncles aunts and children over 18y.
Load More Replies... Lousha 4 years ago
May I add parent/relation. Merely sharing a piece of DNA should not be a reason to tolerate intolerable behaviour that is poisoning your life.
Kamiru 4 years ago
thank you so much <3 I want that in golden letters on my nonexistant fireplace! can you go on tv and tell everyone|it is veeery important!!!
Load More Replies... Otter 4 years ago
If your partner adds to your burdens instead of relieving them... why are you with them? You weren't put on Earth to make your partner happy, you were put on Earth to make yourself happy! Be with the one who adds to your happiness, not the one who expects you to devote yourself to theirs.
Todd 4 years ago
I love this one. Before after years and I finally got a divorce I remember wondering if I’m doomed to be this miserable forever. Never should have let it get so far. Wish it could have been so simple for me but remember it’s always better late than never. I can’t be embarrassed I stayed in a bad relationship so long but be proud I got out of one.
Marco Conti 4 years ago
Absofuckinglutely. There are people that love to make their lives as dramatic as possible. They see relationships as a zero sum game, where their happiness has to come at the expense of their partner. It's frankly exhausting and pointless.
Mosheh Wolf 4 years ago (edited)
No. If that is what you want from your partner, that is what you should demand. But nobody, even Twitter "stars", get to tell everybody else what they should want from a partner. Seriously - relationships are as a complex and varied as people are.
#15
Miss Marmite 4 years ago
if they can understand straight couples then they can understand gay couples
Lousha 4 years ago
Kids don't care. They accept absolutely everything as normal. Until adults (and other kids already indoctrinated by adults) start telling them that it is not okay. Uuuuh, you mom is so fat, it's disgusting! Your daddy is just a janitor, not as cool as a lawyer! You were born with an arm missing, how sad your life must be! You can't be friends with that boy, he's black/muslim/catholic etc! Tidy up your room, a girl cannot be so messy or nobody will love you! You cannot have two daddies, you have to have a mommy and a daddy! These are not observations that kids make on their own naturally. We tell them to feel this way.
Helen Haley 4 years ago
It is true. Kids really don't give a crap. If you told them they have a chicken for a cousin, they'd be like 'ok, can I go play on the ipad now?' Kids just don't care.
Load More Replies... Roxy Eastland 4 years ago
I've never got the whole 'they're too young for me to explain the concept to' idea. I mean, I really, really don't understand it. We are quite happy with them seeing mixed sex couples. Often the person saying it is openly part of a mixed sex couple. We don't feel the need to 'explain' it. So what has to be explained with a same sex couple? When Cinderella married Prince Charming did these people get all flustered thinking they had to now explain sexual intercourse, oral sex, and so on?
Got Myself 4 Dwarves 4 years ago
Kids don't care - my kids asked why so and so didn't have a girlfriend, they were informed he had a boyfriend. Okay. End of discussion - they didn't find it weird or have any confusion. Just acceptance. It's adults who complicate the matter and teach children to be biased. When I talked to them about those in society who are against peoples lifestyles their response was "why do they care? It doesn't involve them"
Jo Choto 4 years ago
I remember back in the day when my child was maybe four or five and I was playing a very early version of the Sims. I guess she came in and saw my male couple kissing on the screen and said, "But boys don't kiss each other." So I very simply explained to her that most people who were girls liked boys, and most people who were boys liked girls, but that there were plenty of people who love those of the same gender as well, and it was totally fine. "Oh," she said. And that was that. It was that simple. She had no problem understanding it.
XSpooky_Mint 4 years ago
Kids only "don't understand" gay couples after their parents shove a bunch of bullshit down their throats
Frankenfrog 4 years ago
Kids don't care if anyone's gay or not, they care if people are happy. It's only when they're taught that there's something wrong with it, it becomes an issue
#16
XSpooky_Mint 4 years ago
Are they gonna start making pockets when they realize the women are evolving?
Louloubelle 4 years ago
I bought a pair of jeans at Target a couple of weeks ago. Their brand (I believe) The pockets were ENORMOUS! I could stick my hand in the front & back pockets all the way past my wrist! It was amazing! And they were stretchy! I could put TWO PHONES in one pocket! I'm going to buy 10 more pairs!
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Moo Moo Futch 4 years ago
I bought some jeans recently for tall ladies (38" inside leg). Usually I buy them and know that for the long I'm going to not have any pockets. However this time I put on my new black jeans and put my hands in to the pockets and realised they were FULL FUNCTIONAL POCKETS. I actually shrieked from excitement!! What was amazing is that the company didn't even put that as a feature of the jeans! It was a wonderful, magical surprise!
Jennifer Hargett 4 years ago
Please share the brand name and where you got them so we can all have the pockets too!
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Jacob Nunez 4 years ago
“Men we need to stop this epidemic of woman using their hands to hold stuff” Man 283: “how about we make pockets” “No” Man 189: “How about we get rid of hands” “No because they cant do anything without hands” Man 248: “How about we complain about it. they’ll surely listen to us” “Great idea man 248”
Ivona Strazdauskė 4 years ago
That is 100% me, when I go to the grocery shop and think that I don't need a basket :D and then you walk around the shop putting all efforts to not loose anything
TrixicBird(Any pronouns) 3 years ago
i was carrying stuff like that and my brother just stared at me like way-62032d...d7918.jpeg 
#17
K Witmer 4 years ago
This is very true and there will be a man in here no doubt talking about feminism and how it's hatred of men and how it's ruining mens lives but he can't name a single man that's ever been hurt by feminism nor does he know what feminism is. He'll lie and deflect though that's for sure. I bet it will be truth monster.
Anna Banana 4 years ago (edited)
Brings to mind the Men Going Their Own Way movement, which on paper sounds great (men deciding to live their best lives for themselves, not for women), but somehow ended up with those same men actually obsessing about women.
Frozengeckolover 4 years ago
My husband has some friends in that group. Most of them stick to themselves, but, occassionally, one of them will send me a passive-aggressive meme on FB. I just forward it to my husband so he can have a word with them. We don't really act like a couple online, so I guess they misread the weird vibe that he and I have with each other.
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Pisco 4 years ago
This is very telling. Hate is never the solution and misandry is a bad thing (but unfrequent). BUT it is true that men hating women are way more dangerous than a woman hating men.
Brat hard 4 years ago
I think the problem isn't love or hate here it's just lack of repercussions that makes violence against women more prevalent
Gerard Neaux 4 years ago
Not having laws, having weak laws, or having laws that aren't properly enforced.
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Pam Page 4 years ago
I find it sad that so many woman view men as stalking animals. I am glad that my life has been filled with amazing men. Wish the same for all these posters.
K Witmer 4 years ago
Yes when your violent experiences and trauma have come from men it teaches you to be wary of men. Sadly 1 out of every 3 women will be sexually violated in some way by a man before the age of 18. You're the 2 out of 10 that got lucky I hope for your sake it stays that way the rest of your life.
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LaToya Mack 4 years ago
I don’t know how white men are not put on some type of list. I have two words for everybody to consider serial killers. Men are serial killers. Serial killers are white men, so are most domestic terrorist. Who needs a clue?
#18
XSpooky_Mint 4 years ago
Yeah, I'm not going to respect you when you just told me my entire existence disgusts you. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some gay s**t to attend to
Stoopham McFernybabes 4 years ago
You do that gay s**t and you enjoy it! Power to you!
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Kassiopeia 4 years ago (edited)
It's yelling at people for putting pineapple on their own pizza
Nikki Sevven 4 years ago
Some people need to learn this... You have the right to your opinion. You do NOT have the right to have your opinion respected.
Luna 4 years ago
Why does it have to be so hard to accept people for who they are. Why does everything need to "labeled"? I wish there was a cosmic reset button that would remove all these stereotypes and preconceptions and open everyone's eyes to see each other's souls, instead of the "boxes" we're trapped in. 😔
Louloubelle 4 years ago
This subject is near and dear to my heart, as I have a transgender daughter. A jerk that I worked with told me he "didn't approve" of transgender people. I told him, that's okay, she didn't need or ask for his approval. He then had the gall to start asking me about whether she was also gay. So, I asked him if he and his wife "did it doggy style, or just missionary style". Or did they mix it up occasionally. He was horrified and told me I was inappropriate and that none of that was my business. I just looked at him and said "precisely". And walked away.
Emmydearest 4 years ago
Imagine going to a passerby and start yelling that their life is an abomination, their choices are terrible, they should be ashamed of themselves, they are evil, wrong, a bad example, that they should be denied of their rights, they shouldn't get married nor have children, they are worthy of a good beating because of their behaviour, and they should basically either kill themselves or at least live a life of denial and chastity. Mmm, I think this poor passerby would and should sue your ass for harassment and slander. It's definitely not "fReEdOm Of SpEeCh". So why is that tolerated when it comes to entire communities like lgbtqa+ ? Is that freedom of speech or just plain harassment and slander?
Marco Conti 4 years ago
I am not so sure about pineapple on pizza either, but when the objective is to oppress an entire group of people trying to live their lives in peace, no respect is due.
#19
Vishy 4 years ago
I buy extra and keep it at home so my wife won't have to panic because pads or tampons are not there.
Vicky Z 4 years ago (edited)
You are definitely a keeper! And yet there are men that are ashamed to buy pads for their wives
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Kathryn Baylis 4 years ago (edited)
Luckily, I married a man who had no issue with buying those products for me when I still needed them, and for reading up about what women go through during menopause when I hit that age. Maybe being raised by a single mother, plus having a sister, helped with that. Understanding gained through experience helps a lot more than people realize.
Kirsty 4 years ago
When having a lil party or BBQ, anything where's there's a few people over, I always have a basket thing out in the bathroom with tampons, pads, wet wipes, hairspray, comb and a few other bits. If anyone needs it, it's there, no need to come and ask as some people get embarrassed. Especially since some of my nephew's have reached the age that they're bringing girlfriends over with them.
Marco Conti 4 years ago
Coincidentally, I am using my wife's maxipad (cut to size) wrapped around my leaking vape pen. Maxipads are also very good for bullet wounds. Just in case.
Two_rolling_black_eyes 4 years ago
How can pads cost more than the same number of sterile dressing? You cannot convince me it takes more technology or processing to create them considering the average human uses more of one in a month than they use of the other their entire life.
Enea 4 years ago (edited)
Tampons cost an arm and a leg? I just made a quick calculation: I spend between 1,50 and 3 EUR per period on tampons (I'm in Germany), which I consider appropriately cheap. Where does the post come from and how much are we talking here? Genuinely interested in experiences from other countries.
Missy Missy 4 years ago
Aussie here. Lowest you'll pay is around $4 a pack, and that's usually on sale. People who aren't working get $300pw to live on. Take out all the bills, food, etc, and you can see how it can become a luxury for some. Just because you don't find it a struggle doesn't mean it's the same for all.
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Frozengeckolover 4 years ago
Totally! I always carry some, in case someone needs one. My periods have always been pretty regular, but some women start early sometimes, or we forget when it's coming, or we simply forget our tampons.
#20
Joshua Rigrod 4 years ago
I'm not disagreeing with the comment, but what does this have to do with the patriarchy?
Kathryn Baylis 4 years ago (edited)
If its content is not offensive (swastikas, nudity, foul language, racial/gender/religious/ethnic/etc slurs, etc), it shouldn’t matter. Same with piercings. If they’re out overly distracting, or the ear/lip/belly/etc rings aren’t offensive shapes, then it shouldn’t matter. As long as there’s no hygiene issue that could negatively affect the health and well-being of their fellow employees, just let them be free to have their own style. What SHOULD matter is how knowledgeable, capable, and talented they are at their job. Not what they look like.
Mazer 4 years ago
I ran into a guy who worked customer service at a large insurance firm. He said he was moving. I asked why (I’m curious). He said because the same company allows employees to have tattoos visible in another State, they do not allow visible tattoos anywhere in the State we were in.
redties_and_blackparades 4 years ago
Thank you for preparing me for the future. Both for meetings and the tattoo i want
Samantha Lomb 4 years ago
Oh yes it does. As a woman with tattoos you would not believe the number of random men who think they have a right to tell you how slutty you look or how you ruined your body because they don't like how they look. Its also deeply Eurocentric.
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Nathan Pogorzala 4 years ago
seriously, these these cowardly man-children always trying to prove their masculinity and "toughness" is sickening. Just admit it, you have deep seeded insecurities and you feel inadequate, plus you are scared to death of anything that is even slightly outside your "cultural" norm. get some help!
Kathryn Baylis 4 years ago
Passed one who was driving slower than molasses in January on a back road. In didn’t have to speed to pass him, that’s how slow he was. Well, god forbid a woman in her car should pass a man in his. He got royally pissed off, literally rode my back fender all the way into town, and made a point of getting out of his car to yell at me while I was at a drive-through ordering a coffee. I have a Master’s degree in Conflict Resolution, so I knew to not react at all—-not giving credence to his rant—-until he realized he wasn’t getting the reaction he expected (basically meek female apologizing to the omniscient man—-f**k that s**t) from me and left. The microphone for the drive-through was on the whole time. They just up and comped my coffee for handling that asshole so well. I thanked them and tipped them well. Haven’t seen him since, even though I still use that back road, same days, same hours.
John Smith 4 years ago
not all men, very true.. but this guy.. hell yes. As far as I can see the people shouting "not all men" are usually the ones to avoid. The "not all" that aren't a problem are just getting on with their lives and leaving people alone.
FruityTootsieRoll 4 years ago
My ex-bestfriend defended the "Not all men" bullcr*p. Oh, and she also got mad when I didn't agree with her lol
#22
Samantha Lomb 4 years ago
Women's contributions are consistently erased. Science is particularly bad about that. Or giving credit for women's ideas to men.
Bob Bobbs 4 years ago
Art as well. There are famous well known female painters , but so few compared to men. It's ridiculous.
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LakeMonster 4 years ago
Many people recognize Mary Shelley as the first modern author of science fiction. And I agree it should be universal.
Levi Owens 4 years ago
To play a bit of Devil's advocate here, I run a book store, and we keep Frankenstein in the 'Horror' section. Have you ever seen a movie adaptation of the novel referred to as 'Science Fiction'? Just a thought. She was amazing regardless.
Chris Mbuff 4 years ago
The Chemical Wedding, by Johann Valentin Andreae is considered the first Sci Fi novel. So both points could be considered incorrect. The point remains that too often the great contributions of woman to our shared world is very under stated, and that is not acceptable..
Marcellus II 4 years ago (edited)
Whatwhatnow? By whom? Sources? That book is a foundational work for the religion/sect of Rosencrucianism... By that argument the Bible is a far older SF story, involving a magical sky friend creating life out of nothing. I cite Wikipedia: "It is an allegoric romance (story) divided into Seven Days, or Seven Journeys, like Genesis, and recounts how Christian Rosenkreuz was invited to go to a wonderful castle full of miracles, in order to assist the Chymical Wedding of the king and the queen, that is, the husband and the bride. "
Load More Replies... Marcellus II 4 years ago
The argument that Frankenstein is the first science fiction story (or a science fiction story at all) is due to the SF writer Brian Aldiss. If it is SF, then Christopher Marlowe's Dr Faustus would be SF too --- both start with a scientist going where he shouldn't go --- and then that would be almost 200y older & written by a man. [Interestingly, the real Johann Georg Faust did visit and was banished from Ingolstadt, where the fictional Frankenstein creates his monster.]
otplus 4 years ago (edited)
There is a clear cut difference in both, Faust end up using rituals as mean to the end, and a demon appears. While M.S. stars from a few experiments that were made of shocking the muscles from a few animals and even humans that produced movement, so even if the resulting monster should be a impossibility, the origin from it was from the scientific experiment being done a the time. Not magic or esoteric knowledge
Load More Replies... #23
Samantha Lomb 4 years ago
I'm positive we will have at least one troll in the comments here telling us "how fourth wave feminism" is really all about hating men
Sinter Klaas 4 years ago
Isn't the definition of feminism rather straight forward: equal rights for men and women. Who doesn't want that?
Becky Samuel 4 years ago
Come back when you finish elementary school, dumbáss.
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Kathryn Baylis 4 years ago (edited)
I can’t tell you how many times I asked for a raise, and gave documented proof of my contribution to the company profits, and was told by the boss that I should be grateful they gave me a job in the first place. Even though they were paying me much less than the average, and hadn’t given me a raise in a year or two. All while the cost of rent, groceries, utilities, gas, and everything else still steadily went up. Yeah, you gave me a job. But I took that job and made you X amount of profit. I think I fully deserve a portion of that profit, because it was MY effort that made it, not yours.
Joshua Rigrod 4 years ago
This isn't just patriarchy, but women and minorities suffer this worse. Thank you great resignation for teaching this lesson!
Guy MacGregor 4 years ago
I googled her, she is an Unosian union leader. Funny to see the USA being late again. Europe went through that process during the Industrial Revolution In the 1800s.
Sky Render 4 years ago
So did the US. The problem is that we got complacent and let corporations convince enough of us that unions are evil and we should be thankful for a job that it all got undone about 50 years ago. The issue is less that we learned it late and more that we were forced to unlearn it by the 1% so they could squeeze more profit out of us.
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Johanna 4 years ago
They didnt think this through. If their penises are so big, wo wants them? This would be just painful.
Touch Connors 4 years ago
You know, women can stretch enough to have a baby. But that doesn't mean that I want to have one every time I see you. -Marsha Warfield
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J. F. 4 years ago (edited)
Remember: Hitting the cervix of a woman feels like a kick in the nuts for her (according to a friend). Bigger isn't always better
Amy S 4 years ago
I describe it to my husband as like being poked in the eye. Not fun.
Load More Replies... Roxy Eastland 4 years ago
I remember one man (in a non-sexual context, there was nothing between us) stating "put it this way, I don't wash my feet with my socks on" and I have never forgotten how stupid he sounded. It was getting on for thirty years ago.
Viviane 4 years ago (edited)
So vaginas are like footbaths? I know, I know, I out-stupid stupid people. :(
Load More Replies... Marco Conti 4 years ago
Hilarious. Unless he has to go around pushing a wheelbarrow with his d**k coiled in it, it's just wishful thinking.
Kathryn Baylis 4 years ago
The kind of man who makes that statement is generally the kind of man who overly exaggerates everything else about himself.
Rosie Hamilton 4 years ago
Been saying for years 'large' condoms were just to make men feel chuffed. Very stretchy things, condoms.
bob bruce 4 years ago
If it happens again tell them you've seen condoms on much bigger ones.
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Mazer 4 years ago
Choosing a known hell over an unknown Heaven is fear based. It’s f****d up, it means you are making a choice for the kids in the marriage to be living in a place of constant underlying tension and stress. No matter how hard a parent or parents try to “get along for the sake of”, the kids are going to feel it.
I' Gomez & Morticia's kid 4 years ago
I remember when my mother got bashed by her own family (my grandparents ) cuz she split with the donor of her child (me) and somehow it was her fault for leaving behind that toxic relationship.
Jessi Lovely 4 years ago
It’s like, “yaaay were the best at continuing f****d up relationships and brainwashing our beloved children into continuing the cycle”
lunar eclipse 4 years ago
Someone my parents know got divorced. His wife had a well paying job and left. Now he's saying he wants to marry a woman who I quote "Doesn't do a job. I don't want her to be independent."
#27
Charlie Taube 4 years ago
Exactly, they are just inventing a description for what was already there, like Newton.
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Ozacoter 4 years ago
We shouldnt give that much importance to gender. Gender is a set of sexist opressive rules that tells people who they must behave. We need to eliminate gender altogether.
Aroace tiger (any pronouns) 4 years ago (edited)
I think we should eliminate gender roles not gender itself, but of course this is just my opinion
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Cheese Dinner 3 years ago
THANKYOU MY MOTHER CANNOT GRASP THE FACT THAT LGBTQ+ EXISTED BEFORE NOW
LaToya Mack 4 years ago
No they are making us all participate in a self delusion that needs to be squashed. If you yourself is experiencing something under ground why does everybody else have to change? Maybe it’s just you and your environment maybe it’s just you?
#28
Ozacoter 4 years ago
Also we all need to remember that privilege and oppression are not a one or zero aspect of life. A person can be privileged as a man but be opressed as a etnic minority or be white and disabled, rich and gay...
Miss Cris 4 years ago
And they all multiply thir effects when combined. It isn't the same a white lesbian girl, beautiful and young, than an old black woman without children, for instance.
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Scagsy 4 years ago
This applies to literally everything. Poverty, starvation, drought, tampons, education, racism, sexism, homelessness, persecution, homophobia, oppression, torture, freedom etc. I think that most of us are in a position of privilege without realising it in many cases. We don't need to make life-altering differences to the less privileged but dropping a tin of beans in the food bank now and then can't hurt if you can afford it.
Miss Cris 4 years ago
That's why people who understand feminism can understand so much other things as well.
Load More Replies... Jarrod Nichols 4 years ago
When are we going to start recognizing that 99% of this so called "privilege" is economic, not racial???
Two_rolling_black_eyes 4 years ago
The word privilege means 'private law'. It means there are less or no restrictions on what you do. There's a big difference between "innocent until proven guilty" and "not subject to prosecution".
Terran 4 years ago
Privilege IS the presence of perks and benefits. Words can have multiple meanings! They are still right tho.
Laura Dawson 4 years ago
look at the concept of white privilege, people shout this applies to all white people & all white people have a leg up in every aspect of life. While me (white) got pulled out of class with the black kids as we all lived in the same neighbourhood (poor) to be told in a patronised manner that due to our postcode, they would be giving us extra help as if we needed it, we were all smart & did well. Just because we didn’t live in an affluent area didn’t mean we were all going to turn out to be bums.
Viviane 4 years ago
The term "trailer trash" bugs me for the classist stereotype. A trailer might be what a person can afford.
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LilliVB 3 years ago
We need also to understand that overcome a privilege isn't a way to take away a right. When we let all the people of age vote, we didn't take away the right from the people that could already vote. They could and can still vote. This must be understood for any kind of privilege imo
Josy Bannon 4 years ago (edited)
Very true, but the problem still is, you wouldnt know about the things you dont go through, you are clueless. Others can make you see only.
Aeon Flux 4 years ago
But you can decide to research or read about diverse perspectives and different takes on history than those that were handed to you.
Load More Replies... #29
Jo Choto 4 years ago
Someone said that to me once. I said, "Oh, well, what are other girls like?" And when he finished his diatribe, I said, "Well, it just sounds to me like you really hate women." There wasn't another date after that. Fortunately.
Miss Cris 4 years ago
And it also means "you're different from them only because I want to fück you and whereas I'm doing this, or at least it's what I'll tell you (I may not think so) in order to put my penis in your vagina for a while".
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H Edwards 4 years ago
When I tell my boyfriend that he's not like other men, I absolutely mean it as an insult to men in general :)
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Bender Bending Rodríguez 4 years ago
Not being sarcastic or critiquing anything, my ESL is flaring up today. Can someone please explain this tweet to me like I am 3 yo. I am having hard time following it. Thank you.
RedMarbles 4 years ago
Telling a woman/girl that she's unlike her gender is something often used as a compliment from a man/boy to a woman/girl. The poster is pointing out that it logically follows that, while a compliment to the individual, it's an insult to the gender and maybe think twice before getting involved with someone who has issues with your entire gender, even if initially they find you to be acceptable because you're not like the others.
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Emerald Ocean 4 years ago
This reminds me of Haley Seinfield’s song “MOST GIRLS”. Oh how I love that song
ThatOneWriter 4 years ago
I really wish I knew this when I was younger. On a related note, girls that say "I'm not like other girls" to mean they're superior are spouting internalized misogyny. They need help.
Eric Schultz Saindon 4 years ago
I would hear this phrase or some variation of it growing up and it legitimately confused me. I never understood the compliment in this phrase.
Nubis Knight 4 years ago
Except you both are the same kind of nerd and the nerdy stuff is what glues you together. I always felt excluded from the other girls cause I liked "boy-things" like comics and PC-Games and StarWars. It was a real relief when I found other girls like me that didn't cancel me out.
Pisco 4 years ago
I feel you but the problem here are not how 'women' are is how society tells women that need to be.
Load More Replies... Frozengeckolover 4 years ago
Guys usually just tell me I'm weird. I smile and say, "Thanks. I try." Then they look confused.
#30
XSpooky_Mint 4 years ago
If you don't give her the option to say 'no' then 'yes' means nothing
Troux 4 years ago
Also, 50 no's and a yes means yes. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=djpMef3hdCA
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Miss Cris 4 years ago
Also, pressure like "marriage obligations" that hide so much rapes, and because of having more money or owning the house where they live. I won't develope religious, traditional and conservative issues...
Mamabear76 4 years ago
I didn't even know that your husband can actually"rape" his wife until I went to therapy and talked about some of the things going on in my marriage and the therapist calmly informed me that I had definitely been raped by my husband on several occasions. I just always thought that once you were married it was what happened. I married at 17yrs old due to pregnancy. Stayed for 20yrs and suffered alot.
Load More Replies... Jessi Lovely 4 years ago
How about instead of consent we get an enthusiastic yes? Why the hell would you want to make love with someone who’s all “fine, ok then” it’s F****D UP. There’s nothing hotter than a person who’s dying to jump you. If you like rape-scenarios, there’s roleplay for that. Get help, perverts. Sorry, this has happened to me soooo many times and I’m sick of it.
LaToya Mack 4 years ago
Hold on are you telling me the man is responsible for her falling victim to manipulation? See emotional distress is still legal rape is the violation of your physical body. Now this is some generation not born in the 70s because I’m sorry baby he can’t talk to you at your drawls and be held responsible for you being stupid or intimidated. Do you not have a gun? Who raised you and where is your daddy?
Broski 2 years ago
If I threaten you in a dark street corner with nobody to help when I look clearly capable of beating the s**t out of you, and you give me your money, it is not *really* stealing. See, emotional distress is legal, stealing is to take something without consent, since you *gave* your money to me you consented thus this is completely fine. Now this is some generation not born in the 70s because i'm sorry baby I can't talk to you in a dark street and be responsible for you being stupid or intimidated. Do you not have a gun? You know you should be ready to kill every moment of your life! Who raised you and where's your daddy?
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#31
adiiantryx 4 years ago
please do not look at the misogynistic comment below for information, it is absolutely inaccurate for women are quite blatantly paid lesser for the same job, whatever crackpot justification they come up with next
Missy Moo Moo 4 years ago
Another butt hurt man complaining. Hilarious, do you think he takes no for an answer too?
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Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
My female cousin got a seasonal job at WalMart, no experience, cashier: $8/hr. Her brother, same store, same lack of experience, cashier: $8.50/hr. So, tell me again it's all BS. Do. And if you say it's b/c he got a college degree, how the f*ck does that matter in a cash register job?! SAME PAY FOR SAME WORK.
Joshua Rigrod 4 years ago
Am I the only one who read that this person got a college degree and got a measly $0.50 an hour raise from it? Oh yeah they're also male, so I bet if they still both had the same experience he would get that increase in money also.
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Rachael Sampson 4 years ago
Oh the irony of men complaining in this post on an article about the crap women have to deal with from men. Don't make me laugh.
Lioness Nature 4 years ago
It's 73 cents on the dollar for White women. But it's actually 63 cents on the dollar for Black women and other women of color. Black males and other males of color get 83 cents on the dollar. White male dollar on the dollar and then some.
Voodoops_13 4 years ago
Workers haven't had as much power on their side in decades. Ladies, let's do some research, talk to fellow male coworkers, talk to others online. Then...ask for a raise, explain why you deserve it (and yes "because a man makes this amount for the same work/experience" is okay). Make your employer explain any wage disparity and if they won't work with you on this, take your beautiful, knowledgeable, fully capable fine-ass self somewhere willing to pay you what you're worth!!
Mazer 4 years ago
This may result in being the fastest way to lose your job.
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Marco Conti 4 years ago
Knowing the kind of people that hold gender reveal parties, it's going to be a wallet with $1 worth of military grade explosive against one with only $0.72 worth. Either way, your missing fingers will be brightly colored.
J. F. 4 years ago (edited)
Did the statistic got updated or is it still only the average income considered without looking at work field, work time and several other things? (Honest question)
Samantha Lomb 4 years ago
In some cases its literally women working the same job at the same institution being paid less than male colleagues. And its NOT small amounts of money either. "The University of Oregon announced Friday it will pay $450,000 to settle a suit brought by a psychology professor, just four months after a federal appeals court resurrected her claim that the school failed to address a “glaring” pay gap between her and four male colleagues"https://www.oregonlive.com/education/2021/07/university-of-oregon-pays-350000-to-settle-professors-suit-alleging-gender-pay-gap.html, "Seven female law professors win $2.6 million settlement from DU in unequal pay lawsuit"-https://www.coloradoindependent.com/2018/05/17/du-equal-pay-lawsuit-gender-discrimination/
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Lauren Caswell 4 years ago
How many women here on BP have had a loud or 'controversial/equality based' opinion attacked, and then been personally attacked for it too? Accused of being xyz, or the age old deflection of "oh you, a woman, disagree with me, a man? You must be obsessed with me" 🙄 Just about every deflection just to avoid the point you try to make? I've got my hand up
Samantha Lomb 4 years ago
We had a stalker for a month or so. That was super fun.
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Roxy Eastland 4 years ago
I think this is probably true at quite a profound level, which I hadn't thought about before. Women speaking out in public make people feel uncomfortable, and so they lash out.
daniel280456 4 years ago
Also AOC: ''I was almost r.ped on Jan 6'' ''Republicans hate me because they want to date me''
Gina Babe 4 years ago
You know she's not likely reading your reply to her tweet on bored panda, right?
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#33
Vera1 4 years ago
I will say it again because this keeps coming up: men are not treated unfairly in custody battles. Men are less likely to be awarded custody because they chose not to want it and they chose not to take care of their children when married. In fact, when a men does want custody of their children, they are MORE likely to be awarded custody than women are. At least in the USA https://www.weinmanfamilylaw.com/blog/2020/06/are-the-courts-gender-biased-in-custody-cases/
Pisco 4 years ago
Exactly, this is a lie told by MRAs to attack mothers who were being proper parents unlike their mra exes. I know a woman working those cases, she used to ask the parents questions about the childs life like best friends name, name of the teacher, clothes sizes. She was sad because most of the time only the mother knew any of the answers. Which shows who was caring for the child.
Load More Replies... Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
Vasectomies can be reversed. More easily by far than tubal ligation in women. signed, I have a medical degree, and I didn't get it from Google
Lp Johnson 4 years ago
I agree with this, but will say it legit falls in the same lack of healthcare category for some.
Load More Replies... Aeon Flux 4 years ago
An addendum to the point about rape: If a man is raped by a woman, he's likely to be mocked and told that women can't rape men. If he's raped by a man, he may be pitied, but people also may question his sexuality, and, as they often do with women, wonder how he got himself in the situation where he was vulnerable.
Kelsey Hayes 4 years ago (edited)
They tested a birth control pill for men, and it worked fine, however it made the men in the test group "too emotional" so it wasn't approved.
Vicky Z 4 years ago
Considering that women died or were left with serious problems until we find good contraceptives,you can realise the difference!
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DannyGirl 4 years ago
Why is alimony a men’s issue? In my country alimony is paid by the higher earner wether they are male or female
Huddo's sister 4 years ago (edited)
We don't even have alimony in Australia. The non-custodial parent pays child support, but all other issues with money are organised by settlement. Usually this means either splitting assets equally or leaving the custodial parent with the house but the other parent receiving other assets.
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Corey Smith 4 years ago (edited)
Alimony is awarded to the lower-earning partner and is gender-neutral. It was established to enable a partner to be able to leave an abusive relationship and to remove the manipulation of "If you leave, you will be poor". Sure, it can be absurd when the couple is very rich and neither of these concerns are real. But it is a gender-neutral mechanism to empower the lower-earner and remove manipulative power from the higher-earner.
Madeleine Christiansen 1 year ago
Well bio. women are more likely to be raped than bio. men!!!
Lady of the Mountains 4 years ago
Especially the unfair custody battlesn i know lots of men who divorced crazy/abusuve wives and his kids went to her
Aeon Flux 4 years ago
You know "lots" of these men? How many are we talking about?
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Kishibe Angelo 4 years ago (edited)
i dont really see how this is patriarchy it's more of how bad buisness pay is getting. you work your ass off and they give you minimum wage or no raise
Kathryn Baylis 4 years ago
What, keeping us poor and dependent on them? You don’t see the patriarchy having a hand in that? Wow. Take the blinders off, please.
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Ozacoter 4 years ago (edited)
From all my young relatives and friends (40-20) only one could afford buying a house. Three others have a home because their parents/in laws could afford giving them a loan. The only one that can afford a baby is my 38yo cousin and only because his mum paid for the house. How are we supposed to have children? (Not that i want them)
Joshua Rigrod 4 years ago
Can you have children on a layaway plan? Asking for a friend. Hold on, just been told layaway doesn't exist anymore. Can you have children on pay as you go? Asking for a friend.
Load More Replies... Kimi Tomminello 4 years ago
I am the only person in my friend group that's under 60 and owns their own property. Of my friend group there's about 5 people over 60 with more than 3 properties. Of my friends under 60 only 3 out of 10 have their own apartments, 4 more are in roommate situations and 3 live at home with their parents. Me and 1 other, out of 10 under 60 have our student loans paid off. I am the only one that has managed to save enough to retire. Only 4 of us under 60 have children. To think anyone living under these conditions is expected to have children is ridiculous. Stop this madness!!
LaToya Mack 4 years ago
The poorest people on the entire planet all women if they have children it’s worse. That is why people are not having children they want to live and eat and not be a slave to the system because when you have children they own your ass. Companies make money on things that you think you are doing on the fly no nope your entire school system is on spring break right now everything is more expensive. You catching my drift. Is all the set up? If you do everything right you will definitely kill yourself before you’re 50. Go out and Liam be daring at 18 you might end up being Britney Spears
Gerard Neaux 4 years ago (edited)
Poor Britney. I'm glad they ended her status as slave to her father
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Lioness Nature 4 years ago
Lol. Of course we're talking about the US. Who else. Granted some countries are very poor and most things aren't affordable. But the US is just doing this on purpose out of capital greed. That's why Texas was the next state to pass the abortion law in September 1st 2021 by white Republican politicians. The white Americans are trying to rebuild the white population because it was declared in 2021 that Mexican, Latino, Hispanics are the dominant race in America. Despite deportation, ICE, and boarder control. They rather make abortion not an option than to pay people more and make things more affordable expecially food, housing, healthcare, education, and childcare. In Iceland they have 1 year PAID maternity and paternity leave and childcare is significantly affordable. And America was supposed to be the greatest country ever. Not at this rate.
Load More Replies... Frankenfrog 4 years ago
And also, a lot of them realise that you don't have to follow a certain template in life, you don't have to have children, you don't have to get married.
Kambia 4 years ago (edited)
All these are valid points and housing prices (at least in the UK) have soared over the last 50 years. The average house price is 65 times higher than in 1970 but average wages are only 36 times higher. Its not so much due to sexism though, many factors in developed worlds affect the number of babies that are born. More babies are surviving, fertility rates have dropped and it is thought that microplastics are damaging gametes. More women are in work and due to demand the childcare needed is being provided by private sectors, which means costs have sky-rocketed (again, as with house prices, not in line with wages). Education plays a big role too, women have more power to decide if they want children or not and have access to contraception. It is normal to see decline in birth rates in developed countries but pollution, the everyday economical strains witnessed by many and education play a large role. I don't think this has much to do with patriarchy though?
Phil Green 4 years ago
Look, there's not adequate maternity leave is true in the US. It is not true in Europe. Will you stop thinking that somehow 360 million people constitute the whole world?
Miss Cris 4 years ago
Europe isn't a unity in this issue. You cannot compare the Scandinavian countries and the South, for instance. Ask the PIGS. :(
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Rosie McLeod 4 years ago
I have children but had to return to working full time when my youngest baby was 6 months old, and we're renting so I suppose that counts as not being able to afford it
Mazer 4 years ago
“Millennials aren’t having babies” is a sweeping generalization (which I loathe) and is crap. Let’s straighten this out - Many WHITE American Millennials are choosing nt to have kids right now.
Frankenfrog 4 years ago
It's a global phenomena, not exclusive to America
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Caro Caro 4 years ago
I'm sorry, I hope this doesn't offend anybody here but I wasn't taught that and I can't imagine it's something that is being taught nowadays. At least, I hope not.
Helen Haley 4 years ago
We were taught to soften no. Usually with 'I'm sorry'. i'm sorry, I don't have time for that. I'm sorry, I have a boyfriend. etc etc.
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Got Myself 4 Dwarves 4 years ago
Saying "no" is a full sentence. We don't need to explain anything to anyone
Katiekat 4 years ago
And as a 53 year old woman (twice married, 25 years, happy the second time for 17 year), please trust me. The more you say it, the more powerful and happier you feel. The louder you say it, too, sometimes, the happier you feel. No is a complete sentence. Be mouthy, it's awesome. Five stars, highly recommend.
Nathan Pogorzala 4 years ago
F**k chicken s**t men if they can't handle an answer they don't want.
Donkey boi 4 years ago
My sisters were taught that it was completely acceptable to tell a man to 'F**k off' because 'most of the time you need to drive the message home'.
Jarrod Nichols 4 years ago
Cruel? Ha! Any of those would be the nicest way I've been turned down ever. There's an entire ocean of men who would need a signed affidavit. a power point presentation and a note from her mother saying it was ok before we would even hold a girl's hand. Stop generalizing all men together!
#37
Lilith the Demon Panda 4 years ago
nope, that's not historians who say that, that's filmmakers... historians actually claim the opposite - she wasn't physically pretty, she had other qualities
Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
Thank you! Coinage shows a profile that would go against the Greco-Roman beauty standards of that era, as well as our own. Film makes her Liz Taylor. Reality, not so much.
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Joshua Rigrod 4 years ago
Charismatic women who control a lot of power make me turned on also.
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Ozacoter 4 years ago
Cleopatra was greek so she was white. Please fighting racism with lies is just making things wrong.
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#38
Queen Strawberry 4 years ago
Why can't just once in awhile when there is a person who has no brain cells comments that I can't just give them a couple extra 200 or so downvotes?
Rosie Hamilton 4 years ago
Just downvote. Easier and doesn't clog up the comments with 'covering' comments.
Load More Replies... Aeon Flux 4 years ago
Why do you assume everyone else is wrong, and not you?
Load More Replies... Samantha Lomb 4 years ago
It triggered your incel ass. Must be great then
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#39
Kathryn Baylis 4 years ago (edited)
Distracting us with bullshit to take our attention off how they’re f*****g us over. They need both calling out and hard consequences for their offenses against us.
J. F. 4 years ago (edited)
Let me guess, from the USA? No problem in most european countries. And yes, capitalism provides the freedom of choice, we germans have quite the visible contrast in our history between the Federal Republic of Germany and the German "Democratic" Republic from the the late 40'S to the 90's
Nikki Sevven 4 years ago
You couldn't pry me from the brands I currently use, not because I'm brand loyal, but because I have neither the time nor the inclination to research the other 62 brands available, and I lack the infinite funding required to guess and be wrong 61 times.
Nubis Knight 4 years ago
"Capitalism" in US... Check out how it works in Scandinavia, Germany, many other countries to understand it's not capitalism that suppresses you but lobbyism. It's the same as in communism, you remember "all animals are equal but some are more equal than others". Lobbyism is the Real Pest. Sadly US voting System roots in lobbyism too...
Guy MacGregor 4 years ago
I am in Sweden and I have no idea what you are talking about. We have very strong socialists models. ("socialist" as socialism, not communism, which are 2 different things even if some people tend to think it's a synonym.)
Load More Replies... Joshua Rigrod 4 years ago
In the United States, most health insurance is tied to the employer. While certain States in a country or you would call them provinces in the country, are trying to get where you can set up your own health insurance that you have to pay for, we still do not have a government free sponsored single-payer healthcare system in this country of the United States of America.
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Gerard Neaux 4 years ago
Insecurity 101: you're not a fan, *I* am faner fan than you
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Scarlett 4 years ago
Reminds me of the time some guy stopped me on the street and demanded I name three songs of the band that was on my tee-shirt that weren’t their most popular ones. I did and then kept listing songs. He walked away.
LRevello 4 years ago
Tell him you think it's the name of a clothing company & you have several t-shirts from that clothing company. Insist on this and slowly watch him lose his s**t.
Load More Replies... Joshua Rigrod 4 years ago
That's not true. Let me mansplain why. Just kidding! Good point seriously.
redties_and_blackparades 4 years ago
DID YOU WATCH DEMON SLAYER? yes i did. OKAY WHAT HAPPENED IN EPISODE 19- LEAVE ME ALONE S**T
Lp Johnson 4 years ago
My S/O does this, even WHILE we're playing/watching/doing something TOGETHER! His way of proving he's as "educated" about something as I am about the things I went to school for and have learned along the way.
Rachael Sampson 4 years ago
Please tell me that you tell him off every single time?! What is wrong with him?
Load More Replies... Huddo's sister 4 years ago
So glad I haven't had this happen to me. Quite the opposite. I was into sci fi and my male friend was too. We had long conversations about Dr Who and Torchwood. He kept telling me to watch Firefly because he knew I would love it, but I didn't have access to it and I didn't want to illegally download it (late 200s and also computer was probably not up to it anyway). Then I finally did see it and it was amazing and I wished I had seen it sooner! Not really where this thread was going but thought I would share something positive :)
Donkey boi 4 years ago
I've listened to classical music for around 15 years, but my knowledge remains at bottom level, I can name my favourite 2 pieces by title, but not the composers. My third favourite piece is the one that goes, dah da dun da-daun du dun, dah da da da, Da dun... Doesn't make me any less of a fan of classical music.
Frozengeckolover 4 years ago
Haha! I also love classical music, but I can't always remember the names of the pieces. My husband does, though. Sometimes I'll hum a piece for him, so he can tell me what it is, so I can load it on my playlist. Lol.
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Samantha Lomb 4 years ago
Its not hard to remember what a person wants to be called. Its just basic respect, which is of course why the transphobes consistently deadname.
Kimi Tomminello 4 years ago
I'll be honest, I have a non binary kiddo that I've known for 10 years come out a year and a half ago and I still slip up every once in a while. I never mean to but when you get older and into the habit of calling somebody something for a decade some of us may slip up. To be fair I have equal difficulty remembering Mrs. vs Miss along with last name changes. On the flip side my daughters girlfriend is transgender and I have completely forgotten her deadname so I'm not sure where my brain fart is lol
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Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
I have slipped up a few times, I immediately apologized for the error, and I felt horrible for hours afterwards. Names are identifiers. If someone named Robert can prefer Bob, then someone named Robert can also prefer Elaine.
Anna Banana 4 years ago
Exactly! And I also happen to think that calling someone Robert when they've told you they prefer Bob is shitty and takes away (a part of) their dignity. But slip-ups happen and I don't think anyone would get angry if you make a mistake once in a while.
Load More Replies... Pisco 4 years ago
Even if you would not agree with the name changing (trans or cis) it is the bare minimum to respect the decision. Lets say that I give my daughter a name that is important to me (my grans) and later she chabges it. It might hurt me but it would be horrible to not call her by her new name, no matter the reason why they changed it.
Kamiru 4 years ago
thank you so much T T you are a good person (or a normal person but the only one, idk I would consider being good to be normal) Love🧡 thank you
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Bianca Saville 4 years ago
Sometimes we get things wrong. I called my granddaughter by the cat's name yesterday and I have accidentally dead named somebody a while back. We just need to apologise and try our best. I genuinely don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.
debrina blackmoon 4 years ago
Yeah, I switch my daughters' and cats'(both girls) names frequently!
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Snorkeldorf 4 years ago (edited)
My child is transgender. Given name is gender neutral so, to date, it has remained her given name. Sometimes I would slip up and say he when talking about her to someone else or reminiscing about something from her childhood. I used to apologize and she told me "Mom, don't apologize, just correct yourself." That made it much easier. Without the guilt trip that she NEVER placed on me for an incorrect pronoun, it became natural to say she/her/they and I realized that I didn't have to think about it anymore.
Alex Boomhower 4 years ago
this really speaks to be having changed my name, as well as coming out as non-binary. I've found out people who I've known my whole life tell me ill always be a girl
Samantha Lomb 4 years ago
I guess you know who you need to cut out. It sucks but toxic people constantly undermining you aren't worth having around.
Load More Replies... Demi Zwaan 4 years ago
People who do this don't need to reflect on why, they know they do it to hurt the person because they're transphobes. They simply do it on purpose. I also sometimes mistakenly use the deadname of acquaintances, because I've know them by that name my whole life, but I immediately realise the error and apologize. Even if it's too hard to remember, you make a genuine effort and apologize if you slip up! After a while you won't slip up anymore.
#42
Kathryn Baylis 4 years ago
Precisely. And taking it all at face value is the safest option. If they’re lying, it’ll come out, and when they do they’ll be very clear about it.
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Chrystal Tips 4 years ago
I completely agree, and it is the only one (so far) where I think that everybody (male, female, or otherwise) needs to learn to apply. Too many women think that playing hard to get, or making men work for it, is a good thing when it just confuses the issue and gives the worst kind of men an excuse to 'misinterpret' things.
Anna Banana 4 years ago
Just assume that everything in between means "no" and if you're wrong then I'm sure she'll happily let you know.
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Ozacoter 4 years ago
And that is vest case scenario. Worst case they refuse to do chores even if you distrubute them but then whine because "women are nags".
H Edwards 4 years ago
That's the worst part, getting told to stop nagging. I just want help! I'm exhausted and stressed and my home always feels messy. That's over now, thankfully, but I learned that lesson the hard way. Some men were brought up to believe that it's just not their job. Either leave them or learn to live with it because it's almost impossible to make them change.
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Sarcastic Cow 4 years ago (edited)
This! Household management can be very exhausting - and if you both go work, you also both have to keep your house clean, without one of the pair being a warden.
Vicky Z 4 years ago
Exactly! Last year my boyfriend lost his job and he did EVERYTHING in the house!! We used to share but he thought that i was working 10 hours a day with one day off per week so the logical thing would be to step up! And what bothers me is that i was feeling bad but then i thought that i would totally do EVERYTHING if he was working and i was at home! Now we both work and we share the chores of course!
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Harri Ellis 4 years ago
I mowed the yard and my husband sat in a chair with a beer to watch me. He was also doing the laundry! I hate doing laundry!
Philly Bob Squires 4 years ago
I wash, cook, clean, sew and iron better than most women I know! LOL. Maybe I'll make a great wife someday??
Jarrod Nichols 4 years ago
How is this still a problem today? Housework is everyone's responsibility.
Marco Conti 4 years ago
In my case, I have to do all the housework because my wife is physically unable to. Before the car accident that screwed up her back, we divided it based on need and ability. Apparently I sucked at washing floors, but now "repetita juvant", or practice makes perfect.
Frozengeckolover 4 years ago
My husband sucks at doing laundry. I told him to keep trying, until he broke the washer... twice. He's not allowed to touch the washer now.
Load More Replies... Demi Zwaan 4 years ago
It kind of depends on why they expect that. My husband has autism and ADHD, so he just doesn't realise what stuff needs to be done. If I ask him to do something, he does it without hesitation or complaints.
Becky Samuel 4 years ago
I have autism and AHDH but I don't live in a pigsty because I take responsibility for my own life. Why do men get a pass?
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Lp Johnson 4 years ago
I don't know Any women who didn't receive similar comments at LEAST once before 18 years old. Usually before 14.
Load More Replies... XSpooky_Mint 4 years ago
That's so f****d up, imagine being an adult and feeling the need to say that to a 13-year-old????
Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
My uncle said this and I burst into tears, b/c I assumed I was doing it wrong. I was five? six? and it took my mom an hour to calm me down. That part I know b/c she never stops telling the story. I think she then ripped that uncle's head off and shoved it somewhere, b/c I don't remember seeing him much after that.
Vicky Z 4 years ago
5-6?????? What the actual hell!! Oh I'm so glad your mum stepped up!! What a disgusting piece of garbage!!
Load More Replies... Luna 4 years ago
If I had been her mom and heard that, I would have sat right in front of him and taken a big bite off my ice cream. 😌
v 4 years ago
A former coworker said at lunch one day "Old enough to bleed, old enough to breed.". I asked him if that applied to his 13 year old daughter as well. Nobody said a word for the last 10 or so minutes of lunch break and I never had to worry about him talking to me again.
Frozengeckolover 4 years ago
That's disturbing. What is wrong with people?
Load More Replies... ThatOneWriter 4 years ago
"Girls mature faster". No, adults heap this garbage on us at disgustingly young ages while our male cousins/friends/brothers don't have to deal with it. We weren't mature young. We were forced to grow up to protect ourselves.
#45
Dave 4 years ago (edited)
When I got soft any form of "No" and it was often, I thanked them for their time, wished her all the best and walked away. That was that. Rejection is part of life. Parents should have taught their kids, regardless of gender, how to gracefully accept rejection without feeling hurt about it. That being said, I have had women get offended too because I did not persist as if I should have known that their NO was their code for me to put in more effort, so they would feel desired and pursued because according to them, men are hunters and women are prey. Frankly, I find this type of thinking f****d up and it is all about their ego-tripping. No means no. Full stop.
Roxy Eastland 4 years ago
Absolutely. What we're hoping is guys like you are commenting to the men who think they need to keep trying or feel attacked and thus attack back. A simple 'c'mon, don't be *that* dude' from another man is very powerful compared to anything a woman could say.
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Eiram 4 years ago
A friend of mine was forced I to sex with her father -in-law because as a small woman with a free attitude about sex, she had been attacked for saying No in the past and had to "give in". He beat her all over her body, and raped her. Then when she got pregnant (thankfully DNA proved it was her husbands) she found out the baby had Downs and two months before it was due, her mother-in-law found out and disowned them but could not leave her husband because they were Morman. The stress caused her to go into preterm labor and she gave birth two weeks early. Baby survived, and I told my friend not to worry about her MIL, because the future could bring her back around after she sees her beautiful grandaughter.
Jarrod Nichols 4 years ago
I posted it earlier. There's an entire ocean of men who would need a signed affidavit, a power point presentation and a note from your mother before we would try anything. Stop generalizing us!
Huddo's sister 4 years ago
This particular post isn't generalizing. It is talking about a specific situation- if you are in this situation and hear a soft yes, then it is really a no. There are plenty of opportunities in this article to cry about generalizations, but this is not one of them.
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Annalyn Oberholtzer 3 years ago
I had to argue with a guy about why soft nose are more common, and typically safer for women to give than hard-nosed. He felt that the hard no prevented confusion and further pressure from the guy. I told him he's never been a woman.
RedMarbles 4 years ago
Well, the soft no's are because of fear of violence, as they mentioned in the post. If you're saying men can't be both stereotypically smart and dumb, I think there are simply differing opinions from different people. And to be clear, no one should be stereotyping entire groups of people. It's not only unfair, but it's always going to be inaccurate.
Load More Replies... Becky Samuel 4 years ago
"Some magical reason". Don't make me laugh. Unless you've had someone bar choke you against a wall and insert their fingers into you hard enough to make you bleed for daring to give a 'hard no'. If you haven't, I have a few volunteers.
Load More Replies... #46
Rachael Sampson 4 years ago
It's so funny when men say that, and yet they conveniently forget that there are many different sports teams of women all over the world.
redties_and_blackparades 4 years ago
I honestLY HATE PEOPLE LIKE THIS (and i mean people in general) :(
Nubis Knight 4 years ago
Counter: Name the last three coaches from any female soccer Team. Or name the last female swimmer that won a gold medal for your country... This game can be played both ways. Why they think only male sports count?
#47
Ozacoter 4 years ago
This is extremely important. I have always considered myself an open minded person and I had disabled friends and family in the past. And I am embarrassed now that I am disabled of how many things I missed when it comes to accessibility. Yes, that metro might look like its almost flat and accessible but its too hight for my disabled scooter. That elevator is amazing but its too small for most disability aids. That street has 1 place where you can drive a wheelchair to cross so you need to do the most stupid detours to cross it. Any city planner should be forced to use a wheelchair or other disability aids for a couple of weeks in order to truly understand how not accessible cities are.
Izzy Curer 4 years ago
Just popping my knee for a week gave me a new appreciation for not having to scoot around stores. How do you reach things on the higher shelves?
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Cara Strong 3 years ago
Think of it this way. Everyone can walk or roll down a ramp, but those in wheelchairs cannot walk up and down stairs
Jacob Nunez 4 years ago
I dont know what any of this means but ill see myself out of this conversation.
Aamna Shah 4 years ago (edited)
It means Hindus follow a caste system that has thousands of castes. Entire family trees are traced by caste. If you're upper caste, you have many societal privileges but what's worse is for those who belong from the lowest caste, the Dalits. They're literally called untouchables. There are some who're considered too impure to touch. Some who are relegated to cleaning other people's s**t because of being born within the inferior caste. Dalit women are almost routinely raped and hung on trees by upper caste men. Unfortunately, Gandhi himself supported the caste system and tried to romanticize it. However, it's a hell of a lot precise and racist for something that doesn't get talked about much. If you read Isabel Wilkerson's book 'Caste' which is extremely well researched and well written, she shows how Hitler himself sought inspiration for his racist model from foreign countries like the US and India.
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Zenyp 4 years ago
to be honest I disagree with the first one. I know that for a fact this doesn't always apply. To be honest, people who are upper caste today in India don't get special treatment. In some colleges, there are even reserved seats for members of a lower caste. Sure, the past was bad, but it's changing.
#48
Izzy Curer 4 years ago (edited)
This is an over-generalization and not necessarily true. People change all the time. Anyone can change. Even different life-circumstances can make a person change on accident without the person really doing any work on themselves. Imagine if the person actually tried. The real decider is if they want to.
Pisco 4 years ago
People can change but you should not expect them to do it. Never date a person expecting them to change.
Load More Replies... Kishibe Angelo 4 years ago
i don't like this she is saying men can't change i have been through many changes in my life i have been depressed to finding happiness. i have been cheated and hated everyone but now im gaining trust in people and being more mature because i found the right one.we make eachother laugh and smile
Jarrod Nichols 4 years ago
As with all generalizations, there are not 100% trust your own instincts and don't listen to random idiots on the internet. Including me.
Soyexfox 4 years ago
everyone in the world has there own red flags, red flags they find in other people, red flags people see in them. surly people understand that no ones perfect. i sure as hell aint and neither is my forever man. he pisses me off and i piss him off, surly thats life and thats love or am i missing the point here.
Vicky Z 4 years ago
You are missing the point in the entire post so what's one more?
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Huddo's sister 4 years ago
The whole- she is playing with her hair so she wants to do you etc...
#50
Ozacoter 4 years ago
I am sorry but this one is wrong. It is ok to fight inequalities and to be angry about them. But there is a fine line between that and giving in hate, considering everybody else your enemy. As a migrant and disabled I know very well how tempting that is. But I wont convince the xenophobes around me that I am a decent person by irrationally hating all people from this country. Or all able bodied people.
Lp Johnson 4 years ago
NO. The point is that the ABUSER u-s-e-s accusations of "don't be hateful!" and, "you can't fight MY ABUSE by being "abusive" to ME by FIGHTING BACK and not LETTING me abuse YOU anymore!" THAT IS WHAT MURICA IS TELLING US. It's also equally bad when we're told by those who HAVEN'T been subject to what we STILL experience, that THEY haven't experienced it, so OUR experience is somehow NOT valid. Our anger and desire to MAKE it stop is some how "hateful"?!
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Truth Monster 4 years ago
Fighting hate with hate means you are the same kind of bigot you hate for being a bigot. Its okay to be angry at mistreatment, but hate just perpetuates the cycle.
Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
Being angry at a behavior is rational. Hating those who behave that way... is, sadly, easier.
XSpooky_Mint 4 years ago
People who tell you not to fight hate with hate are more than likely people who are hating
Frozengeckolover 4 years ago
Being angry about injustices that you have suffered, and hating everyone in a certain group are two very different things. Fighting hate with hate creates more victims, and further victimizes you.
#51
Frozengeckolover 4 years ago
So... all the comments I've seen about abolishing genders are, in fact, not about their rights. Because I like my gender, and I don't want my rights to my gender taken away. I want everyone to be themselves; I don't care who you are, or what's between your legs. But I'm sure to get downvoted because they will claim, "That's not the same thing".
M O'Connell 4 years ago
Dillon, Rights are personal. They grant you the ability to live as you wish. Exercising your personal rights should have no effect on other people. If they do, then you're doing it wrong.
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Ozacoter 4 years ago
And teach women and doctors about the huge risks of pregnancy and how to detect them. A friend of mine recently lost her baby because she had complications and she went two times to the doctor to be told that she was overreacting and nothing was worng. The thrid time she went to the ER and her baby had died. Her placenta was terribly bad, her hormones too and they could have seen it with an eco and a blood test. Now she risks permanent demage and chronic pain and lost her baby because of their negligence
Miss Marmite 4 years ago
i remember asking my dad if he wanted to be called “grandad” or “grandpa”. he said grandad, but then turned to me and said “but you said you don’t want children. i said “yeah but [brother] or [sister] might” he replied with “mhm they’ll make me proud” wth dad?!
Soyexfox 4 years ago
teach a girl to choose what ever she wants she might not want children today tommorow she might have ten, who the hell is it up to apart from the girl, and hopefully the guy gets some sort of say too. as long as people are safe then its up to them if they do or dont have kids, and if she does want kids its not up to anyone apart from her, no one should tell her shes a slave to a family a mere incubator . have kids good luck to you dont have kids good luck to you, no hate on either side.
Rosie McLeod 4 years ago
It's also ok to want kids and be a mother. I think we can't win because mum's are often portrayed as idiots. I've had lots of judgement thrown my way for having kids, like progressive women don't have kids or some rubbish. Women can't win no matter what we do.
Jacob Nunez 4 years ago
This is true just dont be give birth at like 60 and up I’ve heard that it can be threatening to your life. But do what you want im busy.
#53
eeeeeeeee 4 years ago
Do men not just plug the number into their phone and instantly call you so "you have their number too"? Or take the number and keep chatting away, flirting harder now they have your number and implicit approval? I always wanted to use the fake number thing but couldn't see how it would work.
𝖊𝖆 4 years ago
A guy did this to me once, I kept saying no and he kept insisting I give him my number. I couldn’t leave and had no where to go, so gave him a fake one. He then said let me text you so I know you’ve got mine, and did. Obviously I didn’t get the message. Said something like oh sorry that’s my old one. I said again i’m not comfortable giving you my number and he kept on insisting. So eventually I did give him my number, he called me and texted me in front of me. And when I was eventually able to leave later that night I blocked his number. It’s scary in the moment when you are saying no and they won’t accept it. You panic thinking if you keep saying no they might retaliate or hurt you. He was a much older man, married, with kids, it was so creepy!
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Roxy Eastland 4 years ago
Honestly, this is getting too much. Why on earth can't women say something like 'you're very sweet, but I'm not the girl for you'? I'm okay with a man being turned down politely, but the fact that women have to give them a number to escape the interaction is too much.
Pisco 4 years ago
Because we know by experience that many men react in a violent way if rejected.
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#54
Cecily Holland 4 years ago
It’s difficult when you have no money, no income, nowhere to go, your family and friends have been chased off and your every move is watched
Roxy Eastland 4 years ago
And your self-worth has been systematically destroyed.
Load More Replies... Ozacoter 4 years ago
It is impossible if you are poor, disabled or a migrant. I have a great partner but as a disabled migrant I will be kicked out of belgium back to spain (all inside the eu where we are supposed to be free to travel) in three months if he ever breaks up with me. I will never have the nationality or proper rights because I am ill so I cannot work, I am considered a burden to the country. I am lucky to have a good partner but many women dont. And cannot afford breaking up with lousy spouses or abusers because they will become homeless or be deported.
Demi Zwaan 4 years ago
That's not true. You can get a visa and then permanent status even when you're so disabled that you can't work.
Load More Replies... Frozengeckolover 4 years ago
I've been homeless to get away from an abusive partner. Someone called me "brave" for that. Nope! That wasn't brave; that was reckless, and dangerous.
Mamabear76 4 years ago
Took me 20yrs and help from child protective services to escape my ex husband.
Luna 4 years ago
Domestic abuse survivor here. I'm not going to dwell on the topic because, even after all these years, just reading this and comments was enough to trigger my PTSD and anxiety and bring me to tears. All I'd like to contribute is this: just like for mental health, domestic abuse is still a huge taboo. Awareness is the key to help recognize the patterns, to help the people on the receiving end of the abuse to fall into the abyss of solitude and despair. Sadly, staying in such relationships will most likely result in the perish of a life and when children are involved, in a lifetime of recovery. Don't allow a family member, friend or loved one to isolate, check on them, show up, be that glimmer of hope; they will eventually confide in you. ❤️
Mx. Croteau 4 years ago
two of the biggest triggers of domestic homicide are pregnancy and leaving, either the threat of leaving or actually doing so. there have been so many cases of people leaving abusive relationships only to be stalked, harassed, assaulted, or worse. do not berate anyone for staying in abuse, bc often they may see the alternative as even worse.
Kamiru 4 years ago
so !! these women are staying with their husbands for their money! that's just how it was from the beginning so each of them take adventage of the other || just because she.. doesn't want to get a job? she'd rather rely on a man an abuser than WORK !!!! I'm sorry but I'm gonna have to hate that!! : she can leave! whenever she wants! SHE'S EVEN ENCOURAGED BY SOCIETY TO !!!!! As someone being abused by their FATHER ; who, therefore, CANNOT(but for real this time) LEAVE or just be brought back by society(the police) if I do ; I'm gonna have to hate that women,these women for staying when THEY can leave for staying and complaining, complaining about getting money and shelter from the guy they've DECIDED to be with and stay with !!!!!!!!!
Frozengeckolover 4 years ago
I'm sorry you are being abused by your father. I hope you find someone to confide in who can help you. As for saying that abused women can just leave: You have no idea what you are talking about. I hope you are never in that situation, but it could happen to you. You might think you will never put up with an abusive partner, that you will never marry someone who would mistreat you, but you cannot predict the future. Not every woman marries for money. Not every woman stays with an abuser for money. When my ex abused me, I was the only one working, and I still found it difficult to leave. Until you recover from your ignorance, kindly stfu.
Load More Replies... Dillon Hughes 4 years ago
This is not a sex specific issue. You can still get out. Get a job meet people and in a few months you will be able to. Or just shoot them, the law with toss it out as a crime of passion. Espically if your a black lesibain female!
#55
El muerto 4 years ago
is totally true. only the last couple of decades have things like textiles and embroidery being taking more seriously...but this is also because many non-western and other cultural elements weren't consider relevant until a few decades ago...the fun fact, is that women where more involve in art than we usually think, but only "the great male creators" got recognition
Otter 4 years ago
Well, also because embroidery and textile arts don't last as long as sculpture, or pyramids. The longer a medium lasts, the more seriously it's taken by art historians!
Samantha Lomb 4 years ago
Just out of curiosity what do you think people found in the Pharaohs' tombs? Textiles, unless other people stole them ( along with the mummy to either eat, burn as fire wood or turn into paint pigments).
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#56
#57
Samantha Lomb 4 years ago
MRA people are some of the most abusive vile people I have ever met.
David Butler 4 years ago
Yes. I got into a "debate" with one, and they genuinely believe that what women mean by #AllMen is the very basis of masculinity; "boys will be boys" is #AllMen as a compliment. That men can be separated into Chads-Who-Can ("Alphas") and Chads-Who-Can't ("Betas"). That women are a second-class species; male is human, female is animal. Gender-narcissism.
Load More Replies... bob bruce 4 years ago
The world is full of people who think that giving other people equal rights somehow means they have less rights. Thus this shirt: redirect-1...x600-1.jpg 
Lulu Lemons 4 years ago
I feel like MRA could be such a good thing if focused on important stuff such as stopping emotional repression
#58
BusLady 4 years ago
My 2 cats are my kids. And I have a large extended family I am very grateful for. 🥰
Bean 4 years ago
Why do you care if a couple of people call their plants family? It might be all they have aside from each other
Load More Replies... #59
adiiantryx 4 years ago
mental illnesses are just as bad, if not worse, as physical ones, and should be counted such as well
#60
Otter 4 years ago
Oh GAWD! I once had a supervisor who was the living embodiment of toxic positivity! She was like "If we're all positive and smile and cheer each other on, this bad idea will work!", instead of "If we're positive, we can think of an idea that will work!". How do such people exist in this world.
Ozacoter 4 years ago
And sadly it happens too often during therapy. My three ex therapists just wanted me to stop saying unconveient things and teach me how to rpetend to be fine. That's not therapy, that's just makeup to hide the pain.
Otter 4 years ago
Pretending to be fine is a valuable life skill, one with many useful applications... outside the therapist's office. Therapy should be the one place where you never have to pretend or put on a damn thing! I mean a good therapist might devote a bit of time to discussing when it might be appropriate to pretend everything is fine, like in job interviews, but the primary focus of therapy should be, of course, the pain.
Load More Replies... Frozengeckolover 4 years ago
This is what makes people start joking about their own mental issues. I was part of a group therapy that did the forced positivity thing. When we were talking about what we struggled with that week, I said, "Ive been having nightmares again, about the time I was tied up, tortured, and interrogated for hours." ... After a moment of awkward silence, the moderator stuttered, "Now, turn it into a, um, positive." ... I responded, "Well, I figured out that bondage isn't one of my kinks. 'Cause that didn't turn me on at all!"
Izzy Curer 4 years ago
This isn't always, always 100% true... at least in a non-workforce setting. Sometimes people really do care, they just don't know what else to do. Sometimes they want you to be okay so hard they wish they could reach inside of you and somehow make it better even when they know they can't. They're trying.
Otter 4 years ago
And sometimes, they just want you to stop being unhappy, because it's making them unhappy in turn. They don't care about the cause of the unhappiness, they just want the expression of it to stop. Sometimes that's because people are indifferent to your feelings, which is a fact of life, but sometimes it's because you're reminding them of their own carefully hidden unhappiness and they find your expression of unhappiness threatening.
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Kamiru 4 years ago
but; my parent says it all the time not even if I do something bad mind you
Josy Bannon 4 years ago
True. Goes for any toxic relationship between humans of any gender or age though.
Frozengeckolover 4 years ago
While I do agree that this is an a-hole move, I did say that to a boyfriend once. I had helped him through some tough times, then he tried to seduce my mom after my dad's funeral. I kicked him out, and he complained because I wouldn't keep paying for his car insurance. I was pretty mad. I didn't feel like he owed me anything for helping him, but his actions made me regret helping him.
#62
Aroace tiger (any pronouns) 4 years ago
But of course sexual relationships are worth more than platonic -_-
Gerard Neaux 4 years ago
Yeah exactly. Everything is sexualized to death.
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Aahzmandus Pervect 4 years ago
What if you have romantic feelings for your friend? Everyone makes it sound like people getting friendzoned are exclusively sexual predators.
Frozengeckolover 4 years ago
Ok. Just a couple of things: If you are not acting like you are friends with a girl just to f*ck her, then this post is not about you. If you are only friends with a girl because you have romantic feelings for her, and you are hoping to weasel your way in there by pretending to be her friend, then that's still bad. Regardless of your intentions, it is wrong to deceive someone into thinking you are their friend for your own motives.
Load More Replies... Jacob Nunez 4 years ago
I mean when im friend zoned it hurts more because i feel more romantic feelings then sexual but that is just me…..i think
Candy corn 4 years ago
It’s okay to be hurt if your feelings for someone else aren’t requited. It’s not okay to be bitter or angry towards someone who considers you a friend because of that. Just a warning bc you seem like a decent guy and I wouldn’t want you to go down that road
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Helenium 4 years ago
yeah i always hear my dads voice, you could do more, could be better or my favourite half a job Helen
Frozengeckolover 4 years ago
Same! Also, when I mess up , I hear him saying, " I knew you would fail."
Load More Replies... M O'Connell 4 years ago
Nobody said it was inherited genetically. We are often the product of the environment we were raised in.
Load More Replies... #64
eeeeeeeee 4 years ago (edited)
Does anyone know any books/movies that contain a number of these? I'd love to expand my collection with better representation of women. updated - Thank you!! I will look into all of these!
Izzy Curer 4 years ago (edited)
If you like non-fiction: A Scandalous Life, My Journey to Lhasa, Desert Queen (Gertrude Bell). If you like vaguely fiction: The Little House Series. If you like fiction: Uglies series, Wondla series, Green Gables series. Be forwarned, most of these (except the non-fiction) are Y/A. That's what I read because they're happier than adult books. I'm 40.
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Mx. Croteau 4 years ago
will note that the bechdel test was not originally invented just for feminist purposes, but bc bechdel is a lesbian and lesbian/wlw stories are so underrepresented that most films don't even feature women platonically talking about something other than a man, much less developing romantic feelings for anyone other than a man.
J. F. 4 years ago (edited)
The "Anti-Frezze" can be very counterproductive for story telling. Having a female relative or soul mate threatened in any way can be a motivator for a protagonist (male or female) to act. The last point also gets massive missunderstood nowadays, because most of the "empowered" women adapt to underdeveloped maculinity to display strength. (Amateur writers in the western industry love that)
K Witmer 4 years ago
I love thrillers and mystery movies but I have to google them before I watch them to make sure there isn't a rape scene. Alot of them have some kind of sexually violent scene. I'm so tired of it. There doesn't need to be these scenes at all. The scenes are always titillating for men too. It's disgusting. I watched the nightingale the other night and I forgot to look it up first. 10 minutes into it I knew what was coming. I looked it up and of course there were multiple graphic rape scenes. I watched the queens gambit through one eye during the parts where she was vulnerable waiting for the inevitable sexual violence. I was so shocked that never happened and the whole show it showed her being treated w respect by all the men in it, it was so refreshing and such a great show.
Bob Bobbs 4 years ago
The site ' doesthedogdies.com ' is good to check for any triggering material in movies and tv shows.
Load More Replies... El muerto 4 years ago
funny paradox. if you watch anime, you will find all of this types of characters, lots of strong (in their own right) characters. but on the other side, they are also heavily sexualice...in western media, there is only one type of strong female characters and they are also heavily sexualised.
J. F. 4 years ago
I would say that manga and anime have more strong women than any western "feminism" content. They don't have to sacrifice their feminine features to be strong, in contrast to the western idea to make women more masculine to display strength.
Load More Replies... #65
Aahzmandus Pervect 4 years ago
This makes it sound like a conspiracy involving ALL men and blaming men for existence of violence.
Frozengeckolover 4 years ago
It kind of does sound that way, but it's more about the domino effect.
Load More Replies... Dillon Hughes 4 years ago
Said no one ever. What you think because I'm not a murder I think I'm gods gift!? Stupid
#66
Frances M 4 years ago
I don’t know about this one, Hitler was so bad that his siblings consciously decided not to have kids just to make sure his genes couldn’t live on.
bi mermaid (she/her/hers) 2 years ago
Huh, interesting-I will look into that!
Load More Replies... Jacob Nunez 4 years ago
I mean im pretty sure it goes both ways but personally i have never heard condolences for Stalin and the like………..people please inform me
Hugh Cookson 4 years ago (edited)
Sadly, there is still a large proportion of the population in parts of Russia, particularly in Georgia / Ukraine who think that the times under Stalin were a sort of utopia ....... brainwashed, ignorant and blinkered ; Putin still has time to wreak the same sort of idiocy....
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#67
Enea 4 years ago
That's what I keep thinking when I read those stories about people raising money for others' health treatments: I give 17% of my monthly salary to a health insurance system. I am young and healthy and don't need health services worth 17% of my salary, so the money is used to treat others who need it. Should I ever develop a serious illness and require long-term treatment (which is likely as I age) I will receive these services, even if they surpass my net payments. It is not only a compassionate system but an example of a functioning society(and generational contract) in the best sense.
Ozacoter 4 years ago
You would be surprised. Those systems more often than not abandon you when you are too ill to work and be seen as functional. I have paid really high taxes all my life in spain, belgium, netherlands and germany and my partner as well. But now that I am disabled neither of us gets a cent, advice, disability cards for parking or any other support. And this is in Belgium, a country supposedly very social.
Load More Replies... Frozengeckolover 4 years ago
Nah. I refuse to trust people, in general, that much. I barely trust the people who are close to me, no way am I going to trust an entire system. A quick glance through a history book will tell you that any social system can be abused.
Gerard Neaux 4 years ago (edited)
Generalized distrust without cause is an issue. Even distrust caused by trauma is an issue. Unless your distrust of your close ones is justified, in which case you should try to cut the ties and heal, then you need to work on yourself to become normally integrated into society. "I refuse to trust even close people" is a sign of pathology, either a personality disorder, or an attachment style issue, both of which are caused by trauma. When you can't get along with anyone, you might be the cause. If there is an issue you haven't worked on, also refrain from giving advice to others as it may be harmful to them. Read on attachment styles and personally disorders characteristics (schizoid, antisocial, paranoid), and adult trauma (PTSD, CPTSD). Learn and identify your assumptions, learn the patterns that keep you trapped in the past, get rid of harmful people and work to heal. It's not your fault, but it's your responsibility.
Load More Replies... #68
Samantha Lomb 4 years ago
Well Frost would have approved of her choice even if he would have been dismissive of the reason. He hated the interpretation that taking the less traveled road was a good idea,
Laugh or not 4 years ago
To be fair, there is usually a very good reason for a road to be used more than another.
Load More Replies... Izzy Curer 4 years ago (edited)
Fun fact: Frost wrote the original poem about his friend, who he liked to go on walks with. The friend would always pick the path, and then later he would regret not going some other way, so Frost wrote it to poke gentle fun at him. He wasn't saying that either path was better than the other, actually he was saying it didn't matter, both paths were of equally good merit.
Jacob Nunez 4 years ago
I was going to write something and then my Brian clicked and understood what she said…….and then i softly said “damn”
#69
Frozengeckolover 4 years ago
I have successfully done nothing for the last two days. I feel a little guilty; I should have at least done laundry, but I'm not going to beat myself up about it.
Lp Johnson 4 years ago
Again, WHO is in CHARGE of most societies world wide? I'll wait.
Load More Replies... Frozengeckolover 4 years ago
Barely. Work brings money, which pays for basic needs and wants; which is contentedness, if nothing else. Chores bring a healthy living space, which is a necessity, but that's also a basic need.
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#70
Sleazy Weaver 4 years ago (edited)
Not to be that guy, but... As a trans dude, when I was perceived as a girl, I was always told that as a girl I had to stand up for myself because people would want to take advantage of me. I was told I would have support & help if anything bad ever happened to me. But after I transitioned & people started seeing me as a boy, I was never offered any of that help again because people forget boys can be victims of abuse too. People forget that boys need support & help as well. Boys are expected to accept being treated badly in silence as well & it isn't addressed the way it is for girls, & I'm sorry if I get downvoted for this, but it's important to point out that this isn't actually a double-standard; or maybe it is, but the other way around. EVERYONE deserves encouragement to fight against abuse & EVERYONE deserves validation in their experience, regardless of gender, but people get so focused on the gender perceived to be neglected that they neglect another even more. I hate that it's a gendered issue at all, when the real issue is abuse, mental health, & victim advocating.
Samantha Lomb 4 years ago
When you were a girl did you actually get help and support though or was it just empty words? I find as a woman online for example I get a lot of abuse and companies like facebook, etc say they care about stopping it but I'll be damned if every time I reported misogynistic abuse, up to and including death threats if I wasn't told "it didn't violate community standards". I assume you have the same problem reporting transphobia. But its not just the cyber world this happens in. As a woman I have found even in real life "support" is often an empty word
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#71
Francis 4 years ago
everytime my brother and my mum had an argument because of something he didn't do/couldn't do (ADHD is a bitch), he got so angry with himself, with my mum and the world allaround, that he yelled "sorry that i was born! i didn't choose it" and my mum looked so shocked.. i guess it helped her to realize that we didn't owe her or anybody else anything.
Talon 4 years ago
I’m using that next time my parents get mad at me for something my ADHD forced me to do/feel
Load More Replies... Nathan Pogorzala 4 years ago
if the parents aren't complete dumbasses, trying to instill a work ethic to succeed in a world that doesn't give a f**k about anything, is not a bad thing. Good grades are not the end all be all but it sort of shows a grasp of systems, concepts, time management etc.. And if we are living as a family and i ask my kid to take the recyclables out, they sort of owe me a "yes". The other ones (mood, sleeping well, loving activities) ill give you those. To expect perfection of a child is the sign of a complete moron but to let your child, who generally doesn't know how the real world works, grow without guidance or limits, you're only propagating another complete moron. Run on sentences complete.
Lp Johnson 4 years ago
Not a free babysitter. Not part of their salary. Not care for you when you grow old. Not a sounding board for your disputes with your own parents, friends, lovers or spouse. Not loyalty after decades of your abusive, selfish nature.
Frozengeckolover 4 years ago
My dad made my older brother pay him rent when he started working. But he didn't keep it; he put it in a savings account so my brother could save up for a down payment on his own place, and he added some of his own money to the account. I wish they had done the same with me. Moving out on your own with nothing is hard!
Load More Replies... Frozengeckolover 4 years ago
I agree that children don't "owe" their parents. But a parent's job is to help guide the child into adulthood. Part of that is setting boundaries, and expectations. If you let your kid get bad grades, they will miss out on opportunities in life. They might need help with homework, they might have a learning disability, or they might just be lazy. It is up to the parents to help them. My youngest brother was just lazy (No learning disability, no issues at school), he could easily do the work, he just didn't. He straightened up when my step mom told him he was going to have to go to summer school, and would miss the vacation they were taking that summer. Suddenly, he started getting good grades. They assessed the situation, and set boundaries and expectations. He also had anger issues, which they mostly ignored. Now he can't maintain a romantic relationship because of that. They really should have assessed that issue when he was younger.
Evil Little Thing 4 years ago
I disagree with this. Parents and children owe each other mutual care and respect.
bob bruce 4 years ago
You sound so certain. Was that philosophy beaten into you?
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Georgia Hebert 4 years ago
I know I'm going to be downvoted but, does that mean that the parents owe their children nothing, also?
Isabella 4 years ago
And who on the first place decided that wants a child? Your decision - your responsibility. We - as in: children - did not want to be born, nor chose it. It is on you.
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#73
Frozengeckolover 4 years ago
I had a boyfriend who claimed I was being clinging, and he dramatically told me I should find a guy who's world revolved around me. He was two hours late coming home, and I texted him ONCE to ask if he was ok (and he didn't even text me back). I'm pretty sure it's not unreasonable to expect someone to communicate when they are going to be late.
#74
Frozengeckolover 4 years ago
I've started saying, "I accept your apology in the spirit in which it was given." It makes people mad when they realize what I really said: If you give me a half-*ss apology, I will half-*ss accept it. Lol. Also, "being the bigger person" should mean walking away when there is no feasible way to resolve the situation; but that doesn't mean you accepted it. Sometimes there is literally no legal or ethical way to deal with a situation; you just have to cut your loses and get out of there.
Gerard Neaux 4 years ago (edited)
Yes, cutting ties and walking away is necessary when people are toxic.
Load More Replies... #75
Lousha 4 years ago
I wish friends and family understood this. If I don't have a good enough "excuse" then my time must be up for grabs. "Oh, you're not working tomorrow! Great, then we're doing this or that that will take 12 hours!". Just because I have a day off doesn't mean I'm free to do that, or I want to do that, or that you shouldn't even ask and just declare my time yours. I especially hate social media and chat programs because of this. Yes, they are awesome, you can stay connected with people who are not near enough to visit often. But at the same time, you're pressured to connect at any time, regardless of your mood or s*** you have going on. Back in the day when you got a letter by post, you could not open it for days. You could answer when you felt like it. Now the notification is just blinking, blinking. They expect you to answer because you little "green light" says you're online, so why don't you?!
Frozengeckolover 4 years ago
I despise social media apps. Now, my family is constantly worried about me because I don't connect with them immediately. They think I must be depressed. Sometimes I am, but that's not the point; sometimes I just dont want to talk to people. My family used to claim my time off too: "You only work part-time, so you should come help us with all this stuff." No! I only work part-time because my job is super stressful! I use my days off the recover from the days I work!
Load More Replies... #76
Soyexfox 4 years ago
does it have a name when people are doing it to me, or is that there fault too
Frozengeckolover 4 years ago
Why? Do you not fit into a classic definition of a woman? If that is the case, then it's also the patriarchy's fault. Because the same nitpicking, hoping-you-fail attitude is at play.
Load More Replies... Jacob Nunez 4 years ago (edited)
Hey now having blood boiling inside of you is a serious health concern but I will look into the situation promptly……….when im old enough to
#77
Ozacoter 4 years ago (edited)
Unless is about your own health and the experts tell you that you are fine and you feel ill. Specially as a woman, who are very likely to be ignored by doctors and so called "experts". My best friend lost a baby recently and risks permanent damage and pain for listening to doctors telling her that she was overreacting. I risk death if I ever get pregnant for trusting an expert who lied to me and considered me being infertile worse than me dying. I will need a hysterectomy (that risks my livers health due to the anesthesia and risks makjng my CFS worse) because of that lying psycopath.
Lulu Lemons 4 years ago
My mum has permanent diabetes, I nearly suffocated to death, have face blindness from brain damage and some more private health problems, all because the health professionals didn't listen. If they're refusing to even check if somethings wrong, they're wrong.
Load More Replies... Samantha Lomb 4 years ago
Not a chance if you are a female expert and the know nothing is a man.
#78
Rosie McLeod 4 years ago
I used to love her till I saw photos of her fox hunting with her good pal David Cameron - I just can't see past it
#79
Lp Johnson 4 years ago
Understand, for these people, suffering and allowing yourself to be abused for decades, and "making it" through anyway is a point of PRIDE... Despite the effects on mental health, their children, their marriage, their ability to live comfortably and pain free in later years, "suffering" with "nobody's help" or any "handouts" is the Murican way!
Frozengeckolover 4 years ago
Posuers! I was telling toxic bosses to kiss my butt before it was cool. But I don't have kids, so, if I can't afford groceries, it only affects me.
De Gueb 4 years ago
Or having to go to an office and not be allowed to play video games all days. Who was to know that work was such a drag. There are degrees that go from being a blood sucking parasite and a ass licking spineless slave.
#80
Freya the Wanderer 4 years ago
Years ago I quit a toxic job because of all the male bovine solid bodily waste ejecta they flung my way. Employees had to go through some training that was 100% pure hogwash and had nothing to do with productivity or business. We had to parrot the most ridiculous baloney. Our training entailed going through some half-a$sed kiddie games. I confess that I sabotaged a scavenger hunt - and I AM NOT F#####G SORRY I DID!!!!! Mwa ha ha ha ha! Soon after the so-called training was over, I quit.
Frozengeckolover 4 years ago
Employers do that to cover their own *ss. If they make EVERYONE attended mandatory training, and they make it so easy that a two year old could grasp it, then, if something happens, they can say, "It's not our fault; everyone attended training. That person must have acted independently." But you can also work that in your favor. Completing the course may seem asinine, but, if something happens, YOU can say, "Everyone attended training, so that person must have acted with malicious intent. Fire them!"
Load More Replies... #81
Kimi Tomminello 4 years ago
Pretty self explanatory... "You know how men say "she's crazy" after gaslighting women for days...." It's describing a specific set of circumstances, not the situation you were in.
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#82
Dave 4 years ago
Actually when people bump into each other in crowded places or if they were distracted by something is nothing but a misfortunate incident and nothing to make an issue out of it. Apologising is a decent, human thing to do. Regardless of gender. It does not invalidate anyone.
Ozacoter 4 years ago
You should see how much people make 0 effort to not bump into others because they believe that you will move for them. Now that i drive a disabilities scooter i would expect people to be more polite but not even then.
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#84
Dave 4 years ago
I have a tummy and the "innocent" jokes and comments are so numerous that I stopped counting. I know I have a bit of a tummy, thank you for pointing out the obvius.
Samantha Lomb 4 years ago (edited)
Yep. My grandpa used to do this s**t and my mom finally snapped on him and told him fat people do own mirrors and your comments do not help. And screw the people who pretend to be concerned about health to fatshame
Load More Replies... Soyexfox 4 years ago
thank you finally, if you joke about anything which you really shouldn't joke about color creed gender sexuality race you are shot and belittled and rightfully so, but you make a couple of fat jokes and theres no problem at all, fat jokes are incuraged because been fat is seen as the worst thing someone can be
Nathan Pogorzala 4 years ago
I don't know, a trans person getting set on fire seems to be a tad more serious and in need of our full efforts to cease than an ill-placed fat comment. Everyone deserves respect and no comments should be made either way, but let's not get out of hand. Racial conflicts, rape culture and the assault on women are tad more pressing and severe and may take precedent. We can all work to be more empathetic but this just seems like a recruiting call to place weight on the same severity level. downvote at will.
bob bruce 4 years ago
Right. We should make a list of the world's and not do anything about #2 until # 1 is completely sorted out.
Load More Replies... Helenium 4 years ago
if i had a pound for everytime someone asked when my baby was due i could pay my student loan off, my then partner was obese and no one said anything to him at all ever
bob bruce 4 years ago
Your comment is based on an ironically unfortunate monetary system, and perhaps a different system of weights and measures than what I'm used to.
Load More Replies... Jacob Nunez 4 years ago
I mean personally i really dont care about your belly. I mean look at mine. It’s covered in hair and i hate it.
#85
Francis 4 years ago
okay as a white as snow person.. is this true? is this a thing?? how horrible!
AnnaBanana 4 years ago
I tried for years to scrub off a birthmark because I thought it was ingrained dirt!
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Soyexfox 4 years ago
every single black person i know and are related to has no problem with the color of there skin, i think its the world thats trying to divide black and white by telling white people black people are all robbers rapists and muggers and then going back and telling black people all white people hate them because they have a different color skin. this happens all the time, barely hidden in plain view. i live in a very mixed area and every Christmas were told were not aloud to put up Christmas trees cause it offends people of different beliefs so people get racist, and all along it wasn't the people who were from different backgrounds and belifes but the councilors and what they wanted, its all to make different people hate each other just for been different TOM MCDONALD, look him up
bonnyatlast 4 years ago
I found out my X was putting white powder all over my daughter to make her skin lighter. He was brown, I'm not. She was brown and beautiful. I learned being outside playing in the sun was not a good thing. It would make her darker. That laying on the sand at the beach was not something they did. We actually went to the beach one time with kids in the car and just drove by and looked at it. Never got out of the car. "Who wants to lay in the dirt?"
Frozengeckolover 4 years ago
Being out in the sun is supposed to make you darker. White people do it on purpose. Not laying in the sun at the beach sounds like a personal choice. Me and my friends, of various skin colors, all went to the beach as kids; we still do sometimes. They used to tease me (in good fun) because I never got darker. They would say, "We all got a good tan, but Liz turned into a lobster." (Because I burned)
Load More Replies... Jacob Nunez 4 years ago
I saw a anime that had a joke Ike this in it…..i first laughed and then began to realize what i just laughed at
#86
Demi Zwaan 4 years ago
I'm afraid the majority of people need some explanation here. I'm not familiar with these terms, but they seem Indian?
Helenium 4 years ago
i always wonder of i changed my pen name to a male name i might sell more books
Anapv 4 years ago
You surely would. Many women writers have done it. It's a sad true.
Load More Replies... #87
Jacob Nunez 4 years ago
“No, and if i find you on my doorstep ill get the home defense shot gun” - my mother (28 at the time)
#90
Roxy Eastland 4 years ago
Using the word Karen in this way is just another misogynistic insult that works by implying that someone's femaleness is part of their problem. Put it in with slag, whore, dragon, battle axe, harpy, bitch, cow, old bag, etc etc etc. Using a misogynistic slur isn't sticking it to the patriarchy, it's doing their work for them.
royal_antelope 4 years ago
that's internalized misogynie. saying that biological sex has consequences is not cruel. i find it very revealing, that every hp actor/actress commented on this but the actors accused of r*pe are all completely ok to be seen in public with. gender is real. and so is sex.
Lulu Lemons 4 years ago
I'm still a little confused by this stuff. I read her tweets and their didn't seem to be much transphobia in them, just a lot of ignorance which she later apologised for. As a person in the public she should be more careful, but the level of hate seems to high. Can someone explain? I often misjudge this stuff or miss something
#91
Dave 4 years ago
"Colonial Grammar" really. I agree with all the posts, but this one is bullshit. Grammar is grammar. Full stop. It is not colonial, it is the English Language. Though British English rules and simplified U.S. grammar are two different things. That being said, when debating about an issue, those who attack the grammar have no valid contribution to make to the debate and they focus on things that do not matter in order to invalidate the opposing side.
BusLady 4 years ago
Sometimes they just want to feel smarter than the other guy. :-)
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Freya the Wanderer 4 years ago
Shout it from the mountaintop! S****y grammar can confuse the meaning of a sentence or paragraph. One misplaced adverb can completely alter what someone is saying or writing. As Moliere said, grammar knows how to control even kings.
Load More Replies... Roxy Eastland 4 years ago
This systems exist so that we can all understand what each other is going on about. What a ridiculous statement. I completely get that for some people the written word is never going to come easily and they'll make mistakes that they can't 'see', but the idea that the only reason any of us care about spelling and grammar is colonialism suggests that someone needs to step out of their bubble a bit more often.
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What do you think ?
Christopher Duffy 4 years ago
It's so nice to read this before the MRA weirdos/trolls wake up 6 hours from now and spray their impotent hate all over the place.
Aylwyn 4 years ago
Article Title is misleading,it's basically a mix of acceptance,calling out homophobes and racists,capitalism,motivation and dealing with patriarchy
Monica Pryts 3 years ago
The "explain it to me" thing always shuts up the man-children. Also if you harass me on social media, your SO is getting a message from me, complete with screenshots.
Josy Bannon 4 years ago
Beautiful satire shortfilm about this, hope you can watch with subtitles turned on: https://youtu.be/USoiJgmW4Aw
Thomas E S Thomas 4 years ago
God left Betty White on the Earth for 99 years. That means she outlived everyone who lived before her. I feel sorry for people over age 90. They get to watch their whole generation die before them. It's a lonely world.
Nikki Sevven 4 years ago
(1) Many of the entries in this article were not about sex. Quite a few were about race, ability, class, sexuality, gender, etc. (2) If you think that supporting women is a slippery slope to bashing men, then you're part of the problem.
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Samantha Lomb 4 years ago
Sorry calling men on their bullshit hurt your fragile masculinity. If you weren't the one engaging in this bullshit, these statements wouldn't apply to you now would they?
Load More Replies... Christopher Duffy 4 years ago
It's so nice to read this before the MRA weirdos/trolls wake up 6 hours from now and spray their impotent hate all over the place.
Aylwyn 4 years ago
Article Title is misleading,it's basically a mix of acceptance,calling out homophobes and racists,capitalism,motivation and dealing with patriarchy
Monica Pryts 3 years ago
The "explain it to me" thing always shuts up the man-children. Also if you harass me on social media, your SO is getting a message from me, complete with screenshots.
Josy Bannon 4 years ago
Beautiful satire shortfilm about this, hope you can watch with subtitles turned on: https://youtu.be/USoiJgmW4Aw
Thomas E S Thomas 4 years ago
God left Betty White on the Earth for 99 years. That means she outlived everyone who lived before her. I feel sorry for people over age 90. They get to watch their whole generation die before them. It's a lonely world.
Nikki Sevven 4 years ago
(1) Many of the entries in this article were not about sex. Quite a few were about race, ability, class, sexuality, gender, etc. (2) If you think that supporting women is a slippery slope to bashing men, then you're part of the problem.
Load More Replies... Samantha Lomb 4 years ago
Sorry calling men on their bullshit hurt your fragile masculinity. If you weren't the one engaging in this bullshit, these statements wouldn't apply to you now would they?
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