“You’re Throwing Us Out?”: Woman Throws Out Her Husband’s Brother And His Two Kids From Her Home After They Broke All The Toilets
Losing a loved one—a parent or sibling—is unimaginably painful. Life isn’t the same without them. And everyone grieves differently.
However, that raw grief shouldn’t be used as an excuse to make someone else’s life even worse. A woman asked the AITA subreddit for advice after a very dramatic situation at her home. Her brother-in-law’s kids had lost their mother earlier that year and were still grieving. While staying over at the redditor’s house, they completely destroyed the three toilets in a prank gone very wrong and then pretended like the ‘boiling water bandits’ were at fault.
The OP got upset with them and then turned to the internet for a verdict on whether or not she had overreacted. She felt that she may have been way too harsh in what she told her nephews. Read on for the full story, in the redditor’s own words.
Bored Panda reached out to comedy writer Ariane Sherine, the author of ‘The How of Happy.’ She was kind enough to share some insights about pranks, as well as the role that humor plays while grieving. Scroll down for her comments.
Everyone grieves differently. However, some behavior is completely unacceptable
Image credits: Timur Weber (not the actual photo)
A woman shared how her grieving nephews watched Home Alone and, inspired by the film, damaged her home
Image credits: etrtr (not the actual photo)
Image credits: 20th Century Fox
Image credits: xmasiatah2020
As brutal as it might sound, grief isn’t a blank cheque that allows people to do whatever they want to do. There are clear limits, like harming another person or their property. Similarly, with pranks, they clearly go too far when they’re causing tangible harm. If someone isn’t laughing, you probably screwed up.
The author of the AITA story felt conflicted about calling out her nephews, considering that they had lost their mother not too long ago. However, she also felt like she had to make her boundaries very clear. After all, they broke all of the toilets in the house and tried to pin it on the ‘boiling water bandits.’ This is the first time that we’ve heard of ‘Home Alone’ inspiring kids to prank others to this extent.
Bored Panda got in touch with comedy expert Ariane, from the UK. She answered our questions about where the line is when it comes to pranking others, and shared her insights on the relationship between humor and grief.
“For me, the line is if it’s likely to cause serious harm or upset,” the author of ‘The How of Happy’ told us. She added that, in this particular situation with the toilets, the prank has also gone too far because it has caused “great inconvenience.”
“Destroying another person’s property and costing them great amounts of money falls into this category,” she explained.
Because everyone grieves differently, they might view comedy from different perspectives. For example, someone might feel guilty about laughing, having fun, and enjoying life weeks, months, even years after the death of a loved one. On the flip side, some individuals embrace comedy.
We wanted to get comedy expert Ariane’s opinion on the role of humor during exceptionally difficult times.
“I think humor gives us perspective. Seeing the lighter side of life makes the darker side seem less bleak,” she told us.
“When you’re laughing, you can’t cry or be scared or sad—if only for that moment.”
Previously, Bored Panda had spoken about grief with psychotherapist Silva Neves. He answered our questions during an earlier interview. He stressed the fact that people really do grieve differently.
“Some grieve with a lot of crying and others grieve with being practical, and anything else in between. Not seeing any tears does not mean that people are not grieving. The process lasts as long as it needs to last, there is no time limit,” he explained to us.
“Usually, grieving diminishes over time, which means that people become less and less upset over time, but some people will never ‘recover’ from grieving, especially those who lost a very important person. Most people learn to live with grief and sadness. Significant dates, such as anniversaries, may always be painful,” the psychotherapist said.
“Although there are some common knowledge about grief, such as ‘stages of grief’, a lot of people don’t follow ‘stages’ of grief because grief can be messy and unpredictable. The best way to support someone who is grieving is by sitting with them, listening to them and that’s it,” he told Bored Panda.
“It is also important not to tell people ‘I know how you feel’ because grieving is so unique, nobody can know what another person’s grieving feels like, but perhaps we can imagine how painful it is. A lot of people get a lot of support with grief at the beginning of the loss, but often people stop talking about after a while.”
“Grieving people usually do appreciate their friends asking about it, even a year later or two years later. Don’t be afraid to ask the question, ‘How are you?’ and allow the grieving person to speak. Ask them for what they need but don’t assume what they need. Sometimes a grieving person might need a hug, but sometimes they may need to sit in silence. Sometimes they may need to be distracted with something else, other times they may want to talk about their pain.”
Some internet users asked the author of the post to share some additional information on what happened
Most people thought that the woman was completely within her rights to be upset at her nephews
However, some folks were of the opinion that pretty much everyone was to blame here
Some internet users ended up siding with the prank-loving kids
I'm curious as to why BP didn't publish the entire story here. You know, the part where OP tells the kids they're responsible for ruining Christmas and that their mom isn't coming back no matter how many toilets they break. This is definitely a story where everyone sucks. Jesus.
Definitely, that changes the whole story. She was way too cruel to the kids. Yeah, BIL sucks for not properly supervising and not taking responsibility. But also OP sucks for what she said. Being angry is ok, lashing out at children because of anger is not ok.
Load More Replies...I think NTA. Someone should’ve stopped them from actually BOILING water. It’s dangerous. And I don’t think it’s necessary to wreck havoc on other people’s homes because of grief. Sorry for their loss but really, this whole situation is kind of… weird. I’ll definitely get downvoted for this.
There are much larger problems if a 13 year old can't be trusted to safely boil water
Load More Replies...How damned heavy does the boys’ father sleep, that he didn’t hear THREE toilets break and the water spill out, FFS? Or was he not napping but passed out? While being the ONLY adult in the house supposedly supervising his own children? BIL needs to step up and be a father before his kids are so wild and out of hand they end up as delinquents, then felons, with records longer than they are tall. As for the OP’s angry words, well someone had to say it! The father can’t allow his kids to model their behavior on a movie—-fiction—-and no, their mother isn’t going to come back for them on Christmas. Nothing they do can make that happen, and they need to realize that. Yes, it could’ve been said better, but the kids won’t be able to grieve until they realize their mother is dead and not coming back, but they and their father are alive, and their mom would still want them to live their lives, even though she’s not there to see them do it. That’s the beginning of grieving and getting past the death of a parent, or a spouse. That family needs grief counseling, ASAP, or their future is going to be grim. Mom evidently was the anchor, but now dad needs to take on that role. If he is incapable of stepping up and being a real father, then he needs to turn his kids over to responsible and loving relatives who are willing to finish raising them for him, because he’s being nothing but a deadbeat dad right now, and his kids are suffering for it.
I completely agree. You're always the voice of reason and I feel like you hit the nail on the head. BIL/dad is sorely lacking, and yes, while he is probably depressed about the loss of his wife, he has to step up. He's all his sons have now and he has to pull it together and parent them before he loses control completely.
Load More Replies...I don't care what she said. She had her house damaged, kids were laughing about this, BIL did nothing, husband is against her. She had a right to be super pissed. She had a right to be harsh and say things she would regret. When angry and helpless, we say many things. It was harsh, but what did they expect?? They damaged her house and laughed in her face! She's no angel or saint, she's just a human treated badly. Double standards, everyone who says she should have been nice when they did what they did. I would throw them all out. BIL should have paid for all that and apologised, then she would have said nothing. She had every right to be furious.
I can’t understand how putting boiling water into a toilet breaks it. We pour boiling water into our toilet when the leavings are too *ahem* large to flush.
Yes, me neither. Toilets are made from porcelain, they shouldn't break from mere hot water. A hammer, maybe. I think the wife's NTA though, the BIL needs a wake up call. He's lucky the kids didn't spill hot water on their bodies
Load More Replies...Yea. You don't need those kids and father who can't discipline them in your home. Time they move out.
It's easy for us to say she's cruel and out of order for things she said, however; how would any of us react in the heat of the moment? I'm not saying what she was right but I know i would have lost the plot if I came home and found every toilet broken in my house. I've never heard of children behaving in such a manner their father is a jackass for making such nonsensical excuses for them.
I don't know who TA was, but for a moment, these kids had a mother back in their life. What chance is there that their mother would have put up with that buxxxxxt? The magnitude of the destruction they are causing is equal to their fear of going forward in life with a father who thinks that being loving is taking a pass on fathering. He needs to step the fxxk up. Also, their local hospice may have some programs for him and the kids--they need help grieving deeply and safely.
Honestly the more I think about it, the more it appears that the men are acting out just like the kids. There is so much unprocessed anger at that woman for dying, so the nearest responsible woman is a natural target. It is a classic psychological move to deal with one loss by creating another one that you feel in more control of. Now all the boys and men have left the woman. So there!
Load More Replies...If it had ever occurred to me as a 13 year old to break a toilet, I think my first reaction would be ohshitimgoingtobeinsomuchtrouble, not hey that was cool, one down, two to go. OP reacted badly in the moment but I can't fault her for making everyone leave a house with no working toilets. Meanwhile, if BIL doesn't get those kids back on track, he'll be paying way more in bail over the years than the price of three toilets.
I'm curious as to why BP didn't publish the entire story here. You know, the part where OP tells the kids they're responsible for ruining Christmas and that their mom isn't coming back no matter how many toilets they break. This is definitely a story where everyone sucks. Jesus.
Definitely, that changes the whole story. She was way too cruel to the kids. Yeah, BIL sucks for not properly supervising and not taking responsibility. But also OP sucks for what she said. Being angry is ok, lashing out at children because of anger is not ok.
Load More Replies...I think NTA. Someone should’ve stopped them from actually BOILING water. It’s dangerous. And I don’t think it’s necessary to wreck havoc on other people’s homes because of grief. Sorry for their loss but really, this whole situation is kind of… weird. I’ll definitely get downvoted for this.
There are much larger problems if a 13 year old can't be trusted to safely boil water
Load More Replies...How damned heavy does the boys’ father sleep, that he didn’t hear THREE toilets break and the water spill out, FFS? Or was he not napping but passed out? While being the ONLY adult in the house supposedly supervising his own children? BIL needs to step up and be a father before his kids are so wild and out of hand they end up as delinquents, then felons, with records longer than they are tall. As for the OP’s angry words, well someone had to say it! The father can’t allow his kids to model their behavior on a movie—-fiction—-and no, their mother isn’t going to come back for them on Christmas. Nothing they do can make that happen, and they need to realize that. Yes, it could’ve been said better, but the kids won’t be able to grieve until they realize their mother is dead and not coming back, but they and their father are alive, and their mom would still want them to live their lives, even though she’s not there to see them do it. That’s the beginning of grieving and getting past the death of a parent, or a spouse. That family needs grief counseling, ASAP, or their future is going to be grim. Mom evidently was the anchor, but now dad needs to take on that role. If he is incapable of stepping up and being a real father, then he needs to turn his kids over to responsible and loving relatives who are willing to finish raising them for him, because he’s being nothing but a deadbeat dad right now, and his kids are suffering for it.
I completely agree. You're always the voice of reason and I feel like you hit the nail on the head. BIL/dad is sorely lacking, and yes, while he is probably depressed about the loss of his wife, he has to step up. He's all his sons have now and he has to pull it together and parent them before he loses control completely.
Load More Replies...I don't care what she said. She had her house damaged, kids were laughing about this, BIL did nothing, husband is against her. She had a right to be super pissed. She had a right to be harsh and say things she would regret. When angry and helpless, we say many things. It was harsh, but what did they expect?? They damaged her house and laughed in her face! She's no angel or saint, she's just a human treated badly. Double standards, everyone who says she should have been nice when they did what they did. I would throw them all out. BIL should have paid for all that and apologised, then she would have said nothing. She had every right to be furious.
I can’t understand how putting boiling water into a toilet breaks it. We pour boiling water into our toilet when the leavings are too *ahem* large to flush.
Yes, me neither. Toilets are made from porcelain, they shouldn't break from mere hot water. A hammer, maybe. I think the wife's NTA though, the BIL needs a wake up call. He's lucky the kids didn't spill hot water on their bodies
Load More Replies...Yea. You don't need those kids and father who can't discipline them in your home. Time they move out.
It's easy for us to say she's cruel and out of order for things she said, however; how would any of us react in the heat of the moment? I'm not saying what she was right but I know i would have lost the plot if I came home and found every toilet broken in my house. I've never heard of children behaving in such a manner their father is a jackass for making such nonsensical excuses for them.
I don't know who TA was, but for a moment, these kids had a mother back in their life. What chance is there that their mother would have put up with that buxxxxxt? The magnitude of the destruction they are causing is equal to their fear of going forward in life with a father who thinks that being loving is taking a pass on fathering. He needs to step the fxxk up. Also, their local hospice may have some programs for him and the kids--they need help grieving deeply and safely.
Honestly the more I think about it, the more it appears that the men are acting out just like the kids. There is so much unprocessed anger at that woman for dying, so the nearest responsible woman is a natural target. It is a classic psychological move to deal with one loss by creating another one that you feel in more control of. Now all the boys and men have left the woman. So there!
Load More Replies...If it had ever occurred to me as a 13 year old to break a toilet, I think my first reaction would be ohshitimgoingtobeinsomuchtrouble, not hey that was cool, one down, two to go. OP reacted badly in the moment but I can't fault her for making everyone leave a house with no working toilets. Meanwhile, if BIL doesn't get those kids back on track, he'll be paying way more in bail over the years than the price of three toilets.

































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