Hey Pandas, How Do I Make Peace With The Part Of Me Which I Can’t Stand Or Live With? (Closed)
We all have something about ourselves which we're not really proud of... but what if that part keeps bothering you for years, even to an extent where it starts to wipe out your identity, establishes low self-esteem about yourself, and starts to push you away from people, your loved ones?
What do you do in that situation?
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Well, you have to be more specific. If you were a surgeon, you wouldn't operate without knowing what you're operating.
I think the more you resist "that part," the more obsessive you become about it. I also believe that you can live with it, no matter what it is. You can also learn to stand it. If it's destructive, you really have to go deep into yourself and try to pinpoint what's destructive about it and learn to control the "bad part" of it. Just don't deny that you have these qualities, and learn to love them and accept them.
Remember, everything is harmful in excess, even "good qualities." Too kind? You'll suffer personally. Too giving? You'll lose things. Etc., etc.
I don't know, giving specific advice to a loosely described problem seems inaccurate, in any case.
You must have the patience to change the things you can and accept the things you cannot.
Also start with something small. For example your house is disorganized and it drives you nuts. Start by organizing a single drawer. Decide exactly what belongs in that drawer. Once decide on a home for an object its easier to keep putting it there.
Come to terms with it
You need to realize that there will always be parts of you that you won't like, and you can't change that.
Another way is to embrace it
There will ALWAYS be something you hate about yourself. Who knows maybe if it were to go it would cause a butterfly effect (if thats what its called) and before long you are a different person. I'd try to accept it. It will be hard work but it will be worth it
Specifics would help, but to generalise: The best thing to do is establish why you dislike that aspect of you, I mean it is a part of you after all. Once you know why you don't like it you can move on to the next step.
Is it physical? Can you do something about it? Will changing your diet or exercising help?
Is it psychological? A personality trait, a toxic behaviour, a paranoia? Could counselling or therapy help?
Once you have answered these questions it's important to ask one more, very important question. Is it only an issue to me? Because if it isn't an issue to other people, acceptance could be easier than you think.
The fact that your question is actually asking how to accept it, suggests that you are on the right path to acceptance and it's your preferred solution. Speak to a professional in the field of the subject matter.
For me, acceptance came when I found I was not the only one. The data was first presented as between 1-4% of the population, that didn't help, but translate that to 'up to just over 306 million people', I find I'm nowhere near alone.
