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46 Hard Truths Women Realize At Some Point In Their Lives And Have To Accept And Live With
Everybody's problems are different, and they all deserve to be heard, so feminist writer Carina North, who blogs about trauma and recovery, has recently asked women on Threads to list what they believe to be the worst parts of womanhood.
In just a few days, she has received hundreds of honest accounts on rigid social structures, tense interpersonal relationships, and challenging body changes.
As AI slop floods the media, this discussion stood out as an increasingly rare example of genuine reflection and meaningful dialogue. To spare you the hassle of scrolling through everything yourself, we've gathered some of the top insights and invite you to join the conversation.
More info: Instagram | Substack | Threads
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#1
Being alone and peaceful is far greater than settling or forcing myself to make something work with someone that isn't my person.
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Of course, the situation might look different depending on which part of the world you analyze, but at least in the United States, two of the top three concerns for women are inflation and the economy.
A collaboration between the Barbara Lee Family Foundation and the Women & Politics Institute at American University has resulted in a survey that revealed 56% of the country's women feel their financial situations worsened in recent years.
67% of respondents cut back on going out to restaurants, 48% reduced the amount they spend on groceries, and 18% delayed or canceled preventive health screenings.
Nearly 40% of younger women can make ends meet each month but struggle to pay or save for unexpected expenses, while 20% of young women admit they struggle to make ends meet each month and sometimes come up short.
#5
That my own parents are upset that I don’t want kids. I am 24 and they keep saying “you’ll change your mind” no I won’t. It’s so annoying. Like I am grown and can make my own decisions about MY OWN body.
60% say they are pessimistic about the economy, and nearly half (47%) say they are anxious or worried about how things are going in the U.S.
As a result, the majority (60%) feel they're more burned out than usual.
Only 20% of those surveyed say they're hopeful.
#6
My mum had to get a man to speak to businesses over the phone to get respect when she was dealing with them. She was a single parent and worked so hard but was never heard.
#7
That for a lot of men, once you reach a certain age as a woman, you’re invisible. I sit with many elderly women in hospice, they have stories for days. But only I seem to hear them. I work with women in their late 50s and early 60s, and the lives they have lived are truly, AMAZING. Is this our fate? To only exist to men, during the maiden/ mother phase of life? Half the population ignores women 45+💔
#8
That my body is weaker than a man's and that therefore I will never feel safe. That 40 years of periods and 500+ cycles is somehow not enough.
#9
OH another one— instead of listening to the literal billions of women who TELL them what women want, they will always throw that away and take a man’s advice on what women want.
cuz of course, we’re lying and they know better.
Heather Rose Artushin, LISW-CP, agrees that workplace norms, gendered societal expectations, and relationship dynamics can hold women back.
"Many women desire a balance between career, family, and a fulfilling personal life, but achieving this balance is often not so easy," she says. "Societal expectations, like taking on the majority of housework and childcare tasks even when working full-time, and workplace biases, like lower pay and inflexible work hours, leave women feeling overwhelmed, stressed, and burned out."
#10
That nobody cares about our health as much as we do. Including doctors. Every symptom I have is an uphill battle to not be labelled as 'anxious'. Sometimes I feel like we're still in the 1800s and I'll be sent to an asylum before my symptoms are taken seriously :,). Not listening to health care professionals has saved my life and that terrifies me.
#11
I will always be judged based on my body and looks, and it's the first thing men attack when they realise how strong my character is.
But while workplace norms and gendered societal expectations stand in the way of women having it all, relationships can also play a role.
"It isn't uncommon for female spouses to give their male partners time to work late at the office or travel for business, taking on the extra burden at home, but what would it be like for men to give women the same time to invest in their careers without having to worry about making dinner, packing lunches, or facilitating the bedtime routine with the kids?" the therapist asks.
Hopefully, we'll see more couples sharing the load so both partners can thrive at work and at home.
#14
You can say something very relevant, honest and well thought, but nobody will truly listen until a man repeats it.
#16
While 60 countries have had female leaders already, the US still refuses to vote for a female President. Twice now, qualified women were willing to serve their country and instead...well, you know the rest.
#17
That it always will be my fault. because I should have tidied up after them, I should have checked they're OK, I should have known what everyone liked, I shouldn't have spoken out.
#19
Lots of men will never see us as people. Men can pursue and even marry us and tick the boxes of treating us ok (like you do a pet or appliance) - it doesn’t mean he sees you as a person or is interested in you as a person. Those men are also creating products and making laws and leading institutions while ignoring the needs of half the population - not noticing when we’re not in the room, and happier when we’re not as it’s uncomfortable when not-people speak up.
#20
That most other women underestimate their capabilities. I can’t even recall how many times I have had women in my neighborhood asked me where I take my car in for service and when I tell them that I do it myself they’re completely flabbergasted. I always invite them over to watch and learn how to do with themselves and see how easy it is. Only the really easy stuff: oil changes, brakes, belts, hoses, spark plugs… If I can learn to bake a cake they can learn to change their own oil.
#21
Gynos will always say and convince others (including women) that we don't feel pain down there.
#22
One of the hardest ugly truths I’ve had to accept as a woman is having to back up statements with research or a source. I have several instances where I state a fact and a dude will be like, “wait, that can’t be right?” And then I will literally pull the book out that it was from and cite my source and sometimes they’ll be like “ah ok” and other times they’ll want more sources.
#23
The saddest topic 😔
I can only agree with… literally every single lady here.
My own truth: no matter how educated and experienced you are, your supervisor (if it’s a man) will always prioritise another man’s opinion and decision.
#24
That I can accomplish many things, help many people and still get dismissed because I’m over 50.
#27
I think the scariest one for me is that there very well could be a great, upstanding man who pursues me in earnest and genuinely wants everything I want, but I’ll be so afraid waiting for the other shoe to drop that I’ll ruin it somehow. But I’m working at conquering that fear, and not being the conquered.
#28
The fact that I must look a certain way and be feminine to be found attractive by a man. Welp I guess I am not trying anymore and just being unapologetically a gremlin (myself).
#29
That no matter how we look, we will get harrased. Men used to always make gross comments about my body and the only reason they stopped is that I gained weight. So now they are making different gross comments about my body. Yay... 😑
#30
That not being married with children by a certain age makes you worthless. Oh and that once your 40 or over you've "passed your prime. "
#32
For me it’s the sacrifice I give as a mom a wife a daughter a sister etc. the sacrifice is never seen it feels like
#33
That no matter how much in life you accomplish for yourself, you’ll always only be measured by if you’re “married” and if you’re a “mother”
#35
Men don’t LIKE women.
They like what they signify—a wife, house, kids—signifies success.
But I don’t think most men genuinely LIKE women.
#36
That after years of working, raising kids and managing most of the household chaos… I am becoming invisible…
#37
Very little community for us. Men want to sleep with us, other women want to sabotage us.. very few genuine people who don’t have ulterior motives.
#38
anything I achieve in life will be downplayed or overshadowed by being pretty.
i’m so tired of the comments after conversations being:
“wow you’re *ACTUALLY* really intelligent/funny/nice/wise/etc”— almost is if they’re asking a question & scratching their heads about how there’s an actual brain & person with a life inside of my body.
#40
PCOS has made me into this "man" that everyone wants to swear I am. No, it is a hormonal disorder 🙃
#41
That a man, will always and I mean always want something from you. Whether family friend or lover
#43
That other women will never stop reminding me to be scared
And use it to stop me
And tell me it's for my own good
As if I don't get enough fear naturally
That's not my place and we agree
So stop telling me so and insisting
Not to be insensitive
Just honest
That's how I deal
#44
That I was born into a culture that uses the solar calendar and orients time linearly, utterly divorced from nature, literally putting me at fundamental odds with my own biology.
And it's just accepted, the justice of it not questioned.
#45
We will be betrayed by everyone we love at some point in our live and there is nothing we can do to prevent it from happening. It doesn't matter what we did or did not before. We can only move on from that point.
What do you think ?
Mel in Georgia 5 months ago
Am I naive? Protected? Lucky? I've experienced my share of terrible men in my 60+ years but also know that most have been pretty awesome. I'm glad to have been born in a time when women, despite having to work harder and smarter, have had the opportunity to succeed in careers. It wasn't always the case. Believe in yourselves, ignore the a$$holes and find your support crew!
Earonn - 5 months ago
For me it's that I will always be 'punished' for being a woman. Did an apprenticeship, was 3rd best in my year (out of 90), but didn't get a job because "We don't employ women" (yeah, that was before mobile phones). Had to get a call centre job just to earn money at all. This is money I will always miss - money to spend, but also money that isn't paid into my pension. Same with promotions that men got for either doing the same as me or even for the work I did. Again: money I'm missing. And so on and so on. //// That I will never be safe from being ra/ped. Not at 89, not in hospital, not even when I'm dead ////// That we can get gang ra/ped as children, but if we develop and eating order because of that, 10 years later people will chastise us for "being so fat" and "a strain on the health care system".
Mel in Georgia 5 months ago
Am I naive? Protected? Lucky? I've experienced my share of terrible men in my 60+ years but also know that most have been pretty awesome. I'm glad to have been born in a time when women, despite having to work harder and smarter, have had the opportunity to succeed in careers. It wasn't always the case. Believe in yourselves, ignore the a$$holes and find your support crew!
Earonn - 5 months ago
For me it's that I will always be 'punished' for being a woman. Did an apprenticeship, was 3rd best in my year (out of 90), but didn't get a job because "We don't employ women" (yeah, that was before mobile phones). Had to get a call centre job just to earn money at all. This is money I will always miss - money to spend, but also money that isn't paid into my pension. Same with promotions that men got for either doing the same as me or even for the work I did. Again: money I'm missing. And so on and so on. //// That I will never be safe from being ra/ped. Not at 89, not in hospital, not even when I'm dead ////// That we can get gang ra/ped as children, but if we develop and eating order because of that, 10 years later people will chastise us for "being so fat" and "a strain on the health care system".
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