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“Now That I’m Older I Very Much Regret It”: 30 Life Lessons That People Regret Learning Too Late
Life’s curveballs usually come with a valuable lesson. These realizations may reinforce old ones. But sometimes, they are entirely new and catch you like a slap in the face, like what these people experienced.
A Reddit thread from a while back came with a loaded question: “What’s a hard-hitting life lesson you learned way too late in life?” Many answers were deep and heavy, whether about accepting failure, the “fantasy” of romance, or how “tomorrow is never promised.”
These responses align more with common sense, but they hit differently once you experience them firsthand. Feel free to share your own learnings in the comments below.
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#3
It is okay to walk away from toxic family. I am not the monster they paint me as. I can't fix or save them. I can only protect my kids.
#4
That the disappointment of your parents will be far shorter lived than the unhappiness you'll endure by trying to make your life fit their perfect picture.
#5
If someone talks s**t about other people to you, they are probably talking s**t about you to other people.
#6
Listen to your grandparents' stories and ask them as many questions as you can about their lives and family history, etc. All 4 of mine passed when I was too young to truly appreciate any of the above.
#7
No matter how much scientific evidence you show some people, they refuse to believe anything that doesn't fit their narrative.
#8
Sometimes the people who seem the happiest are the ones that are struggling the most. Be kind, be kind, be kind.
I've lost two friends to s*icide who were always the ones smiling and trying to make everyone around them happy. I think because they understand such deep pain, they try to make sure their loved ones don't ever feel the same.
#9
It's okay to fail. That's how we learn. I used to be so afraid of failing that I never tried.
#11
Some people just won't admit they're wrong. Don't waste time trying to get them to accept it. Wasted too much of mine own time trying to correct people.
#12
I can do it myself. Now that we're in the digital age, I learned how to change my windshield wipers, trim my rabbit's nails, repair screen windows, replace my sub pump, ect. I always felt like I missed out learning hands-on thing because my dad checked out early. N'ah, girl, you can do that s**t on your own!
#13
The importance of dental health.
I didn't take care of my teeth in my youth and now that I'm older I very much regret it.
#17
People who can frame everything to make themselves the victim are actually pretty toxic and most likely are the actual problem.
#19
Work life balance is critical, and hustle culture is stupid. The only people who notice all those extra hours you put in at work are your family and friends.
#20
That EVERYONE is making it up as they go along. Your teacher, parents, pastor, Army Generals, CEO's, everyone. No one has 100% true answers.
However, success in life IS about being decisive. Get enough information to make an intelligent decision then confidently act on it. Others will THINK you have all the answers.
#21
The Human Resources (HR) department is there to protect the company, not you. Don’t ever think you can lean on HR for anything.
#22
You can't really help people who don't truly want to help themselves. Unless a person realizes, admits, and is receptive to being helped **and** helping him/her/itself, you're just wasting your energy and probably adding to your own stress.
#24
People can leave your life at anytime for any reason and there's nothing you can do about it.
#27
That other people don't care what you think. They're more worried about themselves, and you aren't the first thing on their priority list.
Could've saved so many headaches if I knew this years ago.
#28
For me it’s all about tomorrow is never promised. My husband died very suddenly and for a while I gave up on life. I became very ill and had to be flown to hospital from the tiny island we lived on. Somewhere during that scary flight I chose to live.
That was 7 years ago and I’m now living a very full life. Working p/t and travelling as much as possible.
#29
You don’t need a million friends. Maybe less than 10, maybe 5, good friends. Put a LOT of effort into those relationships instead of spreading yourself too thin.
#31
Spending a few extra seconds to be kind to someone else. Person checking you out the grocery store? Tell them "thanks I hope you have a good day" or asking "how's your day going". Going through a drive thru? Say please and thank you after ordering. I worked drive thru for years and people are so rude but a little politeness goes a long way. Specially in times of covid. People have bad days and it bleeds into other aspects if their life. Show compassion and you could change someone's day. I go out of my way to go to a coffee shop, where the barista's ask me about my work at the university, sure it's part of their job but it makes me feel a bit more special about my work. Gives me the extra boost for the day.
#34
You can be the best driver on the road, but you can't control everyone else. Always keep your head up and drive safe.
#35
BOUNDARIES are healthy and important. You never really know someone until you tell them no. Its okay to drop people who don't respect your boundaries. And if someone respects your boundaries until they're angry, they don't respect your boundaries.
#37
Just because someone is your parent doesn’t mean they are able or capable of loving you. It’s ok to let them go.
#39
The kind of romantic love I had hoped for was a fantasy in my head and not how most normal relationships work.
#41
You have to take chances sometimes, and although it can be scary and outside your comfort zone you'll never know what could've been unless you go for it.
#45
It’s okay to be selfish and take care of yourself over others. One day you may look and see there’s nothing that you feel proud or accomplished by because you were living your life trying to please others vs doing what you want for yourself.
#47
Don’t go through life wondering, what could have been, if you had tried harder or gave it a second chance. Regret is one of the worst feelings that could eat you away from the inside!
#49
That failure is part of success. Don’t get down by your failures. If you fail 99 times but succeed once, then you’re doing just fine. Once I realized that failure is a learning opportunity, I became a much happier person overall.
#50
That I'm not special. I went to college at a school that had twice the number of students as my home town had residents, and realized what "big fish in a small pond" meant.
#51
Your most important relationship you'll ever have in this world is the one you have with yourself. If you find too much of your happiness to be reliant on things outside of your control (other people), it's time to take a step back and work on your relationship with you.
#52
That I am capable of success. I spent so long doubting myself and not doing things because I didn't think I could.
#53
Working your hardest and going above and beyond at your job doesn’t guarantee you’ll get any farther there. It WILL guarantee an unrealistic workload and pace that you can’t maintain for the long term with your employer though. No better way to burn yourself out into total misery!!! The best place to be with work is just doing your job and clocking the f**k out. You’re far more likely to advance at a career by being well liked. Do yourself a huge favor and just strive for middle; take an opportunity to shine every once in a while, and maintain your mental health so you aren’t a d**k to your coworkers. I’m 33 and it’s taken me this long to truly and fully understand this concept. Average is not always a bad thing, especially in corporate America.
#54
Save for retirement. And set up your 401K contributions to increase by 1% each year, preferably timed for when and/or if you get you're annual increase. You won't notice it in your paycheck, but it will do wonders for your investments.
#55
You *don’t* have to apologize for who you are. Be yourself, even when you feel like you shouldn’t. Real friends will come out of the woodwork and love you for *you*.
#56
Sometimes listening is greater advice than advice itself.
By that I mean that everybody is capable of solving their own problems, and sometimes they don’t need advice. They just need someone to bounce their head off of to lay out their issues.
The best thing you can do is be there and give them a positive experience.
#58
Everytime I would see messages on social media about how you should spend more time with your parents while they are around else you'll regret later - I used to think what sort of person would not know it already. I was sure I'll never be guilty of not prioritising my family.
Last year, my mother was diagnosed with liver cancer, last stage on 24 March.
I had a business trip of 2 weeks in April, that I had really been working hard towards and looking forward to.
My father, sister and even my mother said everything, from loving to mean; to convince me that I must go.
It's not that nobody advised me otherwise. I had friends who said I should let go of the trip and spend time with My mother.
I don't know what came over me. I was too panicked to be in a position to make a hard decision. (Shame that I found it hard)
I went for the trip. I attended that coveted conference. I attended it this year too and I'm going to, next year as well.
What would have changed, if I missed that trip?
Professionally, not much. Only an year, out of a long career.
Personally, I lost my chance to be with her in her dying days. She was gone when I returned. She left us in 2 days after I was gone. It is going to haunt me my entire life.
I learnt it the hard way, prioritising the bigger things in life.
#59
That attention and actual interest are two way different things.
ETA: Wow. Ok! Had no idea this would be so popular. For those asking for elaboration, I guess I was looking at it more from a relationship/love interest context... there are many men (women too. Just going off my experience) who might give you attention, flirt, etc, but that attention does not actually mean they want to pursue anything. I’ve had it apply to friendships too, where the person just wants someone to party with, go to bars, but isn’t interested in being more than an acquaintance. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong there, I just wasted a lot of time expecting too much from the attention givers. Learning to tell the difference between the surface level stuff and the ones who actually gave a f**k was a hard but important lesson for me.
#61
Don't even try to have/force a deep connection with a narcissist. From my experience, they're not capable of intimacy or a friendship that goes beyond the surface, so you'll only end up hurt and abused.
#62
Don't be the broken wing mender guy
I ended up doing that too many times.
You end up attracting crazy instead of stable.
#64
If you're irreplaceable, you're unpromotable.
Missed several promotions early in my careers because I was "Too valuable" in the position I was in. If you want a promotion, work hard enough to get noticed, but not so hard that they're dependant on you.
#66
It's not too late, but I've learnt that in certain situations where there's an opportunity to be accepted or rejected (whether it's work, romance, etc.) sometimes, the worst thing someone can say is no.
#68
You can work every waking hour for days at a time, your absolute hardest, and the minute you misstep or make a mistake, it will all burn down far faster then you could ever put it together.
#70
There’s never a good time to change things. You just have to choose when you’re gonna make the change and put the time, effort, and discipline in to make it happen.
Example for me is quitting smoking. For years I told myself that I would quit smoking when things settled down and over a weekend where I’ll be home and stress free. But then I would always start back because some stressful event happened and I “needed it” to help cope. The fact is, shits always gonna happen but the difference is I need to change HOW I react to it.
But that method is helping me in other areas. I used to game heavily and procrastinate on my adulting duties. Often I would neglect them as I would get so into a session I would lose track of time and be tired. I still do it from time to time as I’m working on changing my approach I.e. I will dust and vacuum everything BEFORE I get on. But it’s absolutely no where near as bad as I used to be.
You know what you need to change. Just start on one thing. Mine was quitting smoking. Since then I’ve focused on my health by walking more and exercising as well as using my newfound time gained from each 5 minute smoke break I had to invest into myself.
#71
To try harder and focus while still young. I didn’t start caring about actually having a career or making a decent income until after I graduated college. Now I’m having to struggle with money, work a full time job I hate, and do school part time so I can finally get a job that pays well and something I’ll hopefully enjoy. If I don’t enjoy it, well at least it will pay well.
#72
That college isn't about getting an education, you can do that in a library or online. college was about networking (didn't do that) and getting that piece of paper to put on a resume. I wasted my f*****g time in college focusing on learning instead of building a social network and now I don't have the job to allow me to live okay and I don't have any friends to rely on. kids, don't go to college unless you really know what you want to do, and if you do go to college don't lock yourself in your room trying to get amazing grades. make your friends, because your lifelong friends will be made from college. talk to your professors, because they will help you give an inroad to opportunity. don't let me words be in vain as I work myself to death and still have naught but pennies to my name.
#73
Actually doing your homework pretty f*****g helps when it comes to not screwing up your tests.
#74
Trust patterns of people’s behavior. Past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior.
#75
As per my experience the importance of time management is the most common lessons that we learn too late on life. When you are 40 and look back at your life' and how you spent it, sometimes wasting, you would be inclined to feel bad. Hence I suggest everyone to manage their time wisely and gain happiness by spending it productively. And if you have not managed it properly it is never late to begin afresh
#76
The Illusion of Time:
We often think we have endless time. We procrastinate, postpone, and delay important tasks, thinking we'll get to them later. But time is a finite resource. What we perceive as "later" can quickly turn into "never."
The Lesson:
Start now, not later. Break down large tasks into smaller, manageable steps. Prioritize your time, and don't let opportunities slip away. Remember, time waits for no one.
#77
The money you're paid for your job is completely random and is completely unrelated to any economic factors.
Keep applying for jobs and you can be overpaid and underworked too. It's a game of chance, keep rolling the dice and one day you might roll a six.
Edit: to elaborate whatever job it is you're doing (with the exception of certain service jobs, if you're in one of them GET OUT NOW). There is a good chance a lot of people are being paid half as much as you and just as many are being paid twice as much, for no reason other than their employer has a different opinion of their value.
#78
All jobs suck. It's best to think about what will help you get the lifestyle you want (whether that's $ or just working as little as possible)than trying to "be" something impressive sounding or going for what you think will be a "dream" job. Jobs don't give people purpose. It's the things that happen in their personal lives that do.
#79
You get into bed and are preparing for a good sleep.
You feel like you wanna pee.
It's cold out there, so you decide to hold it back.
“I would be in a deep sleep in minutes anyway”, as you lied to yourself.
You tossed and turned for 2 hours, finally you put on your slippers, rushed to the toilet.
You have wasted 2 hours making up your mind, 2 hours that could have been used for a good rest.
When something is bothering you in your life, be it sand in your shoes, long-due homework, a school bully, sexual molestation in office, you figure it out ASAP.
Troubles simply won't straighten themselves out, you wanna have a better life, you fix your troubles the very moment they emerge, and fix them once and for all.
#80
It’s not about you. We take way too much of what is going on with other people, way too personally. How other people act and react is about them. Also, people who chronically hold you responsible for how they feel, are not emotionally healthy people to have in your life. Cultivate relationships with people who are respectful and kind, and strive to be respectful and kind.
Along that last vein, other people’s opinions are not as important as we make them out to be. Those who truly love us, will change and adapt when we do what we have to meet our own needs. If they don’t, their love was conditional all along. It’s okay to out grow people and move on.
Change is a constant. We don’t have as much control as we think we do. Today’s decision may indeed affect ten years from now, but we have no clue what form it will take. Rarely does anything we imagine happening, end up being, what actually happens. A good decision could have long term negative affects and a bad decision could open the door to the best experience of our life. So don’t take decision making so seriously. Do the research and make a decision that feels good, now.
We are not our bodies, and we are never our past selves. Literally and figuratively. You change the cells of your body constantly. You at 20 doesn’t really know what you at 40 needs and wants, and you at 40, needs to not beat up the 20 year old version of yourself, nor envy or try to emulate that 20 year old either. Be true to who you are now. It’s the only you that really exists, everything else is memory or fantasy.
We never get it done. There is not going to be this one magical point in time, you’ll have all your needs and desires met, and you’ll live happily ever after. When you get to any there, new desires will be born. So it is important to savour the journey and the moments, when our needs are met, in the here and now. I know too many people who will sit and watch a sunset, talking about tomorrow. Tomorrow never comes!
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Phantom Phoenix 1 year ago (edited)
Dear BP, there's content in this article (and others) that I've seen, commented on, and apparently have upvotes and replies - that you've congratulated me on... but that is now hidden behind your "Premium" pay wall. Stop this nonsense. The content isn't "Premium." Your subscription should simply be an option to remove ads. That is all
Steve Robert 1 year ago
Whenever this option to pay for stolen content shows up, I leave the site. Byeee!
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Willie D'Kay 1 year ago
Honestly, no lessons are really learned too late. Most likely the lesson popped up in your life early on, you just weren't ready to pay attention to it until the consequences of ignoring it finally mattered. The lesson is learned exactly when you are developmentally receptive to it.
Phantom Phoenix 1 year ago (edited)
Dear BP, there's content in this article (and others) that I've seen, commented on, and apparently have upvotes and replies - that you've congratulated me on... but that is now hidden behind your "Premium" pay wall. Stop this nonsense. The content isn't "Premium." Your subscription should simply be an option to remove ads. That is all
Steve Robert 1 year ago
Whenever this option to pay for stolen content shows up, I leave the site. Byeee!
Load More Replies... Willie D'Kay 1 year ago
Honestly, no lessons are really learned too late. Most likely the lesson popped up in your life early on, you just weren't ready to pay attention to it until the consequences of ignoring it finally mattered. The lesson is learned exactly when you are developmentally receptive to it.
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