Rottweiler Owner Asks If She’s Being Unreasonable To Want To Get Rid Of Fiancé’s Cats

There are dog people and there are cat people, and sometimes, they fall in love. Mumsnet user Ellie09 and her fiancé decided the next logical step in their relationship was to move in together. The plan made perfect sense: live in her rent-free home, save for the wedding, and build a future. But they quickly ran into a problem—blending pets. With a playful Rottweiler, two quiet cats, and a child with ASD, the couple’s happily-ever-after is suddenly full of fur, sneezes, and serious compromises.

For couples, moving in together is a big step

Image credits: Francesco Ungaro/Pexels (not the actual photo)

And when they need to blend multiple pets into the new household, the change might become even trickier

Image credits: cookie_studio/Freepik (not the actual photo)

Image credits: ellie09

There are multiple strategies for introducing dogs and cats, and with enough patience, it can be done

Image credits: Alexander Grey/Pexels (not the actual photo)

The couple isn’t necessarily doomed. There are many different ways to introduce a dog to a cat, according to Best Friends Animal Society, a leading national animal welfare organization dedicated to ending the killing of dogs and cats in America’s shelters. The main ones are:

• Slow and steady desensitization. According to the experts at Best Friends, if the dog is too fixated on the cat, you can try desensitization, the goal of which is to reduce the dog’s reaction to their new roommate by gradually increasing exposure.You can put the cat in a room (e.g., a bedroom, bathroom, or spare room) with a tall baby gate across the door. The room you choose should be one that the dog cannot access and doesn’t need to access. For instance, if the dog sleeps in the bedroom with you at night, pick a different room for the cat. The idea is to separate them and only allow them to view each other during specific times of the day. Give the cat all the necessary supplies in their room: a litter box, toys, food, and water. Don’t forget that cats are good at squeezing through small gaps and are also good climbers and jumpers, so make sure yours can’t get past the gate you put up. The gate needs to be a firm barrier that allows the cat and dog to see one another but does not allow them to access each other.To begin desensitization, let the dog view the cat briefly through the gate, and then draw the dog’s focus onto something else, such as playing with a toy or practicing commands. Sometimes, it helps to keep the dog on a leash so that you can move away from the cat when you try to refocus the dog’s attention. Praise and reward the dog for being able to focus elsewhere. Continue to give the dog short viewings of the cat throughout the day.Sometimes, even seeing the cat can be too exciting for certain dogs. If this is the case, close the door and begin feeding each animal on their side of the door: the cat eats in the room right next to the door, and the dog eats on the other side of the door. This allows each animal to associate the smells of the other with something good—food! You can also swap out the blankets and bedding of each animal, giving it to the other. That way, they can get used to each other’s smell without overstimulating either of them.Hopefully, through this process of slowly letting the dog see the cat and get accustomed to their presence, the dog will eventually become desensitized and lose interest in the cat. In some cases, the dog will lose interest in the cat within a couple of hours, but in others, it can take days, weeks, or even months. Each dog and each cat is different and will learn at their own pace.
• “Look at that.” If the quick introduction did not work and your dog is not becoming desensitized to the cat, you might need to try a more structured approach. By playing “look at that” (LAT) with your dog, you can help teach them not to fixate on the cat. Essentially, your dog will learn that it is more rewarding to not pay attention to the cat.To start, you need to figure out the dog’s threshold on the leash: at what point does the dog notice the cat but still respond to you when you say the dog’s name? That’s the dog’s threshold. Each dog has a different threshold. For one dog, 5 feet away from the cat might be the threshold, for another, it might be 25. You’ll know you have gone past the threshold when your dog starts barking or lunging at the cat, or if the dog starts moving more slowly, staring, and stiffening. If you call your dog’s name and don’t get a response, move them a few feet back from the cat.Once you’ve figured out the dog’s threshold, grab a clicker and some delicious treats. If you don’t have a clicker, a verbal marker, “Yes!” will work just fine. Put a handful of treats in your hand, and keep the bag close by for later.When you see the dog looking at the cat, click or use your verbal marker and offer a treat. The first few times, you might have to put the treat right in front of your dog’s nose, but fairly soon, your dog should start looking expectantly at you as soon as they hear the marker. That’s because the marker (either a clicker or “Yes!”) always means a treat is coming.Start waiting for your to come dog out, and only mark if your dog looks at the cat and then looks right back at you. If they do, either click or use the verbal marker when your dog looks at you, and then offer a treat. Only do this if your dog can remain calm and relaxed around your cat.Once your dog is reliably looking at the cat and then looking back at you, you can slowly start moving closer and closer to the cat. If the dog becomes fixated on the cat when you move closer, you’ve gone past the threshold and need to move away.

  As you train your dog, the threshold will decrease, which means that the two of you will be able to move closer and closer to the cat. Continue practicing LAT with your dog until they can be right next to the cat without an issue. Again, how quickly your dog’s threshold decreases is hard to determine in advance and will depend on you (how much you practice and the types of treats you use), your dog (because every dog learns at a different pace), and your cat’s comfort level.

• Face-to-face introduction. This is a faster-paced introduction. One person should hold the dog on a loose leash and watch the dog’s body language while someone else watches the cat’s body language. If the cat is not raising their back or hissing around the dog, they can be allowed to move around. A cat is rarely a threat to a dog, but some cats will be on the offensive when meeting dogs, so both handlers need to stay engaged. If the dog is calm around the cat, you can ask the dog to sit (or lie down) and stay, if they’ve been taught those cues, while the cat moves about freely, sniffing the dog if they desire. The dog should be praised and rewarded for ignoring the cat. If the dog is too fixated on the cat (e.g., staring at the cat, has stiff body language, will not listen to you when you call their name) or if the dog lunges and tries to chase the cat, you should try a different strategy for getting them to share space, such as the slow and steady or “look at that” options.

Do not underestimate the effects of regular high-effort training.

However, the folks at Best Friends say it is possible that your dog might not ever be able to safely share space with a cat. If you don’t feel you can trust them around your cat one hundred percent, you should keep them apart. The number one priority should be ensuring that everyone stays safe.

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