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Someone Writes Hilarious Animal Reviews, And The Reason Why Dogs Get Only 4 Out Of 5 Stars Will Crack You Up
What's your favorite animal? We all have our preferences, often formed when we are kids and based on not much in particular. Mine is a fox, mainly because my favorite football team is nicknamed the Foxes, and they are clever and sly. Now Charlie, the brains behind 'Welcome to my meme page' has started giving the best reviews on animals in a tongue-in-cheek way, and they are tons of fun to read.
“I've been trying out different sorts of comedy writing formats for a while,” Charlie told Bored Panda. “Ideas come out of nowhere. One day I thought a funny review of Snakes would be hilarious and it got very popular, and I realized I could probably do a lot more of these without it getting too old.”
Such has been the popularity of Charlie's fake reviews, a book is now on the way. “A funny book of these reviews is in the works as well as a storybook and a mixed media variety book,” he told us. “I am a full-time writer - people seem to enjoy my stuff, and I somehow can attract an audience online with my sense of humor, so it seemed foolish not to try and see where I can take that.”
“My stuff helped me land me a job as a script intern on Conan for my last semester of college, and something about my experience working there and getting to talk to professional writers and comedians told me that I ought to try this for real. Books and games are in the works!”
Charlie really does have a knack for making people laugh, and his first batch of funny animal reviews prove it. From Badgers (sad creatures) to ants (unstoppable) these reviews hilariously highlight the pros and cons of individual species, with the absurdity of it all sure to bring an idiotic smile to your dial! If you just can't get enough, we have a previous post based on Amazon-style animal reviews that you can find here. Scroll down below to check them all out for yourself, and let us know what you think in the comments!
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Ants
Consider me ashamed of myself for being a space cadet and playing Jumpy Jumpy Shooty Shooty bing bing wahoo VIDEO GAMES!
Elephants
Spiders
Snakes
Parasitic Roundworms
Tables
Turtles
Birds
I must be tired because "eat our seeds and then go CACK" nearly made me spit coffee on my desk.
Jellyfish
They should really be one star because they can live forever...so they can sting you FOREVER, if nothing eats them. Its science Y'all.
You have never known horror until innocently walking on a beach, enjoying ocean breezes, iffy smells, and clouds, and you look down to see slimy blobs of goo everywhere invading the sand!!! Oh, Oh, the screaming and running and panicking.
Jelly fish can sting the heck out of you or even kill you. No stars from me
Ummm, Jellyfish are immortal are you kidding me with this review? They can clone themselves and shut down nuclear reactors after a disaster. I demand a redo, they are little heroes these things.
My sentiments exactly, because I have been stung, and there’s f**k all you can do to help.
You obviously don't know that there are some type of jellyfish which is immortal - Turritopsis dohrnii
My friend's nickname for me is Jelly - short for jellyfish. Pretty certain she'd agree with much of this review. I, however, take umbrage with "contemptible behaviour." Others wouldn't, but I do. Sort of. A little. Ok, never mind...
Rubbish, it is a myth and can make things worse. Rub half a fresh tomato on the sting. Make sure you take some to any beach where there are jelly fish warnings. Really effective. Takes 30 minutes approx based on size of sting but starts to help soothe soon. Just don't stop until the pain has gone.
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Moths
Crabs
"If you're too beautiful, the crabs might pinch you and never let go" made me choke on my tea!
Bears
Badgers
Raccoons
I rate this post 2 stars out of 5 for their hillarious writing style. 3 star has been deducted because there is no f*****g CAT in it!!!
I rate Fajarjarjar 4/5 stars for making this joke. One star has been deducted because idk
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So funny! Exactly what is required as an antidote to reading the news these days!
4/5 would read again. One point is deducted for contempt of badgers.
I rate this post 4/5 stars, 1 star has been deducted because there isn't MORE!
I LMAO! Deduct one star for leaving out possums! (See comment under "Raccoons")
Started reading this in Dungeon Keeper Gold narrator guy's voice at some point. Flowerhat.
I refuse to rate this post simply because someone beat me too it. I take several deductions, Which lowers my gross income.
I rate this post 2 stars out of 5 for their hillarious writing style. 3 star has been deducted because there is no f*****g CAT in it!!!
I rate Fajarjarjar 4/5 stars for making this joke. One star has been deducted because idk
Load More Replies... So funny! Exactly what is required as an antidote to reading the news these days!
4/5 would read again. One point is deducted for contempt of badgers.
I rate this post 4/5 stars, 1 star has been deducted because there isn't MORE!
I LMAO! Deduct one star for leaving out possums! (See comment under "Raccoons")
Started reading this in Dungeon Keeper Gold narrator guy's voice at some point. Flowerhat.
I refuse to rate this post simply because someone beat me too it. I take several deductions, Which lowers my gross income.
