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“She Accidentally Left A 2:45 VM”: 105 Wild Ways People Accidentally Found Out Their Partner Was Cheating
What a tangled web we weave when we conspire to deceive. Many cheaters will do whatever it takes to to cover their dirty tracks. Some get away with it. Others come clean...
Then there are those who never meant to get caught, but thanks to an unexpected and probably unwanted "accident," all their proverbial skeletons come tumbling out of the closet. Maybe they left a voicenote on their partner's phone by mistake, revealing things meant for another's ears. Perhaps the side piece wants to be the main dish so they spill the beans. However it happens, drama is sure to follow.
People have been sharing the ways they accidentally found out their SO was cheating, and many of the stories are proof that the truth does eventually prevail. Bored Panda has put together a list of the best tales of cheaters caught with their pants down, or otherwise compromised. Let us know which ones hit close to home by tapping the upvote button.
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#1
My wife tried calling and didn't hang up once it went to voicemail. She accidentally left a 2:45 VM. The VM consisted of her and her BF talking bad about me and how much happier she was with him.
At the time I was home with our kids and I thought she was 1,800 miles away to be with her dying father. Two years later we are divorced and her father is still alive.
RELATED:
#2
He died and his affair partner showed up to the funeral.
**Editing to answer the main question I'm being asked... I found out about the affair because she was sobbing like she was very close to him but I didn't recognize her.
I asked who she was and she told me everything. I then asked my family to make her leave because my kids were there and I didn't want to make a scene.
Janelle Collard 10 hours ago
That takes some nerve, to show up at a funeral when you're the affair partner.
#3
Left her Facebook logged in on my phone and i woke up to a lot of messages from the guy. It was supposed to be a trip to see her family. This was 3 days ago
Edit: Thanks everyone for the kind wishes. I should clarify, this is my wife, and we've been married for less than a year. The upside is we have separate property, and nothing joined. I have taken this as a learning experience, it's bad, don't get me wrong, but I guess you could say I've grown up a lot from this. There was a quote another user showed me that really stuck out to me Red flags look normal when you're wearing rose colored glasses There was a lot of sketchy things going on and because of this, I was sure I had to leave for my own mental health, as well as because I can't trust her. But, to anyone else going through this, stay strong, it gets better. I'm in a new town with literally 0 friends here, and I'm still finding a way to move on, one step, one day at a time. Feel free to message me, anyone if you want to talk, not just about this but about anything, life can feel very lonely, especially when people have chosen sides on this. Stay strong all, I believe in you
#4
I came home one day and my husband's work phone was going crazy. He had taken my son snow boarding and they weren't going to be home for awhile. I was trying to turn it off and found dozens of messages between him and another woman. He met her while he was working in China. He'd even offered to move her to the US and have her take my place. I confronted him and he swore he'd end it. Well he ended it with her and moved on with a lady in Israel where he was working. Found out about that one when I found photos of them on a trip to Egypt that he said he took alone. And I found out about the 3rd girlfriend when I found naked pictures of her on his tablet and phone. Finally left after that. I knew he'd never change and I don't think he ever truly loved me.
#5
"okay look I know you've been cheating on me"
"I haven't been chea-"
"it's okay, it's okay, I've been cheating on you too"
"....the hell?"
Been 12 years and it's still got me good.
#6
She sent me a picture of herself in the Bath, Then sent me a message afterwards saying "Oops, wrong person".
#7
IMessage linked to her computer. I was on her computer buying stuff off Amazon and she was sitting on the couch, feet from me, texting her ex. He was trying to get her to send him nudes and they were reminiscing about previous encounters. He was bragging about how he made her “leg shake” all the while I was watching the conversation in real time, right next to her. My adrenaline kicked in and I simply closed the computer and left the house without saying a word. This was over a year ago and I’m still fighting her for custody of our children.
Katharina Sei. 8 hours ago
A lot of women get creepy messages from men like demanding nudes or what they could do together, even if the women dislike them. So the important question is: did she went along?
#8
I got a phone call from an out of state number where I knew my bf was visiting at that time and had family there. So I answer assuming it was him. It was not. It was the gf he had in that town calling to tell me 1) she was pregnant and 2) there was a third girl
Another time I was doing laundry and a shirt that was not mine was in the pile.
Another time I ran into a mutual friend who said they had just seen my bf and his new gf. Asked if I had met her yet bc she was cool. Found out he had told all his friends we had broke up months prior (we hadn’t).
#9
She needed a new phone so I put it in my name since I was working, 2 hours after leaving the store and having lunch with me joking about how excited she was to get married I found a photoreel full of pictures she had been exchanging with her ex whilst transferring her stuff to her new phone.
I put 2 and 2 together and opened her text inbox and surprise! She had been texting him for months and sleeping with him for a few weeks.
Janelle Collard 10 hours ago
Hope OP wiped that phone and returned it. (if the store will take it back.)
#10
Someone sent me a 'video footage' of my ex with someone 'I did not need to worry about'. That leaves you devastated.
#11
My super genius ex wife complained about the cost of our joint cell phone bill. She told me I’m using it too much. I never used it except to call her phone which was free. So I looked over the bill and found the number to the dude she was cheating with.
#12
Asked me to fix something on her iPad...emails with airfare confirmations to see her ex boyfriend on the other side of the country popped up.
#13
Got a Facebook message from some lady telling me that my fiancée was a homewrecker. Apparently my ex was sleeping with this woman’s husband, and she was divorcing her husband because of it. Fortunately this happened the weekend before our wedding, so I dodged a bullet.
#14
After she left. She left her laptop, because she took the car. One day, I was bored, I used some app to decrypt skype message history.
For the last six months or so of our relationship, she made plans, to move with her next boyfriend. Love words, pictures, projects, a two year long flirt, everything was there. What they'd done when they met for week-long work-conference. She helped him choose their future appartment, she even moved to the other side of the earth, choosing a bad post-doctorate, just to be with him. Lines after lines of betrayal, hours of reading material.
#15
He sent me a message meant for her. He tried to play it off but he'd used a nickname he'd never called me and the message made no sense to the conversation we'd been having.
#16
Her boyfriend got tired of being the other guy and he (rudely) told me everything I needed to know.
#17
She pulled out her phone to take a video at my son's birthday celebration and there was a text on the phone saying "I love you too". F Jess.
#18
I counted the pictures.
This was in 2000, before everyone had a camera on their phone and you had to get your holiday snaps developed at the Walgreens photo lab.
She brought home the pictures of her vacation to see her "old high school friend" in Vegas, but there was something missing. See, back in the day the rolls of film were made up of exposures of 12, 24, 36 pics, etc. depending on the film you bought.
I went through the photos and it didn't add up. Literally. The 24 exposure roll only had 18 pics. Eventually I found the remaining photos...her and the new boyfriend looking happy.
#19
My co worker told me he saw her being carried to her car at 4am by another co worker of mine. She left this part of the story out when she stumbled home drunk that night. Confronted her, she confessed they made out.
Fast forward to present day and I’m still trying to recover from what she did to me. After this “kiss” she kept going with him and eventually slept with him twice. She told me both times. I literally had to walk into my apartment one day to find her in bed with him. I quit my job (we all worked together) and we broke up finally. That was three months ago. I’m still messed up. She was my best friend and all of a sudden set out to destroy me.
#20
I walked into the living room to find her passed out drunk on the couch with her phone in her hand. On the screen was the other guy, shirtless and in bed, skype.
I told her to leave, she left 2 days later. Told me she was going to her mom's.
She didn't go to her mom's.
Funny part is, we had been together for 8 years, she never worked a day and I didn't mind, I had enough for both of us. My credit's bad so all of our assets were in her name.
I stopped paying for her car, her insurance and her house.
Let's see that weenie you left me for do that by selling ink cartridges.
#21
Found them in bed together. Fairly typical, if such a thing exists? Thing that angers me the most is that I seriously had absolutely not the faintest idea, not even a smidgen of suspicion. And what angers me even more is how it changed me. The insecurity, the paranoia.
#22
The guy she cheated on with was a real bro and when he found out she did in fact have a boyfriend, messaged me saying that she cheated on me and he was sorry and she had told him she didn't have a boyfriend. When I confronted her about it, she denied it for about 30 seconds before starting to cry and admitting to everything.
#23
Party at my house. End of night, only a few friends left. Decide to crash out. Get up to go to the bathroom. Bathroom door is locked and lights are off. Strange. Knock on door, no answer. Wait for a few minutes and gf eventually pokes her head out and doesn't want to open door. Push door open and "best friend" is sitting there still trying to do up belt. Ouch. Drama ensues.
#25
She was sleeping with another guy on a cam site... that i happened to be on for research purposes.
#26
Ultimately didn't find out until after the divorce, but a very close friend of hers confided to me. I still haven't mentioned anything to anyone. Even her. Just decided to finally move on.
#27
She tried to silent her phone when I called, but I guess she accepted it instead... I heard her banging a dude loudly over the phone.
#28
Saw her being all flirty and mushy with a new guy at work. Whenever I would confront her about it, she would usually give me the "That's just how I am". Eventually got a sneak peek into her texts and saw her sending him spicy texts. This was about 4 months ago but still hurts as hell.
#29
My brother told me she asked to see his privates so he actually showed her. Easiest breakup I ever experienced. Brother got a light beat down by our dad which helped (teenager at the time).
#30
Dated for 2 years until one day, out of the blue she says she's not happy anymore and breaks up with me. It sucked but I figured it was for the best if she wasn't happy.
About a week after we had broken up I saw her at the bar with some guy who she sheepishly admitted she was on a date with. Later that night I end up standing next to him ordering drinks. He apologized to me for the awkwardness.
"yeah it's just weird since we've only been broken up for a few days and she's already dating."
He pauses
".....a few days? She and I have been seeing each other for like three months now."
We stared at each other for second. And then my ex comes running up to pull him away from me. He shrugged her off and told her to go f herself and then left the bar.
That's how I found out my ex had been cheating on me for 3 months before apparently guilt took hold and she broke up with me.
Update: I bumped into the other guy a few months later at a bar and we actually talked about it. It was weird hearing about it from his perspective. In his mind he had thought she was just really flaky but after speaking to me it just all clicked for him. And we went through some of the times when he couldn't reach her because she was with me and vice versa. Not sure how I didn't pick up on it. Either way I'm happily married now and I think she had to move home and live with her mom.
#31
She asked me to check her email for a phone number she needed. I ran across emails to and from her “soulmate,” sent and received while on vacation with our kids on Florida. I then understood all the poolside work she had to do while I played with our children in the pool not ten feet away.
I divorced her and remarried the mythical second wife, best choice ever. She remarried the follow up to her soulmate, who by every sign is a closeted gay man, not that there’s anything wrong with that. She continues to flat out lie, personally and professionally, to achieve her goals. Our youngest child is almost 18 and the gravy train called child support nears an end. The closeted gay man is in for the life of debt I escaped because she loves to spend.
#32
I was married for about 6 months and something just wasn't right... Finally one day her and I were driving in her car to her parents for an event and once I got there I dropped her off and said I wasn't feeling well, that I was going to go back home instead of staying. On my way home I stopped at a grocery store parking lot and tore her car apart.... Finally found a cell phone hidden behind the trunk liner.
Turned it on and read the text messages. All of the texts she sent to her boss saying she missed him and that she was on her way etc coincided with all of the times she said she was meeting her girlfriends for lunch or something. It was a phone he bought for her. I called the number and he was surprised it was me, her husband on the other end. I chewed him out and he played dumb. I explained he can keep her... I'm done. I called the wife from the same phone and told her I found her phone, don't bother coming home.
It was like a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. What I suspectedfor months was finally confirmed. I wasn't crazy. I went to Walmart and bought new deadbolts for the house. It turns out she had been sleeping with her boss for at least 6 months prior to our wedding as well. I'm like why even marry me then? I don't get it.
Man I wish I had access to gps trackers back then like we do now. That would have made things so much easier... hehe. Would have been much better to confront them at his house or at a motel etc. Oh well.
Once we separated... and I filed for divorce, Her maid of honor that was in our wedding reached out to me and next thing I know we're having drinks and began to date shortly thereafter. The soon to be ex-wife HATED that. Bonus.
#33
A receipt for flowers I never received, a short cut to a part of town that only local residents know and he wasn't from here, and someone at a dinner party asked him where she was as if they expected them together. That's the reverse order. The final blow was the receipt for flowers. That was 12 years ago. I guess it sticks with you.
#34
She had an iPhone and Macbook Air. They were synchronized and she had an problem with her Macbook.
I swear to god I opened the iMessage app on her Macbook by accident, wanted to click the icon next to it. But it immediately opened to a very suggestive conversation with some guy.
I only read 3 or 4 lines. I literally couldn't read more, I was about to marry her in 3 months. Then shut the laptop, walked up to her and bluffed I read everything. She broke down and confessed.
#35
Walking in on her in my bed.
Forgave her.
Second time all my friends were telling me she was cheating so i went to her house and knocked on the door. the same dude answered..
#36
My ex wife wasn’t cheating on me. Worse... she was TRYING to cheat and couldn’t close the deal.
She was in the shower one night and I was lying in bed watching a movie and her phone buzzed. I glanced at it and the text said something about “your husband”. So, now I’m curious... I look and she’s basically telling this dude she’s DTF and his response is: “I’m flattered, but I’ve seen pics of your husband and he’s a really big dude and proficient with firearms.” (Smart dude. I’m 6’2/220 a heavyweight jiu jitsu competitor, and a cop.)
So I start going They the phone and there’s like 3 other guys she’s sending underwear shots to, and ringing the dinner bell for, and all are saying no.
Here I am, working my bum off to make it work with this idiot, and these other dudes could bang her no strings and are like “pass”.
This was feb., Divorce was final in August. She didn’t get a dime, and I have the kids 90% of the time. I’m seeing an amazing girl, this broad is alone, swiping for losers on Tinder, and still finding no takers. Life pro tip: If you’re gonna be only like a 6-7 looks wise, you really need to be >5 personality wise. (She’s not).
#37
He said, “I love you Emily” in his sleep. Emily was one of my bridesmaids and she was also married.
#38
I drove two hours to surprise him at college on a long weekend and straight up found him in bed with the girl he specifically told me not to worry about.
F you ashleigh and your stupidly nice latina bum.
#39
She dumped me out of the blue. Couple of months later she posted pics of the two of them on a vacation. Year or so later they got married.
It hurts every day.
#40
Had a weird moment where I wanted to play a game on her phone while she wanted to sleep and she kinda wrestled the phone away from me and didn't let me use it. A bit of a red flag but I let it slip by.
A few weeks later we were on vacation and she was basically texting and hiding her phone from me with every change she got. Confronted her about what was going on and she told me she was texting with a guy from her new workplace but I shouldn't worry about it. Saw it as another red flag but let it go again.
First day after we got back from our trip she said she wanted to go out with her colleagues for some drinks (something she'd never done before) and told her to go out and have some fun. She came home with her makeup smeared a bit on her face and ran to the bathroom to brush her teeth immediately.
I was getting really suspicious by this point and installed a sort of a keylogger on her laptop and basically found out she stared going out with the work colleague she told me not to worry about. Ended it the next day. Five years down the drain.
#42
Had to poo one day while making a delivery near her apartment. Apartment doors all faced the inside courtyard so I parked, ran around front, knocked, told her AI had to use her bathroom. Did my business, kissed her, told her I'd call her later. Got back in the delivery van, my coworker pointed and asked "Is that her window?". I said it was, he just replied "That guy leaving in the Pontiac just came out of her window ".
#43
When the ‘work trip’ photos featured a landmark that’s been closed for renovation for two years. Google Maps is a silent hero.
#44
My mom found out about my dad bc he put the blankets back on the bed upside down and he actually did a load of laundry.
#45
I saw her slip a few hundred dollars out of the bank while she thought I wasn't looking. I'm never playing Monopoly with her ever again.
#46
Not me, but this happened to a client at the law firm I was interning at. She was filing for divorce on the ground of adultery. This is how she caught him:
- Wife (client)’s phone stops working one day. They go to the store to buy a new phone.
- Husband likes the phones on display a little too much. He suggests that she take his current phone as he is in need of an upgrade.
- Wife doesn’t mind and agrees.
- Husband buys new phone and hands over his old phone without logging out of his WhatsApp.
- Wife goes home and tries to use WhatsApp, and sees all the texts and pictures exchanged between him and his lover.
- Boom. Divorce.
None of this would have happened if he had just gotten her a new phone (of course he shouldn’t have cheated in the first place). During the divorce proceedings (in his written reply), he mentioned that he handed over the phone to his wife without erasing anything because he trusted her and that she by going through his texts, had broken his trust.
#47
He went out one night and I noticed he withdrew $500 from an ATM. I asked the next day what it was for and he said it was to get drinks, but he seemed cagey in his answer.
He was acting off over the next few days and I got a weird feeling so I snooped on his laptop and saw an email from an Uber trip from that night. I google mapped the address the uber went, and turns out it was a brothel.
#48
Her 2 best friends told me. They all went to house party and my girlfriend ended up sleeping with some random dude. Apparently they were so loud everybody at the party heard. Her friends were disgusted by her behavior.
#49
We were supposed to go out but she said she was sick and wanted to be alone to rest then my friend text me asking when I was going to go to the party(a party I didn’t know was going on) because my gf was there.
Apparently she went with another guy.
#50
She was taking a shower, left her phone on the dining room table and saw multiple notifications from several dating apps. Felt like a gut punch. I packed and left before her shower was finished.
#51
Oddly enough, it was right here on Reddit! When we broke up I didn't feel like I quite had the closure I needed. It felt like I was missing something that led to the break-up. Something didn't feel right.
A year or so prior she had introduced me to Reddit, so we were friends with each other. I don't remember what it was exactly, but I remember seeing some comment dialogue with another Redditor that seemed unusual. I checked his profile and he had been posting about meeting and dating someone who sounded similar to my ex around the time things were going south for us. I reached out to him and after a conversation we determined that we were talking about the same person, he even knew of me and thought she and I were just friends.
I confronted her and she admitted to cheating. It absolutely devastated me at the time, but I slowly picked up the pieces and put myself back together. Ultimately I'm better off now and found my wonderful wife.
On the other hand, my ex ended up cheating on the Redditor as well. I definitely dodged a bullet.
#52
Boyfriend of 7 years and soon to be fiancé received a new work phone and asked me to help him transfer everything over as I am very tech savvy. The data migration tool I used had a window that showed the contents of what was being moved. He and I were sitting on the couch next to each other with my laptop when a ton of explicit messages and images were shown on screen.
I was totally in shock. Not once had I ever suspected him of cheating but come to find out he was having flings with various women while on business trips.
If it wasn't for that, I may have never found out. We had a very happy, healthy, and strong relationship and none of his behavior was ever suspicious. In the end, I left him and I have never had any regrets.
In a previous relationship, I caught my then boyfriend in bed with my roommate after coming home from my grandmothers funeral a day early.
#53
I got a Facebook message request from someone I wasn't at all connected to. I accepted it and it turned out to be the SO of someone my husband was cheating with. The guy provided evidence, including recordings of voicemails my husband had left the woman. Complete & utter surprise; we'd been married over 10 years. He'd been cheating on work trips for almost a year. I think the guy just wanted to blow up my husband's life - and he did.
#54
Her best friend called me and told me, so I did the only logical thing and slept with her too.
Trevor Hardy 14 hours ago
Hardly logical. Couldn't have been that devastated to come to such a decision so quick and obviously had an attraction to the friend anyway
#56
I used to say "i've never been cheated on."
now i say "i've never been cheated on, to my knowledge".
#57
He said he didn’t have a Facebook account, but one day I saw that he had the app on his phone... so I searched him up, and a little stalking later found out:
1. His name wasn’t Sam, that was the dog’s name
2. He had a wife, and the “family vacation” he had gone on a few months back was actually his wedding
3. I was definitely the side chick
The confrontation was... unpleasant. We’d been together for almost two years, and looking back from where I am now I realize he’d always been a manipulator. But I didn’t want to see it for what it was. I eventually left him, but some days I’m not sure I’m over him. That relationship broke me.
#58
Her friend told me out of spite in an effort to break my heart because she hated me for being atheist. Turned out to be one of the nicest things someone has ever done for me, but forever skewed my concept of what makes a "good" christian.
#59
My ex wife always had a way of clamming up and becoming miserable if she wanted to tell me something, but wouldn't for days. This time was different. Nearly a week during my Christmas vacation she was the worst. The final days of vacation it came out that she had slept with her ex, Tyler. She ran out shortly after. I'll spare the major details but we're now divorced. Hard to trust anymore, but I only have myself to deal with these days.
#60
She walked up the stairs all quiet one night, and I just felt something off. I came out in the hallway to catch her and said, "Were you cheating on me?" She replied, "How did you know?" -- I didn't, it was just a feeling.
Detroit Citizen 2 hours ago
That happened to me as well. I just had the worst gut feeling i had and have ever had. It started off as just feeling a tad off, kinda queasy. But the wierd feeling kept getting worse. AND i just couldnt get her (my ex) off my mind, like at all. We were in a rough patch ngl, so i didnt want to text her and "ruin" her night out. I was bad with my own self esteem tbh. But never had i had her, an image of her (that mental image you get of ppl) and her name out of my head before. I thought I was loosing my mind actually. An hour or so into this bad feeling i get hit with the most overwhelming nauseous feeling. Like double over kind. If you know me, you know i dont nauseous . After several minutes, less than 10 it all subsided. I felt normal. She comes home an hour or two later, and her eyes were dark. She has the brightest blue eyes, the kind you notice bright. It was like the light in her was out. So kinda looking for a fight, i asked her if she cheated. Flatly said YUP. I felt her cheat
#61
Hair of the other guy on my pillow. Found it early one morning, and picked it up and went 'hey, whose is this? Tony's?" and it was.
#62
I phoned him after being told I was suffering a miscarriage, and a woman picked up to question who I was and why my name was all over her boyfriend’s phone. He blocked me as soon as I hung up after telling her everything and I haven’t heard from or seen him since. This was years ago, I’ve recently lost another baby and my partner has looked after me so well, I don’t know how I survived going through it all on my own the first time on top of discovering my ex had been cheating.
#63
God this is terrifying and triggering. My ex cheated on me lots and the dummy left his phone out with text preview so when I came home from a vacation he was passed out druk with phone on table and preview message of from a woman describing the x rated things they did together while I was out of town.
Really hurt me badly and traumatized me.im in a new relationship now and hyper vigilant but it causes me so much anxiety even with a partner who hasn’t shown cheating signs. Tomorrow we are celebrating valentines together and I saw a small gift box of chocolates hidden in his fridge and im so terrified they aren’t for me.I’ll find out tomorrow but giving me so much anxiety.
#64
I saw the guy she told me not to worry about change his relationship status. Asked her about it and she became a nervous wreck and told me. Last week was quite something.
#65
By trying to have a friendly conversation with her now boyfriend (we were friendly acquintances at the time). Was asking him how things were and he mentioned offhandedly that he and my ex had been dating for three weeks.
Furious at my discovery, I called my ex immediately to get the closure I deserved. Lacking any form of compassion for a man who just had his heart ripped out, he advised me not to do it because she had a big exam the next day, to which I said "no, f that" (when I had a big exam, she kept me up all night saying she was going to end herself). He then proceeded to call me a child for not waiting for her to complete her exam before calling her to talk about it and that I was getting too upset.
Her grade tanked and they both blamed me for causing her emotional distress.
To top it all off, this was about a week after we had a big fight where she essentially told me that I wasn't good enough for her anymore. Oh the irony.
EDIT: Since this post got bigger than I ever expected it to, I'd like to clarify that the parts where..
-He called me a child
-She told me her grade had tanked
-They blamed me for it
Were all told to me by my ex girlfriend. Whether these statements are true or not is not something I have the answer to, this is just my understanding of the event. I apologize to the person in question and they are welcome to message me privately so we can work it out.
#67
His best friend's wife told me *accidently*, because my ex-husband failed to get his story straight with his buddy/scapegoat, then after the divorce was final he admitted it in a ploy to get me back.
XH told me he had been working late, then met his buddy for drinks. I talked to buddy's wife (we were friends, I was oblivious, I didn't go out hunting for info) that weekend at a dinner party and she mentioned a big decision they'd spent the evening discussing the same night XH was supposedly out drinking with him. It's really that dumb, because he could have just said he worked even later and had a beer at work or when he got home *before me*, and I'd have been none the wiser.
After the divorce, I found out he'd been with "Maria" for months and had managed to keep it from all his friends. His friends only found out about her when he dumped her to try to "call off the divorce" but I was long gone by then, moved 4 states away and started a new life, and he cried to his friends when his stunt didn't work out and now he'd lost us both.
If I'd been smarter, I'd have known *WAAAAY* sooner, because he had messed up and spilled the beans himself early on after he started seeing her, and blew it off as a joke "about his other life". That's how "oh, I was out with Maria *har har har*" became a joke in our (soon to be short lived) marriage. The joke seemed plausible (as just a joke) and funny at the time, because we lived together, worked together, had the same friends, and spent most of our time together (or so it seemed) so when could he have actually found the time to cheat - but he did.
The worst part of it all (at least that part) is that I am *poly* and would have been fine with "Maria" if he'd been honest with me about her. I was having medical issues so his physical needs weren't being met, and instead of talking to me about it like an adult and working it out, he cheated and lied and then divorced me when his own guilt overwhelmed him. We had other issues in our marriage, and I'm glad it ended the way it did and when it did - turned out to be the best thing he ever did for me, but it was all just so dumb and immature.
#68
Told me that they were friends. Then proceed to sent me a picture of him and her sleeping together.
#69
Small changes in behavior, dress, and grooming habits... for working the closing shift at a fast food resturant. Followed her to a motel after she got out of work and confronted them. Kicked her out shortly after(I tried to make it work) and eventually filed for divorce after finding out how miserable she was without him on a solo trip out of state (I paid for to "help her find herself again") . Bad times. Basically became a solo parent while she found herself. She found herself alright. Found herself pregnant before the divorce was even final.
#70
I looked at the askreddit post mentioning emotional cheating...
Checked my S.O’s phone then broke up with her.
#71
After a year and a half of marriage to a lovely careing partner she suddenly stopped being loving. Went to South Africa to "see her mom". Little contact, ended up staying for 6 weeks instead of 2. Came back furious at me for panicking because she never wanted to talk to me and wouldn't tell me what was going on, she announced she was going to spend six months in South Africa because we were having troubles and her mom wasn't well. Insisted that I must support her financially the whole time... We argued about this but she would not budge- I decided to wait and see before I gave her anything.
She left. I hacked into her blackberry. Found hundreds of texts emails and photos showing she had been planning this with a guy, an ex over there, for months. Also found texts and messages to and from another one of her exes arranging hookups going back over a year, including while all this went on. There was more, but I couldn't take going through more. Gave it all to a divorce lawyer. And then the mask really dropped, her real personality came out... She came back, blamed me for EVERYTHING because I was "jealous"- total projection, of course, insisting I go for counseling, saying I had crossed the line... She tried to totally break me, make me submit and let her do everything openly that she did in secret before. I threw her out, but had to call the police on her when she broke into my house.
I wasn't the best husband, but I was a good one, and I really tried to make our marriage perfect, I did so much soul searching to try to see what I had done to deserve this... But I told her to go to hell and one very expensive divorce later I was finally free.
TLDR hacked into blackberry to find I was married to a sociopath.
#72
First time:Her friend didn't outright tell me, but hinted very strongly. At the time my (now ex) wife and I lived in a bad area so we had set up security cameras. She didn't think I had any reason to check them, or maybe just forgot they were there, either way caught on camera.
I gave her 2 months to come clean. The first I didn't say anything, and the second I did what I could to try to guilt her into telling me.
To this day, even with the evidence and the kid, conceived while we were together, she still won't admit it.
Second time (different girl): We were already having issues so she went to stay with "her friend". Gave her the benefit of the doubt, but when she came back I saw texts from the other guy.
4 and 8 years later they are both still trying to "fix things". Never gonna happen.
#73
Junior year of college, two years into what I thought was a serious relationship, we go for a walk around campus and eventually she says, "I think I have feelings for (Male Friend, ostensibly platonic)."
I had suspisions about MFOP, but told myself that I was probably being a stupid jealous boy. Straight people with opposite genitalia can be friends, we have a black president (this would have been during the Obama years), so I tried to shrug it off. I will say that I had taken note that I was rarely invited to hang out with her and her group of 4-5 friends which included MFOP but I always had a way of rationalizing it and brushing off the vibes I thought I might have been picking up. So as to say, this had been something I had thought was maybe a possibility but that I actively shamed myself for thinking/tried to quash from within for months-to-possibly-years at this point (exact time line is hazy).
So I say, "Like, have you kissed?" I'm still fairly naive but it was worse back then, so this was where my mind goes first.
She pauses. "...Yeah."
I think on the tone in her voice here for a second. "Have you slept with him?"
Sad eyes, which had been aimlessly darting around the sidewalk upon which we strolled slowly look up at meet mine with guilt. A slow nod, my heart sinks. (Looking back, I don't know why it bothered me more that they slept together than that she had feelings for him to the point of feeling like she needed to tell me. The feelings are definitely more devastating as the cheat-ee, but something about it bothered me on what felt like a very instinctual, animalistic level.)
"Well, what the hell am I supposed to do with that?" I say, and what follows is genuinely pretty pathetic. I remember telling friends later that I was really digging for some place to justify this for her, I wanted to find some grey area where maybe this is just a misunderstanding and she maybe didn't know exactly what she was doing (I asked her if it had not been clear that our relationship was monogamous -- I never said "let's go steady" but had been seeing each other and spending most nights together for like a year and a half at this point. she even responded that no, she knew what this was.)
I wanted there to be some fact that could be explained to me that would make it clear/even understandable/forgivable. That space didn't exist, really. But I was going through a particularly rough time with my mental health -- I was extremely emotionally vulnerable and going through a lot of financial/personal BS due to clinical depression/anxiety, was in the process of losing my college scholarships/eventually dropping out.
So being in this volatile and unstable state, I basically tried really hard to make things work with this girl, we end up dating for like a year AFTER she told me she had been cheating. Don't really have a great explanation as to why I put myself through that additional year. Obviously things were not great with the cloud hanging over everything -- she was insisting that she was no longer having intercourse with MFOP, despite the fact that she was still hanging out with him alone/in the group of friends she would see but not invite me to come with (again, I would rationalize this -- it would just be uncomfortable given what has transpired, I'm sure that's why I'm not invited, no other reason, surely).
She eventually breaks up with me, citing the need to work on herself, a realization she had apparently discussed with her therapist. I was devastated, despite everything, despite that miserable hanging Chad year when I knew I was just fooling myself but felt so unlovable and incapable that I just am stayed because it seemed better than the alternative.
Needless to say, she goes public with MFOP about a week later, they're living together a few months after that, I find out they never really stopped and that he wasn't even the only dude in that group of 4-5 she had been sleeping with. I hit a low spot for a few months, ended up finding a SO who treats me with respect and who helped lift me out of the deepest caverns of depression. Now the ex works at a starbucks, she and MFOP are broken up and his bald spot has become unavoidable. I'm doing much better. You don't really shake the noonday demon, but I have a career and a cat and a woman who loves me so things are good.
And, oh, f you, Mary.
#75
Finally something I can share. Was in a relationship for 5 years with someone. I came back from a business trip and went over to her place. I was away for around 2 months.
So yeah. She was in the toilet. My phone turned off and I decided to play with her phone till she came out. Was gaming on it when she got a text from someone. So yeah. I read it. And some more. And some more. Then I found the pictures...
Basically she was cheating on me with some guy she met when I had left.
She came out and asked me what was wrong. I got up and left before I could do anything I would regret. Yeah. Cooled down. Came back. Broke things off and left.
Messed up part is I had wedding rings in my pocket. I was going to propose that night..
#76
So one day, I’m scrolling TikTok. I like longer videos of people talking and I scroll onto a video of a girl talking about her dating life. I liked the video and even commented agreeing with her (relevant later).
I guess because I interacted with her video I started getting all of her new videos. I would like them if I thought they were funny but that was it. She’s not famous or anything, a handful of followers but she posts little story times. One day, I notice there’s a little badge that says “friends with (my bf)” on her video. I thought it was really weird considering she only had 10 followers. I asked him about it and he said she followed him so he just followed her back. We obviously fought over that but the girl does live in our city and my boyfriend posts a lot of gym content so it was plausible that she found his account and followed him first.
Months pass, and I get the dreaded “hey girl” message from her. She explained that she thought I knew because of my passive aggressive comment on her video, but my boyfriend had broken up with her and told her I didn’t know so she decided to tell me.
The video was her talking about men choosing stable choices instead of her (the fun choice) and just being frustrated about always being second. I just commented something like “you’ll find your person” so I now see how that came off as passive aggressive had I known they were hooking up.
Edit because this got way more attention than I thought! He is obviously an ex, and has been since that situation 2 years ago! I have not spoken to either of them at all since the day I found out.
#77
Was playing with daughter on Moms iPad and momma sent FB Messenger messages from her phone to the dude she was cheating with which also pinged the iPad.
#78
GF broke up with me and years later got married and we still had the same friend group so I was invited to the wedding. Her sister gave a speech and when she explained when they first started dating we were still together at that time. Years later a guy who was around the group mentioned he also slept with her drunkenly while we were together. So… a two for one. Oddly enough she’s very religious.
#79
He was unpacking and telling me about a work trip when an opened box of condoms in his suitcase caught my eye. We were literally trying to get pregnant — so condoms were unnecessary for him.
The next day, I checked his iPad while he was at work, and he had been doing it for about a year, with lots of different people.
#81
2 days before my husband passed away he told me he had been with over 20 men during our 25 year marriage. I
It’s been over 4 years and I’m still in shock and haven’t cried one tear over the loss.
#84
I didn't find out until after we were separated because I had 2 young children to take care of. The lady (a coworker of his) approached me in the grocery of our little town. She felt sorry for me. She said that the times he called & said he was offered 4 hours overtime, he was actually at her apartment.
#85
His Apple Watch, I still remember we were watching a movie and suddenly a message popped up saying “look what I cooked for you love” not the best feeling ngl.
#86
My daughter n son in law went for A romantic Valentine's dinner. My ex was at the same restaurant with another woman. He told me he was going to be playing video games with his son. Yeah, what a POS.
#87
Sat on the wet spot on the couch the morning after, tried claiming it was because one of the kids jumped on the couch with wet boots. That one stung a bit.
#88
Was transferring myself his share of rent from his phone because he fell asleep before doing so and it was due that day. Completely innocent.
“OF LONDON” OF LONDON” “Onlyfans” “OF LONDON”
My sisters onlyfans.
#89
Found an email asking for a BJ from a gal when he was in the area for work. They would meet on a dirt road off the main road. He literally had white magnetic cover ups for the logo on his work truck.
#90
I didn't suspect anything at all and a girl reached out to me on Instagram and sent a Pic of him and asked, is this your boyfriend. I said yea, who are you? She sent me a picture from her date with him and was like, lol twinsies. It was more comical, I basically broke up with him via text and messaged girl, who also send a screenshot that she broke up with him like a few minutes before I did. We follow each other on insta now and occasionally like and comment on each other pictures.
#91
Playing a level on a game on her phone she couldn't get past. A WhatsApp came in and I tried to flick it away and it opened, it was a message from another dude and above it was a selfie she had sent. I scrolled briefly and saw the photos they had been exchanging...
#94
Text from one of her friends who felt bad. After she initiated a divorce and it was finalized. I blocked everyone who I thought would reasonably know if that friend knew and left the state. Started over somewhere else.
#95
She wanted to show me a picture on her phone and I accidentally saw a picture of her doing snow. I started questioning her because we were clean for about a year at that point, and after a few hours she finally admitted she went to a rave and spent the night at some guys place while I was away.
The funny thing is that she was the one the one who wanted us to lay off that stuff in the first place.
Yeah I’m a guy, sorry for invading your space. I’m lurking here so I can be a better boyfriend.
#96
Went for a tarot reading as a joke. She told me he was meeting up with women behind my back, messaging other girls, completely deceptive and that the relationship would end soon, after checking his phone.
I laughed and scoffed. Gut feeling told me to check his phone. Wasn’t laughing for long.
#97
Handed me his phone so I could get some footage of his sports team playing for their team’s insta. While he was on the field a snapchat notification popped up, a girl’s name with a red heart by it. Clicked on it, read the chat. The rest is history.
#98
Bra under his bed. said it's his mom's.
#99
He told me he was bi when we were rolling on Molly once. In another instance he told me he cheated on an ex girlfriend and bragged that she didn’t even notice he had changed underwear for the new partner.
What do ya know? A new (to me) guy friend is hanging around and he’d go off with this guy friend for which apparently they were old pals. He came back wearing new underwear and immediately throwing them away.
I put 2 and 2 together that he was this dude behind my back. I’m guessing the “guy pal” had an underwear preference that my then partner didn’t particularly like, so he threw those underwear in the trash, in front of me.
I called him out on it. He screamed in my face as to intimidate me. He noticed I was wearing his hoodie and ripped it off me. Then grabbed a shoe to hit me with.
This was years ago. I left the next day and haven’t seen him since.
So if you notice a sudden change in underwear, that’s a **HUGE** red flag.
#101
On our 2 year anniversary he took us to get a couples massage and then some tea. He was going to post a picture of the tea on his Snapchat story when I saw he had a private story that I have never seen. I wasn’t in that private story, I asked if he had girls on that story and he said yes. But he didn’t have me.. later that night he took a picture of me to post on his Snapchat story. Since earlier he hid the private story to me. I asked to see his story settings. He was hiding his main story from one girl… to hid the fact that we were dating and it was our 2 year anniversary.
#102
Which time? Haha. It’s sad really. The first time, I got this really intense feeling while we were making out, like a panic response. I left immediately and he had left his cell phone in my car. This was before passcodes so I found a lot of incriminating texts and videos. The second time, I found long blonde hairs on his carpet. I’m brunette.
#104
I had a dream I looked at his iPad and he had been speaking to his ex on fb messenger and met up. Woke up, checked his iPad and it was true. Hate dreaming about bad stuff now.
#105
He accidentally texted me, instead of her, arranging the details on spending the night with her while I was home with our 6-month-old son... Yea, divorce quickly followed.
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What do you think ?
Exhausted redneck hippie 2 hours ago
I'm guessing that in some of these situations, the cheated-on partner had a secondary way of confirming the affair, like maybe a direct confession. Some of them have plausible non-cheating explanations.
Exhausted redneck hippie 2 hours ago
I'm guessing that in some of these situations, the cheated-on partner had a secondary way of confirming the affair, like maybe a direct confession. Some of them have plausible non-cheating explanations.
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