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Dad Defends His Teen Daughter After She Yelled At Unwanted Guest For Destroying Her B-Day Cake
We all want to be liked, respected, and admired. That’s completely natural. However, some people take their sense of entitlement and attention-seeking ways much too far. If left to go wild, that kind of behavior isn’t just annoying, it can actually end up hurting someone’s feelings. Badly.
Dad u/Alarmed_Giraffe_5284 turned to the AITA online community for advice about an incredibly sensitive situation. He shared how the class clown ruined his daughter’s birthday party, causing her to snap. Now, he’s refusing to force her to apologize for her honest reaction. You’ll find the full story and various internet users’ nuanced thoughts about the situation below. Meanwhile, Bored Panda has reached out to the author for comment, and we’ll update the article as soon as we hear back from him.
RELATED:
It’s natural to want to celebrate your birthday with your friends and avoid people who make you feel miserable
Image credits: Polina Tankilevitch (not the actual image)
One anonymous dad shared how the class clown ruined his daughter’s birthday, making her snap and call the teenager out publicly
Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual image)
Image credits: EyeEm (not the actual image)
Image credits: Alarmed_Giraffe_5284
Excessive attention-seeking might suggest that the person has more serious issues
It can be difficult to know whether a person simply lacks self-esteem and therefore tries to get attention from everyone, or if there’s something even deeper at play here. They may, for instance, have histrionic personality disorder or HPD.
According to the Cleveland Clinic, HPD is a mental health condition that is marked by intense, unstable emotions and a distorted self-image.
“For people with histrionic personality disorder, their self-esteem depends on the approval of others and doesn’t come from a true feeling of self-worth. They have an overwhelming desire to be noticed and often behave dramatically or inappropriately to get attention. People with histrionic personality disorder often don’t realize their behavior and way of thinking may be problematic.”
Often, HPD, which is a relatively rare disorder affecting just 1% of people, begins in an individual’s late teenage years or early twenties.
Broadly speaking, people with HPD do whatever it takes to draw attention to themselves. They are often excessively and superficially emotional in order to stay in the proverbial spotlight.
The Cleveland Clinic explains that someone with HPD might:
- Feel depressed or underappreciated if they’re not the center of attention
- Have emotions that change very quickly
- Need instant gratification, easily becoming bored or frustrated
- Constantly want approval and reassurance
- Be overly dramatic, even if it means embarrassing family and friends in public
- Be excessively concerned with their physical appearance and behave in a charming, flirtatious manner
- Have a presence that is larger than life
- Act inappropriately with the people they meet
- Have very strong opinions and speak very dramatically
- Be easily influenced by people they admire
- Have difficulty maintaining their relationships
- Believe that their relationships are stronger than they actually are
Image credits: ivhomich (not the actual image)
Being funny and entertaining others is fine, so long as you respect others and don’t cross common-sense boundaries
It’s tough being a teenager. You’re still learning about what kind of behavior is and isn’t acceptable. You desperately want to be accepted by your peers. And often it’s hard to control your reactions.
In a perfect world, everyone would get along with their classmates. But this isn’t a perfect world. Some folks simply don’t vibe with each other. Their characters and interests clash. And, to be honest, that’s okay. Not everyone has to be friends with everyone else, so long as they treat each other with basic courtesy.
It’s not the end of the world if someone wants to invite just their closest friends to their birthday party. The child’s parents shouldn’t be secretly inviting random kids to the event just because they felt socially pressured to by someone else. It’s best to check in with your child before you invite anyone who they’re incredibly uncomfortable with spending time around.
The thing is that everyone loves a good laugh from time to time. And you’ve probably known at least one clown in your class, constantly goofing around and making people chuckle with their antics. However, it becomes a problem when the class clown’s activities start bordering on bullying.
It’s a big issue if their way of entertaining others (and themselves) constantly relies on making fun of someone else, teasing them, and pranking them. Ruining someone’s birthday cake isn’t funny. It’s not amusing. It’s just plain mean. That’s no way to treat someone on their birthday, while you’re a guest.
Ideally, nobody would yell at anyone, and they’d call out awful behavior in a calm and collected manner. But, to be honest, the teenager’s reaction was very authentic and honest. You can’t fault her for that. She knew the class clown was problematic, which is why she didn’t want her at her birthday in the first place.
What are your thoughts about the entire birthday drama, dear Pandas? Who do you think was in the wrong? How would you have handled the situation if your child’s classmate tried to derail the party? What would you do if your kid were trying to get attention by doing hurtful things? Let us know what you think in the comments at the bottom of this post.
Image credits: freepik (not the actual image)
Later, the dad shared a bit more context about the tense situation
Some folks thought that the dad was perfectly right not to force his daughter to apologize for her reaction
However, other people thought that the dad was at fault for how he handled things, too
And some internet users thought that absolutely everyone involved was in the wrong. Here’s their take
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What do you think ?
Jo Firth 4 months ago
For all the YTA's who claimed it was wrong to invite everyone except the lovely Kelly ... she demonstrated why she wasn't invited in the first place. Kelly needs to learn to play nicely with others or she will always be the only one not invited.
Papa 4 months ago
And the YTA's who said OP should have done this or that instead are way too free with advice that they likely wouldn't follow if they were the one in that situation.
Load More Replies...
Beak Hookage 4 months ago
Not letting her call someone out for doing something that rotten is teaching her "intolerance" now? NO! Tolerating things that are completely unacceptable isn't tolerance; it's being a DOORMAT. It drives me absolutely bugnuts that people keep weaponising tolerance so victims of bullying will feel obliged to just lie down and take it.
Emilu 4 months ago
Ugh. I've been one of those kids that hasn't been invited to something and it sucks. Kelly, however, also sounds like she sucks. She's not a toddler; she's old enough to take responsibility for her actions and know not to run her grotty finger through someone else's birthday cake. Ex, and Kelly's mum both obviously suck, so I won't elaborate there. I'm a bit torn about the rest, though. 7/8 is definitely enough for the mum to cry 'exclusion' (and from the sounds of it, she would), and it does look that way. At the same time, though, I don't think anyone would want a Kelly at their party, either.
Kari Panda 4 months ago
I was also the kid who was never invited, but it was because we were the poorest family by far, and it showed in various ways. Kelly however simply is an a*****e. Excluding children for reasons that are not their fault is wrong, but excluding someone because they’re a jerk? That is very much appropriate.
Load More Replies... Jo Firth 4 months ago
For all the YTA's who claimed it was wrong to invite everyone except the lovely Kelly ... she demonstrated why she wasn't invited in the first place. Kelly needs to learn to play nicely with others or she will always be the only one not invited.
Papa 4 months ago
And the YTA's who said OP should have done this or that instead are way too free with advice that they likely wouldn't follow if they were the one in that situation.
Load More Replies... Beak Hookage 4 months ago
Not letting her call someone out for doing something that rotten is teaching her "intolerance" now? NO! Tolerating things that are completely unacceptable isn't tolerance; it's being a DOORMAT. It drives me absolutely bugnuts that people keep weaponising tolerance so victims of bullying will feel obliged to just lie down and take it.
Emilu 4 months ago
Ugh. I've been one of those kids that hasn't been invited to something and it sucks. Kelly, however, also sounds like she sucks. She's not a toddler; she's old enough to take responsibility for her actions and know not to run her grotty finger through someone else's birthday cake. Ex, and Kelly's mum both obviously suck, so I won't elaborate there. I'm a bit torn about the rest, though. 7/8 is definitely enough for the mum to cry 'exclusion' (and from the sounds of it, she would), and it does look that way. At the same time, though, I don't think anyone would want a Kelly at their party, either.
Kari Panda 4 months ago
I was also the kid who was never invited, but it was because we were the poorest family by far, and it showed in various ways. Kelly however simply is an a*****e. Excluding children for reasons that are not their fault is wrong, but excluding someone because they’re a jerk? That is very much appropriate.
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