Single Dad Of 3 Livid Over Teacher Giving His Family Info To Press, Wonders If He Overreacted Here
A new school year is starting and new school stories are guaranteed. Amusing and sad, hilarious and ridiculous – that’s why school years are a time to remember for a long time. School teachers give us knowledge about the world around us, but are these people so perfect themselves?
Probably the user u/Low_Baker_1898, who told us this story, will definitely say that teachers can be completely unreasonable and behave in the stupidest ways of all. In any case, this tale is definitely worth reading, so please feel free now to scroll down.
The author of the post is a single dad with three sons born by surrogate mothers
Image credits: Yan Krukau (not the actual photo)
Some of the guy’s kids attend school and the teacher definitely knows they were born by surrogacy
Image credits: Low_Baker_1898
Recently, a magazine reporter called the dad offering to interview him for an article about men resorting to surrogacy
Image credits: Edmond Dantès (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Low_Baker_1898
It turned out that the reporter was the school teacher’s friend and it was she who disclosed all the information about the family
Image credits: Antoni Shkraba
Image credits: Low_Baker_1898
The dad didn’t report the teacher to the school board but just cussed her out, demanding she behave like an adult
So, the Original Poster (OP) admits that he belongs to that small but growing cohort of men who want to experience all the joys of parenthood while avoiding marriage. In his own words, the man resorted to the help of a surrogate three times, and is now the proud father of three boys, aged 5 to 10 years.
It’s school time for the kids, and the author of the post spoke about the specifics of his family to some parents of other children. According to him, the initial reaction was curiosity, but then people realized that they were just an ordinary family, and everything moved on, as always. With one, not the most pleasant, exception.
One of the OP’s sons’ 2nd grade teacher also knew that all of his kids were born by surrogate mothers, and one day the dad got a call from a magazine reporter asking for an interview for an article about men resorting to surrogacy. Yes, that’s right – the reporter somehow knew all the personal data, the OP’s phone number, his name and the names of all his kids, and even the dad’s job.
To a completely logical question – where did they get all this information from, the reporter admitted that they were friends with the teacher, and she told them everything. After refusing to be interviewed and hanging up, the OP asked the teacher the next day who even gave her the right to disclose personal information about him and his children to the press. To this, the woman answered in surprise that she was sure he would be interested in becoming the hero of such an article. The fact that such behavior is completely unacceptable is something the teacher obviously did not think about.
The original poster did not formally complain about the teacher’s behavior to the school board, but instead simply told her off, recommending growing up as soon as possible. Imagine his surprise when, a few days later, the vice principal reached out and asked him to be lenient with the teacher, “because she’s young and lives online.” Apparently, the teacher expected the OP to report her to higher-ups and actually initiated a new round of this story, although the author, according to him, “isn’t even mad at her anymore.”
Image credits: Tima Miroshnichenko (not the actual photo)
“In any case, what happened can be interpreted as the disclosure of personal information obtained through an official position to third parties, and this is at the very least completely unprofessional,” says Volodymyr Nemertsalov, a teacher and school principal from Odessa, Ukraine, whom Bored Panda asked for a comment on this case. “Such an act should be considered by the board and in some cases the case may end in dismissal. Or at least a severe reprimand.”
“As for the father’s decision not to report this situation to the school board, it seems to me erroneous. In any case, this is a serious issue regarding the safety of the students, and in order to avoid the recurrence of such cases, the board must take measures. I cannot agree with the statement the vice principal made here, where they actually sided with the teacher. The safety of children is the highest priority, and such precedents should not be repeated. Even if at the cost of losing one of the school’s employees,” Volodymyr states.
Many people in the comments agree with the expert’s opinion, reasonably arguing that if the original poster and the teacher were, for example, in the UK or EU, then such cases would be classified as a violation of the law there, and the hapless teacher would quite possibly end up getting sacked. “Giving that much information out on your students is a HUGE breach of privacy,” one commenter wrote.
According to The Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act (FERPA), “schools may disclose, without consent, ‘directory’ information such as a student’s name, address, telephone number, date and place of birth, honors and awards, and dates of attendance. However, schools must tell parents and eligible students about directory information and allow parents and eligible students a reasonable amount of time to request that the school not disclose directory information about them.” Thus, what the teacher did is most likely a violation of the law, with all the ensuing consequences. And the original poster has every right to claim privacy protection for his children.
If you want some more interesting school stories, we can suggest, for example, this post of ours about a new school superintendent who once ordered a countryside school principal to hold a parents’ meeting at a time that seemed more appropriate to them – and what funny result came of it. And besides, we’re looking forward to your own comments on this situation, so please express your opinion below this post.
Apparently, disclosure of such personal information is a violation of the law, so commenters state that the dad should have reported the teacher to the board anyway
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A few months ago I helped a neighbor friend deal with an issue of student teacher being inappropriate & when called out by this parent, teacher and principal backed her CYA excuse. Unfortunately for them, there was solid evidence her behavior was inappropriate which backed all three of them into a corner. My friend asked for a written apology from all 3 by the end of the school year. The district wouldn’t allow that because it was an admission of guilt and wrongdoing. So, here’s the key: I helped my friend file complaints against all three’s credentials and certifications with the professional practices admin of the state school board. This opened a query which caught the eye of the disciplinary dept of the state board, which was queried to the county office of education and finally to the district. The state and county asked if she wanted to file a complaint. Instead, she filed it federally, assigned a case worker/investigator. All three are out of the school, 2 on admin jobs.
And all they had to do was write an apology. So sad people let things go that far
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This is shocking! If a teacher at our school did this they'd be dismissed for gross misconduct. U.K
She would also likely have faced a criminal prosecution for a clear breach of the Data Protection Act.
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He should report her to the school board. Teachers can overstep so many boundaries it's ridiculous. If she's doing this to him, she's going to do it to other people.
What she did was illegal. You can't give out personal information of your students to outsiders without parental consent at the very least. Even as an aide we were taught this as part of our training, that we could be fired or even prosecuted for divulging students' private information.
Yeah, what she did is probably illegal in most places. At least where I work (public Japanese school) releasing ANY student information without written parental permission is grounds for being fired and possible legal action. It’s not a generational issue or an oops situation, it’s a failure to protect her students thing. The school needs to do something, even if the dad doesn’t.
Had the school done a thorough job of explaining to its teachers student confidentiality requirements? If not, it needs to fix itself. If so, it needs to fix this teacher. As a teacher, I was once called by a tutoring company about one of my students. I told the caller that I couldn't even admit a student existed without written permission from its parents.
My therapist did the "I can neither confirm nor deny that DJR exists" when my wife called thinking she was going to tell him how to do his job 🤣
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The person who responded with the suggestion of taking the dad out of the situation and reframing it with only the children really highlighted why this is so egregious. It's one thing to betray someone's privacy, that's bad enough, but this teacher put the safety (and possibly the lives) of three small children at risk by doing what she did. Children cannot give consent, their parents or guardians are the ones who act in their best interests, but in this case the teacher bypassed obtaining their father's consent for himself AND FOR HIS CHILDREN and made the decision on her own. And it was an uninformed, poor decision at that. She 100% needs to be disciplined for this, it's not even debatable.
I don't even hand out a phone number to third parties I trust, without asking the owner of that number first if it is okay. Even when that number could also be searched and found online. And that's on private basis. I would NEVER even CONSIDER handing out ANY private information to a JOURNALIST, especially when this journalist has communicated the intention to write about and make public.
If she doesn't know not to give out the personal info of her students and their families, she's not fit to be a teacher. This is REALLY basic info. What if she did this to a parent who was trying to escape an abusive spouse? Or someone with a stalker? Or any other potential dangerous situation? Nobody should ever be giving out someone else's personal info
Honestly, the younger generation is killing me with this stuff. ALL your dirty laundry being aired for anyone to see. When I grew up during the rise of the internet, we were told to NEVER put much about ourselves online because people could find and use it. And that was when it was harder to do! I notice most people my age have very little online presence
Add to that the younger generations *mistrust* of you if you *don't* put your entire life online. "You don't have a FB/Twitter/Insta/etc. ? What are you trying to hide?" I've actually had young people stop talking to me when they can't ferret out every detail of my life online. They've been conditioned to expect to be able to learn *everything* about someone just by looking it up online. And anyone who doesn't do that is suspect to them. They really don't get it when I say I want to keep my private life, private.
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As much as a mistake would be one thing, such as her talking to friends and letting it slip, but this was clearly thought about. She should at the very least get a warning from the school that blabbering about other people's private lives aren't ok.
I used to teach college, and I had a parent of a student call me once. Yes, a parent of an adult student. Who called me. On my private cell phone. On a number I did not give my students. Apparently he called the university and they shuffled him around from office to office, and all of them told him that they legally could not give him any information about his son's grades and attendance because of privacy issues. He finally bullied them into giving him my HOME PHONE NUMBER, which was also illegal. And then he started the conversation with the angry phrase, "I'm the local chief of police!" Smdh
You should have let him finish his rant, then say, "I wonder how your watch captain and the commissioner would react to your calling my private phone in an attempt to glean confidential information without a subpoena. Shall I put it to the test?" He would have, at the very least, been demoted. At the very worst, fired. If they had a "good ol' boy" network, a chat with the local media would have put them on notice.
Load More Replies... NTA. OP may be taking this in stride, but I don't think he realizes just how serious an offense this is. Giving out a parent's personal information without their consent is a major violation. This teacher, and the VP, need to be reported to the proper authorities. If she's doing it to OP, what is there to stop her from giving out someone else's personal information? Her actions could directly endanger OP and his kids. What's to stop that reporter from confronting his kids and aggressively trying to get information from THEM? In OP'S position, I would have cussed her out too, then IMMEDIATELY file charges and notified the school board and the state board of education. Once THEY get involved, someone's getting fired for sure.
What she did was waaaay out of line (not to mention illegal in a lot of places) but this guy sounds like a jerk.
I would have done the same. Gotten into her face and not report. However the fact that SHE got offended goes to another level. Report her to the board for invasion of privacy. Ain't no way can someone assume ur ok with this without the person s consent. She crossed a line without an apology. Done deal. NTA
The teacher did NOT get permission from the dad. End of story. Certainly, he could have used fewer swear words, but honestly? If a basic stranger shared MY personal info. with a stranger? Let alone a freaking REPORTER? I don’t know if I would have been able to not resort to dropping a number of F-bombs myself!
And she reported him to the VP? Is she stupid? If after violating the privacy on three minors and a parent the only thing I get is a reaming I would light a candle to all the saints of my church. Here in Italy this is matter sufficient to be fired, sued and prosecuted.
Giving out this information is illegal in the US and the UK. The school and the teacher are fined (and other breaches investigated). Teacher should lose her mandated reporter/PVG. If shes done this to OPs kids, she's given out info about other children and I hope legal action is taken.
I work in education and we have been informed on new privacy laws for years now. If you are a teacher and you have your students email addresses you can only contact them about your class. Nothing else or you are already violating EU law. That is why I am a little suspicious whether this is a real story.
If she had a lead she should have asked his permission first. You don’t just go around giving out peoples information, definitely not in todays world with scammers and identity theft. Very stupid move in her part and she’s lucky all he did was tell her off
So a teacher gave a reported information about you. Then said hey here's his number too. What if he was a kid toucher?!? He could use any of that info to take those kids. So she violated a persons personal information that was on file for the school records. Not public records. Gave out the kids ages and prob names and grades and school. And then to top it off gives out this guys personal number. Ok she needs to be fired. Prob held accountable for violating the privacy act. The school and her should be sued. But that's dad biz. I'm glad he has his kids to teach how to be real men and give love and support to. I don't care what a family structure is as long as kids are happy and healthy. And not used as pawns or hurt.
NTA I didn't even have to read the story. Pretty sure there are F*****G LAWS about this kind of thing, and if I were this person I'd be suing. The school has put him and his child in danger.
I think you handled it perfectly; you may have made her a better teacher. I don't think she'll do that sort of thing again. I would have left out the F bombs but that's just me.
Why does it only say 'apparently' sharing personal information like that is against the law???
1. Most places it is illegal. 2. Are you thinking of allegedly as the word that has legal ramifications?
Load More Replies... A few months ago I helped a neighbor friend deal with an issue of student teacher being inappropriate & when called out by this parent, teacher and principal backed her CYA excuse. Unfortunately for them, there was solid evidence her behavior was inappropriate which backed all three of them into a corner. My friend asked for a written apology from all 3 by the end of the school year. The district wouldn’t allow that because it was an admission of guilt and wrongdoing. So, here’s the key: I helped my friend file complaints against all three’s credentials and certifications with the professional practices admin of the state school board. This opened a query which caught the eye of the disciplinary dept of the state board, which was queried to the county office of education and finally to the district. The state and county asked if she wanted to file a complaint. Instead, she filed it federally, assigned a case worker/investigator. All three are out of the school, 2 on admin jobs.
And all they had to do was write an apology. So sad people let things go that far
Load More Replies... This is shocking! If a teacher at our school did this they'd be dismissed for gross misconduct. U.K
She would also likely have faced a criminal prosecution for a clear breach of the Data Protection Act.
Load More Replies... He should report her to the school board. Teachers can overstep so many boundaries it's ridiculous. If she's doing this to him, she's going to do it to other people.
What she did was illegal. You can't give out personal information of your students to outsiders without parental consent at the very least. Even as an aide we were taught this as part of our training, that we could be fired or even prosecuted for divulging students' private information.
Yeah, what she did is probably illegal in most places. At least where I work (public Japanese school) releasing ANY student information without written parental permission is grounds for being fired and possible legal action. It’s not a generational issue or an oops situation, it’s a failure to protect her students thing. The school needs to do something, even if the dad doesn’t.
Had the school done a thorough job of explaining to its teachers student confidentiality requirements? If not, it needs to fix itself. If so, it needs to fix this teacher. As a teacher, I was once called by a tutoring company about one of my students. I told the caller that I couldn't even admit a student existed without written permission from its parents.
My therapist did the "I can neither confirm nor deny that DJR exists" when my wife called thinking she was going to tell him how to do his job 🤣
Load More Replies... The person who responded with the suggestion of taking the dad out of the situation and reframing it with only the children really highlighted why this is so egregious. It's one thing to betray someone's privacy, that's bad enough, but this teacher put the safety (and possibly the lives) of three small children at risk by doing what she did. Children cannot give consent, their parents or guardians are the ones who act in their best interests, but in this case the teacher bypassed obtaining their father's consent for himself AND FOR HIS CHILDREN and made the decision on her own. And it was an uninformed, poor decision at that. She 100% needs to be disciplined for this, it's not even debatable.
I don't even hand out a phone number to third parties I trust, without asking the owner of that number first if it is okay. Even when that number could also be searched and found online. And that's on private basis. I would NEVER even CONSIDER handing out ANY private information to a JOURNALIST, especially when this journalist has communicated the intention to write about and make public.
If she doesn't know not to give out the personal info of her students and their families, she's not fit to be a teacher. This is REALLY basic info. What if she did this to a parent who was trying to escape an abusive spouse? Or someone with a stalker? Or any other potential dangerous situation? Nobody should ever be giving out someone else's personal info
Honestly, the younger generation is killing me with this stuff. ALL your dirty laundry being aired for anyone to see. When I grew up during the rise of the internet, we were told to NEVER put much about ourselves online because people could find and use it. And that was when it was harder to do! I notice most people my age have very little online presence
Add to that the younger generations *mistrust* of you if you *don't* put your entire life online. "You don't have a FB/Twitter/Insta/etc. ? What are you trying to hide?" I've actually had young people stop talking to me when they can't ferret out every detail of my life online. They've been conditioned to expect to be able to learn *everything* about someone just by looking it up online. And anyone who doesn't do that is suspect to them. They really don't get it when I say I want to keep my private life, private.
Load More Replies... As much as a mistake would be one thing, such as her talking to friends and letting it slip, but this was clearly thought about. She should at the very least get a warning from the school that blabbering about other people's private lives aren't ok.
I used to teach college, and I had a parent of a student call me once. Yes, a parent of an adult student. Who called me. On my private cell phone. On a number I did not give my students. Apparently he called the university and they shuffled him around from office to office, and all of them told him that they legally could not give him any information about his son's grades and attendance because of privacy issues. He finally bullied them into giving him my HOME PHONE NUMBER, which was also illegal. And then he started the conversation with the angry phrase, "I'm the local chief of police!" Smdh
You should have let him finish his rant, then say, "I wonder how your watch captain and the commissioner would react to your calling my private phone in an attempt to glean confidential information without a subpoena. Shall I put it to the test?" He would have, at the very least, been demoted. At the very worst, fired. If they had a "good ol' boy" network, a chat with the local media would have put them on notice.
Load More Replies... NTA. OP may be taking this in stride, but I don't think he realizes just how serious an offense this is. Giving out a parent's personal information without their consent is a major violation. This teacher, and the VP, need to be reported to the proper authorities. If she's doing it to OP, what is there to stop her from giving out someone else's personal information? Her actions could directly endanger OP and his kids. What's to stop that reporter from confronting his kids and aggressively trying to get information from THEM? In OP'S position, I would have cussed her out too, then IMMEDIATELY file charges and notified the school board and the state board of education. Once THEY get involved, someone's getting fired for sure.
What she did was waaaay out of line (not to mention illegal in a lot of places) but this guy sounds like a jerk.
I would have done the same. Gotten into her face and not report. However the fact that SHE got offended goes to another level. Report her to the board for invasion of privacy. Ain't no way can someone assume ur ok with this without the person s consent. She crossed a line without an apology. Done deal. NTA
The teacher did NOT get permission from the dad. End of story. Certainly, he could have used fewer swear words, but honestly? If a basic stranger shared MY personal info. with a stranger? Let alone a freaking REPORTER? I don’t know if I would have been able to not resort to dropping a number of F-bombs myself!
And she reported him to the VP? Is she stupid? If after violating the privacy on three minors and a parent the only thing I get is a reaming I would light a candle to all the saints of my church. Here in Italy this is matter sufficient to be fired, sued and prosecuted.
Giving out this information is illegal in the US and the UK. The school and the teacher are fined (and other breaches investigated). Teacher should lose her mandated reporter/PVG. If shes done this to OPs kids, she's given out info about other children and I hope legal action is taken.
I work in education and we have been informed on new privacy laws for years now. If you are a teacher and you have your students email addresses you can only contact them about your class. Nothing else or you are already violating EU law. That is why I am a little suspicious whether this is a real story.
If she had a lead she should have asked his permission first. You don’t just go around giving out peoples information, definitely not in todays world with scammers and identity theft. Very stupid move in her part and she’s lucky all he did was tell her off
So a teacher gave a reported information about you. Then said hey here's his number too. What if he was a kid toucher?!? He could use any of that info to take those kids. So she violated a persons personal information that was on file for the school records. Not public records. Gave out the kids ages and prob names and grades and school. And then to top it off gives out this guys personal number. Ok she needs to be fired. Prob held accountable for violating the privacy act. The school and her should be sued. But that's dad biz. I'm glad he has his kids to teach how to be real men and give love and support to. I don't care what a family structure is as long as kids are happy and healthy. And not used as pawns or hurt.
NTA I didn't even have to read the story. Pretty sure there are F*****G LAWS about this kind of thing, and if I were this person I'd be suing. The school has put him and his child in danger.
I think you handled it perfectly; you may have made her a better teacher. I don't think she'll do that sort of thing again. I would have left out the F bombs but that's just me.
Why does it only say 'apparently' sharing personal information like that is against the law???
1. Most places it is illegal. 2. Are you thinking of allegedly as the word that has legal ramifications?
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