Woman Shares How Relieved She Was When She Learned That Her Obsessive Stalker Died
The world is not always safe for women. There are certain experiences, worries, and concerns they face that most men don’t realize – that’s because one of these dangers is men. Running might be a stress reliever for men, but women runners have to take extra safety measures, even something as simple as going to the library can turn into a traumatic event.
Writer @johnniejae took to Twitter to share her terrifying experience as a teenager with a stalker. The encounter started innocently at the library – so innocently she had no idea what it would turn into. Scroll down to read the entire thread and why she shared it.
Multimedia journalist Johnnie Jae took to twitter to share her chilling experience with a stalker
Image credits: johnniejae
Image credits: johnniejae
Image credits: johnniejae
Image credits: johnniejae
Image credits: johnniejae
Image credits: johnniejae
Image credits: johnniejae
Image credits: johnniejae
Image credits: johnniejae
Image credits: johnniejae
Image credits: johnniejae
Image credits: johnniejae
Image credits: johnniejae
Image credits: johnniejae
Image credits: johnniejae
Image credits: johnniejae
Image credits: johnniejae
Image credits: johnniejae
Image credits: johnniejae
Image credits: johnniejae
Image credits: johnniejae
Image credits: johnniejae
At the end she explained what had prompted her to share
Image credits: johnniejae
Image credits: johnniejae
Image credits: johnniejae
And pointed out the sad reality of violence against women
Image credits: johnniejae
People in the comments thanked her for sharing her story
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According to the Center for Disease Control, in the United States, an estimated 15.2% of women (18.3 million women) have experienced stalking during their lifetimes that made them feel very fearful or made them believe that they or someone close to them would be harmed or killed. In addition, an estimated 4.2% of women (approximately 5.1 million women) were stalked in the 12 months before taking the survey. Nationally, an estimated 5.7% of men (or nearly 6.5 million) have experienced stalking victimization during their lifetimes. Among female stalking victims, an estimated 60.8% were stalked by a current or former intimate partner, nearly one-quarter (an estimated 24.9%) were stalked by an acquaintance, an estimated 16.2% were stalked by a stranger, and an estimated 6.2% were stalked by a family member.
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She was extremly brave. You know what always makes me so angry? We are so conditionated to be blamed for this that women feel ashamed to reveal that they have been stalked, harased etc. I woul have felt the same at her age, and I wouldnt have tell my parents. Whats so wrong with our society?
Y'day my 18yo was followed by a 40+ yo on a bicycle who at 10am in the main st. He was persistent in trying to talk to her, despite her rebuttals. He made comments abt her & her dress, waiting for her to leave a shop & keeping pace then riding in front to block her path with his bike. My daughter who ALWAYS wears 1950's dresses is buying jeans & doesn't want to go to town anymore. WTF won't they just leave females alone?
For stalking teenagers and younger girls and boys, I would create special much longer jail crime punishment Even if stalker technically doesn't touch them, it will still leave mental scars on young people. Also, for all kinds of stalkings there should be jail punishment. No, even without any touching it's not "just nothing".
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Wow. How sad is it that as I was reading this, I was actually shocked that her manager, her parents, the police, campus security, and the guy's workplace actually did everything they could to help? It shouldn't be a shock that people actually believed her and took steps to help, but unfortunately, not everyone gets that level of support.
I know I would. Glad this woman survived this experience.
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When I was 13 I was followed every single day by a twenty something guy. I would silently ride my bicycle to school while he followed me and asked me to be his girlfriend. I used to be part scared part confused and just rode ahead in silence. 13y/o me didn't know how to handle that, so one day I told him in gestures that I'm kind of deaf and mute. I thought it would make me repulsive to him. And it did. Note: I apologize to all the deaf and mute people because in hindsight it was insulting to deaf and mute people but at 13 I didn't know what else to do and came up with this "solution". I don't believe that differently abled people are repulsive in any way. I am extremely sorry if I have offended anyone.
I don't think anyone would take offence, you protected yourself, 13 is so young, it was a very scary and dangerous situation, you weren't mocking disabled people just for "fun"!
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I know it is mainly women that this happens to, but a small percentage of these types of people happen to men as well. I had an obsessive stalker through a good part of my 20s that would call me, my wife and my work. She put flowers on my stoop three times. It wasn't a "Fatal Attraction" scenario, she was a post-grad at the university where I was an IT engineer. Talked to her twice, once to help her with her network settings, then after I spotted her following me several times to tell her to stop. I was ignored by the university because (and I quote) "You are a big strong man, what is the issue". I told my wife immediately because I didn't want anything misconstrued and I was so glad she was on my side. After almost a three years of opening a door and seeing her watching me, getting letters on my car and her harassing my wife, I quit my job and we moved out of state. I am glad that was before the days of social media, but I still catch myself looking over my shoulder once in awhile.
I too had a stalker who died. He left his wife for me and I had no idea he even existed. I was so relieved when he died of a brain aneurysm. I too couldn't figure out what I'd done wrong. Thank God for the Police.
You did absolutely nothing wrong. You were just in the wrong place at the wrong time and caught someone's attention who had a mental disorder. It's not your fault.
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God this is terrifying. It's disgraceful the police do not have more powers to get rid of people who intimidate. Until they actually hurt, main or kill, nothing is protecting the victim.
Reminds me of a time when I was 17 and volunteering for the public library...I would bus back after I was finished, and for about a month everything was fine. But then this older guy I suspect may have been homeless, he seemed to be 50+, asked me for a cigar, to which I shook my head as I didn't smoke. But he kept asking me more and more weird questions, one of them was asking me if I was a virgin. I regret so much that I responded yes because he went on and on talking about how desperately he needed a virgin in his life. I was afraid I would be rude if I stopped talking to him or just suddenly up and left the bus stop. It was so creepy and I wish I had just left. I saw him waiting by the bus stop the next few days after I finished volunteering but I never took that bus again. I was a naive 17 year old girl who hadn't been taught anything about this side of humanity. I didn't know situations like that happened, or how to deal with them properly. When I explained what happened a few
months later, I was made to feel ashamed of myself for continuing to encourage and talk to the man as long as I did, but, I just didn't know any better at the time. Reading her story was chilling... I'm glad my story was much shorter than hers.
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It's not something i talk about much but i met a random dude at a metal gig years ago, thought he was a good dude, we chatted had a lot in common so we arranged to meet up for a few pre-gig beers a couple of weeks later, a couple of days goes by and i get a text asking who this number is, i replied "it's **** we met at that gig a couple days ago, you good?" and then proceeded to accuse me of being involved with some people he knew in a previous part of his life and i was winding him up and it was all a conspiracy and i am just out to get him etc, so i told him to f*** off and don't contact me again, go the gig on my own not thinking much about it, he followed me around all night, i told him to back off many many times, he followed and i got physical and that ended that night, he then tried to follow me after the gig, i laughed it off at the time but even as a big guy i was thinking all sorts and got a bit nervous, i can't imagine what you ladies go through.
Its unfair that people have to put up with this behavior. Ladies, (And men in some cases but not nearly as many) Don't put up with this s**t, ever! Tell anyone that you think can help, and don't think that you're annoying or paranoid just because you're seeking help. And if you do this to someone you deserve arrest and going to prison, because you are a filthy waste of oxygen.
LGBTQIA2S? You’ve got to be kidding (before any of you reply to let me know, yes I’m aware that’s not the point of the article)
lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, questioning, queer, intersex, pansexual, two-spirit (2S), androgynous, and asexual
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Good lord.... I try not to swear a lot, but this is seriously f****d up. I'm glad she's safe, but it's horrible it took death to ensure her safety. We need to watch out and report these s****y people, and help the people affected by stalking; Both men and women, given the rape culture the U.S. (this takes place in the U.S, right?) and the world in general has.
Police are no help in these situations. I tried getting a restating order against my ex husband. But since I dint have any bruises on my body from him I could not get one. Even through he was threatening to kill me, I had the messages to prove it and he was following me everywhere. All they said was for me to change my number and ignore him.
I still don't and never will understand why any human believes they are entitled to another human.
Never be so afraid of "looking dramatic" that you don't trust your instincts. Better safe than sorry. If people look down on you for it, f**k them.
This is horrible and frightening, but I'm not sure why she's taking it to a racial place. Men of all colors are guilty of doing this to women of every ethnicity. This is a male/female problem, not a racial one.
It’s a racial problem in her case because when the person who is stalking you is a dominant / majority race person (white in her country) then it is even more threatening and hard to get out of. It’s scarier because people might not believe a minority over a white. If a black dude followed her home, she could have him arrested and probably shot and killed that same day by the cops. If it’s a white guy chances are people will victim blame. If you aren’t “sure why she’s taking it to a racial place,” then just ask why. Don’t say you’re not sure and then try to act like she was wrong. She wasn’t wrong, you just didn’t understand yet.
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I was 16 and shared a car with my 18yo brother. It was a pretty unique vehicle, that got a lot of attention from "gear heads." There was a guy my brother's age from a different town that saw me driving once and decided to follow me. This happened a few times and it turns out he was friends with one of my brother's classmates, and he started to ask my brother about me (thankfully he's an awesome protective brother so he didn't answer). Every time I'd be out running errands, with my friends or going to and from work he would follow me in that car. Later that summer my brother was on his way to play golf and the car caught fire. As much as it was scary to have a car catch on fire, I'm glad it did. Because the replacement was a very generic, common car that I was able to drive incognito until the douchebags went off to college.
I grew up in a small town so when I was 13 I could almost walk from one side of town to the other easily. I was on a path one day when when a guy in a pick up truck was coming towards me than turned away and started following me. Thankfully I was wearing ear buds and knew that there was a Solon not to far up. The guy kept pace with how fast I was going not the traffic speed. It was scary I told the people to lock the door when I got in. They did the guy pulled up than left and turned around the exact way he was going. I am not sure what would have happened if I didn’t notice. Then when I was old I had a group of friends and they had this one friend who I didn’t really like. I was nice to him because he was my friends friend. He asked me out a few times. I said no. Than he started showing up at my work with flowers. Than I couldn’t be as polite anymore. He went away but I started getting crazy, rude, ugly calls from someone who seemed to always know where I was and what I was wear
Wearing* one day they stopped. I am so happy to still be here, I don’t think I told anyone about this as a teenager because my family’s matto was what did you do to make this happen.... I went through a lot of therapy after that though. Glad to say that that kind of stuff doesn’t happen anymore.
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Omg girl you brave daaamnnnn your friends and family had your back like stsly they love you lots
People just don't get how terrifying being stalked can be, having it be a stranger would just heighten that sense. My ex husband stalked & harassed my kids & I for almost a year. He kept finding ways to get into the house (yes, the locks had been changed immediately). We got home from a friends wedding and my jewelry box was sitting on the toaster, just his little way of letting me know he's been in my house. I went to get in my car (in my LOCKED garage) and a shoebox full of all the cards I'd given him was on the driver's seat. He would send flowers to my office, etc. - despite the fact that I had a restraining order. This went on for ALMOST a year. The cops would show up just after he left and because he hadn't actually harmed me or my kids, there wasn't much they could do. Until he left death threats on my answering machine - calling from his parents house and leaving proof on my caller id. That got him 9 months in jail. We moved in the meantime (not just out of the house that I loved) we moved to a different county.
I'm a man and have never had a stalking experience, but when I was a kid there was a bully who terrorized the whole neighborhood for years - beating up smaller kids, breaking into houses, etc. He was in and out of reform schools and finally prison where he died of a brain aneurysm. I remember feeling relieved and a bit safer knowing he was finally dead. No guilt or shame necessary for getting rid of a menace.
I had a guy call me at work one day when I was 16. He had bought something at the register next to me and thought I was cute. I vaguely remembered him cause he kept staring at me and not answering my coworker as he was checking out. He looked to be in his 30’s. I said thank you but I have a boyfriend. So for the next few months every day he would call me at work and taunt me and breathe into the phone and laugh. A couple times he said he was going to meet me after work. So I had to be escorted to my car and worried I was being followed constantly. He came in a couple times and would just stand and stare at me from different departments. Managers made him leave. It got really crazy. I ended up quitting that job just to get away from him. Thankfully it worked. Zachary. That was 20 + years ago and I still think about how scared you made me and how I had to quit a job I really enjoyed because I was scared to answer the phone and you would be there or go to my car after work by myself.
He left a rose under my windshield wipers and a love note. Years later I had a boyfriend who was really sweet do the same thing not knowing about my previous problem. It scared the c**p out of me, it was about 5 years later, different car and everything but for a moment I was terrified that he had found me. I started crying and shaking until I saw the note my boyfriend left and the laugh cry of relief was amazing. I told my boyfriend and he felt horrible for making me freak out. It’s funny now but then it was terrible.
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I had a stalker/harasser once. I had dated him for about 4 months. Couldn't shake him for the next year and it was escalating. I went to the police station, wanting to file charges or whatever you call it, as it seemed it did meet the criteria for criminal stalking or harassing. I thought they would sit down with me and ask for an accounting. But instead, the police officer at the front desk heard a statement about why I was there, asked no details, then told me I should pick better boyfriends. He did finally leave me alone. I still can't stand having a tiny sliver of uncovered window anywhere in my house at night. Will never feel completely comfortable at home or especially in the yard.
Am I the only one who thinks it's oddly appropriate that the "Center for Disease Control" should be the organisation that keeps track of this kind of sick behaviour?
No woman is ever responsible for attracting a stalker. One thing I would advise is to learn some basic defense moves, whether it's vulnerable places to strike or items that will make a loud noise. It's terrifying to be stalked, but fighting back mentally (while hoping it never becomes physical) is one way to take back some control over your life. Hope for the best, but be ready for the worst.
Help yourself by taking self defense classes - not just one, but several classes. Take karate or tae kwon do lessons. There are a lot of ways to protect yourself, and not just with a gun, which is not everybody's preference. When you're walking some place, adopt the attitude that you're the meanest, baddest thing to walk the face of the earth. Confidence shows just as much intimidation. I have lived in some rough areas and have stared down more than one would-be attacker. Each time, I made sure he knew I was taking stock of his features and his clothes. I also had a ring full of keys that were laced through my fingers making my fist look like a medieval mace and I made sure he saw it. Knowing I was prepared to fight and appearing to not be afraid of him, he went off in search of easier prey.
I've had six stalkers and I wouldn't even stalk me. I'm glad she posted this.
Six? WTF??!! Hope everything is ok for you now.
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My friend had a stalker she fallowed him around for months until they moved but ya I'm sorry you went through that it’s horrible.
Is there any sign we should look out for in case there is a stalker problem?
At first i thought this was just someone over reacting, based on the click bait. I was wrong. But, I would like to add one note: Men get this as well....it is not just women. (maybe not as often, I do not know the statistics in this case, but don't downplay the effects...regardless of gender)
How? If that guy didn't die- she could have been a news for the worse possible reason...
Load More Replies... I'm a woman and I don't wanna doubt her account but it seems off to me too-- the bathroom in the bank made it seem bizarre to me. A friend of mine works in a bank, and the bathrooms are 100% off-limits to customers, (if they even have any inside) because of the potential for crime etc, basically all places are monitored for safety, and you can't do that in the bathroom, thus they don't have any bathrooms for the general public. So bathrooms are usually in another building. America might be different though. But maybe she was mis remembering, as it was a time ago? While her words are important, though, and women are harassed every day, as a woman, it bothers me when details like this are wrong because if people pick up on it, it can undermine the story and important message.
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I'll take stuff that happens all the f*****g time for 200. This s**t is so common its on the top of the board.
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Whatever. Im just glad that i don't have to worry about them as much
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Wow that is low. Is that what you took away from this? Not only "pretty" girls get stalkers? It's a compliment to get stalked? Do the world a favour and submit yourself to the police right now for being a drag to the rest of the world.
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She was extremly brave. You know what always makes me so angry? We are so conditionated to be blamed for this that women feel ashamed to reveal that they have been stalked, harased etc. I woul have felt the same at her age, and I wouldnt have tell my parents. Whats so wrong with our society?
Y'day my 18yo was followed by a 40+ yo on a bicycle who at 10am in the main st. He was persistent in trying to talk to her, despite her rebuttals. He made comments abt her & her dress, waiting for her to leave a shop & keeping pace then riding in front to block her path with his bike. My daughter who ALWAYS wears 1950's dresses is buying jeans & doesn't want to go to town anymore. WTF won't they just leave females alone?
For stalking teenagers and younger girls and boys, I would create special much longer jail crime punishment Even if stalker technically doesn't touch them, it will still leave mental scars on young people. Also, for all kinds of stalkings there should be jail punishment. No, even without any touching it's not "just nothing".
Load More Replies... Wow. How sad is it that as I was reading this, I was actually shocked that her manager, her parents, the police, campus security, and the guy's workplace actually did everything they could to help? It shouldn't be a shock that people actually believed her and took steps to help, but unfortunately, not everyone gets that level of support.
I know I would. Glad this woman survived this experience.
Load More Replies... When I was 13 I was followed every single day by a twenty something guy. I would silently ride my bicycle to school while he followed me and asked me to be his girlfriend. I used to be part scared part confused and just rode ahead in silence. 13y/o me didn't know how to handle that, so one day I told him in gestures that I'm kind of deaf and mute. I thought it would make me repulsive to him. And it did. Note: I apologize to all the deaf and mute people because in hindsight it was insulting to deaf and mute people but at 13 I didn't know what else to do and came up with this "solution". I don't believe that differently abled people are repulsive in any way. I am extremely sorry if I have offended anyone.
I don't think anyone would take offence, you protected yourself, 13 is so young, it was a very scary and dangerous situation, you weren't mocking disabled people just for "fun"!
Load More Replies... I know it is mainly women that this happens to, but a small percentage of these types of people happen to men as well. I had an obsessive stalker through a good part of my 20s that would call me, my wife and my work. She put flowers on my stoop three times. It wasn't a "Fatal Attraction" scenario, she was a post-grad at the university where I was an IT engineer. Talked to her twice, once to help her with her network settings, then after I spotted her following me several times to tell her to stop. I was ignored by the university because (and I quote) "You are a big strong man, what is the issue". I told my wife immediately because I didn't want anything misconstrued and I was so glad she was on my side. After almost a three years of opening a door and seeing her watching me, getting letters on my car and her harassing my wife, I quit my job and we moved out of state. I am glad that was before the days of social media, but I still catch myself looking over my shoulder once in awhile.
I too had a stalker who died. He left his wife for me and I had no idea he even existed. I was so relieved when he died of a brain aneurysm. I too couldn't figure out what I'd done wrong. Thank God for the Police.
You did absolutely nothing wrong. You were just in the wrong place at the wrong time and caught someone's attention who had a mental disorder. It's not your fault.
Load More Replies... God this is terrifying. It's disgraceful the police do not have more powers to get rid of people who intimidate. Until they actually hurt, main or kill, nothing is protecting the victim.
Reminds me of a time when I was 17 and volunteering for the public library...I would bus back after I was finished, and for about a month everything was fine. But then this older guy I suspect may have been homeless, he seemed to be 50+, asked me for a cigar, to which I shook my head as I didn't smoke. But he kept asking me more and more weird questions, one of them was asking me if I was a virgin. I regret so much that I responded yes because he went on and on talking about how desperately he needed a virgin in his life. I was afraid I would be rude if I stopped talking to him or just suddenly up and left the bus stop. It was so creepy and I wish I had just left. I saw him waiting by the bus stop the next few days after I finished volunteering but I never took that bus again. I was a naive 17 year old girl who hadn't been taught anything about this side of humanity. I didn't know situations like that happened, or how to deal with them properly. When I explained what happened a few
months later, I was made to feel ashamed of myself for continuing to encourage and talk to the man as long as I did, but, I just didn't know any better at the time. Reading her story was chilling... I'm glad my story was much shorter than hers.
Load More Replies... It's not something i talk about much but i met a random dude at a metal gig years ago, thought he was a good dude, we chatted had a lot in common so we arranged to meet up for a few pre-gig beers a couple of weeks later, a couple of days goes by and i get a text asking who this number is, i replied "it's **** we met at that gig a couple days ago, you good?" and then proceeded to accuse me of being involved with some people he knew in a previous part of his life and i was winding him up and it was all a conspiracy and i am just out to get him etc, so i told him to f*** off and don't contact me again, go the gig on my own not thinking much about it, he followed me around all night, i told him to back off many many times, he followed and i got physical and that ended that night, he then tried to follow me after the gig, i laughed it off at the time but even as a big guy i was thinking all sorts and got a bit nervous, i can't imagine what you ladies go through.
Its unfair that people have to put up with this behavior. Ladies, (And men in some cases but not nearly as many) Don't put up with this s**t, ever! Tell anyone that you think can help, and don't think that you're annoying or paranoid just because you're seeking help. And if you do this to someone you deserve arrest and going to prison, because you are a filthy waste of oxygen.
LGBTQIA2S? You’ve got to be kidding (before any of you reply to let me know, yes I’m aware that’s not the point of the article)
lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, questioning, queer, intersex, pansexual, two-spirit (2S), androgynous, and asexual
Load More Replies... Good lord.... I try not to swear a lot, but this is seriously f****d up. I'm glad she's safe, but it's horrible it took death to ensure her safety. We need to watch out and report these s****y people, and help the people affected by stalking; Both men and women, given the rape culture the U.S. (this takes place in the U.S, right?) and the world in general has.
Police are no help in these situations. I tried getting a restating order against my ex husband. But since I dint have any bruises on my body from him I could not get one. Even through he was threatening to kill me, I had the messages to prove it and he was following me everywhere. All they said was for me to change my number and ignore him.
I still don't and never will understand why any human believes they are entitled to another human.
Never be so afraid of "looking dramatic" that you don't trust your instincts. Better safe than sorry. If people look down on you for it, f**k them.
This is horrible and frightening, but I'm not sure why she's taking it to a racial place. Men of all colors are guilty of doing this to women of every ethnicity. This is a male/female problem, not a racial one.
It’s a racial problem in her case because when the person who is stalking you is a dominant / majority race person (white in her country) then it is even more threatening and hard to get out of. It’s scarier because people might not believe a minority over a white. If a black dude followed her home, she could have him arrested and probably shot and killed that same day by the cops. If it’s a white guy chances are people will victim blame. If you aren’t “sure why she’s taking it to a racial place,” then just ask why. Don’t say you’re not sure and then try to act like she was wrong. She wasn’t wrong, you just didn’t understand yet.
Load More Replies... I was 16 and shared a car with my 18yo brother. It was a pretty unique vehicle, that got a lot of attention from "gear heads." There was a guy my brother's age from a different town that saw me driving once and decided to follow me. This happened a few times and it turns out he was friends with one of my brother's classmates, and he started to ask my brother about me (thankfully he's an awesome protective brother so he didn't answer). Every time I'd be out running errands, with my friends or going to and from work he would follow me in that car. Later that summer my brother was on his way to play golf and the car caught fire. As much as it was scary to have a car catch on fire, I'm glad it did. Because the replacement was a very generic, common car that I was able to drive incognito until the douchebags went off to college.
I grew up in a small town so when I was 13 I could almost walk from one side of town to the other easily. I was on a path one day when when a guy in a pick up truck was coming towards me than turned away and started following me. Thankfully I was wearing ear buds and knew that there was a Solon not to far up. The guy kept pace with how fast I was going not the traffic speed. It was scary I told the people to lock the door when I got in. They did the guy pulled up than left and turned around the exact way he was going. I am not sure what would have happened if I didn’t notice. Then when I was old I had a group of friends and they had this one friend who I didn’t really like. I was nice to him because he was my friends friend. He asked me out a few times. I said no. Than he started showing up at my work with flowers. Than I couldn’t be as polite anymore. He went away but I started getting crazy, rude, ugly calls from someone who seemed to always know where I was and what I was wear
Wearing* one day they stopped. I am so happy to still be here, I don’t think I told anyone about this as a teenager because my family’s matto was what did you do to make this happen.... I went through a lot of therapy after that though. Glad to say that that kind of stuff doesn’t happen anymore.
Load More Replies... Omg girl you brave daaamnnnn your friends and family had your back like stsly they love you lots
People just don't get how terrifying being stalked can be, having it be a stranger would just heighten that sense. My ex husband stalked & harassed my kids & I for almost a year. He kept finding ways to get into the house (yes, the locks had been changed immediately). We got home from a friends wedding and my jewelry box was sitting on the toaster, just his little way of letting me know he's been in my house. I went to get in my car (in my LOCKED garage) and a shoebox full of all the cards I'd given him was on the driver's seat. He would send flowers to my office, etc. - despite the fact that I had a restraining order. This went on for ALMOST a year. The cops would show up just after he left and because he hadn't actually harmed me or my kids, there wasn't much they could do. Until he left death threats on my answering machine - calling from his parents house and leaving proof on my caller id. That got him 9 months in jail. We moved in the meantime (not just out of the house that I loved) we moved to a different county.
I'm a man and have never had a stalking experience, but when I was a kid there was a bully who terrorized the whole neighborhood for years - beating up smaller kids, breaking into houses, etc. He was in and out of reform schools and finally prison where he died of a brain aneurysm. I remember feeling relieved and a bit safer knowing he was finally dead. No guilt or shame necessary for getting rid of a menace.
I had a guy call me at work one day when I was 16. He had bought something at the register next to me and thought I was cute. I vaguely remembered him cause he kept staring at me and not answering my coworker as he was checking out. He looked to be in his 30’s. I said thank you but I have a boyfriend. So for the next few months every day he would call me at work and taunt me and breathe into the phone and laugh. A couple times he said he was going to meet me after work. So I had to be escorted to my car and worried I was being followed constantly. He came in a couple times and would just stand and stare at me from different departments. Managers made him leave. It got really crazy. I ended up quitting that job just to get away from him. Thankfully it worked. Zachary. That was 20 + years ago and I still think about how scared you made me and how I had to quit a job I really enjoyed because I was scared to answer the phone and you would be there or go to my car after work by myself.
He left a rose under my windshield wipers and a love note. Years later I had a boyfriend who was really sweet do the same thing not knowing about my previous problem. It scared the c**p out of me, it was about 5 years later, different car and everything but for a moment I was terrified that he had found me. I started crying and shaking until I saw the note my boyfriend left and the laugh cry of relief was amazing. I told my boyfriend and he felt horrible for making me freak out. It’s funny now but then it was terrible.
Load More Replies... I had a stalker/harasser once. I had dated him for about 4 months. Couldn't shake him for the next year and it was escalating. I went to the police station, wanting to file charges or whatever you call it, as it seemed it did meet the criteria for criminal stalking or harassing. I thought they would sit down with me and ask for an accounting. But instead, the police officer at the front desk heard a statement about why I was there, asked no details, then told me I should pick better boyfriends. He did finally leave me alone. I still can't stand having a tiny sliver of uncovered window anywhere in my house at night. Will never feel completely comfortable at home or especially in the yard.
Am I the only one who thinks it's oddly appropriate that the "Center for Disease Control" should be the organisation that keeps track of this kind of sick behaviour?
No woman is ever responsible for attracting a stalker. One thing I would advise is to learn some basic defense moves, whether it's vulnerable places to strike or items that will make a loud noise. It's terrifying to be stalked, but fighting back mentally (while hoping it never becomes physical) is one way to take back some control over your life. Hope for the best, but be ready for the worst.
Help yourself by taking self defense classes - not just one, but several classes. Take karate or tae kwon do lessons. There are a lot of ways to protect yourself, and not just with a gun, which is not everybody's preference. When you're walking some place, adopt the attitude that you're the meanest, baddest thing to walk the face of the earth. Confidence shows just as much intimidation. I have lived in some rough areas and have stared down more than one would-be attacker. Each time, I made sure he knew I was taking stock of his features and his clothes. I also had a ring full of keys that were laced through my fingers making my fist look like a medieval mace and I made sure he saw it. Knowing I was prepared to fight and appearing to not be afraid of him, he went off in search of easier prey.
I've had six stalkers and I wouldn't even stalk me. I'm glad she posted this.
Six? WTF??!! Hope everything is ok for you now.
Load More Replies... My friend had a stalker she fallowed him around for months until they moved but ya I'm sorry you went through that it’s horrible.
Is there any sign we should look out for in case there is a stalker problem?
At first i thought this was just someone over reacting, based on the click bait. I was wrong. But, I would like to add one note: Men get this as well....it is not just women. (maybe not as often, I do not know the statistics in this case, but don't downplay the effects...regardless of gender)
How? If that guy didn't die- she could have been a news for the worse possible reason...
Load More Replies... I'm a woman and I don't wanna doubt her account but it seems off to me too-- the bathroom in the bank made it seem bizarre to me. A friend of mine works in a bank, and the bathrooms are 100% off-limits to customers, (if they even have any inside) because of the potential for crime etc, basically all places are monitored for safety, and you can't do that in the bathroom, thus they don't have any bathrooms for the general public. So bathrooms are usually in another building. America might be different though. But maybe she was mis remembering, as it was a time ago? While her words are important, though, and women are harassed every day, as a woman, it bothers me when details like this are wrong because if people pick up on it, it can undermine the story and important message.
Load More Replies... I'll take stuff that happens all the f*****g time for 200. This s**t is so common its on the top of the board.
Load More Replies... Whatever. Im just glad that i don't have to worry about them as much
Load More Replies... Wow that is low. Is that what you took away from this? Not only "pretty" girls get stalkers? It's a compliment to get stalked? Do the world a favour and submit yourself to the police right now for being a drag to the rest of the world.
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