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This Twitter Page Collects 50 Of The Most Ridiculous News Headlines Ever Printed Or Shared (New Pics)
For any well-informed citizen, it's crucial to stay up-to-date on the news. But considering the endless amount of information we’re bombarded with daily, it’s impossible to keep tabs on every hilariously bizarre thing happening on our planet. Or is it? Well, let’s just say that the internet has proven time and again that wild and ridiculous headlines will never go unnoticed.
After all, some of them totally catch us off guard and leave us unsure whether to facepalm or do a spit-take. Like "Bear breaks into Colorado house, plays the piano but not very well" or "Thief cut victim's grass before taking lawnmower". These are just a few little gems found on the 'Internet’s Craziest Headlines' Twitter account — aka the hall of fame of the most ludicrous titles noticed on TV and print.
So if you find entertainment in the Florida man and his antics whenever they manage to find a way to your feed, you’ve ended up in the right place! Let us present you with a new level of absurdity that is the compilation of images we wrapped up right below. Enjoy scrolling through these entries and hit upvote on your favorite ones. And if you've ever come across an outlandish headline yourself, we'd love to hear all about it in the comments.
Psst! More newspaper headline madness awaits in our previous post right over here.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Nora12 3 years ago
Not if he is a dementia patient, they can not freely come and go since they may get lost or have a hard time getting back
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RELATED:
#2
Jill Hojnacki 3 years ago
Unless the flight feathers are clipped. Even then, between its beak and toe nails, it can get down if it wants to. Source: I’ve been sharing my home with an umbrella cockatoo for 35 years.
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glowworm2 3 years ago
Ah yes, Jessie. Her owner told the firefighters to say "I love you." as a way to bond with her. Jessie decided to respond with a bunch of expletives instead.
Daniel Atkins 3 years ago
Pining for the Fjords. This is what happens if you don't nail it to the perch.
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Deborah Harris 3 years ago
Meet Jessie she's now quite famous after this , and yes she is a Londoner so of course she can swear :P
Kahna Wanna 3 years ago
Domestic Parrots are afraid to fly down. They don't know they can. Their whole world is inside the house. And they can be narcissistic little jerks who won't admit they're afraid and must remain aloof, appear unafraid and in total control of where they are. Hence my boy naming himself Princess Dude. Pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty Princess Duuuuude. True story.
#3
Katy McMouse 3 years ago
Obviously the kind with a short fuse and poor aim.
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Nathaniel 3 years ago
And people wonder why it would be a bad idea to have armed police in schools.
Jo Johannsen 3 years ago
OK, you brats, the first kids that barks gets it right between the eyes. (A sorrowful joke about the state of the world.)
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A brief scroll through this list may be all it takes to convince you that reality is often stranger than fiction. Even in this modern world where few things can genuinely knock us off our feet, people (and animals!) still manage to surprise us with the most absurd actions that exceed our expectations. News stories ranging from charmingly unexpected to plainly bizarre inevitably lead to funny headlines that are gaining popularity online every day. But this does beg the question: why are we so fascinated with them in the first place?
To learn more about the abundance of weird news items and the fine line between an informative headline and a fake one, we reached out to Deborah S. Bowen, Ph.D., an Assistant Professor of PR Instruction at the University of South Florida. When asked what impact the digital world had on the spread of weird news stories, she told Bored Panda, "Because of its relative accessibility, the internet has become a powerful dissemination tool."
"Those fun stories from far-flung places (or not so far-flung!) are much more available now. People can amplify all kinds of messages across any number of platforms and can cast a net as wide as their imaginations," the professor added. "And all this posting can be done at no cost. It can even become a moneymaker for the person aggregating and publishing these wild tales. Besides, we love entertainment, and what’s more entertaining than the truth?"
#4
Brandon Marlowe 3 years ago (edited)
Look for the bear necessities. The simple bear necessities. Forget about your worries and your strife.
Caro Caro 3 years ago
... Wherever I wander, wherever I roam I couldn't be fonder of my big home
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ThatRandomGuy 3 years ago (edited)
now here is Bear with "In a sentimental mood" by duke Ellington
#6
CG 3 years ago
And enough charisma to talk his way into convincing the cops.
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unfilteredCigarette73 3 years ago
I like this kid. He's got motivation and drive...definitely going places
Down With Agent Hedgehog! 3 years ago
One dangerous but real smart boy. How the heck did he not crash the car
ravina nimje 3 years ago
We need a full story, did he finally meet his grand parent? Do Cop believe in the beginning that he is dwarf?
Consider the Florida man scenario. The slew of stories that begin with those two words makes it look like the state is occupied by the wackiest and weirdest people ever. As a Florida resident, Bowen shared a few thoughts on the matter.
"Some might suggest that many stereotypes are rooted in some grain of truth," she explained. "I suggest that Florida arrests are part of the public record, and therefore become excellent content for communicators across the media! Admittedly, though, there's nothing like seeing 'Florida Man' in a headline and wondering, 'will THIS be the one I know?!'"
#7
Ana Ferreira 3 years ago
Archeologists, paleontologists and geologists will sometimes lick stuff to determine whether or not its bone, when other forms of observation aren't sufficient.
Mikey Kliss 3 years ago
Standard practice innit? Dig up something, give it a lick and record your findings
justmemorticia 3 years ago
Yeah, sure. When I dig in the yard and find a buried bone, my first instinct is to lick it. Woof.
Vanessa S 3 years ago
Bones are poris(bad spelling) if you lick them they stick to your tongue. Maybe testing if they were real or fake?
Pieter LeGrande 2 years ago
Barbecue ribs and almonds - a great oriental dish.
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Tuna Fish 3 years ago
Or maybe the smartest of them all. Could you steal a cops wallet during an interrogation? I say this guy is impressive, top of his game here.
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#9
Nora12 3 years ago
Note: this is not real it was from a satire website https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/413-chicken-nuggets-eaten/
Benita Valdez 3 years ago
Satire or not; eating that many has got to have some effects on health especially if from McDonald's
When it comes to our passion for these stories, the professor explained that their catchy and odd nature is what tends to spark our curiosity. "The best headlines — the infamous 'Headless Body in Topless Bar' being the classic archetype — grab the reader’s attention immediately and invite the reader on a newsworthy adventure."
After all, getting your headline clicked on is far from an easy task. The words you choose to wrap your title in are the first, and probably the only, impression you make on the potential reader. "It’s awfully hard to make day-to-day happenings sound cool and sexy; it’s much easier when a story is so absurd that the headline becomes an easy 'get' for the author," Bowen said.
"Wild headlines promise a real escape for a reader, and we crave, as humans, the emotional release that can come from reading a truth so different from our own. Whether hilarious or sad or evoking Schadenfreude [a German word meaning the pleasure we get from witnessing someone's misfortune], readers want the impact of the tale to be significant — to deliver the emotional punch promised by the headline."
#10
Jordi Sharpe 3 years ago
Or drugs. I'm pretty sure I thought this up when I was baked, too.
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#11
Paul Pierokowski 3 years ago
They talk about men not knowing female anatomy. What about cis females who don't know? 😂
Tina Smith 3 years ago
Apparently, DNA tests were later done and the baby is the husband's child. https://7news.com.au/lifestyle/husband-dumps-wife-moments-after-giving-birth-after-baby-came-out-with-darker-skin-c-1331947.amp
Tina Smith 3 years ago
Although I might have read the wrong story. There's a couple of these that happened in the same time period. 2020 - of course.
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Midnightcat444 3 years ago
Is that *gasp* a penis??! Bored panda, how could you let our innocent minds be stained like this? /s
Teresa Scott 3 years ago
Seems dangerous not to lock that thing down. A snag would be awful.
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David Mitchell 3 years ago
I'm gonna bet if the guy thought he was a tiger he took PCP and not LSD
LeeAnne B 3 years ago
Is the problem that he was naked/ running around a forest/ being high in private/ thinking he was a tiger?
Scott Rackley 3 years ago
Back in the day, I took a lot of acid. Never once did I think I was an animal.
While it’s fun to devour stories that bend the limits of our imagination, they also serve as proof that anything can be considered newsworthy these days. The problem is that with the heaps of information that consistently grace our feeds, it has become difficult to differentiate facts from fiction.
"One of my favorite sayings is 'Content without context is just noise,'" Professor Bowen noted. "It’s critical that we become informed and savvy consumers of media, and that we take no information for granted as truth. A headline tossed out casually on, say, a social media platform should always be questioned, even if the source is knowledgeable. Find the reporter or author. What has that person contributed to the news before? Is there an 'angle'? A bias?"
#13
Hades (but good) 3 years ago (edited)
"you didn't do the dishes again! i told you every Wednesday after the potato salad and fruit punch you..." "I PUNCHED A SHARK FOR YOU!" "=_______________="
Celeste Grant 3 years ago
Punching the nose of a shark is a well known way of getting them to go away. I think it has something to do with with the ampullae of Lorenzini in their noses which are sensitive organs for detecting electrical impulses. It might also be that they just don't like it though! Pretty brave to try it with a white shark but for the person you love, maybe it's pure adrenaline and blind panic.
Emerald Ocean 3 years ago
Ooh another person that knows about the ampullae of Lorenzini! Hi fellow shark lover!
Load More Replies... Katy McMouse 3 years ago
I'd get a t-shirt and a coffee mug and maybe even a singing telegram touting my bravery.
Ash 3 years ago
I had an environmental science professor in college who punched a hammerhead shark once. She was scuba diving and felt like there was something beside her and turned and looked, and HAMMERHEAD!! She punched it out of reflex and it swam away (luckily for her!).
Melissa 3 years ago
"What did I do to deserve that?!!"- Hammerhead probably
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Daniel Atkins 3 years ago
True love = Answering yes to the question "Would you punch a shark for me?"
Sergio Bicerra Descalzi 3 years ago
Until a kid hits your elbow when running shouting "I'M GODZILLA!" and makes you spill your mashed doritos
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Cammy Cat 3 years ago
Yep! Punch them in the "nose". It's so sensitive, it makes them leave. Not sure if due to pain or what, but I have heard that several times
Pieter LeGrande 3 years ago
Give it a blood nose, blood in water, all sharks within 5km go on feeding frenzy, hundreds dead - yep M.WilliamBell is right violence solves nothing.
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M O'Connell 3 years ago
That might work for some people, but I'd prefer to stick with an old-fashioned donkey show, thank you.
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Hades (but good) 3 years ago
This story was originally published by There Is News, a website that carries the tagline “Not Real, but So Funny,” in March 2019. A disclaimer on the website explains that There Is News “is a humor site whose purpose is entertainment” and that the content on the website is “fiction and does not correspond to reality.” The image featured in this article also doesn’t show the “Belgian Circus.” It is available via Wikipedia where it is presented as if it shows “Trapecistas en Circo Americano.” The image available via Wikipedia does not blur the faces of these trapeze artists (most likely because they weren’t involved in an embarrassing diarrhea-related incident): link: https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/trapeze-artist-with-diarrhea/#:~:text=A%20trapeze%20artist%20with%20diarrhea%20defecated%20on%2023,on%2023%20people%20at%20a%20circus%20in%20Spain%3A?adlt=strict&toWww=1&redig=10436281BF5544B1998B0B593EBBD7E7
Courage the Cowardly Dog 3 years ago
Don't mind: who doesn't love the good ol' Cleveland Steamer
#15
Mattewis88 3 years ago (edited)
Still waiting for that third arm the anti-vaxxers promised me after I got the jab. My dresses don't have pockets.
ThatRandomGuy 3 years ago
Still waiting for all the radiation from computers to give me the power of flight *sigh*
Benita Valdez 3 years ago
Sorry your going through chemo but I'm curious what powers one would get from chemo
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But many readers forget to do their own due diligence before sharing stories on social media. In an attempt to prove it, the satirical news site the Science Post published a piece with a frightening headline: "Study: 70% of Facebook users only read the headline of science stories before commenting." The content of the text, however, was mostly blocks of "lorem ipsum" text. As of today, it has been shared over 194k times.
#16
Katy McMouse 3 years ago
Shut up, Nathaniel. I've had enough of you and your quick wit. I'm tired of being beat to the punch. Just. Tired.
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Pieter LeGrande 2 years ago
Well if my next kebab has black hair or whiskers in it I'll know who to blame
Colonel Cornelius Cornwall 2 years ago
He looks so good! I could eat him as a Gyro and some Falafle
#17
Ivo H 3 years ago
A bad one for me. The tension that someone will find out would easily kill me
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Cody 3 years ago
It's a poorly cropped meme. Anakin is saying here "Is it possible to learn this power?"
Load More Replies... Mika N 3 years ago
I looked it up, he was a building supervisor in Spain and was being awarded for 20 years of service. He said he stopped working due to bullying and because "there was no work to do" but kept getting his $41,500 salary from the government. They ordered him to pay $30k.
Mika N 3 years ago
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/man-skipped-work-for-6-years_n_56c1d32ae4b0b40245c72512
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phil blanque 3 years ago
Wait...the term for a US president is four years, not six, and it wasn't an award, it was a subpoena.
Lady Goldberry 3 years ago
I worked at ASDA briefly whilst I was pregnant with me eldest. For a couple of years after I left, I continued to get the 10% discount, cos, I dunno, they never did their leaving checklist properly or something. Funniest thing was when I got sent a £10 voucher 5 years after I had left, as a reward for having never had a day off.
Bill Dolman 3 years ago
I actually know of an incident like this. In the 1970s, a government department moved buildings after about 20 years in the same space. When they moved, the "payroll" part of the department discovered that they had been paying 2 people who hadn't been working there, had no office, and had not been seen for over a decade. They cheques had been mailed and cashed. No one knows what happened - or, at least, was willing to talk about it.
Mistiekim 3 years ago
They kinda did - when George worked for the Yankees he had that napping cubby put under his desk and just slept all day.
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#18
Nathaniel 3 years ago
"Oh, no. Oh, thank you, none of that foreign muck. What? Garlic bread? Garlic bread? Garlic? Bread? Am I hearin' you right? Garlic bread? No, thank you, I've got some milk roll in t'case that'll do me. The toasty loaf. The garlic bread!" Peter Kay.
AveryDancesWithDragons 3 years ago
My house now has mold and extreme water damage. Send help
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MonkeyInTheMiddle 3 years ago
That's the most Aussie thing I've heard for something burning down, "It smelt amazing but I felt so sad". A GARLIC BREAD FACTORY. I'm adding that to the list of reasons I'm living there. But then again, Canada has maple syrup reserves...
Fish Fingers 3 years ago
We had a scented candle factory burn down in my hometown. No punchline, it actually happened.
Kayleigh Davis 6 months ago
So in that case can we also trip up old people who get in our way? ... although I agree kids shouldn't run around but if the get up and move about the table, not getting in anyone's way, then that should be fine... their brains aren't fully functional yet, they are still learning and can only do this for a short time, which increases as they get older
Interestingly, it inspired researchers at Columbia University and the French National Institute to do an independent study of news consumption on social media. They collected the number of Twitter’s 280 million followers who potentially viewed and shared a news link and how many clicks those same links amassed. The researchers found that 59% of links shared on social media have never actually been clicked — users retweeted the news without bothering to read it.
"People are more willing to share an article than read it," study co-author Arnaud Legout said. "This is typical of modern information consumption. People form an opinion based on a summary, or summary of summaries, without making the effort to go deeper."
#19
Brandon Marlowe 3 years ago
It wasn't already? Damn! All this time I could have been.... wait. Did I say that out loud?
Mark Fuller 3 years ago
What???! Why the f**k? The uncontrolled little shits ruin a perfectly nice meal out because their parents let them run amok. I'm all for sticking my leg out. Have to admit, never actually done it, but by god the temptation...
Freya the Wanderer 3 years ago
On more than one occasion, when I went out to eat with Grandma some obnoxious kids wrecked our evening. It should be legal to punch out the lights of brats whose parents let them run amok.
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Mattewis88 3 years ago
Sign me up. The number of drinks and plates I spilt as a server because of uncontrolled kids.
Sergio Bicerra Descalzi 3 years ago
Restaurants should have complementary slingshots for cases like these.
DumYum 3 years ago
As a former waitress, kids like this are a nightmare not only to other diners but also a danger to the staff and themselves. We carry very hot food and drinks on large trays with glassware. Stupid parents. When my kid was little and acting up at a venue, I took her outside and said, you can scream and run around out here all you want and when you’re done we can go back inside. She would be relaxed after that.
#20
Kawaii Potato 3 years ago
If I didn't know what it was....I would be thinking it looks pretty...
Sarah Pierce 3 years ago
Wouldn't they be the most hopeful? You'd be wearing proof weddings don't always end well but going through with it anyway.
#21
Aunt Riarch 3 years ago
I'm impressed that someone managed to put one over on the insurance company
Load More Replies... Deborah Harris 3 years ago
Oh wow ..going out to buy me a boomerang and get me some insurance too
According to Professor Bowen, we, the readers, need to better understand the context in which news is being presented. "One important piece of that is to fact-check. Google will help readers find sources that are reliable and are generally truly journalistic in their approaches."
She stressed that it’s "absolutely imperative" to become media-savvy, especially when we "see deep fakes (visual and audio) on the horizon" as technology advances. "Media literacy is an important tool for each of us to have. It can save us from scams, phishing attempts, and, of course, 'fake news.' With media literacy comes the ability to distinguish fiction from fact and fact from opinion."
#22
foofoofloofy 3 years ago
It says "love of HIS life"...but that would be cool.
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Hemminsleifwa E 3 years ago
It's fake. That's Swedish celeb Elena Belle who was married to music producer Michael Theanne. He died in February 2020. This is just a fan picture.
#23
The lesbian knitting panda 3 years ago (edited)
did she really need to prove anything though? really?
BlackestDawn 3 years ago
And even if she proved something it would be that she was capable of this, not that every vegan can do it.
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M O'Connell 3 years ago
Plenty of people who AREN'T vegan die climbing Mount Everest, so nothing has really been proven either way.
Brian Michael 3 years ago
She died from altitude sickness coming down the mountain. Nothing to do with diet.
Boris Long-Johnson 3 years ago
This just in : vegan diet may lead to a lower tolerance to altitude sickness.
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Laura Gillette 3 years ago
I mean, plenty of non-vegan people have died climbing mt everest too, no?
Boris Long-Johnson 3 years ago
Sounds like we need more vegans to climb to see whether it makes any difference.
Load More Replies... CG 3 years ago
This, as far as I know, is not an isolated incident to just vegans. So far, there are a reported 300+ deaths on Mt. Everest.
Elizabeth Rose 3 years ago
No but you know how you take beef jerky and things that are lightweight to eat? Do you think she brought dehydrated eggplant strips or no?
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Koos Bezemer 3 years ago
all of the nicely dressed corpses on the mount everest were once highly motivated individuals
Bowen advised you, dear readers, to be diligent in searching for truthful information. "As William Shakespeare once said, 'Don't believe everything you read on the internet!' Make sure to find your information from solid, reliable sources. While their headlines might not be wacky, there's a treasure of truth to be learned. And enjoy every journey down your factually accurate and no less amazing rabbit holes," she concluded.
#25
Ash 3 years ago
Snopes correction: "There is no evidence Austin and Geoghegan were aware of any terrorist threat in Tajikistan, or that they travelled through that region particularly in order to vindicate their belief in human kindness. There is ample evidence that their trip was motivated by no more than a desire for adventure and life experience." Which is still not brilliant, but not QUITE as stupid! https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/millenial-couple-isis-tajikistan/
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nick seeberger 3 years ago
https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/millenial-couple-isis-tajikistan/ They were in an area with a level 1 travel warning by the US State Department which is the lowest level possible, and there is no evidence they were naive or trying to prove humanity is kind. The other posters deserve Darwin awards for believing everything they read and denigrating two human souls.
Giovanna 3 years ago
Me too, I don't understand the evil comments honestly
Load More Replies... Mario Strada 3 years ago
Do read the articles other have kindly sourced. These were not idiots but NGO workers. You can absolutely question their choice to travel to these places, but it wasn't like they set out to bike through an ISIS stronghold. It sounds like a local ISIS cell, or even a group of freelancers, saw them on the road and decided to leverage the situation. Sad story, but not complete idiots either.
Chancey 3 years ago
However, Austin and Geoghegan's dream trip came to a tragic and gruesome end when they got to Tajikistan, a country with a known terrorist presence. They were riding their bikes through the country on July 29 when a car rammed them, according to CBS News. Five men got out of the car and stabbed the couple to death along with two other cyclists, one from Switzerland and the other from the Netherlands. Two days later, ISIS released a video showing the same men sitting in front of the black ISIS flag. They looked at the camera and vowed to kill "disbelievers," according to The New York Times.
ShellsBells 3 years ago
For the most part, it is a real headline. They were biking through the area with other people, and they were doing humanitarian work along their journey, which included Africa, Europe, and central Asia. They did not, however, specifically target an ISIS territory to prove a point, they were just riding through Tajikistan.
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#26
Dave Nalesnik 3 years ago
“What you doin’ babe?” “Just chillin’.” “Not after I caught you cheating on me, you ain’t.”
Pug Pug 3 years ago
Good for him. I did the same thing. She moved out and we broke up, but I let her keep some stuff I bought because I still wanted her to succese, only to find out monts later she was screwing around on me while we were living togher. I went over there told her i would fix a few things, and walked out never to return, when she asked for them back, i told her to ask the people she was f*****g while I worked and paid all the rent for new stuff
Cara G 3 years ago
Listen, when I left my ex (abruptly), I took EVERYTHING from the house that had been purchased with my money. Curtains, bed linens, plates, the toilet paper, and an enormous 10lb bag of rice that I'd bought for him to use in his rice cooker. Sometimes being petty is the correct response.
#27
RoanTheMad 3 years ago
True though. It isn't the delivery Driver's problem. Keep an eye on your kids.
Kel_how 3 years ago
Before I read the actual headline, I thought it was saying he left 31 cheeseburgers AND a baby at someone's house
onivdsrapowijap 3 years ago (edited)
The kid even left a generous 25% tip! https://www.cnn.com/2022/05/21/us/texas-toddler-mcdonalds-cheeseburger-doordash-trnd/index.html
Daniele Ribolla 3 years ago
carrier is not responsible for the requested delivery, but a very big as**ole on the reply
Deborah Harris 3 years ago
I'm surprised the driver found the place, all our uber deliveries get lost ....
#28
Tina Smith 3 years ago
https://www.abc.net.au/news/2007-06-28/florida-man-shot-in-head-complains-of-headache/83320
Load More Replies... #29
Mario Strada 3 years ago
I'd like to see the economics of this scam. You have to get ferret(s), pump them with steroids, then sell them at a premium. I have a feeling that raising actual poodles may not be that much cheaper, but what do I know. Added: check your local shelter for dogs and cats, do not buy from puppy mills. All my pets have been rescues and all of them have been as children to me.
Scott Rackley 3 years ago
I get the rescue stuff, because I've rescued many. However, someone wanting a certain cat shouldn't be shamed because that's what they want. Because someone else can't spay/neuter their animals doesn't mean other people have to take what they messed up. I have two rescue cats and one Tonkinese. There was more background done to get the Tonk than renting my apartment.
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LoudMansLover 3 years ago
They're not poodles. (j/k, I get your joke but I've only owned poodles my whole life and am a huge fan lol). So, reverse joke.
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#30
It's Izzy 🇺🇦 (They/Them) 3 years ago
No, we are not going to taint the internet with those disgusting, knock off Tim-Tams. And yes, as an Aussie-English idiot, I have authority to say that. We are also ignoring I have never been to the UK either.
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Elizabeth Rose 3 years ago
Well you're voluptuous & beautiful so why not?
Load More Replies... #31
Chicken Nugget 3 years ago
I guess the guy’s SHOTS were just too strong...I’ll see myself out now
JJ(they/them) 3 years ago
you are iconic. applaud the breaded chicken y'all and remember; they taste best with ranch.
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Velocity Raptor 3 years ago
This could mean that the "bar worker" was shot by the bar tender and therefore wanted, no?
#32
Circa 3 years ago
I can kind of see where he's coming from though. Must have caused him so much bullying and distress over the years and his parents must have known that would happen.
Mark Fuller 3 years ago
They kinda deserve it. But wouldn't just legally changing his name maintain some level of social harmony?
Tina Hugh 3 years ago
It’s scary how everyone assumes these headlines are true
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RandomFrog(He/They️️) 3 years ago
Lmao I had a teacher who’s last name was Gaylord. She was homophobic, to add to it.
#33
RandomCitizen 3 years ago (edited)
I can only see one, so I think he must have the cash to pay for it, he is a lone shark.
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#34
Casey Payne 3 years ago
They had to wait until all their parents died. Who knew they were going to live that long? THAT is one stubborn family!
Celtic Pirate Queen 3 years ago
It was probably cheaper for them to remain unmarried, especially if they're on Social Security.
#35
Chicken Nugget 3 years ago
Oh that’s fraud..? Gotta break up with 364 of my girlfriends then oops
Katy McMouse 3 years ago
But you're a chicken nugget - you're allowed to be part of a ten piece.
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Stephanie A Mutti 3 years ago
What is the legal duty to tell another human the truth? We should assume there was something else fraudulent going on
#36
Jenny Fors 3 years ago
Only country that "really" exist is the US. And only the evangelical, uneducated, racist, misagonistic parts. Sorry, can't spell that "m" word
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Fred L. 3 years ago
Guess their protests were heard all around the globe.
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Amo Mazzuchelli 3 years ago
I love this, there's more apparently we (Aussies) are paid actors through NASA, yet not one of us have been paid yet???
T MB83 3 years ago (edited)
Haven't they paid you yet? You need to contact...oops, I have said too much..
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Marla 3 years ago
So the plane I was on was just doing donuts for 23 hours???? Was it all just a really large Outback Steakhouse?????
Deborah B 3 years ago
So all the people living in Australia... are they real? where do they live? if you fly to Australia, where do you end up? This creates so many unanswered questions.
Christof Irran 3 years ago
Have they considered the possibility that Australia might be on the underside of the flat earth...?
#37
Jenny Michelle 3 years ago
Maybe this was what that taxidermist saw when he recreated the Kings lion ... (I think it was a king ..can't remember)
Down With Agent Hedgehog! 3 years ago
No one would ever fall for that. I’m Chinese, and as far as I know most of the population does know what a lion look like.
#38
Robert T 3 years ago
This is real and has been featured on BP before. Just chalk it down to being Florida. ;-)
Monday 3 years ago
I've learned not to question anything with "Florida" in the title.
Load More Replies... Mikey Kliss 3 years ago
Horror movie idea. You think you on outrun the gator on land only for it to hop on a 4 wheeler and ride you down
BetterBitterButter 3 years ago
So the Florida man / woman thing is not a myth or urban legend?
Tiffi 3 years ago
As a Florida women who is married to a Florida man, i can attest definitely not an urban legend. They're real and out in the wild.
Load More Replies... Dave Nalesnik 3 years ago
Still puzzling over how one puts jeans on a gator. (Other than “very carefully “)
#39
#40
Brandon Marlowe 3 years ago
This has been a test of the zombie apocalypse warning system. If this had been an actual emergency you would have been instructed to tune in to your local station for further instructions. Repeat. This was only a test.
#41
El Dee 3 years ago
So nice to see someone enjoying a smoke. At her age it will make absolutely ZERO difference. Enjoy..
Aunt Riarch 3 years ago
I have a bet with fate. I do not want a tattoo, but I have made a vow that if I reach 90, I will get one.
#42
Purple light 3 years ago
Fake news, there wasn't any bible eating and the guy pictured is a sex offender, but he is not on death row.
Taki Takanashi 3 years ago
He's in the death row and you think that's the biggest problem about him? LMAO
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#43
Tina Smith 3 years ago
What I was able to find indicated it was a temporary loss and her brain scans were normal - so it's okay to chuckle at this one:-)
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Asi Bassey 3 years ago
Probably had a stroke from a ruptured blood vessel manifesting with amnesia.
Pieter LeGrande 2 years ago
Is there a linear relation between force used and years lost? Would make for a really interesting research topic.
#44
Bonnie Edwards 3 years ago
This is why Google started blurring out people. Cheaters getting caught on Google Earth, and the caught spouse then turning around and suing Google for breach of privacy.
#45
StayClassy 3 years ago
no he didn't: https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/postman-fathered-1300-children/
Philenzortia 3 years ago
This proves that vasectomy should be the norm and not stopping abortions. ONE man created 1300 persons (however I think this sounds a little bit odd). Sorry for the comment but my train of thoughts went there.
Freya the Wanderer 3 years ago
Even if this tale is baloney, it makes a good point!
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karl briggs 3 years ago
https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/postman-fathered-1300-children/ Fake.
Martin Kaine 3 years ago
Maybe "ring" had a different meaning in Tennessee 60ish years ago.
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FabulousMari 3 years ago
And I can't even get my mail to come regularly...(i'll see myself out...)
Carol Hume 3 years ago
I'm glad this is fake. Can you imagine the nightmare of the children becoming adults and unknowingly having relationships with their half-siblings???
#46
Kevin Hickey 3 years ago
You got the knife, I got the gun, Come on boy, we're gonna have a little fun.
#47
The lesbian knitting panda 3 years ago
For the non Brits Harrow is one of the fanciest private schools in the UK, along with Eaton, it is famous for churning out self-important rich twits who own golf courses.
Celeste Grant 3 years ago
(Probably drunk) Teenager killed for making stupid comment by adult whilst working as a bouncer.... whatever you think of the comment, or your judgement of the type of person the teenager was, I hope we would all think that no teenager deserved to die this way. If every teenager was killed for making stupid comments the population would be much diminished. It was the bouncers job to keep his cool and defuse any situations that may happen like this, not to strike out and use massive violent force to end life.
Zobi123 3 years ago
The bouncer wasn't working at the time. And he was 22. But still, the bouncer is the AH here.
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Sarah Bell 3 years ago
A person still died. Maybe he would have learned kindness and humility another way. It is instant karma in a way and he was being a pompous a*s but unless it was in self defense it was a murder.
Down With Agent Hedgehog! 3 years ago
Not all students from Harrow and ‘fancy’ private schools are rich shallow spoiled jerks. This is a stereotype. Just because their parents are relatively richer than most people doesn’t mean you get to judge the majority based on some of the stupid minority with zero proper education. It is not their fault, it’s all about their education and what type of family atmosphere they were raised in. I might be biased because I used to go to a Harrow school (not the British one). Fight me.
bottomless.abyss.of.bordem 3 years ago
You can't speak to folks they way your parents let you speak to them
Megan O'Neill 3 years ago
That's really sad. Why would they put a headline that made the dead, teenage victim such a target of ridicule. So unnecessary and cruel. He is still a dead kid and now the guy that punched him is a murderer. Just a bad situation all around. Terrible reporting. (sorry for ranting!)
#48
Mika N 3 years ago
Such a sad story! I looked it up and her original paralysis was caused by a neurological disorder after a bump on the head. They had hope that physical therapy could help again (though her symptoms were worse than the first time) but I couldn't find any updates :/ It happened in 2019. Hope things got better for her.
bottomless.abyss.of.bordem 3 years ago
Final Destination doesn't play. Probably coming around again.
#49
Fred L. 3 years ago
Kicked out? You can´t kick out students for just saying something stupid, classes would be empty.
Bi-Polar Express 3 years ago
I had a kid do something similar. And he decided to repeatedly yell his little not as clever as he thought it was comment over and over to try to get kids to react. As I tell my students constantly, you have no right to disrupt the education of others. I can't force you to learn. You can't keep others from doing it.
bottomless.abyss.of.bordem 3 years ago
It's a good thing we don't have stupid stuff, like freedom of speech
#50
Izzy Curer 3 years ago
I have a theory that Florida Man is everywhere, they just have really good news reporters in Florida
Smutná_elfka 3 years ago
There's been an article that Florida men are indeed everywhere, but Florida has some laws that make it very easy for journalists to get to these stories.
Load More Replies... Freya the Wanderer 3 years ago
Some people are definitely a turkey shy of Thanksgiving dinner.
Load More Replies... M O'Connell 3 years ago
An especially small microwave within a particularly large one.
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Dragons Exist 3 years ago
MrBeast microwaved a microwave microwaving a microwave microwaving a microwave
#51
#52
butt soup 3 years ago
you love a husband humiliating his wife by getting a an embarrassing photo of her permanently inked onto his body without her consenting for him to use the image? this level of disrespect is downright abusive
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The weird one 3 years ago
That’s fake. I’ve seen something exactly like this, with the exact photo and everything, but it was garlic bread. Which one is real?
#54
#55
#56
Brandon Marlowe 3 years ago
Amazing insight. I need to do more research but suspect that I might agree with him.
Nathaniel 3 years ago
Jared Leto is a creepy girl grooming wannabe sex cultist who is going to be the next R Kelly.
Boredpandahatesme 3 years ago
I love this guy because whenever you need someone to be that senseless douche he comes running
Jean-Daniel Mohier 3 years ago
And I don't think butcher shops would still exist without meat. Give me my oscar
#57
Billy Harrelson 3 years ago
Combine that with the story of the guy on LSD and you'd have a good story.
#58
Falcon on Dizzy 3 years ago
(I'm sorry for what I'm about to say) UwU what is that bulgie wulgie in your pants? OwO what's this? A SNAKE? AAAHHHHHH
#59
Brandon Marlowe 3 years ago (edited)
So....? Was it a girl or a boy? ...'talk about "burying the lead"!
Asif 3 years ago
It's actually "burying the lede". https://www.merriam-webster.com/words-at-play/bury-the-lede-versus-lead
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Potato Chimps 3 years ago
I'm sorry but that picture is awesome. Guy isn't even looking at the sign on the side of the bus with all the answers! (Unless maybe the color gave it away)
#60
M O'Connell 3 years ago
The story authors clearly haven't heard of the gentleman who prepared and ate 65-year old Jello, or the other gentleman who ate a 153 year-old cracker. Both are fine.
Powerful Katrinka 3 years ago
When I was a kid my mom scoffed at expiration dates. Moldy bread? Just eat the bits that aren't moldy. Hardened cheese? Melt it on something. 15-year-old steak sauce? Just shake it up. We not only survived, we thrived!
Huddo's sister 3 years ago
Many scientist have agreed, if the cheese is hard it's fine to cut the mouldy bit off and eat the rest, it's just the soft cheeses you can't do that with. I think there are mixed opinions on bread, but my mum would still eat the pieces that are not mouldy. Steak sauce I think has enough preservatives it should be okay for a long time after best before date, but the taste might have altered. I know that is the case with tomato sauce.
Load More Replies... Deborah Harris 3 years ago
News update: Will continue this story tomorrow because it's a cereal ( serial)
Freya the Wanderer 3 years ago
I've eaten canned soup more than a year after the "expiration" date. I'm still this side of the sod.
Huddo's sister 3 years ago
Usually if it's canned (in Australia), the date is a 'best before' not a 'use by' so is okay to eat after that. I think the main problem would be whether the taste changes or not. I know pepsi that is past the best before tastes feral!
Load More Replies... Huddo's sister 3 years ago
When we cleaned out my grandparent's house when they moved into the nursing home, most of the spices in their cupboard were from 1992. I think mum actually kept them, but don't know if she has ever used them!
bottomless.abyss.of.bordem 3 years ago
As long as she had the sense to increase the life insurance
#61
Dave Nalesnik 3 years ago
To be the one who knocked you out, for talking sh** about my store.
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bottomless.abyss.of.bordem 3 years ago
I think you better watch what you say about this guy
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#63
AcrylicMasquerade 3 years ago
It was thought to be a bite from the White Tailed spider, according to the article itself from 2017. Some claim they have necrotic venom but apparently no studies have shown this to be the case.
Tessb90 3 years ago (edited)
It depends on the individual person. Some get bitten by a white tail and can end up in a lot of trouble even in hospital. Otherwise if you're like me, you might just feel like s**t for a few days, but that bite will be itchy beyond all rationality, and apparently will flare up again every f*****g year for no f*****g reason whatsoever. This does not change in any way with subsequent bites, I'm yet to develop any sort of immunity to white tail bites. Luckily my cat has somehow developed the superpower for being able to smell a white tail spider specifically, if she's within a few metres, and then she deals with them.
Tessb90 3 years ago
She also takes care of the huntsman's too, not so much fun when she brings them to you as a very much alive gift...
Load More Replies... Powerful Katrinka 3 years ago
One of the large family of Australian "Nope" Spiders.
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#64
CG 3 years ago
I was gonna say a slightly groomed Dave Baker from Forged In Fire.
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Milena B. G. Rosa 3 years ago
I mean... He took the HIGH-profile part a little too literal, but at least he understood the assignment
#65
#66
The lesbian knitting panda 3 years ago
that's equivalent of yelling scissors after a cop asks for your papers
Chris reich 3 years ago
The tape would probably get more play if it had the guys arrest record on it.
#67
Laura Jackson 3 years ago
If this has even a grain of truth to it I am beyond screwed!
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Freya the Wanderer 3 years ago
I sense male bovine solid bodily waste ejecta.
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DC 3 years ago (edited)
My Grandfather, maternal side, always had made fun of forgetting stuff, mixing stuff up, etc. For decades. When it was not him making fun anymore, he pretended it still was ... hard to tell a difference, sometimes it still was, in the beginning at least. Dementia is a cruel POS, that makes the person you knew slowly die out of their body, that just continues to work for a bit more, as forgetting everything from new to old doesn't affect vital functions directly, ... And, a bit of more dark humor had been sliding into it the last year or so that he was still at home. So, kinda confirmable, that one...
#68
Izzy Curer 3 years ago
Come on, if you're getting paid minimum wage, you're not actually looking at the customer
ShellsBells 3 years ago
Totally agree. I was hanging out with some friends, who were younger than me. I was maybe 26. On the way to dinner, my friend gets pulled over for speeding and gets a ticket. Cop wrote there were 2 adults in front and 1 child in the back seat. I was said child. As we were getting seated at dinner, I was given a children's menu, with crayons. I may be petite, but no way could I be confused as a child.
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Petra Moon 3 years ago
My cousin often gets mistaken for a young teen. She has 4 kids. A workman knocked on her door last week and asked if her mum was in…🙄
Huddo's sister 3 years ago
I used to be pleased when the phone rang (and I actually answered it for once?) and the person asked if my mum was home because I could just say no and could hang up :) Still sounded like a kind when in my 20s. Was asked if I was eligible for the child's concession price at the pool recently, which as a 32 year old I don't know whether to accept as an ego boost or not.
Load More Replies... LeeAnne B 3 years ago
I'd like crayons and paper when I go eat out. Plus lots of ice cream and a nap after.
Huddo's sister 3 years ago
When I was in my 20s, I would sometimes take my colouring book and pens with me if I was going to a family dinner- good for coping with anxiety at having to be at family dinner and boredom from waiting for my mum to stop talking to someone so we could leave :)
Load More Replies... Gwynne Greene 3 years ago
Funnily enough , I own that top she is wearing .... 100 percent. Spooky 👻 but coming to think of the incident , and I think it is quite CHILD-ish what has happened , and in the end it was all fair game.
Lara Verne 3 years ago (edited)
Whatever. He had romantic dinner and got crayons and colouring book for free.
DC 3 years ago
You know ... I'd just pack it up and keep it for later, or to give to actual children of friends or so ... but, OTOH, there are adult colouring books, themed with mating animals or similar ... gifted one to someone a few weeks back...
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Death Luna99 3 years ago
I mean you never know he may of wanted that for when she's in the bathroom he had something to do
#69
Courage the Cowardly Dog 3 years ago
why not look to see if his palms are sweaty, knees are shaky
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Perendinator 3 years ago
Will the real Slim Shady please stand up? I repeat, will the real Slim Shady please stand up? We're gonna have a problem here?
#70
Powerful Katrinka 3 years ago
He was very upset when he realized what had happened, and offered to pay the losses back. The company said no, and fired him anyway. On a brighter note, someone started a Gofundme account for him, and it raised over 300,000 dollars.
Amy 3 years ago
He made a mistake. He wasn't stealing. He even offered to pay it back.
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What do you think ?
Circa 3 years ago
Amusing but several are joke headlines. Would be better if they were all real.
Will Tiernan 3 years ago
Exactly. The "news headlines" in the title implies that they are real. Disappointing.
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Donnie Mc00 3 years ago
one of the best headlines i ever read was a report of a Scottish football match between Glasgow Celtic and Inverness Caley thistle. Inverness won against all odds and humbled their opponents. The headline read: SUPER CALEY GO BALLISTIC CELTIC ARE ATROCIOUS!
KENOBI 3 years ago
Did anyone else read those bolder words like that one Mary poppins song
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User# 6 3 years ago
No headline will ever beat this: https://www.gawker.com/5839596/gordon-ramsays-porn-dwarf-double-eaten-by-badger
James Edwards 3 years ago
"Hi-Ho Hi-Ho, It's Up Your A**e We Go" surely made me chuckle 👍
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Circa 3 years ago
Amusing but several are joke headlines. Would be better if they were all real.
Will Tiernan 3 years ago
Exactly. The "news headlines" in the title implies that they are real. Disappointing.
Load More Replies... Donnie Mc00 3 years ago
one of the best headlines i ever read was a report of a Scottish football match between Glasgow Celtic and Inverness Caley thistle. Inverness won against all odds and humbled their opponents. The headline read: SUPER CALEY GO BALLISTIC CELTIC ARE ATROCIOUS!
KENOBI 3 years ago
Did anyone else read those bolder words like that one Mary poppins song
Load More Replies... User# 6 3 years ago
No headline will ever beat this: https://www.gawker.com/5839596/gordon-ramsays-porn-dwarf-double-eaten-by-badger
James Edwards 3 years ago
"Hi-Ho Hi-Ho, It's Up Your A**e We Go" surely made me chuckle 👍
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