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Person That Suffers From Allergy Went On A Date With A Cat Owner, Guy Caused A Scene When Told The Relationship Wasn’t Going To Work
Living life is like playing the lottery – you never know what you’re gonna get, and some folks get allergies. Well, not the very best choice, but definitely pretty unpleasant.
Indeed, allergies have been interfering with many of our lives for decades, changing routines, habits and hobbies. Especially when it’s an allergy to possibly the most wonderful creatures on this planet. Yes, we’re talking about cats.
As it happened to the author of the original post in the AITA Reddit community, which now has almost 1.9K upvotes and over 450 different comments. Yes, the Original Poster is allergic to cats – and this allergy has recently significantly affected their personal life.
More info: Reddit
RELATED:
The Original Poster’s friend suggested that they go on a date with her good friend
Image source: tuija2005 (not the actual photo)
The thing is that OP’s friend suggested that they go on a date with her old and good friend. The OP agreed – they liked the man right away, but what they didn’t like for sure was a stuffy nose literally from the first minutes of communication.
Image source: [deleted]
The OP is allergic to cats and they immediately suspected that the man had one at home
The OP immediately decided to clarify – and yes, there was no mistake, the man had a cat at home. Realizing how painful the consequences of allergies can be, as well as how difficult it is to constantly be treated for it, the OP decided to make a difficult decision on the go.
Image source: [deleted]
The OP tried to explain that they’d prefer not to start relationships due to their allergy issues
They explained to the man that it was better for them both to just move on and not continue to communicate – even despite the obvious mutual liking, because the OP did not want to live with a man by taking drugs every day.
Image source: [deleted]
The man was very upset and tried to ask OP to give him just a chance
We must admit, the man was very upset and said that modern medicine is able to cope well with allergies, and in general, this was not a good reason not to start a relationship with him. To this, the OP objected that they were just trying to be honest with him – after all, their relationship would probably be unlikely to progress because of his cat.
Image source: [deleted]
The OP simply paid and left, but their friend called them a jerk for being a bit offensive
Seeing that the man began to insist and gradually lose his temper, the OP simply called the waiter and asked for a split check. When they told their mutual friend about this, she just claimed that the OP was completely wrong – firstly, she offended a really good guy, and secondly, the cat is not a problem. Something could always happen to it later in its life…
Image source: Amy Truter (not the actual photo)
Most of the commenters, however, supported the OP as some of them were familiar with allergies themselves
However, commenters, many of whom were familiar with allergies firsthand, mostly supported the OP – after all, they really tried to be honest with the man, and it is better to refuse right away than to suffer for several months and then still part ways.
Some people recalled that, once in the place of the OP, they nevertheless entered into relationships, and their decisions eventually became something along the lines of masochism. In any case, the general consensus is that the OP did the right thing, honestly – and the man and mostly their friend are not exactly right.
Frankly speaking, we have our own kind of allergy – an allergy to posts without comments, so we will be happy for your opinions about this story, and even better – your own stories. In the end, any narrative of one’s own experience becomes much more important and way more interesting.
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Ivana Bašić 3 years ago
And if he'd offered to get rid of the cat, what kind of a jerk would do that? And after a single date, that would make him stalker material.
Miguel justino C 3 years ago
Ivana nailed this. First off he’s a cat dude and that’s rare, but if he said I’ll put them up for adoption we would have a different AITA. I went on a date with a guy and he said he would get rid of his cats for me, how would he treat children? He was damned if he did or didn’t. Sick of these
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aj 3 years ago
As a cat mum with bad allergies (not to cats fortunately but on allergy meds most of the year) absolutely NTA. I'd never consider dating someone with a pet hair allergy because 1. I would definitely *not* want my partner to have allergy symptoms 24/7 when around me, even meds aren't always enough and 2. having no pets in the future is not going to happen with me so the situation will never get "better" for the person with allergies which would just be unfair to them. It's absolutely 100% fine to not date someone because they're negatively impacting your health, even if it's involuntary.
Bunzilla 3 years ago
My eyes are currently goopy from allergies (even with allergy meds and allergy eyedrops), so I feel this. It just strikes me as weird that the person seems to think it would be totally fine if they just dated, even if the OP was getting symptoms just sitting near them. Don't know why they got so offended by being turned down, kind of a red flag right there. And the friend's comment of, "oh, you never know what'll happen, maybe the cat will run away or die" just seems really weird and creepy to me. People need to stop treating cats as throw-away pets (not sure I'd call myself a cat mom, but I've had cats around me my whole life, including one right now).
Load More Replies... Val 3 years ago
As a catmom of two kitties, I'd say NTA. I wouldn't want to make a person miserable and go through medication just because he/she is allergic to my babies. But also, I won't get rid of my cats. I wouldn't be offended when the other person doesn't want to continue dating for this reason.
Truth Monster 3 years ago
I find it a bit strange she's thinking of co-habitation on the first date, but she's not wrong for protecting her health and well-being.
Tracy 3 years ago
If you're dating someone with the hopes of finding a long-term partner, it makes sense to rule out anyone you know that couldn't happen with. Otherwise you're getting attached to someone and will eventually have to grieve a breakup and then try again.
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NicNor5560 3 years ago (edited)
One of my sport therapists had a cat that liked to sleep in his closet. Every time I drove my car from that therapy to the next (I should explain that I saw 4-5 therapists a day), I'd get a huge migraine that they had to take care first, on top of having my nose and throat all stuffed up. When I made the connection, he started keeping clothes at the clinic, just for me, which solved the problem. He even took a shower there, just in case. I love animals, we just can't be together. I take meds every day for my allergies and got shot for about 6 months to contain them. Then my daughter's BF bought her a dog that was supposed to be non-allergic. I got 3 pneumonias in 6 months. The doctor said either the dog goes, or the daughter with the dog. She left, she was only 19 and not really ready to go but wanted the dog. I understand the OP perfectly but I don't understand talking about living together on a first date. People really do that?
Poeha 3 years ago
Oh I smell that you have a cat. I can't marry you, sorry.
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Allison B 3 years ago
Nta but the whole thing about moving in during a first date is a bit strange. Personally I agree that she shouldn't have been drawn into an argument and should have just paid and left. Maybe I'm mistaken but she comes across to me as very abrupt. Of course it's hard to tell thru text only.
Kusotare 3 years ago
NTA, but I don't think the date was the AH, either. I mean, having a cat is more than owning a cat (never mind that you don't really own a cat, the cat owns you). Being a cat owner is part of who he is, which is fine and great, but is also incompatible with somebody who is allergic to cats. Modern medicine can do wonders to ALLEVIATE symptoms, but not eliminate them. I know. I'm allergic to cats, possibly as much as the OP (I have reacted to cat owners whether or not the cat was present, too). And if he had offered to get rid of the cat, that suggests something far more problematic. Better to nip this problem in the bud. Too bad the date took it personally.
Ansi 3 years ago
I totally agree with you and also the above comment from you that this isn't strange, just thinking ahead. "Nip this problem in the bud" is how I think about it. There's no future for an enthusiastic cat owner and someone with severe allergy. Better to not start anything instead of setting yourself up for heartbreak. They are not a good fit for each other from the start, and not getting to know one another and getting attached is the best option even if it sucks.
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C W 3 years ago
Funny I was the opposite. A new guy came to town and we instantly hit it off. When I found out he was allergic to cats I looked him in the eyes and he looked at me and he said “it’s over isn’t it” and I said “Yep” and that was that. Good guy we’re still friends but no chance at a romantic relationship he can’t come into my house and be part of my family.
Shane S 3 years ago
Why did this conversation go on so long? He should have accepted NO as an answer and you should have just ended the date and not argued. I am a cat owner and lover, and yes a lot of people blame their hatred of cats on allergies. I find it highly suspicious that you had a reaction just sitting across the table. It’s possible but if you’re that allergic, you can’t rule out environmental factors at the restaurant. Regardless, it should have been obvious to you both that you were never going to have a respect or appreciation for his animals so the date was pointless. Bad match.
Amanda Thompson 3 years ago
I used to have a severe cat allergy and had asthma attacks sitting near people with cats - sadly it’s possible.
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Lisa H 3 years ago
If someone I'm dating said I have to get rid of my cat- there's the door, buddy. That being said, he was kind of a big baby about her allergies. If I went on a date with someone that had allergies that bad and said it wouldn't work out because I have a cat, then okay. Bummer, but we would move on with our respective lives. My cat is my child, but I wouldn't ask someone to put up with severe allergies and argue with them about it. I get really bad seasonal allergies and I know the feeling of trying to function in a medicated fog. This guy is an immature jerk and needs to grow up. I like that he cares about his animals, but that's as far as it goes.
Ivana Bašić 3 years ago
And if he'd offered to get rid of the cat, what kind of a jerk would do that? And after a single date, that would make him stalker material.
Miguel justino C 3 years ago
Ivana nailed this. First off he’s a cat dude and that’s rare, but if he said I’ll put them up for adoption we would have a different AITA. I went on a date with a guy and he said he would get rid of his cats for me, how would he treat children? He was damned if he did or didn’t. Sick of these
Load More Replies... aj 3 years ago
As a cat mum with bad allergies (not to cats fortunately but on allergy meds most of the year) absolutely NTA. I'd never consider dating someone with a pet hair allergy because 1. I would definitely *not* want my partner to have allergy symptoms 24/7 when around me, even meds aren't always enough and 2. having no pets in the future is not going to happen with me so the situation will never get "better" for the person with allergies which would just be unfair to them. It's absolutely 100% fine to not date someone because they're negatively impacting your health, even if it's involuntary.
Bunzilla 3 years ago
My eyes are currently goopy from allergies (even with allergy meds and allergy eyedrops), so I feel this. It just strikes me as weird that the person seems to think it would be totally fine if they just dated, even if the OP was getting symptoms just sitting near them. Don't know why they got so offended by being turned down, kind of a red flag right there. And the friend's comment of, "oh, you never know what'll happen, maybe the cat will run away or die" just seems really weird and creepy to me. People need to stop treating cats as throw-away pets (not sure I'd call myself a cat mom, but I've had cats around me my whole life, including one right now).
Load More Replies... Val 3 years ago
As a catmom of two kitties, I'd say NTA. I wouldn't want to make a person miserable and go through medication just because he/she is allergic to my babies. But also, I won't get rid of my cats. I wouldn't be offended when the other person doesn't want to continue dating for this reason.
Truth Monster 3 years ago
I find it a bit strange she's thinking of co-habitation on the first date, but she's not wrong for protecting her health and well-being.
Tracy 3 years ago
If you're dating someone with the hopes of finding a long-term partner, it makes sense to rule out anyone you know that couldn't happen with. Otherwise you're getting attached to someone and will eventually have to grieve a breakup and then try again.
Load More Replies... NicNor5560 3 years ago (edited)
One of my sport therapists had a cat that liked to sleep in his closet. Every time I drove my car from that therapy to the next (I should explain that I saw 4-5 therapists a day), I'd get a huge migraine that they had to take care first, on top of having my nose and throat all stuffed up. When I made the connection, he started keeping clothes at the clinic, just for me, which solved the problem. He even took a shower there, just in case. I love animals, we just can't be together. I take meds every day for my allergies and got shot for about 6 months to contain them. Then my daughter's BF bought her a dog that was supposed to be non-allergic. I got 3 pneumonias in 6 months. The doctor said either the dog goes, or the daughter with the dog. She left, she was only 19 and not really ready to go but wanted the dog. I understand the OP perfectly but I don't understand talking about living together on a first date. People really do that?
Poeha 3 years ago
Oh I smell that you have a cat. I can't marry you, sorry.
Load More Replies... Allison B 3 years ago
Nta but the whole thing about moving in during a first date is a bit strange. Personally I agree that she shouldn't have been drawn into an argument and should have just paid and left. Maybe I'm mistaken but she comes across to me as very abrupt. Of course it's hard to tell thru text only.
Kusotare 3 years ago
NTA, but I don't think the date was the AH, either. I mean, having a cat is more than owning a cat (never mind that you don't really own a cat, the cat owns you). Being a cat owner is part of who he is, which is fine and great, but is also incompatible with somebody who is allergic to cats. Modern medicine can do wonders to ALLEVIATE symptoms, but not eliminate them. I know. I'm allergic to cats, possibly as much as the OP (I have reacted to cat owners whether or not the cat was present, too). And if he had offered to get rid of the cat, that suggests something far more problematic. Better to nip this problem in the bud. Too bad the date took it personally.
Ansi 3 years ago
I totally agree with you and also the above comment from you that this isn't strange, just thinking ahead. "Nip this problem in the bud" is how I think about it. There's no future for an enthusiastic cat owner and someone with severe allergy. Better to not start anything instead of setting yourself up for heartbreak. They are not a good fit for each other from the start, and not getting to know one another and getting attached is the best option even if it sucks.
Load More Replies... C W 3 years ago
Funny I was the opposite. A new guy came to town and we instantly hit it off. When I found out he was allergic to cats I looked him in the eyes and he looked at me and he said “it’s over isn’t it” and I said “Yep” and that was that. Good guy we’re still friends but no chance at a romantic relationship he can’t come into my house and be part of my family.
Shane S 3 years ago
Why did this conversation go on so long? He should have accepted NO as an answer and you should have just ended the date and not argued. I am a cat owner and lover, and yes a lot of people blame their hatred of cats on allergies. I find it highly suspicious that you had a reaction just sitting across the table. It’s possible but if you’re that allergic, you can’t rule out environmental factors at the restaurant. Regardless, it should have been obvious to you both that you were never going to have a respect or appreciation for his animals so the date was pointless. Bad match.
Amanda Thompson 3 years ago
I used to have a severe cat allergy and had asthma attacks sitting near people with cats - sadly it’s possible.
Load More Replies... Lisa H 3 years ago
If someone I'm dating said I have to get rid of my cat- there's the door, buddy. That being said, he was kind of a big baby about her allergies. If I went on a date with someone that had allergies that bad and said it wouldn't work out because I have a cat, then okay. Bummer, but we would move on with our respective lives. My cat is my child, but I wouldn't ask someone to put up with severe allergies and argue with them about it. I get really bad seasonal allergies and I know the feeling of trying to function in a medicated fog. This guy is an immature jerk and needs to grow up. I like that he cares about his animals, but that's as far as it goes.
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