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36 Hurtful Times That Made These Folks Notice Who Their Real And True Friends Were
A great thinker of the past, Voltaire, is often credited with the phrase: “God, save me from my friends, and I can handle my enemies myself.” In fact, the origins of this incredibly wise phrase go back to ancient Rome, when Julius Caesar was literally backstabbed by one of his closest friends and adherents.
Indeed, friends and loved ones are those individuals from whom we least expect any unpredictable actions to harm us. And that’s largely why we react so painfully to any fact, any story of such betrayal. So here’s a selection of several dozen such stories, collected for you by Bored Panda.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
When I was around 16 I came out to my best friend as bisexual. I have been attracted to women since a very young age amd was ready to open myself to a same s*x relationship. A week later all of our friends were being particularly nasty to me and I couldn't figure out why. Turns out my "best friend" had told everyone SHE was bisexual and that I hated her because of it.
She also told a whole heap of other seriously f****d up lies over the years, but this one took the cake.
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#2
Happened a few months ago and just got the verdict a couple weeks ago.
Im 15 and a boy, I was friends with this guy. He was pretty clingy outside of school always wanting to meet up. He's an only child and I guessed that was why.
He came round my house as we sometimes would however he never mentioned a sleep over. He made up some b******t to stay round the night. In the night he went downstairs, stole my mums credit card and bought £2000 worth of stuff online.
Now the p***k has 7 months community service and everyone at school knows.
#3
One of my wife's friends had been a total judgy b***h since the start of things. This b***h started a stream of drama that almost caused us to break up when we were dating.
Skip ahead 2 years, I have to go pick up said friend from the airport and wife says of course that I am to BE NICE! Really, be nice to that c**t?
Well, I pick her up, I'm extra nice, and we actually have a good time just alking and hanging out, finally I'm starting to see that maybe things could turn around and no drama....boy was I wrong....
My expectation was that she and I would get along and she would tell my girlfriend what a nice good guy I was if she even said anything.
She goes to my girlfriend now wife and says I was flirting with her - I had NO f*****g interest in flirting with that c**t, I just did what the gf said and was nice. Active immediatley after that, no longer welcome in my d**n house! You say a bunch of lies and contrived s**t about me first - then I'm extra nice to the piece of s**t and she thinks I'm flirting with her.
Somedays I think I should have become a monk!
In fact, betrayal and backstabbing have accompanied humanity since the earliest centuries of history. Biblical heroes and characters from the Mahabharata, ancient mighty warriors, described by Homer, and majestic Norse gods all betrayed each other. If you take any even slightly significant figure in world culture, you can be sure that betrayal will feature in their story.
But why does this actually happen? Why do people who have stood by our side for so long, for years and decades, supporting us and always offering good advice, suddenly do a 180 and leave us speechless at the very least? Well, in this collection of stories, we will try to figure this out.
#4
A few years ago I had an iMac that I was selling because I had just bought a fancy new PC that I was going to use for gaming.
I had it listed on various sites for around $1,800 (which was a fair asking price for the model at the time), and had gotten a few bites, nothing concrete.
A (then) friend of mine asked if he could buy it, and he asked if I could do a mates rates deal for him. Being a good friend, I obliged, and sold it to him for $1,500. It was a little less than I wanted but hey, its only money and I was happy to see it go to a friend.
Not 2 weeks later I ask him how his new iMac is going, and he tells me that he sold it for $1,850, making a cool $350 profit.
When I asked him why he sold it after asking for mates rates, he said 'yeah, but I never said I was going to keep it.'
Total s*****g. I later learned he's the kind of person who'd sell his own mother for a 10% discount.
#5
I met this girl who was a friend of a friend, seemed like a sweet girl, a few years younger than me. We ended up becoming friends. It turned out she was pregnant and in a terrible living situation.
Like, the roaches were trying to eat her at night bad. No way I could let her stay there, let alone bring a newborn there, so we made a deal. I needed someone to watch my kids while I was at work, keep the house picked up, make sure the kids were fed etc etc. She came to live with me and my two kids with the understanding that she would take care of the kids and the house while me and SO were working full time.
I bought everything the baby needed, was there when he was born, helped teach her how to take care of him, got her clothes and everything she needed. Far above and beyond our deal. It wasn't long at all before she wasn't doing any of the things she was supposed to. She'd cook for herself and leave my kids to fend for themselves while she laid in her room and watched Netflix. She'd trash the house and never clean it. I, of course, got sick of it and gave her a month and a half notice to find a job, somewhere else to live, and get out.
Needless to say, she never bothered to look for a job. She seemed surprised when I did indeed kick her a*s out right before Christmas (which I had bought her kid presents for). She ended up going to stay with her grandparents.
Almost six months later, after refusing to talk to me all that time, she got ahold of me to tell me to gather up her things because she was going to have a couple men I'd never met come to my house and get them.
B***h, what things!? Aside from your clothes, that you took with you, and the baby things that I BOUGHT for your kid that you also took with you, you don't have s**t! Anything that could have possibly been hers was long gone, my home is not a storage locker. She blocked me on everything and bad mouthed me to a few people but everyone was already aware of how worthless she was so. ..hmm. I think I'm still a little bitter.
#6
Roommate broke our lease and gave me a 1 week notice to move out because she "didnt like having a dog". Next week on snapchat her and her new roommates got a dog.
Let’s start with the fact that history, as usual, is written by the victors. So what we consider a famous historical betrayal could well have gone down in history from a completely different angle. Take, for example, Julius Caesar and Brutus, who orchestrated and carried out a conspiracy against his former friend. Brutus is forever etched in world history as the epitome of a traitor.
But everything could’ve turned out differently if Brutus, rather than Caesar’s lieutenants, had won the civil war that erupted in Rome following the conspiracy. Then historians would undoubtedly write that Brutus simply rid Rome of a cruel tyrant (and they would be partly right), and the traitor would become a hero.
#7
My best friend told me that she would not support my goal of training for a half marathon. I am running for St. Jude in Denver this October. She told me that I will just quit my training and that my goal was stupid. This cut me like a knife. I have always been there for her and this betrayal really caused me to evaluate our friendship.
#8
My best friend (who was best man at my wedding and had been my best mate since we were ~12) convinced my wife to break up with me and be with him.
They're married now, and have two kids.
#9
I don't know if it's a technical backstab, but my childhood friend has been in and out of prison in the last few years, and she got caught (again) and gave the cops MY name. Because, and i quote: "You're my only friend who has a clean record."
Well, the cops came to my house in the middle of the f*****g night. They pretty much knew she was lying but still had to confirm that I was...me. Needless to say, I don't speak to her anymore.
As we can see, people encounter betrayal everywhere in their lives. But why are people prone to backstabbing others? Well, this dedicated study, published at Psychology Today, explains that the issue lies in our trust in people who can intentionally harm us. At the same time, we often overestimate how well others treat us, not expecting any kind of betrayal.
As a result, the violation of friendship expectations sharply impacts our self-esteem and sense of security, ultimately lowering our overall level of trust in people. Betrayal by those closest to us is especially traumatic. The authors of this study at PubMed Central show a direct correlation between the closeness of the traitor and the traumatic nature of the incident.
#10
My mother was extremely a*****e to me growing up, but what child doesn't want mommy to love them? So, on the eve of my eighteenth birthday, she was so sweet to me, talking laughing and being nice to me. She would sometimes be in ce, so it wasn't to surprising. She then put some very soothing Christian music on and told me that God loved me and he would forgive me anything, so it would be safe to confess my sins. Lulled by attention and her very coveted love, I told her I slept with my boyfriend and I felt like it was the wrong thing to do.... She promised she wouldn't tell my dad, my daddy is my hero, I would never forgive myself if I let him down. She even promised she wouldn't tell my little brothers and sister. The next day, in a fit of rage at me for not cleaning the bathroom, she started to slap me while screaming for everyone to "come here". She then told them everything, every gory detail. (My Siblings were four eight and thirteen) I picked up my back pack and threw my four quarters in it with a shirt and a pair of shorts and told her where she could go. I'll never forget my daddy's face, holding my presents saying " you can't leave without your presents baby" he was crying. I walked across the Elpaso desert and hitched a ride with a truck driver. I've never forgiven my mother.
#11
I was friends with the only girl in my school who wasn't white. We loved hanging out together! The only time I was sent to the principal's office was because I punched a girl who was making fun of her skin and hair.
The next year another girl enrolled with a similar skin color .
I noticed that she didn't invite me over any more, and only talked to me in group discussions in class. When I asked why she didn't want to hang out anymore she told me "because I found someone more like me.".
#12
I had an amazing group of trusted friends. Some were from kindergarten. I left home at 17 because I was gay and every one, not some or most but all turned their backs when i visited...they were scared others would think them gay. I was home for moms funeral.
Betrayal is often explained by “rational” and pragmatic motives. That is, when choosing between a “losing” course of action, while still being loyal to a friend, and a clearly “winning” one, a person often picks selfishness over loyalty. However, the reactions of betrayal victims can also be rather pragmatic.
For example, this study, published at UCLA Newsroom, shows that people tend not to automatically judge a betrayer as completely untrustworthy if the act ultimately benefits or does no harm. In other words, we, too, tend to perceive betrayal through personal gain and consequences. After all, we’re only human.
#13
I was in college, and my relationship status turned rocky. I was depressed, working nonstop, or maybe I had just been fired - I can't even remember.
I straight was about to break mentally.
So naturally, my roommate and only real friend in the area decided to try and convince my girlfriend to leave me. This revelation, along with a couple other s**t happenings, caused that mental break.
I still haven't recovered fully from it. She's gone, he's gone, I'm back living with my parents, and try as I might, my brain just doesn't function like it used to. I'm not as quick witted, not as humorous, not as anything.
I feel as if I'm sixty years old, every day. And I'm convinced I'm going to d*e a failure, poor, alone, and unremarkable.
#14
Moved schools once.
My first friend was this kid. He had a few friends but really was the loner type of kid. I was friends with mainly him at first, throughout the year I made more. Eventually we weren't that good of friends. The girl he had a crush on said she had a crush on me so that didn't help.
One random day at the end of the year, we were all talking about how the year went. Told him how much I was thankful that he was my friend at the beginning of the year.
M**o stole my cellphone right out of my backpack during that conversation and I didn't know it. Found out later that day because somebody found it laying out in the parking lot. Dude called for his ride home on my phone and tossed it at the ground. I have no f*****g clue why.
I didn't talk to him again after that. Shortly after I started dating that girl though. Didn't even realize at the time that I was getting my revenge lol.
Okay, in any case, the main thing in any collection of stories is not the explanation of why people act one way or another, but the stories themselves. So now, our dear readers, please feel free to read this list to the very end, and maybe add your own similar tales in the comments, in case you've also faced something like this in your lives.
#16
Let a good friend move in. She'd been caught in a DWI, lost her job, lost her apartment, was sleeping in her car in the middle of January.
We begged a spare mattress from friends, gave her clothes, paid for food and cigarettes, didn't ask for rent or utility money, bought toys for her two kids. She said that when she was evicted, she pretty much lost everything.
About the same time, my oldest dog was diagnosed with bone cancer. She was too old to go the amputation/chemo route, so the decision was made to give her pain pills to keep her comfortable until the end.
Fast forward two months. I go to give my dog her evening dose of meds, and the bottle of 120 pills I'd picked up at the vet 10 days earlier was empty. Took about five minutes to realize that my good friend who was living rent and expenses free, was stealing my d**ng dog's pain meds. About ten minutes after that, she was out on the sidewalk.
#17
When I was in 5th grade, I'd walk to school with my 3 friends.
One day, there were 4 of us (not odd because sometimes someone joined us). About half way to school, one of my friends said, ok, stop. Pointed to the new guy and said "now." This new guy, who was way stronger than me, beat me up.
When I was on the ground, my now ex friend walked up and explained that I'd pissed him off (he explained what it was, but I've forgotten since, but I recall it was petty), so he got the other guy to beat me up. By the way, our other mutual friend stood there looking very guilty the whole time.
So, I stayed on the ground as they walked away. Got up when I knew they were gone. Went to school and got through the day. Never spoke to them again except in passing in high school.
In high school reunions, I've had the opportunity to ask why that happened, but some things are just so beyond you leave them alone. However, the guy who looked guilty has always been over-friendly to me. I think he still has regrets for letting that happen, because he didn't stay friends with the other guy for long after that.
#18
My 'best friend' let me crash with her after I was able to escape an a*****e relationship. She was married and while her husband was deployed, she cheated. He found out (I'm guessing the neighbors tipped him off since they knew him well enough) and she was convinced I had told him, so she kicked me out, then proceeded to go to my ex a****r's work and tell him where I was.
#19
She started f*****g my then husband and then lied about it. When my marriage was falling apart, I confided in her. She turned around and told him everything I had said.
I'm glad to be rid of them both.
#20
A friend went on vacation to Florida. A group of other "friends" burglarized his home. They blamed me for robbing him. Little did they know that I was gone to Texas when this all occurred. F**k them.
#21
My best friend acting inappropriately towards my boyfriend on a spring break trip (a trip that I wasn't on because I went home to visit my dog who was dying). Thankfully he told me about it and I was able to confront her. I still feel sick to my stomach when I think about it.
#22
When I was young my group of friends all had a copy of Pokemon ruby/ sapphire/ emerald, except one guy who I'll call Dan. Well we are all out up to no good on a building site, sitting on scaffolding and playing some Pokemon, when Dan declares "someone's coming!" Naturally we all leg it and I drop my gameboy advance in the process. We all make it to a safe spot and Dan heroically passes me my gameboy that he picked up, however emerald was missing. He says it must have fallen out, I was just happy I didn't lose everything.
So we get to school the next day and guess who's mother finally bought them Pokemon emerald. I had no evidence so couldn't get my game back but that was the beginning of the end of mine and Dan's friendship.
#23
I had 5 pieces of art from a school project physically stolen by another girl who had recently moved to our district. My best friend of 5 years took her side because they had recently become friends. I had evidence (and still do) that she took the pieces because she had posted replicas of them on her instagram about a day after they had gone missing. My best friend ended up cornering me in a bathroom with three other girls and told me to leave the girl who had stolen my art alone. I went to the principle about it but he made it obvious that he didn't care and at that point I gave up. Never got anything back. The girls who cornered me ended up making a teacher hate me after telling the teacher I made it all up to get in the girl in trouble.
Edit: About a year later I asked one of the girls who defended her if she had really taken the art and she said "Oh yeah it was hanging on her bedroom wall the whole time." :/.
#24
Okay, so there was a guy who was my friend. We hung out and stuff. Played tabletop games. He came over to my place a couple times with some other friends. All the usual stuff. This went on for about...six months? I thought we were god friends during that time.
Haha, no. I guess he had a chip in his shoulder about me from day one. One day, I get a nice, long, expletive laced email explaining in no uncertain terms that they had, to sum it up, been more then patient with me (they even said that they were still trying to be nice?) that we were not friends, that I was a bad person, and that we shouldn't talk anymore. He ended the email with 'I await your reply'.
Yeah. I had a nervous breakdown and a half, cried a bit, agonized over what I could have done better. Never replied, though. Some real friends of mine helped me through it, and a week later I was back on my feet.
Then, nearly four weeks later, after not a single word from them, I get another email. All it said was 'I don't feel the need to hold a grudge'.
If I had been sad before, I was furious now. I spent the next week wondering how worth it it would be to knock them down a flight of stairs. However, I didn't respond in any way, face to face or email.
I still haven't talked to him. And I never will. He can d*e alone and friendless for all I care.
**TL;DR: If a 'friend' turns out to hate you, it isn't worth crying over. You haven't lost anything. In fact, you've gotten rid of some trash in your life.**
Edit: Forgot to add this. This technically wasn't out of the blue; there were a few instances where this guy would flash that maybe he didn't like me. Mainly by always sending me emails telling me how he really felt and never saying it to my face. The day in particular we got into a fight-playing DND, he kept looking up facts on the monster they were fighting and sharing them loudly, despite me repeatedly telling him not to (all you DND players know the DM needs some level of authority). He then held up the game for about five minutes insisting I was a wrong about a monster fact. Turned out to be a glitch with the website; he didn't apologize, though. Later that day I got the email that I mentioned originally.
Edit 2: He actually apologized recently. Over email, of course. And it didn't sound very sincere, sort of like those napologies they get over on raised by narcissists.
#25
When I was a little kid, my "best friend" stole all my Polly Pockets and gave them to another girl, because she wanted a new best friend.
F*****g w***e.
#26
I personally don't have a good one but if you were to ask my great grandfather when he was alive it was when his best friend sold him out to the n**is over a girl. He spent several years in Buchenwald and Mauthausen cause of that.
#27
Told a womanizer friend of mine to stay away from my ex. He doesn't. She keeps coming 'round (friend and me were roomies) and stealthy s*****ng him. Both lie to me about it. If they would have at least told the truth I would have gotten over it.
Eventually she tries to get back with me and is constantly complaining about him to me. I point out that there is still s***n on her clothes from earlier that day.
I dated a h*. lol.
#28
In grade 5 we had a "name the fish" competition and the money went to the children's hospital. I entered the names "Hope, Faith and Charity" for the three fish. Shortly after I entered my names, I told my "best friend" the names I had entered for the fish. At the school assembly where they were announcing the winners, I knew I had a shot so I was so excited when they said "THE WINNER OF THE NAME THE FISH COMPETETION, WITH THE ENTERED NAMES OF HOPE, FAITH, AND CHARITY, IS ljhns' FRIEND!"
w*f h*e, she stole my names and won the prize, which was a 1kg block of chocolate which she wasn't allowed to eat anyway because her mum had her on a strict diet because of her diabetes. To top the story off, knowing she had backstabbed me, she offered her chocolate to everyone else but me. stupid h*e.
#30
Oh awesome, I have a recent one to tell you all! My friend and I both worked as managers at McD's. I had been dealing with depression from my job, a very low income, and no hopes of going back to school for a career. If either myself or my boyfriend had tried, we wouldn't have had the funds to support ourselves. My friend was in university to become a surgeon. She came from a rich family. She honestly worked for extra spending money. Her boyfriend was about to go back to school as well and already had a high paying job. She had it pretty good and I was happy for her, we were all good friends.
I eventually contacted an employment agency that with government funding helped people build their skills and work towards getting a better job. They didn't find you a job but they pushed you in the right direction and gave you the tools to succeed and the means to access jobs other people might not have known about. So I get hooked up with this sweet accounting administrator job, and I ask one of my bosses and my friend to be a positive reference. They both agreed they went over what they would say roughly, and I went in for the interview.
I nailed it! Everyone was super impressed, and at the end of the day I got a call back saying I got the job. I was practically in tears. I wouldn't be living pay cheque to pay cheque anymore. I had doubled my income, salary office position, great benefits, vacation, you name it.
On my second day, my employment consultant came to speak to both myself and my direct boss/supervisor. As my boss leaves the room, the consultant says "Um, just so you know, you should probably not use your second reference." And I'm like what? She said "it... it was bad."
I sit down with my boss 2 months later and somehow the topic comes up. We went into a meeting room and closed the door and spoke about it and she asked me our relationship. I told her we were good friends, worked amazing shifts together, had each other's backs at work and always did a great job. She ended up saying a lot of nasty s**t about me and doing a complete 180° mid interview. My boss said it was so unlike my other references, they completely disregarded it and she ended up calling my employment consultant upset and angry that my friend had done that to me.
Needless to say, a month later I calmly asked her about the reference she gave, and she went on a huge rant about not wanting to be apart of my drama and that i had better not bother our boyfriends about this and if I contacted her again she would call the police.
Psycho.
TL;DR Asked friend to be a positive reference so I could get out of poverty, she back stabbed me but thankfully I got the job anyway.
#31
My best friend of 12 years wasn't just my best friend. He was my brother, as far as I was concerned.
Until he tried to steal $500 from me. I had thought he was getting into some scary d***s, because he suddenly starting acting like a colossal d**k to me for no reason, and a d**g habit would explain the sudden douchiness and the stealing. I even talked to his mother, concerned that my buddy was struggling with an a*******n. If he was sick, I wanted to help him, even if he hated me for it. I didn't wanna see him end up in jail or d**d.
But nope - he was just a garden variety thief who yelled at me for "tattling to his mom".
A few years later, I found out from a mutual friend that he had f****d several of my girlfriends behind my back through the years and had recently bragged about never being caught doing it.
F**k you Steve. You traded a friend who had your back for life for a measly $500 and some trashy p***y. Hope it was worth it, you p***k.
TLDR - I'm easy to take advantage of, if you're someone I trust.
#32
My friend of around 4 years lied to my girlfriend at the time telling her I was cheating to get her to sleep with him. This was near the end of highschool and the only real drama I had but the hardest thing about it is finding out two of your friends are s****y at once.
#33
I grew up in some apartments as a kid. And I made a lot of friends there immediately. But because I moved there late I wasn't able to go to the same school as said friends. There was this one kid in particular named 'Edward' he was so cool and extremely popular. But what I didn't realize is that he treated me like s**t.
So after about a year of being friends with these kids but going to a different school. I finally got into the same school. I was really happy because I could finally hangout with my "best friend" Edward. We weren't in the same class so I would hangout with him and his friends during recess. This is 5th grade by the way.
But after a week of school I naturally started making new friends and one recess I was hanging out with someone else. Again I say Edward was the most popular kid in school so people would do anything for him.
I'm having a good time with my new friend during recess and then some kid comes up and says "Edwards gonna kick your a*s after school." I just look and don't say anything.
After school comes and Edward and his posse f*****g throw rocks at me the whole way home.
But I was a f*****g idiot and took those friends back constantly until I met real friends in middle school that I still talk to today. So i guess thats one of the many times ive been backstabbed by a friend. If I contact Edward today we'd be cool but f**k he tormented my life and if I could beat him down since I finally grew up and got bigger I would.
But it's in the past now I suppose.
Edit: a letter.
#34
My friend slept with my girlfriend on our prom night.
Afterwards, the two of them ended up dating.
The two of them somehow convinced our entire group of friends that I was the bad guy in the scenario, apparently because me being upset about it 'caused drama'...
I walked away from that entire group and haven't looked back since. That was 7 years ago.
#35
In my first year of university, I was coming from a small town so I didn't know anyone. During that first week, I met this girl. This girl and I didn't talk much until our third week through the semester when we started to hang out more, and the more I got to know her, the more I fell for her. It was complicated to date within our program, so I confided in a close friend I had met during the first week of school on how things were. This friend listened to me throughout the semester and even gives me advice and encouragement.
I finally made my move after a lot of flirting and getting close and the answer was no. S***s but that's life, right?
A couple weeks after the rejection, I'm working in one of the classrooms with a buddy of mine and I tell him about how this girl rejected me and how much I liked her. His face visibly pales and he tells me that my friend, who I have been confiding in this entire time, had been f*****g her behind my back about a week after he found out I liked her and refused to tell me, even when I straight up asked if he was interested in her as well.
There's nothing I can do to change that girl's mind, but the fact that someone so close to me, lied to my face for so long really f****d me up for the rest of that semester.
#36
Copying from another thread I wrote this in.
It was my freshman year, first water polo tournament ever. I got my period for the first time before my game and couldn't figure out how to get a tampon in. Like, you want me to stick stuff up there?? Hell no.
My mom was hours away and her phone was d**d and my sister was out of the country. I hid in my hotel room's bathroom crying in anger and pain, and I thought my roommate, my best friend at the time, sympathized with me. She was consoling me and saying everything was going to be all right. So I told her to go ahead and tell the rest of the team I was sick and that I would catch a ride to the high school we were playing at with another parent, and she went on her merry way.
After I managed to get a tampon in, I showed up about half an hour late to my team warming up and discovered that my supposed 'best friend' had told the entire team (~20 or so teenage girls, freshman to senior) and my twenty-five year old male coach that I couldn't get a tampon in and I was crying in the bathroom. Bad enough, right?
Nope, a few weeks later at the lunch table she brings it up to the rest of my friends and laughs about it. About the fact that I was scared about my period and couldn't get a tampon in.
F**k you Abby.
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