Hey Pandas, AITA For Standing Up To My Sister After She Said My Freelance Career Doesn’t Count As “Real Work”?

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I (27F) work from home as a freelance illustrator and a comic artist on social media. I make enough to pay my bills comfortably, I have regular clients, and I’ve been building my portfolio for almost 5 years now. My family has never really taken my job seriously, but I stopped caring a long time ago because I like what I do and I support myself.

My older sister (33F) just had her first child two months ago, and since then she has been expecting everyone to drop everything to help her. She and her husband live about 10 minutes away from my parents, so she often shows up there unannounced and leaves the baby with them because she is tired or stressed. My parents are retired, so they help when they can. I visit a lot too, and I do help sometimes, but not constantly.

Last weekend, we were having a small family lunch, and my sister showed up with the baby already crying

Adult hand gently holding a baby's hand, representing babysitting and family care in a close-up image.

Image credits: Aditya Romansa (Not the actual photo)

She immediately said she needed a break and asked me to take the baby for “just a few hours tonight and probably tomorrow too.” I told her I couldn’t because I had a client deadline and I really needed to finish a project that night.

She rolled her eyes and said, in front of everyone, “Deadline? You draw cartoons at home. You’re basically unemployed. You can do it another time”

Dark workspace with a colorful digital art display on a monitor, illustrating the theme of babysitting refusal and unemployment debate.

Image credits: Emily Bernal (Not the actual photo)

I just sat there stunned. My dad looked uncomfortable, my mom looked like she wanted to disappear, and her husband told her to relax because she sounded rude, but she ignored him.

Something in me snapped because I’ve tried so hard to not let their comments get to me. I told her very clearly that I don’t appreciate her disrespect, that my job is real, and that if she keeps acting like my time means nothing, then she can stop asking me for help altogether.

She looked shocked and started crying, saying motherhood is hard, and I was kicking her while she was down. She left shortly after

Person wearing white sweater holding smartphone, illustrating refusing to babysit sister’s baby after being called unemployed

Image credits: Kelli McClintock (Not the actual photo)

My parents think she was wrong, but they also think I should have been “gentler” because she is struggling emotionally. My brother says she needed to hear it. Her husband texted me later, saying he understands, and he actually wishes she would stop dumping responsibility on everyone.

But now my sister is sending me messages saying I don’t care about family and that this is why nobody wants to rely on me.

Am I at fault in this situation?

Moderator’s note

Please be aware that the images used in this article are illustrative only and do not depict the actual people or events described.

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