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Bride Considers Deleting Her Friend’s Engagement Photos, The Internet Supports Her
Interview
Most of us have heard at least one story of proposing at someone else’s wedding. People agree it’s selfish, thoughtless and insensitive, and yet it happens time and again.
One such story comes from an upset bride whose friend “not only got engaged at my wedding but instead of hiding it and announcing it later, she announced it to our friends during the party.” In the author’s friend’s mind, “it’s no longer the day I got married, it’s now also the day she got engaged,” the bride wrote.
As if that wasn’t enough, it turned out that the engaged guests asked the bride’s wedding photographer to take some photos of them. “She didn’t really see a problem since we weren’t back yet and they were guests. That’s until she realized they were engagement pictures,” the author explained.
Now that the wedding is over, the bride is left with not only a bad aftertaste but a full folder of her guests stealing her spotlight on the day she got married.
RELATED:
An upset bride wonders if she would be wrong to delete her friend’s photos since they got engaged during her wedding and told her photographer to take photos of the proposal
Image credits: Emma Bauso (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Jesus Arias (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Jessica Lewis Creative (not the actual photo)
Image credits: throwrawedphotos
To find out more about what an expert has to say in regards to proposing during someone else’s wedding, we reached out to Jen Glantz, the bestselling author and founder of Bridesmaid for Hire and The Newlywed Card Game, a voice of You’re Not Getting Any Younger podcast, and the brains behind Jen & Juice coaching and digital courses.
According to Glantz, “Even if it seems like a good idea to propose at someone else’s wedding, it’s likely something that takes the attention and energy off the couple and isn’t the right thing to do.”
When asked what’s her advice for the newlyweds who had their guests get engaged on their wedding day, Glantz argues that it might be tough to acknowledge that happened. “But it’s just part of the story now and one day it might even make for a good laugh!” she commented.
And when it comes to rude guests, Glantz said that it’s important to “remember that a wedding is an invite to someone’s party so respect the couple as much as possible.” She added: “Try not to get too drunk, start fights, roast the couple getting married, or even bring uninvited guests with you.”
The commentators condemned those who get engaged at someone else’s wedding and expressed their support for the bride
What do you think ?
Randolph Croft 3 years ago
I'm a photographer. I've done a few weddings - long ago. I primarily do historical architecture, wildlife and urban nightscapes. However, something like this actually happened and they asked me if I'd do the same sort of thing - it was in a 14th century church in Venice. I told them I'd shoot 'em, but my price was €750 for 10 prints (1993!) and processing. They hemmed and hawed, but agreed. I told the bride about it and we split it between us.
Not_Tellin 3 years ago
You paid for the pictures and the photographer. You would be within your right to delete the photos. It's tacky and crass and crude to get engaged at someone else's wedding. And it is beyond unbelievable that they actually use your photographer, without your permission, to take their engagement photos. I would tell her unless she wants to pay for all of the pictures, she gets none of them. I would not offer to split the cost. Or, you can just delete the pictures and pretend you didn't even see them.
Isabel 3 years ago
There's an update to this! https://old.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/i8133g/update_wibta_if_i_deleted_my_friends_engagement/ Basically, the bride talked it out with her friend who got engaged at her wedding, who admitted she was in the wrong but essentially wanted what she wanted. The photographer didn't want to paid extra for these photo's and the bride decided to take the high road and gave them to her friend for free. She describes their friendship as having taken a hit though. All in all a classy move by both the photographer and the bride I thought.
Munnin 3 years ago
She's a better person than I am. I would have deleted them, told her I deleted them, and ended the friendship. If the friend was completely unaware that her bf was going to propose at the wedding, I'd let it slide. However, having the audacity to hijack the photographer I paid for would really p**s me off. This friend took advantage and seems to be very comfortable doing so (if she wasn't, she wouldn't have done an engagement shot at someone else's wedding). She did what she wanted regardless of the fact that she was at someone's wedding. I wouldn't remain friends with someone like this, I certainly wouldn't have rewarded her bad behavior by giving her the pictures.
Load More Replies...
Invisible Potato 3 years ago
there are basic set of social rules for a guest at someone else wedding... dont wear white, dont anounce anything (engagemnt, baby, cancer, new plasma tv...), dont f*ck the Newlywed (or-to-be-wed), that is soooooo simple, and still, every day, i read about this... its like, on someone else birthday party, you dont get to shuš the candle for them....
Charles Williams 3 years ago
Almost nobody would think that it would be ok to get engaged at someone's funeral but so many people think that it's ok to get engaged at someone's wedding, reception, birthday party, retirement party, etc. All of these are celebrations that deserve to not be interrupted. A wedding is a celebration of a future life together. A birthday is a celebration of a life being loved. A retirement party is a celebration of a life at a job. A funeral is a celebration of a life lived. Don't ruin any celebration by trying to take the spotlight from that person, whether with an engagement announcement or a pregnancy announcement. Definitely NTA. Delete the pictures and go on with your life. Hopefully, without the rude people in your life.
Vanja Vidovic 3 years ago
Funerals are not happy events. But sometimes there are double funerals and nobody complains about it.
Load More Replies...
Untethered Universe 3 years ago
Oh boy. Did you have fun at your wedding? Were your guestd happy? Why create all that drama then? "BUT I WANT IT TO BE SPECIAL, BUT FOR ME ONLY" The world does not revolve around you. So they amde an engagement on your wedding. Big deal. Was it the wrong place? Sure. Did it impact you directly? I doubt so. Stop being angry at everything and everyone for stuff like that. It's a waste of time and energy. Weddibgs are overrated anyway.
Cathy Hurd 3 years ago
On your wedding day the world absolutely does revolve around you.
Load More Replies...
Nancy Collins 3 years ago
I think what the friend did was super crappy, but I'd probably just give her the pictures and cut ties with her.
Bekah R 3 years ago
Yes she should have freaked out and told her stupid boyfriend to stop proposing at her friends wedding!!!! How stupid of him.
Load More Replies...
Randolph Croft 3 years ago
I'm a photographer. I've done a few weddings - long ago. I primarily do historical architecture, wildlife and urban nightscapes. However, something like this actually happened and they asked me if I'd do the same sort of thing - it was in a 14th century church in Venice. I told them I'd shoot 'em, but my price was €750 for 10 prints (1993!) and processing. They hemmed and hawed, but agreed. I told the bride about it and we split it between us.
Not_Tellin 3 years ago
You paid for the pictures and the photographer. You would be within your right to delete the photos. It's tacky and crass and crude to get engaged at someone else's wedding. And it is beyond unbelievable that they actually use your photographer, without your permission, to take their engagement photos. I would tell her unless she wants to pay for all of the pictures, she gets none of them. I would not offer to split the cost. Or, you can just delete the pictures and pretend you didn't even see them.
Isabel 3 years ago
There's an update to this! https://old.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/i8133g/update_wibta_if_i_deleted_my_friends_engagement/ Basically, the bride talked it out with her friend who got engaged at her wedding, who admitted she was in the wrong but essentially wanted what she wanted. The photographer didn't want to paid extra for these photo's and the bride decided to take the high road and gave them to her friend for free. She describes their friendship as having taken a hit though. All in all a classy move by both the photographer and the bride I thought.
Munnin 3 years ago
She's a better person than I am. I would have deleted them, told her I deleted them, and ended the friendship. If the friend was completely unaware that her bf was going to propose at the wedding, I'd let it slide. However, having the audacity to hijack the photographer I paid for would really p**s me off. This friend took advantage and seems to be very comfortable doing so (if she wasn't, she wouldn't have done an engagement shot at someone else's wedding). She did what she wanted regardless of the fact that she was at someone's wedding. I wouldn't remain friends with someone like this, I certainly wouldn't have rewarded her bad behavior by giving her the pictures.
Load More Replies... Invisible Potato 3 years ago
there are basic set of social rules for a guest at someone else wedding... dont wear white, dont anounce anything (engagemnt, baby, cancer, new plasma tv...), dont f*ck the Newlywed (or-to-be-wed), that is soooooo simple, and still, every day, i read about this... its like, on someone else birthday party, you dont get to shuš the candle for them....
Charles Williams 3 years ago
Almost nobody would think that it would be ok to get engaged at someone's funeral but so many people think that it's ok to get engaged at someone's wedding, reception, birthday party, retirement party, etc. All of these are celebrations that deserve to not be interrupted. A wedding is a celebration of a future life together. A birthday is a celebration of a life being loved. A retirement party is a celebration of a life at a job. A funeral is a celebration of a life lived. Don't ruin any celebration by trying to take the spotlight from that person, whether with an engagement announcement or a pregnancy announcement. Definitely NTA. Delete the pictures and go on with your life. Hopefully, without the rude people in your life.
Vanja Vidovic 3 years ago
Funerals are not happy events. But sometimes there are double funerals and nobody complains about it.
Load More Replies... Untethered Universe 3 years ago
Oh boy. Did you have fun at your wedding? Were your guestd happy? Why create all that drama then? "BUT I WANT IT TO BE SPECIAL, BUT FOR ME ONLY" The world does not revolve around you. So they amde an engagement on your wedding. Big deal. Was it the wrong place? Sure. Did it impact you directly? I doubt so. Stop being angry at everything and everyone for stuff like that. It's a waste of time and energy. Weddibgs are overrated anyway.
Cathy Hurd 3 years ago
On your wedding day the world absolutely does revolve around you.
Load More Replies... Nancy Collins 3 years ago
I think what the friend did was super crappy, but I'd probably just give her the pictures and cut ties with her.
Bekah R 3 years ago
Yes she should have freaked out and told her stupid boyfriend to stop proposing at her friends wedding!!!! How stupid of him.
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