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If you think holidays are weird these days, then you clearly haven't seen these 19th-century Victorian Era Christmas cards that were just as creepy as those times themselves. Bored Panda has gone through an expansive TuckDB Ephemera's vintage Holiday greetings postcard collection to gather some of the most bizarre postcards ever made. From frogs stabbing each other to Krampus (a half-goat, half-daemon) entertaining the ladies in the best Victorian Era fashion manner... Yeah, there isn't a more random way to say 'Merry Christmas' to someone these days, but when you think of it, these seasons greetings actually work as a time machine and reveal the relevant topics of those days.

After looking at these Christmas cards, you might be interested to know why exactly was the Victorian Era so creepy, and while there aren't any precise answers to that, we have managed to find some pretty good clues as to why. For starters, the life expectancy in the Victorian Era England was incredibly low as the middle class got around 45 years to live, workers only half of that and children were lucky to survive their 5th birthdays. Because of that, everyday funeral processions were nothing out of the ordinary, and you couldn't scare any Victorian with dying or all the creepiness that comes with it. On top of the high mortality, Victorian Era people were very sexually repressed and confused. So much so, that women were not allowed to ride horses the same way as men, so as not to arouse any feminine passions. On the other hand, male Victorians were so horny, that curved table legs were seen as sexual and were often covered with special cloths. So there you go, a mix of death fascination and sexual frustration is probably what made the Victorian Era as creepy as it was.

Which one of these terrifying greeting cards would like to find in your mailbox to raise your Christmas spirit? Vote below! (h/t)

#1

Greetings From Krampus

Greetings From Krampus

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iblowsheep
Community Member
9 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sad thing is my 5 year old son would scream his damn head off if we asked him to sit on Santa's lap but would run with his arms extended toward Krampus.

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    #2

    May All Jollity ‘lighten’ Your Christmas Hours

    May All Jollity ‘lighten’ Your Christmas Hours

    indiana.edu Report

    #3

    A Merry Christmas To You

    A Merry Christmas To You

    HorribleSanity Report

    Hans
    Community Member
    9 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Obviously, people a long time ago could also be fed up with christmas greetings...

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    #4

    May Yours Be A Joyful Christmas

    May Yours Be A Joyful Christmas

    ttglibrary.com Report

    Julianna McGinnity
    Community Member
    9 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When I think of Christmas, I definitely think of dead birds.

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    #5

    Wishing You A Merry Christmas

    Wishing You A Merry Christmas

    recordoffice Report

    SweeptheLeg
    Community Member
    9 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Back in the days when people and animals alike dressed and behaved much more formally than today.

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    #6

    May Christmas Be Merry

    May Christmas Be Merry

    indiana.edu Report

    Janice Foster
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't mind this - at least they look friendly. No sense of impending doom like some of the other cards...

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    #7

    A Merry Christmas

    A Merry Christmas

    Report

    #8

    A Happy Christmas

    A Happy Christmas

    Boston Public Library Report

    SweeptheLeg
    Community Member
    9 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Children heads in flowers is the stuff nightmares are made out of.

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    #9

    A Merry Christmas And A Happy New Year

    A Merry Christmas And A Happy New Year

    National Library of Ireland Report

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    #10

    Wishing You A Happy Christmas

    Wishing You A Happy Christmas

    eph.tuckdb.org Report

    Yvonne Bernal
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Because nothing says Christmas more than a voodoo doll and cannibals

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    #11

    Here's A Crow For Christmas

    Here's A Crow For Christmas

    tuckdb.org Report

    #12

    Wishing You A Jolly Christmas

    Wishing You A Jolly Christmas

    indiana.edu Report

    Bobby jones
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Lucky that's a water jug and not the chamber pot.

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    #13

    A Happy Christmas

    A Happy Christmas

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    #14

    A Hearty Christmas Greeting: Four Jovial Froggies A Skating Would Go; They Asked Their Mamma, But She’d Sternly Said, ‘no!’ And They All Came To Grief In A Beautiful Row. There’s A Sweet Christmas Moral For One Not Too Slow. Just So!

    A Hearty Christmas Greeting: Four Jovial Froggies A Skating Would Go; They Asked Their Mamma, But She’d Sternly Said, ‘no!’ And They All Came To Grief In A Beautiful Row. There’s A Sweet Christmas Moral For One Not Too Slow. Just So!

    Nova Scotia Archives Report

    #15

    A Merry Christmas To You

    A Merry Christmas To You

    alamy.com Report

    Ava Masumi
    Community Member
    9 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    the product of somebody's feverish nightmare

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    #16

    A Merry Christmas

    A Merry Christmas

    Report

    Ava Masumi
    Community Member
    9 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    this one would be perfect for Halloween

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    #17

    A Happy Christmas To You

    A Happy Christmas To You

    dams-brightonmuseums.org.uk Report

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    #18

    So Please Excuse This Impecunious Card, As All I’m Good For Is A Used Up

    So Please Excuse This Impecunious Card, As All I’m Good For Is A Used Up

    eph.tuckdb.org/ Report

    Janice Foster
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ohhkaaaay, so someone's been on the illicit substances again...

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    #19

    Absent Friends [natives], May We Soon See Them Again! A Merry Christmas To You

    Absent Friends [natives], May We Soon See Them Again! A Merry Christmas To You

    National Library of Ireland Report

    Yvonne Bernal
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I know mussels have feet, but this is too much! ha haha

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    #20

    A Happy Christmas

    A Happy Christmas

    recordoffice Report

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    #21

    A Happy Christmas To You

    A Happy Christmas To You

    tuckdb.org Report

    Lindsay Ropiak
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A believable reaction to Frosty coming to life.

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    #22

    May You Spend A Happy Chritmas

    May You Spend A Happy Chritmas

    John Holbo Report

    Daria B
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Jellyfish in the sky. Reminds me of those modern day pictures depicting a young person, or a city with flying fish in the air.

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    #23

    A Merry Xmas

    A Merry Xmas

    Sydney Living Museums Report

    #24

    Wishing You A Purr-Fectly Happy Christmas

    Wishing You A Purr-Fectly Happy Christmas

    flickr.com Report

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    #25

    With Love And Good Wishes For A Happy Christmas

    With Love And Good Wishes For A Happy Christmas

    tuckdb.org Report

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    #26

    Wishing You A Merry Christmas

    Wishing You A Merry Christmas

    University of Glasgow Library Report

    Ava Masumi
    Community Member
    9 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This one is actually nice. Just like some of Aesop fables' illustrations.

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    #27

    The Best Wishes Of The Season To You

    The Best Wishes Of The Season To You

    libraryofbirmingham Report

    Yvonne Bernal
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I thought it was the 6th day of Christmas and the '6 geese a laying' were going to be laying on the dinner table.

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    #28

    Every Good Wish For Your Christmas

    Every Good Wish For Your Christmas

    libraryofbirmingham Report

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    #29

    A Victorian Snowman

    A Victorian Snowman

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    #30

    A Right Merry Christmas To You

    A Right Merry Christmas To You

    Report

    #31

    A Jolly Christmas. May Christmas Pass As Merrily With Us As With This Enterprising Little Puss Who Quite Enjoys The Flirting And The Fuss

    A Jolly Christmas. May Christmas Pass As Merrily With Us As With This Enterprising Little Puss Who Quite Enjoys The Flirting And The Fuss

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    #33

    Wishing You A Happy Christmas

    Wishing You A Happy Christmas

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    #34

    May Xmas Be As Bright As Purest Gold

    May Xmas Be As Bright As Purest Gold

    recordoffice Report

    Hans
    Community Member
    9 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Exactly as I imagine Australia.

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    #35

    Hurrah! For The Jolly Christmas Tree

    Hurrah! For The Jolly Christmas Tree

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    #36

    A Christmas Greeting

    A Christmas Greeting

    historymaniacmegan.com Report

    #37

    The Night Is Dark And My Messenger Moth Has The Weight Of My Love To Bear, To Fly To The Light Of Thy Laughing Eyes, And Lay Down His Burden There. The Sun Shall Arise To Gild The Snow, That Hushes Each Human Tread, My Love Shall Wait Thy Door, Sweetheart, Where My Messenger Moth Lies Dead

    The Night Is Dark And My Messenger Moth Has The Weight Of My Love To Bear, To Fly To The Light Of Thy Laughing Eyes, And Lay Down His Burden There. The Sun Shall Arise To Gild The Snow, That Hushes Each Human Tread, My Love Shall Wait Thy Door, Sweetheart, Where My Messenger Moth Lies Dead

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    #38

    With Many Merry Christmas Greeting

    With Many Merry Christmas Greeting

    tuckdb.org Report

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    #39

    Before I Go Out Of The Picture Pass... I'd Like You To Meet This Cute Little Lass!

    Before I Go Out Of The Picture Pass... I'd Like You To Meet This Cute Little Lass!

    HiraganaAmericana Report

    #40

    A Merry Christmas To You

    A Merry Christmas To You

    civilwartalk.com Report

    Joannakathryn
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    All these years....we only left him cookies and milk when what he really wanted was wine.

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    #41

    Best Wishes For Christmas

    Best Wishes For Christmas

    Nova Scotia Archives Report

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    #42

    Merry Christmas Day! Happy, Bright And Gay! Fortune Guard You Aye, Like A Brave Dog Tray

    Merry Christmas Day! Happy, Bright And Gay! Fortune Guard You Aye, Like A Brave Dog Tray

    recordoffice Report

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    #43

    Hold To The Light And Then You'll Find The Stocking Filled With Toys Of Every Kind

    Hold To The Light And Then You'll Find The Stocking Filled With Toys Of Every Kind

    recordoffice Report

    #44

    A Happy Christmas To You

    A Happy Christmas To You

    tuckdb.org Report

    #45

    The Merry Dance When Dinner Is Done

    The Merry Dance When Dinner Is Done

    libraryofbirmingham Report

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    #47

    I Have Come To Greet You. Inside: Loving Christmas Greetings, May Smiling Faces Ring Around Your Glowing Hearth This Christmas Day, May Fun And Merriment Abound, And All Your World Be Glad And Gay

    I Have Come To Greet You. Inside: Loving Christmas Greetings, May Smiling Faces Ring Around Your Glowing Hearth This Christmas Day, May Fun And Merriment Abound, And All Your World Be Glad And Gay

    eph.tuckdb.org Report

    #48

    A Joyful Christmas To You

    A Joyful Christmas To You

    recordoffice Report

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    #50

    Good Luck!good Luck! I Say Be Yours This New Year's Day!

    Good Luck!good Luck! I Say Be Yours This New Year's Day!

    flickr.com Report

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    #51

    All Christmas Joy Be Yours

    All Christmas Joy Be Yours

    historymaniacmegan.com Report

    Keke OrzitPanda
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What's those lyrics in Jethro Tull's old song, “Eyeing little girls with bad intent?” Yeah, that's what this scene reminds me of...

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    #52

    A Jolly Christmas

    A Jolly Christmas

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    Michael Kane
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No dont go fishing over there... Merry Christmas.....

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    #53

    Bright Be Thy Christmas

    Bright Be Thy Christmas

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    Teri Stearns
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I didn’t get anything great for Christmas this year. Just some Chinese junk.

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    #54

    May All The Pleasures Of The Season Attend You

    May All The Pleasures Of The Season Attend You

    libraryofbirmingham Report

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    #55

    Christmas Orders

    Christmas Orders

    vintagehalloweencollector Report

    Tom Rennick
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nazi jackboots? So it was all forecast before we were even born... ADOLF-HITL...e8e9f4.jpg ADOLF-HITLER-63a86aee8e9f4.jpg

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    #56

    May Every Happiness Be Thine, This Happy Christmas Day

    May Every Happiness Be Thine, This Happy Christmas Day

    libraryofbirmingham Report

    #57

    While Christmas Is Here Be All Of Good Cheer

    While Christmas Is Here Be All Of Good Cheer

    flickr.com Report

    Claire Kidd
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It'd be a lot easier if that lazy boy got off and helped!

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