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If you think holidays are weird these days, then you clearly haven't seen these 19th-century Victorian Era Christmas cards that were just as creepy as those times themselves. Bored Panda has gone through an expansive TuckDB Ephemera's vintage Holiday greetings postcard collection to gather some of the most bizarre postcards ever made. From frogs stabbing each other to Krampus (a half-goat, half-daemon) entertaining the ladies in the best Victorian Era fashion manner... Yeah, there isn't a more random way to say 'Merry Christmas' to someone these days, but when you think of it, these seasons greetings actually work as a time machine and reveal the relevant topics of those days.

After looking at these Christmas cards, you might be interested to know why exactly was the Victorian Era so creepy, and while there aren't any precise answers to that, we have managed to find some pretty good clues as to why. For starters, the life expectancy in the Victorian Era England was incredibly low as the middle class got around 45 years to live, workers only half of that and children were lucky to survive their 5th birthdays. Because of that, everyday funeral processions were nothing out of the ordinary, and you couldn't scare any Victorian with dying or all the creepiness that comes with it. On top of the high mortality, Victorian Era people were very sexually repressed and confused. So much so, that women were not allowed to ride horses the same way as men, so as not to arouse any feminine passions. On the other hand, male Victorians were so horny, that curved table legs were seen as sexual and were often covered with special cloths. So there you go, a mix of death fascination and sexual frustration is probably what made the Victorian Era as creepy as it was.

Which one of these terrifying greeting cards would like to find in your mailbox to raise your Christmas spirit? Vote below! (h/t)

#1

Greetings From Krampus

Greetings From Krampus

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iblowsheep
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7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sad thing is my 5 year old son would scream his damn head off if we asked him to sit on Santa's lap but would run with his arms extended toward Krampus.

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#3

A Merry Christmas To You

A Merry Christmas To You

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Hans
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7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Obviously, people a long time ago could also be fed up with christmas greetings...

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#4

May Yours Be A Joyful Christmas

May Yours Be A Joyful Christmas

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#5

Wishing You A Merry Christmas

Wishing You A Merry Christmas

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SweeptheLeg
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7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Back in the days when people and animals alike dressed and behaved much more formally than today.

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#6

May Christmas Be Merry

May Christmas Be Merry

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Janice Foster
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7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't mind this - at least they look friendly. No sense of impending doom like some of the other cards...

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#8

A Happy Christmas

A Happy Christmas

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#10

Wishing You A Happy Christmas

Wishing You A Happy Christmas

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#11

Here's A Crow For Christmas

Here's A Crow For Christmas

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#12

Wishing You A Jolly Christmas

Wishing You A Jolly Christmas

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#14

A Hearty Christmas Greeting: Four Jovial Froggies A Skating Would Go; They Asked Their Mamma, But She’d Sternly Said, ‘no!’ And They All Came To Grief In A Beautiful Row. There’s A Sweet Christmas Moral For One Not Too Slow. Just So!

A Hearty Christmas Greeting: Four Jovial Froggies A Skating Would Go; They Asked Their Mamma, But She’d Sternly Said, ‘no!’ And They All Came To Grief In A Beautiful Row. There’s A Sweet Christmas Moral For One Not Too Slow. Just So!

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#15

A Merry Christmas To You

A Merry Christmas To You

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#16

A Merry Christmas

A Merry Christmas

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#18

So Please Excuse This Impecunious Card, As All I’m Good For Is A Used Up

So Please Excuse This Impecunious Card, As All I’m Good For Is A Used Up

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#19

Absent Friends [natives], May We Soon See Them Again! A Merry Christmas To You

Absent Friends [natives], May We Soon See Them Again! A Merry Christmas To You

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#22

May You Spend A Happy Chritmas

May You Spend A Happy Chritmas

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Daria B
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7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Jellyfish in the sky. Reminds me of those modern day pictures depicting a young person, or a city with flying fish in the air.

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#24

Wishing You A Purr-Fectly Happy Christmas

Wishing You A Purr-Fectly Happy Christmas

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#25

With Love And Good Wishes For A Happy Christmas

With Love And Good Wishes For A Happy Christmas

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#26

Wishing You A Merry Christmas

Wishing You A Merry Christmas

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Ava Masumi
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7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This one is actually nice. Just like some of Aesop fables' illustrations.

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#27

The Best Wishes Of The Season To You

The Best Wishes Of The Season To You

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Yvonne Bernal
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7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I thought it was the 6th day of Christmas and the '6 geese a laying' were going to be laying on the dinner table.

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#31

A Jolly Christmas. May Christmas Pass As Merrily With Us As With This Enterprising Little Puss Who Quite Enjoys The Flirting And The Fuss

A Jolly Christmas. May Christmas Pass As Merrily With Us As With This Enterprising Little Puss Who Quite Enjoys The Flirting And The Fuss

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#34

May Xmas Be As Bright As Purest Gold

May Xmas Be As Bright As Purest Gold

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#35

Hurrah! For The Jolly Christmas Tree

Hurrah! For The Jolly Christmas Tree

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#37

The Night Is Dark And My Messenger Moth Has The Weight Of My Love To Bear, To Fly To The Light Of Thy Laughing Eyes, And Lay Down His Burden There. The Sun Shall Arise To Gild The Snow, That Hushes Each Human Tread, My Love Shall Wait Thy Door, Sweetheart, Where My Messenger Moth Lies Dead

The Night Is Dark And My Messenger Moth Has The Weight Of My Love To Bear, To Fly To The Light Of Thy Laughing Eyes, And Lay Down His Burden There. The Sun Shall Arise To Gild The Snow, That Hushes Each Human Tread, My Love Shall Wait Thy Door, Sweetheart, Where My Messenger Moth Lies Dead

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#38

With Many Merry Christmas Greeting

With Many Merry Christmas Greeting

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#39

Before I Go Out Of The Picture Pass... I'd Like You To Meet This Cute Little Lass!

Before I Go Out Of The Picture Pass... I'd Like You To Meet This Cute Little Lass!

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#40

A Merry Christmas To You

A Merry Christmas To You

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Joannakathryn
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7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

All these years....we only left him cookies and milk when what he really wanted was wine.

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#41

Best Wishes For Christmas

Best Wishes For Christmas

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#42

Merry Christmas Day! Happy, Bright And Gay! Fortune Guard You Aye, Like A Brave Dog Tray

Merry Christmas Day! Happy, Bright And Gay! Fortune Guard You Aye, Like A Brave Dog Tray

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#43

Hold To The Light And Then You'll Find The Stocking Filled With Toys Of Every Kind

Hold To The Light And Then You'll Find The Stocking Filled With Toys Of Every Kind

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#44

A Happy Christmas To You

A Happy Christmas To You

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#45

The Merry Dance When Dinner Is Done

The Merry Dance When Dinner Is Done

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#47

I Have Come To Greet You. Inside: Loving Christmas Greetings, May Smiling Faces Ring Around Your Glowing Hearth This Christmas Day, May Fun And Merriment Abound, And All Your World Be Glad And Gay

I Have Come To Greet You. Inside: Loving Christmas Greetings, May Smiling Faces Ring Around Your Glowing Hearth This Christmas Day, May Fun And Merriment Abound, And All Your World Be Glad And Gay

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#50

Good Luck!good Luck! I Say Be Yours This New Year's Day!

Good Luck!good Luck! I Say Be Yours This New Year's Day!

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#52

A Jolly Christmas

A Jolly Christmas

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#53

Bright Be Thy Christmas

Bright Be Thy Christmas

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Teri Stearns
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I didn’t get anything great for Christmas this year. Just some Chinese junk.

#54

May All The Pleasures Of The Season Attend You

May All The Pleasures Of The Season Attend You

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#56

May Every Happiness Be Thine, This Happy Christmas Day

May Every Happiness Be Thine, This Happy Christmas Day

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#57

While Christmas Is Here Be All Of Good Cheer

While Christmas Is Here Be All Of Good Cheer

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