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We know we're only halfway through 2017, but we couldn't wait until the end of the year before we shared these hilarious tweets with you.

Written by women and compiled by Bored Panda, they're sure to give you something to laugh about, regardless of how bad a day you're having. You don't need to be a woman to find them amusing. All you need is a good sense of humor! Which one is the funniest? Let us know in the comments below, and don't forget to vote for your favorite!

#2

Best-woman-tweets-2017

OhNoSheTwitnt Report

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Hans
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Whom did they ask? A representative sample of 15 guys recently convicted for rape?

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#13

Best-woman-tweets-2017

eleanorclrke Report

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Melody Lanzatella
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Brilliantly clever! You have the makings of a possible "Evil" Genius!! LOL!

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#14

Best-woman-tweets-2017

JillFilipovic Report

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Daria B
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And it's interesting how usually the men who complain about women being too emotional for a specific role or task are the one being over-emotional at the very moment of saying so.

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#21

Best-woman-tweets-2017

AbbyHasIssues Report

#25

Best-woman-tweets-2017

DrStaceyPatton Report

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Hans
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is about the right time to have a feeding toddler with you that needs to clean those sticky little hands.

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#27

Best-woman-tweets-2017

annetdonahue Report

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Wanda Queen
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

3) Student who failed presentation because they didn't do the reading, then has wealthy parents call school board to try to get teacher fired.

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#31

Best-woman-tweets-2017

lisaxy424 Report

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Isabel Care
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Had a black jumper with rainbow coloured sparkley threads that shed all over my friends' border collie. He looked stunning.

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#35

Best-woman-tweets-2017

ValeeGrrl Report

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Kori K. Warriner
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Seriously! I once saw an elementary teacher on the show in Atlanta (which isn't expensive) who bought a $400K house. NOT POSSIBLE. Oh, and she didn't have a high budget for renovations, which, of course, brought the value up.

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#37

Best-woman-tweets-2017

annabroges Report

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Wezbie
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I thought they were marshmallows and it made the whole thing even funnier

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#38

Best-woman-tweets-2017

OhNoSheTwitnt Report

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Master Markus
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

HA! Love it. I'm reminded of the George Carlin bit: "If you're pre-born, you're fine; if you're pre-school, you're f****d."

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#43

Best-woman-tweets-2017

GashleyMadison Report

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Wanda Queen
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My biggest fear about getting older is that I'm 99% sure I'm no longer fit enough to survive a zombie apocalypse.

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#44

Best-woman-tweets-2017

Samijeaan Report

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#53

Best-woman-tweets-2017

danicarrington Report

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Captain Planet
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think this is discriminating for women who don't wear dresses. As if all women wear dresses! omg this is 2017! So sexist!

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#54

Best-woman-tweets-2017

gabidunn99 Report

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Zenozenobee
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well, when you decide to remove an ex from photos, Ryan Reynolds is the minimum you can choose in replacement, I guess.

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#56

Best-woman-tweets-2017

LizHackett Report

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Thomas Kolev
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Don't forget the small smoothed pebbles that used to be tissues and now fossilized.

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#57

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ValeeGrrl Report

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#66

Best-woman-tweets-2017

TheRealDratch Report

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Daria B
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Even so, what's a child doing in that presidential position? I thought you needed to be mature and wise to lead a country...

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#68

Best-woman-tweets-2017

AllisonRaskin Report

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Kassandra Skresvig
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

if my mom ever says texts that, she always follows up with "not a bad thing" to try and save me the panic

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#71

Best-woman-tweets-2017

meganamram Report

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Kori K. Warriner
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Amen, sista! And what about all those men-only clubs that still exist! Boo-hoo-hoo! Just because you can't be the first to enjoy WW's boobs, doesn't mean it is the end of the world!

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#72

Best-woman-tweets-2017

aparnapkin Report

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Markus McCloud
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Actually, the bottom part should say: "Worst part of internet: ...Including the idiots"

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#76

Best-woman-tweets-2017

Angibangie Report

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Aidan Edwards
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not ironic, a message, they don't want more enemies to deal with

#78

Best-woman-tweets-2017

MamaFizzles Report

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Kassandra Skresvig
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

lol, I wasn't allowed to do that when I was a kid XD on the plus side I learned to cook for myself at a young age.

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#80

Best-woman-tweets-2017

KimmyMonte Report

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Hans
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ocean: "Just step closer. A little bit...(*sends an immense wave*)"

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#81

Best-woman-tweets-2017

michelleisawolf Report

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Zenozenobee
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I do have kids, and I love them beyond I thought it was possible, yet, I really have no idea why you MUST have kids when you're a woman, and you MUST want to have babies... Plus, i have a friend running 35 that cannot have kids and it's painful for her, because it's definitly not her choice and everyone feel free to point her out that she doesn't have kids. When she tries to avoid discussion people insist "you'll change your mind"... Why the hell poeple think it's O.K. to try to influence someone else motherwood/non-motherwood/wannabe motherwood

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#83

Woman Tweets Of 2017

Elizasoul80 Report

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Wanda Queen
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Right? I love it when people say "I hate to be honest...". Dude. No you don't. It's the internet.....you can just keep scrolling. We'll all survive.

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#84

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sixfootcandy Report

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Kim Lawson
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Whenever my fax machine rings at work people ask me what it is and I like to say the past is calling.

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#85

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taylortrudon Report

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Marzo Florida
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you mean 'over work out' by eating, sleeping, or over contemplating life, then this is my life story :)

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#86

Best-woman-tweets-2017

lSABABE Report

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Manuela Simon
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yesterday someone called me "pretty" :-). Well, the whole sentence was "you are pretty annoying", but I concentrate on the positive part...

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#87

Best-woman-tweets-2017

AbbyHasIssues Report

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Crystal Pruitt
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I tried one. All I did was get pissed off that I was coloring outside the lines and that I didn't like some of my color choices!

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#96

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Pandamoanimum Report

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CultOfBambi
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

More like "David f*****g Cameron got us into this mess - and I'm going to make it worse!", says Theresa May.

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#97

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IjeomaOluo Report

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Lisa-Marie Dhondt
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh I dunno... someone released a book of their selfies...that's pretty darn vain...

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#100

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SarahFoxes Report

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#101

Best-woman-tweets-2017

AbbyHasIssues Report

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Marzo Florida
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If I ever get arrested, it would probably be for kicking one of those xp

#102

Best-woman-tweets-2017

MsFoxIfUrNasty Report

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#103

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queenkimbaby Report

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Leni
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've done this, but not just with guys, also certain groups of girls.

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#105

Best-woman-tweets-2017

bblackgoldd Report

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Kiki L.
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Brad Trapp's comment is stealth performance art or satire?

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#106

Best-woman-tweets-2017

witch_mama_ Report

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Master Markus
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They're selling an uneven number of bowls with one of them having an obligatory "only this food" label? The comment legitimately made me laugh out loud though.

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#107

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kyry5 Report

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#109

Best-woman-tweets-2017

cakefacedcutie Report

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Leni
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mine brings me back oversized hoodies when he's away for work so I'll stop wearing his... I'm not sure he got the concept of me wearing them because he wears them and then it smells like him

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#110

Best-woman-tweets-2017

carinahsieh Report

#112

Best-woman-tweets-2017

heymichellelee Report

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Blue Cicada
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Starbucks, N American coffee chain, had God awful pastel, sparkly, sickly-sweet drink called Unicorn. This ice cream is mocking that. Nicely

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#113

Best-woman-tweets-2017

aimmiat Report

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Laura Dixon
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Chuck is gorgeous but shame about the prong collar. There are other methods of maintaining control of your dog without using this outdated tool (and far less cruel methods)...

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#115

Best-woman-tweets-2017

ValeeGrrl Report

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#118

Best-woman-tweets-2017

bourgeoisalien Report

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Sardonic Scribe
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Clearly you have no idea the s**t he's doing to Canada. He's all razzle dazzle. Zero substance.

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#119

Woman Tweets Of 2017

brokeangeI Report

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Blue Cicada
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hear a tour guide shouting, "Hey, lady! Get out of the reflection pool!"

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#122

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BetteMidler Report

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#123

Best-woman-tweets-2017

heavenrants Report

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#124

Best-woman-tweets-2017

araslanian_ Report

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Misty Cat
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Covering up a comment, keep scrolling. Ya can't keep up with the Kardashians!

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#126

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MaryNumair Report

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RaroaRaroa
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

But then I'd just be sad for the other dogs watching on and wondering why that dog is so popular. One of you just take one of the others! :-)

#127

Best-woman-tweets-2017

kashanacauley Report

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#128

Best-woman-tweets-2017

ejdickson Report

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#130

Best-woman-tweets-2017

ziwe Report

#131

Best-woman-tweets-2017

AbbyHasIssues Report

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#132

Best-woman-tweets-2017

nsilverberg Report

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Saima Nisbet
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have friends of both sex, I have not fancied any of my male friends and I don't think they fancied me either. It's possible to not think about sex even though we are programmed to want to procreate and thus want sex (even for pleasure).

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#137

Best-woman-tweets-2017

AllisonRaskin Report

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Pamela Law
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Those names....I wanna put a Match to Tinder and burn the house down...

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#139

Best-woman-tweets-2017

jsam1126 Report

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Cherie
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Note to self: Ivanka Trump's lobes will soon need reduction surgery if she keeps wearing heavy jewelry in them.

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#140

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eveewing Report

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Cherie
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's almost as annoying as having someone question the veracity of the statement you made after googling it.

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#143

Best-woman-tweets-2017

AbbyHasIssues Report

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#144

Best-woman-tweets-2017

xoxoxMinnie Report

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Vesna Brnić
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

God, I saw this one yesterday in right position with different caption. This is so hillarious.

#145

Best-woman-tweets-2017

_raincl0ud Report

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Johnny Slapstick
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You know where there's a lack of diversity... Asian restaurants. Every Chinese, Thai and Korean restaurant I go in does not have a single white, black, hispanic or indian person working in them. They are all Asian. Come on. Other people would love to work at your restaurant.

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#146

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elenaq32 Report

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Master Markus
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The last ash Wednesday I was SO tempted to go up to every Catholic I saw and say "You've got a little something on your face there..."

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#147

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chooses Report

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#151

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daphnebee Report

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Pamela Law
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The B-Hive is not understanding of your sexcapades. She will be avenged.

#154

Best-woman-tweets-2017

aparnapkin Report

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rakuninaru
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

exactly!! There are a lot of things I cannot express with words... only emojis

#156

Best-woman-tweets-2017

aparnapkin Report

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Master Markus
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People who say that are usually going into something with their biases, or they're disregarding that there are more well-known men in comedy than women (though that is changing). When I really looked at it, I noticed that there are some female comedians whom I HATE, but there are also male comedians whom I dislike the same amount, if not more.

#157

Best-woman-tweets-2017

LisLeary Report

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Leni
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The ones on the left look pretty gross to me tbh. What's wrong with neatly kept natural nails that don't look like you might stab someone to death?

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#158

Best-woman-tweets-2017

kpfeffss Report

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Danny Jimenez
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Same happened at a Las Vegas Walmart... Then a mass murder happened...

#159

Best-woman-tweets-2017

AllisonRaskin Report

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Lisa Shaw
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I once ran into a friend at the mall that I hadn't seen in a couple years. We chatted for a couple minutes she said she'll call me next week-3 years later she called and said" did you forget that when I ran into you at the mall I said I'd call you?" don't want to speak ill of the dead now or anything, but I told this story at her memorial everyone in the place knew exactly what I was talking about!

#160

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aparnapkin Report

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#161

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MartaEffing Report

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#162

Best-woman-tweets-2017

tatiaragirl Report

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Dana Hill
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

talking or lying? For some guys there's no OR, both same thing.

#163

Best-woman-tweets-2017

goldengateblond Report

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#164

Best-woman-tweets-2017

DevoDupuy Report

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OdangaUsagi
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Although crows are opportunistic eaters, I think you mean vultures.

#166

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georgiajacks0n Report

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#168

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beckyalbertalli Report

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#169

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chrissyteigen Report

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Master Markus
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hate when that happens. I've also had dreams early in the morning where I was getting ready for school / work, and then I wake up late.

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#171

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meganamram Report

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Skylar
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What is all this about there being no bees left? I'm confused. And before anyone says anything about 'oh, its a female thing', I'm a female.

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#174

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jsam1126 Report

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RaroaRaroa
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Remember how 2016 was all about how many celebs died? Maybe they knew what was coming. ;-)

#176

Best-woman-tweets-2017

DailyVelli Report

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Intensive Panda
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

if you don't know about the relationships of your friends, then they are not your friends?

#177

Best-woman-tweets-2017

Book_Krazy Report

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Manuela Simon
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Better go to the couple, hit the man in the face and say something like "And you said you will love me forever!" - will bring this couple soon into the messy condition

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#179

Best-woman-tweets-2017

jillboard Report

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#181

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LizHackett Report

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Blue Cicada
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Know a shift leader, rudely "teases" her coworkers so much, they won't make purchases at their own store if she's around.

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#183

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yenniwhite Report

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#184

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Alyssa_Milano Report

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#185

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msdanifernandez Report

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#186

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aparnapkin Report

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#188

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morninggloria Report

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#189

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LaurenSivan Report

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Misty Cat
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

jUST oNe mOrE tHIng, they say......it's not, get outta there.

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#190

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BeeBabs Report

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#191

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HatfieldAnne Report

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Daria B
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So THIS is why Joey from Dawson's Creek used to make those faces.....

#193

Best-woman-tweets-2017

charstarlene Report

#196

Best-woman-tweets-2017

leighlahav Report

#197

Best-woman-tweets-2017

AbbyHasIssues Report

#198

Best-woman-tweets-2017

BrandyLJensen Report

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Master Markus
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That just makes me think of John Oliver's Dog Supreme Court. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fJ9prhPV2PI)

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#199

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gabydunn Report

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Master Markus
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6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Capitalism does not equal "wanting to buy stuff". You can still have frivolities in a non-capitalist system as long as it's not like... a pure communist dictatorship.

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#200

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odetotrees Report

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Dana Hill
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6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I tell my high school students "saying it was just a joke does not make your comment any less mean or hurtful." I get to say this at least once a day. It's sad really.

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#202

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COCONUTOILBAE Report

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Master Markus
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6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Me when I accidentally talk about dank maymays and forget that I'm not on the internet.

#203

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charstarlene Report

#204

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behindyourback Report

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Jdxthompson Report

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idasiasoco Report

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phantom buni
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I mean okay. No haha or lol? Just sunshine and lollipops and THEY DON’T EXIST.

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#207

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AkilahObviously Report

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Naima Ivansdóttir
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6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

my boyfriend: "so this room is vacant eh? you should turn it into a hobby room!" me: "well it is. it's a vacant room"

#210

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Book_Krazy Report

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ladywithflaws Report

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annfriedman Report

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alanalevinson Report

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#223

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Manda_like_wine Report

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TheDweck Report

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AtticusFinch79 Report

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Trisha Dragon
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6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The egg, laid by a creature that wasn't a chicken who got laid by a creature who also was not a chicken.

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#229

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adult_mom Report

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