Evolution has produced an incredible diversity of life on Earth. Some of its results are astonishing. Some are adorable. And some might make you think: “Seriously, evolution, what the hell?”
I’ve always liked weird and creepy creatures more than the traditionally cute ones. On my blog, WTF, Evolution?, and now in a book of the same name, I collect these evolutionary oddities and try to imagine what evolution would have been thinking when it made them – if it had been thinking at all. Clearly, it wasn’t.
Even though I poke fun, I love all these strange creatures. Writing about them has helped me appreciate just how complex life on our planet is – and how ridiculously bizarre it can be. Go home, Evolution, you’re drunk.
Hey, Evolution, do you think maybe you forgot something here? Like, I don’t know, the entire back half of the fish?
Photo courtesy to Johner Images/Getty Images
Giant Three-Horned Chameleon
Sure, Evolution, being able to see in two different directions at one is kind of nice – as long as one of those directions isn’t into a mirror.
Photo courtesy to Jack Milchanowski/Getty Images
Striped Leaf-Nosed Bat
Evolution accidentally dropped this bat on the floor but was too embarrassed to say anything so just pretended it was actually supposed to look like that.
Photo courtesy to Ivan Kuzmin/age fotostock
Evolution produced the goosefish on very little sleep. Look, evolution, just go home and get some rest, okay? This isn’t helping anyone.
Photo courtesy to NOAA Okeanos Explorer Program
Why so gloomy, babirusa? Is it because Evolution gave you some weird extra tusks that are ugly, useless, too brittle to fight with, and may eventually grow so long that they curve around and fatally puncture your skull? Could that be it?
Photo courtesy to Danita Delimont/Alamy
Really, Evolution? You had 130 million years to work on the pignose frog, and this is the best you could do? Did you maybe boil it too long?
Photo courtesy to K. Jayaram/Science Source
Photo courtesy to Wikimedia Commons / H. Zell
Hey, Evolution, I know that beards are in and all, but I think you may have put this pig’s on backward. Or upside down. Or inside out? Possibly all three.
Photo courtesy to Juniors Bildarchiv/age fotostock
Photo courtesy to Arno Meintjes
Come on, Evolution, you cannot be serious with this sh… Oh, wait. OH. Ha! I get it. Clearly, the red-lipped batfish is a work of satire, not meant to be taken as a literal “animal,” which would of course be ridiculous. Sorry, I can be a bit slow sometimes. Nice one.
Photo courtesy to Mark Conlin/Getty Images
WTF, Evolution? is now also available as a book
A sneak-peek inside:
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