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As kids, we see our parents as all-knowing people. However, as the years pass, we realize that our moms and dads are just regular humans after all, and that they too don't have all the answers. So we start looking elsewhere.

There's an interesting study published in the British Journal of Political Science, based on data from the U.S. and U.K., which found that parents who are insistent that their children adopt their political views inadvertently influence their children to abandon the belief once they become adults.

This can be explained by the fact that children who come from homes where politics is a frequent topic of discussion are more likely to talk about politics once they leave home, exposing them to new viewpoints—which they then adopt with surprising frequency.

Similar transformations happen in other areas as well. To get a better understanding of them, Reddit users u/nousername1982 and u/ZestyClose_Ad4682 recently started threads asking people to share the things their parents taught them that turned out to be totally wrong. Here are some of the responses, ranging from romantic relationships to personal finance, that we thought might be interesting and worthy of your time.

#1

30 People Share The Dead Wrong Things Their Parents Taught Them, And There Is Actual Wisdom In Their Realizations "If a boy acts like a jerk, it means he likes you!"

No...just no...

First of all, he shouldn't be let off the hook for acting like a jerk. (Whether he's 5 or 105.) Secondly, it teaches girls that abuse is okay, or that they should expect to be treated like crap (and that it's okay for them to be treated like crap.)

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StarmanWaitingInTheSky
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I swear this was initially an embarrassment tactic for the boys to stop pestering girls and it originally stopped being said to the boys at "courting" age. (I put quotes because it's so cheesy and old-fashioned to say "courting", and not something I say normally.)

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#2

30 People Share The Dead Wrong Things Their Parents Taught Them, And There Is Actual Wisdom In Their Realizations That sex, sexuality, drinking/drugs/partying, politics, money, spirituality are awkward things to discuss. I want my future kids to know facts and that if they are ever in trouble, I am a safe place for them. We don't have to talk about it if they don't want to, they'll be taught how to be safe, but they should also know that these subjects are a part of life and should not cause shame.

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StarmanWaitingInTheSky
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I didn't have a safe place to talk about anything, so I made sure I am the safe place for my kid, too. Nothing will shock me. I will not judge, just listen. However, some things do need to be talked about no matter if anyone wants to hear it or not.

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We managed to get in touch with one of the Redditors that sparked this discussion, u/nousername1982  and they agreed to have a talk about their post and parenting in general.

"I don't really [remember] what I was doing exactly [when I came up with the idea to ask the internet this question]," they told Bored Panda.

"But, I have kids myself who are very curious and ask questions all the time. I made a promise to myself to be as honest with them as possible (without spoiling Christmas). But sometimes it is difficult to give a genuine answer because the truth would make something more difficult to accept. I've seen many Redditors posting about parents telling them they 'can do anything.' I believe those motivational speeches are essential for a child. Probably most of the stories were a variation of that."

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#3

30 People Share The Dead Wrong Things Their Parents Taught Them, And There Is Actual Wisdom In Their Realizations If you stop reacting, they'll stop bullying you.

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StarmanWaitingInTheSky
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This hits hard. It was the teachers and daycare staff that were saying this trash to me, though. My mom sorta ignored it and thought I was doing something to cause other kids to bully me. No support. Nothing. This carries into adulthood. Eventually you stop caring what other people think but there is a stronger need to be heard the loudest, so you end up repeating the injustices you experience in life to friends and family until they acknowledge your plight, which never happens because you're being a downer, an attention-seeker, and a boring repeater. But you're not really trying to be any of that. You just want to understand why people are shitty towards you of all people.

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#4

30 People Share The Dead Wrong Things Their Parents Taught Them, And There Is Actual Wisdom In Their Realizations Lack of empathy. My parents grew up in a really really horrible situation and they made it out and did well for themselves. So now anytime anyone struggles they refuse to feel bad for them because they have gone through worse and did fine. I think people deserve empathy regardless.

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StarmanWaitingInTheSky
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't know this guy's story or where he comes from, if he's homeless or has a home and struggling with something. I was at Subway and saw him chatting with the staff. He left with nothing. As soon as I started asking what he wanted they said he wanted food, and that he comes in frequently and they used to give him free food but can't continue doing that. I was going to buy him something if that was the case. I was a bit hesitant hearing that it's been a regular occurrence but then I thought I've been homeless and hungry before. Why the hell not. I bought a $10 gift card for them to use it towards him the next time he shows up. If he doesn't show up, someone's got a free gift card regardless and that is just fine.

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u/nousername1982 thinks that parents and their kids every now and then simply end up on different terms. "Sometimes parents have priorities that kids don't understand, like 'Why are they always having to work that much?' Truth is, at least in my case, I don't have to work that hard, but I'm motivated to advance my career. I'm not working to pay for the food, house, or toys. I'm working for the extras."

"Also, most parents strive to have an easy life, which is sometimes difficult to combine with kids. You don't want to tell your kids they can't have something because mom or dad doesn't want to make the effort," the Redditor continued. "My parents told me I had to quit my favorite sport because of a kid that was dealing drugs in the club. Later, I realized it was because the drive was too much of a hassle. The drug dealer had little to do in the decision."

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#5

30 People Share The Dead Wrong Things Their Parents Taught Them, And There Is Actual Wisdom In Their Realizations That parents never have to apologize to their kids.

I love my dad. He is a great dad and I know he loves me so much, but he has it in his head that even now, even when his youngest (me) is an adult, that he doesn't need to apologize if he does something wrong. It's baffling.

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StarmanWaitingInTheSky
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Same here. Mine barely uses basic manners with me. She does with everyone else. Just not me.

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BakedKahuna
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's what happened to me yesterday. Again. Met my mother for the first time in weeks. Her first comment was how swollen my face looked and it's ugly. Told her that I was accompanied by mosquitoes the last night's. She told me to not do it and it's not doing me a favor being fat AND have that swollen face. I said that if she has got nothing nice to say to keep her mouth shut. During the evening she complimented several people. I asked her why she has so many nice things to say about strangers but never behave decent towards me. Her answer was, she wanted to, but she was afraid that I would get angry again like when she told me my face looked ugly...

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Alexia
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's a sad one. My verbally, emotionally and - in early childhood - physically abusive parents would never admit they made any mistake with me. Not even when it's obvious, not even when other people point it out to them. However - years after I moved away - they do wonder why I refuse to visit them.

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Nadine Bamberger
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's always "I'm sorry BUT" followed by I something I must have done to make them wrong.

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Foxxy (The Original)
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't understand this. Being a parent doesn't mean you are immune to making mistakes and owning up to them. Our kids are human beings and deserve to be treated as such.

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IzzieM
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My dad is big on apologizing, but only if you mean it. Don't apologize if you're not sorry, because it's an empty gesture. I try to live by this example.

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Jp@nda
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sorry means doing your absolute best to make sure that it never happens again. It might, but being genuinely sorry means that you've tried and that it is not just an empty word

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Beth S
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I eff up, which I do from time to time since I am human - I do apologize to my son. It is important for him to have his thoughts/feelings validated and also important for him to learn to apologize when he's wrong.

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Jamie Pesek
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I knew when I was wrong and always apologized to my kids for either losing my temper when I should have been listening or just not listening altogether and still losing my cool. I allowed my children their voices while I kept my mouth shut so I could understand where they were coming from so I could get the full perspective of points of view on certain issues and topics. My oldest just sent to me yesterday a beautiful clip of a song called dear mom by Dax..that brought me to tears because I never knew that's how he felt about us or that he saw me like that. I sat in my car.unable to drive home..because I found out just how much my son loves me and knows the sacrifices I made for him and his siblings. It has been my honor to love these 3 amazing young lives and relish in the fact that each of them is so unique in their own outlooks on life and that no matter our own differences we can still come to a table and eat together and love and trust, knowing our differences are met with open ar

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Huddo's sister
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My grandad taught me a big lesson (though I sort of knew it anyway) based on something that happened to him as a teacher. He had a child who had done something wrong (I can't remember what) and so he kept them in after school. The next day, after learning some new facts and a sleepless night, he found he was wrong and that child didn't do it. He stood in front of the class and apolgised to the class, and child who he'd wronged. He said, even adults get thing wrong and they should be held accountable and he wanted children to feel like they could come to him with problems and he would try to listen and learn from his mistakes. All people should do this.

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Nothing Fancy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's some major bull. I want my kids to know that anyone of any age should apologize if they're wrong.

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Linda Bianco
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You may not think that you did anything wrong but if the other person perceived it that way then apologize. No cost, all benefit. Especially with people you love, including your children.

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Steve
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My stepdad never apologized to me for stuff he accused me of and was wrong about.

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ᴠᴀ̈ɪɴᴏ🇺🇦
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh really? Who taught your parents that? All humans should apologise for a mistake I mean its just natural innit?

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Anita Long
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My dad never actually said "I'm sorry.". What he would do instead was, call whichever one of us deserved the apology & say "Ok, now give me 2 kiss & tell me you're sorry.". Which we did, usually laughing. Then he'd hug them & give them 2 kisses. One kiss was never good enough for my dad.

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Super P
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have 2 girls in their 20s. Dad gets checked. If I'm wrong I always apologize.

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Keri Mascagni
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I apologize to my (14F) kid whenever I'm wrong or when I say something I shouldn't. It teaches respect. Parents can be wrong about alot of things.

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Liese Aerbeydt
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My dad has the tendency to treat me like an idiot and a child, and when I tell about something, like maybe something I learned in school that day, he will do anything he can to prove me wrong. Then he is surprised suddenly I'm done and I get really angry and yell at him. I usually spit out something vile about my mom too, for just letting him do what he does, but afterwards my mom and I apologise to each other, I for yelling at her while she can't do much about it, and she for making me feel undervalued and not at least trying to do something about it. My dad NEVER apologises, not to me and not to my mom, though he knows how to because he has apologised to my brother on several occasions. I don't know why he feels like I don't deserve an apology and my brother does, but I make a point of it to apologise to my younger cousins when I do something that hurts them because I never want any of them to feel like I do all the time...

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Liese Aerbeydt
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1 year ago

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Malou Hedlund
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How can you teach someone to say Im sorry if you never learn to say it yourself.

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MJ
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My parents have both done some pretty terrible things to me in my youth and teenage years. Things have changed drastically for the better and we have a healthier relationship, but - even though it probably shouldnt - it still bothers me a bit that neither one of them has ever said they’re sorry for what they put me and my sibs through.

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Jeffrey Soper
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’m 59 and my dad just turned 84. He’s never apologized for anything and probably never will. Sad for him.

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Karen Lyon
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My late Dad, who was 5'7", liked to make this semi-ironic statement: "It takes a big man to admit when he's wrong." About a year before he passed away, he and I had a huge clash. He was just being a rude inconsiderate schmuck to another family member while I was in the room. I really let him have it. He tried to do the "This isn't about you" thing, which made me angrier. I just kept pushing back. He was pissed too, but I do believe that he could see how furious I was, that it could get ugly. He slammed out of the room, but he did come to his senses, pretty quickly. It was clear he was ashamed of himself, and made sure the others knew that. He told me that he was sorry he had acted like an a*****e (his words.) I've come to realize that for that moment, he was channeling his own father, who was a real SOB, by all accounts. It make me so sad that he had to grow up with that. But I am also blessed that he really was a great Dad, who meant what he said.

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Mouse Man
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When me and my dad got into it, we'd go our own way afterwards. Then, cool off. A bit later, one of us would come check on the other and apologize. We had to get our crap out of the way, but we ALWAYS came back together. We apologized to each other so many times. And it was heartfelt.

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Samantha Bennison
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm 32 and my dad is still this way. He has never once apologized for his shitty behaviour or abuse or anything

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Brian Willess
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not only do I try to apologize. I encourage my kids to confront and expose me.

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Brian Willess
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I first confronted my dad he was like "I am your father" and I be like "then act like it!!!" It was hard to break the cycle/culture.

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Amanda Reicha
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm the oldest of 2 and my mom never apologized to me for anything. She would actually make me apologize repeatedly until she felt it was enough, even when she was wrong. Her belief is that she is never wrong, so as a child the words "I'm sorry" were ingrained into my head as an auto response to everyone for any reason, no matter who was at fault. My husband is always telling me to stop apologizing.

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Brenda
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My mom did and so did I. We're parents, we're not perfect

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Karen Lawton
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My parents never apologized to us. I have always apologized to my kids

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Tanya Wolf
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nope when you are wrong say you're sorry. How are kids supposed to learn genuine sincere actions if you don't show them.

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Terry Nahuina
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Am a substititute. Teacher. When I walk into a class I immediately see the class whipping boiy..his chair is pulled nearest the teachers desk and way from others. Kids tell me how horriblenhe is. Shameful! I seat him elsewhere and tell kids I go by behaviour. If they listen , I'll reward them. They are all equals and w I'll 've treated as such. I haven't once had a child who didn't bloom!

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Ashley blackburn
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm 31 and I'm SO glad I don't think this way. I mean my oldest is only 5 but I'm not "afraid" to admit I was wrong and openly and genuinely apologize to him

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Portia
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have apologized every time I have wronged my daughters

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Jo Frey
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am ALWAYS apologizing to my kids! I own up to my mistakes, and though it might take time to do that, I want them to know that EVERYONE makes mistakes, and that it's okay to make mistakes, but that it is NOT okay to be cruel to others just because I'm upset!

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Purple Rose24
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Heh I guess I felt this one because when i raised my son i made sure to apologize to him if I was wrong. Even from his youngest ages. Must have helped as we are still close and he is now an adult!

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Rose Reign
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I'm wrong i apologize even if it's something small. It's not hard. Daddy would and mama too but it was normally after we'd gotten into a fuss about something. Still they made the effort

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Leah Norris
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I apologize to my kids on a regular basis. I wish I could be the perfect mom for them, but I am just a regular flawed human. What I can teach them is the how to react when they've made a mistake.

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Celestie Gladys
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think actions speak louder than words, if patents are sorry they will not necessarily say it but they will make sure like 100% that they will not repeat the thing that hurts you .. if they see you are really hurt .

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SelkieBlackfysh
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah I realized I was treated more as property by my parents than an actual individual person. Even as an adult they felt they had the right to dictate my life to me.

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Koni Royval
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NEVER,ever heard that lie. I always made sure to say I was sorry when I hurt or wronged anyone. It is not possible to be right all the time.

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Melinda De La Rosa
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes, my father was the same way. I didn't need him to apologize as I had forgiven him, but my younger brother did. My dad wasn't the nicest man at times, and my brother held in a lot of hard feelings towards our dad, those feelings ate away at him. Our farther recently passed away without giving my brother an apology, something my brother needed so he could let go and have peace.

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Christina Hill
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Also don't apologize if you're going to "justify it " by putting the blame on your kids or someone else!

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Brian Bennett
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Could it be transference on my part or stupidity, My parents were like this and I married a guy who is never wrong so he does not have to apologize for anything ever! I will accept the stupidity diagnosis!

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Amy Stone-Chandler
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I apologize to my kids and they also apologize to me. It's part of having MANNERS

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D'Jango Rey
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's about teaching and modeling RESPECT too! Nice work teaching some manners!

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Carol Creger
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Parents do have to apologize to their kids if they were telling their children something that was wrong or a lie.

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Shreeky
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My dad is 81 and he's the same way. He will nvr admit that he was wrong or sorry. He's worse now cause of his dementia.

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Allan Felipe
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My father once told me that he never says "sorry" because he knows he will make the same mistake again, and then the apology would have been insincere. I never understood how he came to that conclusion. First, you should try not to repeat your mistakes, but it will eventually happen. And if it happens, it doesn't mean your apology was false. It just means you will have to apologize again.

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Samantha Will
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am a Nanny to older kids and I make sure to apologize when I am cranky or mess up because I want to model adults admitting they were wrong. There is no way to be perfect when taking care of children but you can try to model the behaviors you really want them to pick up.

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Butters Scotch
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"it would make undermine our authority!" No, it would humanize you. Wonder why we don't talk?

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Kymberli Benton
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I watched my dad for years tell my stepmom she was fat and worthless Funny I never thought she was now she's completely obese close to 500lbs and it makes me sad that he was so cruel I was 100% daddies girl I didn't see any flaws in him until past 3 years it's like my blinders came off and it's so hard for me to feel the love I once did for him Now I think back on all he said and done and I think how could I have been so blind he was and is just mean

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Amanda Lawrence
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My mom still does this. Its always either that I brought it on myself or that she doesnt even remember it

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Don Flynn
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Being able to admit a wrong, or messing something up, is such a rare quality. A person who will not admit screwing up, or own their actions is someone you cannot trust.

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Tyson James
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I mean.... It's not really that baffling. He doesn't see you as an equal, therefore, he doesn't respect you. Not that baffling.

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Kate Jones
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The one time my father apologized to me I still remember because it was so rare that it really stayed with me.

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jenzhere99
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My mother has done and said many harmful things to me mentally over the years and has NEVER apologized and probably never will

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Kelly Taylor
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I teach my kid, who is now four chronologically but five or six mentally, that apologies are necessary. More importantly I tell him that it is better to act like you're sorry then say it. You can't just apologize and then do the same thing again and expect just apologize again.

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lweneous maxey
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe he is a narcissist, if so it is a mental health issue and he can not help it. It is frustrating for you. Just accept he may have a problem and love him! You only have one Father!

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Chris Motard
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Kids are under the impression that parents are supposed to be nice.. nope.. our job is to prepare you for the world. The world isn't nice & most people, even those you know & care about will lie to you, cheat on you & be a complete a*****e at times. Parenting is no different. Sometimes I'm an a*****e, it's your job as a child to learn how to deal with assholes. For 2 generations people have been coddled and babied at home with "safe spaces" and "participation trophies" instead of teaching children that life is full of winners and loses and if you don't want to lose, you need to work hard. And that's still no guarantee.

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Angelar
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just out of interest... " it's your job as a child to learn how to deal with assholes" ...How exactly is your child supposed to deal with the fact that you are an a*****e, when you are an a*****e? Give an example of a situation - because right now I see only a scenario in which they will lose all their trust and respect for you.

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#6

30 People Share The Dead Wrong Things Their Parents Taught Them, And There Is Actual Wisdom In Their Realizations Math and science aren’t gonna serve a girl well.

I would had killed to have someone reared me into STEM when I was younger.

emotionallybougie , pexels Report

Even though the idea of lying to your kids sounds harsh at first, a study published in the International Journal of Psychology found that 84 percent of the American parents surveyed do it to get them to behave. This is also known as 'instrumental lying.'

While the decision when to use it is ultimately up to the parents, there are certain situations where it's considered more acceptable. For instance, the fictional story of Santa Claus is universally known, and many young children learn it from their moms and dads. So long as they're not using Santa to threaten the little ones into behaving, it's perfectly fine. Interestingly, one study, published in Child Psychiatry and Human Development, discovered that children who eventually found out the truth about Santa Claus reacted positively to the news.

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#7

30 People Share The Dead Wrong Things Their Parents Taught Them, And There Is Actual Wisdom In Their Realizations "Respect your elders" but in the sense that you should just keep quiet when you disagree with somebody older than you - turns out many people are awful regardless of their age. Don't get me wrong, my default is to respect any new person I meet, but when a person has repeatedly shown me that they don't are about my feelings or even basic logic, I won't hold back from speaking my mind calmly, even if they see this as disrespectful.

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John Smith
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My grandad taught me that respect is earned, there is no situation where respect is to be given just because. You don't just get respect from being old. He was a man I respected, and he earned it multiple times over.

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#8

30 People Share The Dead Wrong Things Their Parents Taught Them, And There Is Actual Wisdom In Their Realizations Finish your plate. B*tch that is what all that Tupperware is for.

NotBearhound , unsplash Report

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However, it's important to remember that there are other ways to go about it. Although parental lying is common, too much of it may lead to negative long-term effects. In a study where the researchers surveyed 379 young Singaporean adults who reported their parents lying during their childhood, they discovered that the participants who were lied to as children were more likely to lie to their parents as adults.

The study also suggested that parental dishonesty can create trust issues and problems externalizing certain emotions, like aggression.

#9

30 People Share The Dead Wrong Things Their Parents Taught Them, And There Is Actual Wisdom In Their Realizations That crying is shameful.

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Chinmayee Kalghatgi
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had a tendency of crying to easily when i was younger so now nobody takes me seriously when i am in visible distress

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#10

30 People Share The Dead Wrong Things Their Parents Taught Them, And There Is Actual Wisdom In Their Realizations That you need to hustle 100% of the time and be constantly busy with school/work, extra activities, side projects, cleaning etc. Spending time unwinding is a sign of laziness and boredeom and intelligent people are never bored. This really messed me up and I'm still learning the art of wasting time.

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Draaideur
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm quite skilful when it comes to wasting time ... continues opening a few more boredpanda articles

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"I read some stories about pets that 'ran away,'" u/nousername1982 said. "I too discovered 20 years after the 'dog ran away' that he was euthanized. I can imagine the truth is difficult to share with kids."

"Other lies are just lame, with no excuse. I shared the story that my father told me he had to get A's every day at work. Of course, that is not true, and it didn't help me to get motivated. A friend of mine tells his kids about a 'dangerous man' coming at night if the kids are not good. This is just bad parenting."

Even though the Redditor believes it's impossible to raise a kid without lies, they nonetheless think that parents should strive to be honest.

#11

30 People Share The Dead Wrong Things Their Parents Taught Them, And There Is Actual Wisdom In Their Realizations My mum made me believe that privacy was a privilege. Wasn't until I started studying childcare and learning in depth about the rights of the child that I learned it is a right and that my mum is full of bullsh*t

[deleted] , pexels Report

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#12

“Bullies are cowards.”

No they aren’t. They’re evil scum who are naively capable of ruining your life for decades after. And they’re not afraid to do so.

sicknessandpurgatory Report

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Panda en Pyjama
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Cowards? They are anything but cowards, they feel all powerful because they literally massacre children who have done nothing to them, well hidden behind the school garbage cans. And if by some miracle this child manages to talk about it, to a teacher or a supervisor, these assholes are smart enough to make everyone believe that it was you who started it and WORST that you deserved it. A "big" (12) girl from daycare (I was 6/7 years old) spent three years telling me every night "your mother is dead, she won't come to get you, she will never come back". It created anxieties in me that I still feel today... But Go die Sarah!!!!

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If you're contemplating whether or not to bend the truth, experts advise to ask yourself a few questions first:

  • Are you only helping them in the short term, which might affect things in the future?
  • Will your lie confuse them or give them unrealistic expectations of people?
  • Is the lie for you or them?
  • Are they able to understand the truth?

Often, a child's age and maturity determine whether or not a lie is the way to go!

#13

30 People Share The Dead Wrong Things Their Parents Taught Them, And There Is Actual Wisdom In Their Realizations That it’s rude to express any negative emotions.

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#14

30 People Share The Dead Wrong Things Their Parents Taught Them, And There Is Actual Wisdom In Their Realizations Tell me the truth I won't be mad.

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Panda en Pyjama
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Aaaaaaaaand that's how you get to be punished (in the best case) for something as trivial as having forgotten to start the washing machine for the mother-in-law...

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#15

30 People Share The Dead Wrong Things Their Parents Taught Them, And There Is Actual Wisdom In Their Realizations That you have to “suffer for love” (I’m a chick). Thanks mom, you set me up for a lifetime of trying to change narcissistic losers.

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Panda en Pyjama
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My "best friend" when I was a teenager (15), told me that in love or in friendship, if we didn't suffer, it wasn't real... Yeah, of course...

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#16

30 People Share The Dead Wrong Things Their Parents Taught Them, And There Is Actual Wisdom In Their Realizations My dad always said. "Children should be seen and not heard." I'm not a big fan of that one

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Marianne
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This basically tells children that their opinions, experiences and feelings are invalid and their parents don't care about them. Good strategy if you want your adult children never to talk to you again.

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#17

Well I was mostly raised by my grandparents. We lived in an all white community and my grandparents believed every terrible thing they had ever been told about black people. I spent my youth being fed those lies but everyone I knew was white and I couldn’t imagine it being true. When I got to college I met my first non white people and was able to verify that the things they believed just weren’t true.

And luckily both of them realized that before they passed away.

Zetta216 Report

#18

30 People Share The Dead Wrong Things Their Parents Taught Them, And There Is Actual Wisdom In Their Realizations Animals don't get cold, they're made for being outside.

Informal_Analysis , pexels Report

#19

30 People Share The Dead Wrong Things Their Parents Taught Them, And There Is Actual Wisdom In Their Realizations ‘’Parents always know what’s best for their child’’

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#20

30 People Share The Dead Wrong Things Their Parents Taught Them, And There Is Actual Wisdom In Their Realizations They're not gay, they're just confused.

Informal_Analysis , pexels Report

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ᴠᴀ̈ɪɴᴏ🇺🇦
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

bullshite. so what if they're gay? if ya got a problem don't look. just live under a freaking rock your entire life

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#21

30 People Share The Dead Wrong Things Their Parents Taught Them, And There Is Actual Wisdom In Their Realizations That their love has conditions, and if not followed they will drop you in your time of need. Right or wrong, I hope my children will never feel like they can’t talk to me or that I will judge them.

AnxiouslyHopefull , unsplash Report

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StarmanWaitingInTheSky
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And some elderly folks wonder why their family dumped them in a care home and don't want to contact them again.

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#22

Saying, 'Do as I say, not as I do.' A leader shouldn't ask his followers to do something he wouldn't.

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#23

30 People Share The Dead Wrong Things Their Parents Taught Them, And There Is Actual Wisdom In Their Realizations That sex is something to be ashamed of.

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Miss-Un-Derstood
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Let me guess? Religious parents? Why are they SO obsessed with sex & punishment?

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#24

30 People Share The Dead Wrong Things Their Parents Taught Them, And There Is Actual Wisdom In Their Realizations That as long as we “have always been given everything we need we are loved”. The emotional abuse has ruined me

CEmofficially , pexels Report

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Helenium
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

yeah im always called ungrateful or selfish or the "dont you know what we have done for you" when i stand up to their abuse

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#25

30 People Share The Dead Wrong Things Their Parents Taught Them, And There Is Actual Wisdom In Their Realizations The man of the house is always right.

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#26

30 People Share The Dead Wrong Things Their Parents Taught Them, And There Is Actual Wisdom In Their Realizations No, it's not racist to say that.

Informal_Analysis , unsplash.com Report

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Loty
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Any discrimination based on skin color is racism. There are no exceptions.

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#27

30 People Share The Dead Wrong Things Their Parents Taught Them, And There Is Actual Wisdom In Their Realizations Don't worry about the college loans! You're smart, you'll get a good job and pay that off in a few years.

Informal_Analysis , pexels Report

#28

That it is illegal to have the little ceiling light on in the car.

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#29

30 People Share The Dead Wrong Things Their Parents Taught Them, And There Is Actual Wisdom In Their Realizations That i basically have to be a smaller version of them, believe exactly what they do and not think for myself and have my own opinion. If i have kids id let them be open minded and believe what they want

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C.Douglas
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Every parent should aspire for their kids to be better than them not the same

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#30

To try to fit in as much as possible and to please others, at the expense of who you really are on the inside.

ConsciousnessWizard Report

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Johan van Luijn-Hermans
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There are so many things in this list that have hurt me over the years, but this one was probably the worst one for me and is still today. After already years of mental issues, currently recovering from a depression. After 36 years I'm now finally at the point that I really feel like I'm allowed to express myself. Wear the clothes I like, live the life that I like, hell even think what I like. Never, ever tell your kids to be normal, if they are expressing themselves differently. They will start eating away themselves from the inside and at some point they will break.

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