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40 Bitter Truths About Being An Adult That Usually Don’t Cross Teens’ Minds, As Pointed Out In This Viral Thread
When you're a kid and a teenager, the idea of adulthood can seem like a promise of a brand new world full of thrilling opportunities and all sorts of amazing things. You finally get your well-deserved freedom, there's absolutely nobody to tell you what to do, you can create and live your life however you want and, most importantly, you finally have the liberty to go to sleep whenever you'd like, right?
In reality, once the long-awaited adulthood finally visits, stuff tends to get a tiny bit more complicated, and this AskReddit thread with over 74k upvotes is the perfect proof of that. The thread was started by the user u/berkel-is-a-madlad who asked fellow community members "What is something that sucks about being an adult that most teenagers don’t realize?" With that being said, Bored Panda invites you to look at some of the best answers we managed to find. As always, feel free to answer the question yourself in the comment section.
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For me it's watching my parents get old.
As a teenager I thought they were all about keeping me restricted and controlled. Now I realize they're just two people who never had a kid before, did the best they knew how, and fu**ed up at times like all other humans on the planet.
I never realized how much I needed them emotionally until I saw my father through his open heart surgery, and saw Parkinson's take my mother's independence.
So here I am still feeling like a teenager on the inside, staring down the barrel of 50, wondering what the hell happened.
Here's a good lesson, then. Tell your parents that you love them now, rather than after the fact when they are gone and won't know. Even with their faults (we all have them) try to appreciate them for who they are. Keep in mind that they will not be here forever; life is ephemeral and one day (whether through accident/illness, etc., or due to age) they will be gone, often suddenly. I realize that this doesn't apply the same for people who have parents from hell...I mean for everyone else.
Planning dinner every damn night.
Our everyday struggle - "What do you want to eat today?" - "I don't know" - "Me either" .. Not the worst problem in the world obviously but still :p
You don't fundamentally change, you are still you, even if you are older. It's the same you, you just need to survive in the adult world.
You don't gain adult powers, you just have to do adult things.
It’s like when a girl gets her first period. Does she suddenly have infinite information about it? No, she just has to figure it out and survive having it every month for the next 50 years.
You can do whatever you want, but most of the time you either have commitments that prevent it, or you can't afford it.
One day your body will betray you.
Getting hurt in your 20s means actually doing something that screwed up your body. Getting hurt in your 50s: you slept wrong.
Being lonely. Making friends as an adult is difficult, sometimes verging on impossible. You don't see people in your age group who are doing the same things you are every day anymore.
This is so real, especially where I live. If it were not for my GF, (and we do not live together) I would not know a single person irl.
Yeah agreed. I literally have no friends here. Sounds lame but I bet there are millions of men like us
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When I was in my 20s I had this awesome group of friends and we used to go to the pub on weekends to drink beer and play pool. Then they all moved away to look for work, and just like that I had no-one to hang out with and no idea how to meet anyone new. The loneliness definitely contributed to my slide into severe depression which happened at around the same time. :(
More recently I found a new group of friends and it was awesome... except then the pandemic happened and now we're all stuck at home and can't see each other for the foreseeable future. Groan.
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the social skill to learn here is to have life interests in something other than yourself. Then join a club or group of people that have the same interest. You will be able to socialize with these people and have friends. It is always a shock for young people to go from a college setting where they are surrounded by people their own age and with similar shared interests to go into the working world and not have that anymore.
I'm lonely. I don't really have anything outside of my husband and kids
And the friends you have seem to be dying off at an alarming rate.
Yeah. I guess in school, people could see their friends everyday, but even though when you don't have to ask your parents to drive you to their house when you're an adult, you don't have that automatic socialisation.
Thank goodness! Finally you get to avoid people of your same age group!! That is the best part of being adult. Best enriching relationships are between people of different ages and interest. I' m VERY gratefull for not having to see the same people anymore
This is where the positive side of social media can really shine. Real life friends are important and everyone needs, and deserves, a support system, but there is nothing wrong with finding comfort and a sense of belonging among like minded and/or sympathetic internet citizens.
Painfully true. I'm 34 and have no friends that I can see in person, they're all on the internet, hundreds of miles away. I'm lucky to have them, but it can still feel isolating not having anyone to be in physical contact with.
Conventions are a great way to deal with this, as are smaller events where everyone's meeting up due to similar interests! Past generations had local garden clubs and the like to deal with this issue. There's always a way, you just have to look for people who share your interests gathering to do so.
This is true. There is also the effort involved in it as well. Sometimes I just want to eat in peace.
So go and become a geek! Geeks can geek out about their favorite things and will find other people who geek along with them. Geek out about stitching or drawing or pottery or Harry Potter - whatever. Just get passionate about something, and you'll find company. Board - games are really good for getting to meet people. Hell, even camping or fishing will give you a group to become friends with!
Maybe it depends on a person's personality too? For me I do not find this to be a probably, but that is just me and I am pushing 50.
Hopefully, if you get to retire, this will change as you can join groups with similar interests.
This is so true, even if you do have contact with other people, you simply might not like them enough to call them friend.
Luckily this is not my experience at all. I've gained many friends as an adult and continue to do so. Reading these comments I feel very fortunate about the circumstances that allow me to do so
I’ve never had a lot of friends. I had exactly three close friends that I made in my late 20s. They all moved away more than five years ago, and l, at 50, I have no idea how to make new friends. Thank god for my wife, or my cat and my Xbox would be my only companions.
And once your friends start having children, you'll never see them again.
Play dates if you end up with your own kids, but yeah friends tend to disappear if you don’t follow similar life tracks.
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Do you know how much painful peopleing you have to do to get to the few you have anything in common with?
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Sounds easy, but it's not. Daily life gets in the way. People grow apart.
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You are always cleaning the kitchen
You come home from work and you're tired and if you don't feel like making dinner, then you're not eating dinner.
The repetition makes you lose time. Having the same job, workout regimen, schedule in general makes days blend into one another
Edit. Thanks for all the replies. I just want to point out I didn't mean life becomes boring. I was just talking about lack of those major separators we had as children like summer vacation, new school, your first kiss, etc. Due to those major separators missing I don't recall if I did something a year ago or 3 years ago. It's a little blurry if something happened 2 weeks ago or 4 months ago. This is because once you have a career and a home you're doing a lot of similar things most days(work, chores, cooking, hobbies, etc). This is why the days start to blend into one another, at least in your memory.
When something goes wrong or something unexpected happens, there’s no one else to deal with it.
Plugged toilet? You gotta clear it.
Car outta gas? You gotta fill it.
Run out of clean undies? You gotta do laundry.
From small things to massive things, there’s no one to make it go away but you.
That ordering food is actually expensive and your parents weren’t lying to you
There’s never enough time for all the things you need to do. Definitely not enough time for the things you want to do
Life revolves around grocery shopping, preparing food, washing dishes, doing laundry, vacuuming and tidying up. It does not stop, don't let it pile up for the weekends or else you waste your weekends stuck indoors.
Alcohol is not your friend, it does not have the answers you are looking for, and usually gets you in even more trouble. Drink with friends to celebrate, don't drink alone in silence.
When all the cliches that used to piss you off start making sense and meaning something, but you can’t explain it to younger people because they haven’t lived that life experience yet.
As I age I just find those cliches more and more reductive and less helpful.
Each day is desperately short. Work consumes 75% of the time you’re awake. And the time you’re free is spent doing chores and being tired. Hobbies slowly cease to exist and you just start to look for quick escapes.
That you had no idea what you were talking about when you were a teenager
Dental care. It’s so damn expensive if you let your teeth degrade. Please floss my dudes.
Yeah, if I could go back in time and give myself some advice I would say "look after your teeth and take care of your back".
Forgetting your age is a real problem. The only people who remind me how old I am are my kids, and i often have to double check. I used to ask my parents how old they were and they always "cant remember" or said "21" and it confused me. I get it now.
Even though February is the shortest month, the rent is still the same
I knew someone whose tenant thought she didn't need to pay rent when she went on holiday for 2 weeks because she wouldn't be there :)
You know all those things you thought you would do when you were out on your own? They cost money, and you have to work for it...
The adult part.
The moment you need to pay for everything and the realization that fresh food spoils faster than you ever noticed before was eye opening
The importance and scarcity of time. Your "you time" gets seriously reduced as you get older and your other responsibilities mount up. I used to think that spending half an hour cleaning 3 times a week was the worst thing ever. Now I spend about an hour cleaning pretty much every day. Between work, maintaining a house, and raising kids, the amount of you time gets reduced to.minutes a day. Anything else you want to do means sacrificing sleep.
The other thing is how true "time=money" actually is. Simply existing and breathing costs money. Food, rent, bills, transport cost money. Often the difference between happiness and unhappiness for me was comfortably making it to my next paycheck.
Adult acne. It doesn’t magically go away when you turn 18
You need to be mentally prepared for the "benchmarks" in your life to not happen or for them to not happen on the right schedule. The big events in your life up to now have been driven and put into place largely by governments and parents and teachers. This is by design - to slowly teach you the relationship between efforts and results. The accomplishments you have laid out as an adult in front of you are largely up to you, and your place in society has a lot more to do with luck than you'd probably like to think.
As a teenager you tend to think "I will get married at 28, have a kid at 30 and 33, but only after I've graduated from the elite engineering program of my choice." You may not achieve any of those things, and the obsession with delivering them on schedule will cause you deep frustration or even grief. You may not find a spouse, or have a child, or own a house, or even remain relatively healthy.
Learn to give yourself a break now before you spend years of your life grieving the future you believe you screwed yourself out of.
Forty eight here
Bills don't stop or go away. Ever.
Work sucks. That's why they pay you to do it because nobody's doing that bullsh*t for free. Think of it as a means to your life and avoid it becoming your identity.
The term "work life balance" is HR code for "We own you. You're at our disposal 24/7/365"
Nobody owes you a damn thing and ain't nobody gonna give you nothing for free. They're much more likely to try to take what you have.
If not married, we're pretty sexually promiscuous and don't always adhere to the strict rules that we put on you - except that we're generally better with birth control and usually more fastidious about STD status.
You can choose one of two paths - shi**y life now or shi**y life later. The one thing I'd change about everything is to choose the shi**y life early on. Living life all YOLO or whatever you kids say when I was in my twenties came with consequences that persisted for decades and will likely render me unable to ever retire.
Time accelerates. Forty is but a blink away. So seize the opportunity you have today because it'll be gone in an instant.
Metabolism does not go brrrrrrr
You're at a time in your life when you see your friends almost every day at school. That should be cherished, because it's vastly simpler than maintaining friendships as you enter adulthood and you don't have that constant contact.
Life as an adult is change, most of it outside of your control. People change, circumstances shift...all of that work you put into your adult friendships can vanish in an instant, and you just have to adapt and move on.
I had friends once upon a time. Now I live in trump country, finding someone with whom i have anything in common is just not going to happen.
Money loses value QUICKLY as you get older. Give me $1000 at 15 and I would have been in heaven buying video games and gadgets candy and all sorts of stupid nonsense. Give me $1000 at 36 and it's going towards paying off the crushing debt that comes with adulthood and car repairs that I've put off way too long and all sorts of totally un-fun things.
By the time you're 30 you are going to be lucky to see whatever close friends you have left more than a couple times a year. And it's considered normal.
You can't just quit your job if you dont like it.
I disagree…I spent years working a job I hated and was miserable. People have to stop putting this idea into others heads. You can leave whatever job, whenever you want, you just have to do it the right way and make sure you don’t leave yourself stranded. But their is no reason to stay at a job if your not happy with it. No way. Get the hell out as soon as you can. Work is not supposed to suck.
You can be homeless.
coming home from work and still work at home
Money adds up quick. You see something cheap that you want as a teen and think “It’s only $5.” Yes it is only $5, but when the end of the month comes, all those “only” purchases add up really fast.
Waking up and just aching for non discernible reason other than having slept ‘a bit funny’.
Oh, and the 3 day hangovers that make it barely worth drinking more than a couple glasses of wine
Losing your identity and sense of purpose once you graduate and enter a job that sucks up all your time.
You have no energy to pursue the hobbies or interests you once had. You're also no longer able to be the Smart Kid or the Theatre Kid or the Jock or whatever -- you're just another depressed 20-something trying to survive, playing 1 hour of a video game you'll never finish per night just to feel something in between cooking, chores, and your depressingly early bedtime.
the identity thing was something that i realized back in high school. i was a military brat so that meant i ended up moving/living in areas that other kids were born and raised. some of the 'townies' were so wrapped up with their position in the community - like the 'mayor's daughter' or the 'doctor's son' and acted like the rest of us needed to acknowledge they were 'special'. i called this the big fish in the little pond syndrome and always wondered how they were going to handle the real world when there would be bigger fish that could snap them up easily
Discipline is very hard to maintain when you are lacking purpose.
When you are a teenager there’s so much you think you can achieve:
“I’ll get into that college.”
“I’ll get that degree.”
“I’ll land that cool job after.”
“I’ll date that person who will fulfill me.”
However, what happens when those things fail and you have to readjust? What if the idea of progress turns into an idea of just sustainment?
My advice to teenagers: The most important thing you need to work towards figuring out as you enter into early adulthood is your purpose. It can change over time of course, but never be without it.
Note: this post originally had 49 images. It’s been shortened to the top 40 images based on user votes.
Adult life comes with a lot of responsibilities and challenges, but I find this post paints a too dark picture. You can still have happiness as an adult and can find fullfillment in things you gave no thought about as a teenager.
I agree. In HS and even college I was always busy after class with essays, examns and so (and housechores). Once I started working I was sueprised of how much free time I had. Yes I needed to do more chores than before but after work I had a lot of time. And while I didnt have a lot of money I had some and independence.
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I became disabled and chronically ill at 46, from walking 4 miles a day for fun, to being in a wheelchair within a week. I've had to come to terms with the fact that there are so many things I will never do, or do again. I never appreciated my body and my health until I became ill and had to medically retire. Don't put things off like taking a course or following a dream because your life could change in an instant. I am well educated, hard working, intelligent and kind; I had a mental health breakdown, was made homeless twice through no fault of my own, and had to start my life over from scratch; it can happen to anyone.
I am so sorry for your troubles. I learned this too, first, when I was a little kid, and we went from comfortable middle class to homeless because my father abandoned us. Then, plenty of health crises over the years. I am now over 60, and working on getting my strength and mobility back, but it gets harder all the time. I am sending you good wishes and all good fortune from now on.
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Yet another wake up call for how lucky and privileged I am - I'm 41 and I hardly recognise any of the disillusionment present in these posts.
I’m not 40 but in my 30’s and I hear you. It’s not perfect but man I don’t see age as a barrier. My partner and I even talk a lot about how at 40 we plan to switch up the hobbies and careers and just have a go at new things. Probably the same at 50
Load More Replies... No-one told me that the moment I hit thirty I would suddenly become tired all the time. Where did all the energy I had in my 20s go?? Other than that I don't have much to complain about. I hated being a kid, and I love being an adult. :D
That was a very optimistic post! Now excuse me I'll go hang myself from somewhere😢😢😢😢
I do not relate to much of this -- my life took other paths in my 70+ years. How much of this is about homogenized USA middle-class tedium?
I'd say it's about 75% Instagram... The difference between the magazines of old and today's media is the peer level. Ages ago the celebs envied had to have done something to earn their status - even if that was appearing in Corrie. It pushed them out of the standard, every day peer group of the average 17 year old - no direct parallel to their lives. And now there's "I'm 22 and I'm putting my best life in a vlog" and they're from the *same* background/city/social status as their viewers! Comparisons to other people have become closer and harsher. So disillusionment is easier, and the mundane bothers more because the gaps in excitement are further apart, even years apart (and not "every other Tuesday" or whenever the vlog gets updated). There's way more to it than this too - I certainly wouldn't pin in on the US, the middle class, or a combination of the two, on their own.
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Welp. Having an emotionally unstable single parent and a younger sister to take care of really did prepare me for many of these.
Right! Like, did these people not work to help pay rent and clean the house when they were kids? Being an adult is a breeze in comparison. I always assumed most kids did the majority of the house work and helped watch their siblings but sounds like people were shocked to have to wash the dishes every night. My mother stopped washing dishes as soon as my sister and I were tall enough to reach the sink.
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It doesn't have to be depressing, SirPatTheCat, it's just meant to be a wake up call!!!
Load More Replies... I'll probably get downvoted for this but here goes. I found this post quite depressing as a lot of it seems to have come from adults who haven't really grasped that change is a part of life. There's advantages and downsides to being a kid and advantages an downsides to being an adult, the way to cope is to be adaptable. I had a lot of adult responsibilities as a kid (which I won't go into as I just don't want to) so perhaps that (unbeknownst to me at the time) set me up for adult life in a way it didn't for others. I still had a childhood though. It's a bit of a cliche but also true in that life is what you make of it, regardless of age. Stressing because you now have to do laundry or pay bills achieves nothing but more stress and resentment that you can't turn back the clock. A lot of these posts seem to come from those who can't accept they aren't a kid anymore.
I gave you an upvote. Totally agreed with you. As kid you have different problems like an adult, but you still have. You still have to solve something (school, homeworks, job, bills, chores…). But being adult has also its pluses.Work, bills, chores, children are as annoying how much you hate it. Don’t hate, enjoy. If you have good job, nice family, good friends, everything goes and can makes you happy. If you don’t have, do not waste the time, try to have. And this also applies when you are kid. Try to get the best from you (both kid and adult) and life and possibilities can be wide open :)
Load More Replies... We are all very similar in the things we do. People see the masked world of FB or Instagram but we all have to do the same mundane things...clean your house, go to the toilet, do laundry etc etc. There are perhaps a few people who don't (rich?) but otherwise realise this: don't always assume other people have better lives than you. We're all actually quite similar and yes, one day we all end up 6 foot under. Rich or poor.
When you're younger you are convinced you will change the world. That you and your peers will clean up the messes made by the generation before you and that you will never let things get bad again. And then before you know it, you're part of the generation getting blamed for everything and listening to all the younger people saying the exact same things you said.
this entire post is f*****g depressing is it rlly THAT bad for most people
Absolutely not. I was depressed as a teen, and people in their 30s and 40s told me that teenage years are the best years of your life. I figured if life was only gonna get even worse, I'd rather die. I had some of the wake up calls here while in my early 20s, but then I got a job I love, partner I love, and had time and money for hobbies and holidays... my 30s were, and my 40s are, fantastic. I love my kids, and the freedom I have. I can ignore chores when I want to because it's my house! Ignore the misery of this article, make your life great.
Load More Replies... 30 minutes meditation every day is truly beneficial, and exercising to stay fit and healthy. Smoking drinking and taking drugs really will destroy your life or kill you and destructively affect those close to you
I think the USA is a dire and depressing place and you should all work on getting s**t improved. Sadly though, your majority thinks that that is socialist and socialism is a dirty word...
Exactly. All these testimonies seem to come from American middle class people.
Load More Replies... 32 and my life is a million times easier now that I am an adult. Grew up in incredibly unstable house holds, lived in poverty until I moved out, I was so stressed and depressed that I dropped out of high school after the 9th grade, had attempted suicide 4 times by the age of 17. Once I cut my family out of my life, I was able to find a supportive partner, we lived in poverty but we managed to get each other through college, bought a house by the age of 24, got promoted 6 times and even had my job pay for my Masters degree. Hard part about being an adult was the fear that if I failed, I had no one to turn to, but I realized that had been true my entire life. The worst that could happen would be me ending up homeless but I had been there before off and off my entire childhood. There is nothing about being an adult that is harder than being a kid. I cleaned and cooked every day as a kid, I paid bills and credit cards off for my parents, at least now I get to reap the rewards.
What I get from most of these posts is that life is unpredictable and filled with changes. Of course this reality can be challenging if you remain attached to one idea about how things must be. But if you can learn to seek out the unexpected treasures that each new situation offers, then you can become a master at living. Yes, life is not always happy. A good life requires effort. This does not make it negative. It just means you need to work at it.
the part of adulting that really blew my mind was when i realized that what i thought i wanted to do with my life wasn't what i thought it was. i ended up working in a field that was so far removed from my degrees that i, at first, thought of it as a jumping off place until i started my 'real career'. ended up loving the job and actually used my education in many parts of the job. but, if i have any thing i would do differently i would say it would have to be doing what i wanted to do in my personal life and not let others such as family influence my decisions. then again, i have to admit that i have had some really good things happen because allowed that to happen. let's face it - life is a crap shoot. and, all those people you think have the 'perfect' life may be miserable for connecting all the proverbial dots to success. be happy where your planted.
This list is very dismal. I’m 30. Don’t own a home. I rent. I own my car. Just pay insurance. Couldn’t afford college as my parents put my sister through 3 separate colleges before she flunked out. I never got that chance. I’ve been able to slowly build myself up as life goes on. With that I am a massage therapist, yoga instructor, peer support specialist (help people through their mental health and addiction recovery) And soon taking up a job as a ball room dance instructor. Life can be a lot of fun! This coming from a guy who’s grown up with friends dying since I was 12. Suicide and car accidents. Someone who has tried to take their own life in the past, it gets better if you put in the work. It may not always happen how you want or desire, but every day truly is a day to learn and grow.
Totally agree. It seems that a lot of this comes from people not being what they expected to be or how they expected life to be. Adaptability is key.
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And one more thing to scare teens: aduldhood is way more closer than you think.
So I don't have to go to school anymore! Wel school looks pretty good to me now it's no longer an option.
My body started going downhill before I hit 30. Found out the hard way I have full-blown osteoporosis: breaking a hip.
a lot of these are specifically under American capitalism problems, speaking as a middle aged adult who has lived in Europe and knows better can exist
Am I adulting wrong? So few of these things apply to me. I'm all for a straightforward look at life but do we have to be this depressing about it? Unless something really bizarre happens my body has yet to betray me - it is a mirror of how I treat it. Workouts five days a week but not enough dieting to quite get rid of the belly, back pain from years and years of not taking care of myself. Those are fair trades. I make friends when I want them. I'm in a choir and gaming club for people my age. There are libraries and language clubs and sporting events and all sorts of places to meet people my age. I sleep fine and get through 'hangovers' (if I get one) much better than I used to. I see some of my close friends every day, some once a week, some once a month, and some once a year. Any important events I've missed have been my choice completely - not to be blamed on adulthood. I have a lot more free time in my life than I did at any other point. Adult 'benchmarks' are a silly construct you don't have to follow them. And don't listen to people who say 'shitty life now or shitty life later' - that's not how it has to be. "Life revolves around grocery shopping, preparing food, washing dishes, doing laundry, vacuuming and tidying up. It does not stop, don't let it pile up for the weekends or else you waste your weekends stuck indoors." No, it doesn't. My life doesn't revolve around any of these things.
I think a lot of this depends on the country you are in and what work you do. I found very little of this to be true except the constant paying bills part and dealing with elderly parents. I am very fortunate to have a lot of free time to spend as I like (work about 8 hours a day, 5 days a week and sleep for about 8 hours a night) and some free cash for hobbies or going out places. I live in a small place and I have very little stuff so cleaning is a breeze and takes very little time. I have a few friends that I see regularly as well. Definitely privileged to be middle class in South Africa with fairly good employment laws.
This hits close to the bone as I'm pushing 40. BUT 1. We still can get some of the good in the world, b/c many have before us through much harder trials. 2. IF, despite adult responsibilities, you have some spare time & resources, you may be able to achieve some of the things you want. The person saying, 'I'm depressed as I just play a vid game each night,' why not invest some of that energy in relationships w/ people, even just by chatting on the phone? &/or invest this time in a passion like playing an instrument, writing or journaling, starting a side hustle - all would be more fulfilling. That goes to 3. You've got to confront hard choices. That hobby, that vice, that bad habit, the job or relationship that's not working - confront those things. You may need to recommit to the job or S/O, or part ways. But be deliberate. It's hard, so don't be hard on yourself, nor others. But don't just give up in despair, b/c it's amazing what can be achieved when we take the best steps we can.
Compound interest is your friend. No matter what, try, really try, to save something every month. I know it gets more difficult all the time, but saving for your retirement is vital. It seems like you have all the time in the world, but you don't. If you start saving early enough, your money will eventually be earning more than you are, if you invest wisely. I've read that mine is the last generation that will be able to retire, and I hope that isn't so. I just retired, early, not because I made a lot of money but because I did without sometimes just to be able to save something. I watched friends at work stop for coffee every morning, go out to lunch every day and for drinks every night. They are still in the office while I am enjoying a comfortable retirement. Just sayin...
Stuff like thses is what's preventing me from having kids. I wouldn't want to impose such difficult life on an innocent person, I'm too kind and empathetic for that!
I always took for granted how much energy I had in my teens and twenties. I would definitely not do that if I could go through it all again. I mean, hey young people! You have energy! Use it wisely (I have no doubt that that will never be take well since teens have never listened to the elders).
Ignore the BS of this article. Many, many adults love their lives. This is a collection of a mere 30 people having a moan. Adult life does involve some hard work, but it is not -- and need not be -- as miserable as this lot. My advice: get a job you love, and every day is a pleasure. Xx
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One of the worst thing about being an adult is not having the time or resources to prepare your kids so they won’t suck at adulting as you have. World without end, amen.
In other words; why would you deliberately put a child into this world when everyone is obviously unhappy
The world we humans have built for ourselves is miserable. And the worst part is it doesn't have to be if we don't want to be, but we've been brainwashed by the rich.
Adult life comes with a lot of responsibilities and challenges, but I find this post paints a too dark picture. You can still have happiness as an adult and can find fullfillment in things you gave no thought about as a teenager.
I agree. In HS and even college I was always busy after class with essays, examns and so (and housechores). Once I started working I was sueprised of how much free time I had. Yes I needed to do more chores than before but after work I had a lot of time. And while I didnt have a lot of money I had some and independence.
Load More Replies... I became disabled and chronically ill at 46, from walking 4 miles a day for fun, to being in a wheelchair within a week. I've had to come to terms with the fact that there are so many things I will never do, or do again. I never appreciated my body and my health until I became ill and had to medically retire. Don't put things off like taking a course or following a dream because your life could change in an instant. I am well educated, hard working, intelligent and kind; I had a mental health breakdown, was made homeless twice through no fault of my own, and had to start my life over from scratch; it can happen to anyone.
I am so sorry for your troubles. I learned this too, first, when I was a little kid, and we went from comfortable middle class to homeless because my father abandoned us. Then, plenty of health crises over the years. I am now over 60, and working on getting my strength and mobility back, but it gets harder all the time. I am sending you good wishes and all good fortune from now on.
Load More Replies... Yet another wake up call for how lucky and privileged I am - I'm 41 and I hardly recognise any of the disillusionment present in these posts.
I’m not 40 but in my 30’s and I hear you. It’s not perfect but man I don’t see age as a barrier. My partner and I even talk a lot about how at 40 we plan to switch up the hobbies and careers and just have a go at new things. Probably the same at 50
Load More Replies... No-one told me that the moment I hit thirty I would suddenly become tired all the time. Where did all the energy I had in my 20s go?? Other than that I don't have much to complain about. I hated being a kid, and I love being an adult. :D
That was a very optimistic post! Now excuse me I'll go hang myself from somewhere😢😢😢😢
I do not relate to much of this -- my life took other paths in my 70+ years. How much of this is about homogenized USA middle-class tedium?
I'd say it's about 75% Instagram... The difference between the magazines of old and today's media is the peer level. Ages ago the celebs envied had to have done something to earn their status - even if that was appearing in Corrie. It pushed them out of the standard, every day peer group of the average 17 year old - no direct parallel to their lives. And now there's "I'm 22 and I'm putting my best life in a vlog" and they're from the *same* background/city/social status as their viewers! Comparisons to other people have become closer and harsher. So disillusionment is easier, and the mundane bothers more because the gaps in excitement are further apart, even years apart (and not "every other Tuesday" or whenever the vlog gets updated). There's way more to it than this too - I certainly wouldn't pin in on the US, the middle class, or a combination of the two, on their own.
Load More Replies... Welp. Having an emotionally unstable single parent and a younger sister to take care of really did prepare me for many of these.
Right! Like, did these people not work to help pay rent and clean the house when they were kids? Being an adult is a breeze in comparison. I always assumed most kids did the majority of the house work and helped watch their siblings but sounds like people were shocked to have to wash the dishes every night. My mother stopped washing dishes as soon as my sister and I were tall enough to reach the sink.
Load More Replies... It doesn't have to be depressing, SirPatTheCat, it's just meant to be a wake up call!!!
Load More Replies... I'll probably get downvoted for this but here goes. I found this post quite depressing as a lot of it seems to have come from adults who haven't really grasped that change is a part of life. There's advantages and downsides to being a kid and advantages an downsides to being an adult, the way to cope is to be adaptable. I had a lot of adult responsibilities as a kid (which I won't go into as I just don't want to) so perhaps that (unbeknownst to me at the time) set me up for adult life in a way it didn't for others. I still had a childhood though. It's a bit of a cliche but also true in that life is what you make of it, regardless of age. Stressing because you now have to do laundry or pay bills achieves nothing but more stress and resentment that you can't turn back the clock. A lot of these posts seem to come from those who can't accept they aren't a kid anymore.
I gave you an upvote. Totally agreed with you. As kid you have different problems like an adult, but you still have. You still have to solve something (school, homeworks, job, bills, chores…). But being adult has also its pluses.Work, bills, chores, children are as annoying how much you hate it. Don’t hate, enjoy. If you have good job, nice family, good friends, everything goes and can makes you happy. If you don’t have, do not waste the time, try to have. And this also applies when you are kid. Try to get the best from you (both kid and adult) and life and possibilities can be wide open :)
Load More Replies... We are all very similar in the things we do. People see the masked world of FB or Instagram but we all have to do the same mundane things...clean your house, go to the toilet, do laundry etc etc. There are perhaps a few people who don't (rich?) but otherwise realise this: don't always assume other people have better lives than you. We're all actually quite similar and yes, one day we all end up 6 foot under. Rich or poor.
When you're younger you are convinced you will change the world. That you and your peers will clean up the messes made by the generation before you and that you will never let things get bad again. And then before you know it, you're part of the generation getting blamed for everything and listening to all the younger people saying the exact same things you said.
this entire post is f*****g depressing is it rlly THAT bad for most people
Absolutely not. I was depressed as a teen, and people in their 30s and 40s told me that teenage years are the best years of your life. I figured if life was only gonna get even worse, I'd rather die. I had some of the wake up calls here while in my early 20s, but then I got a job I love, partner I love, and had time and money for hobbies and holidays... my 30s were, and my 40s are, fantastic. I love my kids, and the freedom I have. I can ignore chores when I want to because it's my house! Ignore the misery of this article, make your life great.
Load More Replies... 30 minutes meditation every day is truly beneficial, and exercising to stay fit and healthy. Smoking drinking and taking drugs really will destroy your life or kill you and destructively affect those close to you
I think the USA is a dire and depressing place and you should all work on getting s**t improved. Sadly though, your majority thinks that that is socialist and socialism is a dirty word...
Exactly. All these testimonies seem to come from American middle class people.
Load More Replies... 32 and my life is a million times easier now that I am an adult. Grew up in incredibly unstable house holds, lived in poverty until I moved out, I was so stressed and depressed that I dropped out of high school after the 9th grade, had attempted suicide 4 times by the age of 17. Once I cut my family out of my life, I was able to find a supportive partner, we lived in poverty but we managed to get each other through college, bought a house by the age of 24, got promoted 6 times and even had my job pay for my Masters degree. Hard part about being an adult was the fear that if I failed, I had no one to turn to, but I realized that had been true my entire life. The worst that could happen would be me ending up homeless but I had been there before off and off my entire childhood. There is nothing about being an adult that is harder than being a kid. I cleaned and cooked every day as a kid, I paid bills and credit cards off for my parents, at least now I get to reap the rewards.
What I get from most of these posts is that life is unpredictable and filled with changes. Of course this reality can be challenging if you remain attached to one idea about how things must be. But if you can learn to seek out the unexpected treasures that each new situation offers, then you can become a master at living. Yes, life is not always happy. A good life requires effort. This does not make it negative. It just means you need to work at it.
the part of adulting that really blew my mind was when i realized that what i thought i wanted to do with my life wasn't what i thought it was. i ended up working in a field that was so far removed from my degrees that i, at first, thought of it as a jumping off place until i started my 'real career'. ended up loving the job and actually used my education in many parts of the job. but, if i have any thing i would do differently i would say it would have to be doing what i wanted to do in my personal life and not let others such as family influence my decisions. then again, i have to admit that i have had some really good things happen because allowed that to happen. let's face it - life is a crap shoot. and, all those people you think have the 'perfect' life may be miserable for connecting all the proverbial dots to success. be happy where your planted.
This list is very dismal. I’m 30. Don’t own a home. I rent. I own my car. Just pay insurance. Couldn’t afford college as my parents put my sister through 3 separate colleges before she flunked out. I never got that chance. I’ve been able to slowly build myself up as life goes on. With that I am a massage therapist, yoga instructor, peer support specialist (help people through their mental health and addiction recovery) And soon taking up a job as a ball room dance instructor. Life can be a lot of fun! This coming from a guy who’s grown up with friends dying since I was 12. Suicide and car accidents. Someone who has tried to take their own life in the past, it gets better if you put in the work. It may not always happen how you want or desire, but every day truly is a day to learn and grow.
Totally agree. It seems that a lot of this comes from people not being what they expected to be or how they expected life to be. Adaptability is key.
Load More Replies... And one more thing to scare teens: aduldhood is way more closer than you think.
So I don't have to go to school anymore! Wel school looks pretty good to me now it's no longer an option.
My body started going downhill before I hit 30. Found out the hard way I have full-blown osteoporosis: breaking a hip.
a lot of these are specifically under American capitalism problems, speaking as a middle aged adult who has lived in Europe and knows better can exist
Am I adulting wrong? So few of these things apply to me. I'm all for a straightforward look at life but do we have to be this depressing about it? Unless something really bizarre happens my body has yet to betray me - it is a mirror of how I treat it. Workouts five days a week but not enough dieting to quite get rid of the belly, back pain from years and years of not taking care of myself. Those are fair trades. I make friends when I want them. I'm in a choir and gaming club for people my age. There are libraries and language clubs and sporting events and all sorts of places to meet people my age. I sleep fine and get through 'hangovers' (if I get one) much better than I used to. I see some of my close friends every day, some once a week, some once a month, and some once a year. Any important events I've missed have been my choice completely - not to be blamed on adulthood. I have a lot more free time in my life than I did at any other point. Adult 'benchmarks' are a silly construct you don't have to follow them. And don't listen to people who say 'shitty life now or shitty life later' - that's not how it has to be. "Life revolves around grocery shopping, preparing food, washing dishes, doing laundry, vacuuming and tidying up. It does not stop, don't let it pile up for the weekends or else you waste your weekends stuck indoors." No, it doesn't. My life doesn't revolve around any of these things.
I think a lot of this depends on the country you are in and what work you do. I found very little of this to be true except the constant paying bills part and dealing with elderly parents. I am very fortunate to have a lot of free time to spend as I like (work about 8 hours a day, 5 days a week and sleep for about 8 hours a night) and some free cash for hobbies or going out places. I live in a small place and I have very little stuff so cleaning is a breeze and takes very little time. I have a few friends that I see regularly as well. Definitely privileged to be middle class in South Africa with fairly good employment laws.
This hits close to the bone as I'm pushing 40. BUT 1. We still can get some of the good in the world, b/c many have before us through much harder trials. 2. IF, despite adult responsibilities, you have some spare time & resources, you may be able to achieve some of the things you want. The person saying, 'I'm depressed as I just play a vid game each night,' why not invest some of that energy in relationships w/ people, even just by chatting on the phone? &/or invest this time in a passion like playing an instrument, writing or journaling, starting a side hustle - all would be more fulfilling. That goes to 3. You've got to confront hard choices. That hobby, that vice, that bad habit, the job or relationship that's not working - confront those things. You may need to recommit to the job or S/O, or part ways. But be deliberate. It's hard, so don't be hard on yourself, nor others. But don't just give up in despair, b/c it's amazing what can be achieved when we take the best steps we can.
Compound interest is your friend. No matter what, try, really try, to save something every month. I know it gets more difficult all the time, but saving for your retirement is vital. It seems like you have all the time in the world, but you don't. If you start saving early enough, your money will eventually be earning more than you are, if you invest wisely. I've read that mine is the last generation that will be able to retire, and I hope that isn't so. I just retired, early, not because I made a lot of money but because I did without sometimes just to be able to save something. I watched friends at work stop for coffee every morning, go out to lunch every day and for drinks every night. They are still in the office while I am enjoying a comfortable retirement. Just sayin...
Stuff like thses is what's preventing me from having kids. I wouldn't want to impose such difficult life on an innocent person, I'm too kind and empathetic for that!
I always took for granted how much energy I had in my teens and twenties. I would definitely not do that if I could go through it all again. I mean, hey young people! You have energy! Use it wisely (I have no doubt that that will never be take well since teens have never listened to the elders).
Ignore the BS of this article. Many, many adults love their lives. This is a collection of a mere 30 people having a moan. Adult life does involve some hard work, but it is not -- and need not be -- as miserable as this lot. My advice: get a job you love, and every day is a pleasure. Xx
Load More Replies... One of the worst thing about being an adult is not having the time or resources to prepare your kids so they won’t suck at adulting as you have. World without end, amen.
In other words; why would you deliberately put a child into this world when everyone is obviously unhappy
The world we humans have built for ourselves is miserable. And the worst part is it doesn't have to be if we don't want to be, but we've been brainwashed by the rich.
