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Someone Asks “What Is The Worst Parenting Trend To Date?” And People Give 40 Perfectly Blunt Answers
I hope that everyone agrees that not vaccinating your child is an ill way of parenting. Other parenting trends like letting kids do whatever they want and run amok like there’s no tomorrow are also questionable. But the subject matter is delicate, since we also like to believe that for the most part, parents know what’s best for their kids. Or do they?
Well, these two threads from Ask Reddit will shed some light on common parenting styles that are not necessarily healthy. In fact, people claim they’re everything but. “What is the worst parenting trend to date?” someone asked a while ago, and just recently a similar question popped up: "What parenting 'trend' do you strongly disagree with?"
Below we selected some thought-provoking arguments people shared in response to the questions. Also, let us know what parenting trend you don’t agree with in the comments below!
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Y'all need to cut this anti-vaccination s**t out like right now. Vaccines save lives.
This deserves it's place on top of the list. With the other things you'll have rude and uneducated kids that become entitled adults, but at least they get to become adults.
There are as many parenting styles as there are parents, and there’s no universal recipe on how to raise your children. But because the current generation faces unprecedented challenges, it also requires tact and special behavior from parents to be able to keep up with the changing times and the increased demands of parenting and child-rearing.
when ppl posts videos online of them punishing their kids. ex: “dad shaves girls head for txting boyfriend.” what in the sick hell kinda sh*t is that? and nobody seems to have a problem with that or thinks about how incredibly traumatic it’s going to be for that child. and the parents who do this literally make me sick. who is that for even? what are you trying to prove by humiliating your child in front of possibly thousands of ppl or more. ppl like this deserve to have their kids taken away. sorry not sorry.
Not teaching manners with other people's pets. You want to pat my dog you f**king ASK, then you introduce yourself to her (back of your hand to sniff), THEN you may pat her. DO NOT harass her. My dog is a sweetheart but she is an animal and she is at exactly the right height to bite your little darlings face off and then its my fault and my dog dies because you couldnt teach your brat some manners.
This should be so much higher. I have kids. I have dogs. One of my dogs LOVES kids. Loves being ridden like a horse (120lb german shepherd) and having small children climbing all over him. The other one is terrified of kids, luckily he has a very mean bark and isn't confrontational. He puffs himself up, barks as loud as he can and retreats backwards while barking. It's enough to scare them off. It's the parents not the kids or my dog. *EDIT* hey look it's number 2 now 😁
The coronavirus pandemic and political turmoil and war we see in Europe right now, as well as the inflation reaching sky highs all bring their own kind of uncertainty. For this reason, many parents are reevaluating the common parenting tactics previous generations took for granted.
Communicating trauma and being open about difficulties is one such new trend we see among parents. Another new style emerging is that more and more parents choose to provide their kids with experiences instead of material gifts. This is how you create memorable experiences and establish a better bond with your kid.
Not teaching basic manners and giving them a ridiculous sense of entitlement.
Yes! That kid is your diamond, great! He/she is a pain in my butt. I do not live your diamond.
Shielding children from the natural consequences of their actions. They don't learn from their mistakes and the consequence price tags are so much higher when they become adults.
How I was taught and how I taught my daughter. Do not be afraid from making mistakes, just make sure you learn from the experience in not repeating them.
I hate when parents get mad at me for telling off their kids. I work in hospitality and we have a bowl of mints at the bar with tongs to grab them out. One night these three kids, all under age 10 but old enough to know better, just started diving their hands into the bowl. I told them politely to use the tongs, then I told them off when they ignored my request. The parents got mad at me instead of their kids, even though their kids just made me throw out a whole bowl of mints. If you're incapable of disciplining your child properly, don't get upset when someone else does it for you.
YES. It takes a village to raise a child and parents should expect that village will need to reprimand your kid once in a while.
But no matter what new trends emerge in parenting, one very common flaw will probably outlive them all. And you guessed it… it’s spoiling kids. In fact, over half this survey of 1,125 parents with kids between 4 and 10 confessed that they spoil their children too much. Another 2 in 5 go even further, saying they’re sometimes “embarrassed by how selfish their child acts.”
Spoiled kids don’t get to know and feel what it is like to be grateful, as gratitude is not something that children acquire automatically. It needs to be nurtured, in an age-appropriate way, but the more they get used to getting their way easily, the harder it is to turn them around.
Parent of teens here! All of my kids have had a friend that stayed the night at our house because the friend missed curfew at home and wasn't allowed in the house. I don't get it. Punishing the kid for missing curfew is totally acceptable. But not letting them in their own house in the middle of the night? What good can possibly come from that? My own kids rarely missed their curfew but when they did, they knew that they could come home, to a safe place, and face the consequences the next day.
I agree with this 1000%. I woke up one morning and saw the neighbor's kid asleep on the porch. When I went to see if he was OK, he told me he missed curfew and was locked out for the night. That is so horrible!
I think I would have called the police or the youth welfare office. Leaving kids outside during the night is just dangerous and stupid.
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That would be grounds for calling the police and perhaps child protective services. That's child abandonment.
I see this comment way too much. Yes, locking them out of the house is asinine, stupid, dumb. All of the above! For one, a teenager isn't going to be taken out of the home. Very very rarely will that happen and two, this is obviously coming from people who have never been in the system and have no idea how bad it is and how much damage it does to a kid! Suburban white people say this s**t. I don't agree with a parent doing that but it doesn't mean they live in a bad house and aren't in a good home. And usually it's because the kid has been warned NUMEROUS times. Not justifying it just stating facts. It would take a really f****d up house hold for me to ever call child services. I have seen the system first hand and here's a news flash for all the suburbanites... IT DOESN'T WORK!! If anything it has the exact opposite affect.
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i knew so many parents who did this. it led to my friends and classmates doing horrifically dangerous stuff either because they couldn't get back in their house or in order to get home before that curfew. knew a girl who wrapped her car around a telephone pole full of kids because she need to get them and herself back by curfew. it's not worth it. not worth their lives or the lives of someone else who gets cause as collateral damage
A friend of a friend lost her 15 YO daughter. She was hit by a car trying to cross a freeway to get home on time, instead of taking the time to walk to an overpass.
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People actually do this?! I remember one time I missed my curfew and got back home around 4am (instead of 2am)... my punishment? Mum woke me up at 8am and made me cook breakfast for everyone. I was hangover, it was torture. I never got back home late again.
This is a great consequence for this! 😂 I'll have to remember that one! Thank goodness your mother wasn't a monster who locked the door.
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This is awful! The parents can sleep not knowing if their child is safe? Go f**k yourself, you don’t deserve those children.
It is not. It is a power move and doesn't teach the kid anything.
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"oh you didn't come home right on time now you don't get to come home at all"... the f**k is that logic
Exactly! You're just giving them what they wanted in the first place. The "punishment" sounds more like a reward!
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The world is far too dangerous to lock a teenager out of their own home.
Luckily my son and his friends always knew they could stay at our place if they were (and still may be) in any kind of trouble. My son is in his 20's now but still knows we are here for him and his friends. It is terrible that not all kids have support from their families.
As a teen, sleeping over my friends house (her family happened to be jehovah witnesses) we were late coming back and got locked out. Slept in her parents unlocked car and then got accused of doing "lesbian stuff" for sleeping in there. Couldn't go back to my house because she would've gotten in more trouble and I wasn't going to leave her alone (Typos)
If I found out some awful parents locked out MY kid at a sleepover I would bust down their door to yell at them (and... hopefully... not literally fight them, haha).
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Parents who lock their kids out should have those kids taken away from them. If you can’t be bothered to protect your children, the kids should go to someone who will.
I literally got raped on my own front porch when I got locked out of my home like this. It's absolutely unsafe and even if you think your neighborhood is safe and nothing will happen, believe me when I say that you have absolutely no idea who the hell might be lurking around outside late at night.
What the heck?! I thought it's about the kids safety or is it about the rules? How can parents be that dumb and cruel?
That's like suspending a kid from school because he skipping school.
WTH. Is this actually a real trend? Who in gods name locks their child out of their own home. If I saw that happening I’d call the police isn’t that abuse? There are other ways to discipline your child for missing curfew.
The curfew is to protect the kids, Some people are so busy protecting the rules they forget.
I think locking out people at night is illegal and punishable by law in at least some states because serial killers preyed on these people. Check it, maybe the perspective of jail is going to sober these monsters up.
This is longish, breaking it up in replies for readability, since BP doesn't let you do paragraphs. TL/DR: My mom is cool and realistic. She cared about our safety, and took care of our friends, too.
Seriously - I am 52 now, and I still clearly remember some of my friends staying the night when they missed curfew. My mom wasn't a pushover, but she was realistic.
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And along the same vein, not giving kids house keys or telling them where the hide-a-key is (to prevent this).
My mum used to do this with our foster siblings as she was sick of being woken up at 2 3 4am when they decided to come home (note that she didn't do this with her own kids as we were never late and would call in advance if we needed an extension). She would just lock up and call the police and report them missing. Once the police called my mum to pick my foster brother up. She left him there until the morning. That was the last time he was late.
That is how rhe mahaffy girl ended up in the hands of a killer in ontario canada
I've never heard of anyone doing this - I'm shocked. We have a key safe at our front door so no matter what there's a spare key for anyone needing it - I'd. Ever leave my kids stuck outside overnight
I just finished watching a documentary, where a 14 year old girl became the victim of a serial killer, all because she missed curfew. She was repeatedly raped and tortured for days before he ended her life. Before she was taken she tried banging on the front door repeatedly and phoning her parents (who wouldn't pick up), contacted a friend, explained the situation and asked to sleep over and was told no . I hope each and every person that failed her that night feels unending, tormenting guilt until their dying days. Never lock your children out of their home!
My husband's parents did this to him as a teen. He had to break into his own house multiple times, and thank goodness he knew how to. Just the thought of this parenting choice makes me so angry that I see red. People who do this should be fined for child endangerment.
OH MY GOD!!! What is WRONG with such people?? Locking their children out at night? Putting them at risk for gods know what?? WTH is wrong with these people?
Every one of my kids, and my grandson has had a friend living with us at some point. I don't want to see kids on the street.
moronic ,control freak parents lock their kid out over night. It is abuse.
Locking your child out of the house, great parenting especially when you realize some creep saw your child on the street or waiting on a doorstep so they kidnapped them. I've never understood that "rule". My child's safety comes before any type of punishment
That’s abuse. A logical/natural consequence would be sorry, I can’t trust you to come back when you go out- you won’t be allowed out tomorrow night. Then for the next year, curfew is cut back by one hour and I’m picking you up and dropping you off myself-if you are ever not with whom you are supposed to be at the place You said you would be-I will only allow you out if I check in with your friend’s parents. You give them as much freedom as they can be trusted with, keep them safe, gradually add more freedom. If they are dishonest or unsafe, you pull it back a bit. Not to punish them-to keep them safe and teach them to learn how to make good decisions.
I feel that a year is way too harsh but I totally agree with this idea.
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If that child gets hurt while outside after requesting to come in after curfew, that parent is facing legal consequences for child endangerment. Part of our job is ensuring a safe shelter. Find a better, more instructive way to enforce curfew.
wonder if the parents will still feel so entitled once their kid gets raped, kidnapped, or shanked in the middle of the night :/ some places can be dangerous at night!
I live in an extremely safe place (gated community, 24hs security guard, cameras everywhere) BUT despite that I would NEVER leave my niece outside. She is too young (she is 10) but when she turns 15 and stars going out at night I plan to give the guards a list with the name of her friends and ask them to always call me if they show up needing something.
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I agree totally. My dad when I was a teenager tried locking me out the house and told me to stay where I was at. My mom got outraged and told him off. So she gave me an extra set of keys of course. Love my momma.
That's a horrible thing to do to your child! Especially with all the weirdos out there who might take them!
I agree too. There is a fine line between disciplining your kids and over disciplining them.
True story..a young teenage girl missed curfew and her parents locked her out. Do you remember the Barbie and Ken murders in Canada committed by Paul Bernardo and his wife? That young girl was their first victim. They found her
Ask leslie mahaffey about this stellar parenting technique. Oh wait.
Can't imagine this. These are your children. We were told if you can't make curfew call let us know so they wouldn't worry. Back then we didn't even have cell phones you had to ask to use the house phone or find a payphone. We've told our kids this too. Sometimes things come up. What if they were ill, couldn't get a ride, car had a flat, locking them out isn't even giving the opportunity to explain.
100% apparently unlike the parents that do this I will sleep much better knowing my child is safe at home and not wandering the streets at night, deal with the consequences in the morning.
And then there's my parents, who simply forgot when one of us (5 children) was out at a birthday party or sth., and locked the door and turned off the bell for the night. Thank god one of us always had a window you could throw sth. at to get our attention - this was before mobile phones, obviously. My parents always were sorry, but it was a big house, and especially as teenagers on the weekend they sometimes didn't know if we had even left our room that day.
What the heck?! I've never heard of that and I have four kids, three of whom are adults now. Worst parenting idea ever
This happened in Ontario years ago and the teenager was attacked, raped and killed. Her killer is in prison for multiple rapes and murders.
Just google “Leslie Mahaffy” as one example to reiterate why this is a bad idea.
When I drop my daughter friends off at home, I make sure they actually get in the house before I drive off.
I had a very aggressive father and a very passive mother. I had a ridiculously early curfew even at 18(10pm). I was constantly being locked out of my house for missing curfew. We lived off of a very busy avenue and so many men would stop and proposition me and bother me. My father would yell at me through the window and tell me I deserved whatever happened to me for missing curfew and waking him up. The thing is,I had a housekey so they could lock the door but I didn't have a key for the deadbolt which is what my father would lock. I eventually went no contact with my father because of all the trauma he inflicted upon me in childhood.
Was it the 80s? 'Tough love's was unfortunately pretty popular at the time.
Isn't the whole point of curfew, protecting the kids from staying out too late due to danger? Locking them out is unacceptable. Seems some parents have their intentions all messed up... instead of protection from the night dangers their goal is dominance over their kids which is disgusting...
I've heard about so many teens getting forcibly unalived because they were locked out and someone saw an opportunity
Any one remember the murder of Leslie Mahaffy...Canadian murder victim of killers Paul Bernardo and Karla Homolka... she was locked out apparently
My mom was a horrible parent for 99% of my teens. This was one of the rules I think was smart. The rule was that if I was going to be late, just stay where I am. I would get in trouble for not making curfew, but we all know many teens are discovering things like alcohol. My mom was afraid that if I was coming home late, it could be because I had a few drinks or something like that and lost track of time. She didn't approve of drinking (actually she didn't approve of ANYTHING), but she didn't want anyone dead either.
I was unaware this was a thing. Where are the kids' keys? Is this legal? What???
Stupidity at its finest. This is so incredibly dangerous! Don’t these idiots realize that?
I never had a curfew. I raised mine the same way. I'd ask what they thought they were going to be doing, where they thought they were going to be, with who, and what they thought was a reasonable time.to be home. It allowed for open and honest relationships, and we would agree on a time. If they were going to be late, they knew they could call. If the situation went south, theyd text a code to us and we would call,, make a ridiculous accusation and come get them. Our kids were late once for curfew by ten minutes and apologized. It never happened again
To me, locking your kid out for missing curfew is 100% neglect and abuse.
So, let me understand: they place a corfew, impossed for the kids to be home at a safe time, but if they miss it, they are place in the danger of spending the night out with the wolves? Very wise indeed...
My children are adults now and they have NEVER been locked out of our home. They know that no matter what they do this will ALWAYS be welcome here.
My husband slept in the car a few times for missing curfew. He always woke up those who had to get to work at gawdawful in the morning. I wouldn't do that, but I guess I understand the reasoning. I also think it was different in the 80s. One of my kids friends would have their curfew randomly changed while they were out. The parent would call them and say *I changed curfew because I felt like it, and now you're late. Don't come home. Eventually, the kid moved in with our family.
This one doesn’t make sense. Curfews are usually in place to protect teens. How is not letting them come home at night protecting them? Might as well NOT have a curfew…
That was my dad's rule (I was a teen in the 70's). One night I missed curfew so I climbed to the roof (single floor ranch style) to sleep for the night. We lived at China Lake Naval Weapons Center in the middle of the Mohave desert and it can get really cold at night so that was my first (and only) time using newspapers as a blanket to retain heat (it works but not particularly well). I was 17 so I just accepted this as a consequence of missing curfew but (this is the cool part) as I'm laying on the roof looking out at the incredible number of stars when suddenly I saw a meteorite burning up in the atmosphere and for a brief moment, the whole sky was bright enough to actually cast shadows and I could hear the crackling and pooping noises as it streaked across the sky. It didn't appear to make it to the ground but it was an incredible experience that occurred because I was laying on the roof at that moment and I've never seen anything like it over the ensuing 47 years.
A neighbor's daughter, 5-6 yo, was supposed to spend the night, but my daughter got in trouble so no sleep over. Mid afternoon, the girl came over and said her parents had left to go ??? In the days before cell phones so she spent the night. Note: it was customary for parent to walk her to our house, so I could have told them then.
exactly. I don't think the kid should be punished that night cuz theyre tired and already stressed probably. in the morning you can talk abt why they were late then figure out what to do from there
That's harsh. We should all be glad when our children come home, even if they are late, & you've got the s**t's with them because hey your in bed asleep & had to let them in. ( deal with the next day, when your not p---ed off,) Just ask the parent's of children who don't come home & are never found. This is all age thing. It's just the young who can come home late.
Being 'locked out of the house for missing curfew' was a story my mom and her BFF laughed about over wine. As teens they lived in a duplex where their bedrooms opened onto balconies. Apparently, they both had parents whose rule was Be in BEFORE I lock up or BE locked out. Each had saved the other, sealing a life-long friendship.
I never knew anyone did this. I had a key to my house at age 12 and kind of thought everyone did.
Right on point with that one especially if they've called to let you know they're running late and they don't try to give you the same lame a*s excuse that you tried to use as did all fore fathers and mother's before you tried to use different wording same BS
Yeah, and then blame society if the kid gets abducted or worse because they were left stranded outside...
About 20 years ago a mother did that to her 13 or 14 year old daughter, there was serial killer in the area, the mother never saw that daughter again, when she was found she cut in pieces and they were found all over the lake.
My mom was often drunk and chaotic, but her rule was "kids sleep safe". No one of my friends ever had to face a parental "lockout", they were camped out in our living room with me, or upstairs in me and my brother's bedroom. Mom, God bless her, didn't judge, didn't b***h, was, well Mom. Always took everyone's car keys (when we were older). Told everyone that there would be a "discussion" after breakfast. But none of my friends ever slept rough or cold. Mom wouldn't have it. She gave up her bedroom so many times, so our female or girl friends could be safe (from us as much as the weather). And if angry parental units were on the phone, drunk or sober, Mom would put on her senior administration assistant persona and just wither any argument. My Mom could strip the hide off of Godzilla with her tongue, while being so polite and reasonable that argument was unthinkable. A friend and I witnessed her ripping the flesh off of Indiana State Congressman Evan Bayh, and she liked him. I miss her
What the actual Heck? Is this a real thing?? Can't ever imagine locking my kids out of the house??
EXACTLY. Stupidly punitive and authoritarian for the bleak joy of being punitive and authoritatian ... and nothing else .
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Some kids from these families prefer to be locked out and miss curfew. Better to be left alone all night than deal with their sh*
My kids had a not quite a friend (dad was a science teacher at their hs) that could not get picked up after 9:00 pm. We took him home so he wouldn’t have to cross the interstate just outside Milwaukee
When I stayed out too late I slept on the garden swing. Mom was no nonsense, didn't want me waking up the whole house. She also wanted me safe...I got the lecture in the morning. Made me a better mom and person.
Gender reveal parties.
I get that parents-to-be are excited about their new lives and as long as they aren't setting fires or making a huge mess of things, then go for it. Just understand that most people aren't nearly as invested as you are in your future child's sex. This would be the second most boring social event, right behind the baby shower. Only my opinion.
Beauty Pageants. I have no problem with them it's just that the age these parents make their kids enter and the s**t they do to try to win like doping them up on sugar and energy drinks. Using spray tans and makeup on kids that are sometimes 1-2 years old! And in the end they extort their child for little to no monetary gain. I've seen parents neglect their other kids in favor of the pagent queen. And in the end you get a spoiled brat that throws a hissy fit and is disrespectful. But who cares, you spent 15k to win 5k and you're on TLC
So in order to find out more about how being spoiled in childhood may affect your adult life, we spoke with Lynn How, the author of “Positive Young Mind'' and life coach who specializes in supporting educators, parents, and children with improving and prevention of mental health issues. She also runs this Facebook teacher coaching group which is an excellent resource for teachers in need of support when leaving, changing their mindset, changing their schools or setting healthy work/life boundaries.
“Do you know anyone who has trouble keeping their emotions in check when they don’t get their own way?” Lynn said and added that it may be that they were spoilt as a child and this hasn’t done them any favors as they move into their adult life.
"Boys will be boys".
this should be used when boys are doing something like putting hot dogs on the slide, not for s3xual h@rassment (edit: ty all SO MUCH for the upvotes!!!)
Unschooling. I agree that kids should have some sort of say in what they learn - if your kid is really interested in, say, bugs, then by god you take them to every bug museum you can find and buy them all the bug books - BUT kids should have a basic curriculum whether they're interested in it or not. I get that most kids don't like math, or history, or the "boring" classes, but I strongly disagree with the unschooling attitude of "my kid does not want to learn it, so I won't make them."
Parents never telling their children "no" and refusing to set any boundaries.
I get empowering children by giving them a voice in decision-making and the freedom to speak their minds, but general social norms would be nice.
Listening to 8 year olds throw fits in public and being rude to family and strangers (at top volume) is not endearing in any way.
“These children may turn into adults who show less resilience when things go wrong and they may give up easily when things aren’t working out. Also, they want it all and they want it now whereas most adults can tolerate delayed gratification,” she explained.
Videoing kids at their worst moments and then posting it on social media.
A very distant relative of mine has a YouTube channel with her unschooled kids, and they’re always crying in the back or telling her to stop the camera and it’s just insane that she still posts it
Taking youth sports too seriously.
I helped with and attended games for years, and can count on one hand the number of times I saw a child lose their temper. Parents lost it all the time. More than once I've seen a parent have to be physically restrained.
Ear piercing babies. That pisses me off. Let them decide. Don't put your vanity onto your baby. ESPECIALLY with piercing guns.
Had my ears pierced as a baby. Now I have 6 in one ear, 4 in the other (including a Daith piercing). And tattoos. Hehe, maybe I can blame it on not having a choice when I was a kid. The rest were my choice and my decision.
Moreover, “other traits that they may display include a lack of independence as their problems were generally solved for them, an inability to take criticism as nothing they did badly would invoke the appropriate feedback and the idea that everything should just come to them easily without too much work.”
“This last point is also coupled with a huge sense of disappointment when it doesn’t work out. All in all, this doesn’t set a child up to have positive relationships or good mental health as an adult.”
Making a kid finish their plate.
Also, keep in mind serving size for a 5yo should be much smaller than a teenager or adult. If it doesn't satisfy, let them have a bit more, but never force food on kids.
taking the door off their room. i have neverrrrr understood this
Family vloggers. Growing up in front of a camera can be so damaging for a child. Don't even get me started on the child labour it is - using young kids to earn money isn't good parenting in my opinion.
Ryan's toy review. I remember the first time seeing it after my daughter told me about it. I had to explain to her that not everyone gets to go on vacation every month. Now I see that kid and he looks tired and miserable.
There are many different challenges a spoiled child is likely to face while growing up. “A lack of appropriate boundaries can be very confusing for a child and although on the outside, these children can seem argumentative and rude, this stems from a lack of self-confidence on the inside as they have not been given these tools,” Lynn explained.
“Once their safety blanket of the parents spoiling them has been removed, coping on their own would bring on anxiety which could manifest itself as a tantrum,” she added.
I think those parents who impose a raw vegan diet on their young kids - there is no way that a child can sustain itself on a raw vegan diet - you'd need to be constantly eating to get the necessary calories.
Vegetables and fruit are very high in fibre - both soluble and non-soluble - so you can be very full from relatively few calories compared with even a high-protein diet.
Vegan can be a struggle if the parent doesn't do the research. And a raw diet can be done as an adult, but it would still be difficult.
A raw vegan diet for a young child is basically child abuse.
Ohhhhh gaaaawd; a vegan parent; Dont force your kids to eat a sh1tty vegan diet
Modern day: Parents assuming that once a child hits school age that it's the schools responsibility to raise them. These same parents then get angry when their child is punished by the school.
See this FAR too often.
One of my best friends is an English teacher to 7-9th graders and..THIS. she doesn't get emails or calls from parents on how to help their kids learn. She gets angry emails about a child getting zeros on grades for not turning in homework. Emails stating "that was obviously A level work, all their other teachers gave them an A". In spelling and grammar there is only one correct way, there is rarely room for interpretation! After ten years of teaching she is rethinking her career choice. Not because of the children, because of the parents. She can't discipline a student who threw a desk at her twice. It's definitely a modern thing, my mom would have dragged me out of principal's office by my ear. This child's parent said she "misunderstood his actions".
Coddling sons while holding daughters to higher standards.
Moreover, Lynn argues that “often these children will have friendship issues as they find it challenging to let others have their own way and they may find it difficult to form positive relationships with other adults such as teachers due to difficulty with conformity.” She concluded that overall this adds up to a childhood that is more challenging than it needs to be.
Posting intimate pics of your kid all over social media.
Now, I have no issue with parents sharing adorable baby pics. Hell, I don't mind you guys sharing a lot of them. When you go through hell and back to carry, birth, and raise the kid, you get a pass on the social media sharing, somewhat.
HOWEVER, sharing pics of your kid in the bathtub and doing bodily functions is not okay. 1) It's gross. I don't think your kid's blowout diaper or "first poopy in the toilet" is funny or cute. I don't want that on my timeline. 2) Pedos are out there, be careful. 3) I know it's hard to imagine, but little Peighsyn is gonna be a big boy someday. In fact, he may even be on social media in the future. His friends (AND EMPLOYERS) are gonna see those gross vomit and poop pics. Not a good idea.
My sister in law keeps posting pictures of her daughters doing everyday kid activities, but what shocks me most are the comments. Every day there is at least one person commenting “wow so sexy” or other version of “sexy” on a picture where her daughters pose for the camera. It’s usually her female friends commenting and she replies things like “aww thank you” or such. Who the hell thinks a 5 year old is sexy? And what mother isn’t alarmed by such comments??
Maybe not the worst, but my parents forced me to play competitive sports for years when I clearly hated it and I'm still a little bitter. I was horrible at soccer, they even offered me 10 bucks for every goal I scored but I still couldn't do it. As an adult I still shudder a little every time I drive by a baseball field, thinking about how much time I wasted there and the embarrassment of sucking at something and getting laughed at by the other kids. This isn't to say I wasn't an athletic kid, I loved skating, riding bikes, hiking and all that. Parents - if your kid isn't good at a sport, doesn't have any interest in it and obviously has no talent for it, please don't make them do it.
My dad and his wife did this with their sons. I kid you not, they were forced to quit hockey and soccer due to damaged knees, shoulders and backs when they were in their teens.
Not giving kids privacy or personal space. I have teenagers and unless they give me a reason not to trust them, I don’t rummage around in their rooms or secretly read their texts.
I don't violate my kids personal space. Well they are adults now but still didn't do it while they were younger, but I also don't violate my wife's personal space either. I really dislike hearing people talking about going through their kids and spouses phones, wallets and other things, these people lack boundaries.
Not dressing your kids like kids.
Also raising your kids on YouTube/Instagram/TikTok before they're old enough to decide how much privacy they want in their lives.
Shielding their kid from failure. There are so many people now that are afraid of failing, so much so, that they don't even attempt something new if they have a hint that they may fail at it.
If a kid can't learn how to cope with failure, they turn into an adult man-child, who falsely claims that they had an election stolen from them!
Not saying a word about sexuality and shielding children from any sort of affection on tv or in real life.
I can't stress enough how much this has contributed to my intense shame whenever I masturbate and my inability to be intimate. Of course this is a compounded issue for me personally but such a censored childhood was the backbone for all of this pain.
Additionally....using "pet names" for your child's anatomy/genitals and not understanding why this is problematic/dangerous. If your child tells the teacher that uncle Tom licked their "cookie"....the teacher may not understand the SIGNIFICANCE of this confession. Teach kids the proper words for parts of their body.
Taking your kids to the pub with you on a weekend.
I'm not talking an afternoon lunch with a glass of wine or two. I'm talking about kids being left to run amok in car parks and on pavements while parents sit inside and have a drink.
Look after your f**king kids.
People having their kids stay up with them until the wee hours of the morning. By 11pm they are cranky, fussy, and clearly tired.
Put. Your. Kids. To. Bed.
Why would you even do that? It was hard for my parents to put me to bed. Sleep is really important, especially at this young age.
Pushing your kids to bring home flawless reports. Had a friend my sophomore year of highschool (straight A student, extra curricular stuff) with strict parents obviously living vicariously through her- who blew her head off with her dad's shotgun sitting at the kitchen table because it was near finals week, her grades were plummeting and the only boyfriend she's ever had had just broken up with her 3 days prior. I'd like to introduce a new parenting trend; Talking to your kids, listening and understanding.
Ugh, my parents had unrealistic expectations for me like the friend mentioned. I almost took my life plenty of times. I even would contemplate suicide when I didn't make my parents look perfect.
Not knocking “because what if the kid is secretly running a highly illegal business in there” Like please, knock. It will save you and your kids from discomfort.
Illegal business? What, do they think their teenager is running a drug ring from their bedroom?
Taking your kid's side when he's being an a****le to strangers. DO your job and educate your kid so I don't have to punch him in the face.
Publicly shaming your kids. If you do that s**t you are an as****le and a disgusting human being.
*If you do that s**t ON PURPOSE you are an as****le. If your kids do something incredibly stupid (like run in front of a moving car, or something like that) then go for it, they deserve it.
Never listening to your child. The whole children need to be seen and not heard schtick, f**ked up my social skills a whole lot with my parents and people.
Same. I was raised to be compliant and always caring about what other people think. Likely why I feel the need to comment on social media on a daily basis. .... sorry for my constant ramblings.
My aunt and uncle are and have been huge supporters of the "if you just give them a video game then they'll be quiet forever" so my 6-year old cousin has absolutely no social skills and is a difficult, struggling first grader but is alright at playing Angry Birds and Minecraft.
Tossing a phone to a kid any time there is a wait. I get the desire to keep busy while waiting but we don't learn patience without practice
Wanting to be "friends" with their kids. It really pisses me off. Parents that won't challenge, question or correct poor behaviour.
I've got three boys to raise and my attitude has always been - I'm your dad. I'm not your friend. I have friends you have friends. We can be friends when you're old enough to buy me a beer and I've done the sort of parenting that means I want to have a beer with you.
I don't know, my parents were our friends and still disciplined us. There's a middle ground between the two situations described here. I don't like parents like OP.
Non-parenting. That is, when people have kids but let their kids run wild with zero effort put into actually raising them into functional members of society.
Homeschooling. Frequently it just means non-schooling. Either the parent in question does not have the ability to teach, due to lack of education on their own part, has no intention of teaching with it all just falling back into non-parenting, or it's a deliberate attempt by fundies to keep their kids from getting an education. There are few exceptions.
Homeschooling, when done right, is amazing. I was brought up homeschooled and I'm in a much better place academically than I would have been had I grown up in public school. Unschooling is the problem, as well as parents who want to homeschool but don't take responsibility for their children's education.
Infant circumcision. Sorry but unneeded cosmetic surgery performed on non consenting minors is just stupid, useless, and illogical.
My first son (34) is uncircumcised however my second son (16)had to be at 3 due to constant infections and pain. Don’t criticise.
Note: this post originally had 73 images. It’s been shortened to the top 40 images based on user votes.
My takeaway…. If you have kids, you’re doing it wrong. Sincerely, the internet. Trust me most parents worry enough that we are or have messed up our kids. Parenting is a LOT of trial and error as well as hoping you got the balancing act down enough that your kids will be ok adults.
That's exactly what I was thinking. A lot of people criticising parents up there probably don't have kids yet, and that's why the little empathy and so much judgement.
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Parenting is hard. Really hard. I have been so incredibly fortunate to be able to be a mom (I have one son), but I know I've made lots of mistakes, and I'm still learning. I think if you're open to learning, love them, keep them safe, support them throughout the ups and downs, teach them to be kind and honest...well that goes a long way. I don't know why I'm blathering on here...I need more coffee.
There's nothing so humbling as having an extremely judgemental opinion of parenting and then having reality handed to you when you have one of your own. Or at least it was like that for me lol.
Haha yes! I thought I will be amazing at parenting having like 20+ nieces and nephews around all the time.. now I have 2 and wonder if I will ever know what I'm doing:/
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I get the ones concerning actual safety but elf on a shelf and unique names? Mind your business lol the elf isn’t hurting anyone and biblical names aren’t popular times change. If they didn’t we’d all still be named Ebenezer and Agnes.
Haha just wait until Ebenezer makes a comeback. Ngl I kind of like it.
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The parenting trend that's really horrible is that parents (like everyone else) work such insanely long hours that they don't actually have time to parent, and are too exhausted to parent by the time they do finally see their kids. You can't raise functional human beings that way.
My god posts like this drive me crazy. READ THE ASSIGNMENT. I wonder if these people failed all their tests in school as well. To clarify, the assignment was "What Is The Worst Parenting Trend To Date". Not "name things that bug you about kids". Examples above like "boys will be boys" is NOT a current "trend", it is an age-old mindset, if anything the trend is to STOP putting up with that philosophy. And "kids have no manners these days"?? Really? There are quotes from Socrates saying that close to 2,500 years ago, and every generation since then has complained about "kids these days". Antivaxxers? Yeah, that's a new trend. Helicopter parents? Yeah that's a new trend. But most of these are BS
I know this may be very unpopular, but I think it's disturbing when parents allow or even encourage underage (ie, under 18) kids to get surgery that will permanently alter their appearance in some way. I saw this happen when I worked in the modeling industry often. 14 year olds getting nose jobs or other plastic surgery.
i think a single piercing on each ear is ok after they are old enough because they don't dramatically change their boddies and they can grow over
Load More Replies... Using filters on kids photos when sharing on social media. What is wrong with how your kids look naturally?
Lots of parents don't want to actually parent their children, and shouldn't have been parents in the first place.
Not bringing something to keep your young child entertained. I know you need to repaint the bedroom, but your 2-year-old doesn't want to sit in a buggy quietly while you stare at samples for three hours. Or sit in a restaurant booth doing nothing while you ignore them. My parents always had books, a small toy, some crayons, something to keep me occupied when I was little, or at the very least they would TALK to me, they would engage me so I wasn't bored and pitching a fit.
My parents engaged with us. We were a family. They weren’t a couple with kids along.
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I have one to add to this list. Don't tell your kid to not cry. My mom did this with me ever since I was 4, and wondered why I had such severe anger issues a few years later.
So much this! My dad (wanker) told me "Only babies cry," and I was always punished for being upset or emotional by him and other adults around me. I still can't handle anger properly because I was never taught how to.
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The year our oldest was born we spent the night at my parent's house on Christmas Eve. She was 6 months old and you'll never guess who kept opening the door, locked even, to make sure that her parents knew what they were doing after 6 months. Forty year old parents, mind you. If you guessed my mother you would be correct. She did that s**t all the time while I was growing up and when I came home from college. She was stifling and I was extremely sheltered. You bet your a*s I knock on our daughters' door. I even wait for an answer when I hear giggling and know they're up to something "naughty." They're 5 and 2 so their naughty is still something we can cover with paint or the dolls stay bald.
My mom won't get the covid vax, bothers the c**p out of me. I'm 14 so not much I can do. A past teacher of ours son's dies right after he got the vaccine. Its the vaccine that caused it. He was very young. I'm not sure if I recall correctly but I think it was a heart attack. He could have led an unhealthy lifestyle. She thinks fake since vaccines like the small pox took years. Its 2022 things are more advanced. I haven't talked to her yet about getting the vaccine. Do you think I should? Byw I have several other vaccine just the covid one.
Parents: please don’t invade your kids’ (especially teens’) privacy. It’s seriously detrimental to trust and doesn’t contribute much to the relationship. Unless you’re willing to trade love for personal knowledge, don’t snoop. Just stay out of our stuff. Please.
I think those goodie bags after a birthday could be gone. What are they for anyway? Is it a reward for attending the birthday? Same with why inviting the whole class when the kid is not even friends with all of them? Dont go over the top. Let the kid choose who to invite, the best friends, go bowling, bake the favorite cake, order pizza, kids are usually easy to please when it comes to their special day.
Dear Parents - some girls are just tomboys. Don't freak out and drag us off to a counselor (or doctor, or therapist, or gender program, et...) There is nothing wrong with us - we just like to hunt/fish/play sports/work on cars, et... It's OK. We are not all born to be Disney Princesses.
Astounded that they don't have "bully" on this list. Growing up, my folks made it routine to be my bullies because it was fun for them! Get a boyfriend? A crush? Bad grades? Constant teasing and harassment. Then they wonder why I don't visit them after all these years...
So many of these, non parenting ones, are done by someone I know with her son. I fear for him.
I was a single mom. I raised 4 kids alone that are now 24-31 years old. They are all educated, mature, responsible and functioning adults. My key was balance. Don’t be lazy, it’s hard work and a full time job but also have your own personal boundaries that they know and understand. A healthy fear of your parents is not a bad thing. It’s strong motivation to do the right thing but not so much that it’s abuse. My kids could tell me anything and often told me more than I wanted to know but we have always had healthy relationships. I respect their boundaries and they respect mine. Balance, consistency, say no and let them lose occasionally. It builds strong adults.
I don't even know why I'm here. Don't have kids. Don't want them. Life is so much simpler. Thank you!
Screentime, forcing kids to talk to strangers/people, not believing their kids when they think/know they have any kind of disorder/etc, no privacy, abusive parents, I have a whole lot. I know out of experience
Stop filming everything they do for social media. I don't want to see your child having a poo !!
Also, forcing religion on your kids is a great way to end up with at least one bitter anti-theist adult offspring who make it their life’s mission to let everyone know that you failed as a parent. JS
Most of these were excellent in their comments. A lot of parents today DO NOT PARENT. That is sad that other people have to put up with ill mannered, and sometimes dangerous, children.
How are any of these trends? They span the generations, except maybe the gender reveals
by no means a perfect parent, we try and do our best. Try to teach them to be polite (goes a long way) basics to take care of themselves (cooking, laundry etc) and help when ever I can without doing it for them. So far working out ok :)
Lol. How about keep your nose out of people's business. Parenting is hard. Shut up and stop thinking you're the center of the universe and that you can tell people how to live their lives or how to treat their children. Yes. Some of those are true, without any doubt.. But the rest.. Just mind your own business and stop thinking you're the best parent in the world because you do it differently that the others.
You and your Single kid 24/7/365! Until 1st grade comes around and kid doesn't know what to Do and goes to preschool.
Love to see a bunch of people who feel entitled to parent other people's children act like the kids are being entitled just for being kids. Kids aren't good at listening, kids don't always remember social rules, that doesn't make them bad kids nor does it make their parents bad parents. While it's frustrating to encounter kids doing frustrating things, you aren't entitled to go off on them or treat them badly simply because they're children and you think it your responsibility to teach them some pedantic lesson.
'Gentle' parenting. Stupidest thing I've ever heard. As stupid as not getting your kids vaccinated.
What bothers me is all the people trying to tell me COVID vaccines are good for my baby, don't pierce her ears it's wrong, and don't circumcise my son, are the same people voting for young kids to take hormone blockers and cutting healthy breasts of young girls, like gtfoh 2 tiny holes and no flap of skin to worry about cleaning properly your hole life is way better then never being able to breast feed a future child if you decide to detransition in the future cause parents/teachers/doctors pushed it on you when you were young and couldn't fully comprehend what it truly mean to change genders. God forbid my daughter is anything like me and becomes the biggest tomboy, everyone's going to try to turn her into a boy, for something that's completely normal. Smh this world is going downhill fast. And it's so sad people are stuck on this woke agenda I don't mind the LGBTQ+ but don't shove it down our kids throats prek, kindergarten and up don't need to learn about that. Or remembering pronou
'Gentle parenting', kids need firm discipline, rules and strict boundaries.
My takeaway…. If you have kids, you’re doing it wrong. Sincerely, the internet. Trust me most parents worry enough that we are or have messed up our kids. Parenting is a LOT of trial and error as well as hoping you got the balancing act down enough that your kids will be ok adults.
That's exactly what I was thinking. A lot of people criticising parents up there probably don't have kids yet, and that's why the little empathy and so much judgement.
Load More Replies... Parenting is hard. Really hard. I have been so incredibly fortunate to be able to be a mom (I have one son), but I know I've made lots of mistakes, and I'm still learning. I think if you're open to learning, love them, keep them safe, support them throughout the ups and downs, teach them to be kind and honest...well that goes a long way. I don't know why I'm blathering on here...I need more coffee.
There's nothing so humbling as having an extremely judgemental opinion of parenting and then having reality handed to you when you have one of your own. Or at least it was like that for me lol.
Haha yes! I thought I will be amazing at parenting having like 20+ nieces and nephews around all the time.. now I have 2 and wonder if I will ever know what I'm doing:/
Load More Replies... I get the ones concerning actual safety but elf on a shelf and unique names? Mind your business lol the elf isn’t hurting anyone and biblical names aren’t popular times change. If they didn’t we’d all still be named Ebenezer and Agnes.
Haha just wait until Ebenezer makes a comeback. Ngl I kind of like it.
Load More Replies... The parenting trend that's really horrible is that parents (like everyone else) work such insanely long hours that they don't actually have time to parent, and are too exhausted to parent by the time they do finally see their kids. You can't raise functional human beings that way.
My god posts like this drive me crazy. READ THE ASSIGNMENT. I wonder if these people failed all their tests in school as well. To clarify, the assignment was "What Is The Worst Parenting Trend To Date". Not "name things that bug you about kids". Examples above like "boys will be boys" is NOT a current "trend", it is an age-old mindset, if anything the trend is to STOP putting up with that philosophy. And "kids have no manners these days"?? Really? There are quotes from Socrates saying that close to 2,500 years ago, and every generation since then has complained about "kids these days". Antivaxxers? Yeah, that's a new trend. Helicopter parents? Yeah that's a new trend. But most of these are BS
I know this may be very unpopular, but I think it's disturbing when parents allow or even encourage underage (ie, under 18) kids to get surgery that will permanently alter their appearance in some way. I saw this happen when I worked in the modeling industry often. 14 year olds getting nose jobs or other plastic surgery.
i think a single piercing on each ear is ok after they are old enough because they don't dramatically change their boddies and they can grow over
Load More Replies... Using filters on kids photos when sharing on social media. What is wrong with how your kids look naturally?
Lots of parents don't want to actually parent their children, and shouldn't have been parents in the first place.
Not bringing something to keep your young child entertained. I know you need to repaint the bedroom, but your 2-year-old doesn't want to sit in a buggy quietly while you stare at samples for three hours. Or sit in a restaurant booth doing nothing while you ignore them. My parents always had books, a small toy, some crayons, something to keep me occupied when I was little, or at the very least they would TALK to me, they would engage me so I wasn't bored and pitching a fit.
My parents engaged with us. We were a family. They weren’t a couple with kids along.
Load More Replies... I have one to add to this list. Don't tell your kid to not cry. My mom did this with me ever since I was 4, and wondered why I had such severe anger issues a few years later.
So much this! My dad (wanker) told me "Only babies cry," and I was always punished for being upset or emotional by him and other adults around me. I still can't handle anger properly because I was never taught how to.
Load More Replies... The year our oldest was born we spent the night at my parent's house on Christmas Eve. She was 6 months old and you'll never guess who kept opening the door, locked even, to make sure that her parents knew what they were doing after 6 months. Forty year old parents, mind you. If you guessed my mother you would be correct. She did that s**t all the time while I was growing up and when I came home from college. She was stifling and I was extremely sheltered. You bet your a*s I knock on our daughters' door. I even wait for an answer when I hear giggling and know they're up to something "naughty." They're 5 and 2 so their naughty is still something we can cover with paint or the dolls stay bald.
My mom won't get the covid vax, bothers the c**p out of me. I'm 14 so not much I can do. A past teacher of ours son's dies right after he got the vaccine. Its the vaccine that caused it. He was very young. I'm not sure if I recall correctly but I think it was a heart attack. He could have led an unhealthy lifestyle. She thinks fake since vaccines like the small pox took years. Its 2022 things are more advanced. I haven't talked to her yet about getting the vaccine. Do you think I should? Byw I have several other vaccine just the covid one.
Parents: please don’t invade your kids’ (especially teens’) privacy. It’s seriously detrimental to trust and doesn’t contribute much to the relationship. Unless you’re willing to trade love for personal knowledge, don’t snoop. Just stay out of our stuff. Please.
I think those goodie bags after a birthday could be gone. What are they for anyway? Is it a reward for attending the birthday? Same with why inviting the whole class when the kid is not even friends with all of them? Dont go over the top. Let the kid choose who to invite, the best friends, go bowling, bake the favorite cake, order pizza, kids are usually easy to please when it comes to their special day.
Dear Parents - some girls are just tomboys. Don't freak out and drag us off to a counselor (or doctor, or therapist, or gender program, et...) There is nothing wrong with us - we just like to hunt/fish/play sports/work on cars, et... It's OK. We are not all born to be Disney Princesses.
Astounded that they don't have "bully" on this list. Growing up, my folks made it routine to be my bullies because it was fun for them! Get a boyfriend? A crush? Bad grades? Constant teasing and harassment. Then they wonder why I don't visit them after all these years...
So many of these, non parenting ones, are done by someone I know with her son. I fear for him.
I was a single mom. I raised 4 kids alone that are now 24-31 years old. They are all educated, mature, responsible and functioning adults. My key was balance. Don’t be lazy, it’s hard work and a full time job but also have your own personal boundaries that they know and understand. A healthy fear of your parents is not a bad thing. It’s strong motivation to do the right thing but not so much that it’s abuse. My kids could tell me anything and often told me more than I wanted to know but we have always had healthy relationships. I respect their boundaries and they respect mine. Balance, consistency, say no and let them lose occasionally. It builds strong adults.
I don't even know why I'm here. Don't have kids. Don't want them. Life is so much simpler. Thank you!
Screentime, forcing kids to talk to strangers/people, not believing their kids when they think/know they have any kind of disorder/etc, no privacy, abusive parents, I have a whole lot. I know out of experience
Stop filming everything they do for social media. I don't want to see your child having a poo !!
Also, forcing religion on your kids is a great way to end up with at least one bitter anti-theist adult offspring who make it their life’s mission to let everyone know that you failed as a parent. JS
Most of these were excellent in their comments. A lot of parents today DO NOT PARENT. That is sad that other people have to put up with ill mannered, and sometimes dangerous, children.
How are any of these trends? They span the generations, except maybe the gender reveals
by no means a perfect parent, we try and do our best. Try to teach them to be polite (goes a long way) basics to take care of themselves (cooking, laundry etc) and help when ever I can without doing it for them. So far working out ok :)
Lol. How about keep your nose out of people's business. Parenting is hard. Shut up and stop thinking you're the center of the universe and that you can tell people how to live their lives or how to treat their children. Yes. Some of those are true, without any doubt.. But the rest.. Just mind your own business and stop thinking you're the best parent in the world because you do it differently that the others.
You and your Single kid 24/7/365! Until 1st grade comes around and kid doesn't know what to Do and goes to preschool.
Love to see a bunch of people who feel entitled to parent other people's children act like the kids are being entitled just for being kids. Kids aren't good at listening, kids don't always remember social rules, that doesn't make them bad kids nor does it make their parents bad parents. While it's frustrating to encounter kids doing frustrating things, you aren't entitled to go off on them or treat them badly simply because they're children and you think it your responsibility to teach them some pedantic lesson.
'Gentle' parenting. Stupidest thing I've ever heard. As stupid as not getting your kids vaccinated.
What bothers me is all the people trying to tell me COVID vaccines are good for my baby, don't pierce her ears it's wrong, and don't circumcise my son, are the same people voting for young kids to take hormone blockers and cutting healthy breasts of young girls, like gtfoh 2 tiny holes and no flap of skin to worry about cleaning properly your hole life is way better then never being able to breast feed a future child if you decide to detransition in the future cause parents/teachers/doctors pushed it on you when you were young and couldn't fully comprehend what it truly mean to change genders. God forbid my daughter is anything like me and becomes the biggest tomboy, everyone's going to try to turn her into a boy, for something that's completely normal. Smh this world is going downhill fast. And it's so sad people are stuck on this woke agenda I don't mind the LGBTQ+ but don't shove it down our kids throats prek, kindergarten and up don't need to learn about that. Or remembering pronou
'Gentle parenting', kids need firm discipline, rules and strict boundaries.
