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Someone Asks “What Is The Worst Parenting Trend To Date?” And People Give 40 Perfectly Blunt Answers
I hope that everyone agrees that not vaccinating your child is an ill way of parenting. Other parenting trends like letting kids do whatever they want and run amok like there’s no tomorrow are also questionable. But the subject matter is delicate, since we also like to believe that for the most part, parents know what’s best for their kids. Or do they?
Well, these two threads from Ask Reddit will shed some light on common parenting styles that are not necessarily healthy. In fact, people claim they’re everything but. “What is the worst parenting trend to date?” someone asked a while ago, and just recently a similar question popped up: "What parenting 'trend' do you strongly disagree with?"
Below we selected some thought-provoking arguments people shared in response to the questions. Also, let us know what parenting trend you don’t agree with in the comments below!
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Y'all need to cut this anti-vaccination s**t out like right now. Vaccines save lives.
This deserves it's place on top of the list. With the other things you'll have rude and uneducated kids that become entitled adults, but at least they get to become adults.
There are as many parenting styles as there are parents, and there’s no universal recipe on how to raise your children. But because the current generation faces unprecedented challenges, it also requires tact and special behavior from parents to be able to keep up with the changing times and the increased demands of parenting and child-rearing.
when ppl posts videos online of them punishing their kids. ex: “dad shaves girls head for txting boyfriend.” what in the sick hell kinda sh*t is that? and nobody seems to have a problem with that or thinks about how incredibly traumatic it’s going to be for that child. and the parents who do this literally make me sick. who is that for even? what are you trying to prove by humiliating your child in front of possibly thousands of ppl or more. ppl like this deserve to have their kids taken away. sorry not sorry.
Not teaching manners with other people's pets. You want to pat my dog you f**king ASK, then you introduce yourself to her (back of your hand to sniff), THEN you may pat her. DO NOT harass her. My dog is a sweetheart but she is an animal and she is at exactly the right height to bite your little darlings face off and then its my fault and my dog dies because you couldnt teach your brat some manners.
This should be so much higher. I have kids. I have dogs. One of my dogs LOVES kids. Loves being ridden like a horse (120lb german shepherd) and having small children climbing all over him. The other one is terrified of kids, luckily he has a very mean bark and isn't confrontational. He puffs himself up, barks as loud as he can and retreats backwards while barking. It's enough to scare them off. It's the parents not the kids or my dog. *EDIT* hey look it's number 2 now 😁
The coronavirus pandemic and political turmoil and war we see in Europe right now, as well as the inflation reaching sky highs all bring their own kind of uncertainty. For this reason, many parents are reevaluating the common parenting tactics previous generations took for granted.
Communicating trauma and being open about difficulties is one such new trend we see among parents. Another new style emerging is that more and more parents choose to provide their kids with experiences instead of material gifts. This is how you create memorable experiences and establish a better bond with your kid.
Not teaching basic manners and giving them a ridiculous sense of entitlement.
Yes! That kid is your diamond, great! He/she is a pain in my butt. I do not live your diamond.
Shielding children from the natural consequences of their actions. They don't learn from their mistakes and the consequence price tags are so much higher when they become adults.
How I was taught and how I taught my daughter. Do not be afraid from making mistakes, just make sure you learn from the experience in not repeating them.
I hate when parents get mad at me for telling off their kids. I work in hospitality and we have a bowl of mints at the bar with tongs to grab them out. One night these three kids, all under age 10 but old enough to know better, just started diving their hands into the bowl. I told them politely to use the tongs, then I told them off when they ignored my request. The parents got mad at me instead of their kids, even though their kids just made me throw out a whole bowl of mints. If you're incapable of disciplining your child properly, don't get upset when someone else does it for you.
YES. It takes a village to raise a child and parents should expect that village will need to reprimand your kid once in a while.
But no matter what new trends emerge in parenting, one very common flaw will probably outlive them all. And you guessed it… it’s spoiling kids. In fact, over half this survey of 1,125 parents with kids between 4 and 10 confessed that they spoil their children too much. Another 2 in 5 go even further, saying they’re sometimes “embarrassed by how selfish their child acts.”
Spoiled kids don’t get to know and feel what it is like to be grateful, as gratitude is not something that children acquire automatically. It needs to be nurtured, in an age-appropriate way, but the more they get used to getting their way easily, the harder it is to turn them around.
Parent of teens here! All of my kids have had a friend that stayed the night at our house because the friend missed curfew at home and wasn't allowed in the house. I don't get it. Punishing the kid for missing curfew is totally acceptable. But not letting them in their own house in the middle of the night? What good can possibly come from that? My own kids rarely missed their curfew but when they did, they knew that they could come home, to a safe place, and face the consequences the next day.
I agree with this 1000%. I woke up one morning and saw the neighbor's kid asleep on the porch. When I went to see if he was OK, he told me he missed curfew and was locked out for the night. That is so horrible!
Gender reveal parties.
I get that parents-to-be are excited about their new lives and as long as they aren't setting fires or making a huge mess of things, then go for it. Just understand that most people aren't nearly as invested as you are in your future child's sex. This would be the second most boring social event, right behind the baby shower. Only my opinion.
Beauty Pageants. I have no problem with them it's just that the age these parents make their kids enter and the s**t they do to try to win like doping them up on sugar and energy drinks. Using spray tans and makeup on kids that are sometimes 1-2 years old! And in the end they extort their child for little to no monetary gain. I've seen parents neglect their other kids in favor of the pagent queen. And in the end you get a spoiled brat that throws a hissy fit and is disrespectful. But who cares, you spent 15k to win 5k and you're on TLC
So in order to find out more about how being spoiled in childhood may affect your adult life, we spoke with Lynn How, the author of “Positive Young Mind'' and life coach who specializes in supporting educators, parents, and children with improving and prevention of mental health issues. She also runs this Facebook teacher coaching group which is an excellent resource for teachers in need of support when leaving, changing their mindset, changing their schools or setting healthy work/life boundaries.
“Do you know anyone who has trouble keeping their emotions in check when they don’t get their own way?” Lynn said and added that it may be that they were spoilt as a child and this hasn’t done them any favors as they move into their adult life.
"Boys will be boys".
this should be used when boys are doing something like putting hot dogs on the slide, not for s3xual h@rassment (edit: ty all SO MUCH for the upvotes!!!)
Unschooling. I agree that kids should have some sort of say in what they learn - if your kid is really interested in, say, bugs, then by god you take them to every bug museum you can find and buy them all the bug books - BUT kids should have a basic curriculum whether they're interested in it or not. I get that most kids don't like math, or history, or the "boring" classes, but I strongly disagree with the unschooling attitude of "my kid does not want to learn it, so I won't make them."
Parents never telling their children "no" and refusing to set any boundaries.
I get empowering children by giving them a voice in decision-making and the freedom to speak their minds, but general social norms would be nice.
Listening to 8 year olds throw fits in public and being rude to family and strangers (at top volume) is not endearing in any way.
“These children may turn into adults who show less resilience when things go wrong and they may give up easily when things aren’t working out. Also, they want it all and they want it now whereas most adults can tolerate delayed gratification,” she explained.
Videoing kids at their worst moments and then posting it on social media.
A very distant relative of mine has a YouTube channel with her unschooled kids, and they’re always crying in the back or telling her to stop the camera and it’s just insane that she still posts it
Taking youth sports too seriously.
I helped with and attended games for years, and can count on one hand the number of times I saw a child lose their temper. Parents lost it all the time. More than once I've seen a parent have to be physically restrained.
Ear piercing babies. That pisses me off. Let them decide. Don't put your vanity onto your baby. ESPECIALLY with piercing guns.
Had my ears pierced as a baby. Now I have 6 in one ear, 4 in the other (including a Daith piercing). And tattoos. Hehe, maybe I can blame it on not having a choice when I was a kid. The rest were my choice and my decision.
Moreover, “other traits that they may display include a lack of independence as their problems were generally solved for them, an inability to take criticism as nothing they did badly would invoke the appropriate feedback and the idea that everything should just come to them easily without too much work.”
“This last point is also coupled with a huge sense of disappointment when it doesn’t work out. All in all, this doesn’t set a child up to have positive relationships or good mental health as an adult.”
Making a kid finish their plate.
Also, keep in mind serving size for a 5yo should be much smaller than a teenager or adult. If it doesn't satisfy, let them have a bit more, but never force food on kids.
taking the door off their room. i have neverrrrr understood this
Family vloggers. Growing up in front of a camera can be so damaging for a child. Don't even get me started on the child labour it is - using young kids to earn money isn't good parenting in my opinion.
Ryan's toy review. I remember the first time seeing it after my daughter told me about it. I had to explain to her that not everyone gets to go on vacation every month. Now I see that kid and he looks tired and miserable.
There are many different challenges a spoiled child is likely to face while growing up. “A lack of appropriate boundaries can be very confusing for a child and although on the outside, these children can seem argumentative and rude, this stems from a lack of self-confidence on the inside as they have not been given these tools,” Lynn explained.
“Once their safety blanket of the parents spoiling them has been removed, coping on their own would bring on anxiety which could manifest itself as a tantrum,” she added.
I think those parents who impose a raw vegan diet on their young kids - there is no way that a child can sustain itself on a raw vegan diet - you'd need to be constantly eating to get the necessary calories.
Vegetables and fruit are very high in fibre - both soluble and non-soluble - so you can be very full from relatively few calories compared with even a high-protein diet.
Vegan can be a struggle if the parent doesn't do the research. And a raw diet can be done as an adult, but it would still be difficult.
A raw vegan diet for a young child is basically child abuse.
Ohhhhh gaaaawd; a vegan parent; Dont force your kids to eat a sh1tty vegan diet
Modern day: Parents assuming that once a child hits school age that it's the schools responsibility to raise them. These same parents then get angry when their child is punished by the school.
See this FAR too often.
One of my best friends is an English teacher to 7-9th graders and..THIS. she doesn't get emails or calls from parents on how to help their kids learn. She gets angry emails about a child getting zeros on grades for not turning in homework. Emails stating "that was obviously A level work, all their other teachers gave them an A". In spelling and grammar there is only one correct way, there is rarely room for interpretation! After ten years of teaching she is rethinking her career choice. Not because of the children, because of the parents. She can't discipline a student who threw a desk at her twice. It's definitely a modern thing, my mom would have dragged me out of principal's office by my ear. This child's parent said she "misunderstood his actions".
Coddling sons while holding daughters to higher standards.
Wild f*****g thought here; TREAT YOUR KIDS EQUALLY REGARDLESS OF WHAT SEX THEY ARE. This s**t damaged me and my siblings so much. The son was the golden child, the girls were all but ignored. This s**t needs to stop
I think even if siblings are the same sex parents often treat them differently. They think it's a real secret that they have a favourite child but it is usually massive obvious to everyone- especially the non-favourite child
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There is saying in therapy: Mothers love sons and train their daughters. I think that is a completely true statement.
That's dad's doing that, not mom's. Dad's not saying no to daughter then yell at son for asking for the same
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True. My parents give my little brother more privileges and they NEVER punish him even if he's being a brat
That seems to be an ethnic thing that I learned the hard way from a controlling mother-in-law. I won't say what her ethnic background is but I've always discouraged my daughters getting involved with that ethnicity if his mother is living. Their sons' are God's while the daughters' are the slaves to the men. Not in my house.
I definitely don't think that's true in every circumstance. A lot of times sons can be held to higher standards.
It's true enough in a lot of circumstances actually
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I hate this, I have to do everything and be so responsible, then my brothers do nothing
I completely agree with this. I also believe as the middle child at one house and the oldest at another that that can affect the standard that you’re held to. When I’m the oldest if anyone makes a mistake than it’s automatically my fault because I’m the oldest and when I’m the middle child I’m pretty much forgotten and my siblings are always the stars of the show.
Oh heck yes. Personally, I've never experienced this, but my friend with a bunch of sisters and one brother had. The brother could do no wrong, but the girls were constantly punished for every little thing.
My Grandma did this with my uncles, and my Mom does it with my brothers. She would never admit it, but she does.
In 20 years of nannying, I never had a girl who refused to do for herself. Boys had to be carried, hand-fed, babied along. They would rather sit and die than walk back to the house.
Or vice versa. I have also seen families that adored the girls and ignored the boys. The best advice I can give is to love each of your children as individuals, for that is what they are. Each will have different needs, qualities, talents and yes faults. While you may need different methods for each child, make sure each knows how much you love them and work on developing those personal bonds.
Everyone should be treated the same because coddling a son is hurting a daughter because girls need help too not just boys and I'm tired of parents thinking boys are so awesome because all genders are, no matter if they are a boy, girl, non-binary or both, they should be treated the same.
Sigh....it seems society is full of idiots. It’s so cancerous that even the parents who claim they want the best for their children are using more ego than self-sacrifice to not-really-raise them. The bad parents like to show off the facade. The good ones are too real and in the moment for you to notice their existence. They don’t need social media, as they see ego for the lie it is. If I showed the world my childhood photos, they would say I was a happy child who couldn’t possibly be abused. But those who saw those dark circles in every one, who saw me holding back tears, they’d know I only smiled to survive.
I grew up in a "computers are for boys" household. My brother had a computer. I got to type reports on an antique typewriter.
Can go opposite too. My elder sister was the absolute apple of my parents' eyes. My little bro and I were just the extras. Daddy's little girl has to be perfect. No one hurts her. But Daddy's boy got hurt? Toughen up. You're a man, aren't you? 😭
OR coddling daughte4s while hold stricter standard and using physical punishment on sons!!
Wheisht- I coddle all my babies - boy or girl you're getting a damn good coddling from your mammy - in all seriousness though I very much hold my children to the same standards, age appropriately since I don't expect my 5yr old to behave like my 17yr old. And my boys have adhd so an added bonus
Or the other way around. My in laws do that. I find it sickening. I hate them with all my heart.
A friend of mine has a pair of fraternal twins (boy and girl) with her horrible ex. When they go to visit him he will take his son outside to play and do other activities; but his daughter is told that she isn't allowed to go outside, so she has to try to play all alone or just watch TV the whole time. The twins are 4 years old.
My parents divorced when I was very young, so this was exteremely obvious between my parents. For example-Mom allowed me to cuss by 10 yrs old& by cuss I mean words like "c**p" not "sh1t" but at dad's house? I couldn't even say "take a dump" even tho he & little bro often used it.
I'm the only girl with 3 older brothers. My youngest brother and I are only 13 months apart (the older 2 are 11 and 15 years older than us, so they were almost raised completely separately from us). So by the time I showed up, my parents had 15 years of raising only boys. Even though my youngest brother and I are the same age, he was always treated much better than I was. His choices were always treated with respect, while mine were always questioned or belittled. As a teen we both played soccer and accelerated at art, but his accomplishments were celebrated much more. I can count on one hand the number of soccer games that my dad showed up to for me in the 10+ years that we played, while he went to more than half of my brother's games. My brother was allowed to have girl friends over (even to spend the night), while I wasn't allowed unless my brother was watching over us. I even made much higher grades and took Honors classes, but my brother's academics were perceived as greater.
This was my family. 4 girls and 1 boy. He was the golden star. Never did anything wrong, never got punished. Now he's paralyzed and my parents still take care of him. Never ends.
It reminds me of when I see post of women saying their daughters has "stolen their man" like that isn't their dad? your daughter is not competition!
Now I was a bit more spiled than my little brother. BUT IT WAS NOT BECAUSE OF MY SEX. It was only because I had better grades, And i didnt get in as much trouble. Although I was only spoiled by my dad, and my brother was spoiled by my mom. I did get a chromebook one year when I had an Ipad already, and reid got an Ipad because he didnt have one. Wondering why? he had bad Wifi so he slammed it on the ground and stomeped on it. So thats why I had a chromebook and an Ipad and he only had an Ipad. (Btw I had begged for a chromebook, so They werent just plain up spoiling me.)
Hey where’d you get that picture of my brother and me???? Oh wait… I’m not in it… wonder why
i have small issue with this - i hold my daughter to a higher standard than my son- hes a non-verbal autistic. i would not expect him to handle watching a smaller than him child for the minute it takes me to run to the br. of course i always thank her and give her an extra treat. shes 8 i treat her like an 8yo. at 8 i watched small children when their parents had to go into another room. would it matter if it was the other way around? nope id simply ask son to watch daughter. each child is different but you should love them the same way
Son: It's Friday, go out, have some fun. Daugter: Clean your brother's room.
This one—! Perfect example: my cousin and her two younger siblings, one a girl (middle), the other a boy (baby). Even though they’re all in their 50’s, it’s apparent that she favors the son. She’d (the eldest) has told me many examples on while growing up, my aunt was harder on them vs. the baby brother.
And the eldest is the one who takes care of her, in terms of making sure she ate a low sodium diet, made sure she took her meds, etc.
Load More Replies... This one—! Perfect example: my cousin and her two younger siblings, one a girl (middle), the other a boy (baby). Even though they’re all in their 50’s, it’s apparent that she favors the son. She’d (the eldest) has told me many examples on while growing up, my aunt was harder on them vs. the baby brother.
I think this can be a cultural problem. The girls have to be 'protected' but the boys can run wild.
treat your children equally! if your child is younger, don't let them get away from it! If your child is older, make sure they know what they did wrong! Treat them age such!
this and treating the younger child better than the older " he can take care of himself" " buy it for yourself" and the the ultimate he doesn't know better my parents used to use this one for me when i would get mad for my brother doing the same exact thing that I was doing at that age and getting a slap on the wrist while i get whipped with a belt.
I thought there was such thing as sex?! U ppl need to make up ur minds. Lol
I havnt actually seen this. In my family and most others I know the girls can do no wrong and the boys are constantly berated, treated like lying pieces of c**p and generally told they are the problem with the world. Welcome to life with a feminist mother.
In our household my mother favoured my younger brother, my older brother and I were always to blame.
All of the sports and activities I was interested in were deemed "for boys" when I was a kid so I had nothing to tether me or stave off boredom and started drinking at 12 instead for fun. Kids NEED to have positive things to submerge in and peers sharing interests to connect to, or trouble is easy to find. JUST LET ME PLAY WHATEVER!
Bro I see this example in my family so much thank god I’m an only child lol
I did treat my boy and girl equally. They're both good cooks and good spouses and parents.
As a child who grew up with very little. Was not spoiled. As an adult have these very same issues with healthy relationships and anxiety. My children have a single mother(me), don't have everything, and have the same problems that I have had going to school. Thanks for making people believe my children are spoiled and are not worthy of help or understanding. WOW! We have all been diagnosed with ADHD, social anxiety and learning disabilities but let's just call us all entitled and spoiled. Maybe because we didn't have the support and structures we deserved, we ended up being ridiculed and bullied by a society that is labeling others wrongly! Where do you think these school shooters are coming from? We are making them by these "assumptions ". So go and keep your eyes shut to societal abuse and put it all on the parents!!
I’m a single mom of both a girl an boy an I am absolutely obsessed with BOTH of them EQUALLY!! They both are my entire world!!
My dad wanted a son when I was born and he took me to do all the things girls in the 50's didn't normally do. Mom was more hands off but did instill the lady like traits. My sister, born 4 years later was a girly girl. She was my mom's little darling. She was afraid to do most of the things I loved to do. I am forever grateful dad wanabout. boy.
Watch out! Children are not allowed to be children according to this asshat.
Oh you mean all the time? Yea. Fùck off. Watched my entire family get destroyed thanks to this kinda crap. But sure, barely happens this way. 🙄
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Moreover, Lynn argues that “often these children will have friendship issues as they find it challenging to let others have their own way and they may find it difficult to form positive relationships with other adults such as teachers due to difficulty with conformity.” She concluded that overall this adds up to a childhood that is more challenging than it needs to be.
Posting intimate pics of your kid all over social media.
Now, I have no issue with parents sharing adorable baby pics. Hell, I don't mind you guys sharing a lot of them. When you go through hell and back to carry, birth, and raise the kid, you get a pass on the social media sharing, somewhat.
HOWEVER, sharing pics of your kid in the bathtub and doing bodily functions is not okay. 1) It's gross. I don't think your kid's blowout diaper or "first poopy in the toilet" is funny or cute. I don't want that on my timeline. 2) Pedos are out there, be careful. 3) I know it's hard to imagine, but little Peighsyn is gonna be a big boy someday. In fact, he may even be on social media in the future. His friends (AND EMPLOYERS) are gonna see those gross vomit and poop pics. Not a good idea.
My sister in law keeps posting pictures of her daughters doing everyday kid activities, but what shocks me most are the comments. Every day there is at least one person commenting “wow so sexy” or other version of “sexy” on a picture where her daughters pose for the camera. It’s usually her female friends commenting and she replies things like “aww thank you” or such. Who the hell thinks a 5 year old is sexy? And what mother isn’t alarmed by such comments??
Maybe not the worst, but my parents forced me to play competitive sports for years when I clearly hated it and I'm still a little bitter. I was horrible at soccer, they even offered me 10 bucks for every goal I scored but I still couldn't do it. As an adult I still shudder a little every time I drive by a baseball field, thinking about how much time I wasted there and the embarrassment of sucking at something and getting laughed at by the other kids. This isn't to say I wasn't an athletic kid, I loved skating, riding bikes, hiking and all that. Parents - if your kid isn't good at a sport, doesn't have any interest in it and obviously has no talent for it, please don't make them do it.
My dad and his wife did this with their sons. I kid you not, they were forced to quit hockey and soccer due to damaged knees, shoulders and backs when they were in their teens.
Not giving kids privacy or personal space. I have teenagers and unless they give me a reason not to trust them, I don’t rummage around in their rooms or secretly read their texts.
I don't violate my kids personal space. Well they are adults now but still didn't do it while they were younger, but I also don't violate my wife's personal space either. I really dislike hearing people talking about going through their kids and spouses phones, wallets and other things, these people lack boundaries.
Not dressing your kids like kids.
Also raising your kids on YouTube/Instagram/TikTok before they're old enough to decide how much privacy they want in their lives.
Shielding their kid from failure. There are so many people now that are afraid of failing, so much so, that they don't even attempt something new if they have a hint that they may fail at it.
If a kid can't learn how to cope with failure, they turn into an adult man-child, who falsely claims that they had an election stolen from them!
Not saying a word about sexuality and shielding children from any sort of affection on tv or in real life.
I can't stress enough how much this has contributed to my intense shame whenever I masturbate and my inability to be intimate. Of course this is a compounded issue for me personally but such a censored childhood was the backbone for all of this pain.
Additionally....using "pet names" for your child's anatomy/genitals and not understanding why this is problematic/dangerous. If your child tells the teacher that uncle Tom licked their "cookie"....the teacher may not understand the SIGNIFICANCE of this confession. Teach kids the proper words for parts of their body.
Taking your kids to the pub with you on a weekend.
I'm not talking an afternoon lunch with a glass of wine or two. I'm talking about kids being left to run amok in car parks and on pavements while parents sit inside and have a drink.
Look after your f**king kids.
People having their kids stay up with them until the wee hours of the morning. By 11pm they are cranky, fussy, and clearly tired.
Put. Your. Kids. To. Bed.
Why would you even do that? It was hard for my parents to put me to bed. Sleep is really important, especially at this young age.
Pushing your kids to bring home flawless reports. Had a friend my sophomore year of highschool (straight A student, extra curricular stuff) with strict parents obviously living vicariously through her- who blew her head off with her dad's shotgun sitting at the kitchen table because it was near finals week, her grades were plummeting and the only boyfriend she's ever had had just broken up with her 3 days prior. I'd like to introduce a new parenting trend; Talking to your kids, listening and understanding.
Ugh, my parents had unrealistic expectations for me like the friend mentioned. I almost took my life plenty of times. I even would contemplate suicide when I didn't make my parents look perfect.
Not knocking “because what if the kid is secretly running a highly illegal business in there” Like please, knock. It will save you and your kids from discomfort.
Illegal business? What, do they think their teenager is running a drug ring from their bedroom?
Taking your kid's side when he's being an a****le to strangers. DO your job and educate your kid so I don't have to punch him in the face.
Publicly shaming your kids. If you do that s**t you are an as****le and a disgusting human being.
*If you do that s**t ON PURPOSE you are an as****le. If your kids do something incredibly stupid (like run in front of a moving car, or something like that) then go for it, they deserve it.
Never listening to your child. The whole children need to be seen and not heard schtick, f**ked up my social skills a whole lot with my parents and people.
Same. I was raised to be compliant and always caring about what other people think. Likely why I feel the need to comment on social media on a daily basis. .... sorry for my constant ramblings.
My aunt and uncle are and have been huge supporters of the "if you just give them a video game then they'll be quiet forever" so my 6-year old cousin has absolutely no social skills and is a difficult, struggling first grader but is alright at playing Angry Birds and Minecraft.
Tossing a phone to a kid any time there is a wait. I get the desire to keep busy while waiting but we don't learn patience without practice
Wanting to be "friends" with their kids. It really pisses me off. Parents that won't challenge, question or correct poor behaviour.
I've got three boys to raise and my attitude has always been - I'm your dad. I'm not your friend. I have friends you have friends. We can be friends when you're old enough to buy me a beer and I've done the sort of parenting that means I want to have a beer with you.
I don't know, my parents were our friends and still disciplined us. There's a middle ground between the two situations described here. I don't like parents like OP.
Non-parenting. That is, when people have kids but let their kids run wild with zero effort put into actually raising them into functional members of society.
Homeschooling. Frequently it just means non-schooling. Either the parent in question does not have the ability to teach, due to lack of education on their own part, has no intention of teaching with it all just falling back into non-parenting, or it's a deliberate attempt by fundies to keep their kids from getting an education. There are few exceptions.
Homeschooling, when done right, is amazing. I was brought up homeschooled and I'm in a much better place academically than I would have been had I grown up in public school. Unschooling is the problem, as well as parents who want to homeschool but don't take responsibility for their children's education.
Infant circumcision. Sorry but unneeded cosmetic surgery performed on non consenting minors is just stupid, useless, and illogical.
My first son (34) is uncircumcised however my second son (16)had to be at 3 due to constant infections and pain. Don’t criticise.
Note: this post originally had 73 images. It’s been shortened to the top 40 images based on user votes.
My takeaway…. If you have kids, you’re doing it wrong. Sincerely, the internet. Trust me most parents worry enough that we are or have messed up our kids. Parenting is a LOT of trial and error as well as hoping you got the balancing act down enough that your kids will be ok adults.
That's exactly what I was thinking. A lot of people criticising parents up there probably don't have kids yet, and that's why the little empathy and so much judgement.
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Parenting is hard. Really hard. I have been so incredibly fortunate to be able to be a mom (I have one son), but I know I've made lots of mistakes, and I'm still learning. I think if you're open to learning, love them, keep them safe, support them throughout the ups and downs, teach them to be kind and honest...well that goes a long way. I don't know why I'm blathering on here...I need more coffee.
There's nothing so humbling as having an extremely judgemental opinion of parenting and then having reality handed to you when you have one of your own. Or at least it was like that for me lol.
Haha yes! I thought I will be amazing at parenting having like 20+ nieces and nephews around all the time.. now I have 2 and wonder if I will ever know what I'm doing:/
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I get the ones concerning actual safety but elf on a shelf and unique names? Mind your business lol the elf isn’t hurting anyone and biblical names aren’t popular times change. If they didn’t we’d all still be named Ebenezer and Agnes.
Haha just wait until Ebenezer makes a comeback. Ngl I kind of like it.
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The parenting trend that's really horrible is that parents (like everyone else) work such insanely long hours that they don't actually have time to parent, and are too exhausted to parent by the time they do finally see their kids. You can't raise functional human beings that way.
My god posts like this drive me crazy. READ THE ASSIGNMENT. I wonder if these people failed all their tests in school as well. To clarify, the assignment was "What Is The Worst Parenting Trend To Date". Not "name things that bug you about kids". Examples above like "boys will be boys" is NOT a current "trend", it is an age-old mindset, if anything the trend is to STOP putting up with that philosophy. And "kids have no manners these days"?? Really? There are quotes from Socrates saying that close to 2,500 years ago, and every generation since then has complained about "kids these days". Antivaxxers? Yeah, that's a new trend. Helicopter parents? Yeah that's a new trend. But most of these are BS
I know this may be very unpopular, but I think it's disturbing when parents allow or even encourage underage (ie, under 18) kids to get surgery that will permanently alter their appearance in some way. I saw this happen when I worked in the modeling industry often. 14 year olds getting nose jobs or other plastic surgery.
i think a single piercing on each ear is ok after they are old enough because they don't dramatically change their boddies and they can grow over
Load More Replies... Using filters on kids photos when sharing on social media. What is wrong with how your kids look naturally?
Lots of parents don't want to actually parent their children, and shouldn't have been parents in the first place.
Not bringing something to keep your young child entertained. I know you need to repaint the bedroom, but your 2-year-old doesn't want to sit in a buggy quietly while you stare at samples for three hours. Or sit in a restaurant booth doing nothing while you ignore them. My parents always had books, a small toy, some crayons, something to keep me occupied when I was little, or at the very least they would TALK to me, they would engage me so I wasn't bored and pitching a fit.
My parents engaged with us. We were a family. They weren’t a couple with kids along.
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I have one to add to this list. Don't tell your kid to not cry. My mom did this with me ever since I was 4, and wondered why I had such severe anger issues a few years later.
So much this! My dad (wanker) told me "Only babies cry," and I was always punished for being upset or emotional by him and other adults around me. I still can't handle anger properly because I was never taught how to.
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The year our oldest was born we spent the night at my parent's house on Christmas Eve. She was 6 months old and you'll never guess who kept opening the door, locked even, to make sure that her parents knew what they were doing after 6 months. Forty year old parents, mind you. If you guessed my mother you would be correct. She did that s**t all the time while I was growing up and when I came home from college. She was stifling and I was extremely sheltered. You bet your a*s I knock on our daughters' door. I even wait for an answer when I hear giggling and know they're up to something "naughty." They're 5 and 2 so their naughty is still something we can cover with paint or the dolls stay bald.
My mom won't get the covid vax, bothers the c**p out of me. I'm 14 so not much I can do. A past teacher of ours son's dies right after he got the vaccine. Its the vaccine that caused it. He was very young. I'm not sure if I recall correctly but I think it was a heart attack. He could have led an unhealthy lifestyle. She thinks fake since vaccines like the small pox took years. Its 2022 things are more advanced. I haven't talked to her yet about getting the vaccine. Do you think I should? Byw I have several other vaccine just the covid one.
Parents: please don’t invade your kids’ (especially teens’) privacy. It’s seriously detrimental to trust and doesn’t contribute much to the relationship. Unless you’re willing to trade love for personal knowledge, don’t snoop. Just stay out of our stuff. Please.
I think those goodie bags after a birthday could be gone. What are they for anyway? Is it a reward for attending the birthday? Same with why inviting the whole class when the kid is not even friends with all of them? Dont go over the top. Let the kid choose who to invite, the best friends, go bowling, bake the favorite cake, order pizza, kids are usually easy to please when it comes to their special day.
Dear Parents - some girls are just tomboys. Don't freak out and drag us off to a counselor (or doctor, or therapist, or gender program, et...) There is nothing wrong with us - we just like to hunt/fish/play sports/work on cars, et... It's OK. We are not all born to be Disney Princesses.
Astounded that they don't have "bully" on this list. Growing up, my folks made it routine to be my bullies because it was fun for them! Get a boyfriend? A crush? Bad grades? Constant teasing and harassment. Then they wonder why I don't visit them after all these years...
So many of these, non parenting ones, are done by someone I know with her son. I fear for him.
I was a single mom. I raised 4 kids alone that are now 24-31 years old. They are all educated, mature, responsible and functioning adults. My key was balance. Don’t be lazy, it’s hard work and a full time job but also have your own personal boundaries that they know and understand. A healthy fear of your parents is not a bad thing. It’s strong motivation to do the right thing but not so much that it’s abuse. My kids could tell me anything and often told me more than I wanted to know but we have always had healthy relationships. I respect their boundaries and they respect mine. Balance, consistency, say no and let them lose occasionally. It builds strong adults.
I don't even know why I'm here. Don't have kids. Don't want them. Life is so much simpler. Thank you!
Screentime, forcing kids to talk to strangers/people, not believing their kids when they think/know they have any kind of disorder/etc, no privacy, abusive parents, I have a whole lot. I know out of experience
Stop filming everything they do for social media. I don't want to see your child having a poo !!
Also, forcing religion on your kids is a great way to end up with at least one bitter anti-theist adult offspring who make it their life’s mission to let everyone know that you failed as a parent. JS
Most of these were excellent in their comments. A lot of parents today DO NOT PARENT. That is sad that other people have to put up with ill mannered, and sometimes dangerous, children.
How are any of these trends? They span the generations, except maybe the gender reveals
by no means a perfect parent, we try and do our best. Try to teach them to be polite (goes a long way) basics to take care of themselves (cooking, laundry etc) and help when ever I can without doing it for them. So far working out ok :)
Lol. How about keep your nose out of people's business. Parenting is hard. Shut up and stop thinking you're the center of the universe and that you can tell people how to live their lives or how to treat their children. Yes. Some of those are true, without any doubt.. But the rest.. Just mind your own business and stop thinking you're the best parent in the world because you do it differently that the others.
You and your Single kid 24/7/365! Until 1st grade comes around and kid doesn't know what to Do and goes to preschool.
Love to see a bunch of people who feel entitled to parent other people's children act like the kids are being entitled just for being kids. Kids aren't good at listening, kids don't always remember social rules, that doesn't make them bad kids nor does it make their parents bad parents. While it's frustrating to encounter kids doing frustrating things, you aren't entitled to go off on them or treat them badly simply because they're children and you think it your responsibility to teach them some pedantic lesson.
'Gentle' parenting. Stupidest thing I've ever heard. As stupid as not getting your kids vaccinated.
What bothers me is all the people trying to tell me COVID vaccines are good for my baby, don't pierce her ears it's wrong, and don't circumcise my son, are the same people voting for young kids to take hormone blockers and cutting healthy breasts of young girls, like gtfoh 2 tiny holes and no flap of skin to worry about cleaning properly your hole life is way better then never being able to breast feed a future child if you decide to detransition in the future cause parents/teachers/doctors pushed it on you when you were young and couldn't fully comprehend what it truly mean to change genders. God forbid my daughter is anything like me and becomes the biggest tomboy, everyone's going to try to turn her into a boy, for something that's completely normal. Smh this world is going downhill fast. And it's so sad people are stuck on this woke agenda I don't mind the LGBTQ+ but don't shove it down our kids throats prek, kindergarten and up don't need to learn about that. Or remembering pronou
'Gentle parenting', kids need firm discipline, rules and strict boundaries.
My takeaway…. If you have kids, you’re doing it wrong. Sincerely, the internet. Trust me most parents worry enough that we are or have messed up our kids. Parenting is a LOT of trial and error as well as hoping you got the balancing act down enough that your kids will be ok adults.
That's exactly what I was thinking. A lot of people criticising parents up there probably don't have kids yet, and that's why the little empathy and so much judgement.
Load More Replies... Parenting is hard. Really hard. I have been so incredibly fortunate to be able to be a mom (I have one son), but I know I've made lots of mistakes, and I'm still learning. I think if you're open to learning, love them, keep them safe, support them throughout the ups and downs, teach them to be kind and honest...well that goes a long way. I don't know why I'm blathering on here...I need more coffee.
There's nothing so humbling as having an extremely judgemental opinion of parenting and then having reality handed to you when you have one of your own. Or at least it was like that for me lol.
Haha yes! I thought I will be amazing at parenting having like 20+ nieces and nephews around all the time.. now I have 2 and wonder if I will ever know what I'm doing:/
Load More Replies... I get the ones concerning actual safety but elf on a shelf and unique names? Mind your business lol the elf isn’t hurting anyone and biblical names aren’t popular times change. If they didn’t we’d all still be named Ebenezer and Agnes.
Haha just wait until Ebenezer makes a comeback. Ngl I kind of like it.
Load More Replies... The parenting trend that's really horrible is that parents (like everyone else) work such insanely long hours that they don't actually have time to parent, and are too exhausted to parent by the time they do finally see their kids. You can't raise functional human beings that way.
My god posts like this drive me crazy. READ THE ASSIGNMENT. I wonder if these people failed all their tests in school as well. To clarify, the assignment was "What Is The Worst Parenting Trend To Date". Not "name things that bug you about kids". Examples above like "boys will be boys" is NOT a current "trend", it is an age-old mindset, if anything the trend is to STOP putting up with that philosophy. And "kids have no manners these days"?? Really? There are quotes from Socrates saying that close to 2,500 years ago, and every generation since then has complained about "kids these days". Antivaxxers? Yeah, that's a new trend. Helicopter parents? Yeah that's a new trend. But most of these are BS
I know this may be very unpopular, but I think it's disturbing when parents allow or even encourage underage (ie, under 18) kids to get surgery that will permanently alter their appearance in some way. I saw this happen when I worked in the modeling industry often. 14 year olds getting nose jobs or other plastic surgery.
i think a single piercing on each ear is ok after they are old enough because they don't dramatically change their boddies and they can grow over
Load More Replies... Using filters on kids photos when sharing on social media. What is wrong with how your kids look naturally?
Lots of parents don't want to actually parent their children, and shouldn't have been parents in the first place.
Not bringing something to keep your young child entertained. I know you need to repaint the bedroom, but your 2-year-old doesn't want to sit in a buggy quietly while you stare at samples for three hours. Or sit in a restaurant booth doing nothing while you ignore them. My parents always had books, a small toy, some crayons, something to keep me occupied when I was little, or at the very least they would TALK to me, they would engage me so I wasn't bored and pitching a fit.
My parents engaged with us. We were a family. They weren’t a couple with kids along.
Load More Replies... I have one to add to this list. Don't tell your kid to not cry. My mom did this with me ever since I was 4, and wondered why I had such severe anger issues a few years later.
So much this! My dad (wanker) told me "Only babies cry," and I was always punished for being upset or emotional by him and other adults around me. I still can't handle anger properly because I was never taught how to.
Load More Replies... The year our oldest was born we spent the night at my parent's house on Christmas Eve. She was 6 months old and you'll never guess who kept opening the door, locked even, to make sure that her parents knew what they were doing after 6 months. Forty year old parents, mind you. If you guessed my mother you would be correct. She did that s**t all the time while I was growing up and when I came home from college. She was stifling and I was extremely sheltered. You bet your a*s I knock on our daughters' door. I even wait for an answer when I hear giggling and know they're up to something "naughty." They're 5 and 2 so their naughty is still something we can cover with paint or the dolls stay bald.
My mom won't get the covid vax, bothers the c**p out of me. I'm 14 so not much I can do. A past teacher of ours son's dies right after he got the vaccine. Its the vaccine that caused it. He was very young. I'm not sure if I recall correctly but I think it was a heart attack. He could have led an unhealthy lifestyle. She thinks fake since vaccines like the small pox took years. Its 2022 things are more advanced. I haven't talked to her yet about getting the vaccine. Do you think I should? Byw I have several other vaccine just the covid one.
Parents: please don’t invade your kids’ (especially teens’) privacy. It’s seriously detrimental to trust and doesn’t contribute much to the relationship. Unless you’re willing to trade love for personal knowledge, don’t snoop. Just stay out of our stuff. Please.
I think those goodie bags after a birthday could be gone. What are they for anyway? Is it a reward for attending the birthday? Same with why inviting the whole class when the kid is not even friends with all of them? Dont go over the top. Let the kid choose who to invite, the best friends, go bowling, bake the favorite cake, order pizza, kids are usually easy to please when it comes to their special day.
Dear Parents - some girls are just tomboys. Don't freak out and drag us off to a counselor (or doctor, or therapist, or gender program, et...) There is nothing wrong with us - we just like to hunt/fish/play sports/work on cars, et... It's OK. We are not all born to be Disney Princesses.
Astounded that they don't have "bully" on this list. Growing up, my folks made it routine to be my bullies because it was fun for them! Get a boyfriend? A crush? Bad grades? Constant teasing and harassment. Then they wonder why I don't visit them after all these years...
So many of these, non parenting ones, are done by someone I know with her son. I fear for him.
I was a single mom. I raised 4 kids alone that are now 24-31 years old. They are all educated, mature, responsible and functioning adults. My key was balance. Don’t be lazy, it’s hard work and a full time job but also have your own personal boundaries that they know and understand. A healthy fear of your parents is not a bad thing. It’s strong motivation to do the right thing but not so much that it’s abuse. My kids could tell me anything and often told me more than I wanted to know but we have always had healthy relationships. I respect their boundaries and they respect mine. Balance, consistency, say no and let them lose occasionally. It builds strong adults.
I don't even know why I'm here. Don't have kids. Don't want them. Life is so much simpler. Thank you!
Screentime, forcing kids to talk to strangers/people, not believing their kids when they think/know they have any kind of disorder/etc, no privacy, abusive parents, I have a whole lot. I know out of experience
Stop filming everything they do for social media. I don't want to see your child having a poo !!
Also, forcing religion on your kids is a great way to end up with at least one bitter anti-theist adult offspring who make it their life’s mission to let everyone know that you failed as a parent. JS
Most of these were excellent in their comments. A lot of parents today DO NOT PARENT. That is sad that other people have to put up with ill mannered, and sometimes dangerous, children.
How are any of these trends? They span the generations, except maybe the gender reveals
by no means a perfect parent, we try and do our best. Try to teach them to be polite (goes a long way) basics to take care of themselves (cooking, laundry etc) and help when ever I can without doing it for them. So far working out ok :)
Lol. How about keep your nose out of people's business. Parenting is hard. Shut up and stop thinking you're the center of the universe and that you can tell people how to live their lives or how to treat their children. Yes. Some of those are true, without any doubt.. But the rest.. Just mind your own business and stop thinking you're the best parent in the world because you do it differently that the others.
You and your Single kid 24/7/365! Until 1st grade comes around and kid doesn't know what to Do and goes to preschool.
Love to see a bunch of people who feel entitled to parent other people's children act like the kids are being entitled just for being kids. Kids aren't good at listening, kids don't always remember social rules, that doesn't make them bad kids nor does it make their parents bad parents. While it's frustrating to encounter kids doing frustrating things, you aren't entitled to go off on them or treat them badly simply because they're children and you think it your responsibility to teach them some pedantic lesson.
'Gentle' parenting. Stupidest thing I've ever heard. As stupid as not getting your kids vaccinated.
What bothers me is all the people trying to tell me COVID vaccines are good for my baby, don't pierce her ears it's wrong, and don't circumcise my son, are the same people voting for young kids to take hormone blockers and cutting healthy breasts of young girls, like gtfoh 2 tiny holes and no flap of skin to worry about cleaning properly your hole life is way better then never being able to breast feed a future child if you decide to detransition in the future cause parents/teachers/doctors pushed it on you when you were young and couldn't fully comprehend what it truly mean to change genders. God forbid my daughter is anything like me and becomes the biggest tomboy, everyone's going to try to turn her into a boy, for something that's completely normal. Smh this world is going downhill fast. And it's so sad people are stuck on this woke agenda I don't mind the LGBTQ+ but don't shove it down our kids throats prek, kindergarten and up don't need to learn about that. Or remembering pronou
'Gentle parenting', kids need firm discipline, rules and strict boundaries.
